InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Windows on the West ❯ The Little Intimacies Part III ( Chapter 57 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Part III

Disclaimer:  I do not own the characters of Inuyasha.

~oOo~

Muscles tensing as she smoothed her hands over Sesshoumaru's abdomen, Kagome swallowed hard at the need filling her lower body with desire for him, for fulfillment at his hands.

Kagome could feel the tension beginning to fill him, too, and was quite well aware of his body's need for her – he was not small, and the proof of that was poking up out of the water, brushing the smooth flesh about his navel insistently.  Blushing, she pulled away just a little and looked up at him, uncertain what he would want her to do.  Was he going to take her as his here – now?

Closing his eyes and forcing his body into submission though it hurt like hell to do so, he breathed deeply, then opened them in time to catch the look in her huge doe eyes as she looked up at him, her shy uncertainty completely endearing and tugging at his heart.  That look allowed him to force his feral side back, despite his instincts frustrated howling – he wanted her more than he'd ever wanted anything, and in that moment, he finally understood his father.

If his sire had felt anything like he felt for Kagome for his little hime, then nothing would have been able to keep him away from her – not even the need to change his habits as he had, settling down into a life more closely resembling a ningen's than an inuyoukai's.

But... he was extremely grateful that his miko would not need for him to do the same – she fit him in ways that Izayoi could never have fit his father.  Though, despite his past beliefs, he could no longer be sure he wouldn't have done the same as his father had if that had been the only way to have her.  

She is changing me so much... and I do not care.

“S-Sesshoumaru?”  she stuttered hesitantly, and he understood the question in her voice as it pulled him from his musings.

“No, koishii, not here.  Much as I desire you, this is not the time or place, though it is coming very soon,”  he promised in a silky voice that had her muscles clenching in reaction.  “I think that it would be best, however, for us to finish bathing ourselves – I cannot guarantee my control should we continue with this.  I had not... realized how much my need of you would be fed by such activities, nor how it would undermine my control.”

Nodding, blushing, but undeniably pleased that he did, indeed, seem to want her so desperately despite her less than perfect appearance, Kagome handed him the sponge and stepped back, hurriedly taking the shampoo and washing her own tresses, then dunking under to rinse.  She kept her eyes to herself as her male finished his own bath, just as aroused by him as he was by her.

Quickly scrubbing down, she rinsed, scurrying out of the water and wrapping herself in a towel as fast as she could.  Not wanting to stress his control any more than it already had been, she moved behind some bushes to redress, an ache deep inside at the unsatisfied need for his touch.  Kami... I hope he meant it when he said it would be soon.  I didn't know... that the need for him could make me ache so much inside...

Sesshoumaru took a little bit more time, but while she was dressing he strode out of the water and also began to redress, needing to get the temptation out of the way.  Her being dressed would calm some of it, but if he didn't have something covering himself, as well, he might just end up pulling her clothing right back off.

Pretty much finished dressing by the time Kagome stepped hesitantly back into the clearing, he decided not to put his armor back on, instead just hanging it over his shoulder as Kagome re-gathered their bathing things and then straightened up, looking at him with soft eyes.

He motioned for her to follow him back to camp, his mind on one thing and one thing only...

Getting her to groom him in his true form.  While definitely an intimate thing, shared only between spouses, it was an intimacy that would not undermine his control, and would therefore be much more comfortable an intimacy at this time.

But would she be willing?

As he reached his spot in the camp, he set his armor down and turned to look at his little female, trying to figure out how to go about requesting such a thing.  He was surprised, however, when she cleared her throat and looked up at him with a hopeful expression before he could say anything.

“Um... would it be okay if we tried... well, I mean, your mother told me about it, and I'd like to do it – but only if it wouldn't make you uncomfortable, you know, and-”  she broke off her disjointed rambling as he moved to her and took her chin in hand.

“Calm yourself, Kagome.  What is it you would ask of me?  You must know there is very little in this world I would not give or do for you.  Do not fear to ask.”

She inhaled deeply, then let it out slowly... gathering her courage, she asked,  “Could I... groom you in your true form?”  Her eyes pleaded with him to grant her desire, not knowing that he'd been hoping all the while that she would be willing to do such a thing.  “I mean, do you trust me enough t-”  his finger settling over her lips stopped her speech that time, and his stern expression almost had her worried for a moment... until he spoke.

