Kingdom Hearts Fan Fiction ❯ Heart and Soul ❯ Heart and Soul: Horizon ( Chapter 2 )
A conversation... some concern...
Non Anime: Kingdom Hearts Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Shounen | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 06.11.2006 | Pages: 1 | Words: 2.2K | Visits: 352 | Status: Completed
Background: A second chapter of this was certainly unexpected. Of course, Demyx/Axel wasn't exactly expected, either... and unfortunately for some, this chapter has no sex. No warnings except maybe language and some bizarre concepts. In general.
Heart and Soul: Horizon
by Orin Drake
&n bsp; Just another night. Or day. Or... or whatever the hell. It's not as if anyone could tell by the sky. Not as if anyone ever actually bothered to look at the sky all that often, anyway. Nothing to see there but some ridiculous dream that damn well didn't matter anymore.
The fire mage was just starting to settle into his comfortably dismal mood when a too-chirpy voice interrupted. "Feelin' lonely?"
"No." He denied immediately, bothering neither to turn and attack the approaching figure nor throw himself off of the building he was perched on. He was just in too foul a mood to care.
"Yes you are." The extremely wide smile was felt before it was seen. Demyx invited himself to sit beside the brooding redhead, similarly looking out at the dark streets.
Axel was not amused. Though... well, at least it would shatter the boring silence. And then some. "Does alcohol work on Nobodies?" He could really have used something to stop the thoughts for a while. Fire and violence just weren't cutting it. Not to mention, he'd been informed that if he set one more thing on fire that was not "regularly on fire", Saix was going to do something unrepeatable to areas he'd rather not have handled quite that roughly.
"Dunno." The musician shrugged, stretching his legs out, off the side of the rooftop. "Never tried."
Annoyance turned to curiosity almost too quickly for his comfort. "As in never-never, or just as a Nobody?"
"Never-never." He responded, still smiling. "When you see so many really talented musicians go down because they turned out to be lushes... well. No thanks. I'd rather not chance it."
That was... funny, really. Or Axel thought so. "Yeah, but... doesn't matter now, does it?"
The blonde's standard blissfully moronic expression slipped, just a little. "Guess not." He made an effort to grin. "Got a bar around here?"
He truly wished he hadn't been looking, hadn't witnessed what could really pass for emotions running across the other's face... it was making Axel extremely uneasy. Not to mention... it was bringing back memories from an encounter not that long ago. Despite his brain screaming against it... he wanted to ask. He had to ask. "Hey, uh... A few days back, when... yeah. And you were... you said... some things..."
The over-compensation for the shivering discomfort was palpable--but Demyx seemed to have a practiced hand at distraction and denial. "Anything good?"
Unfortunately for the both of them, the redhead had the market of distraction and denial somewhat cornered. The game ended immediately with the narrowing of his eyes. "Dammit, you know what I'm talking about." For one, quiet instant, he considered stopping if only to spare the feelings of those wide blue eyes staring back at him--but they were Nobodies. Just Nobodies. "All that shit you dumped on me! About your Other's life. About what you lost. Why did you have to do that? Why do you just go on pretending like anything matters, like we could ever feel anything now?"
The musician looked away slowly, staring down at the street below with several minutes of thoughtful silence. When he finally responded, it was a soft, quiet bomb. "You've got to stop buying the Superior's shit, Axel."
The fire mage was far more taken aback by the blond's language than his verbal mutiny. He opened his mouth to question further, but thought better of it when their eyes met again.
"Admit it." Demyx implored, softly. "You feel. Maybe not everything... not all the way, but... there's something there."
The redhead could definitely feel Roxas' name in the other's throat... glad it went unspoken. It was a point made, regardless. "What if there is?"
"Then we have hearts." The musician insisted. "We're not... nobodies."
"But we're not..." Axel searched for a word that might be suitable to describe their state of being. "Whole..."
"True." He conceded. "But we're not nothing, either."
There was a long silence. One that felt so immense that the redhead became uncertain of whether anyone could break it... but finally he gained the courage to try. "Why are you even talking to me, anyway?"
Demyx shrugged without looking at him, smiling... though his usual expression was faltering quite a bit. "Guess I'm just... kinda dumb, huh?"
