Legend Of Zelda Fan Fiction / Starcraft Fan Fiction / Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Tassadar's Legacy: The Crusades: Sylvanis ❯ What have I gotten myself into? ( Chapter 7 )

Slowly, I opened my eyes feeling a little out of place. Last thing I remember, I'd fallen asleep in Shelke's computer room, in a cot, that she probably sleeps in herself. Shrugging off that revelation, I took stock of my surroundings, which I realized belatedly, I'm back in the guest bedroom of the Seventh Heaven bar. Did Vincent carry me back asleep? I wonder how he carried me so that I didn't wake up. Slightly bemused at the mental image of Vincent cradling a sleeping me and walking really slow, I sat up and stretched. Catching sight of something on the dresser that hadn't been there before, I got up and went over to examine a perfectly simple plain disk and the two printouts of the pictures pulled from my missing memory.

I picked up the map of Wutai and looked at the red X. I scratched my head and wondered what I should do. I'll probably have to stick around for a while. After all, I really don't want to go to Wutai with this language barrier in place. It's bad enough only being able to talk to Vincent after all. The door opened suddenly, and I was surprised since I hadn't heard anyone come up. I suppose everyone could be sneaky if they wanted to. Tifa came through the door, saw me, and said, "Good morning Matthew. " I smiled at her and said, "Morning Tifa. " She crossed her arms and asked, "Did you sleep well? " I nodded and said, "Ya- hey wait a second! What's with everyone suddenly knowing English? "

Tifa started laughing. I suppose my totally shocked and out of it face was rather amusing, but I wasn't in the mood to be amused. I wasn't really angry, just exasperated. Here I was, trying to struggle to learn a language, and Tifa here was picking it up in a day? Or maybe... "How long was I out? " Tifa smiled at my obvious attempt at soothing my own ruffled pride and took joy in bursting my bubble again, "Only for the afternoon and through the night. " I sighed, giving up, and sat down on the bed. I guess she took pity on me, because Tifa sat down next to me and started to rub my back.

I sighed in content and leaned my head on her shoulder. Going one step further, Tifa took my head and maneuvered me so my head was laying in her lap, and almost absentmindedly stroked my hair. I didn't want to, but I couldn't help it. I turned so I could look up at her and ask, "Why are you doing this? Um� not that I'm complaining or anything�" I broke off mumbling embarrassed at having even asked, but also uncomfortable still at her seemingly random bouts of affection for a guy she knows nothing about.

Tifa regarded me thoughtfully and asked, "You called me Mom, yes? " I shook my head and said, "I don't remember that, and I thought I was asleep since my eyes were closed in the picture." She resumed running her fingers through my hair and said, "You weren't asleep. You just closed your eyes when you started crying. I turned my head away, feeling embarrassed and wishing I could just sink through the bed and into the floor. She turned my head back to face her despite it and asked, "Why does it bother you so much? "

I thought about the question. Why does it bother me? I answered, "You hardly know me... I came in here after waking up behind your dumpster, probably smelling terrible. I didn't have money so I left, then I came back for lunch looking like a warzone... you've been accommodating to me since the beginning, even creating a picture menu so I wouldn't have to fumble over figuring out how to tell you what I wanted to eat. I've only been here for what, a week? Yet� when I was attacked you took me in and washed me and gave me a bed to sleep in and food to eat. You haven't asked for a boarding fee, but I will gladly pay what you ask, but I have a good feeling you weren't ever going to ask. " I said that quickly to cut off her argument when I saw her open her mouth to retaliate. I continued, "And to top it all off, not only have you been completely accommodating for a complete stranger you've only known for less than a week� you� do stuff like this� holding me and�" I stopped talking, unable to continue. I felt stupid for bringing it up. Even if it did make me uncomfortable in that I didn't understand it, I didn't want her to stop touching me either. I felt completely stupid.

Yet, Tifa hadn't stopped threading her fingers through my hair. I turned into the touch almost on automatic, yearning for more, despite the embarrassment. She suddenly answered, "That's why. " I blinked and stared at her and said a very intelligent, "Huh? " She smiled gently at me and answered, "For all the times you keep acting stoic and saying things as if my touch is embarrassing you, not once have you actually asked me to stop. " She ran a finger down my forehead and across my cheek and I shivered, my head almost following her finger as I leaned into it.

