Kingdom Hearts Fan Fiction ❯ Desperate Reflections ❯ Mixed Signals ( Chapter 7 )

In case you haven't figured it out yet, there are major spoilers to KH2 in this. So be warned.

 

Thanks to my readers and all those that take the time to leave a review! I appreciate the support!

 

Chapter 5: Mixed Signals

 

Axel dug into his meal with relish, even more sure that staying with Vincent was the right thing to do. Really. It was like he had a cook and a housekeeper all in one. Now if only he could get the man to wear an apron or one of those frilly smocks... then again, Vincent was likely to shoot him for just the suggestion. Axel snickered quietly to himself over his scalloped potatoes at the thought of the man in white lace. Cute.

 

“I'm glad that you find this so amusing,” commented Vincent dryly.

 

Emerald eyes looked up from the devouring of his dinner, nearly plate and all, to find Vincent giving him a glare. Oh right, the older male was talking about something. “I'm sorry?” he responded, the words coming out more like a question.

 

Crimson eyes rolled as he took a sip of the steaming cup of tea. Come to think of it, Axel had never seen him eat. No wonder the guy was so damn thin. He could really stand to eat a little more.

 

“You asked about my research?”

 

Axel nodded, shoveling another forkful in with all the grace and manners of a street rat.

 

“Very well.” Vincent sat back in his chair, idly staring at nothing in particular as he explained. “There are few methods to actually get off of a world. Gummi ships allow travel between worlds but there is no port on Gaia's Grotto that I have been able to find. And if there were any on this world who could build one, they have lost their memory.”

 

The firestarter frowned. “Gummi ships?” he questioned. His mind drew a blank.

 

An almost wistful expression crossed the winged man's features. A clawed finger rubbed on the tea cup in his grasp. “They are vessels built specifically for travel between the worlds. Composed of gummi blocks, they are actually quite swift and are oftentimes upgraded with weapons and defense capabilities as well as navigation systems.”

 

“You know a lot about them.”

 

Vincent closed his eyes for a moment, pensiveness turning to an almost pained look. “I once knew someone who built them. He was a dear friend.”

 

“You were close,” commented Axel, instantly feeling as if he had stumbled upon something that would finally give him some insight into the close-mouthed older man. He had tone down the literal smirk that was trying to creep into his features, lest Vincent immediately notice and clam up again. “Maybe even more than close. Is he--"

 

“None of your business?” questioned Vincent, immediately interrupting. Crimson eyes snapped open. “Yes, he is. So don't ask.”

 

For the first time since he had seen Roxas, Axel actually attempted a pout. It didn't work so well on him as it did for his blond friend, but he tried. “But--"

 

“Axel, drop it.” It was a warning, not a suggestion. Vincent's tone had changed, nearly icy now.

 

The firestarter held up a hand, idly wiping at his mouth with a napkin. “Okay, gotcha. Sensitive subject. I don't see why since I will about Roxas all I damn please. It doesn't bother me any.”

 

“Oh?” A dark eyebrow was raised. “And what if I was to ask you where he is now? What if I were to question if he were alive or not? Could you answer me that? Could you even think about it? What if I were to ask you... if he even remembered you or was waiting for you to return?”

 

Axel scowled, hating the effect those words had on his heart. As if someone had reached inside of him with a vise, squeezing out until there was nothing left but a hollow ache. “You're a bastard, you know that?” One hand unconsciously went to his side, patting the pocket where he had earlier secreted the Oblivion key chain.

 

Vincent turned from him at the words, in effect, nearly closing off Axel from him as he looked towards the window. “I've been told so before. But at least now you understand why I choose not to speak. I assume now you will respect that.”

 

Truthfully, he could understand now why the dark-haired man was so cold and closed off. It was nearly the only way to survive on a world where everyday he faced the loss of everything that was precious to him. It was a perpetually lonely existence, even if he knew others like himself because they couldn't associate too openly without suspicion. They couldn't afford to display emotion otherwise the truth of their memories would be discovered. Almost as if they were spies anxiously awaiting the day that they would be found out.

 

And to speak of what they fought for... to actually recall fondly and remember was like a stab to the heart with each murmured memory. Axel sighed, scraping the last of the food on his plate and stuffing it into his mouth. “I'm guessing that a gummi ship is not the only method?” he questioned, returning to their original line of discussion and hoping to remove the thin bead of tension that now rested in the air.

 

Vincent shook his head, wings rattling behind him slightly with the movement. “No. Though the other.... paths have so far proved just as fruitless.” A small sigh escaped the other man's mouth as he returned his attentions to Axel. “There are magical paths I am sure, but no one here has ever stumbled upon the necessary arts or casts. There have long been tales of a teleportation ring in this system.” A small smile curled up on the corner of Vincent's mouth as he considered his next words. “And there have even been whispered rumors of a door to a secret garden of Eden.”

 

Axel scoffed. “You can't be serious,” he responded with a raised eyebrow. “A secret garden?”

 

The other man managed a shrug. “People will believe in anything to escape their despair. Yet, no one has ever found this `door'. And lastly, there are the portals of darkness.”

 

This suggestion completely caught Axel's attention, instantly relating the words to what he had witnessed in his flashbacks. He sat up straight in his chair from his lazy slouch, a bit of excitement daring to rise up in his heart. “The portals?”

 

Vincent nodded. “Traveling the corridors of darkness... an unpredictable pathway that links the worlds. Though there are none here that are able to use them.”

 

“I think I can.”