That's what everyone thought. What everyone said, constantly. But the redhead... was learning better of it. Much better. Sure the kid was clumbsy--he didn't want to fight and often it seemed like he really did have the mind and maturity level of a slightly retarded child, but... "No." He responded, almost too quiet to hear. "I don't think you are."
Another silence grew between them--but not so tense. Not as insurmountable and vast. "Oh." The blond spoke at last, seeming nearly... worried.
"It's not like I'll tell anyone." Axel assured, not particularly certain why he was bothering. "Hell, I wish I'd thought of that. Acting like a moron so they'd leave me the fuck alone."
He seemed appreciative of the idea, leaning back on his elbows and gazing at the sky for a moment. "I think we're kinda similar." Demyx finally answered the earlier question, about why he was talking to the pyro in the first place. "I think... Roxas was, too." The smile fell completely from his voice, but not from his lips. "Just... didn't get to say so. Now it's too late. Again."
"Again"..? --Oh. The redhead got the distinct impression the words that had spilled so bitterly from Demyx's lips during that "meeting" in the alleyway had something to do with it. He'd spoken of his life being torn apart... people screaming for him that he couldn't save... it gave him the shudders. He purposely kept his past as a "full-hearted somebody" locked away, repressed. He didn't want to remember.
And then there was that... other thing the musician had to be called out on. "You were hoping to... be with us?"
"Dumb, like I said." That fake plastered smile was getting a little painful. "Can't help wishful thinking sometimes."
Axel felt chilled, suddenly. "Wish you'd said something."
No, the blonde was no stranger to heartache... but neither was he a stranger to covering it all up and trying with blood-slicked and desperate hands to grasp on to another moment. Perhaps a better moment. Humor returned, though tentative. "Yeah, me too!"
He really couldn't help but grin a little... but it dissolved quickly. "I think... Roxas would have left no matter what. It's just who the kid was. But... but at least we could have... y'know." He didn't want to get all sappy, after all. "And now... now I think we're all gonna die."
That appeared to be no jarring revelation to Demyx. "Yeah?"
"Yeah."
The musician wished vaguely for a sunrise... or a sunset... A distant, perfect thing of beauty to gaze at with dying dreams. "Are we even alive to begin with?"
Axel snorted. "Hey, you're the one trying to convince me that we have hearts!"
"I know, I know!" he defended, chuckling. "I... I'm kinda... nervous about it." He swallowed, uncertain of whether or not to speak his thoughts... but really, he had no reason not to keep them silent. Axel had been the only one not to demand he shut up on a regular basis. "I mean... I want to think I'll find my heart... all of it... So I don't want to be turned into a Dusk, but... I know I'll just have to fight Sora at some point. A-and, I... I'm a little... I mean, I was never religious, but..."
"You're worried about your soul when you die."
Though he pretended not to be, Demyx was taken aback by how easily his concern had been grasped. "Yeah. How'd you know?"
The redhead shrugged, glancing at the heart-shaped moon that seemed to have everything to do with their destinies. "I guess I am, too."
The lump in the musician's throat was not fit for a heartless Nobody. "Oh. Well... make me a promise then?" He forced a chuckle when he realized how very final and serious he'd sounded. "I mean, you don't have to keep it... just lie to me here."
Axel's grin had never been so hard to maintain--but he was in good company. "Okay, then."
In truth, Demyx wasn't even sure what he was asking. He just knew it had to be expressed somehow. "Roxas is still part of Sora, so... if there's any way at all to help him..."
"Yeah." It was a sincere agreement, acknowledged by absolute silence.
They stayed there for a great while, staring at the place where they wished the sun would rise. Only when it became clear that no amount of wishing or hoping or vicious longing would bring the cosmos any closer, the musician lifted to excuse himself. "Well, I got another stupid mission. Something about stealing a stone in the underworld or... something. Catch ya later."
Nodding, the fire mage dismissed him with a small wave before returning his gaze to the horizon. Maybe... if he stayed just a little longer...
...I don't know. I just... don't know.
If you'd like to be e-mailed when I update, drop me a line (orin(at)sephain.com) with whatever story/stories/website you'd like me to inform you of.