InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Wooden Nickels ❯ Hateful Knowledge ( Chapter 4 )

Wooden Nickels
Chapter 4: Hateful Knowledge


A dreadful darkness closes in
On my bewildered mind;
--Anne Bronte

One found it hard not to be aware that one was greatly disliked. And if, indeed, there was ever a time that she had felt less liked it was in her present situation. Her kidnapper, as could be assumed, took no interest in her beyond the short commands he had been giving her since they left the truck; reprimanding at each moment she would try to dodge. There was little to be felt towards someone who knocked you out, took you from your dear home, and then proceeded to drag you around by the wrist; out of the parking lot and into a dingy subway filled with characters that were only as trustworthy as himself.

After the doors had been shut, to her surprise, her wrist had been freed and he had walked over and took up a seat for himself. Not another glance was extended to her as he crossed his arm, covered in that same deep red as the blanket he held; and closed his eyes as that cold look of indifference took over the contours of his face. Her first feeling was to seek aid. Bounding to the first passenger she saw, Kagome had pleaded her case with such emotion from having to relate it that the declaration brought her to tears. But, as heart felt as this was to her, it was just that much utterly irrelevant for the man she was speaking with.

Twenty minutes later and she had already reached the end of her possible saviors, sitting beside a woman who was falling asleep from the girl's very words.

"If I could just have a phone" she pleaded "I realize now that I'm rather wrong in intruding my problems upon you all but if I can only have someone's cell phone--"

Just as the other words that had been pushed to the riders' ears, they fell flat against the metal cage of the subway car. Alone, more than physically, Kagome stood in the aisle with tears in her sleep-ridden eyes and a shake to her thoroughly exhausted body and soul. She managed enough of her strength to slink back over to her captor's side, a seat away from him, and collapse in tears.

She felt the blanket fall upon her shoulders as had been the case in the past, this time not making an effort or making herself care enough to push it away. There was a pleasant warmness about the blanket, aside from that, that gave her another horrid feeling that this was to be her only comfort before she was killed.

"They care less about themselves than they do about you" he spoke at last, as her sobs quieted

He was cruel. Vulgar and heartless, only around to give her false hopes of escape so that he could slap her entrapment ten times harder across her face when she realized his actions. So badly did she want to slap him again, so deep was her hate of this man and his inconceivable indifference up until this point and still going, that for the first time in her life she wanted to cause someone else pain.

This thought didn't give her any pleasure, made her want to cry out again for this need of revenge. Kagome wouldn't sink to a level such as his; that would ultimately be playing the game at his rules.

"You are cruel" she said, after a few minutes consideration "You free me only to have me kidnapped all over. You save me from one dread only so you can give me a horror ten times worse. I would say you sicken me but I have said it too much already and the subject itself is making me sick. I'd rather not speak of you--tell me of Kouga. If I can open my mind to believe that he has done you wrong there may be some justification in my kidnapping"

"There isn't"

She shot him a deadly look "You don't even want me to try to understand"

"There's no such thing as trying--You either do or you don't. And seeing as you aren't going to believe me either way, we might as well save both our breaths"

"Do or don't?" she repeated harshly "That's elementary. That's like a child saying you either lose or you win when an adult would know there could be underlying facts that prevent or aid the outcome of place. Although it seems to me I should be closing my mind as you neither deserve nor have a right to my better judgment, I like to give everyone equal chance for justice. So please, don't throw your childish ideals on me. It sickens me and tells me nothing more than that you have a narrow mind worth not believing. And as I'd rather hear you out and judge without prejudice, I'd prefer that you don't spit out such conjunctions that do you no merit"

As she spoke these words the one who had called himself Inuyasha slowly opened his eyes; by the time she was done, he was looking upon her with his intense violet stare. His eyes grew wide as her lips pressed to end her statement, his body turned slightly as she stared back at him unflinchingly. To a time that for her seemed like hours, was over by the appearance of a slight smile. He turned to stare ahead of him, as if regretting that she should have seen it, and slouched back a bit in his seat.

"I think I know why Kouga likes you" he said after another brief smile "Because he doesn't know you"

"He knows me better than you" she snapped "And don't think for a second that you can just change th--"

"Oh, I doubt that. All he sees if a pretty face. All he hears is pretty words"

"You call my lashes at you pretty, now?" she bristled "Not only that but--I already told you that my relationship with Kouga is no business of yours"

"So it isn't"

"Exactly. So keep your nose out of my affairs"

"Ah! But the less they have to do with me, the more important they are. And, seeing as you and him being engaged is the thing that brought you here it's a bit of my right. I mean, if you were to say you weren't I might as well just let you go"

Her heart jumped up at these words, so many different emotions going into play. To lie and say she wasn't engaged was her key to freedom? To denounce an engagement that she felt was--not as solid.....as it had yet to be...? She opened her mouth to these thought, but pressed her lips back together just as quickly. He was teasing her again. He only wanted amusement for himself in the form of her pains. Did he wish to know how much she was willing to sacrifice in order to be freed? His tricks were more cruel than she had thought.