 

Crimson eyes regarded him thoughtfully, clawed fingers remaining wrapped around the untouched cup of now lukewarm tea. “You think?” he questioned softly.

 

Axel snorted as he pointed a finger at the guy. “Don't play dumb with me,” he retorted. “We both know you expected something from me from the beginning. I was a Nobody before coming here. Using the corridors was second nature to me then.”

 

Vincent was unrelenting under the stare. “Before. That is the key point here. Can you now?”

 

“I haven't tried,” responded Axel, sitting back in his chair and nearly propping his booted feet on the table. “In fact, up until a few hours ago, I had forgotten I once was able.” But even as he said so, he could still feel it, that slight link with the darkness as well as the light. He was certain that if he tried, he could find the path. It would be their ticket out of hell.

 

But the winged male didn't seem too impressed. “It's a mild hope at best.”

 

Emerald eyes darkened. “Why?”

 

“Do you even know why you were able to use them so easily as a Nobody?” Vincent challenged. “Have you ever stopped to consider what it actually meant to travel the corridors? Relying too heavily on the darkness causes one's heart to slowly succumb to it until it is completely eaten away by the shadows.”

 

The firestarter waved a hand of dismissal. “Get to the point already,” he bit out, scowling.

 

Vincent sighed. “Because you were a Nobody, you didn't have a heart, therefore there was no fear of having it taken from you. Now it is different. You are whole, a complete being. It would be reckless and dangerous to attempt to use them.”

 

The red-haired male slumped at the words. “So what you're saying is... the risk isn't worth it.” It was almost too hard to believe, especially considering the older man's expressed hatred of Gaia's Grotto and his desire to return to those he left behind. Axel had never been one to worry about the risks before, not according to his memories. He manipulated, he planned, he dove headfirst... but rarely did he stop to consider the consequences.

 

Vincent seemed pain by the suggestion. His eyes took on a distinctly haunted shade belying his inner turmoil. “What good would it do for us to attempt to leave if we die in the process?” he reasoned.

”We certainly aren't living here. All we've got to lose is our lives which have been so `graciously' returned to us,” replied Axel sarcastically, making a very good point. A sudden thought occurred to him as he cocked his head to the side. “You know an awful lot about this. The books here really that informative?”

 

“There are some that the council has managed not to destroy that I have rescued,” responded Vincent carefully, almost as if trying to hide something. “and my memory, though sporadic, still retains some knowledge.”

The red-haired male frowned, folding his arms across his chest as he leveled his gaze at Vincent. “Knowledge of what? How do you know so much to begin with?”

 

The other male sighed. “The world I am from originated those abominations, the heartless. It was one man's thirst for knowledge that inevitably spelled the doom for the rest of the universe. And while I was not part of the research team myself, I regretfully aided in one of their experiments.”

 

“The wings,” commented Axel thoughtfully, his eyes sliding from Vincent's face to the slightly webbed appendages, stretched mightily over seemingly frail bones. The spines on the outlines glinted harshly in the pale light of the kitchen. “Do they have something to do with these experiments?” he questioned, unable to keep the sneer from his voice as he spoke the word.

 

“We're not talking about me right now. We're talking about you and the portals, and the risk you think that you are perfectly ready to take.”

 

“I am ready!” hissed Axel, eyes flashing. One fist pounded on the table. “I can't stand this fucking world!” The tone of his voice rose higher with his annoyance, coming dangerously close to setting Vincent's table on fire once more. He couldn't quite put into words just how much he loathed Gaia's Grotto from the mechanical emotions to the conformity to their attempts to remove his memories. He had not suffered under Xemnas' hand to come to a new kind of hell. He wanted out and he wanted out now!

 

Crimson eyes darkened, brow furrowing. “And would you give up your life on a whim? Waste your second chance on jumping into your death when a mere day of studying could save us?” demanded Vincent, voice becoming sharp with irritation. His clawed fingers curled dangerously around his cup, threatening to shatter the ceramic with his greater strength.

 

“It is better to do so now than waste away to nothing on this damned worthless rock!” Axel countered, arguing merely to prove his point. He knew good and well that he didn't yet understand enough about the corridors of darkness to attempt to use them, but he despised being told what he should and should not do. Axel was his own man, not even Xemnas could convince him otherwise.

 

Vincent scowled, face flushing with the beginnings of anger. “Dammit, Axel! Stop being so flippant! This is your life. You may have been a Nobody before but you are whole now! Even if you are trapped in this kamiforsaken world. If you take this risk, if you give up, you'll never see Roxas again. Don't ruin this chance!”

 

“What an impassioned plea.” The words escaped his mouth before he could take them back, unable to help the slightly sarcastic response. The man had never shown him anything but brief glimpses beneath his mask and damn if Axel wasn't determined to break through to him.

 

Crimson eyes blinked, speechless at Axel's response. Whatever Vincent had planned to say next died on his lips.

 

“No really, I'm impressed,” continued Axel with a nonchalant shrug and gesturing wave of his hand. “I think that's the most words I've heard you say. And here I thought you didn't care about me. At least, I can see you're not a complete block of ice. Give up, eh?” Axel shook his head, emerald eyes darkening. “I'm as tenacious as a cockroach Vincent, I don't know the meaning of the term.”

 

His lips thinned into a thin line as Vincent abruptly stood, shaking his head. He turned away from Axel and headed towards the sink. The cup clinked inside as the water turned on with a slight squeak. “Kamibedamned, Axel,” muttered the winged man though Axel didn't think he was actually being spoken to. “Not even Reno can get me as riled as you. You're just like him.”

