InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Worth Waiting For ❯ Redemption ( Chapter 17 )

Disclaimer: They’re still not mine--if they were, I wouldn’t have gone so easy on Kikyou!

17. Redemption  

The first snowfall of the season arrived in the last week of November. Although the snow was only ankle deep, it gave Kagome adequate reason to stay inside and work on some of her “bad weather” projects. She had become proficient at a number of new skills, knitting several blankets and sets of clothing for the new pup as well as some scarves as gifts for her new family.

Of course, as is typical at this time of year, that first snowfall was gone by the next morning. Realizing that it might be some time before she could get another chance, Kagome took a collecting basket and headed for the forest. After a brief conversation with Sango in which he gave her specific instructions about a number of items he had left in the workshop, the hanyou followed at a distance, keeping to the trees.

He kept careful watch as she gathered several different kinds of herbs, some late-season wild berries, and three different kinds of mushrooms. Setting her basket down, she settled onto a thick patch of springy moss, stretching her feet out in front of her so that some of the swelling in her ankles could go down a little before she returned home. Leaning back against the side of an old tree stump, she examined her harvest critically, deciding to dry most of the mushrooms and herbs, saving the berries for the family for after dinner.

Sighing a little at the fact that her body would no longer function as she wished it to, she closed her eyes briefly, taking a short rest before trying to hoist herself back up off the forest floor. She had reached that warm, pleasant state halfway between sleep and waking when a cold voice jolted her awake. “And what do we have here? Some little whore without the brains to stay where she belongs, no doubt.”

Kagome looked up at what almost seemed to be a mirror image of herself. “What do you want, Kikyou? I’m a little tired right now, and don’t really feel up to playing games with you.”

“What do I want, bitch? I want what belongs to me, what you stole from me.” The cold voice grew bitter with hate. “And I know how to get it back,” she said, springing at Kagome who was unable to dodge easily due to her present ungainliness. The knife she had concealed in her left hand slashed out, leaving a shallow cut along the woman’s ribs.

There was a wordless scream of rage, followed by a blur of brilliant red and a cry of pain. The undead miko lay on the ground, clutching at a long cut on her left arm. Her usually expressionless eyes stared in shock at the youkai above her. The youkai’s voice was a low snarl, barely audible. “This is my mate, slut, and nobody touches what belongs to me.” His claws were poised to strike, and a feral smile crossed his features.

“NO!”

The youkai turned in surprise. His mate was struggling to her feet, bleeding from a cut along her side. A deep growl erupted from him at the scent of his mate’s blood, and he turned again to the silent figure on the forest floor. “Tell me why I shouldn’t leave you here in quivering shreds,” he snarled.

At the small whimper of pain from his mate, he turned again. Seeing the brief indecision in the youkai’s eyes, Kagome whispered, “Don’t do it. Please. Don’t be like her--you’re so much better than that.” Noticing the way his ears flicked back and forth in indecision, she continued, reaching out a hand in his direction. “Take me home now, love. I don’t feel so good right now, and the others will be worrying.”

“Yes,” he growled, then his ears flicked back to where the resurrected miko was getting to her feet, reaching once again for her knife. In a gesture almost too fast for human eyes to follow, she threw the knife at her rival. It was easily deflected by the youkai’s sharp claws. Then, with a loud snarl, he spun around, claws digging into the dead woman’s throat, nearly decapitating her.

Leaping back to where Kagome stood in shock, he snatched the woman up, racing through the trees.

Miroku had been bringing some additional firewood from the forest to the lean-to they had built near the entrance to keep their stock of firewood protected from the elements but still accessible. He looked up in surprise at the sound of something enormous crashing through the underbrush just outside of the clearing. He could feel the presence of a powerful youkai approaching.

Calling to the others, he reached for the strand of beads sealing the kazaana in his right hand. When the rest of the group appeared seconds later, he gestured at the forest around them. “There’s a youkai coming--a strong one.”

Shippou jumped up to the monk’s shoulder, grabbing his ear to maintain his balance. “It’s Inuyasha,” he said, “In his youkai form.” He sniffed again to make sure. “Kagome’s with him, and there’s a smell of human blood.”

Sango looked at the kitsune in shock. “He couldn’t have--!”

