Kingdom Hearts Fan Fiction ❯ Out of My Element ❯ Of The Heart, Emotions Break ( Chapter 20 )

Isn't this a treat, a double update! Also, you will bawl your eyes out if you read the part after Vanilla Twilight while listening to Kiss It All Better by He Is We… Not joking.

Chapter 20: Of The Heart, Emotions Break

It was Thursday by the time Axel fully recovered from the `celebration'. As it turns out, drinking whatever alcoholic drink set in front of you on an empty stomach is a very bad idea. For the rest of the night, Axel was very ill and also very drunk and the following day he was very hung over and very ill… And on Monday to Wednesday he was both sickened and sick from the drinks he had that Saturday. It was more of a mental thing that caused his stomach to turn every time he smelled or tasted anything that reminded him of the drinks, but that didn't comfort Axel any.

Being sickened by food and drink wasn't very conducive to studying for his tests. This meant Axel was more than a little stressed, which only made him sicker. Half the week was gone and he really needed to get a B or better on these next few tests.

Demyx had been more than understanding. Giving Axel his space, Demyx tried to stay out of the way the past couple of days and instead made it a point of enjoying their lunches together. Despite Roxas's warning, Axel continued to have lunch with Demyx but now opted to meet him at a nearby park where they would be a little less conspicuous.

Rubbing his neck, Axel groaned. He felt drawn out and tired. No matter how many times he went over it, he didn't feel like it was sinking in. Maybe he was over studying…

Axel jumped in his seat when two hands fell on his shoulders, “Axel… Maybe you should take a break. You've been studying non-stop for four days.” Demyx murmured. Giving Axel's shoulders a tentative squeeze he waited for Axel to reply.

Sighing, Axel bowed his head, “I really need to do well on this test and I've haven't been paying close attention in class…” Not exactly saying `no' but not saying `yes' either to Demyx's suggestion. Probably, this was because he knew Demyx was right. If he just kept racking his brain and studying like this, he would get nowhere fast. However, he was reluctant because as soon as he stopped, he'd feel like he wasn't doing anything to improve his score.

Patiently, Demyx began to massage Axel's shoulders, “Is it my fault?” He asked inquisitively and Axel could feel his shoulder sag.

“No…” He lied, hoping Demyx hadn't figured out any of his tells.

“Want to talk about it?”

“No…”

And Demyx dropped it like that, “All right.” But he didn't go away. His hands lowered, rubbing Axel's back. Pressing his thumbs into the tight muscles, Demyx methodically worked on the knots and smoothed them over with his palms. His hands, which Axel didn't think looked particularly masculine, were strong but yielding from years of playing the guitar and other various instruments. But there was something else… A knowingness that gave Axel the impression he did this a lot, but he didn't ask Demyx about it as he was far too concerned about the way it was currently making him feel.

Did he know?

With a quite moan, Axel lowered himself to lay over his books and papers, “Demyx, your hands work magic…” He murmured lazily trying to keep his breathing even. However, the more those hands ran over his sensitive back, the more labored his breathing became.

Demyx leaned over and breathed lightly down the back of Axel's neck, “Really? Just think of what else they can do.” Axel could practically hear the grin in Demyx's voice. Clearing his throat, Demyx moved away but kept his hands on Axel's back, “As I recall… Your hands weren't too bad either.” He mentioned casually as he grabbed Axel's shirt and pulled it up so he could place both hands on his bare back.

That just about did it. Sitting up, Axel finished removing the shirt. Breathing heavily, he looked over his shoulder, “Is that an invitation?” He asked. He wasn't going to argue about going `too fast' if Demyx was eager to get things moving.

Still grinning, Demyx wrapped his arms around Axel's waist, “Only if you want it to be, but…” He eyed Axel's studies as he slid his hands down Axel's stomach, “Weren't you studying.” Demyx asked as his right hand slipped between Axel's legs and cupped Axel's semi.

