Kingdom Hearts Fan Fiction ❯ Heart and Soul ❯ Heart and Soul ( Chapter 1 )

        Background:  A certain someone (who I am rather certain would not want their name attached to this *grin*) requested Demyx/Axel.  I had no idea how the hell to do that, so a few random sentences waited for me on the hard drive for some weeks.  And then this happened.  It was supposed to be lighter, too... a little making out and whatnot.  Well, um... I failed miserably.  That's not to say I don't still love this, but... geez.  Apparently I can find angst and darkness anywhere.  Whoo hoo!
 
 

      &n bsp; Just another day in the World That Never Was... and Axel was bored.  Damn bored.  Not to mention pissed off.  Roxas just up and leaving like that... little bastard.  He'd chosen a nice, dark alleyway--one of many nice, dark alleyways--to brood in, hoping not to be interrupted.

        He really should have known better.  If anyone would be likely to fully interrupt his "moods", it would be Demyx.  Axel knew it was the musician long before he actually saw him strolling around the corner.  A little skip in his step.  Whistling, happily... quite idiotically, really...

        The footsteps stopped.  He must have noticed the brooding redhead.  "And what are you doing here?"  The grunt and mumble he got answered enough.  "Ah.  Being grumpy."

        "Not grumpy."  Axel complained quietly.  "Go away."

        Demyx grinned brightly.  "Oh, Mr. Grouchy probably just needs some company."

        "If you wandered out here to get your ass kicked..." the pyro warned.

        It went unheeded, as always.  "I'm kinda bored, actually."

        Axel made a scoffing sound.  "So you sought me out for amusement.  I'm honored.  But, as you pointed out... I'm grumpy.  Go away."

        "I'll cheer you up."  The musician offered--suddenly standing very close.

        What an... odd look the redhead was getting.  It was kinda freaky.  Freakier than Saix on a "good day".  When Demyx actually took another step closer, Axel found himself a lot more freaked out.  "Whoah, wait a minute."  What to say, what to say...  "I'll scream."  Exactly one second later, he felt the overwhelming urge to slap himself on the forehead with the palm of his hand.  Way to go.  Now I sound like a girl.  And a really annoying girl, at that.

        "Oh, no one's gonna hear you."  The other teased, pressing closer.  Too close.  Way too close.

        Axel couldn't help but be a little surprised.  --Alright, a lot surprised.  Demyx was so... he was such a... he didn't strike one as...  He just wasn't really dominating material.

        The blond chuckled quietly at the exceedingly shocked look he was getting.  "Come on.  It's not like you want to get away or anything."

        "Now how the hell do you know that?" the fire mage challenged, hoping to distract the guy enough to run away to a nice, safe, comfy tunnel o' darkness.

        Demyx paid no attention to the attempted escape.  "I know, I know.  You're not used to giving in.  Well, tough.  Shut up for once."

        It wasn't like him at all.  Not that Axel really got to know the guy all that well, but... enough.  He never fought for fun, never called anyone a nasty name... certainly never approached someone who'd never shown interest.  And especially never reached up without permission--"What's under that coat, huh?" the musician teased, taking hold of Axel's zipper, but not yet pulling.

        Nothing.  He wore nothing but pants under the coat.  His mind raced.  Too weird, too weird--had to think of something.  "We'll get caught!"

        "Lame, Axel."  Demyx chided, starting the zipper in a very, slow, descent.  "You know everybody's schedule.  I know you do.  That's how you sneak around so easily."

        Uh... oh.  "Then how do you know we're not about to be caught?"

        "Because I've been sneaking around watching you."  He tossed back easily, at once looking innocent and devious.  "And to think the rest of you are wasting all your time fighting."

        Shit shit shit.  Not that it wasn't tempting to get a little action, sure, but... something was feeling off.  Extremely off.  Like Saix in a good mood kind of off.  "Look, um... let's not... ruin our friendship."  There was that urge to facepalm again...

        It only drove the zipper down further as the amusement brightened on Demyx's face.  "Oh?  Are we really friends?"

        Panic.  Breathe.  Plan.  Get away.  Axel laughed nervously.  "Nah.  I just said that to get you to stop."