She hated him. Hated him more passionately than ever. It was not only this and the knowledge that he was the reason for her unhappiness that formed this deep unlike but things in between, events that had taken place only between the space of the apartment and now. By the time he had pulled her out of the truck, the latter being left double parked in a handicapped lane; Kagome pieced together that the car was not his own. The fiddling in the hood was not for his own benefit and the rough way he treated the passenger door was not from the shifty structure. He had hotwired and stolen the vehicle, leaving it to be ticketed and towed at the owners expense.

Even the train ride that they were "enjoying" was tainted. The money he used couldn't possibly be real. Who'd hire him? She was sure the coins he pushed in the slot weren't the reward of hard honest work.

With a sharp tongue and an open hand she said "Can I have a quarter?"

He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye "There’s no phone booth 'round here"

"Just give me a quarter" she snapped, before hesitantly adding "Please"

He surrendered one. She gasped. He released a sigh and closed his eyes.

"You--you jerk! This isn't real! This is wood!" She shouted "Just who do you think you are?! You might as well go ahead and steal money if you're going to counterfeit--poorly! Why not get a job and earn money the honest way?!"

"That's legal down here, stupid. You can't carry 'round real money where we're going" He took the coin back, shoving it in his pocket "And since you bring it up, I might as well tell you that's where we're going"

"You work underground?" she questioned bitterly "What? Are you a gravedigger?"

The dark smile, having so much contrast from his earlier smile, gave her a shock of fear "You could say that"

There was something in his purple eyes just then that gave her a better reason to be afraid of him than to hate him. This feeling of dread was carried with her as her wrist was once again taken up by him, as the two departed from the subway car and into a tunnel filled in darkness. Her first reaction was to freeze up. Her limbs stood unmoving and her heart beat increased, only rising when she felt another body brush past her. That empty feeling that went along with crying too much overcame her, leaving her to stand there feeling blind, dumb, and numb to everything around her.

Her wrist was given a gentle tug, much more gentle than any coax before "Come on. It's lighter once we get up. Just hold on to my arm"

If the words were not awkwardly given, they were at very least immensely received that way. Poor Kagome didn't know what to think, and when a thought began it was only to stop short of anything useful or comforting. The gentle tone of his voice was no comfort, to be sure. How could it be when the only time he gave her light was to have it covered in darkness?

Her delayed response to his words was a sad shake of the head as her free hand rose up from it's resting place to cover her eyes. She tried turning her body away from his only to have the feeling of another body brushing past her side to force her back. She was too weak to pull away, too weak to retort, and found no triumph in the thought of lashing out at him for his evil games. Her best option was to sink down to the ground and cry so loud that someone had to hear her....if only she could cry!

The hand used to cover her eyes was taken from it's job and laid to rest against his arm. She instinctively pulled it off, as if it scorched her very being to be touching him in such an intimate way; though quickly, quiet unconsciously, grabbed hold of the thick fabric as he started moving forward. To find her only comfort in a man she hated, to have to trust a man who by all means should be labeled as untrustworthy--such were the thoughts going through her head as she clenched his arm and followed his stride, heeding his call of watching her step as they reached a staircase or a bump as they passed one in the ground.


The fleet ended, her hold dropped, and her vision returned. Together they traveled in silence down crowded streets, packed with people who she wished to call out for. But not one looked a careful eye upon her. There was no curiosity in a single spare glance that she, a young girl was be pulled by the wrist of a man who had to be at least five years her senior. Age probably wasn't the problem but what of appearances? How could everyone look blindly upon the rip in her dress, the dirt on her face, or the bags under her eyes?

It dawned upon her, gnawed at her stomach, and made her release a sob that finally caught her captor's attention. They were like him. His friends, his comrades, his--people. No one looked because they probably were doing the same thing every other day. No one was going to help her because no one cared for her. He had control, he had the power of this game and she had nothing.

"You should have slept when you had the chance" was his rather stale statement to her distress

"I'm not tired" she snapped. Her footsteps had eventually lead her to fall in step beside his, a notion that disgusted her but gave her no feeling to change her position for the moment "And you can think otherwise if you think I'll fall asleep. You just want me to close my eyes so you can kill me and have a way with my body. That's what you people like, isn't it? Easy murders?"

His countenance twitched from the entirety of this remark and she was glad of it.

After a moment "I won't kill you"

She laughed outright "How stupid do you think I am?! Think what you will, Inuyasha. You can't fool me anymore than you have"

"The only thing being fooled here is you and your damned stubborn mind" he rejoined "And I have nothing to do with it. You call me childish? Take a look at yourself once and awhile, princess"

"Don't call me that--don't call me anything for that matter. In fact, don't talk to me. Your voice only irritates me and reminds me how much I hate you"

"You say that like I care"

"You're still talking"

"I can damned well talk when I want"

"Sure. Just keep the conversation to yourself"

"You're one damned stubborn bitch, you know that?" he said angrily "I don't see why Kouga even thought he could marry you"

She stopped, forcing him to a stop too. The people continued around them, some shoving them and cursing in their turn, but the two stood regardless of this; face to face, eye on eye. The passersby and their shoving brought Kagome unintentionally closer to him but neither made a move to back up their stare, neither backed down. At last, the same hand from before was raised and prepared. It reached out to a cheek only to be caught in the process.