Rin, not at all certain what was going on, waited by the cave entrance with her bow and several arrows stuck in the ground ready for use. She squealed in fright as the youkai burst from the forest, the human clutched in his claws.

Although the woman seemed pale and her torn kimono was smeared with blood, she looked more worried than anything else. She looked at the group standing there in their defensive postures, and tried to be reassuring. “It’s okay, minna. You just have to leave us alone for a while. Can you go to the village for a while?”

The youkai’s scarlet eyes shifted uneasily at the presence of the humans and other youkai at the home his mate had shown him before. It was only the fact that they smelled familiar--almost like pack members--that saved their lives in that moment. The woman placed a small hand still wet with her own blood against his chest. “They’re leaving now. Let’s go inside.”

With wary glances at the others in case these also tried to take his mate from him, the youkai pushed aside the vines screening the entrance with an elbow and carried his burden inside. Placing the woman carefully on the youkai pelt in the main room, he moved to the fireplace and began to heat water. “Stupid bitch,” he snarled. “What the hell do you think you were doing out in the forest by yourself?”

She shook her head and untied her obi, wondering briefly if the slashed kimono could be repaired. She opened her kimono, exposing the long cut on her side. “Damn, that hurts.” Looking up at the youkai looming above her, she tried to explain. “I didn’t go very far, and I knew that it would be hard to get out there again before spring, so I thought we could do with some fresh food and extra herbs.”

Returning to his mate with a cloth he had dipped in the hot water, he carefully cleaned the cut, eyes and nose alert for any trace of poison. He had learned that humans were sometimes not above resorting to such unworthy tactics, and had no desire to lose his new mate through the intervention of some human whore. After wiping away the excess blood, he bent to the wound, allowing his instincts to guide him in licking it clean, knowing somehow that his treatment would help it to heal without leaving a scar on the woman’s perfect flesh. He finished cleaning the wound and disappeared, rummaging around in the storage room. When he was unable to find what he wanted, he returned to the woman, retrieving her kimono from the rug on which she lay. With a careless flick of his wrist he slashed the fabric into neat, even strips. Folding one of them into a pad just slightly larger than the cut, he used the others to bind it into place.

Dropping to the rug next to her, he wrapped her in strong arms, burying his face in her hair, inhaling her sweet fragrance. Reaching up, she wrapped an arm around his neck, pressing a light kiss on his lips. He shuddered in surprise, arms tightening around the fragile form he held. His eyes flew open in shock at the feelings washing through him. The crimson in his eyes faded, leaving them their normal shade of golden amber. His claws returned to their normal length, and she could feel the prominent fangs returning to normal as she thrust her tongue between his lips.

Breaking the kiss, he looked down at her, realizing that she was undressed and bandaged. “Did I do this?”

She smiled sadly, not really wanting to fill him in on all the details. “Yes and no. You didn’t hurt me, but you did bandage a cut on my ribs.”

He frowned in confusion. “Everything’s kind of fuzzy, but I think I remember flashes of what happened. You went into the woods, didn’t you? I think I followed you….” His eyes flew open suddenly as the memories returned. “Kikyou did this!”

His mate looked at the floor, nodding slowly. He flexed his claws in rage at what had happened. “I was actually going to let her go, but she tried to kill you, right?”

She nodded again, her heart nearly breaking for him. “I never wanted it to be this way,” she said. “I know how important she was to you.”

“Kagome,” he said, suddenly serious, “She was my past. You--and the pup inside you--are my future. I should have listened to Kaede-babaa when she was first revived and put her to rest then. Don’t even think of blaming yourself for this--she was not the victim here.”

“I noticed something today,” Kagome said, stroking the side of his face in an effort to calm him. “When you transformed, it was different. You knew who I was, you understood that I was in trouble, and you took care of me. I think,” she said, “That you’re starting to hold onto yourself a little when you transform. Maybe in time you’ll be able to retain all your memories and personality when you change.”

The hanyou nodded slowly. “You might be right. It could be because I had Tetsusaiga with me, but the should have prevented me from transforming at all. Hell, I don’t know--maybe it somehow decided that it needed me to change in order to protect you. Maybe I wouldn’t have been able to in my normal form.”