 

There was a moment of silence before Axel sighed and stood as well, picking up his dinnerware and taking it to the sink as well. He stood beside Vincent, not looking at him but laying his dishes in the sink underneath the steaming water. “A few days of research couldn't hurt,” he conceded, only because he considered the same truth himself. “Besides, I need practice.”

 

Vincent didn't look at him, the cup clinking around in the sink as he turned on the water and rinsed it out before setting it on the drying rack. From the reflection on the glass of the window, Axel could see Vincent's expression, for once curiously unguarded. Concern and sadness swirled in crimson orbs, one lip pulled between fanged teeth as his gaze was cast at nothing in particular. It was almost as if he were lost in a memory, even his wings drooping noticeably.

 

“Vincent?”

 

The older male blinked before shifting his gaze towards Axel, crimson eyes saddened. “You would be wise to do so,” he responded before glancing at the red-haired male appraisingly. “You're out of shape. The memory beasts would eat you alive.”

 

Axel stared at him in shock. “You... I... what?” he stuttered, unable to come with anything more coherent. He was out of shape? Well, forgive him for crashing face first into a hellish world when he died not once, but twice already!

 

A small chuckle emerged from Vincent's mouth. “I have some time before I must be at work. I am willing to spar with you.”

 

Emerald eyes regarded him thoughtfully before Axel grinned. “Very well, Show me what you got old man.”

 

- - -

 

That night, after a long training bout with Vincent, Axel dreamed. But it was different than usual. The clarity of a flashback, the sight, sound and color. He could literally feel every emotion he should not have had at the time. And it wasn't a dream of some point in his life, no. But a memory of when he died, and the last true time he saw Roxas, though not in any way easily understood. Perhaps it was brought about by his rubbing of the Oblivion memento before laid down. Or maybe even by the sudden pang of longing that struck him considering he and Vincent's earlier argument.

 

Axel wasn't really sure. All he knew was that the dream, was a memory, and though he experienced it within his mind, the meaning was entirely unclear.

 

They were standing in the corridors of darkness, somewhere between the shifting strings of shadow. Strange, for dark corridors, how very full of color they were. A certifiable rainbow that shimmered and shone. Almost beautiful, but he supposed that was the way of darkness. It was beautiful and enchanting, as well as alluring. Seducing one into its shadows until they were all consumed. It had happened to them all, in one way or another. No light shone more bright or beautiful than the darkness, which only made sense to those who had been wrapped in its arms.

 

Kairi had gotten away from him and Saix got a hold of her. His last plan had failed and there was little left for him to do. Except hope that Sora would stop Xemnas from going through with his plan. There was something about Sora that made Axel feel. He couldn't explain it. So Axel had gone to find the boy and ran into him within the corridors no less, surrounded by a huge number of Nobodies.

 

“Don't stop moving, or the darkness will overtake you!” He announced his presence, jumping into the midst of battle and easily dispersing of a few Nobodies with an elegant twist of his chakram. He nodded his head towards Sora and the clueless cartoons he called friends.

 

“Get goin'!” he ordered.

 

But the boy just frowned cutely and shook his head. “Why?” he asked, swinging his key blade at another attacking Nobody. It dispersed with one swipe, proving Sora's power. It was no surprise that Demyx had been scared.

 

Axel rolled his eyes. “Don't ask! Just do it!” He swiped at another few Nobodies before two grabbed him and pulled him to the ground. He flailed about to free himself but his arms were pinned beneath their weight and he couldn't break free. He growled, feeling the surge of fiery anger rising within him.

 

Then suddenly Sora was standing over him, wielding that shining key blade and dispersing the Nobodies that were holding him down. “You okay?” questioned Sora, looking down with those worried eyes that for a shade of color, looked just like Roxas. The sudden pang of longing that struck him in that moment astounded him with its intensity.

 

Axel groaned, slowly pushing himself up with his arms. He managed a half-kneeling position, one hand on the ground to prop himself up. “I kidnapped Kairi but she got away from me!” he confessed, waving one hand for emphasis. He shook his head. “After that, Saix caught her!” He punched the ground, anger at the man who was once on the same side boiling up within him. “He's a member of Organization XIII. Saix. Got it memorized? Now go save her!”

 

Behind Sora, the Dusk Nobody swirled around, intent on attacking the key blade master in the back. Sora whirled around quickly, knocking away the enemy with one twist of his key blade, a move slightly reminiscent of Roxas. “Leave us alone!” shouted Sora, face pulling into an angry frown. Axel pushed himself to his feet, quickly calling his chakram to face the hordes of Nobodies heading their direction.

 

Fire roared in all directions as the four of them worked together. Axel gritted his teeth and refused to back down. He had chosen this path and there was no turning back now. Even if he could no longer save Roxas, if he had given up that plan, he could at least help Sora and stop Xemnas. And he was willing to do anything. After all, he could blame Xemnas for everything. He knew this.

 

With a growl, Axel jumped back to avoid a particularly vicious blow, ending up back to back with Sora. He smirked. Now was his chance. “I think I liked it better when they were on my side,” he commented, smirking as he released a fire ball at a Dusk that writhed its way far too close.

 

Sora scoffed. “Feeling a little... regret?” he questioned, his voice taking on a teasing note.

 

The firestarter shook his head as he laughed lightly, half turning to look at Sora. “Nah... I can handle these punks,” he replied, unable to help the way he clutched at his chakram, knowing what he was about to do. It wasn't so much that he was afraid to die like Demyx, he just regretted that he never told Roxas how much the blond meant to him. “Watch this!”

