Kingdom Hearts Fan Fiction ❯ Yk's KH2 Fic ❯ Hollow Bastion 4 ( Chapter 2 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Sora Being Flirtatious, Ansem Being Stingy, and Goofy Blowing a Gasket

Sora: Well guys, let's get a move on. We don't have all day.

All: *walk out*

Sora: Hi Malificent.

Malificent: Oh, hey Sora.

Sora: *looks at the Heartless and Nobodies fight* Looks like your guys are getting beaten pretty badly.

Malificent: Yeah....you wanna take `em?

Sora: Why can't Pete?

Malificent: He ran away. He's stupid.

Sora: Oh, okay. Sure.

Malificent: Thanks, bud. You're a pal. *disappears*

Nobodies and Heartless: *turn on the crew*

The crew: *beat*

The pixies: *fly up*

Sora: Hi.

Rikku: Man, that sucked.

Yuna: Yeah. Hey does Leon have any treasure?

Donald: ...yeah, sure. Let's go with that.

Paine: Mm'kay. We're on your side now.

Pixies: *fly away*

Sora: .....oookay.....*runs away*

Sephiroth: *appears* Heya, home-sliceahs.

Sora: Dude, it sound much better if you shout out the SLICEAHS part.

Sephiroth: Really?

Sora: Y--

Sephiroth: Okay, whatever.

Sora: Cloud wants you.

Tifa: Did you say Cloud?!

Sora: No.

Sephiroth: Hmm...okay. Thanks dude. Peace out. *walks off* .... *levitates into the sky* ..... *disappears into a ball of darkness*

Goofy: We'd better go help the others!!

Sora: Who?

Donald: Let's go!!!

All: *run off*

~-~-~

Leon: *fighting off enemies*

Sora: YEAAAAHH!!!!

Aeris: Sora, behind you!!

Sora: Don't you mean…“Oh my gosh!! Sora, you're here to save me!! I love you!”

Aeris: No, Sora! They're gonna get you!

Sora: Don't you mean…you're going to get me?

Goofy: *takes out the nobodies trying to get Sora from behind*

Aeris: You are SUCH a dumba--

Leon: *cough* The King is at the Bailey. You should head over there.

Sora: Oh, so he IS here.

Leon: Yeah. You'd better go to the bailey.

Sora: Oh, wah. Fine. *runs off to the bailey with Donald and Goofy*

Goofy: Oh my gawrsh!!!!

Sora: Yeah, the sunset's great, isn't it?

Donald: …..*pushes his head down*

Sora: Oooooooooohhh…look at all the heartless! And, what's this? Two lovelies on the battlefield? *admiring Yuffie and Aeris* So…which one do you guys think is hotter?

Goofy: Let's go!

Sora: No, no! Let's wait a bit.

Donald: Why?!

Sora: Because shut up! Hey, look! It's the blue motherf--

Donald: SORA!! LET'S GO FIGHT!!

Sora: And Rikku, Yuna, and Paine…

Goofy: Sora. Seriously.

Donald: Oh no. Goofy's getting mad!!

Sora: Ha! There's Cloud and Leon talking! Hey, let's do some voiceover, `kay? *in a bad impression of Leon* Hey, Cloud…I love you. *bad impression of Cloud* I know, Leon. And I return the feeling. *Leon* We should go to the mall sometime. *Cloud* And we could eat pizza together. *Normal Sora* Tee hee!

Goofy: *eyes glow red*

Donald: *hides in a bunker*

Sora: LOOK! It's Sephiroth!! Time for some more AWESOME voice work. *Sephiroth* But, I thought you loved me! *Cloud* I did, Sephiroth. I did. But now I've moved on!! *Sephiroth* You can't let go of me Cloud. I'm your destiny, you KNOW you need me. *Cloud* You're wrong!! * Obnoxious Tifa Voice* CLOUD?! Is that yooou?!?! *Sephiroth* You know the truth Cloud. Embrace it. *Normal Sora* HAHA!! *drool* Tifa is SO freakin' hot.

