Kingdom Hearts Fan Fiction ❯ Yk's KH2 Fic ❯ Space Paranoids 1 ( Chapter 1 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Sora Being Stupid, Tron Being Smart, and Sark Being Jesus

Crew: *arrive at the Hollow Bastion*

Sora: Sweet. Now, let's go to that place where those guys are.

Donald: Sure, that's really helpful.

*all go off to the Restoration Committee HQ*

Sora: Hey everyone!!

Yuffie: Hi Sora.

Sora: *drool*

Cid: DUDE!! I just found the hottest website. It has all of this here airship stuff. And get this: you can totally get these customized airship floor prints to put on your deck!!

Sora: Freakin' sweet!! *looks at comp*

~-~30 minutes later~-~

Cid: Oh yeah, Leon found Ansem's computer. He's at the postern.

Sora: .....okay. *walks off to postern*

~-~-~

Aeris: Where were you guys?!

Sora: I dunno, beautiful, where were you?

Aeris: Umm...right here waiting for you this whole time?

Sora: Oh...........*walks into the castle* She totally digs me.

Goofy: Well.....

Sora: SHUT UP! *stops* Hey look. A door.

Donald: Hmm...that was too easy. Get ready for a heartless attack.

Sora: *kicks the door open*

Tifa: *looks up* Oh, hey guys.

Sora: Hi there. I'm Sora, and you're really hot.

Tifa: Yeah, whatever. Have you seen a guy with spiky hair?

Sora: *smiles*

Tifa: No, spikier. And handsomer.

Sora: Shi--

Donald: We should probably get to that computer.

Tifa: Hmm...okay. *kicks a wall* Well, if you see him...*walks out*

Leon: Gawd, where were you guys?

Sora: I dunno. Hey, so where's this computer?

Leon: *opens secret door* In here.

All: *walk in*

Stitch: *jumps on computer*

Sora: AWWWS! He's adorable!!

Donald: GET OFF OF THAT COMPUTER, MOTHERF--

Computer voice: HEY! No foul mouthering!!

Donald: Why don't you make me, whor--

Computer Voice: Oh, that is IT man! You guys are going in the slammer!!

Thingy: *Glows*

Leon: RUN GUYS!!

Sora: .....*looks at glowy thingy*......*looks at Leon*....*looks at glowy thingy* .............why?

Leon: -_-

Sora, Donald and Goofy: *pixilated*

~-~-~

Sora, Donald and Goofy: *in the computer*

Sora: Sweet, I'm blue.

Sark: *comes up* Bwahaha.

Heartless: *attack*

Sora: Who are you?!

Sark: Jesus.

Goofy: Wow.......it's nice to meet you Mr. Jesus.

Sark: Nice to meet you, too. Now, if you'll just hop into this here jail cell.

All: Sure. *walk in*

Sora: *tries to hop* *falls*

Sark: I didn't mean that literally.

Tron: Hey, guys, what's up?

Sora: Maybe we should introduce ourselves. I'm Sora.

Donald: I'm Donald!

Goofy: And I'm Goofy!

Sark: And I'm Jesus!

Tron: Sark, shut up. You're not Jesus.

Sark: SINNER!!! SIIINNNEEERRR!!! *kicks his nuts*

Tron: O____O

Sora: That was UNCALLED FOR, Jesus!!

Sark: Something had to be done. *walks off*

*after Tron had regained himself*

Tron: So, you guys want to go back?

All: YEAH!!

Tron: Well, too bad. Cause unless you want to free us from this jail cell with that magic key you've got there...

Sora: *looks down at the keyblade*

Tron: ....take an elevator up to a power thingy-ma-bobber, and hit some red block to make it go into the power thingy-ma-bobber, you're stuck here.

Donald: Aww man!

Goofy: ....

Sora: Awwight, lez do thizz.

Tron: STOP. That.

Sora: Awwight home-SLICEAH!!

Tron: *kicks Sora's nuts*

Sora: .......there's nothing down there.

Tron: Oh....oh wow....ummm...sorry man.

Sora: *opens the door*

Tron: *goes to the magical elevator*

Sora, Donald and Goofy: *follow*

~-~-~

All: *at the power thing*

Tron: Well, here we are.