Breath hitching, Axel swallowed a moan, “I can…. Always continue later.”

“Good.” Demyx gave Axel a quick kiss and left the room with Axel in toe. When they got to the front room, Demyx gave Axel a shove to push him onto the couch. Then he continued to the door. Locking it, Demyx closed the blinds before returning, “That should keep the pests at bay.” He mentioned as he knelt on the floor in front of Axel, who'd sat up to watch him.

For a moment, Axel was a bit confused as to why Demyx wasn't up on the couch with him. However, Demyx cleared that right up as he sat on his heels to lean over and kiss down Axel's stomach. As he undid Axel's pants, Axel grew uncertain.

“Are… Are you sure?” Axel asked nervously feeling as though Demyx was getting the short end of the stick so to speak.

GRAPHIC CONTENT-

Demyx smiled at him, “I'm sure. My hands aren't the only things that can work magic.” Then he gave Axel's pants a confident and firm tug to get them just low enough that they were out of the way but not completely off either. His fingers played with the rim of Axel's boxers as he leaned in once more to kiss Axel's stomach. Gently, he dragged his tongue over the rarely touched skin, sending shiver up and down Axel's spine. Each kiss or caress of tongue made Axel hotter and lust for Demyx even more.

Not sure what to do with his hands, he placed one on Demyx's head, stroking his fingers through his hair, and gripped the armrest beside him with the other. He tried to think back, but he couldn't remember a time when he'd ever been, er, serviced before. A handjob here or there, yeah, but never this. Maybe it was strange, but that made him nervous. That nervousness, however, wasn't long lasting. When Demyx pulled down the last sheet of fabric between his lips and Axel's erection, the blonde's tongue dragged over the sensitive flesh without inhibition.

Axel's heart must have skipped a beat and his breath caught in his throat, “Oh… That's good.” Axel groaned. Closing his eyes, he let his head fall back. He wasn't sure he could handle watching, not with how good it already felt.

Smiling into his kisses, Demyx's lips trailed from base to tip before parting and slipping easily over the hard length. One hand moved from Axel's hips to help him as he gently sucked, bobbing his head slowly up and down. His tongue pressed hard against the sensitive flesh, flicking over the head and probing the slit- Fuck, where did Demyx learn this?

“Ah!” Axel couldn't suppress the soft cry that was wrung from his lips as Demyx gently grazed his teeth over his erection. Pulling back fully, Demyx kissed the tip and shifted his hand lower to caress his balls.

“Axel…” Demyx's soft voice startled him and opened his eyes. Looking down and Demyx, Axel swallowed hard. Smiling gently, Demyx tipped his head, almost so it rested on Axel's abdomen, “I want you to watch me.” He murmured, lips pressed against the side of the hard shaft of flesh.

“But…” Axel tried to object, but his voice was swallowed by another low moan as Demyx took him in his mouth again. His other hand moved to his aid now. Gripping the base firmly, he massaged Axel's balls as he worked him faster with his lips, “Oh shit…” Growled Axel in the back of his throat. Both hands on Demyx's head, he felt tension building in the pit of his stomach, “Harder.” He panted, mouth feeling dry and his head hazy.

Demyx was eager to please. Trading gentleness for firmness and urgency, he sucked harder moving his head down lower than before so the tip of Axel's erection tickled the back of his throat. What he couldn't cover with his mouth, he pumped with his right hand. Then he began to make low humming sounds that vibrated the back of his mouth.

“Ah!” It was almost too good to bear. Each twitch of Demyx's tongue or squeeze of his hand drew him closer to climax. His chest worked double, heart beating erratically in his chest, “So good…” He moaned, “I'm close.”

Briefly Demyx pulled back, “Say my name…” He ordered softly and patiently.