 

He leapt away from Sora, jumping right into the middle of the writhing and dancing Dusks. He concentrated wholly on the raging fire inside of him, the emptiness filled with dancing flames. The chakram were thrown to either side where they spun with flames sparkling around their sharp points. His hands thrust out, slowly rising as he pulled from every source of energy inside of him. He even dipped into his life force, putting all that he had into one final explosion, one final attack.

 

The chakram began to spin and rotate around his body, moving so fast they were a blur of orange and red fire, a blaze that built so strong around him he could feel the heat. But still he did not cease, the chakram continuing to spout flame. A wave of power crest up inside of him until finally, it exploded so loudly and brightly that sight and sound ceased and everything went dark. A gigantic torrent of flame obliterated the Nobody horde in an instant.

 

He barely felt his body as it collapsed to the ground, the emptiness gnawing at him and disintegrating his form from the inside. It was amazing how much it hurt, as if someone was carving him up piece by piece. Pinpricks of pain on every inch of his body. He barely registered, through the wracking of pain, that Sora had made a comment. It didn't seem so important.

 

He groaned and forced his eyes open, noticing a great weight had settled on the lids. Black smoke was rising from his body into the air, dispersing into nothing. Kind of like he was nothing. It was a strange feeling, dying. Very painful, and yet also nothing at all.

 

“You're... fading away...” The words washed over him. He shifted his gaze over, finding Sora near to him, looking troubled and very concerned. It was endearing.

 

Axel managed a light chuckle, though he could barely move any other part of his body. “Well, that's what happens when you put your whole being into an attack. You know what I mean? Not that Nobodies actually HAVE beings... right?” Another laugh escaped his mouth but it came out strained and rushed. “Anyway, I digress. Go, find Kairi. Oh, almost forgot... Sorry for what I did to her.”

 

Sora shook his head, brown spikes dancing back and forth with his blue eyes shining. There was emotion there, but reflections of it. Almost as if he were looking at two different people. “When you find her, you can tell her that yourself.”

 

He looked away. “Think I'll pass. My heart just wouldn't be in, you know? Haven't got one.” Axel laughed weakly, wincing when the effort made the pain worse. His hands clenched lightly against the ground, strangely smooth and solid for the almost ephemeral look to it. He idly wondered if he would see Roxas beyond his `death' or if even something which was nothing could `die'. Perhaps he really would just fade away.

 

“Axel, what were you trying to do?” questioned Sora.

 

Something jumped inside of him when he was asked that. Reminding him instantly of what he had lost and how badly he had failed. “I wanted to see Roxas. He... was the only one I liked... He made me feel... like I had a heart.” Axel paused as another wave of agony shot through him. “It's kind of... funny,” he continued, shifting his gaze to look over at Sora. And for a moment, he swore he saw Roxas looking down at him, all ocean-blue eyes and blond hair. It made his heart, the one that he didn't have, literally leap in his chest.

 

“You make me feel... the same,” he finished, swallowing down something that tasted like regret. It hurt, admitting that he had done far too little, far too late. There was nothing to save Roxas now and he would never see him again. Sadness swelled inside of him, strange considering he had no emotions. He sighed, pushing them down before he lost it and called up what little bit of power he had left. It would probably finish him off but it was worth it.

 

“Kairi's in the castle dungeon. Now go!” He left no room for argument, raising a hand and summoning up a portal. But that was the last he had inside. He dimly felt a furious rise of pain before... there was nothing.

 

Axel jerked awake, his every nerve feeling as if it were on fire as he flailed about and off of the bed. He loudly crashed to the ground, the sheets tangled all around his legs. Every hair on his body stood on end as electricity danced across his skin, his extremities jerking mildly. Emerald eyes darted wildly around the room, his heart pounding fiercely in his chest from the minor fright.

 

The sound of highly amused laughter reached his ears. Axel craned his head, to find bright aquamarine eyes gazing down at him above a pair of smirking lips. A shock of red hair and he knew the name of his alarm clock: Reno, already dressed in the all black ensemble for work. Axel scowled, wrestling against the entanglement of his sheets.

 

“Mornin', yo,” drawled Reno, standing up straight as he balanced his Electro Rod on his shoulder. “Ready to take on some beasties?”

 

Aggravated with his skin still tingling, Axel reacted aggressively. He growled, launching his sheet-wrapped body at the older male. Reno didn't react in time and the two men went crashing to the ground, Axel's arms wound about the other male's legs. They flailed and twisted about, wrestling across the floor as Axel sought to gain the upper hand, wincing when the action pulled at some of the bruises and sore muscles from sparring with Vincent. Reno in turn, spat and cursed, having dropped the Electro Rod and being forced to rely on his own wrestling experience.

 

The sheets worked their way of Axel's body, revealing his boxer-clad form as he rolled around the floor with Reno, panting slightly from the exertion. He grabbed onto a flailing black-clothed arm and twisted, using his slightly greater height and weight to force Reno down.

 

“Fuck!” exclaimed the older male, kicking out with a foot which Axel nimbly dodged, giving a great heave and forcing Reno onto his back. He grabbed thin wrists and clutched them, forcing them to the floor above his mentor's head as he grinned, proud of his accomplishment.

 

“You yield?” he questioned, smirk already present as he glared down at defiant aquamarine eyes. Never mind that he was half naked with his hair electrified in bright red spikes all over his head. He had won the wrestling match.