He held her wrist tight, pressing it against his chest to keep her still; an action that only deepened her unrest. Struggling and angry Kagome was pulled into a darkly lit restaurant and pressed to sit on a stool facing the counter. He leaned down, close to her face, and tried to clam her with impertinent words only to have them flung back into his face as insults. At last he released her wrist with a growl and she sprung up. He collapsed to a sit and ordered a drink and she ran over to the first person she saw.

The train scene was repeated. The deaf ear had turned upon her, and the one's owning them were more cruel than before. A group of girls laughed at her, a boy threw something at her, and a man in the company of ten or so empty bottles tried for a grab at her. Her dodge was close, her pain was immense. With wet eyes she forced herself back to Inuyasha's side and half punched, half nudged him on the shoulder.

"Are you happy?" she cried, tears pouring down her cheeks "Are you happy now that I'm in tears? That your friends are mocking me? That I've mocked myself? Are you satisfied that you're ruining--everything! You and you're friends are ruining everything! And what do you do? You just sit there. Yes, sit there and smile Inuyasha because you think you know that no matter how much I'll continue to try--yes, try! And yes, continue!--you're winning. I don't know what consolation you can receive in trying to break a person but I'm sure it's nothing great. May God have mercy on you and anyone like you"

To this she only received four words in such a tone that kept her standing in her place for a time "They aren't my friends"

Taking a step around, Kagome became aware of the space he had to him. No one sat at the bar with him. No one sat at the table with him. The bartender slid a drink to him from the opposite end, he slid his wooden coins in return.

The little tavern became suddenly silent to her ears as she looked about this odd scene, her eyes resting on his back for sometime before taking a seat at his side. He didn't look at her, though she really looked at him for the first time and saw--nothing. Nothing so different, nothing so vulgar that could make a whole place accommodate to avoid his near presence. She knew him to be cruel to her, but so were these people!

She sat there for a long time staring at his profile as he drank and dutifully avoided giving her the attention she desired. Her eyes traced over his jaw, to his cheekbones, to his nose. From his startling purple eyes to his thick black hair and dirty dress, there was not a thing that she could find to make them shift. A thought came over her and she slid her stool back. Perhaps they moved because he was dangerous, so much in fact that he was best to be avoided.

His tone though--the one he used to admit the reality of the room made her unable to believe this. Yet still unable to not believe it. The only thing it made her safely believes that he was complex in his motives, thoughts, and person. And too complex for her poor weary mind to try to untangle in that moment. Dejected and tired, she let her head drop to the counter.

"If you listen to me, I can take you home"

She turned her head away from his direction, letting the tears fall from the continuation of his game.

"Just...just, you need to stop crying all the time...."

This murmur of words affected her somewhat and struck her deeply, but not so much as to give him her attention.

"I can take you back home" he repeated hardly "As long as you don't go back to Kouga"

At this, she raised her head "You wouldn’t know either way"

He seemed to have disregarded her words "Kouga is no good and only as bad as you think I am--"

"Know" she corrected "I know you're bad"

"If I told you what kind of guy he was you wouldn’t believe me--"

"You say that like you're surprised...."

"And yet you keep asking how him and you are connected with this mess" he snapped, taking up a different tone "Make up your fuckin’ mind"

Kagome was human enough to see that she was hypocritical, but was also annoyed enough to realize she didn't care to hear Kouga's name mentioned with reference to her. This Inuyasha guy was not dangerous. He was complex, cruel, and easy to hate but he wasn't making an attempt, even in her struggling, to harm her body. The soul and mind, sure, but nothing physical. This notion passed through her mind as unwelcome as any other thought had previously done to grant him merit.

He said he wouldn't kill her. He said Kouga was bad. He said Kouga was opposite to what she believed him to be.....

What exactly did she believe him to be in the first place?

Her blue eyes fell from his face and rested to her pale hands that lay upon her torn green silk. Her ring seemed to be the only thing that glowed in the dark room--even her gown had lost it's sparkle. The band seemed to her immortal in that moment, something that she didn't belong to and that certainly didn't belong to her. When she raised her eyes at last, Kagome found him looking thoughtfully at her.

She smiled pitifully in return "He's one of you then"

It wasn't a question, it was a statement that ended their conversation. As they left the building Kagome noticed the people moving back to their original spots before Inuyasha's appearance. She also noticed a mummer passing through the area that began and ended in her direction.

"Poor girl...." was the last thing she caught and the only sympathy she received before the door closed behind them.