"Why wouldn't I give this to you? All it started with was simply brushing your hair aside that first night when I took you in. But even asleep, you acted as if such a thing was precious and fleeting, as if you'd never get it again. Every touch I give you, you give the same reaction. You're starved for affection. I should be the one asking why. But I don't have to. Cloud and I take care of orphans, and some of them react the way you do. Those are the ones who tell us about a life they've mostly spent alone, even if people were around. They grow up wanting, and never getting. Every time Cloud or I touch them, they react the exact same way you do, like affection is something unexpected and probably won't happen again. If all it takes to make you happy is a simple touch, I have no problem giving that to you. "

I bit my lip and closed my eyes to keep the tears from falling. How could she make something like that sound so simple? Of course, such a thing is so simple� but at the same time� it's not. And there are others like me too? Even though no tears were falling yet, she brushed her thumb underneath my eyes to wipe tears away. I didn't want to cry. I'd cried more in the past few days than I had in years, but that simple touch, like all touches shed been giving me, undid me, and I cried. And all the time I did, she held me close with my head pillowed on her chest, and rubbed my back soothingly.

I'm glad I'm not a loud crier. I don't know if whimpering is much better, but at least no one outside the room could hear me breaking to pieces. I hid my face in her shoulder, and she let me for a while, then she reached with her hand and turned my chin so I was looking at her. I desperately kept my eyes closed so I wouldn't have to see the look on her face. I couldn't stand if she was disgusted with me� but somehow, it would have undone me even more if she still had that look of quiet understanding on her face.

"It's ok to cry. It's ok. You can trust me. You don't have to be ashamed of crying with me. " She whispered gently. I found myself wanting to believe her. She shushed me gently and I opened my eyes slowly. She had that look on her face. That smile and kind eyes. Not sympathy, just tenderness. "Trust me. " She whispered. Something inside me snapped and I found myself holding tightly to her shirt. My sobs subsided slowly over time and she continued to hold me and rub my back and whisper softly over and over that it's ok, and that I can trust her.

I don't fully understand what happened. I can't say for sure what I'm feeling right now. All I know is� I'm content. Tifa continued to rub my back and I felt like a big pile of mush. I wondered if I felt heavy to her, and before I even registered it, I asked, "Am I heavy Tifa? " Tifa smiled and said, "No, you're not heavy. You can relax. " I had started tensing at the thought, but at her words, I immediately relaxed. After a few minutes, I spoke again. "How did you get to be able to read body language so well? " I asked. Tifa got this reminiscent look on her face and after a few seconds she answered, "I know how because of Cloud. He's my childhood friend. I'd like to say we were close, but we weren't. Because of me, and the other kids who thought him not cool enough to be around, he grew up wanting too. No father, just his Mom. She was kind to him, but her touch wasn't what he wanted. "

"Then he left after we made a promise to each other. He left to join Shinra and become a member of SOLDIER to impress me. When I next saw him, he hadn't made it into SOLDIER yet, so he kept his uniform mask on so I wouldn't know it was him. He was trying hard, but he still hadn't made it into SOLDIER� so he thought I was beneath his notice. Something terrible happened then during his visit. Our hometown was destroyed, and Cloud killed a man named Sephiroth for the first time. When I next saw him, he had been traumatized by what happened during that last visit and what Shinra did to him after. He was no longer the Cloud I knew. He was closed off, confused, and had selective amnesia about certain things that had happened to him, including the time head spent alone wishing to be around me and my friends. Head turned himself into a form of the SOLDIER that he had wanted to be, but he never did join SOLDIER, and head forgotten why he wanted to in the first place. "

"It took me ages to open him back up. I might've never succeeded, if not for an accident that had us both falling into the life stream. We should've died from the poisoning� but I think a friend of ours who'd already died was helping us. She was the last of the Ancients who spoke your language. With her help, I entered Cloud's thoughts and ended up helping him sort out his memories and discovered all the damage I'd unknowingly caused him. Since then, I've been doing my best to get Cloud to open up and read the little emotions in his face. It's taken many years, but he's finally almost as open as he was with me when he was a kid. It was hard work, but seeing him smile openly for all to see is enough to make it worth it. "

I listened to her story, filling in the blanks with my own knowledge of them both. When she finished, I grinned and said, "Well, he doesn't just smile. I won't ever forget the slack jawed expression he gave me when I first asked to see Vincent. It was startling at the time, but now� I think it was one of the funniest things I've ever seen. " She grinned along with me.