 

Feet padded by Axel's room out in the hallway and for a moment, the firestarter was distracted, looking up to see Vincent regarding them both with amused expressions. “Careful,” warned the winged male, arms slightly crossed over his surprisingly bare chest. “He bites,” he added as he shook his head and continued down the hall.

 

Axel's brows furrowed in confusion seconds before the body beneath him arched and yanked on trapped hands, off setting his balance. He tumbled forward, yelping when a warm, wet tongue licked a slimy trail up the side of his face that was anything but erotic. Frankly, it was gross, the kind of lick that a slobbery dog would give.

 

“Ugh,” commented the firestarter, releasing Reno's wrists in surprise as he rubbed at the slimy trial on his face. He slid off of his mentor's body, one hand scrubbing over his face as he climbed back onto his bed, slumping down on the mattress with the serious thought of returning back to sleep. “You licked me,” he accused with a scowl.

 

Reno just grinned, baring his teeth at the younger male as he rose to his feet, calmly dusting off his clothing. “Whatever it takes to win, yo,” he commented with a nonchalant flip of his hair over his shoulder. “Get dressed, man. We've got work to do.” He flipped his wrist at Axel before strolling out of the bedroom, heading down the hall towards the kitchen.

 

Axel groaned and rolled over on the bed, scrubbing another hand over his face. His body still ached from the night before but he had to start his job today, hence Reno's appearance. The dream still played over and over in his mind, though he was uncertain of the meaning. Roxas reflected within Sora. They were both Nobodies... Roxas within Sora. It made very little sense, as if he were missing part of the puzzle. There was some key fact that he had yet to remember, some little piece of information and until he discovered that, the nagging bit inside of him that declared all was not well, would not disappear.

 

He laid there for a moment more, staring up at the ceiling before finally deciding to quit being lazy and getting up out of bed. He dressed in record time, throwing on the scratchy black clothing and running a hand through his hair in an effort to control the wild spikes. He grabbed the Oblivion key chain from the desk top, running a finger over the counters of the charm before shoving it in his pocket and heading out the door.

 

He heard the murmur of voices down the hall coming from the kitchen. Reno was laughing loudly, his voice garbled as if he were chewing at the same time and Vincent's low tone came back with short responses. Their discussion was clearer the more he stepped closer, trying to quiet the clomp of his boots across the wooden floor, intricately curious.

 

“... Vince, this is some good shit. Seriously,” intoned Reno. “You cook like this for Axel all the time?” he questioned, a teasing hint to his voice.

 

There was a rustle and Axel could only assume that Vincent had turned around to glare at the Lightning element male. Reno chuckled although it sounded a bit nervous. “Kidding, kidding, yo. I'm just saying, yanno. So... you really like the kid, huh?” There was a crunch and munch as someone ate some type of food, Axel could only guess. He paused just outside the door, wanting to hear more of the conversation. He had no qualms about eavesdropping.

 

“I'm not sure what you are implying, Reno,” responded Vincent. There was a clink of dishware, the soft pad of feet across the tiled floor.

 

Reno sniffed. “Don't play coy with me, man. We've been in this together for too long. Do you still think he's got it?”

 

It? Axel couldn't help but wonder what “it” was. It sounded like some bad fantasy movie. Or porno. “It”, the greatest force ever to save mankind! “It” is faster than a speeding bullet. “It” can leap small buildings in a single bound... no virgins are safe from “it”. Axel snickered to himself at the thought. Because of that he missed the beginning of Vincent's response and had to strain his ears to catch the next.

 

“...when the time comes. Until then, well, we'll just have to see.”

 

The firestarter frowned, uncertain as to what he had missed. When Reno didn't say anything in return, Axel decided to make his presence known. He cleared his throat loudly and clomped noisily around the bend, announcing his entrance into the kitchen with great flair. He swapped the back of Reno's head with one hand and swiped a few pieces of rather crunchy toast from the table with the other. He popped the buttered bread into his mouth, grinning widely at both older men.

 

“So now you're playing fetch service, eh?” he questioned around a mouthful of toast. He took another bite, plucking it from his mouth before continuing. “How did you know where I was?”

 

Reno grinned, leaning back in his chair and setting a booted foot on the table much to the seated Vincent's chagrin. He didn't seem the least bit unnerved by the crimson glare which Axel found even more amusing. Vincent played the perfect housewife, going so far as to get incensed over his kitchen table. It was priceless. He would make someone the perfect... wife someday. He had to bite back his giggles aloud.

 

“I knew you'd win ole Vincent here over, some way or another,” replied Reno cheekily as he poked at Axel with the butt end of his Electro Rod. “We're going to be late if you continue to prance around the kitchen like that, yo.”

 

Axel shrugged, munching thoughtfully as he turned around and headed for the door, waving one hand towards Reno. The older male grinned as he popped out of the chair, with the added aid of Vincent pushing down his feet.

 

“I do believe you have worn out your welcome,” replied the winged male dryly. As usual, Vincent was sipping at a cup of tea, but he was dressed down, not in his standard work attire. Having worked the late shift the night before, he was heading off to bed once his unwelcome guests departed for their own employment. A crimson gaze flickered to a paper sack sitting unassumingly on the table, the top of it folded over twice to prevent its contents from escaping.

 

As Reno bypassed Axel and headed for the door, the firestarter couldn't help but raise a brow. “What's this?” he questioned as he stuffed the last of his toast into his mouth. “A present? For me? Why Vincent, you shouldn't have!”

 

“I didn't,” responded Vincent stiffly. “It's a meal. For later. Don't expect it to happen again.” He picked up the bag with one hand and tossed it in Axel's direction.

