Kingdom Hearts Fan Fiction ❯ Depths of memory ❯ Reliving the past ( Chapter 1 )

Do you believe in karma? You know; that word people use to say "What comes around goes around?"

Do you?

Okay, do you believe in the rebirth of souls, then? The recycling of souls until we supposedly achieve our ultimate form, free of all earthly weights and temptations. The proper term for that is re-incarnation, I think.

Do you?

Well at first, I didn't either.

What made me change my mind, you ask?

You'd probably call me a lunatic if I told you.

Heh.

Well, alright then.

I fell in love.

I know…

But with someone of the same sex.

Makes it different, huh?

Heh, he really changed my life. Turned my world upside down, literally, as he did every time we met in our past lives.

You get it; this is the part where it gets weird.

Not just your everyday weird.

But really fucked up weird.

Want to join the ride?

Hoax, fall 1254

The chains around his ankles made a soft clicking sound as he tried to shift into a more comfortable position on his spot on the harsh floor.

Soon they would come and reunite him with the only thing he had ever loved in his whole life. The only thing he had not been able to protect.

His eyes shifted to look into the palm of his hands as he opened them, revealing with filth smudged, calloused fingers. Fingers that had felt how the life of his loved one slowly had ebbed away, as he hadn't been able to speak until it was too late, not understanding what had been happening until his hands had been holding nothing but the entity without it's subsistence…

All tears had left his body and now he had nothing else left to live for, nothing to share with anyone.

Soon they'd be here and end this pain. Soon he'd see him again and they'd be together; together where they'd be free of loving each other without restrain.

His heart had maybe been broken, his body now beaten and tired, but their love and the memories they had shared would never, ever die.

New Xillion city, spring 2004

Monday morning, 7.43 am

I didn't need to open my eyes to know that I was late. Again. Shit.

Raising my right arm clumsily to shut my alarm clock up, I groaned deeply into my pillow when my hands shakily tried to hold up my weight as I tried to push myself off. I felt nauseous and feverish; courtesy of an evening out with a few of my friends to celebrate my twentieth birthday accompanied by a night filled with weird dreams. Great.

Casting a drowsy look on the red digits of my clock, I sighed, fatigued, and dragged myself out of bed.

I had a paper to hand in and the deadline was in… 15minutes. I'd never make it in time to class.

"Riku, you awake yet?"

As my feet finally supported my body, my roommate's head peeked inside of my room.

I groaned when she chuckled at me while entering.

"You were still sleeping?"

Kairi, my roommate. I've known her for as long as I can remember. We both used to live in the suburbs of the city, where most of the richer class of New Xillion City lives. We now live together in a rather fancy apartment in the middle of the city. That way we are closer to NXU, our university.

Kairi just started her first year in physiotherapy and takes it, in my humble opinion, way too serious. I knew she was a very assiduous student back in high school, but now she has just gotten worse.

I don't even know how she does it. Next to her college she gives aerobic lessons at the gym near central park and takes additional lessons at a local spa to become a masseuse there.

Not that she or me needs the money, her father is the director of a great computer company and my parents are both psychologists.

We've just finished the first semester and I barely managed to pass all of my exams while she succeeded each one of hers with flying colours. Not that my criminology studies don't interest me, but I prefer to spend my free time elsewhere than in my room studying. And next to my studies I have a job as a model for the 'CQ magazine', a magazine for homosexual men. Nothing pornographic. Don't even think of it. No man will ever see me naked. Ever.

I'm not gay. I'm not, like my parents say, sexually confused. It's a job and apparently people like the way I look. Okay, most of them are men, but the job pays good money. Let's leave it at that.

"Could you keep it down?" I pressed my right hand fingers against my forehead in hope to lessen the throbbing sensation of my head ache and took my sleeping robe that was lying on the end of my bed to cover my current state of nakedness.

Not that I was fully naked, but presenting yourself in nothing but your boxers in the morning is not quite adequate. Not if the girl staring at you isn't your girlfriend or photographer.

And especially not if the girl was Kairi.

