InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Winds ❯ Gift ( Chapter 16 )

Chapter 15

Gift

 

In the morning, Kaede pronounced Kohaku well enough to go outside, but in her sister there was still no change, no movement. She watched the wolf-youkai that did not move out of the corners of her eyes; after a while, Kaede brought Kouga tea and breakfast, but the tea gradually stopped steaming, and the food grew cold, and still he did not move. Kaede was not sure she had even seen him blink.

No one had missed the outburst between Kouga and Inuyasha the night before; no one spoke of it, but the knowledge it had brought them hung in the air. She could barely bring herself to believe it, and yet...the youkai sat beside her sister, and did not move.

Inuyasha had disappeared with Kagome in the early hours, just after dawn, and then had returned alone.

“Kagome?”

Sango questioned him idly, out of courtesy. If he was alone, and she was alone, Kagome could only be one place.

“Home. She wanted to see her mother, to tell her - about us.”

His eyes wandered to the corner, saw Kouga still sitting there in the same place, not moving, and stood up again, wandered outside.

“Sango, will you come with me? I wanted to ask you something.”

She raised an eyebrow at him, but followed complacently. Her eyes tracked Kohaku as soon as she stepped outside; he and Shippou were drawing in the dirt, exchanging stories. She heard a few words of Shippou's, and recognized the events in his tale - she had been told of the day Kagome and Inuyasha had found him, but never in Shippou's own words.

“Sango?”

“Huh? Oh - I'm coming, Inuyasha.”

He frowned a little, and then realigned his face. That inner voice, the Inu-voice, was louder again, and it spoke of death more freely and fiercely when Kagome was not with him. It was stronger, much stronger, when she was on the other side of the well.

Sango keeps watching Kohaku, though - all the time. As if she's afraid he might disappear.

And the Inu, darker, licking its lips:

Should disappear, should help that wolf - smell of an enemy! Kill the boy, kill him now...while its easy! Before...

Inuyasha shook the voice away, reached up and rubbed his ears even though he knew they were not the source of his problem. Sango was walking behind him, and she could not see those thoughts on his face; Sango, who was the reason that dangerous child still lived.

Not his fault though, that he's been made into a...a monster. He did not ask for all those things to happen to him.

The days when it had been easy to say that, easy to believe that the words had meaning, were growing dimmer and dimmer, falling further and further behind. Their quest was starting to seem desperate...or impossible.

We hunt and search and scour and walk the whole land, and finally, one of the rumors is true. We find Naraku, and we attack him - and then, just like that, he disappears! And then we begin again - four years, almost five now, and we aren't any closer to our goal.

He had been thinking, since the night he took Kagome - before that, since the moment he had watched Sango fall, and fall, and not get up. It had been the first time in so long that any of them besides him had been close to death - it had reminded him, abruptly, of their mortality.

All of us - and now, Sesshomaru comes, telling me that -

He stopped his thoughts, shook his head.

“Inuyasha?”
His eyes slid sideways. They were at the top of the hill overlooking the village's rice fields now, and looked back down at the village.

Far enough.

“Sango, what do you know about the Youkai Army?”

She looked at him with a startled expression.

“A little. My father used to tell me stories, terrible stories - why?”

His eyes wandered into the south.

“It is coming this way.”

“Coming - coming - here?”

There was a twitch, a palsy of fear in Sango's voice.

“Yes. Sesshomaru says so. He says - they want me to lead them.”

In the face of those words, Sango could not feel anything at all.

“What - are you going to do? Did you -”

“I don't know. I don't know anything about it, Sango, not anything.”

“Well...you should ask him, then.”
“Ask - Sesshomaru!”

Disbelieving, he turned to look her square in the face, but she only shrugged.

“What do you want me to say, Inuyasha? I can tell you what I know, if you want. My father said that in his father's day, there was a youkai army - and in the days of his father before him, and his father before that. They moved over land and through the sea and the air; beasts, youkai, mononoke, demons of forest and ocean and sky. They were uncountable, a dark wave to blot out even the promise of summer, and they came and went at the word of the Inu-no-Taisho, greatest of the Taiyoukai.”