 

“What?” asked Axel, catching the bag with one hand. “No goodbye kiss? Don't you love me anymore?”

 

Reno guffawed out loud in the hallway at that, one hand yanking open the door with a creaky squeak. Vincent scowled and glared, not that Axel was intimidated. Instead, the firestarter laughed and headed towards the door himself, idly sniffing at the brown bag in his clutch. “Aw, a home cooked meal,” he teased, throwing the words over his shoulder while Reno snickered in the doorway. “I'll be sure to bring some flowers on the way home from work, honey. Don't wait up.”

 

He could practically see Vincent's scowl even as he closed the door behind him, jogging to catch up to Reno who was snickering just down the hall, hands in his pockets as he waited, leaning up against the wall. “You enjoy pushing him, don't you?” questioned Reno with a smirk as Axel drew up beside him. “One day, he's going to snap at you and I'm going to laugh my ass off.”

 

Axel waved a hand of dismissal, the two of them entering into the lobby of Vincent's apartment complex. “Nah, Vince loves me. He couldn't make it unless I was here to entertain him.” He smirked.

 

Reno stared at him for a moment before barking out laughter, startling the receptionist sitting behind the Welcome desk in the lobby of the apartment building as they passed. “I knew it was a good idea to send you to him. Maybe he'll get that stick outta his ass, yo.” He peered at Axel, tilting his head to the side as if suddenly recalling something. “Weren't those hickeys I caught earlier?”

 

Emerald eyes narrowed as Reno laughed and Axel thought it appropriate to smack the back of the older man's head again. “Don't be ridiculous. He forced me to spar with him last night. Said I was `out of shape',” he explained, mimicking Vincent's tone with the last three words.

 

“You got your ass kicked, didn't you?” questioned Reno, peering at him intently.

 

The firestarter shrugged. “Ass kicking doesn't even begin to describe it. Half those moves I barely saw much less countered.” He sighed, rubbing a hand over the scratchy material of his clothing, fidgeting beneath the extra warmth. Outside, it was raining again, thick continuous drops that pelted on his head in a most annoying fashion. He didn't even bother to hunch at the dripping coldness anymore. What was the point?

 

They had taken a right out of the apartment building, Axel could only assume that the gate was in that direction. As it were he had no clue where they were going. He hadn't paid any attention to street signs yesterday, or landmarks for that matter, more consumed with his own internal thoughts.

 

“He's got to have some military training or something,” commented Axel, picking up where he left off. He snorted. “Not that he tells me these things. I swear, he really needs to get fucked. We've got to get off this world.”

 

Reno adjusted his glasses on his face, pushing the darkened lenses further upwards and pushing more of the red hair out of his eyes. “You know, it would not be uncommon to find someone here, yo,” he explained casually, almost as if he were hinting something.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

He shrugged, side stepping a passing stranger that wandered too close. “Even for those who have their memories, it's sometimes hard to wait forever. There's comfort in sharing your pain. Hell, even I've given in to the temptation once.” He shook his head, aquamarine eyes dimming with sadness. “Every day we face the chance that we are going to die before we are reunited. We face the loss of ourselves and sometimes, our humanity. There have been times I've feared that I'm no longer... alive.” He idly flicked his long pony tail, wringing some of the water from the never ceasing rain out of the crimson strands.

 

Axel was quiet, merely absorbing what Reno was telling him, his words striking a chord inside the firestarter.

 

“Memories are fleeting and once... I've nearly forgotten my name. It takes a strong person to survive here and sometimes you need just a little something... comfort, I don't know what you'd call it. But Vincent, he's different.” Reno shook his head. “Not once have I ever seen him accept so much as I hug and I've been here for nine years. I don't know how much more than that it's been for him. Maybe it's time that he finally stops suffering alone.”

 

Axel frowned, brow furrowing in confusion, hoping that Reno wasn't saying what he thought the older man was insinuating. “What are you saying?”

 

“I'm saying that he acts differently around you,” Reno pointed out, the Electro Rod slung across one shoulder as he walked. Rather than dismiss his weapon like Axel, Reno preferred to keep it out in the open, like a security blanket. “He's been alone for a long time, I can guess as long as he's been here. He's strong but... this place isn't exactly paradise. Sooner or later he is going to break and right now, he doesn't have anyone to pick up the pieces.”

 

Axel made a noncommittal noise in the back of his throat, half considering what Reno was trying to imply. So what if Vincent acted differently around him? That was the winged man's prerogative. That didn't automatically mean that the dark-haired man was looking for something in Axel. Maybe he just liked Axel as a friend.

 

“And if I'm not mistaken, the attraction is there, yo.”

 

“Why are you pushing this?” questioned Axel, turning his head to glare directly at the red-haired male.

 

Reno shrugged. “Because I know it's something you both want, even if you aren't saying it. Sometimes, a distraction is enough to keep your sanity, if only for a little while longer.”

 

Emerald eyes widened. Had Reno just accused him of unfaithfulness, of wanting to forget about Roxas? As if he could just cast the blond Nobody aside. Roxas was his heart! Hadn't he made that clear enough? Axel's hands unconsciously clenched at his side.

 

“I won't betray Roxas!” he snapped through clenched teeth, sweeping his angered gaze over the nameless faces that milled robotically around them. “I might not understand what I feel for Roxas but I know this! I would never—“

 

Reno's eyes narrowed in anger as he shoved his way past Axel, planting himself directly before the younger man and causing them both to grind to a halt. “Look!” he snapped, aquamarine eyes flashing dangerously. “I love Rude,” he said, enunciating the words and waving a hand for emphasis. “There's not a day that goes by where I don't think about him, not a night where I don't beg my subconscious mind to let me dream of him.”