She confessed her liking for me two years ago. It was on a hot and rainy August evening, the night before I was to go for the city to study there and she had been crying on my door step.

I didn't fully understand what had put her in a state like that, she knew that I would only be an half an hour away, but once I had seated her on my couch while trying to calm her down, she had started kissing me and telling me how much she loved me. No need to say that I was a little dumbfounded and just held her to me as she cried more. She then fell asleep right then and there.

I didn't need words to say that I didn't feel the same for her the next day as she awoke in my bed. The embarrassing silence had said enough.

I think she understood too, because she never spoke a word of it afterwards. Although all of that happened nearly two years ago, I know that she hasn't forgotten about it and that she still feels the same about me. She'll never tell me that, I understand, but her feelings reflect themselves in the little things she does for me since she moved in with me almost six months ago.

"Just wanted to tell you that I handed in your paper for you. Your professor asked me where you were, but I told him that you weren't feeling too well and that you'd probably take the day off." She said, plopping down on my desk chair while pulling the auburn hair that was in her sweaty face out of the way. She approached her bottle of water to her lips while looking at me with a small smile.

This was one of those things she did for me.

"Kairi…" I smiled thankfully approaching her and trying to figure out where to press a kiss on her damped head. She giggled and raised the back of her right hand. I kissed it and she stood up, so she was standing extremely close to me.

"I don't know what I would've got done without you. Thanks Kai." I gave her an honest smile, moving in to hug her but changing my mind in the process, seen her rather sweaty state, "You're a great friend."

Her violet eyes were looking up at me for a moment and she just smiled softly before turning around and walking back to my door, "Oh yeah, before I forget. Cloud left a message on the answering machine; I listened to it as I entered. He wants you to come in at 4 this afternoon, so they can start shooting those pictures for the summer collection of Von Aglio's clothes. He said something about being on time because there's a new photographer or something."

I scratched the back of my head with a smile; hopefully the new photographer wasn't as obnoxious as the last one. I then shivered internally, remembering a time when he had put one finger inside of my pants so to lower them to his licking. Afterwards I got to know that he did that with every newbie. It was the first and the last time he tried that with me though; the next time he tried I almost broke his finger. Guess that's why we never got on good terms with him.

"Thanks." I said. She nodded and took a step outside of my room before something came up in me. "Wait. Kai." I walked up to the door and watched her halting in her steps.

"What's up?" she asked, directing her eyes to mine in a hopeful manner.

"I was just wondering," I started, feeling like I needed to do something to repay her, "What do you say you and me pick up a movie tonight?"

She raised her eyebrows in surprise and laughed briefly, "If it had been any other night I would've got gladly accepted, but my father is taking me out to dinner tonight." She then rolled her eyes, indicating that she wasn't looking forward to it.

"Oh," I wanted to leave it at that, but maybe there was something I could do for her, "Well, can I come? It's been a while since I've seen you're father and I don't want to be on my own tonight."

She giggled a little, her eyes lighting up, "You sure?" she then looked at me suspiciously, "You could use the time to study you know."

I chuckled, "I know, but I prefer spending it with my roommate." She gave me a sceptical look and I laughed, "And her father."

"Okay then. It's at 'La Godiva'; you know that Italian restaurant on Traverse Street?"

I nodded.

"Be there at 8 sharp. My father hates people who are late." She informed and gave me a warning look.

"I'll try and be on time." I sheepishly said, giving her a small grin.

"Riku, please."She pleaded, swatting my arm playfully, "I'm very serious about this. You know how my father is."

I laughed, "Do I have to wear a tuxedo or something?"

She gave me her deadly serious look and my smile faded into nothing. I hated formal wear.

"Just wear something nice, but not too casual." She then chuckled, starting to loosen her hair tail, "I'm sure you'll find something; after all you are a model. Don't they usually have good taste?"

I mimicked her talking and gave her a scowl, "Don't real girls brush their teeth before going running in the morning?"

She gasped in a played offended way and stuck out her tongue before walking away from my door and to her bathroom, "Don't straight guys choose a job for straight people in stead of taking those for gay one's?"