"�I remind you of him, don't I? Cloud I mean. " Her smile faded a little and she nodded. I reached out for the hand she was still petting my hair with and took it in my own, and gave it a squeeze. Her smile grew back and I smiled more for it, then frowned slightly. "You helped Cloud out though. So don't feel guilty about it� Ill understand�" She tapped my nose and I almost giggled at the uncharacteristic gesture, then she said, "Don't start thinking that I do this for you out of guilt. My guilt died with Cloud's first smile. My experiences with him just help me understand how much it hurts to feel the way he did. I can't not help someone like that if given the chance. "

I nodded that I understood. We just sat there in contented silence for a few minutes. Her brushing her fingers through my hair, and me enjoying it. Then randomly, I said, "I'm still annoyed that you learned English in only one day.� Tifa blinked at me then started laughing. Her laughter was contagious and I ended up laughing along with her. Once we stopped laughing she wiped her eyes and said, �I'm just lucky I can pick things up quickly, I'm a fast learner.� Then she leaned over and whispered conspiratorially, �At least that's what I tell most people when they ask things like that. In truth, I came across a rare materia in my childhood that helps me learn things quickly." She pulled at a necklace that hung below her neckline and showed me a small blue marble sized materia. I looked to her for permission, then lifted it up and held it with my fingers. �It's so small�� I marveled at it. I thought materia was supposed to be larger. She nodded and said, "That's what makes it rare. I never knew it was a materia until later. I'd always heard materia was bigger than that, and they are. But this one is just small.� I nodded and let it go, and she put it back into her shirt.

�Any chance I can use it to learn Japanese? "I asked. Tifa gave me a look and asked, "Japanese?" I nodded, "A small country on my planet speaks it. It's the same as Gaian here." She grew thoughtful. �That's interesting. Could you tell me more about your home?" So I told her about Earth and how much bigger it is than here and how a guy in Japan made up the story of this place, and how amazing that it's real. Tifa nodded and listened. We talked for hours, her asking me about my culture and other things about my home. I also told her about my family and how large it is, and about the reunions wed have at my Aunts house and there'd be lots of conversation and games.

I was just telling her about Christmas dinner when she asked, �It sounds like your family loves you very much.� I nodded and said, �Yeah�� She looked closely at me when I trailed off. A few seconds passed, then she said, �That's not the whole story is it.� It was a statement, not a question. I nodded and said, �They do love me� but� my family and I don't get along all that well. I'm kind of� the odd one out usually. So I mostly kept to myself. Sometimes some of them would talk to me or I would play games with my cousins�� �But that's not what you wanted." She finished for me. I shook my head, and said softly, �I love my family� so I don't like speaking badly of them� and it wasn't their fault really. I just� closed myself off. I didn't really let them in. I did try� but� it just didn't work out. My parents and I always argued� we used to hug and kiss before going to bed, but that stopped after I got older� when I realized I was the one who always initiated it. I only remember one time� when Dad hugged me out of the blue. And it was to apologize for something. I don't really remember what anymore. All I remember is him hugging me and how shocked I was��

Tifa was still rubbing my back soothingly all throughout this, then when I trailed off again, she said, �You can trust me.� I shuddered and gripped her shirt tighter. Swallowing I asked, �Don't hate them ok? They're my family." She nodded and said softly, "Trust me." Those whispered words had me spilling my guts. All about all the little and big things everyone had done to me at some point in my life that had closed me off, whether it was indifference at home, or downright contempt at church and school. School was the first place I learned of the thing people call bullying and abuse. No one ever hit me� but they never really had to. I'd only ever been hit by a handful of people that I can remember. The first time was a fight in fourth grade, then another in fifth. I never got in a fight after that. People were too afraid of me. So they'd toss words and contempt at me instead.

School bled into the home I guess. My brother constantly told me how much my singing voice sucked, my sister treated me like I was some kind of alien� that hurt the worst, since my youngest sister was the one I was the closest to in the entire family when I was little. My older siblings generally were too busy to pay attention to me, and when I got older, they had already moved out of the house. My youngest brother was the one who hated my voice and treated me with contempt all the time. My next oldest brother� he and I got along ok. After my youngest sister grew distant and condescending, he was the closest I had. He would be nice to me and play games with me on occasion when he wasn't busy with school. The irony of it wouldn't leave me when I realized that both he and I were adopted. No wonder he was the nicest to me. But then that ended too when he went to college. That was the time when I just stopped talking to people. There was no one to talk to who wouldn't shoot me down for something I said, so I kept my words to myself.

