Kingdom Hearts Fan Fiction ❯ Burn ❯ Chapter 20 Demyx ( Chapter 20 )

Burn

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy nor am I making any money by writing this.

A/N: This time I actually wrote out the chapter first. For the last two chapters, I didn't do that and I'm not please when the result. I've been having a lot of trouble writing lately so I'm going back to the basics. We'll see what happens.

Thank you, as always, to my lovely beta MuffinPirate for working out the kinks in this.

I'm updating several days early because I'm moving into my dorm Friday and I'm not sure I'll have time to post anything, so here it is!

 

Chapter 20 Demyx

I was surprised when Roxas showed up in Axel's and my room one night unexpectedly. I was even more surprised when Roxas asked me to go keep Zexion company for a while so he could talk to Axel alone.

I could sense that Roxas wanted to talk to Axel about Zexion. I had noticed along with everyone else that Zexion was getting much worse. He didn't talk, didn't eat, and was losing weight rapidly. He looked incredibly thin and just so sick. Roxas was Zexion's roommate so he could see firsthand just what Zexion was going through. And Axel was Zexion's best friend so he could possibly try to talk some sense into him.

I had no place there; it wasn't my business. I had no problem going to keep Zexion company. Besides, I liked spending time with him. He's quiet and I never say much around him but when I'm with him, I don't feel pressured to say anything or to start a conversation. We are comfortable in silence. Roxas is the same: he's quiet and doesn't mind the silence. Axel on the other hand, minds the silence. He has a very outgoing personality and has a hard time being alone. That said, he also seems to have a hard time trusting people. It's a complicated thing. Then again, Axel is a complex person. All humans are complicated. I don't know a lot about things. I don't know much about people. This is just what I have observed.

I walked down the hallway, easily navigating my way to the room Roxas and Zexion shared. I knocked on the door and stuck my head inside, making sure I could see Zexion.

“Hey Zexion, is it all right if I come in?” I asked.

On the other side of the room, Zexion nodded, so I went in. Roxas and Zexion's room was a lot like the room Axel and I shared, except a whole lot neater. There weren't clothes strewn all over the floor, dirty and clean piles coalescing into one huge pile in the middle of the room. Their personal things were all put away properly in their proper places, unlike our room where everything was just… everywhere.

No matter how many times Aerith and Hannah nagged me and Axel, the pile never got any smaller, only larger. Axel and I shared clothes all the time, wearing whatever we could find in the pile that appeared clean. The room had been clean once, before Axel arrived. I had done a pretty good job, but then Axel came and he did a terrible job of keeping the room clean.

No matter how many times he was punished, no matter how many times his privileges were taken away, the room never got any cleaner. At the beginning, I did manage to keep my side clean, but the mess (and Axel's terrible habits) spread until I stopped caring. I was constantly getting in trouble along with Axel, but it didn't matter to me anymore. My parents didn't want to see me and I didn't have any friends.

The only thing I had to live for was Zexion. I was alive because he needed me. I had sensed it right at the start, when we first met. He needed somebody, a friend, like me. Although he had Axel, the redhead was slowly slipping away from him. Even though none of them ever said a word, I could tell that that was what was going on. I could tell just from observing the three of them, seeing how they acted around each other, what they said, and so on.

I'm more aware of my surroundings than people give me credit for, but that's how it's always been. People never give me enough credit; they always think I'm slow, stupid. They think I can't do anything right and they never fail to let me know when I'm wrong. They never tell me what I do right, only what I do wrong.

I took a deep breath and, banishing the unpleasant memories to the deepest, darkest part of my mind, I stepped forward into the room, closing the door behind me.

Zexion was sitting up in bed, dressed in his usual matching grey sweatpants and long sleeved shirt. His hair hung over half his face as always. He had a sketchpad balanced neatly on his lap and he had been hunched over the sketchpad until I came in. Now, with a pencil held between his long, pale fingers, he looked up at me, one blue eye visible.

He looked even more haggard than usual, and it made me want to cry. He was always petite, but he never looked as fragile like he did now. I didn't want to hug him or even touch him because I was afraid he'd break.

I walked over to Zexion's bed and cautiously sat down on the edge near Zexion's feet. I was careful to not sit on his feet because it was possible that they'd break. Zexion's one eye looked at me inquisitively.

“You can go back to what you were doing,” I said, gesturing to Zexion's sketchbook. “I'm just here to keep you company until Roxas comes back.”

I deliberately didn't tell him that Roxas himself had asked me to stay with him because he was afraid that Zexion might try to kill himself again. Zexion seemed to accept my explanation and went back to drawing.

I couldn't help but sigh softly. “I'm just here to waste more space.”

 

For as long as I could remember, I had only wasted space. I don't think there was ever a time when I didn't waste space.

My parents weren't exactly the most loving parents ever. They had been trying to have kids for a long time and they wanted a girl, but they got stuck with me. From the time when I was really young, my parents reiterated that I couldn't do anything right. They made it my fault that I was a male instead of a female. Everything was my fault. It only got worse as I got older. My parents told me everything I did wrong and never what I did right. I started finding the bad qualities in myself and I lost sight of the good qualities.

My childhood, like a lot of peoples', was unremarkable. Nothing abnormal happened unless you count my parents verbally abusing me. When I was six, my parents found out that they couldn't have any more children. It was a devastating blow to both of them, especially since they had always wanted a little girl.