“There is no one in this world I trust completely but you – and there never has been.  I would be greatly pleased if you would groom me in my true form.  I had wanted to ask if you would be willing to do such a thing, as I was uncertain you would be amenable to such a request,”  he said slowly, his expression softening at the relief in her eyes.

She tilted her head, a frown touching her brow.  “Why wouldn't I be willing to do that?”  she asked after he lifted his finger from her lips, aware of an undertone of... something in his voice that she didn't like.

He didn't answer at first, trying to figure out how to say it without upsetting her, but finally deciding there was no other way to say it but to come right out with it.

“Some would find it... disturbing,”  he said, veiling his eyes,  “and would not wish to be reminded of the truth of what I am.  I am not human, after all, as you are.”

Kagome frowned even deeper, upset that he would fear her reaction to his true form.  It bothered her that he would think that she was only with him because she had forgotten or set aside her knowledge of his true nature.

“Sesshoumaru, you are youkai.  Inu youkai.  I know this... and I'm not disturbed or bothered by it.  I love you as you are – if you weren't inuyoukai, you wouldn't be the same person you are – you wouldn't be Sesshoumaru.  And Sesshoumaru, in all his forms, is who I love,”  she said after a moment.  “Besides, your mind is what carries who you are, really, more than your form – and that mind stays the same whether you're wearing fur, or clothing.  Understand?”

His eyes carried an intensity that she had never seen in them before in that moment as he stared into her own as if trying to see if she really meant what she was saying – but in reality, he knew that she didn't say things if she didn't mean them, and so, with the heartwrenchingly beautiful smile that he almost never let anyone see, he accepted her words without any further questions.

“I am curious, though,”  she said, after forcing herself to function despite the affect his smile had on her,  “your true form is so... well, huge.  How would I be able to reach to really groom you?”

At that, he chuckled slightly and leaned down to press a gentle kiss to her sweet lips.  “I can control my size, Kagome.  If I can be a normal size in this form, do you not think I could also make my true form a more accessible size?”

Her eyes lit up and she clapped her hands together excitedly.  “Really?  I hadn't thought of that... of course, I only saw your true form that once... you know, when we first met,”  she said sheepishly, not wanting to bring up anything bad – such as their meeting so long ago, and ruin the night.

Mention of that brought a solemn look to the inuyoukai's eyes, and Kagome castigated herself inwardly for ruining the mood, just as she'd feared she would.

He said nothing for a moment as he moved over to Ah-Uhn's saddlebags and dug through them, and Kagome almost wanted to cringe at her tactless words.  

Sesshoumaru, well aware at her upset as her scent fluctuated, was not about to let her continue feeling that way.  “How much of that first meeting do you remember?”  he asked softly as he set aside something from inside the bag and then repacked it, not looking at her.

Startled, Kagome blinked, then blinked again as she thought about it.   “Well... most of it, really.  Why?”

The inuyoukai placed the special brush he had retrieved from the saddlebag in his sleeve, then turned around and met her confused gaze.  “I had not thought of that first meeting in a long time.  It is not something I am proud of.  And the thought of having taken your life and never having what we have together now... it... disturbed me when I did think of it, so that I subconsciously avoided thinking of that time again.  But... when you mentioned it a moment ago, all I could do was thank every kami that I know the name of that I failed.”  He looked faintly uncomfortable, then, and Kagome tilted her head, curious as to why he looked that way.

Her expression was so adorable that he continued, despite the fact that this was deeper into his emotions than he'd ever gone, even by himself.  To speak so openly of things was not his way, but he could do no less with this woman that would be by his side for eternity.

“If ever you doubt your importance to me, think to this moment when you reminded me of my actions when we met, and I... was so glad that I had failed to kill you that I was willing to thank Inuyasha for succeeding in protecting you.”

Nothing else that Sesshoumaru had ever said had touched her half so much – despite the fact that he was not the type to openly go around proclaiming his affections to all and sundry, or even just to her, at least verbally, he showed every day that he did, indeed, love her.  But this... for Sesshoumaru to actually want to thank his half-brother for anything was a miracle, and that it was for her sake, told her more than any 'I love you', that he loved her more than anything else – even his own pride.

She launched herself at him, and wrapping her arms around him, she gave him a brilliant, adoring smile.  “I love you, too, Sesshoumaru.  I always will... and I'm glad you didn't succeed in killing me, too – I would never have been able to know you and love you, and that thought really hurts.”