Inuyasha's eyes widened.

“The - my - my otou-san? Then why do they want me, and not Sesshomaru? He's the elder brother, full demon - why don't they bother him, instead?”
Sango looked at him curiously.

“You don't want the army, you don't want to lead them? I don't think I like the thought of your brother in control of all that power, Inuyasha. I don't - like him. I wouldn't think you would want that either.”

She felt a little guilty saying it - after all, Sesshomaru had saved Kohaku - but he had not done it for her.

For Rin, whoever that is. The little girl, maybe? I've never seen anyone else with him. But it's more than that, more than him trying to kill Inuyasha, more than that he wants tetsusaiga; he's - he says I'm dying! Like I'm already dead...

More than that, it was the feeling she experienced when he said it that bothered her; heat, darkness - and then cold.

“You're probably right about that, Sango - but I don't know what to do with an army. I don't know how to lead them, I don't even know who they are. Sesshomaru said I killed so many, now I had to be the leader of them all.”

“And he's coming back?”
“In three days - two, now.”

Again, she shrugged, and then turned away and started walking back towards the village.

“So what are you going to do, Inuyasha?”

 

~-~

 

 

Very suddenly, without any transition at all, Kikyou took a deeper breath and knew that she was awake, now - not sleeping, the dreams, or visions, whatever they were, dissipated. Kouga was still beside her, looking out the window at the trees and the sunlight and hoping. Her eyes opened, wide, startled, a liquid brown that he had not seen in her before, and she stared at him for all the world as if she did not know him.

“Are you afraid, Kikyou? Do you not remember me?”

Very slowly, her lips parted.

“Kouga - yes, I remember you. But you - you cannot help me. I cannot…”

Her eyes closed; her breaths were faster now, and heavy. He could feel her body moving with the strength of it. What was it he could do to help her? It was souls she needed, souls that were not just to be found for him to pluck out of the floating air. As though sensing his thoughts, her eyes flickered, sought focus on his own darting pupils.

“If you want me, Kouga, you will have to save me. Do not think to search for the soul of a maiden. The maiden within me rejects them and the evil of that way. I should have done that...a long time ago.”

She paused for a long time. He measured her breathing with his eyes, and came close to shaking her again, his fingers tight on her shoulders.

“All souls are supposed to want rest, but the life inside me - it begs for more life. What will you give, wolf, for the wanting of me?”

“Kikyou-”

He was willing - quite willing, if he understood her asking, but how did she expect him to provide? Was it not only Kagome, by virtue of that deeper bond between them, who could help Kikyou now?

"But Kagome - I thought that she -"

"No, Wolf. Not any more, not if she is going to keep her own life."

He was momentarily stricken, but then again...

After all, something I never needed before, never noticed, I doubt I'll miss. If I even have one - a soul.

He bent forward, and brushed her lips with the gentlest kiss he had given her. Her tongue touched him, beat upon the electricity in his blood, and - he felt something rising in him, breaking itself apart and lifting itself towards her. Something invisible, something dark and secret, was coming awake.

He had felt such a tug before, like an amplified touch of that black, glittering object - before Naraku's power had focused on Kikyou.

So, I do have a soul. Interesting.

It rose in him, a thick and liquid redness now, and he felt the passage of his strength, the firmness of his interior wellspring, furnishing the spirit that lagged inside her. New, strong roots twined around the tree that Kagome had planted, uplifting.

Where the thickness dissipated, Kouga felt black emptiness reaching out toward him, an edge of soul beyond which there lurked far darker dreams than he desired.

Is she...killing me?

But just as that thought came to him, just as he felt himself putting one foot on the slippery edge, she dropped back away from him, down onto the bed, and as she did so the darkness receded; he stepped away from that high, dark ledge. His heart was pounding; he felt lightheaded, as if there were too little blood in his body, and deep breaths did not help the swell of dizziness.

Kouga saw her blinking, slowly, steadily, and there was life in those brown eyes; her shoulders, under his hands, were warm, like she felt after he loved her. He smiled, like a drunken man, and toppled over onto her lap.

“Wolf, you gave me too much - too much of yourself, but I cannot give it back, now. You will have to sleep, now - sleep...”

