InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Words with My Uncle ❯ Ill ( Chapter 4 )

-Chapter Four-

-Ill-

 

“And I would have stayed up with you all night,

Had I known how to save a life.”

-The Fray, “How to Save a Life”

 

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My uncle and his friends - which I came to realize were really his unconventional family - did not come by often. They had their own lives to be getting on with. Miroku and Sango were having children every two years or so, and Aunt Kagome was always taking trips to her home in the future (I would learn about that later) so that her mother could interact with her grandchildren. After Kyuichi came Miyami, who in my opinion is a much more suitable cousin than her loud and obnoxious brother.

 

In any case, I was always grateful and excited when they would visit me, most particularly when Aunt Kagome had a gift in hand. At first, I was just happy for the change of company - it was fun to have children my own age around. But as I grew older, the reason for my gratitude shifted. You see, I've come to another part of the story that I find rather hard to tell. Please bear with me, I will do my best. But it's never a comfortable thing, talking about how my mother passed away…

 

OooOooOooOooO

 

Crash.

 

The blow resounded like thunder in his pointed ears. Kotaromaru's vision swam; he felt his head spinning and didn't know how to stop it. Instinctively he dropped his halberd to clutch at his temples. The weapon, called Danryokusei, nearly as tall as him and almost as wide, clattered heavily onto the ground, and the sound was followed by the deep voice of Nagushoka, the enormous bear youkai whom was the cause of all the pain blossoming throughout the tai-youkai's brain.

 

“No, no, no! How many times do I have to say it for you to understand? Never lower your sword! You left yourself completely undefended. What's more, how are you going to win in battle if you can't even take a weak hit like that?” Nagushoka trudged forward, stopping a foot away from where the nine year old Kotaromaru was still rubbing his head. Over his shoulder, the giant axe he used as a weapon glinted evilly in the late afternoon sun. “Hmmph,” the older youkai grunted, in response to Kotaromaru's pained moan. “How pathetic.” He practically spat the last word before turning on his large heel and starting in the opposite direction. “We're finished for today,” called Nagushoka over his shoulder. “We'll pick up where we left off when you find some guts.”

 

The inu-youkai child sat on the ground, sniffling miserably, wondering why it was he could never seem to please his trainer when it came to dueling. Oh, sure - he could perform hand-to-hand combat perfectly fine. He was quick, light, and agile, and those things gave him the upper hand against Nagushoka, who was strong but moved sluggishly.

 

But with a sword in hand… He was nearly useless. He fingered the growing lump on his head gently, since it was still throbbing. It would be gone by tomorrow morning at the latest, he was sure. Even so, it hurt now.

 

His lack of skill made no sense to Kotaromaru; every advisor, guard, and servant he met in the castle told him of his father's great prowess with his sword, the Tokijin. All those youkai expected him to become great like Lord Sesshomaru. It was in his blood, they said, as real as the yellow of his irises. What would they think when they discovered he had no talent for such things at all? What would his mother say? Would Minami be disappointed with him, her only son? Would Uncle be disappointed in him?

 

The thought alone was too much to even consider, so Kotaromaru hauled himself to his feet and strapped the Danryokusei to his back. He took off at a quick jog towards the dojo, hoping that Nagushoka had gone there. But when he arrived the bear was nowhere to be found, and his axe had been stored safely in the weapons shed. Sighing, the tai-youkai realized he would probably have to wait until tomorrow to practice again.

 

After putting his halberd in its proper place in the shed, he headed back in the direction of the main house, counting on his fingers the number of days until his tenth birthday.

 

“Thirteen… Twenty-seven… Thirty-three.”

 

Thirty-three days. One cycle of the moon, and a little left over. That wasn't very much time, he worried. But still, if that was all he had, he would make the best of it. In his head he vowed that by the next time his uncle, aunt, and cousins came to visit him, he would be the best swordsman any of them had ever seen.

 

OooOooOooOooO

 

But his uncle's family never came that day, just over one month later. Instead, as the sun was setting on the tenth celebration of his birth, and right about the time that Kotaromaru was holed up in his bedroom and beginning to think they had forgotten about him, a letter came with his name on it.

 

The writing was Aunt Kagome's - he could recognize it anywhere - and inside it said:

 

`Dear Kotaromaru,

 

I hope this makes it to you on time, sweetie. First of all, happy birthday! Ten is an important number, you know. You're going to be a big man, soon. Everyone here sends all their best wishes to you - Uncle Inuyasha, Kyuichi, Miyami, Shippo, Sango, Miroku, Sachiko, Yoshio, Tsune, and even little Shintaro!