I growled at her and chased after her, but received the door of her bathroom slammed in front of my face and her laugh from behind the now locked door.

"You can't hide in there for ever! You will get hungry!" I loudly said, retreating myself into my room.

Falling down on my bed, I then chuckled softly to myself. Thanks to Kairi I didn't need to go to college today and my paper was in, so I could sleep for a couple of more hours.

Hoax, spring 1253

Ocean blue eyes opened themselves to look at him with a loving gaze, slender fingers slid the long his jaw line and up in his silver hair, pulling him closer, making their lips connect with each other.

"Your highness…" he heard himself whisper as he felt another hand disappear in his leather pants, "We shouldn't be doing this…"

"But don't you want it, Ryuu?"

Ryuu closed his eyes at the tempting whisper in his ear and bit his lower lip, "Your highness," he whispered, taking the smaller one by his shoulders and keeping him at a safe distance from him, "As much as I want to, we cannot do this. You've been promised to princess Kilana and I've been assigned as her bodyguard. War will erupt if someone was to find out about us and King Amenon will not be forgiving."

"I've been promised to the princess long before I could even walk or talk." The other sighed, walking away from Ryuu's grasp and turning himself to look at the horses lined up next to each other in their individual stalls, "I've had to carry the weight of my country's salvation on my shoulders ever since I was born. No one asked me how I felt about it; no one wanted to know what I thought."

He then walked up to a golden steed and petted the side of his head, whispering loving praises to the animal, "I've always been alone inside, Ryuu. I've always been on my own. My father never really got close to me because he felt guilty of having imposed me this."

Ryuu tilted his head to the side while leaning against a wooden pole and listening.

"My mother died ten years ago when I was around nine. The only memory I have of her is one of her crying. Every time I was around her, she was crying." He directed his sapphire blue eyes to the aqua ones of the other young man resting on him, "Crying because she knew that I would have to go some day and that if she got too close to me, she wouldn't be able to bare the pain." He then redirected his attention on the horse in front of him and rested his forehead against the bridge of it's nose, "I don't want to end like both of my parents, Ryuu. I want to at least enjoy my stay here. I am after all the future king of this country."

"And Kilana will be your queen, your highness." Ryuu added, the back of his head now resting against the wooden surface of the pole, his eyes closed.

"Please, Ryuu."

Ryuu opened his eyes to see the young prince standing in front of him with a small smile on his lips and his big innocent eyes looking pleadingly at him.

"Call me Soryan."

"But your highness…"

Soft lips pressed against his and silenced his protest.

"I've never protested against what King Amenon and my father had planned for me. But that doesn't mean that I wanted to have Kilana as my bride." Soryan huskily whispered against his lips, "Why do you want to deny me the only thing I've ever asked for in my whole existence?"

Ryuu gulped as he watched Soryan take off his tunic. His small, tanned torso got revealed to him, every curve of his slender body accentuated by the soft golden glow emitted by the lanterns inside the horse stable.

"You want me and I want you." Soryan whispered, his hands sliding up Ryuu's chest and on to his neck, where they joined and pulled him closer, "Give me you. Please."

Not knowing how to react at this plea emitted by the smaller boy, Ryuu let his head be lowered and kissed him. A part of him was worried about what would become of them if they were to be caught doing this, and another part couldn't deny that he had secretly longed for this foreign prince ever since he had set foot inside the castle.

His thoughts got scattered however as he felt Soryan pull both of them into a corner where a heap of hay lay and lower himself to lie on it.

Their exchange of lust was witnessed by many pair of eyes; each one of them unable to tell it further.

10.37 am

With a gasp I suddenly woke up, bathing in my own sweat, my hair clinging to my face like a second skin. I was breathing heavily now, the images of my dream still crystal clear in my mind; it had seemed so real! I had been able to feel, even smell the hay as if it had been lying next to my bed.

I think I laid there staring at my ceiling for a good ten minutes before it dawned on me.

I had sex with a guy in my dream.

And I had a serious hard-on.

I don't think I ever got that fast out of my bed and into my shower than that day.