He lifted a hand and brushed it along her cheek gently, his eyes softening.  “I am also glad that you forgave me for my actions enough to give me a chance to know you.  At that time,”  he paused, eyes going far away for a moment,  “I was alone – and I was fine that way.  I did not miss not having companions – but of course, how can you miss what you have never had?  However... now, looking back, I shudder at that loneliness, and despise the thought of going back to such ways.  Now that I have had you, I could never give you up,”  he said simply, focusing on her again, and Kagome couldn't help but be amazed at how open he was being.  

Reciprocating his gesture, she brushed her hand against his cheek as well.  “I'm honored that you are telling me what's in your heart... because I know how hard this is for you.  So before you become too uncomfortable,”  she winked up at him impishly as she dropped her hand, trying to lighten the mood,  “why don't we move on and get to grooming you?”

Relieved that she understood him so well, he simply tilted his head in acknowledgment, then reached into his sleeve and handed her the brush, gesturing for her to move back so he could change into his true form once she'd taken it.  Difficult as that had been, however, in some ways he was glad he had allowed himself to open up to her so much – it had soothed that ever-present worry that Kagome buried deep that he would tire of her or leave her.  For the first time since she'd returned and they had begun courting, he did not sense that worry at all in her.

For that, it was worth opening himself up in such a way, and besides... he knew that he could trust her – Kagome would never betray his confidences or his emotions, keeping them buried deep in her heart where they would forever be safe.  As much as he protected her physically, she protected his heart quite fiercely in return... and it was something he was completely certain only she could do.

Kagome watched in awe as Sesshoumaru's eyes reddened and swirling winds surrounded him – she took a step back automatically and put her arm over her eyes as he became almost incandescent for several seconds...

And then he alighted before her in his true form – only this time, he was the size of a Great Dane, and much, much more manageable.

And cute...

She grinned, and went immediately for his ears.

~oOo~

Sesshoumaru let out a snort of amusement as she rubbed his ears, though he had to admit, it felt good.  She knew just how to do it, and the small, jealous thought that she'd learned it with Inuyasha made him want to bite the whelp's head off.  But he pushed that slight irritation back, and decided to simply enjoy what she was doing – Inuyasha didn't matter, since she belonged to him, and not that pup.

After a few minutes of  ear rubbing, Kagome sat back and smiled.  “I didn't even think about it before, but I'm glad you can control all that poison that was leaking from your mouth last time.  I wouldn't want to have another run-in with that stuff, that's for sure,”  she giggled.

Butting her under the chin with his cold nose, Sesshoumaru let out a little growl and Kagome had to laugh – it was so clear what he was saying, even in that form... “Stop making inane remarks and start grooming!”  Shaking her head, Kagome took the brush out of the little pocket she'd dropped it in, and told him to lie down so she could do as he'd asked, with an emphasis on the asked part.

Ignoring her little poke at his bossiness with a sort of grand indifference that Kagome was totally amused to note he could pull off just as well in this form as in his human one, he tilted his nose into the air and lay down, looking like nothing so much as a fluffy sphinx in that moment, and she had to choke back the desire to laugh at the mental picture.  He really hated any reference to his fur as fluffy, despising anything that could be called 'cute' about himself, and she didn't want to annoy him and mess up the evening.

Starting at the back of his head just behind his ears, she began brushing in long, slow strokes, enjoying the feel of his silky fur as she ran her empty hand behind the brush, smoothing the fur down.  

Before long, she was in as relaxed a state as he was.  “You know,”  she said drowsily as she moved down his back with the brush,  “your fur is so soft.  I could curl up against you and sleep for hours, perfectly content and warm.”

Sesshoumaru whuffed at her in agreement, the thought that he would most certainly enjoy that crossing his mind – though he decided that he would be his true size when they did, just for the fact that she could literally cuddle right into his fur and be completely covered if he was.  They could spend the whole night that way, because no other youkai would bother them with him in his true form... and neither would any humans.

Eyes drooping with drowsy contentment, Sesshoumaru began rumbling in his chest again, and Kagome smiled at the sound, knowing it meant she was pleasing him.  

Finally, after she'd brushed everything she could, she stopped and sighed, then moved around to lay a kiss on his cold nose.  “All done.  I really enjoyed doing that... but it certainly makes me sleepy,”  she said, blinking tiredly.