 

Secondly, we're all so, so sorry that we couldn't make it to be with you today. We wanted to, so badly, but some things have come up, and your uncle and I have to go visit my mama. She's very, very sick, and we don't know if she'll get better-

 

Kotaromaru noticed that here the letters on the paper became blurred, as though someone had dripped water on them.

 

-but we really hope she will. Anyway, I hope all your birthday wishes came true, sweetheart. I'll write to you again soon.

 

My love, and everyone else's,

Aunt Kagome'

 

Rolled up inside the letter was a dried flower with a ribbon attached to its stem that said, Love, Miyami, and a drawing that looked as though three-year-old Shintaro might have made it. The items weren't much, but they and the sentiments from his aunt were enough to erase all his earlier upset. The only thing still bothering him was the fact that it appeared as though Kagome had been crying when she wrote to him, and Kotaromaru hated to see her sad, although he thought he knew why she might be. If her mother was sick, and unable to be cured… Well, he knew how he would feel if his mother died. Minami was practically his whole world; losing her was simply unthinkable.

 

As he was trying to identify the type of flower his cousin had sent, a knock on the door interrupted him.

 

“My Lord?” It was Ujitama, the very, very, very old rat youkai that fancied himself Kotaromaru's chief advisor. Kotaromaru didn't like him very much; he had a croaky, nasally voice that instantly gave his identity away whenever he spoke, and a long, pointy nose that was full of long white hairs, the same color as the rest of the whispy stuff falling about his wrinkled old head. The boy was very loathe to admit the man into his room, but thought of the trouble it would cause later and decided to just get on with it.

 

“Come in,” he called, standing up.

 

The door slid back and Ujitama stepped inside. Kotaromaru noted that he looked particularly frail this evening, but appearances were deceiving.

 

“My Lord, did you forget?” the rat youkai asked by way of greeting, waving about his thin, bony hands as he did so. His pale gray eyes held that awful glint in them that Kotaromaru knew to mean he had indeed let something important slip his mind.

 

Fishing for the right words to say to make it seem otherwise, however, all he could come up with was, “Ahm…”

 

Ujitama smiled. It was a polite smile that showed just the right amount of yellowed teeth to be appropriate. It meant that Ujitama felt superior and was about to wave it in the young youkai's face. “Did you feel it would be acceptable for you to skip your lessons on your birthday, young Master?” he asked.

 

`Oh, no,' Kotaromaru thought. His lessons. Of course, they had seemed so insignificant next to the dreadful absence of his aunt and uncle on such an important day. But even his mother stressed the necessity of his education, and he knew that no excuse would be passable for Ujitama.

 

So instead of trying to get out of the inevitable punishment he was sure would come, Kotaromaru bowed his head in apology and said, “I'm sorry, sir.”

 

That irritating smile just widened. But the rat youkai's voice was stern and condescending when he replied, “'Sorry' will not get your lines done, will it? Fetch your things now and we shall have the lesson here.”

 

Kotaromaru did as he was asked, all the while cursing the old advisor - Ujitama would never have dared order him around were Minami present, nor would the tai-youkai have allowed such demeaning treatment of himself if it wasn't for the fact that he and Ujitama were alone. The rat was well known for possessing and carrying several extremely deadly poisons around in his flowing robes. It was rumored that he had killed more than one insolent brat in his extensive lifetime. Sly and clever as he was, Ujitama could probably poison Kotaromaru and make it look like an unfortunate accident.

 

Kotaromaru really didn't like him at all.

 

“Now,” the older youkai said when his student was seated at the low table with his paper, pen, and ink pot. “Since we finished our discussion of Tomisho the Great yesterday, we're going to begin this evening with the miko Midoriko, all right?”

 

Kotaromaru nodded and started jotting down notes - Midoriko… Hadn't he heard that name somewhere before?

 

Ujitama began to speak soon, however, and the inu-youkai stopped trying to recall where he knew the miko from lest he miss any of his advisor's information; the old man would not stop to let Kotaromaru catch up or repeat anything if he fell behind.

 

“Midoriko, as I've already mentioned, was a human miko. And she is only important because she has a very close relationship with our next topic - the Shikon no Tama.

 

“The miko was the strongest of her age, said to be capable of purifying ten youkai at once with ease. She possessed in great quantities the four souls, which are, when united, supposed to be extremely powerful. The four souls are: aramitama, nigimitama, kushimitama, and sakimitama. Courage, friendship, wisdom, love.