Kikyou could not do much more than murmur the words, very low, but Kouga heard them as he was passing into unconsciousness; they formed the beginnings of his dreams, that spread and flowered across the distant past and the future that was soon to be. Beside him, Kikyou lay still, just breathing, utterly confused. The words had come out of her so easily when she had woken; as if they had always been there, as if this Wolf had always been there - both of them, just waiting for her to ask.

But that is impossible.

What was happening to her? What was this place, this world she lived in?

I don't think...I ever knew it at all.

She turned her head just a little, and looked at leaves in the sunlight through the blowing curtain, smelled the summer heat on the breeze. She felt, just the tiniest bit, as if life might be worth trying again, and with it came a sudden, exuberant warmth towards the Wolf; Kouga, who had given her this gift...and the girl.

I was wrong to wish her ill, to be - jealous. I have had what she has, if I had not been - if I had not been such a fool.

"Kouga, I was a fool. Did you know that, Kouga?"

His ears twitched; she lay one hand on his head and smiled, amused to think that her words might become part of his dreams. And what did he think about her - what did he want from her - really?

 

It was Kaede who was first to come inside, and find them.

"So, he is finally sleeping and you are awake, Kikyou."

"Yes. Thank for your care."

There was a stiff silence between them; Kikyou remembered only too well the last time she had been in this room, the words that had passed between them.

That was wrong too, and I knew it then. I could have been helping, all this time, I should have been helping!

But she took a long slow breath as she thought this thought, because the feeling that was welling up in her, the passionate anger at the thought, duty, was a hot, sick feeling. She had given up her whole life - her whole life - to duty; but once was not enough? Or was there something else, something that could make it worthwhile, taking on that burden again.

Her eyes jerked, without will behind them - to her hand, on Kouga's cheek - to her sister, standing uncomfortable, awkward and silent in her own house. To the window, and the green glow of light.

"Kaede - little sister, tell me about your life, since we were parted. All those years, when you were alone; tell me about them."

Kaede took an involuntary step forward, and then controlled herself.

"You - want me to tell you -"

"We have to start over, Kaede. Isn't that the best way for me to know you now? The last time...the last time I saw you, you were still a little girl."

Kaede took another step, and then stopped. A little girl? Yes; there had been days like that, days she could barely remember now, and days that were clearer sometimes than yesterday.

"Those stories are better saved for some time when we are alone...nee-san."

Kikyou's eyes drifted back down to Kouga, but she smiled.

“That's all right, as long as you promise you'll share.”
“Yes. But...you've changed, Kikyou. And what - Inuyasha and this...Kouga say, it is true?”

Kikyou flushed; Kaede's, eyes went wide with surprise. Was that even possible?

“It - it is true. At first, I was distraught, but - “

She swallowed and turned her face out of Kaede's view. Delicately, Kaede dropped the subject and walked over to the hearth, stirred up the fire.

“You have come to us in the mist of trouble, nee-san. One of us is missing, our Houshi Miroku. He appears to have gone off on a rather foolhardy mission alone, but he is beyond finding now.”

“Even for Inuyasha?”

“Inuyasha would not leave Kagome behind until she begged him to go - for Sango's sake, you see. It was too late then. Sango was another worry, but she seems better now.”

“Better?”

“She was burned by a youkai in the shape of a dragon with great lightning power; it came with a storm, they said, and the rain came first. Inuyasha and Kagome killed it, but Sango was wounded as she showed them where to aim.”

“Ahh...I see. The woman on the fire-cat. But better now, you say. That is good. Kaede, I do not want to be rude, but I think I must sleep again."

“Don't worry, don't worry; you think I have not learned how to be quiet by now?”

The old woman was smiling, but Kikyou was already asleep.

 

Miroku continued to travel south, and the green jungle-tangle began to be interspersed with slim forests of tall bamboo. The farther south he went, the wider the patches became; they were easier to walk through than the mats of leaves and vines, and the breeze moved more freely through the open spaces - but it was difficult to keep track of his direction when he could not see the sun. Among the bamboos one direction seemed as good as another, and there were no landmarks; everything looked the same. For two days he wandered in circles, while hard, sharp rain beat down on him from heavy skies; the third morning, he tracked his path carefully and began to make his way south again, wringing out his wet robes as he walked.