When my brother came back from college I was overjoyed and started talking again. It only lasted 10 minutes until he blew up on me and told me to shut up. That's when I knew my brother never really came back from college. I waited until I was alone to cry, but I waited in vain. It's almost impossible to have privacy in a small home with nine other family members. So I learned to school my emotions both at home and at school, learning to shrug things off and pretend they didn't affect me, even though they did and learning not to cry.

As for my parents� I knew they loved me. I suspected it anyway. I tried to find the good in all they did for me whenever I could. Truth be told, I was afraid of them. It wasn't a rare occurrence to be in my room or somewhere in the house and suddenly be interrupted by loud angry shouting as my parents argued with one of my siblings. It always hurt so bad listening to it, especially when I was trying to go to sleep. But I never cried. I couldn't do that anymore. Whenever I listened, I would promise to myself I would be a good kid and never have to be yelled at by my parents. I would be obedient and learn from my brothers and sisters mistakes, so they would never yell at me.

It was good enough promise while it lasted� until they started to yell at me too. At first, I couldn't understand what I did. Then I couldn't understand why they were yelling at me for it. I tried to be good. I really did. But it was always the simple little stuff that everyone makes mistakes over that they yelled at me for. And it would go on for hours about how I was messing up and why I couldn't do better and why did I do this and why did I do that. And worse still, when I tried to answer as best I could, they would yell at me some more for my answer. Pretty soon I was doing my best to try and tell them what they wanted to hear so they would feel better and stop yelling at me. But it never worked. If anything, it just made them angrier. My Dad even hit me once just because I had thought he had stopped talking to me, so I turned back to watch TV and he thought I wasn't paying attention to him again. I just remembered that's what he hugged me to apologize to me for. I never expected him to do that either, the apology that is. My brother had hit me before and he didn't apologize. I had deserved it because in my anger I'd kicked the dog. I wished I hadn't. Then John hit me in the back of the head and told me to never hit the dog. The irony that I couldn't kick the defenseless dog yet he could hit his defenseless brother, in the back of the neck no less, wasn't lost on me either.

For a while, church was my last bastion. The one place where I could go and somewhat enjoy being myself, or as close as I could get whenever the people I couldn't afford to let see the real me anymore were near. Then we ended up having to go to a different church building for a while. I was sad over leaving and cried for the first time in years in the chapel on the last Sunday. I was kind of excited to see the new building though and make new friends. Most everyone at church was so nice, unlike at school or home. That belief got dashed after one or two Sundays. Everyone in Sunday school was like the people at normal school. They treated me with contempt, except for one kid. He treated me with less contempt than the others. I was desperate enough that I took his abuse until I ended up becoming good friends with him, but only after I told him a bit about my past. It was only then he realized what he was doing and tried to stop, but even then it was rocky with him. He even betrayed my confidence once. I forgave him. That's all I could do. What would hate accomplish? I couldn't punish him for it. The trodden can't punish anyone but themselves, so hate would be useless.

And then there were the campouts with the other boys in my church. I still shudder to remember them. I can't even blame them entirely for what happened. It was me who cracked under the stress, who said things to get them off my back, who did things to get them to laugh and like me� those campouts were my living nightmare, but they were for the Boy scouts and all my brothers had done well in them and I knew my parents expected me to do well too and I wanted them to be proud of me and not yell at me anymore, and I wanted to do well too, so I put up with it and went. It was one of the few worthwhile things I had going besides school and choir, even if my brother did put me down for my voice every chance he got. It's not my fault I was a boy soprano. At least he shut up about my voice after it suddenly dropped over the summer, but by then I never sang at home again. Not unless I had to anyway. It doesn't help either that I was watching a Muppet movie later and the boy was singing and I hated the way his voice sounded. It wasn't until later I realized he sounded exactly like I had and I felt horrible.

The Boy scouts were all well and good, but I never did well enough. Not in my parents eyes, or the rest of my family's. I never made Eagle. I didn't have enough drive to get it. I don't think I ever really wanted it. I spent my life doing things so others would be proud of me and be happy for me. I once had a dream to join the Army Core of Engineers, that way I could draw and design weapons like I liked to do and my parents would respect me. But then I found out that the Corp of Engineers didn't do what I thought they had and I wasn't good enough to join them anyway. I was never good enough at what I did, anything I did.

The best thing I was at was at singing, but I'd already spent the entirety of my early years being ridiculed for it by my brother, but I stuck to it because it was one of the few things my Mom praised me for. Plus I liked singing. But I wasn't even good enough at that. I was better than most people, and even better than some actual singers, but I wasn't good enough to make money off of it. Singers needed to be liked, to have charisma, and a certain type of voice. I was good for choir singing. That was it. I even had a dream to join my church's internationally acclaimed volunteer singers. Then I found out that you can't make a living off of doing that, and you have to be thirty or older anyway, so my last dream was dashed.

