Kyou Kara Maou Fan Fiction ❯ Sunshine ❯ Denial ( Chapter 3 )

Sunshine III

 

Disclaimer: Kyou Kara Maou does not belong to me and I make no money from this work of fanfiction at all.

Pairing: Conrad and Wolfram, others mentioned

Warning: incest and spoilers for episodes 25 and 26.

 

 

Hot water was a good place to ease the body and soul, and Conrad sighed as he slipped into the pool of one of the many baths of the Palace.

Work would always exist for a soldier such as himself, and today was no exception. There were minor raids by bandits, unrest with the humans in Mazoku controlled lands… Adelbert was making a nuisance of himself.

Grunting softly he closed his eyes, willing the tension to leave his back and shoulders. He let his mind drift, trying to find more pleasant things to think about.

The sparring matches with Wolfram had become a regular event, if not daily. There had not been another `incident' like the first time.

A little voice told Conrad he was disappointed. He firmly put that voice away into a small box.

The steam in the room was thick, and the light coming in from one of the many high windows made it shine. Conrad had gravitated to the side of the room cast in shadow… That had to have been why the newcomer didn't notice him.

Conrad had not been looking that way when the door had opened, but he heard it open, and he lazily rolled his head to the side to look at who had entered.

A tired looking Wolfram, with nothing but a towel circling his hips, meandered in, humming tunelessly.

Light poured down on him, or so it seemed to Conrad. Wolfram had filled out… a lot… He was still slender but very…

Conrad tried to explain away his suddenly dry mouth as Wolfram sat down on a stool to wash off. His back was to Conrad, which he was grateful for…

Floating over, he barely noticed his white knuckled grip on the edge of the pool when Wolfram dropped the towel to dump water over himself.

Beautiful…

He licked his lips, caught between the desire to see more and the guilt of…

~*~*~*~*~*~

 

He woke with a start, Conrad realizing he had dozed off in the water. He was sore from having fallen in an awkward position…

He also had an unobstructed view of his own erection.

Dreams could easily be explained away by as his subconscious using symbols, or random thoughts colliding into a mess of images.

Seeing his own body react, and get even harder as he thought about the clean smooth lines of Wolfram's body; his warmth, and his sweet, tight…

Conrad sucked in a gasp, closing his eyes. Wolfram's adorable smirk, the way his emotions flashed across his face, his pale, smooth skin and… He opened his eyes, seeing his fist pumping up and down his dick, thumb moving over the head.

He wondered if Wolfram's hand would feel the same. Would it be softer? Or was it nearly as callused?

His breath hitched and he bit his lip.

It just had been a very long time since he had… had done anything, right? He just needed to blow off some tension.

That didn't explain why the image of Wolfram's golden head between his legs, lips wrapped around the head of his dick, made him come so quickly.

He gaped at his own hand as he came down, breathing hard.

“What's wrong with me?”

Getting out of the water, he rinsed off and left, feeling shaky and unsettled.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Going back to his room was all he could do after that, bland smile plastered on his face as he vacillated between denial and trying to understand why.

Why lust over his little brother?

Trying to think it over, arrived in his room and sat down on the bed, falling backwards.

Perhaps it was just male hormones. It had been a long time, a very long time, since he had looked at anyone that way. Julia had been almost too pure to imagine doing anything carnal. Wolfram was beautiful…

And there.

But that didn't make any sense- his brother was most certainly not available. If he wanted someone who had no problem with a friendly screw, he could go to Yozak. They had experimented together when they were younger, moving on to other people. Yet they would seek other out for stress relief. Their friendship was something they cherished too much to take sex seriously.

Then he had moved on to Julia- someone he worshipped from afar.

Grimacing, he thought about Wolfram. The two could not be more different; Julia was a glassy forest pool where Wolfram was a raging volcano. Julia loved everyone equally, keeping her emotions close to her heart. Wolfram…

He gave his loyalty to few and defiantly thrust his opinions and heart into the world.

Both were equally untouchable.

Conrad winced. Besides… it wasn't like Wolfram…

(He gave me his first kiss.)

He remembered his dream- how just watching Wolfram had aroused him. He felt so… ashamed, now.

He didn't want to fall asleep just yet. His dreaming mind was an enemy.

Besides, the sheets smelled familiar; of flowers and tears. Conrad inhaled, remembering that smell from his convalescence. It brought thoughts of solace, when the nightmares became too frightening. There had been soothing warmth and small hands and…

He almost drifted off to sleep. Almost. By that time he was usually deeply asleep, and if it wasn't for being on edge that night he would have been.

He would have missed the sound of someone coming into his room.

Normally, he would have sprung instantly awake, but whoever this was knew his room well. The intruder moved with army trained stealth, approaching his bed.

And heaven help him, Conrad should have tensed, readying himself for an attack, yet his traitorous body only relaxed further.

The scent of flowers got stronger as he continued to feign sleep, eyes open enough to notice a flash of pink across his vision.

Wolfram?

The pink nightgown- a gift that had started out as a joke but become his brother's favored sleeping attire- drifted out of his vision as he felt the bed creak, and a much smaller body crawl on to the bed and curl up against his back.

Oh…

The familiar smell he could recall, the one that had been on his bed when he had returned and calmed his nightmares…

Wolfram.

His mind kicked into gear as he ran through various scenarios. Wolfram had always come to him for comfort as a child.

And what did a person need, no matter their age, more than comfort? Especially during a time of war?

He ran through various scenarios, imagining Wolfram watching him as he healed but never being there when he was awake. He saw Wolfram climbing into bed when he had nightmares. He wondered, and thought it was a good possibility, that Wolfram had probably been sleeping in his room and bed when he had been away.

The deep breathing from behind him told Conrad that his little brother had fallen asleep. The thought brought a smile to his face; Wolfram was the hardest sleeper he knew.