 

He poked at Axel with a sharp finger, a motion that was surprisingly painful and shocking the firestarter with his intensity and sheer... anger. Emotions that Axel still wasn't used to dealing with. He fell silent in the face of them, unable to say anything as Reno continued, the shine of unshed tears making Axel shift uncomfortably in his stance.

 

“Before I met him, I was nothing and without him, I'm still nothing!” declared Reno passionately. “And yes, I haven't been completely celibate while I was here. Every time I ended up more lonely and hollow than before because it wasn't him but it was a way! To remember, to escape, fuck I don't know.” He paused, taking a deep breath as he tried to compose himself. Reno half turned his head to the side, looking at some unknown point before eyeing Axel from the corner of his vision.

 

“What happens on Gaia, stays on Gaia. Remember that before you start judging. And don't you ever doubt my heart. My reason for living is just as valid as your own.”

 

Axel chewed the inside of his cheek, feeling as if he had just been scolded. “I'm not judging. I”m just...” he trailed off, the words not coming out as he meant them to. “I'm sorry,” he finally stated, scrubbing a hand through his hair. “I didn't mean it the way it sounded. I just... I think you're wrong about him, okay? Me and Vincent... we're just friends.”

 

Reno sighed before shaking his head, moving to the side so that he and Axel could continue walking. They were going to be late enough as it was. “I didn't mean to snap at you either, yo,” he said by way of apologizing. “There's something about this world. It's not tangible but it's there, if that makes any sense. I can't even explain it.”

 

“Don't bother,” responded Axel with a dismissing wave of his hand. “I know exactly what you mean.” Gaia's Grotto left him reeling, jumping from one extreme to the next. It seemed he couldn't ever get a grip on his emotions. He was always either moping about depressed, or incensed to anger, enough that he desired to run around setting fire to all in his sight, laughing manically along the way.

 

Something about the world pulled at him, made him feel as if conforming was the only path and there were days that thoughts flitted into his head. Thoughts that he knew weren't his own. Suggestions wound about casually, seducing him with offers that, if he hadn't known better might have actually worked. Become one with Gaia, join in the flock, become a part of the family. Only, they failed to mention that it was a family of mindless zombies going through a meaningless, robotic existence. Must have slipped their minds.

 

There were also the times when he woke up in the morning, that brief moment of panic where he struggled to recall who and why he was. That had been his fate during the middle of the previous night, when he had awoken with an urgency in his bladder. It was only the glint of his memento that brought him to sanity. The Oblivion key chain quickly became his life line and he slept with it in his hand the remainder of the night, the sharp edges a stark reminder.

 

It was like Vincent had said, the shadow beasts that skulk about in the darkness, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. He couldn't see them or feel them, but he knew they were there. They hungered for his memories. And he gave them what they wanted, offering up any and everything that wasn't precious. Roxas... and even some of Demyx he kept, but anyone else was sacrificed. The other Nobodies, he scarcely remembered them anymore nor did he particularly care. It didn't matter what he gave up, so long as he didn't forget ocean-blue eyes and sun-kissed hair. Sarcastic biting remarks and getting his ass kicked by an uppity boy at least three years his junior.

 

Vincent... was another matter and entirely not up for discussion. At least, this was what Axel told himself. He and the winged man were friends, nothing more and nothing less. Vincent was pining after a memory he refused to speak of, and Axel was hoping for a chance he had been previously denied. There wasn't room for companionship.

 

And even if Reno were right, Vincent wouldn't look to him for comfort. Axel was the least choice for the job. Besides, they didn't exactly get along like whipped cream and pie. They argued and fought and sniped at each other. Not exactly the components of a perfect relationship. Vincent was too strong for what Reno suggested. He didn't doubt the Reno's love for Rude but... the devotion he had seen in Vincent's eyes, it was the same that echoed inside of Axel.

 

Still, if Vincent asked him, what would he say? What would he do? It was something for further contemplation. Not that he believed that the winged man would ask for something so personal but.... gah, he was going about it in circles. There was no need to even consider it even further. Vincent wasn't going to and that was that. Besides, if Axel had anything to say about it, they wouldn't be on Gaia's Grotto much longer.

 

“Has Ceran explained anything about the daily life of a Gaian?” questioned Reno, breaking into Axel's inner thoughts. He had reverted to calling them by their Council-given name as well, a smart move considering that they were in the public eye. If the bee-like drones of the masses could be considered cognizant enough to recognize any mistakes.

 

Axel shook his head. “He said he would leave that particular joy up to you.” He was dying to ask Reno about Rude, now that the older male had let it slip. But for once, he restrained himself, recognizing that the moment might not have been the best. Instead, like with Vincent, he filed away the information for later perusal, waiting for a better chance to spring it on his unsuspecting victim. Though he believed Reno would be a lot more forthcoming with the information than Vincent. Especially since the dark-haired man had never once let anything slip.

 

“Figures,” muttered Reno under his breath. He sighed loudly, an overexageratted motion before slinging an arm over Axel's shoulder and causing the younger man to look at him. Reno grinned. “See, Abarai, it's like this. Here on Gaia, you don't actually earn money.” He stuck out a pale wrist, shaking down his cuff until his skin was visible and showing it to Axel. “When you were in the Cleanser, a magical spell embedded an invisible rune in your skin. It can be read at any store. Food, clothing, restaurants, etc. Not that there are really any choices around here.”