I don't know why it never crossed my mind to end my life. Maybe when I was younger, it was drilled into our heads that suicide is wrong and I just didn't remember. I didn't really think about suicide until 8th grade. But I swore to myself I never would. I only had one last life line to hang onto. It was a sin to suicide and you couldn't make it to the best kingdom in heaven if you did that. And that's what I want to do. It's the last dream I have left, but I'm doing horribly with even achieving that, though I wouldn't elaborate to Tifa what it was that was keeping me from that.

Going back to the subject of church, I explained to Tifa that one of the worse things that happened, barring the campouts, was when one of my best friends from my old church building had to go to my church building too. I was overjoyed and excited to be with him. Interestingly enough, I first saw him and found out he'd moved into my new church building at a campout. How ironic� when I met him at the campout� he wasn't the best friend I knew anymore. We used to laugh and joke and play� now he treated me with even more contempt and venom than even the other guys. It was horrifying. We even almost got into a fight too. It took months but somehow we became friends again, but that didn't change the lesson I learned that day, or to be more exact, the lesson I had that was then compounded with the lesson I learned in kindergarten when my first best friend started avoiding me to hang out with someone else. I can't trust my friends. I can't trust anyone.

At this point I was too choked up to continue anymore. Dredging up all those memories had made me start crying again, and I wasn't alone. Even Tifa was shedding tears barely five minutes into my lengthy rambling rehash of my history. I try not to think about it too much for this very reason. I buried my face again into her still slightly damp shoulder and sobbed. I thought I heard the door open and close once but I couldn't be sure. Then I felt a hand on my shoulder, and wiping my eyes quickly, I tried to assume as much dignity as the situation allowed and turned to face the owner of the hand.

I hadn't expected to see Shelke, that much is for certain. "Shelke?" I asked, uncertain. She looked up at Tifa, who was regarding her with suspicion, and her glowing eyes suddenly became understanding. �I just came to see if you were ok. A side effect of the neural reading is that all memories that were scanned are more likely to cause you to feel the emotion they once caused, and a good chunk of your memories were� unpleasant.� I laughed bitterly, �So rehashing nearly all my bad memories was a pretty bad idea?� Shelke nodded and asked, �Are you alright?�. I sighed and leaned back into Tifa suddenly not caring if Shelke saw or not. I think Shelke thought that was answer enough because she didn't say anything else. Then something occurred to me and I turned back to face her and asked, �How'd you get out of the Shinra building? Don't they have you on lockdown or something?� she answered, �Most of the Deep Ground members are getting a chance to go out and look around now that we know we are no longer obligated to Shinra anymore. They're terming it as a type of reconnaissance.� I grinned and said, �You snuck out didn't you?"

To my surprise, Shelke blushed and she said, �I find it creepy that you know me well enough to know when I'm twisting the truth.� I shrugged and said, �I'm a master at twisting the truth. If I wasn't� well� you saw what my parents were like.� Shelke immediately sobered up and nodded and said, �Yes� I did.� Tifa, who had merely been watching the exchange, inwardly happy that I hadn't tried once to move away from her arms even once, asked, �Are you going to introduce me?� I stared up wide eyed at Tifa and said, �I'm so sorry! I didn't mean� Tifa, this is Shelke from Deep Ground. Shelke, this is Tifa.� Shelke gave a small bow and said, �It's a pleasure to meet you Tifa-san.� Tifa smiled and said, �Please, save the formalities. Just Tifa will be fine.� Shelke nodded, �Very well Tifa. I must be going now. Since you seem to have a vested interest, you might like to note that all the information he's telling you is on that disk on the dresser, though I suggest you skip around if you don't want to end up watching for 17 years straight.�

I stared straight at her in shock and said, �My entire life is on that disk!?� Shelke nodded and said, �I'm glad to see you have someone to look after you. I wasn't sure if Tifa would or not from what I saw when I was connected to you, but I'm glad I wasn't wrong. I also wanted to let you know that Professor Hojo is dead. Nero took care of him, but� you were right about Lucrecia. Her memories were intertwined with his downloaded conscience, so she was destroyed along with him. Vincent gave the go ahead in the end.� I nodded in understanding and said, �I hope he found some closure.� Shelke nodded and said, �He's at her grave.� I nodded understanding who she was talking about. Tifa looked confused, so I said, �I'm sorry. It's not really my place to tell. Vincent has his own demons to face. Figuratively as well as literally.�

Tifa nodded and Shelke gave me a smile and said, �I may not be the best of pals with Vincent like we could have been� but I'm glad to have met you. Thanks to you, I can go find my sister now. So many lives were saved. You're a hero Matt. Thank you.� I felt my face flush at her praise, which surprised me since I'd never felt such a thing before. Shelke looked surprised too and just stared at me for a few moments, then looked between me and Tifa, who had watched the entire exchange mostly in silence. Then Shelke said, �I should take my leave. I want to start on finding my sister as soon as possible.� She turned to leave but Tifa stopped her, �Shelke, ask Cloud to help you. If she's in Edge, he'll know where to find her. Just tell him I referred you to him.� Shelke looked surprised then bowed low and said, �Arigatou.� Again she turned to leave and again she was stopped, by me this time. �Shelke! When you find your sister, will you bring her over so I can meet her?� Shelke grinned and said, �Baka. Of course.� With that she left.

�Interesting friend eh?� Tifa nodded and said, �You know, I actually do know about Lucrecia. I also know where that grave you mentioned is. I was with Vincent and Cloud when they found it.� I smiled sheepishly and said, �Oh ok.� We sat in silence for a few minutes, just listening and feeling� a sudden thought caught my attention as I was listening to the clink of plates downstairs. �Tifa, who's watching the bar when you're up here for long periods of time?� Tifa answered simply, �Marlene is watching it for me.� I looked at her in shock. �But she's just a little girl!� She chuckled and said, �Don't let her hear you say that. Just because she's small doesn't mean she isn't fit to run a bar. I've taught her everything I know, and it's good for her to know I trust her enough to watch the bar on her own.� I asked, �What if there's trouble?�

Tifa laughed, �At the Seventh Heaven Bar and Restaurant? Home to two members of Avalanche who took on Sephiroth and saved the world? The only reason we aren't swamped by well wishers is because Cloud nearly cleaved someone in two with his sword the last time we were bothered. So no, no one will cause trouble at my bar. The only trouble we ever receive is people who pay double the normal amount of tip.� I chuckled at the mental image of Cloud cutting some paparazzi in two, then In reply I said, �I only left as much tip as everyone else seemed to be leaving!� Tifa answered, �I meant that everyone else is leaving double the normal amount of tip. You on the other hand, double even that.� Tifa tousled my hair at that statement and a nice fuzzy warmth settled in me and nearly had me purring. Tifa raised an eyebrow and said, �You like that?� I nodded and snuggled closer to her. Tifa smiled happily and began to ruffle my hair with earnest, causing me to giggle.

�You're so nice Tifa� I kind of wish you really were my mom�� I immediately felt bad for saying it and looked away. My Mom deserved more than that. She pressed a warm hand to my face, catching my attention and said, �It's ok to have two mothers, Matthew. I won't ever hurt you, and I won't yell at you either. I'd gladly have you be part of the family.� I leaned up at her words in joy and threw my arms around her neck in a big hug. Tifa hugged me back and asked me, �Are you hungry? It's almost Lunch time.� In response my stomach growled. Tifa laughed and said, �Lets go get you some food.� I nodded and followed her down the stairs.

Tifa seemed a little pensive about something, but before I could ask, she shook it off and got herself and I big portions of food. Marlene saw us and asked, “**** ***** *** Tifa?” Tifa shook her head and said, “**** ****** ****.” We sat down and I asked, “What'd you two say?” Tifa smiled and said, “She asked if we needed help. I told her that we didn't.” I nodded and began to dig in to the food, suddenly aware of how hungry I was for missing breakfast. We ate in a comfortable silence, though it reminded me of home a lot and the quiet meals I shared with my parents. I sighed. Tifa laid a hand on my arm and I looked up and gave her a smile to reassure her. She smiled back and asked, “Do you want to talk about it?” I shrugged and looked down and said, “It's nothing really. When I was at home, I would always have quiet meals with my parents since I never said anything. I could never think of anything to say really. It was different before then though. My brothers and sisters never let it stay quiet for long at the table. It was fun listening to them. They almost always had something funny to say…”

Tifa looked concerned and asked, “Would you rather we talked?” I shrugged again and said, “I'm used to eating quietly. I wouldn't know what to talk about anyway.” Tifa gave me a look and asked, “You don't know what to talk about, or you don't know if I'd find anything you say interesting or funny?” I was about to retort that it wasn't, but then I thought about it. I honestly don't know much about what kind of things Tifa likes to talk about. The only things I've talked about with her so far are just learning things about each other. Like the fact that she has a materia that helps her learn. Thinking about that, I answered, “Both I guess…” Tifa asked, “Why is that?” I answered, “I don't know what you like to talk about or what kind of jokes you like I guess. Although I'm not all that great with jokes…” I almost swore Tifa's eyes sparkled and she said, “Try me.”