The various implications and possibilities paraded loudly through his brain.

It could mean that Wolfram was sleep walking with a strange fixation on Conrad's room. It could mean that Wolfram's own bed was too small and was so in the habit of coming to Conrad's room so he could have room. It could mean that Wolfram wanted to kill Conrad by way of using his restless sleeping habits.

Or, Conrad could shut up with the denial and actually believe that Wolfram was there because he genuinely had missed his brother and wanted comfort.

He took a deep breath. Wolfram could never say that he missed Conrad, or that he loved him… but this was the closest confirmation he could find. Too bad his older brother was a pervert who-

Conrad swallowed a groan when Wolfram cuddled a little closer, making a soft whimper in his sleep. He was getting hard, imaging making Wolfram whimper and sigh and gasp, before-

His denial was taking a beating, crashing down around his ears when he felt Wolfram's breath on the back of his neck.

He didn't dare turn around. Not when he knew, knew without a doubt, that he would probably do something to Wolfram. He could not let himself ever give in to this- this- perversion. He had to do something before this went too far.

Even as he thought, Wolfram slept on, oblivious.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Eventually Conrad drifted off, and when he woke up, Wolfram's side of the bed was empty, but still warm. He rolled into the hollow Wolfram's body had left in the mattress.

Sitting up, he stared at his hands, before grabbing the pillow Wolfram had used, inhaling the familiar scent.

Denial was such a nice, safe place, he thought. He could tell himself whatever he wanted to believe and he'd believe it. Truth, however, refused to go hang.

He couldn't let this go on as it was. Conrad already had something of Wolfram's he should never have been given; a first kiss was a precious thing.

Even if that precious kiss was given away in a foolish trick.

While Conrad was coming out of his own denial, he shied away from thinking of Wolfram's feelings. Wolfram was too young to understand what it was he'd been giving away, and comfort was all he'd been seeking when he came to Conrad's bed. His little brother would never want a half breed, let alone his own brother.

It was a safe place to hide, denial.

There was still the matter of Conrad's own messy feelings. Getting up and getting dressed, he grimly went through the possibilities.

Wolfram could not be allowed to know, nor could anyone else. While same sex relationships were not taboo, incest was.

He could no longer deny that he felt lust for his brother, and he hoped it was just his own perversion. Perhaps time would help; time, and distance, and someone else in his bed.

Then he frowned. The idea of a cheap fuck did not sit well with him. He had always considered himself too honorable, and he had long convinced himself that his fooling around with Yozak didn't count.

He grunted softly. There wasn't much else he could do…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Gwendal's face was expressionless when Conrad came in to his office that morning, putting down his request for an immediate transfer.

“Care to explain this?” von Voltaire asked, putting one hand on the paper, cold blue eyes narrowing.

Conrad looked at his older brother, exhaling imperceptibly. “No.”

“Then it's an order. Explain this.”

The solder kept his composure. “I'm needed on the border. I'm one of the best soldiers in the army and my experience and expertise would be best utilized there.”

Gwendal's forehead wrinkled more.

“You have been gone four years. There is no reason for you to suddenly be needed anywhere that could not be put off for anywhere from a few weeks to a few months. Yes, you are an asset, but you are one man and we are no longer at war. What is your real reason?”

Conrad glued on the bland smile. “What makes you think there is one?”

“I will not argue that your trip has been bad for you- you have mastered the anger and resentment I recall.” Gwendal stood up and turned to the window, watching some of the troops train.

“But your presence was missed here. Mother, especially, worried.”

There were so many words unspoken as he watched the line of Gwendal's back.

“Your presence would be as useful here as it would be anywhere else,” the long haired man said, continuing to watch the grounds. Walking up beside him, Conrad noticed that his eyes were fixed on Wolfram. He was practicing with his own small troop of soldiers, with Majyutsu and sword.

“So, give me your real reason for wanting a transfer.”

Conrad was silent for several moments, watching Wolfram drill his soldiers.

“My reasons are… private.” Of course, he doubted that would be good enough for Gwendal. “I need time to sort out my feelings for a person. I need distance. If I stay here at the castle that could never happen.”

He could feel Gwendal's gaze on him, even if he was still staring out the window. It was like he was searching, searching…

He could only imagine what would happen if he found out about his…

Gwendal didn't ask any questions.

“This is important to you?”

Conrad felt his own eyes go back to Wolfram's form as he trained; his face and stance softening.

“Yes.”

Gwendal's mouth twitched up.

“As for your request for an immediate transfer to the border-“

Conrad's hand fell to his belt, tightening. It would mean now that he could finally run away, finally get over his problem…

“It is denied.”

His mouth fell open in shock.

“Gwendal, please-“

“This isn't just about you, Conrad. This is about the people who would hurt with you gone. And I would not be much of a brother if I let you run away from your problems, instead of sorting them out. Though I'm not cruel- I'm going to give you a mission. You need to find information on a certain nobles in our country who seem to be taking it into their heads to leave Shin Makoku. Your contact in the area will be Yozak, and I'll give you your briefing in the morning.”

Gwendal's face softened. “I will give you missions away from here, but I cannot let you go entirely.”

Conrad nodded, choppy. Perhaps he had hoped for this too much… but at least with a mission to focus on, and Yozak for company, he could find some kind of peace…

 

To be continued.

 

A/N: Sorry this took so long, but I'm writing this at the same time I'm writing “Home Work” and the two are hard to keep separate. I'm not quite sure where I'm taking this now. Realistically, a relationship like this would be a Bad Thing. There is pretty much no hope of a happy ending, in the real world.

That being said, this is not the real world. This is not only KKM, this is a fanfic.

And THAT being said… Someone shoot me before I turn this into an mpreg as well.