Was there something wrong with me? Why was I dreaming about this? Why did I keep seeing those things through this Ryuu's perspective?

After my shower I fixed lunch for myself, since Kairi had already gone to her classes for the day. I then decided to go do some groceries, since the fridge didn't contain much to eat anymore after I was done with it and because I wanted to distract my thoughts. You'd think that it's highly unusual for a model to eat that much, but my body has been granted with a fast metabolism which gives me the advantage to eat almost whatever I want without adding weight immediately. And I work out twice a week so my eating is really no problem for me or my job.

I headed out for my work an hour too early because I just couldn't stand being alone with my thoughts anymore. They were confusing me and I didn't want to feel that way: everything wasn't supposed to change over a stupid dream.

As I drove down Atlantic Road I spotted a flea market and decided to go take a look. You always found something interesting at markets like these and I still had the time.

I walked between the different stands and looked here and there; waving vendors away who offered things that didn't really interest me.

After looking around for approximately 20 minutes and finding nothing worth buying, I was on my way to my car when I got addressed by a peculiar looking old man dressed in a black cloak and standing behind a table with what looked like occult objects.

I approached him with the idea to friendly turn his offers down, when he suddenly said to me;

"I know you've been having weird dreams."

I admit, since my mind currently felt like it had gotten scrambled, that I was taken off guard, but I soon gave him a sceptic smile, "Just because I may look tired doesn't mean that I'm having…"

"You dreamt about being locked up and chained in a donjon and about a young prince who's gotten you questioning about your sexuality," he interrupted me, and I could've got sworn that I had heard a hint of a chuckle in his voice. I took a step back though; how did he know all of that? No one was supposed to know.

"Look here, that's really none of your business." I hissed, starting to get offensive.

The man raised his shoulders nonchalantly and I had already turned my back to him, starting to walk in the direction of the street when he spoke again.

"History is bound to repeat itself if you don't make an effort to accept your fate."

I stopped dead in my tracks, his words stirring something inside of me, "What?" I asked, turning around.

However, I found myself looking at a young woman with thick curly blonde hair that was now standing behind the small table.

"Where's the old man that was here a few moments ago?"

She gave me a weird look, indicating that she had no idea of what I was talking about, "Sorry?" she asked, looking at me with her large brown eyes.

"Eh, never mind." I averted my eyes from hers and directed it to the objects on the table. A small golden ring suddenly caught my attention, it's beauty looking familiar to me. There was an oval dark blue stone embedded in the metal, small, golden, slithering rays encircling it, like a burning sun.

I picked it up and studied it more closely. A faint golden glow seemed to be pulsing in the depths of the stone, but as I brought it closer to my eyes it had disappeared.

I was seriously starting to think that I was going crazy with everything that had happened today. First the dreams, the weird old man and now this. I was definitely loosing it.

It was then that I heard it.

"Here."

"What is it?"

"The Blue Ring of Emyra.I want you to have it."

"But Soryan… I cannot accept this."

"I want you to have it, Ryuu. I want you to carry it at all times so you always think of me."

"I don't need this to think of you."

"If something was to happen to me; I want you to show it to my father."

"What are you talking about? Nothing will happen to you, I'm now the guard of the Royal couple, and I won't let anything happen to you."

"Oh, Ryuu."

"Don't talk like that anymore, alright?"

"I'm not asking you as your lover, Ryuu, but as your prince. Show this ring to my father if anything was to happen to me. Please."

It was as if everything around me had been standing still and now slowly started to move again and all sound began to return.

I felt disoriented and bend over, resting my hands on the table before me. My breathing was heavy and I could feel drops of sweat rolling down my right temple.

Where did that come from?

"Huh, what?"

"That's 10$, sir."

My eyes now focused on the round face of the girl in front of me and then to the circular ornament still in my hand. I opened my fist reluctantly and looked at it cautiously as if it was going to blow up in my face at any moment and now definitely saw the dark stone emit a golden glow.

"History is bound to repeat itself if you don't make an effort to accept your fate."

To be continued…

-Blackdiamond Princess-

&nbs p;