 

“There was another human, a man, with a filthy and impure soul, who desired the miko. When she shunned his affections, however, his anger and longing for revenge created a hoard of lesser youkai who attacked Midoriko. The battle raged for a quarter cycle before the woman realized she could not carry on much longer, especially since the youkai merged to form one enormous beast.

 

“With all her remaining powers, Midoriko sealed herself and the youkai within the Shikon no Tama, which burst forth from her chest once formed.”

 

Ujitama looked appraisingly over Kotaromaru's shoulder to see if the boy had written down everything, which he had. “Do you have any questions, then?” he asked of the young tai-youkai.

 

Kotaromaru shook his head; he now remembered who had mentioned Midoriko to him before. His Aunt Kagome had named the dead miko when he had asked her what it was that hung on the necklace around her neck. It was none other than the Shikon no Tama, recently purified and powerless. Kagome had explained to him that a wish had been made on the jewel, thus rendering it nothing but a pretty trinket, but would not say where she got it or how. “You're too young,” she informed him, making him pout.

 

“Very well,” Ujitama responded. “Then let's-”

 

But before he could complete his sentence, there was an urgent knock from outside the room and a second later the door slid open without even giving Kotaromaru a chance to utter a sound. In the doorway stood a panting, anxious looking sentinel who was usually responsible for guarding the library.

 

“What do you think you're doing?” Ujitama snapped, his light eyes gleaming.

 

“My apologies, m'lord,” the guard said very fast, but he wasn't looking at the advisor; his sight rested on Kotaromaru. “It's the Mistress, m'lord. She's not well.”

 

The tai-youkai didn't wait for anything more to be said. He stood quickly and started towards the exit, but a firm grip suddenly engulfed his upper arm and stopped him in his tracks. Ujitama had surprisingly strong hands.

 

“You are not going anywhere, child. Sit down.”

 

Kotaromaru glared, unafraid of the youkai with the thought of Minami, hurt, in his mind. “Let go. I am going to see my mother.”

 

“You are not leaving this room until our lesson is finished,” the rat sneered, his foul teeth showing.

 

In the entrance, the guard stood helplessly, unsure if he should interfere. He decided not.

 

Feeling brave and grown-up, Kotaromaru drew himself proudly up to his full height - four and a half feet - and snarled, “I am the lord of this land, and you will not tell me where and when I can go.”

 

And Ujitama, so shocked by the imperial tone of the boy's voice, actually loosened his grip, from which Kotaromaru wrenched his arm before hurrying off to find his mother.

 

OooOooOooOooO

 

By the time he reached her, Minami had been moved from the library, where she reportedly collapsed, to her quarters. She was tucked into bed and still had not woken up.

 

Kotaromaru asked everyone to leave her rooms when he arrived, and sat by her side alone, replacing the cold cloth on her forehead every hour with a new one as instructed by the maids who were tending to her before. He spoke not a word, unsure of what he could possibly tell an unconscious woman that would help at all.

 

When the half moon rose and the crickets began their chirping outside the castle, and still Minami had failed to come out of her slumber, he grew inherently worried. What could be wrong with her? Was she simply exhausted? He couldn't recall anything that would make her so. Perhaps the heat of the summer evening had gotten to her; he knew she sometimes complained that the humidity made her dizzy. He certainly hoped that was the only problem-

 

A hoarse groan, barely audible, issued from his mother's throat. If Kotaromaru hadn't been blessed with a superhuman sense of hearing, he was sure he would have missed it. As it was, the hair on the back of his neck stood up in anticipation, and waited, hoped, prayed, `Let her be okay… Please, Mama, be okay.'

 

But no more sounds came from Minami, who slept on, looking peaceful, while her son cried quietly long after the crickets outside had fallen silent.

 

OooOooOooOooO

 

When the lady of the castle finally opened her eyes the next afternoon, it was immediately apparent that she was no longer the woman who had been happily singing while she wove her way through the library the night before, searching for a book to read to Kotaromaru.

 

True enough, outwardly she did not appear to have changed much, although her skin was slightly less rosy than was customary. That, however, was a temporary side effect of her collapsing, and was expected to vanish properly in no time at all. No, it was the very small, subtle altercations in her demeanor itself that clued the young tai-youkai into the shift that had taken place.

 

When she thought he wasn't looking, Minami would gaze upon Kotaromaru with a heartbreaking expression of melancholy. He deemed it something akin to the look one might wear if they grieved over the inevitable loss of something or someone they loved very much. But why would his mother appear so? If anyone was to be in distress, it should have been Kotaromaru, who had mulled around the terrifying idea throughout the night that she might never wake up again.

