InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Without Looking Back ❯ An Empty Touch ( Chapter 3 )

An Empty Touch

 

After a morning of reflection, the hanyou boy finally figured out why he felt dirty about his dream the night before. Even though it was not real, in his mind he had done something he had no right to do. He had no right to touch his goddess, especially not on her breast. He blushed at the memory. And he certainly had no right to taste her, to assault her tender flesh with his vile tongue and filthy mouth. She was so pure, so innocent, and he was a monster, his body and soul irreparably tainted. He almost felt as if he had raped her, though she had been more than willing in his dream. His mind had crafted her acquiescence; he was sure she would not be so agreeable to his touch if he approached her in person.

 

The sun was high in the sky when he spied his goddess emerging from the trees at the other end of the meadow. His relief was doubly intense today; his mind had been entertaining the irrational idea that she had somehow witnessed his dream and decided to never return to their meadow again. He was ecstatic to see her, as breathtaking as ever, appearing as if nothing had changed. As he watched her, a single persistent thought continually pressed against his consciousness, refusing to be ignored.

 

Would it really be so bad if he touched her? Just a simple touch, barely anything at all? He desperately wanted to; he felt that a single iota of physical contact would make him the happiest hanyou in the world. After spending much of the afternoon gathering his courage, he quietly made his way around the meadow to the path his goddess would take to return home, concealing himself in a thicket. His heart thundered wildly in his chest when she stood and made her way toward him, and he feared it would give him away. But she did not show any sign of being aware of him as she closed the distance, passing within mere feet of his position. At the last moment he reached out and placed a single clawed finger under her hair, allowing it to flow along the digit as she walked past.

 

She spun quickly, seeming to know that the sensation had not been a tree branch catching her hair. The hanyou boy hid behind a large tree trunk, praying to all the Kami that she would not investigate. After what seemed an eternity of waiting, her footsteps resumed, falling in rapid succession as she hurried along her way. He didn't know if she had seen him.

 

Far more worrisome than his potential discovery was how his actions made him feel. He had finally touched her, and he was supposed to be overjoyed, right? He was supposed to smile and swear never to wash that finger again. Yet, his emotions were dark and frightening. He went away, brooding silently.