She shook her head a little. “You know, we should think about this a little. We may have to do some experiments to see exactly how this all works. I mean, I know that I never have to worry when you’re in your youkai form. After all, you’re my mate--you even marked me again in youkai form. From all that I’ve been able to learn, youkai are even more protective of their mates than the most devoted of humans, so I don’t have to be scared of you. If only we can find a way for you to keep your mind when you transform, the others won’t have to worry about it either.”

He smiled slowly. “I remember--you sent them away. Do you think they’ll be back tonight?”

She shook her head. “I doubt it--they looked a little scared when they left. They’ll probably stay at Kaede’s tonight and come back in the morning.”

The smile turned into a leer as he looked down at his injured mate lying nearly naked in his arms. “Good. I think that this situation has certain…possibilities, don’t you?”

She smiled brilliantly. “Absolutely,” she said, then shook her head wryly. “Can you help me outside first? I seem to have to go out there just about all the time now.”

He shrugged. “It’s normal. I remember reading about it in the books your mother gave us. It means that you’re getting close.” He looked at her critically, noticing that the bulk of the extra weight she was carrying seemed to be settling down into her pelvis from where it had originally been up under her lower ribs. “I don’t think we’ll have to wait more than a few more weeks.”

“I hope not,” she laughed. “I’m really getting sick of this.”

Lifting her easily to her feet, he wrapped an arm around her nonexistent waist. “But at least you’ll know what to expect next time.”

Her smile was tinged with sadness. “You mean you still want me, even when I look like this?”

He stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her body right under her breasts. Pressing himself against her, he showed her exactly how much he wanted her. “You have no idea. It’s all I can do to keep from taking you right now--I don’t know how I’ll manage for weeks after the pup’s born.”

She laughed out loud at that. “I do. Between your son--or daughter--getting us up at all hours and being a little tired to begin with, I don’t think either of us is going to have any energy left for anything else for at least a few weeks.”

After she had finished her business in the woods, she insisted on a trip to the hot spring. Although she was too close to her due date to spend any amount of time in the water, she could at least wash. As sensitive as her mate’s hanyou nose was, she didn’t want to take the slightest chance of offending him by being anything less than as clean as possible.

Carrying her back into their home, he headed directly for their bedchamber, saying, “There’s something I wanted you to see, but we got a little sidetracked.” Pushing aside the curtain, he set her down on her feet. “For when we need a little time for ourselves. What do you think?”

The cradle was made of oak in a slightly golden shade. It was painstakingly constructed, with a design of small forest animals carved into the head-and footboards. A small tightly-stuffed cushion with a cotton cover filled the bottom of the cradle, and two of the small blankets she had knitted were folded neatly over the side.

As he had hoped, she was delighted. She threw her arms around his neck, stretching up on her toes so that she could reach his lips. “It’s beautiful!”

He disengaged her arms from his neck, leading her to the next room. “There’s more.” When she reached the doorway she simply stopped and stared in silence. In addition to the cradle in their own room, he had made a number of matching pieces. There was a set of shelves that completely covered two of the walls, already holding a number of books and toys. There was a waist-high table topped with a thin cushion and surrounded by a low rail that had three bins for the storage of diapers and related equipment underneath. There was a large cabinet with elaborately carved doors that was already filled with the clothing and accessories she had either received from her mother or had made herself. There were two trunks full of extra bedding, both carved with designs matching the cabinet and cradle. And--wonder of wonders--there was a large rocking chair tucked into a corner of the room equipped with cushions for the seat and back, a large knitted coverlet folded over the back.

“When did you ever find the time to do all this?”

He smirked at her reaction. “I’ve been working on them a little every day. Rin’s been helping. I wanted to have everything ready before the pup came. You’ve been so busy making preparations, and I wanted to do something too.”

“Can you tell me something?” At his expectant expression, she continued, “What did I ever do to deserve you?”

He chuckled softly, something she had almost never heard him do before they were mated. “You can just consider it restitution for all the hell I gave you early on. Besides, this is what I always wanted for my life--I just never thought it would be possible for somebody like me.”

He carried her back to their bedchamber, placing her carefully on their futon. For a few moments he just stared in wonder. He had never expected that anything would be more beautiful than she had been when they were newly mated, but somehow she had managed it. For the first time he noticed exactly how long her hair had grown, though it retained the thick texture that always made his hands ache to touch it. Her skin seemed to glow in the lamplight as he almost reverently exposed her entire body to his gaze and his hands.