 

Aside from the occasional strange glances, though, nothing seemed out of sorts. Kotaromaru hoped that the episode had been a one time occurrence, for both his sake and Minami's. He wasn't sure he could take another scare like the one her bout had given him. His heart would probably burst under the strain.

 

But two weeks passed without activity, good or bad. Kotaromaru was just in the process of heaving a sigh of relief when another letter came from Kagome. This one was much less cheerful than the last. Tear stains so large covered all parts of the letter so that it made it hard for the tai-youkai to really make out the words. Some looked like they had symbols missing altogether. The beginning of the note was written shakily, adding to the discord.

 

Minami, who was resting on a mat next to him, asked, “What does it say, aisoku?”

 

He read aloud:

 

“`Kotaromaru,

 

I'm sorry to say that it may be a while before we get to visit you again, sweetie. Your uncle and I went to visit my mama, like I said we would. She's not doing well. All the best doctors I could find are trying their hardest to help, but sometimes what we need are miracles, and those just can't be paid for.

 

I'm sorry this is so sloppy, baby. I haven't been myself lately. I'm trying to be strong, you know? It's a little easier with your Uncle Inuyasha here to help me, but still… I'm afraid. I don't want to lose my mama, just like you wouldn't want to lose yours, I'm sure. How is she, by the way? Send my love to her as well, please.

 

Well, sweetheart, I probably should be going now. Some more doctors are here to see Mama, and I have to talk to them. Let's hope for the best, okay? I'll write again when I have something definite to tell you. I love you very much, baby. Everyone here does.

 

Hugs and kisses,

Aunt Kagome and the family'.”

 

By the time he had reached the last word, tears had welled up in Kotaromaru's eyes without his even realizing it. Not until Minami pulled him into a warm embrace and the salty droplets fell down his cheeks was he aware of their presence. He wiped them away quickly, but his mother murmured, “It's all right to cry, sweet.”

 

She held him a while longer while the tears steadily but sparsely kept coming. When the last one gathered at his chin, quivered precariously on the edge, and then fell down to be absorbed into his teal silken kimono, she loosened her arms just enough to look at him lovingly.

 

“Is everything going to be okay, Mama?” he asked softly.

 

Minami replied with, “Everything will be, my love,” and nothing more.

 

OooOooOooOooO

 

It was perhaps no later than a week following the arrival of the letter from his aunt when Kotaromaru's latest history lesson with Ujitama was interrupted because Minami collapsed to the floor right in the middle of it.

 

Once more the young inu-youkai found himself in a state of driven panic, where he was able to decide exactly what he wanted to do and why, but could not for the life of him stop his heart from feeling like it might pound a path straight through his chest.

 

He watched helplessly as Minami was put to bed and tended to. The maids would not grant him sole care of her this time, they felt that a second fainting warranted their control over the situation, and part of Kotaromaru, the part that wanted the best treatment for his mother, agreed heartily.

 

A constant lookout was kept over Minami, who had grown horribly pale again. The next day rose bright and early, but the lady of the house did not rise with it. Her condition seemed only to worsen over time. Awake but too weak to get up or do much more than whisper whenever she needed something, Minami complained of an awful fever just after the sun broke the horizon. Kotaromaru, who insisted upon helping in some way, no matter how small, was given the task of refilling a bowl with cold water whenever it got too warm so that it could be used to cool the woman down.

 

The rest of the week was long, trying, and tiresome. Servants were creating a steady two-way flow in and out of Minami's quarters, and the rest of the castle was abuzz with the news that the mistress had yet to show any signs of recovery. Quite the contrary, in fact, when she began coughing up dark red blood one night.

 

And always Kotaromaru was nearby. Often Minami would request that he sit by her and just keep her company. Sometimes she wished him to speak, others, just his presence was enough. During one such occurrence, despite her son's pleas that she not overexert herself, Minami began to speak back.

 

“Your fever is going down, Mama,” the tai-youkai said. “One of the maids told me so earlier.”

 

Minami smiled weakly. The gesture was painful to see - nothing more than a shadow of her former smiles, so wide and beautiful. So many things about her had diminished in such a short time… Her once silky, shining black hair was dull and lank. Blue eyes that used to dance like the rippling surface of a spring stream had turned bleak. Her cheeks were sunken, her face ashen… Kotaromaru was sure that if he reached out and felt her belly he would be able to feel the contours of her ribs. This woman before him was not the mother he knew. He searched for something happy to say that would remind them both of better times.