 

“Wait,” Axel interrupted holding up a hand. “You mean that there is a spell burned into my flesh that I can't see?” he questioned, attempting to look at the inside of his own wrists. They didn't appear any different than usual. He rubbed a thumb over first one than the other, frowning when he found nothing.

 

Reno nodded, using his free hand to tap Axel's left wrist directly over the pulse point and where the spell was laid. “Can't feel it either, yo. But the machines can. They read what you've earned and take it out accordingly. And everything's equal here. From the janitor to the Gatherer, all are paid the same wages.”

 

“That's stupid.” Axel snorted as he scowled. “What's the point of education?” He paused as he reconsidered, cocking his head to the side. “Is there even any education? Or kids for that matter? Do people reproduce in this hellhole?”

 

“There are those that we call naturals, people born on this planet and have lived here their whole lives,” explained Reno, releasing Axel's wrist as he undraped himself from the younger man's body and jammed his hands into his pocket, interspersing whistles with his clarifications of the rules of Gaia. “Not a lot, but more and more each day. Education is the basics: writing, arithmetic, critical reading skills, yo. But history, science... anything that involves creative thought, they're nonexistent.”

 

“A damn dictatorship. That's what this place is. Some kind of tyrannical dictatorship,” muttered Axel under his breath, gaze falling to the side where he took in the motions of all the strangers walking by with their muted colors and emotionless faces. It made his gut twist and his heart shudder.

 

Reno hmm'ed thoughtfully, tilting his head back to look up at the sky, ignoring the water that splashed onto his face and into his eyes. “We all have our theories, about why Gaia exists. Personally, I think that we are all rats in a big scientific experiment. Vincent thinks we are being trained to produce the perfect servant, mindless soldiers for an army unlike anything the universe has seen. If you question them, if you show any sign of being what they haven't trained you to be, you disappear.”

 

“How many are there?”

 

“Not as many as you would think. Less than fifty.”

 

Axel's jaw dropped. He had suspected more. Gaia was a big planet after all, and from what he could see, the town stretched for miles in all directions. The sheer mass of people that milled about... statistically, it made little sense. If every Nobody and every Heartless not restored by the key blade came to Gaia... then why weren't there more that remembered? Had all living beings truly lost their passion? So much so that they could not find anything to cling to? It was a sobering thought.

 

“You're surprised,” commented Reno. “Don't be.” He shrugged. “Besides, for all we know, there are others in hiding, keeping their memories in secret solitude. It's dangerous to move as a big group or become to affiliated. As it is, I know only four personally, including you and Vincent.”

 

“What about relationships? Dating? Shit like that? Do they stop people from that kind of thing?” The minute he asked, he knew he shouldn't have, judging by the evil glint that suddenly appeared in Reno's eyes. He mentally slapped himself across the forehead, knowing how the rod-wielder would interpret that. Before Reno could even open his mouth, Axel gave the older male a rude shove with his shoulder and poked him ruthlessly in the soft flesh of his arm.

 

“Don't even say it, Daunte!” he warned, narrowing his eyes as Reno yelped in surprised pain, rubbing at the sore spot on his arm. “Just answer the damn question. No more thinly concealed insinuations.”

 

Reno blew out a breath of air, cutting his eyes at his younger companion and slipping out a foot, tripping Axel when the firestarter didn't notice. As Axel stumbled, Reno snickered. “No poking, yo,” he ordered. “I'm delicate.”

 

Axel scoffed, quickly recovering from the near-fall. “Delicate, my ass. You might look like a girl but I ain't about to treat you like one.”

 

“Hey, I resent that!” protested Reno. “Besides, you don't have to be straight in this place. They don't care who you have relations with, so long as you don't show any real emotion.” He side-stepped another pedestrian before nudging Axel to the right, idly directing him towards the gate. Though at the pace they were going it was likely both of them were going to be late for work.

 

The firestarter stared at Reno, unamused by the older male's knack for randomly inserting important facts into the middle of an entirely unrelated conversation. It was amazing that anything the cocky man had to say was coherent, also considering that annoying `yo' he tended to tack onto the end of random sentences. He poked Reno again, just to aggravate him, smirking when Reno smacked his hand away with the butt of the Electro Rod.

 

“Is there anything else I need to know that you have still refrained from telling me?” questioned Axel, folding his arms over his chest.

 

Aquamarine eyes sparkled. “Yeah,” responded Reno with a snort, flicking imaginary lint from his shoulder where Axel had poked him. Not that it did much good considering they were both semi-wet from the rain. They weren't completely soaked because it seemed that the scratchy and heavy clothing had threads of water deterrent, thus the uncomfortableness.

 

“Oh? And what would that be?” demanded Axel with thinly restrained impatience.

 

Reno shrugged, the perfect picture of nonchalance. “Oh, I dunno. That in about five minutes we're both going to be officially late to work.” He pretended to check an imaginary watch on his wrist. “Yep, definitely five minutes, yo.”

 

Emerald eyes widened. “Whaaaaat?”

 

He wondered if there was a penalty for choking people to death on Gaia.

 

- - -

 

A/N: Thanks for reading! I hope you're still enjoying! Let me know if anyone's getting out of character or if you have any pairings that I haven't otherwise stated. I might be able to work them in the later chapters. Let's see... Demyx, Zexion, Xemnas, Saix, Roxas, Cid, Vincent, Sora, Riku, Axel... yep, that's all I've picked so far. The others are fair game though! I'm open to suggestions!