        The silly smile faded entirely as the zipper stopped just short of letting the coat fall open.  "It's not like I don't have feelings, y'know."

        The pyro had to pause with the insanity of that statement.  "Actually, it kinda does, considering we all--"

        "Explain the little golden boy, then."  The musician interrupted, straight-faced.  Way too seriously.

        Roxas?  Well, the answer was obvious.  "He's different."

        Demyx rolled his eyes a little.  "I wasn't exactly talking about him, here."

        Then what--  "Oh."  So.  Apparently he and Roxas weren't exactly a secret.

        "Okay, fine."  The blond dismissed, shrugging a bit and suddenly regaining the good humor that seemed so far away just seconds before.  "So 'emotion' might not be entirely... honest.  But I think we all know we can still feel pleasure.  So c'mon."  With one more very slight tug of the zipper, the coat easily parted.  Well, with no shirt... next step.  "Off with the pants."

        Sure moved quickly for a musician, didn't he...  "Why don't you find someone else a little more... your speed?"

        "My speed?  Afraid no one in there comes with a 'moderately sane switch'."

        Axel chuckled.  Hey, it was true.  "Look, uh... can I take a rain check, then?  I've got stuff to do and--"

        The redhead became quite puzzled when his words had suddenly stopped.  Or perhaps a more proper description was, the words had been knocked from him.  The confusion blended into an instantaneous headache as he stared at the blond, wide-eyed.  He'd just been slammed against the wall.  Rather hard.  By Demyx.  "I thought you were a pacifist."

        "So did I."  He responded, honestly enough.  "Now do I have to beat you over the head with my sitar and drag you back to my place or what?"

        "How very caveman of you."  The redhead mumbled, rubbing the back of his head.  His shoulders weren't exactly feeling so hot, either.

        There wasn't really an instant when the normally timid and somewhat idiot-like man snapped.  The patience simply seemed to drain from him until it was gone completely--he grasped Axel by the collar and hauled him up high, giving him another firm slam against the wall for good measure.  "Pants.  Off.  Now."

        Even considering the circumstances, the fire mage had to wonder out loud, "Why don't you take care of it?"

        No smiles, no shy grins--no emotional at all.  "What do I look like?  A sexual deviant?"

        Axel thought it smarter not to call his hairstyle into question.  It was an... interesting response, though.  For once, someone in the Organization wanted something consensual.  Well... as long as they were both gonna get something out of it...  He pretended like he wasn't hanging a few inches off the ground, unzipping his pants and letting them drop.

        Finally, Demyx let him down.  "Leave the boots."  He gave a dismissing wave to Axel's raised eyebrow.  "Just takes too long to lace up again."

        "How thoughtful of you."  The other mumbled, letting his coat fall of of his shoulders before stepping out of the pants.  What the hell, might as well go all-out.  Except for the boots.  That was kinda funny.  Or would be, at some later point in time.

        The musician undressed quickly, betraying his need to accomplish the task at hand.  The puzzling thing: he kept the gloves on.  That thought nearly made Axel miss his instruction.  "Turn around."

        He swallowed.  Well... he'd never been fucked against a wall before.  Might be kind fun.  Might hurt like hell.  Somehow it really didn't seem the smartest thing to be debating at that very moment.  He had the overwhelming feeling that looking over his shoulder... would not be good.  "Off" no longer held enough meaning to describe the situation...

        Demyx not-so-lightly kicked Axel's feet apart.  "Farther."  He ordered, strangely determined.

        Yeah.  Uh-oh.  The redhead opened his mouth, his mind racing to find something to say that might get him out of this mess--feeling something not entirely familiar and far too warm against the small of his back.  Pressing, grinding, sliding lower...  Panic, again.  Nervousness.  He didn't mean to..?  "You're... you wouldn't..?"

        There was silence, at first... a long, cold silence.  The musician finally moved, pulling away just long enough to retrieve something from his coat pocket, coating his gloved fingers.  "Now would I do that to you?"

        Honestly, he didn't know.  And he sure as hell didn't want to admit that.  He cringed; not at the sudden, forced acceptance of a single finger pushed into him, but the voice.  It just... it wasn't Demyx's voice.  It was, but it... couldn't have been.  Too frozen, too tired.  Too everything the man wasn't.