Axel met his eyes, “Demyx…” He murmured quietly as he loosened his grip on Demyx's hair so he could run his hands over the boy's cheeks. His heart screamed for him to say it, to sing it out to the world, but he left them to fester in his gut. Not yet…

Demyx smiled fondly. Closing his eyes, he tipped his head to press his face into Axel's touch. With a soft breath, he mouthed something that Axel couldn't hear. Axel was about to ask him to repeat but, once more, those lips were occupied. With the same vigor as before, Demyx sucked him hard, bobbing his head fast. His efforts focused on the sensitive tip, Demyx eagerly teased him, tongue pressing into the slit even harder.

His mouth was so hot and wet.

“Demyx,” Axel's voice was strained and, in response, Demyx made one of those deep hums. That was the last straw. Growing tense, Axel tossed his head back with a short cry of pleasure as he found release, “Demyx! Ah!” Pleasure shot through him, pulsing through him strongly and wildly. Shudders followed each wave as well as a sticky string of white seed, which caused Demyx to pull away.

Coughing just a little, Demyx continued to milk Axel of all he had, wetting his hand with the slick seed. When Axel relaxed and melted into the couch, Demyx kissed Axel's spent cock, then the tattoo on Axel's stomach.

END GRAPHIC CONTENT-

Back on his heels, Demyx sat up and wiped his lips with the back of his hand, “Feel better?” He asked with a knowing smile.

Axel, who couldn't be anymore relaxed, smiled back at him, “Much.” He confirmed. Hand cupping Demyx's face, he leaned forward and guided Demyx in for a kiss. Demyx's lips were salty and slightly swollen. And damn it, if that wasn't hot. Axel groaned quietly, hoping that once would be enough for tonight but he doubted his libido was listening.

Click…

Jerking away from the kiss, Axel looked towards the door. Didn't Demyx lock that? Unfortunately, who came through the door had a key and Axel's heart dropped like a lead ball in his stomach. Axel couldn't see behind those dark sunglasses, but from the way Rude stopped in the doorway, Axel knew he'd seen them. Reno bumped into Rude from behind and stumbled back and immediately Rude closed the door, effectively locking Reno outside.

“Please don't tell Reno.” Axel begged, his voice higher than he would have liked. Demyx was on his feet, wiping his hands on his pants. Demyx looked about as terrified as Axel felt.

Rude frowned seriously at them and from the other side of the door they could hear Reno, who tried the knob then knocked on the door, “Hey, Rude! I'm still out here, yo.” He called. Briefly, Rude looked over his shoulder.

“I have never lied to your brother.” He said, his deep voice sounding ominous in the quiet house. Axel stood and hastily pulled up his pants, Demyx hid a little behind him.

“Please Rude. I'm begging you.” Axel plead, “You wouldn't be lying, just don't say anything. Please.” Rude was silent, staring them down from behind his sunglasses. Then he nodded his head for them to go upstairs and the pair quickly followed his silent orders, each going to their own room.

Axel and Demyx didn't come down for dinner. When Reno came to check on them, Axel told him they weren't feeling well; they'd eaten something that morning that had made them both sick. Reno offered his condolences and wished him well before eating with Rude, probably something easier to cook that Rude could manage.

“The stars lean down to kiss you and I lie awake and miss you.
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere.
'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly but I'll miss your arms around me.
I'd send a postcard to you, dear, `cause I wish you were here.”

Axel stirred in his bed at the voice carrying through the house. It wasn't late and Axel had been trying to fall asleep ever since he heard Reno and Rude leave the house. Rolling over, he looked at the clock. Only 10:30pm… Reno wouldn't be back for another hour and a half but he was cautious about leaving his room still.

But, Demxy's voice called to him and he could not resist it, like a siren calls a fisherman to see. Slowly getting out of bed, he tread carefully to his door and down the hall to Demyx's room. He realized that he hadn't been in there for a long time… It felt strange to attempt to enter.