Sighing gustily, Sesshoumaru head butted her again gently, pushing against her to get her to move so he could change back, and she scooted away, suddenly just too weary to actually get up and move.  

Within moments, the fur was replaced by white silk and smooth skin, and Sesshoumaru bent down to pick his tired little miko up.  He couldn't help the small smile that quirked his lips as she blinked up at him, and he shook his head slightly as he moved her to her bedding and laid her down.

“Roll over, Kagome... let me return the favor,”  he said softly, affection for her rife in his voice, and she complied with a sleepy murmur that let him know that she would be out like a light within minutes.

“I shoulda told you to roll over,”  she mumbled into her blankets, and Sesshoumaru paused, wondering what she was thinking.  “I could have scratched your belly.  Might have enjoyed that.”

A wicked brow quirked at that as he lifted her top over her head and had her lay her head on it so that he had free access to her back.  It was a measure of her sleepiness that she didn't even blush at the fact that she was pretty much topless.  Large hands strangely gentle, he began as she had with him, at her neck, and began massaging her, deepening the force when coming to a knot in the muscle.

“I don't think you are ready for such a thing, Kagome,”  he said, laughter clear in his voice, and she frowned, though she didn't bother opening eyes that had drifted shut the moment he started stroking her skin.  

“What's that supposed to mean?”  she slurred out, and he knew she was almost asleep.

“Have your forgotten the anatomy of male inu, my sweet?  Fur is, after all, not clothing...”*  he trailed off, a mischievous note in his voice that instantly woke Kagome right back up as she realized exactly what he was saying.

She pushed up onto her elbows, the sleepiness temporarily pushed back as she turned her head and glared up at him in shock.  “You hentai!”  she gasped loudly, eyes widening as her mind provided her with a visual of what he had been suggesting.  And although she'd seen him completely nude earlier, not covered by clothing or fur, still... she blushed so hard all over that Sesshoumaru was tempted to throw her in some cold water just to see the steam from the heat of her skin hitting the water.

Instead, knowing that would not be appreciated and not wanting to mess up the evening any more than she did, he simply pressed on her shoulder with a chuckle and had her lay down again so he could continue the massage.  

“Calm down, Kagome.  I was simply teasing.  I am no hentai – or at least,”  he conceded at the look he got from her from the corner of her eye,  “I was not until I met you.  So it is all your fault, after all.  Take it as a compliment, sweet – you are the only female that has brought my desirous side forth.  It is just another thing that speaks to my affection for you.”

Touched, Kagome sighed and went limp again, not finding anything to argue with in that statement – or at least, nothing she wanted to argue with.  This night had been the best of her life, truly – and Satori had not been wrong about the effects of such seemingly little intimacies.  She was more than ready – if he decided to take her now, she wouldn't argue, though she knew now really wasn't the time.

“I'm glad we did this tonight,”  she yawned, her eyes drooping once more,  “and I hope we do this a lot.  It made me feel so good, and so close to you.  I love you, Sesshoumaru,”  she trailed off as her eyes gave up the fight and fell closed, his talented hands smoothing all tension from the muscles in her back and sending her into a deep sleep such as she hadn't had since she was a child.

When her breathing evened out, Sesshoumaru sat back and pulled her shirt back over her, and then pulled her covers up.  Gently smoothing a lock of hair away from her face, he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to her temple, and with a smile such as he would allow no one to ever see, he whispered,  “Aishiteru, my Kagome.  Aishiteru.”

And though she was sleeping, a tiny smile stretched her lips and a softly whispered, “Sesshoumaru,”  was heard, her voice filled with love.  

It made shivers run down his back and his heart beat faster.

One day... one day I will say it to you, my bijo...

One day.

I swear it.

~oOo~

A/N:  Asterisk*- Yes that was a poke at my humorous Sess/Kag Accidentally Funny – the very first chapter where she sees him in his true form and gets a good glimpse of his ~clears throat~ male equipment.  ~Turns on fan~

For those who would like to know, bijo means beautiful woman.  I got the translation from Denshi Jisho, an excellent online Japanese dictionary, basically – where you can get the words in kana or romaji, and it gives you examples in sentences and tells you whether the word is a noun or verb, etc, etc.  It also even gives you the kanji details -  a most excellent resource!

Amber

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