 

“The first thing we're doing when you get better is going outside to catch butterflies, okay? Like we always do. I saw a bunch of them just the other day.”

 

“Aisoku…”

 

Kotaromaru squeezed her hand gently. “Don't, Mama.” He could see it was hurting her already raw throat to say even the simplest of words.

 

“This is it, aisoku,” she went on, anyway, her voice rasping with every syllable.

 

Her cryptic sentence was one that he didn't want to know the meaning of. The now familiar stinging behind his eyes made him blink. He didn't want to cry again. “Please, Mama-”

 

“I am so proud of you… My little boy… So strong, just like your papa…”

 

Kotaromaru was choking on the lump in his throat, unable to respond. A whine escaped.

 

“Ssh, my love… You are going to be… just fine…”

 

Damn those tears that would not let him alone. His eyelids fluttered rapidly, but they only delayed the flood for a short while.

 

“I love you, aisoku,” Minami whispered, still smiling with the last of her strength. “Promise you will catch a butterfly for me…?”

 

The dam broke and Kotaromaru started to sob. He buried his snowy white head in his mama's warm neck, clutching desperately at her shoulders. He could tell she was saying goodbye. He didn't want this to be goodbye. He wasn't ready yet. His head shook from side to side. No.

 

“Promise me,” she said again, stroking his hair. Pushing him away, to be on his own, even as she held him to her heart.

 

And the Lord of the West, the child, cried harder as he allowed it to happen. “I p-promise!”

 

OooOooOooOooO

 

Minami left the castle and its occupants the exact same way she had come to them - quietly and without a fuss. She fell asleep five days after speaking to her son and just never woke up.

 

The entire castle - except perhaps Ujitama - mourned the loss of the kind and great woman who had grown into their lives. None more so than Kotaromaru, who would not come out of his room to talk to anyone for two whole weeks, not even for the burial of his mother.

 

Eventually, one of the advisors had the sense to write to Inuyasha and inform him of what had happened. The hanyou arrived outside no more than a few days later, alone. He let himself into his nephew's quarters without knocking and found the boy sitting silently at his study table, staring at the bare tabletop.

 

“What're you doing, pup?”

 

Kotaromaru did not answer.

 

“You deaf? I asked you a question.”

 

No response.

 

Kotaromaru barely had a chance to register the thumps that meant his uncle was approaching him before he was quite suddenly knocked in the side of the head and sent sprawling on the floor. He sprang to his feet, infuriated.

 

“What was that for?” he screamed.

 

Inuyasha did not look sorry. He snarled, “You fucking answer me when I'm talking to you, got it?”

 

“I don't have to listen to you! You're not my father!”

 

“And you're damn lucky I'm not, `cause I'd kick your ass so hard you'd feel it for a month!”

 

This enraged the young tai-youkai even further. “Get out!” he screeched, stamping his foot. “Get out, get out, get out!” He could not reign in his temper, could not fight the urge to yell himself hoarse at this man who had not been there for him when he needed him most. Could not help squashing the rational voice that said his uncle had no way of possibly knowing that Minami had died.

 

“I hate you!” he continued, enjoying the sting in his throat. “Just go away!”

 

But Inuyasha did none of the things he was ordered to do. In fact, he walked forward, closing the distance between them and grabbed the boy's upper arms in a tight grip. Kotaromaru struggled immediately. As strong as he was, he was no match for Inuyasha, who did not let up at all.

 

“Let go of me! Let go! Why can't you just leave me al-lone…?” Kotaromaru's voice broke suddenly, and his strength drained out of him as quickly as if someone had pulled some hidden plug. He slumped forward into his uncle's grasp, exhausted. It was a little while before he realized with a jolt that Inuyasha was hugging him tight. He had never hugged him before.

 

And the embrace felt like it was the only thing still real in Kotaromaru's rapidly deteriorating world. His uncle's arms were solid, protective, safe. He relaxed gratefully into the hold and fell asleep, securing his first dreamless rest in nearly a month.

 

---------------------------------------------------

 

Danryokusei: resilient, flexible, adaptable

Youkai: demon (roughly translated, that is)

Tai-youkai: suppose that this would be the equivalent to “demon lord.”

Inu: dog

Miko: Shinto priestess

Shikon no Tama: the Jewel of Four Souls

Aisoku: “beloved son”

Hanyou: half-demon

 

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Disclaimer: Inuyasha is property of one Ms. Rumiko Takahashi. And thank gosh for that, because if I owned it you would be running for your life. Toodles.