“I'll watch the night turn light-blue, but it's not the same without you.
Because it takes two to whisper quietly…”

Pushing open the door, Axel peered in and stopped to take everything in. The room was breathtaking. The walls looked to be painted in pale pastels, the ceiling lit up with glow in the dark stars and planets. On the walls, the paintings they'd done together were plastered to the wall with stickers. The floors and shelves were covered with Axel's old toys and the stuffed animals and trinkets they'd won at the festival. It might have been a mess if everything hadn't been placed specifically about the room.

Somehow… It made Axel feel regret, but he wasn't sure why.

Demyx lay on his bed, wearing just pajama pants, and he stared up as his ceiling. The open window let in a cool breeze that caused paper mobiles of dolphins and fish to spin. Only the moonlight and a small lamp covered in a blue shade illuminated the room. Hand stretched out before him, he looked through his fingers at the fake stars.

"The silence isn't so bad, `til I look at my hands and feel sad.
'Cause the spaces between my fingers are right where yours fit perfectly.”

Rolling onto his side, Demyx sighed heavily and covered his head with an arm.

“I'll find repose in new ways, though I haven't slept in two days.
'Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone.
But drenched in vanilla twilight, I'll sit on the front porch all night.
Waist-deep in thought because when I think of you I don't feel so alone.”

He curled up on his side and holding his stomach as though he felt as sick as Axel told Reno he did. But the sorrow in his voice made it clear that it wasn't physical pain that ailed him. With a soft sigh, Axel walked further into the room, carefully picking his way through the maze of toys on the floor.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Axel placed a hand on Demyx's shoulder. He didn't seem surprised that Axel was there and sat up. Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, Demyx sat hunched over, hands dangling between his knees. His head hung low and he didn't say anything. So Axel just rubbed his back comfortingly with a hand, waiting out the silence.

When Demxy broke the silence, he sounded hollow, “I was, uh, coming home from Sora's house. I'd stopped by after school to hang out, just goofing off, dumb stuff. But it was getting late and I didn't want to miss dinner… The sun was setting and it kind of cast this orange haze over everything. Everything was peaceful and quiet…” Demyx fiddled with his fingers, not looking up just talking, “Normal, you know.” He shrugged a little, “I was halfway there when I checked my phone. I must have left it on silent or something because I had this missed call and a voice message. I listened to it… Mom had called while I was there.” Breathing deep, Demyx rubbed his eye with his palm. He pressed hard, as if that would help the matter, “She, uh… She told me she was worried about me, I mean I didn't call to tell her where she was. I thought it was silly, of course. I mean, what was going to happen to me? I tried to call back but the line was busy and I figured I'd see her in a few minutes anyway.”

Demyx pulled his legs up onto the bed again and wrapped his arms around his knees. Lifting his head some, Axel could see Demyx eyes shine with un-fallen tears. Why was he telling him this?

“When I opened the door I called for her, saying I was sorry for not calling her. I didn't…” He stopped a moment, the words not forming properly in his head or on his lips. Closing his eyes tight, he swallowed hard, “I thought it was strange when she didn't answer and I called louder upstairs because she might be taking a bath. But she still didn't answer and I went up but she wasn't there… That was when I started to get this weird feeling,” He sat up, his voice growing tight. His brows furrowed together and he placed his hand on his chest. He tapped his ribs a moment, making an awkward clawing motion, “like the air had become heavier and I couldn't breathe it… And I couldn't breathe and I was scared…” His hand went to his face to cover his eyes, “And then I heard the dial tone of the phone in the kitchen… And-and there she was just… Just lying there... The phone next to her like she'd tried to make a call.”

Choking a little, Demyx stopped for a time. Head on his knees, he covered his head a moment as his body shook and trembled in silent sobs. Not knowing what else to do, Axel wrapped his arm around him and pulled him close. What was he supposed to say? That it wasn't his fault? Demyx knew that already….