        Two fingers, too quickly--but Axel didn't dare complain.  He suddenly truly felt that wall in front of him, the thought of escaping drowned out by some coiled, shivering fear inside.  He didn't know what it was and certainly never wanted to, feeling a sort of darkness rolling off of the man behind him that wasn't anything he'd ever experienced before.

        The fingers scissored; stretching, pulling, rough before being removed entirely.  There was impatience, there... a different sort of panic.  The redhead grit his teeth when the tearing stab of heat came, not entirely being prepared for it mentally or physically.  Pain, he could deal with.  Blood... Nobodies didn't bleed, really.  They did tear, though.  They did rip.  There was only enough lubrication between them to raise sensation... and ease the burden, a little.

        Axel didn't really think the guy ever had it in him.  Even as he felt hips slamming against the backs of his own, he just... couldn't bring himself to believe what Demyx was doing.

        It became especially surreal when the musician gasped out the words, quietly, reverently, "Y'ever do this with Roxas?"

        Realization hit a hell of a lot harder than he'd thought possible.  "You're jealous."  The redhead accused.  But... of which one..?

        "Don't be silly."  A little bit of the Demyx he knew, again.  "I'd need a heart for that."

        Fear.  That was... that was definitely what he was feeling.  Or at least what he remembered feeling.  Fear and... sickness... discomfort... being forced to see... forced to face something he'd rather have denied...

        Then the thrusts turned violent, pressing the body pinned beneath him against the harsh, cutting brick wall.  "You know what it's like to have everything stolen from you, Axel?  Everything?"

        He felt sick.  He didn't want to hear it.  He didn't want to answer.  He was cold and aching and dammit he didn't want to know let alone think about it...

        "Did you have a good life before Darkness showed up one day and tore it all apart in front of you?  Did anyone die screaming for you and you just couldn't reach them?"

        Axel's eyes were already squeezed shut, but he wished for something more.  Something that would take away the pain he wasn't even feeling any longer.  There was an open wound behind him, thrusting violently into him, open and scarred and never able to heal regardless of not having a heart...

        "I fought.  I actually fought the Heartless.  And look what good it did me.  They took more than my heart, Number Eight.  My fucking soul is gone."

        The fire mage lost track--of everything.  Time, the agony inside and outside, the number of thrusts, words, panting.  He only knew of the sudden hitch in breath behind him, then stillness.  Quiet.  But it wasn't over... and no one was sated in the least.  The man behind him could only stand there, leaning against the warmth he had to offer.  And then... there was something else.

        A mantra, a prayer repeated over and over with every breath; and if Axel hadn't known those words so well for himself, whispered in the dark every night after Roxas had left, he absolutely never would have heard them at all.  "I want it back... I want it back... I want it back..."

        Even with the power he'd just held over Axel, the blond felt so... broken...  The redhead fought down the urge to turn and embrace his slackened attacker... if only because he himself wanted it so badly.  And no, one did not give in to those urges.  One did not pretend compassion.

        Finally, the musician pulled away, pulling his clothes back on with the same swiftness as he'd gotten them off--but without the grace.  Lacking desire entirely.

        Carefully, still pressed against the wall and having absolutely no will to do anything else, Axel finally looked over his shoulder.  It was a weird question... one he knew he shouldn't be asking.  "Why?"

        Even with that sweet, silly smile back in place... the words dripped a darkness all their own.  "Well.  If I can't get what I want... then I'll take what I can get.  See you 'round."  He gave a wave... then walked back to wherever he'd come from.

        A musician... an artist without a heart... it had to be awful even if he couldn't feel it.  Not that Axel had any empathy.  He just couldn't afford it.

        He could ignore how his hands shook as he dressed.  But he found that there was no way to suppress that... ranting.  Those words... cut deep to the core.  Too deep to ever fully forget.

        Maybe Demyx had a point.  The bastard really was heartless.

        This is so not at all what I was aiming for. *grin*  But I like it.  I do like it.  You know what they say... the closer you get to light...

        If you'd like to be e-mailed when I update, drop me a line (orin(at)sephain.com) with whatever story/stories/website you'd like me to inform you of.