The showers fell regularly, and he could taste the beginning of the wet season in them, as they passed into the hottest days of summer, and through them, and out the other side. His third night among the bamboos, he stopped in a sheltered grove among new shoots, not yet as tall as their older siblings, and tried vainly to light a fire in the wet brush.

I should have brought some of Kagome's fire lighters with me, the little red-tipped sticks. They work in the rain, but this...

He eyed his wet tinder and shook his head despairingly.

Another wet night. I wonder what the others are doing right now? I bet Kagome and Inuyasha -

He grinned a wide, lecherous grin, and snickered to himself. It had taken them long enough - was it five years now, since he had joined with them?

I'm surprised I'm still alive. I owe them that, I suppose. And since we found Sango -

Miroku cut off his own thoughts and leaned back a little father into the shadow of the wide, flat leaf that was guarding him from the rain. It was dangerous to think about Sango, especially in the here-and-now. He kept seeing her in his thoughts as she had been when he left her; the fever-flush in her skin, the bandages with their dark stains, her occasional shifts and moans of pain.

She has not been hurt like that since Naraku made her play games with Inuyasha. Its been...how many days? Would she be better by now?

There was no way she would find him, and he was grateful for that, but he felt a momentary tickle of weakness in his own desire that she might - after all, Inuyasha could move much faster than he himself could, and...

No. It is wrong to want it, anyway. The chances are I will never see any of them again. At least Kouga will have delivered my message by now. If she is awake, if - if she is alive, she will get it.

He rolled himself into a tight cocoon of robes, and closed his eyes. Despite the rain, he was tired from the long walk, and the loneliness. It did not take him long to fall asleep. The sounds of the rain, the endless drip from sky to leaf to forest-floor, infiltrated his dreams and became the sound of storm, the rain driven onward by invisible winds.

When he woke in the morning, the sky was finally clear, bright with yellow sun, and he picked himself up and rubbed his fingers through his hair so that it stuck up in all directions.

"Well, south again, I guess. But I thought Kagura said there was a village around here somewhere?"

He was talking to himself again, but it no longer seemed as strange. That in itself said something, and he shook his head at his own eccentricity.

"Be talking to the trees, next."

Miroku yawned and rubbed his eyes, then turned to pick up his bag and robe, hanging off a nearby tree in the vain hope that they might dry a little. There was a faint trickle at the bottom of the low hill he had chosen to sleep on, and he walked down to the bottom and drank his fill before he continued on, munching a ball of rice.

Not too much rice left, and I could use some dried meat, maybe some greens....where is that village?

He was in the shallow valley between the hills, and the growth was thinner there.

Encouraging, I suppose. Those mountains in the distance...I wonder how close they are?

Carefully, irritated at thorny patches that were invisible until he was in them, Miroku climbed his way up the side of the hill at the opposite side of the valley and reached the top relatively quickly. He picked a few thorns out of one arm and turned slowly, looking out over the landscape that was revealed to him by the height; almost immediately he was blinded by a gust of wind that tossed ashes in his eyes and set him coughing.

A fire! What -

The wind passed, its direction shifted, and he could finally see around him. At the base of the hill and slightly west of it, a column of smoke was rising from among thatched roofs, licked with flame. He was too far away to see much else, and he held his sleeve across his face as the wind turned back in his direction. It was a smell he knew; he had encountered it before.

"That village!..."

Without a second thought, he ran down the hillside toward the village, trying to judge the distance, how long it would take him to get there. His feet sped across the uneven ground; he held his staff tightly in his right hand and did not notice his fingers, their compulsive squeeze. When he judged that he had crossed almost three-quarters of the distance from where he had started, he began to hear noises, screams - and there was a dark tingle on his other senses, the burn of youki.

Youkai! What was it Kagura said?”

The memory of her words came to him in a black rush; he felt a shiver flee down his spine.

“...the Lynx do not bother them, but other demons enjoy the flavor of human flesh too much...”