Sora: *touches the computer*

Blocks: *appear*

Red block: *glows*

Blocks: *spin*

Red block: *turns blue*

Tron: And now you've gotta get the red one, totally imposs--

Sora: *sitting on the red one*

Tron: Ah.....okay.

Sora: *levitates it*

Sark: *appears* CEASE!! Only Jesus may levitate!!

Sora: *stops* Yes, Jesus.

Tron: What are you DOING!!? Don't fall for his BS!!

Goofy: Careful, Tron. This game is rated E10+, and if you say things like that, the ESRB and Jack Thompson might come and kick your....buttocks.

Sark: AHA! That is right! *tries to kick Tron's nuts again*

Tron: *blocks* HA!

Sark: *boxes Tron's ears*

Tron: WAHH!!

Sark: Aha! Nobody screws with Jesus!! *walks off*

~-~-~

Sark: *talking with the MCP* Hey, umm...are you my daddy?

MCP: No.

Sark: But you are God, right?

MCP: Pretty much.

Sark: Okay, so I'm going to call you Daddy.

MCP: Uhh...

Sark; Okay, what were you saying, Daddy?

MCP: Nothing, you just came in.

Sark: Oh...okay. So, what're you going to do about those kids?

MCP: Mmmm...nothing yet.

Sark: Okay. Bye bye, Daddy.

~-~-~

Tron: Okay, well. Can you guys do something for me?

Sora: No.

Tron: Oh, come on!!

Sora: Naw, I'm just kiddin' with you buddy.

Tron: Right, well. I need this password for the--

Sora: Yeah, gotcha, bye!

Tron: Wait Sora!! GET BACK HERE DAM--

~-~-~

Leon: *messing with the computer*

Sora Donald and Goofy: *pop out*

Leon: I did it!! OH YEAH!! *victory dance* Let's see what else I can do! *starts typing*

Computer: Access denied.

Leon: CRAP! Stupid password protection!!

Tifa: *walks in* Ooooh. Secret room! *goes away*

Leon: .....mm'kay.....

Sora: *drool*

Donald: SORA!!

Sora: *walks after her*

Tifa: *throwing stuff*

Sora: You're very strong.

Tifa: *lifting the picture of Ansem by a finger* Huh?

Sora: *sees the stuff* Hey, what's that?

Leon: I dunno. I think it may have something to do with that computer in there though, for some reason.

Mickey: Hi.

Sora Donald and Goofy: OMFG!!

Mickey: Shh....*closes the door*

Tifa: *comes running in* DID CLOUD SLAM THAT DOOR?!!?

Leon: Oh shut up. Nobody cares what your crack-addict brain has to say.

Tifa: Hey!!

Mickey: Anyways, what is the commotion?

Leon: Well, we found this stuff. And we need a password for Ansem's computer, but we don't know what it is. I think that this might have something to do with--

Mickey: Yeah, umm...Ansem the Wise is a nickname the bullies at school gave him because he was really dumb. The password is “password”.

Leon: ..............oh. Well, that works.

Mickey: Okay, guys. I've got some really important stuff to tell you. REALLY important. Like YOU NEED TO HEAR important. It's--

Leon: Come!! It's computer time!!

Sora: But...but Mickey needs to tell us something!

Leon: It can wait!!

Mickey: It's okay. I'm not going anywhere.

Sora: Hmm.....okay......*turns to go off with Leon*

Mickey: *chucks the Master form orb at Sora's head*

Sora: OWWW!!!!

~-~-~

*in the computer room*

Leon: *puts in password* Wow...”password” was his password? Jesus...

Sark's voice: What?!

Tron's voice: SHUT UP!!!

*kick*

Tron: Owww.......

Sora: Okay, let's do this! *hammers on the computer until it pixelizes them again*

~-~-~

Goofy: Yay! Now where's Tron? *touches the computer*

All: *whisked away*

*at the Light Cycle*

Sark's voice: Puny humans and ducks and dogs: you will be tested here by Jesus himself. If you die, it's totally not my problem!!

Sora: *on a motorcycle* VROOOOOMMM!!!!! Yay!!!!

Heartless: *attack*

Sora: *beats down* Oh yeeaaaahh!!! Who's good?!

Heartless: *blast*

Wall: *crack*

Sora: Gosh, how're we ever going to escape?! Well, I guess we just have to fight, right guys? ...Guys?