Goofy: THAT IS IT!! I HAVEN'T BEEN THIS MAD SINCE LAST APRIL FOOLS WHEN CHIP AND DALE REPLACED MY DRY FOOD WITH THEIR POOP!!! NOW WE ARE GETTING DOWN THERE BEFORE I TAKE MY SHEILD AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR A--

Sora: Shut up.

Goofy: YOU SHUT UP YOU STUPID DUMB FILTY WOMANIZING SON OF A BISON!! WE SHOULD'VE LEFT YOU IN THE PRIDE LANDS WHEN WE HAD THE CHANCE!!

Sora: ….you done?

Goofy: ….yes.

Sora: Cool, let's go!!

Donald: Okay.

Sora: By the way…son of a bison?

~-~-~

The Crew: *running*

Mickey: *drops down* YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!

Sora: Oh, shut up!

Mickey: I'm ignoring that comment. You must go find Riku and Kairi!!

Sora: But I don't wanna!!

Mickey: Donald, Goofy, make sure he goes and finds his friends. That's totally an order.

Sora: Hey man, you LEFT US at the castle. Why do we have to listen to you?

Donald and Goofy: *look at each other* *nod*

Donald: Yeah!

Goofy: We don't listen to dirty deserters!!

Mickey: Do it or you're fired!!

Donald: What a thing to hold over our heads! *sarcasm sarcasm*

Sora: But it's your JOBS!! I heard bad things happen to people who lose their jobs!!

Donald: No crap.

Goofy: Yeah, dude. But we'd rather help our friend than keep our jobs. They're pretty bad jobs anyways. Hard labor and stuff.

Sora: Really? Dude, I thought you were knights or something.

Donald: That's what we were told…*wink wink*

Sora: WTF?

Donald: Sorry, my contact fell out.

Sora: Oh.

Goofy: You have contacts?

Donald: Yeah, but I've never told anyone before.

Sora: Hmm…well, I guess it's time to go! *jumps off the cliff* *turns to face Mickey* We're not listening to you!! SUCK ON THAT, N00B!! *jump*

Donald: Stupid! *jump*

Goofy: I hate you so much!! *jump*

~-~-~

Demyx: *appears* Sora!! Mah home-puppy! What's up?

Donald: Shut up!

Sora: Hey, Demyx! What's happenin' on the nobody front?

Demyx: …..you know my name?? *squeal*

Sora: Wait…is that your name? Cause I just totally guessed.

Demyx: Wow….really?

Sora: Yeah. Anyways, do I have to fight you or something?

Demyx: Yeah, yeah, I think.

Sora: Mm'kay

*beat*

Demyx: AAAH CRAAAAAAAAAAAPP!!! *dissapear*

Sora: Bwahaha! One down!! Take that, Organization!!

Donald: They SUCK!!

Goofy: Amen, friends! But we've gotta go help the others!!

Sora: Oh…yeah…

Donald: Let's go!!

Mickey: Aha!! There you are!!

Sora: Aww shi--

Mickey: I have NOT forgotten about that suck it comment, Sora. And that stupid comment, Donald. AND that hateful comment, Goofy.

Sora: Well yeah, it was kind of three seconds ago.

Mickey: I WANT NONE OF YOUR SASS!!

Sora: Sorry…….

Mickey: You'll rue the day you ever messed with Mickey Mouse!!

Sora, Donald and Goofy: Yessir!!

Mickey: *walks off*

Heartless: *explodes the tower*

Goofy: OMG!! KING, WATCH OUT!! *dive*

Rock: *hits Goofy's head*

Goofy: *hits wall*

Sora: Oh CRAP!! *run over*

Mickey: No….

Donald: Come on, man, get up!! You've got five-hundred bucks in IOUs to repay me!!

Sora: Get up, Goofy!!