Even with the wound that was already beginning to heal, she represented a kind of perfection he could never hope to find in himself. How, he wondered, could he have ever thought that she resembled Kikyou? Although that matter had finally been resolved and the resurrected miko had been returned to her rest as should have been done immediately, he still felt some measure of guilt over her fate. After all, he had been fooled into playing a part in her destruction--simply because he had been too young and too stupid to see the trap until it was too late.

Perhaps, he thought, he could make it up to her in some small way by continuing to cherish the woman who had inherited the soul of the very first friend he could remember. He stretched out beside her, listening to the changes in her breathing he caused simply by being near her. Touching her skin lightly, he found her intoxicating fragrance growing stronger as she became more and more aroused. She cried out, reaching for him, and he shook his head. “No, love,” he whispered, his voice purring in her ear, “I don’t dare give you your release now--it’s too close. For now, you’ll just have to settle for me making you feel good.” Wrapping her in his arms, he continued to touch her, rubbing the tension from her shoulders and back, soothing her aching feet and legs, and stroking her incredibly responsive skin until she sighed from contentment and fell asleep in his arms.

When the others returned the next morning, they were already up and busy. Inuyasha had gone into the forest on a dual mission--both to locate some new supplies for his workshop and also to retrieve what he could of the remains of Kikyou so that they could be returned to her sister for proper burial. Kagome was sitting in the large main room, adding a little decorative stitching to one of the infant robes she had made. She looked up, smiling brightly at the rest of the group. “I’m really sorry I scared you all like that yesterday, but there wasn’t time to explain.” She struggled to her feet to start water boiling for tea. “You see, I went out into the forest--alone, like an idiot--to gather what late-season herbs I could find. I also got some wild berries and some mushrooms to dry. Unfortunately, one thing led to another, and I’ll probably have to ask one of you to go out there and see if you can find my basket--it got left behind in all the excitement.”

Anyway,” she continued, “My feet were aching, so I sat down to rest for a while. I must have been halfway asleep, because the next thing I knew, Kikyou was there, telling me that I was some stupid whore who didn’t have enough sense to go back to where I belonged. I was stating to get a little irritated by then, and told her I was too tired to play games, and asked her what she wanted. I already knew the answer, but I really didn’t think it would ever come to this. She said that she wanted what I stole from her and that she would take it back. She jumped at me with a knife--that’s how I got this cut on my ribs--and the next thing I knew, she was on the ground with a nasty cut on her arm. Inuyasha must have been watching me, because he’d seen everything. When I got hurt, he transformed, even though he had the Tetsusaiga. We’re still not sure how that happened. He was ready to kill her on the spot, but I asked him not to. He knew me this time. He wasn’t really up to his normal self, but he recognized me as his mate and was going to let her go because I asked him to. Instead of leaving peacefully, Kikyou grabbed her knife and threw it at me. The whole thing was over almost before it stated--he knocked the knife out of the air with a swipe of his claws, then tore her throat out, almost down to the spine. I asked him to bring me home, and that’s where you come into the story. You pretty much know the rest.”

Miroku nodded slowly. “It seems that we were wrong about the nature of his transformations. If he can retain enough of his mind to recognize you, it’s possible that he may one day be able to keep his entire mind intact, maybe even to control his transformations so that he can use his youkai power whenever it’s needed. Has he changed back?”

She nodded, thinking about exactly how they had reversed his transformation. “He changed back right after he got me cleaned up and bandaged. He’s already gone out into the forest. He wants to find Kikyou’s remains and return them to Kaede-baachan so that they can be buried properly. He’s also looking for some new materials for the workshop. It probably won’t occur to him to look for my basket while he’s at it.” She finished preparing the tea, pouring it for the entire group. She shook her head, looking down at herself. “I just don’t understand it. He still wants me, even though I look like this.”

Sango laughed. “Are you kidding? Just be glad you don’t live in the village--you’d have men falling all over themselves just to talk to you. And,” she added, “That means there would be male bodies scattered all over the landscape. Kagome-chan, I never had anybody love me like that--so much that he’d be willing to kill anybody who even thought about taking you away from him. I think it’s probably a little scary, but look at what you’ve done for him. He’s not the same person he was when I first met him. Back then he was so eaten up with insecurity that all he could do was try to hurt anybody who even tried to get close to him. You changed all that. All you wanted from the beginning was to be his friend. I only know a little about what his life was like before he was sealed, but I think that you somehow managed to heal his wounded heart so that he was finally able to really love somebody for the first time since his parents were killed. On top of everything else, you’re giving him a pup--no matter what happens to him in the future, some little part of him will live on because of you. How could he not want you even more than before?”