I tried hard to please them, but nothing I did could make them happy. It wasn't until I was older that they started arguing. I would lay awake at night and listened to them fight over every little thing. Even worse, they took out their frustrations on me.

My father started having an affair with one of his young coworkers. I found out when I was nine. I confronted my father and he shoved me out the window. I don't remember much of the incident; I blacked out after I hit the ground and was in and out of consciousness for a day and a half. Luckily, I didn't suffer any permanent brain damage; just a concussion.

I woke up in the hospital with my father by my side, his expression severe.

“Dad?” I croaked.

“Demyx, you are not to tell anyone I pushed you out the window, do you understand?” my father said. I nodded. “When they ask, you fell out the window. Do you understand?” He grabbed my arm painfully. “DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!”

“Yes!” I gasped, tears in my eyes.

My father let go of my arm and walked out of the room. I never saw him again. I was left horribly scarred from the broken glass and filled with self-doubt. My mother blamed me for my father leaving and never forgave me. She raised me by herself, albeit reluctantly.

At school, I didn't have any friends. Everyone thought I was weird because I had scars on my face and I wasn't like everyone else. I didn't care about all the latest fashions and all that other stuff. I was shunned. No one cared for me and that led me to my bathtub on a cold Saturday morning while my mom was at the grocery store.

I had already written my farewell note, not that I thought anyone would really care about it. I turned on the cold water in the tub and waited while the water filled it. I stripped all my clothes and stared at my face in the mirror. I couldn't stand to look at myself for very long; I was so hideous. Tears stung my eyes and I turned away.

When the water was near the top, I turned the tap off and took a deep breath. I stepped into the water and shuddered at the cold temperature. I kneeled down in the water and then lay down. The cold water was biting. I closed my eyes and slid under the water. The temperature made my body hurt. Suddenly, I wasn't sure if I could do this anymore. I resurfaced and opened my eyes. I wiped the water from my eyes.

“I am so weak!” I told myself. “So weak I can't even kill myself.” I shook my head. “Gotta be strong for once in my life.”

I took another deep breath and submerged myself under the water. My body wanted to float to the surface, but I forced myself to keep my head down. My lungs burned and I wanted to scream. I started to panic and thrashed wildly around in the bathtub. My arms and legs hit the sides of the porcelain tub and I rolled onto my stomach, keeping my face under the water. My head started to feel fuzzy and I became really sleepy. My body slowed down and I started feeling good. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all. I sort of floated away.

I felt someone roughly shaking me and a far off voice called my name. I didn't want to respond. I enjoyed being asleep.

“Come on Demyx, wake up,” a man said far away.

“Will he be okay?” a woman asked.

“We're not sure,” a man answered.

Something thick was wrapped around my body, restricting my movement. I was roughly picked up and moved somewhere else.

After that, I must have blacked out, because I don't remember anything until I woke up at the hospital with a tube shoved down my throat. I started to panic, which set of a bunch of alarms that only made me panic even more. A nurse came running in and saw me panicking. She rushed to my side.

“Demyx, it's okay,” she said soothingly. “You're okay. Just relax.”

I panicked even more. The nurse had to sedate me in the end. It took me a while to get used to the ventilator. Eventually, I was taken off it and I was rehabilitated. Then, I was admitted to the Psychiatric Ward where I started seeing Dr. Wise. It took a long time, but began to get my life back on track. I still felt like I was missing something, though, until I met Zexion

 

Someone was shaking me gently.

“Demyx. Demyx!” somebody said.

I opened my eyes. It was Zexion.

“Huh?” I asked stupidly.

“You started spacing out and nearly fell over,” Zexion explained in a quiet tone.

It was then that I realized that I was leaning up against him and he had his arms delicately wrapped around my waist. I felt my face grow warm as I realized our position. I turned my head slightly and looked Zexion directly in the eye. His one visible eye watched me curiously, his breath warm on my neck.

“Thanks for catching me,” I murmured.

Zexion nodded. We stared at each other for a few moments. Then, Zexion leaned over and gently kissed me.

“I don't think you're a waste of space,” he whispered.

My face grew even hotter.

“Uh…um…” I stammered like a complete idiot.

I didn't know what to say. So instead of saying anything, I kissed him, figuring my actions would speak for themselves. After a while, Zexion crawled back to his previous position, and I joined him.

“Can I see what you're drawing?” I asked, motioning to Zexion's closed sketchbook, laying on his nightstand. Zexion hesitated. “It's okay. You don't have to show me if you're not comfortable with it. There are some things that are too private to share with others.”

Which is why I haven't shared my latest song with you. I added silently.

Zexion nodded and rested his head on my shoulder. We cuddled until Roxas returned.

“Well, it looks like it's time for me to go,” I said, heaving a soft sigh. “See you tomorrow, Zexion.”

I detached myself from him rather reluctantly and gave him a quick kiss goodbye.

I was at the door when Zexion said, “I'll let you see the drawing when I'm finished.”

“Okay,” I said with a smile.

I turned around and walked out the door. I was honored that Zexion trusted me enough to let me see his private work. Maybe I would share my song with Zexion one day and trust him, as he seemed to trust me.

Because I really liked Zexion.

To be continued…

A/N: Yeah, this turned out a lot better than the previous chapters. Though I still feel like I've failed epically with this chapter. XD

Yay, some Zemyx!! This story has been seriously lacking Zemyx.