Donald: All that money down the drain!! *cries*

Sora: Find a happy place Sora…find a happy place…

Mickey: They'll pay for that! *UBER CLOAK THROW* HAVE AT THEE!! *runs*

Donald: ROOOOOOOAAAARR!!!! *runs after Mickey*

Sora: Hmm…I don't think we should just leave him here…..ah well. Screw it. *runs after Donald*

~-~-~

Sora: *running*

Heartless: *attack*

Yuffie: Want help?

Sora: Only from you, honey.

Sora and Yuffie: *beat*

Sora: *proceeds*

More heartless: *attack*

Leon: Hey, let's do this.

Sora: Sure thing, buddy!

Sora and Leon: *beat*

Sora: *proceeds*

MORE heartless: *attack*

Tifa: Hey, have you seen Cloud?

Sora: No, but I'll ALWAYS be here for you.

Tifa: Great, shut up.

Sora and Tifa: *beat*

Sora: *proceeds*

EVEN MORE heartless: *attack*

Cloud: Hmph.

Sora: *fan girl squeal* *faints*

Cloud: ….*beats* ……..*slaps Sora*

Sora: OW!! WTF, MAN?! *proceeds*

~-~-~

Sora: *runs up to Donald and Mickey*

Mickey: Pff, what took YOU so long to get here?

Sora: What's taking YOU so long to become un-ugly? OHHH!! Want some cream for that serious BURN?!

Goofy: HEY, FELLERS!!

All: Goofy?!

Goofy: YOU GUYS FREAKIN' LEFT ME THERE!! WHY'D YOU DO THAT?!

Donald: We thought you were dead!!

Goofy: Did you check my pulse?

Sora: Should we have done that?

Goofy: YES!! Gawrsh, you guys are idiots!

Donald: HEY! I'm not an idiot! *beats with club*

Goofy: OOWW!!!

Sora: *looks out at the castle* Come on guys. We've got heartless to beat.

Mickey: One more thing before we go though.

Sora: Huh?

Mickey: *kicks Sora's knees*

Sora: O_O OWWWWWW!!!! MY GOD, YOU BAST--

Mickey: That's for telling me to suck it.

~-~-~

Mickey: Eh?

Sora: What's up with these guys…?

Heartless: *frozen*

Goofy: Look!!

Hooded figure: *appear* *takes off hood*

Donald: It's the guy who's NOT Ansem!!

Sora: Nice, Donald.

Donald: Hey, shut up!!!!

Sora: You shut up!

Goofy: Both of you shut up!!!

Mickey: Hey, wait a sec!!!

*FLASHBACK*

Mickey: Wise Ansem…I seek your advice. I need a way to get a duck and a dog killed without making it look too obvious.

Ansem: Ya know what you need to do? Push them off a cliff. That's easy. BUT make it seem like an accident, okay?

Mickey: Uhh…..

Ansem: No, on second thought, just say they fell. It's much less conspicuous.

Xehanort: *enters* Master Ansem, may I have some ice cream money?

Ansem: What happened to the ice cream money I gave you last week?!

Xehanort: Umm…I spent it on ice cream? You only gave me enough for one cone, so…

Ansem: No. No, just leave. NOW.

Xehanort: Aww…please? You don't even pay me for being your assistant!

Ansem: *shakes head*

Xehanort: *sigh* Alright, I guess I'll have to see if that one waitress who has a crush on me is there today…maybe she'll give me free ice cream. *grumble* *walks out of the room*

*END FLASHBACK*

Mickey: Now I remember! That's Xehanort! Ansem's apprentice! The one who never got ice cream!!

Xehanort: …..*smile*

Mickey: *rushes him*

Sora: Lezz GO!!

Heartless: *surround them*

Sora: Aww, this should be easy!!

Camera: *zooms out*

Sora: …Oh my Fu--

~-~-~

Mickey: *standing behind Xehanort* Yo, dumba--

Sora: *comes running up with the crew* KIIIIINNG!!!!

Xehanort: Ansem called me that sometimes. But that's okay. I know you're not him.

Sora: Out with it Nobody!! Where's Riku? Where's Kairi?!

Xehanort: Nobody?! Would you like to be called “Nobody”?! HUH PUNK?!?!