Donald and Goofy: *running for the crack*

Sora: .....mmkay...*runs with them*

~-~-~

All: *appear at the Pit Cell*

Sora: Yeah! We won!!

Tron: *dead*

Sora: Oh.

Tron: Why in Jesus's name are you guys here?!

Sark`s voice: My name?

Tron: SHUT THE FU--

Donald: We came to give you the password!!

Tron: .....what?! Why didn't you just type the password on the keyboard?!

Sora: Umm...should we have done that?

Tron: YES!!

Sora: Oh...well. Let's get to wherever we go to put in the password!!

Tron: -_- Fine.

~-~-~

*in the dataspace*

Tron: Okay, so what's the password?

Sora: Password.

Tron: Yes, what is it?

Sora: It's password.

Tron: .......seriously?

Goofy: Yup.

Tron: Wow....that's stupid.

Sora: I dunno, I think it's easy to remember...

Tron: *puts in password*

Sark's voice: Now switching DTD from hibernation to active mode. Enjoy a game while you wait!!

Sora: Thanks Jesus!!

Tron: Crap! Sora, this isn't a game!!

Sora: Sure it is!!

Heartless: *appear*

~-~-~After winning~-~-~

Sora: We are GOOD!!

Tron: *gets glowy from the comp*

MCP: HAHAHAHA. Now I have full access to the DTD. My takeover of the system is now complete. I might have anticipated such a simple password. Ooohh...a town blowing-up thing! Let's use that!!

Sark: Okay, Daddy!!

Tron: No!! *puts glowy back in* *types*

MCP: PROGRAM!! You've changed the password?! CURSES!!!

Tron: That should buy us a little time. See, he's trying to upload a hostile program into the I/O tower.

Sora: ....in English please?

Tron: ........he's going to use a program to destroy the user world.

Sora: ....what?

Tron: .......he's doing something bad.

Sora: OH NO!!!

Torn: You are so dumb. Let's go.

~-~At the I/O tower~-~

Monster: *drops from the ceiling*

Sora: Hi! I'm Sora!

Tron: SORA!! FIGHT IT YOU DUMBA--

MCP: I'm disappointed in you, Program. Why do you insist on allying with these selfish Users?

Donald: I'M NOT SELFISH!!!

MCP: Yes you are.

Donald: NO!!!

MCP: YES.

Donald: NO!!!!

Sora: Donald, don't question God!

Tron: He is not God.

Sora: Yeah, shut up.

Monster: *attack*

Sora and Crew: *beat*

Monster: *explodes*

Sora: AHA!!

Tron: Nice work.

Sora: Yeah, better believe it bit--

Goofy: Hey, Tron?

Tron: Yeah?

Goofy: What did you change the password to?

Tron: Oh, SarkIsntJesus.

Sark: This is your first and final warning, nonbeliever!! I will destroy you.

Tron: Right.

Sora: Umm...I'm not usually the one to be smart and stuff...but didn't you just give the MCP the password?

Tron: ..................oh shit.

Jack Thompson: *appears* YOU HAVE VIOLATED YOUNG CHILDREN!!! *heartless appear* GET HIM!!!

Heartless: *get him*

Sora: .....mm'kay. See ya Tron! *access computer*

Tron: Wait! Sora!! HEEEELLLLPPP......

~-~-~

All: *pop out of the glowy thingy*

Leon: Hey, look.

Computer screen: *shows an 8-bit picture of them all dead* THANKS.....SO MUCH.

Sora: Tron...hang in there.

Leon: Hey, soo...let's get started on this.

Sora: The password is SarkIsntJesus.

Leon: Ooooookay.....*puts it in*

Computer: *in Tron's voice* BEEP BEEP BEEP!! ACCESS DENIED!!! SUCK IT!!!

Leon: Ummm.....okay......

Sora: Well, I guess we have to go see King Mickey to get some answers!

All: *go out to the room where Mickey was*

Goofy: Where's the King??

Donald: *picks up something* Hey guys, look. A note!!

Note: Yeah, umm...I kind of had to go to the bathroom, and yeah, I'm just not coming back. So have this T-Shirt!!

T-Shirt: Mickey Mouse went to Disney World, and all he got was this crappy-ass T-shirt.

Jack Thompson: *comes out* *burns the shirt* I'm watching you guys. *walks off*

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

Cid: *on a loudspeaker* Excuse me...

Sora: Eeeeeeeewww......