Breathing deep, Demyx lifted his head. He wiped his tears away and looked straight ahead at nothing, “I don't remember getting there, but I was kneeling beside her. I thought `She fell, she's just-` I couldn't even think anything else could have happened… And I remember shaking her and yelling… Screaming at her to wake up, just hysterically screaming… I didn't…” His chest heaved moment in frustration as though he couldn't quite explain the conflict he'd felt, “I couldn't figure it out… Why she wouldn't wake up and why she just laid there in my arms… She was warm and she was breathing, but she just wouldn't… And I was s-so scared… So scared.”

“I thought `This can't be happening'. She was fine that morning. I mean, I'd just talked to her that morning, she'd just called…. I picked up the phone and dialed 911… But I was… I was crazy… Just screaming, over and over again… Screaming `she won't wake up' it was all I could do… I couldn't think to tell them where I was or who I was… Who she was… Just that she wouldn't wake up… And I kept saying `she's breathing, why won't she wake up'…” Tears finally spilled over his cheeks, but he didn't move to wipe them away. ”And I was holding her… My face in her hair as I cried… I was so scared.”

Closing his eyes, he took another steadying breath and pressed his cheek to his arm, “When they got there, they practically had to pull me off her… It was then that I realized I was shaking. I could barely stand, I shook so bad…. And I couldn't do anything except watch as they checked her pulse and her eyes… Asking her questions like she could hear them… Asking me questions, like I could understand them…”

“We were in the ambulance before I could even answer them… I told them who we were and that she seemed fine that morning… I told them that I came home to her lying there… But they couldn't tell me anything. They didn't know.” Shaking his head, Demyx rocked a little where he sat. Axel had seen Demyx cry, but this was so much different. This was something else. He looked as if all he'd ever known was that moment where his world crumbled, like he would never smile again.

“I was so scared… And they made me sit in the waiting room while they rushed her back for tests. And I remember sitting in that chair holding my head, rocking back and forth. What had I been doing when this happened? I felt so guilty for not being there… For not answering her call… For not telling her where I was… And I thought of how scared she must have been when it happened and wondered if she knew… If she knew what was happening… I hoped… I…” Demyx struggled for words again, “I sat there hoping that when they came back, she'd be standing there with them to tell me that everything was okay… But she wasn't…”

“The doctor started saying all these things I didn't understand, things about cancer and a tumor… How her blood pressure was dropping and I just didn't understand any of it.” Shaking his head, Demyx leaned against Axel, looking drained and exhausted, “And then he told me that… She wasn't going to wake up… And I knew that was it… I knew I'd lost her and I didn't have anyone. I cried so much that day… I just sat by her bedside and cried… And cried… And there was nothing I could do but watch her… And she was gone… And what was I supposed to do? I had no job… No money… I hadn't even finished school… And my friends… I couldn't face them, couldn't tell them what happened, tell them how much I blamed them for what happened, how much I blamed myself… And I was alone with the guilt and the blame… And the fear.”

Axel gently stroked Demyx's head and waited for him to continue, but the silence lingered on. Leaning over, he kissed Demyx's head. He didn't know what else to do. It was obvious that this wasn't something he could fix.

“Sometimes… When I close my eyes to sleep, I see her there… Lying on the kitchen floor and I feel like I live that day all over again when I do. I miss her so much Axel.” Turning fully, Demyx wrapped both arms around him and buried his face against his chest, “I miss her so much...”

Pulling Demyx down onto the bed, Axel wrapped Demyx up in his arms protectively, “Try to sleep… I'll be here when you wake.” He promised, “I'll be right here.”

And the drama is beginning…

I know, it was short, but it wasn't in the original design you see. However, I figured you guys were being so patient that you deserved a little treat. Plus I needed to kind of get in a little practice. It's been a long time since I've written one of those kinds of scenes and I may have gotten a little rusty. Crap, I can't decide who'll be on top. I had a good idea and now I just don't even know.

Expect next update between April 8 and April 14