Kingdom Hearts Fan Fiction ❯ Alkalinity ❯ Borate ( Chapter 7 )

A/N: I was in a spot of trouble trying to decide where I wanted to go with this chapter. But I've decided, and my decision pleases me.

 

 

Actual events at work today. My boss (who is young and cool, for the record) read the first five chapters.

 

 

ME: So what are your impressions of the characters? Of Axel and Roxas, at least.

 

 

BOSS: … I don't like them (as people)

 

 

M: Is it Roxas' brattiness? Axel's… Axel-ness?

 

 

B: Well they do kill people.

 

 

M: … Oh. That.

 

 

XD It honestly didn't occur to me.

 

 

 

 

x(X)x

 

 

“I would die for you

I would die for you

I've been dying just to feel you by my side

To know that you're mine

 

 

I will cry for you

I will cry for you

I will wash away your pain with all my tears

And drown your fear

 

 

I will pray for you

I will pray for you

I will sell my soul for something pure and true

Someone like you

 

 

See your face every place that I walk in

Hear your voice every time I am talking

You will believe in me

And I will never be ignored

 

 

I will burn for you

Feel pain for you

I will twist the knife and bleed my aching heart

I'll tear it apart

 

 

I will lie for you

I can steal for you

I will crawl on hands and knees until you see

You're just like me

 

 

Violate all my love that I'm missing

Throw away all the pain that I'm living

You will believe in me

And I can never be ignored

 

 

I would die for you

I would kill for you

I will steal for you

I'd do time for you

I would wait for you

I'd make room for you

I'd sail ships for you

To be close to you

To be a part of you

'Cause I believe in you

I believe in you

I would die for you.”

 

 

#1 Crush by Garbage

 

 

x(X)x

 

 

For the first time in years, Roxas was passing all of his classes, by sheer dint of the time and attention he had applied to his homework in his sleepless nights.

 

 

Why had he done the homework? Why had he spent so many weeks sleeping in erratic fits of exhaustion?

 

 

He tried to remember, but the sharp pressure in his skull prompted him to think of other, more comfortable things.

 

 

In Latin they were having a discussion rather than a session of rote memorization, and Roxas ended up chatting animatedly with the instructor and a few die-hard history buffs about the daily living conditions at the height of the empire, the status of slaves, the intricacies of Roman dress, and certain quirks of architecture.

 

 

He thought it strange that the instructor seemed nonplussed by some of the things he mentioned. He could only have gleaned it from the text, after all.

 

 

Hadn't he?

 

 

In World History he surprised himself again with detailed tidbits, and wondered if this was how a brain operated when its owner actually studied.

 

 

In Chemistry he watched the teacher watch him. He groped for something witty and scathing, but only trite one-liners cropped up, and so he reluctantly let the urge go.

 

 

He sat at the back of the room, and would have been the last one out had he not been caught by the collar and dragged backward. Axel kicked the door until it slammed shut.

 

 

Once the instructor had perched on the edge of his desk, he seemed to lose his sense of direction. He twitched and stared at the long, narrow V of bare skin on Roxas' chest framed by black brocade and bisected by the skinny tie.

 

 

“I suppose wearing a shirt was too much trouble for you?” His restless fidgeting leeched most of the authority from the reprimand.

 

 

“It was too hot, yeah. I wouldn't mind wearing one now that it's getting cooler - but far be it from me to deprive you of the view you're so enjoying.”

 

 

Axel's eyes shot upward, caught, but he didn't have the grace to flush. Instead he studied Roxas' expression intently, as if searching for something in particular and finding it lacking.

 

 

“I'm wondering if you've taken into account what I said yesterday. Given this sudden… turn in your behavior, I'm having trouble.”

 

 

Roxas stared for a long moment, turned the words over a few times, and tried to make them fit.

 

 

Finally he offered “You mean when you chewed me out about not coming to class?” It had been blurry at first, just smears of color, dragging and low words, but the more he though about it, the more it resolved itself into an acceptable memory. “I would think that the `turn in my behavior' would be exactly what you wanted.”

 

 

The stormy green eyes were cartoonishly wide now. Then they narrowed to gleaming slits.

 

 

Too softly, Axel said “Are you trying to be funny?”

 

 

When Roxas arched inquisitive brows, Axel snarled something that sounded suspiciously like “dense brat” and stormed out of his own classroom. Roxas watched the hypnotic swaying of the branches beyond the window for blank moments before shaking off his daze.

 

 

x(X)x

 

 

That night Demyx caught them as they retreated from the dining hall. The ebullient instructor eagerly invited them to “Movie Night” in the professor's wing now that they were acting “relatively normal” again.