Mickey: Shut up!!

Xehanort: *starts to disappear*

Mickey: Stupid dumba--*jumps into the darkness*

Sora: Oh crap. *falls to knees* *punches ground*

Goofy: Sora, the ground never did anything to you.

Donald: That's right. Now stop punching it.

Sora: I DON'T WANNA!! * punch punch punch*

Axel: Hey, he hates being called Nobody, just so you know.

All: *turn*

Axel: This one day at HQ, but never mind. His name's Xemnas.

Sora: Umm...could you spell that?

Axel: Sure X-E-M-N-A-S.

Sora: Okay…now I think I got it memorized.

Axel: Hey, that should be my new gig! Like…*haughty tone* I'm Axel! A-X-E-L. Got it memorized? That's awesome.

Goofy: Umm…could you PLEASE give us some answers here?

Axel: Hmm….nope. Not really. But I can tell you this…

*Several long minutes later*

Axel: And that…is where babies come from.

Donald: I really don't think Sora needed to hear that.

Axel: Too bad!!

S*ix: Axel!! *appears*

Axel: Uh-oh! *disappears*

Sora: *tries to run after him*

S*ix: We'll make sure he receives the maximum punishment.

Sora: But I don't care about any of that!! Just tell me more about those babies!!!

S*ix: ……well…..okay. I probably know more than him anyways. What did he not tell you?

*Several MORE minutes later*

S*ix: And that's probably all you need to know for now.

Sora: Will you tell me more next time?

S*ix: Maybe when you're older. But for now…*snaps*

Heartless: *appear*

S*ix: Heartless…they're so much less cool than Nobodies. But I suppose they get the job done. Not as well as Nobodies though, not by far. I wonder what we're having for lunch today. I may actually miss it if I don't make this snappy.

Malificent: What in the WORLD do you think you're prattling on about?! *appear* Heartless are so much cooler than Nobodies. And you guys are having a picnic today. All that picnic food sounds delectable, no?

Sora: Hi Malificent!!

Malificent: Sora, the grown-ups are talking. Mmm….picnic….

S*ix: Hey, are you going to attack me?

Malificent: Umm…sure. *pops up heartless*

S*ix: Fool. *pops up Nobodies*

Nobodies: *vanquish*

Sora: Oh no!! *cower*

Malificent: *poofs in front of them and makes a fire wall* Ya know, there's only like…five of them. You could've just used the keybl--

Nobodies: *attack*

Malificent: OMG!! *covered in them*

S*ix: Now…where did we leave off. Oh yeah. *snaps up heartless*

Sora: Gawd, guys, choose a side!!

S*ix: They'll choose us cause we're stronger.

Sora: Well why aren't you using Nobodies? They're stronger anyways. *attack attack*

S*ix: *smiles sweetly while thinking* I don't….I don't know. *disappears*

Goofy: AW COME ON!!

Heartless: *attack*

~-~-~

Castle: *glows*

Leon: Sora! Donald! Goofy!

Cloud: Hey, speaking of Sora, does he have a thing for you?

Leon: No. Why, does he--

Cloud: Yeah. Yeah, he does.

Leon: Creepy.

Cloud: Yeah, well, see ya around. Oh, and if Tifa asks…*whispers* I was never here. *walks off*

~-~-~

Sora: *in darkness* Aw, crap! Am I dead?

Malificent: NO! You're not dead.

Sora: Oh okay.

Donald: What is this place?

Sora: I dunno, but hey, who's that?

Hooded figure: …..*drops his box* *disappear*

Donald: *goes up to the box* Hmm..*opens it*

Goofy: Hey look! It's the gang from Twilight Town! There's Haner…Pence…Ollette…and…uh….

Sora: Fillmore!

Goofy: You know him?

Sora: No…I just have a feeling that's his name.

Donald: *eats the ice cream* This stuff sucks!!!

Ice cream: *glow* *hover*

Sora: *unlocks door with the ice cream* Sweet, let's go!

Goofy: What about Riku and Kairi?

Sora: Who?