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| "Out of My Element" Reviews/Comments [ 8 ] | Reviewed By: mariksplayfulkitty [MediaMiner Member] On: April 03, 2008 09:54 CDT
Comment/Review:
mmm!! helloz!! ur story is grrrrrreat!! i luv it, demyxXaxel=
| Reviewed By: Miss Shepherdess [MediaMiner Member] On: January 05, 2008 14:34 CST
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
You really have the gift of story-telling. You manage to make the characters real so that I care about what happens to them and I have to keep reading. Keep it up! *** There were a few things that you might like to take into consideration though, and first of them is formatting. Please make your text area a little bit thinnner so that it doesn't start directly at the left end of the page, that's a little trying for the eyes. *** Second is paragraph breaks. Please leave some space between your paragraphs. As it is, the text looks like a giant wall of writing that is very hard to follow. Also, please indicate the change of scene with something, a symbol or something like that. It was sometimes confusing when the scene had changed, but the reader didn't know that right away. *** Demyx said we were going to explore in the car So Demyx said that they were going to crawl around inside the car, exploring? nothing that smelled so good should be washed away. So somebody's washing away the thing that smelled good, not just the scent? ^___~ Be careful with how you construct your sentences! They'll become amusing sometimes if you're not, even if the reader understands what you meant. *** Then some personal opinions: Axel looked about wildly, trying to catch a glimpse of his fleeting nymph Please don't fall into this trap. If you call your guys and guys like DEMYX a nymph it's not descriptive, accurate or even funny. Is Demyx like a female spirit? At least I don't think so. Also, be very conservative with words like "angel" "minx" and "beauty". But you only used "angel" once and none of the others, so major props for that. *** Tai Quan Dou Huh? You mean Tae Kwon Do? XDD be sure you know what you're writing! Go back and check, if you're not sure. :) *** He voiced You voice an opinion. Sometimes it's okay to just allow your characters to "say" things. *** Of course, seagoing birds aren't much to eat so it was really just for fun. What? You mean out sweet and energetic and genuine Demyx killed a living thing for fun? T__T If he did, I don't like him anymore... *** Well that was it and even though I would advice you to go ocver your chapters a couple of times before posting them, I think you truly write well. Your descriptions of nature and smells and colours is wonderful and adds to the atmosphere and like I said, your characters are three-dimensional. :)Good work! Keep it up!
| Title: Absolutely Incredible!!
Reviewed By: -KH- Namine -KH- [MediaMiner Member] On: December 24, 2007 03:50 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This story was so cool ^_^ i loved it!! i don't understand why you havn't finished it though... i was down right gutted! you should finish it coz it was gtting to a really good climax!! Where Demyx admits hes gay... genius!!
| Reviewed By: Ace94d [MediaMiner Member] On: September 23, 2007 08:51 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Really good fic! I'm about 3 on this kissing factor, it doesn't really bug me enough to detract from the fic in any signifigant way, but I still want to see it. And, like you said on the song thing, some songs you think go with characters from KH? Weeeeeell... Going Down in Flames - 3 Doors Down(Specifically Axel) Hearts on Fire - Hammerfall(Totally an Axel song) Harder to Breathe - Maroon 9(This is ESPECIALLY good with Demyx and Zexion. I may or may not have thought of a Zemyx AMV for it _>)
| Title: awsome story
Reviewed By: kyuubi_sai [MediaMiner Member] On: August 08, 2007 21:43 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
i think you took this story and made almost your own it was very well writen and you have made me obsesed with this story because when ever i get on i check to see if you have updated
| Reviewed By: FadingSKye [MediaMiner Member] On: July 24, 2007 12:34 CDT
Comment/Review:
I absolutely adore this fanfic. It's cute, and it's got high and low points, a little bit of everything which is always good. AxelxDemyx is one of my favorite pairings and you never see too many of them. Keep it up ^-^ I love it.
| Title: =D
Reviewed By: FallenxStar [MediaMiner Member] On: June 27, 2007 03:52 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
AWESOME FIC! ;D I don't know why you only have one review.. This fic is AMAZING! Keep 'em coming. ;)
| Reviewed By: CatNeko13 [MediaMiner Member] On: June 11, 2007 01:25 CDT
Comment/Review:
nice story I really like it
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