 

 

Roxas chose to go, if only to further examine the troublesome species that was Professorius Insanus. He convinced Namine to come, but she agreed only when she was able to drag Kairi along, and Kairi insisted on bringing Sora, her own twin brother.

 

 

Roxas found himself laughing as he watched them - these two who were what he and Namine might have been if they were still innocent, still children. There was no humor in the sound.

 

 

x(X)x

 

 

The opening credits of the French film were rolling on, accompanied by slow, somnolent music. Roxas could see the shifting grayscale from the corner of one eye, but was rather preoccupied with observing the chemist who had removed himself to the kitchen to make popcorn. And smoke, apparently.

 

 

The kernels were on the counter, along with butter, salt, and an antiquated air popper. And though Axel had been standing by the stove for nearly ten minutes, presumably to light the persnickety gas with a match and set the butter to melting, the dairy remained hard and cold on the counter. If Roxas craned his body just a little more, however, he could see the used matches being dropped into the sink - and that the stove was turned off.

 

 

When he quietly rose and padded into the kitchen, however, he was finally able to see the crushed butts on the counter - and the livid, circular burns on Axel's forearm. Axel caught sight of him lurking in his peripheral vision. He tugged his sleeve back down, but the movement was unhurried and unashamed.

 

 

He picked up the salt shaker, and asked a question so blandly that Roxas was halfway through saying that yes, he would like salt on his popcorn, before it registered.

 

 

I suppose you're straight?

 

 

Once he felt the air drying out his gaping eyes, he attempted to regain a more dignified expression. Axel seemed more than willing to wait for an answer as he leaned one hip against the counter.

 

 

“I'm asexual.”

 

 

He hadn't realized it until the clumsy words tumbled forth, but it made perfect sense. It wasn't that he didn't like guys, or didn't like girls; he didn't like people. Other than Namine, there wasn't anyone on earth he could stand in large doses.

 

 

Axel's eyes flashed, and his motions (open the bag, pour in the kernels, find the bowl) became jerky and sharp. “Well that's just lovely for you, isn't it?”

 

 

Roxas' mouth seemed discontent with just one brainless slip; more had to be vomited up.

 

 

“But you're screwing it up.”

 

 

The lanky figure grew still, stopped breathing. In the silence interrupted only by the popping of kernels, Roxas wondered if Axel's heart had stopped beating.

 

 

The maniac met his eyes slowly, and what he saw seemed to prompt the deep inhalation that broke Roxas out of deer-in-headlights mode. He darted back to Namine's side on the couch, and spent the remainder of the movie glued to the screen. He managed to escape without a word to Axel, but the feeling of that heavy, measuring gaze followed him all the way to his apartment.

 

 

x(X)x

 

 

Roxas paused with his mug of coffee half-raised, and asked Namine to repeat herself.

 

 

“Have the dreams stopped?”

 

 

His brows pinched together in confusion.

 

 

“Dreams?”

 

 

With an exasperated snarl, Namine opened her mouth to grouch at him. She closed it just as quickly, before any sound could escape. There was a sudden wariness that tightened her mouth and shook her shoulders.

 

 

It took ten minutes of attempted speech before she finally managed to squeeze out a question.

 

 

“You're not kidding. You really don't remember, do you?” The edge of her voice was growing increasingly hysterical.

 

 

Roxas protested, made all the appropriate exclamations; but the pressure at his temples was growing, and he didn't want to think about this any more. He felt fire behind his eyes, demanding to be acknowledged.

 

 

Watching him struggle, Namine fell from building hysteria to dull blankness.

 

 

“Do you remember when we were seven, Roxas? Do you remember anything about that year?”

 

 

He did. Of course he did.

 

 

Except he didn't.

 

 

Memories surfaced and fell away; visiting grandparents, occurrences at school, how he got the shining scar on his chest… They were flat and tissue-thin. From the corner of his eye they had been enough, but now he tried to touch them and they fell apart at his fingertips.

 

 

Innocence was a passing thing; what little of it he had left was savagely ripped away, leaving gossamer threads to cling to his eyelashes.

 

 

There was that antiseptic smell seeping into his skin, the gleam and pinch of needles, the lack of texture on a padded wall, the choking pressure of pills going down.

 

 

As Namine screamed and sobbed and beseeched, he vomited onto the gleaming marble of his kitchen floor.

 

 

x(X)x

 

 

A/N: I've had a pretty awful week, and I'm sorry if it affects my writing. Also, I hereby assure Livie and everyone else that Alkalinity is still the priority, and until I'm finished with it, Acerbic will have to remain my side story.

 

Leijhana tu'sai to all readers and reviewers!