Miroku had been easing himself closer to Kagome, on the theory that it was now so difficult for her to move quickly that he could probably get in at least one good grope before the wrath of Sango--and Kagome herself--landed on him, but stopped when he saw the withering glare both women directed at him. “You do not see yourself as others see you, Kagome-sama. I would not have thought it possible, but you are more beautiful now than when you were mated. Your beauty is not just from your physical appearance alone. It is the result of the combination of your outward body and the unusual purity of your soul.” He sighed. “It must be difficult to live without really seeing yourself, but this is one time you must simply trust in the judgment of those around you.”

She smiled. “All right, guys. I know you’re just trying to cheer me up.” She looked at the two youngest members of the household, who were standing silently by. “Shippou-chan, why haven’t you come to see me?”

The little youkai approached her with much less enthusiasm than usual. “I was listening to the women in the village talking--they said it could be dangerous if I jumped on you right now.”

She ruffled his hair with real affection. “That’s probably true, Shippou-chan, but that doesn’t mean that you have to stay away. You just have to be a little careful.” With a critical look at Rin, she said, “You know, I don’t think that most of your old things will fit you much longer--you’re starting to take on a woman’s form. Maybe this afternoon we’ll start fitting you for some new clothes.”

The younger woman lowered her eyes. “I’m sorry, Kagome-sama. I’m not a very good student. When you came out of the forest I screamed instead of shooting my arrow as you taught me.”

“Well,” the woman said, laughing in relief, “I’m very glad you did. You’re a good shot. You might have really hurt Inuyasha if you’d fired. Instead, you listened to what I told you and went to the village with the others. So now, instead of anybody begin hurt, we’re all safe.” She gathered up the empty cups to be washed a little later on. “Why don’t you bring out my big sewing box--the one with the tape measures--and the pink silk in the storeroom? We can at least get you measured today.”

The old miko listened silently as the somewhat subdued figure before her told the story. When he was finally finished, she took the small bundle of bone fragments and set it aside. “It must have been a difficult thing to do. Do you wish to tell me what happened?”

“No,” he said, shaking his head, “But you should know. If I hadn’t followed Kagome into the forest it would have been her instead. They didn’t know I was there. Kikyou tried to kill my mate--I didn’t have any choice.”

“No,” the old woman said, “You didn’t. This is what I had feared from the start. Still,” she continued, fixing the hanyou with a piercing gaze from her good eye, “Perhaps it’s best this way. If you had freed her from that half-existence earlier, you might have suffered from the guilt for the rest of your life. Now, you understand that there was really no choice to be made at all. This was the best course for all concerned. Kikyou is at rest, and you and your mate are free to live your lives as you choose.”

The hanyou simply shook his head, not entirely believing that he had somehow managed to do the right thing after all. “Maybe,” he said.

“And your mate is all right?”

He nodded briskly, snapping completely from the self-pity that had been claiming him. “She had a nasty cut along the ribs, but it’s healing well. I don’t think it’ll be too much longer.”

“Good. You’ll send for me as soon as it begins?” The old woman had been waiting for this for more than three years now, and she was not about to miss it by accident.

“Yeah,” he said. “We’ve got it all worked out. Once things start happening, we’ll send Shippou and Kirara. They’ll bring you back to the cave--it won’t take very long at all.”

“Has a place been prepared for you to wait?”

He turned to her with something very like anger. “What the hell do you mean, ‘wait’? I have to be with her.”

She shook her head emphatically. “This is a job for women, boy. You would only be in the way. I’ll arrange somewhere for you to wait while we work.”

He nodded slowly. He might be banished to some waiting area, but there wasn’t any way in hell they could keep him there if his mate needed him. He turned to leave, eager to return home. Before he could leave the small building, the old woman’s voice stopped him. “Inuyasha.”

“Nani?”

“When you go home, send the houshi and the taijiya to me. I have to speak with them.”