Eyes widening, I fumbled around. “Um… uh… why did the chicken cross the road?” Tifa's lips quirked a little and asked, “I don't know, why?” I answered, “To get to the other side.” I shrugged when she didn't laugh, and said, “The joke isn't really that funny honestly. It's just nearly one of the oldest jokes on my planet, and it was the only one I could think of…” Tifa answered honestly, “Perhaps it would be funnier if you put your own spin to it? For one, what's a chicken?” I gaped at her and said, “A chicken is… well it's a bird. A small white bird that's kind of dumb. I guess you could say it's the size of a Cactuar. People eat chickens since they taste good. I guess the point of the joke isn't really knowing why the chicken crossed the road, but to imagine a dumb chicken crossing the road and well… failing badly.” Tifa smiled a little and asked, “So how would you put your own spin to that?” I smiled a little as I remembered something and said, “I did put my own spin on it actually once. But… you probably wouldn't get it. The few people I do tell it to don't really get it. And if I have to explain it, it wouldn't really be all that funny. Tifa I'm honestly not that great with jokes. I really can't think of any right now.”

Tifa smiled and said, “That's ok. How about I tell a joke first and we'll see how you feel after that?” I nodded eagerly and wolfed down another portion of my meal while Tifa thought. Then she smiled and said, “When Cloud was younger, and we were fighting a man named Sephiroth, Cloud had this permanent spike in his hair. He could never figure out where it came from or why it never went down, until after we finished the fight with Sephiroth. Do you know why it never went down?” I shook my head no and said, “Why?” Tifa grinned and said, “Well, we didn't know either, until one day, our friend Cait Sith, happened to look in his tent to wake him up, and saw him tugging at his own hair with his hand and mumbling threats at Sephiroth about cutting his hair off!”

My mouth fell open and I asked, “Are you serious?” She nodded, smiling. I started cracking up, imagining it. “Did Cloud ever find out?” Tifa answered, “No, and I pray he never does. It's just too funny.” I nodded, and tried to think of a good joke to tell. Thinking aloud, I asked, “Why did Cloud use a sword? He could just swing his head around and poke everyone full of holes.” Tifa snorted and burst out laughing and I joined in when I realized what I just said and got the rather amusing mental image. Continuing on that line, I asked, “And what about Barrett? Where does he get his ammo? Does he eat bullets for breakfast? And if so, what happens when he needs to poop?” Tifa got all wide eyed and said, “I never really thought about that before. He does always seem to have ammo in his gun, but where does it come from?” I shrugged and said, “I don't know. Somehow that was supposed to be a joke, but I don't think it came off right�� Tifa smiled and said, �It was funny Matthew. My thoughts just distracted me.� I frowned a little and said, �You're sure?� Tifa laid a hand on my arm and said, �Trust me.� I bit my lip then slowly asked, �Just keep reminding me� ok?�

Tifa nodded and picked up our finished plates before I could grab them and took them behind the counter into that backdoor where the food processor machine thing was to clean them. She came back out and sat across from me and regarded me. A little unnerved, I asked, �What?� �I was waiting for you to start a conversation.� She responded simply, smiling just a little. Then I realized, she's smirking at me! I didn't know whether to just stay silent or say something witty back. Unfortunately nothing came to mind, so I opted for silence. When that stretched out, Tifa's smirk slowly became pensive. I looked down and said, �Sorry��

Tifa got up and took my arm and helped me get up. I didn't need the help, but I appreciated the gesture. �Come on.� She said. Curious, I followed her outside. She lead me to the middle of the main square and stopped and turned around to face me. I stopped a little ways from her. She asked, �What do you see?� Blinking at such a random question, I looked around and said, �I see the main square.� �What else?� She asked. Scratching the back of my head, I looked around. ��I see people, you, buildings, that square monument in the middle where the meteor monument used to be�� Tifa gestured me to go on. Not really getting it, I kinda reached for straws next. �Ummm� cement� the sky� parts of myself�� Tifa raised an eyebrow and asked, �Parts of yourself?� I nodded and said, �Well ya. I can see my arms and if I look down I can see my body.�

> > �How would you describe what you see to someone who hasn't seen it?� Tifa asked. I looked around and said, �Lots of cement, lots of people, plenty of wreckage surrounding the place, I'm honestly surprised people live here. It seems so� so� depressing here.� Tifa nodded and said, �Do you know what I see?� I shook my head. She answered, �I see hope. I see a people who are surrounded by the reminders of their past and they are made stronger for them. They persevere. They could be depressed, or they could go work for one of the local companies to help build, expand, restore, or any other profession a person chooses to follow. I myself keep a lively bar open that attracts a lot of workers for lunch to have a place to chat.� She turned to look around at everything then said, �It's a work in progress to build this place� but we will.�

She turned to me and said, �Can you see?� Looking around, I could see what she meant. I turned back to her and said, �I see what you mean. You're a part of that history though, so you've gained that insight. I was a stranger here, and still am mostly. I only have such a view now since you shared it. But that still doesn't change my original view either. I see it both ways.� Tifa nodded, and asked, �Which way do you prefer to see it?� I frowned, the wheels in my head turning. ��the� positive side� you're trying to teach me something.� I said. Tifa nodded and said, �I am.� She gestured for me to continue. �You want me to look at the positive side of the town�� I gave up stumped. Gently, Tifa took my hand in hers and asked, �How does that apply to yourself?�

Apply to myself? �Viewing the positive side of myself?� I asked, thinking. Tifa waited. �Well� I would prefer to view the positive side of myself�� Tifa nodded and said, �It's good to hear you say that. But you weren't being very positive about yourself earlier were you?� Thinking back I shook my head no, and said, �You're right. I just get so frustrated. What's wrong with me?� Tifa shook her head and asked, �Why don't you ask what's right with you instead?� I blinked and said, �Huh?� Tifa patiently said, �Well, what is right with you?� I blinked again and said, �What is� right with me? I� never really thought of that before...� Tifa nodded and said, �If you like I can name a few. But you have to come up with some yourself too ok?�

I nodded, and she took me over to a bench and we sat down and she said, �Alright. For one, what's right with you, is that you now have a family who will love and take care of you here, and accept you no matter what. You're a very good and loving person. You can sleep in a bed and be warm all the time instead of sleeping behind a dumpster and freezing for the night. You're honest, you helped to save all those people and worked hard to do so. You made a friend. You have all the time in the world here to become even better at the good things you want to do, and you have supporting friends and family who will accept and encourage you the entire time. You have a mother who understands you and will gladly hug you and touch you whenever you like.�

With that last one she drew me in for warm hug. When we separated, we were sitting closer than before, and I really wanted to lean my head on her shoulder, but while looking around and noticing all the people, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I gave Tifa a slightly desperate look. She saw this and asked, �What is it Matthew?� I fumbled, �I�� I tried, but I couldn't say it for some reason. I turned away, annoyed at my inability to speak and explain what I wanted. Suddenly, Tifa took a hold of my shoulder and pulled my over so my head was in her lap. My cheeks grew warm with embarrassment with all the people around, but no one ever gave us a second look, so I relaxed slowly.

Tifa smiled as I relaxed and she petted my hair. If she keeps this up, I'm going to start thinking I died and went to heaven rather than just getting sent to a... a what? A fictional world? Another universe? Another dimension? Tifa suddenly tapped my head, successfully derailing the train of thought that was about to give me a headache. I looked up at her and said quietly, "Thanks." She replied, "Your welcome. What were you thinking about?" I shook my head and said, "Nothing good. I was just wondering where exactly I am. Did I get sent to another time or dimension or another universe even?... I don't know how I'm ever going to get home... how'd you know to do that?" Tifa had looked pensive but at my question she smiled again and said, "I can read the smallest facial expressions remember? You were starting to look worried and were getting a headache from it." All I could say was, "Oh. Well thanks." She replied, "Your welcome." We sat there in silence for a little while and I shifted to get more comfortable on the bench and brought my feet up onto the bench as well. Tifa had that pensive look again, so I reached up and tapped the side of her head just like she did me. She looked down at me and I said, "Penny for your thoughts?" She gave a small smile and asked, "What's a penny?" I rolled my eyes a little and amended my statement, "A gil for your thoughts?" Tifa chuckled at my antics and I grinned back, then she got that pensive look again and said, "I was just thinking about what you were thinking about before... Matthew... I just wanted you to know, that if it does turn out that you can't go back... I hope you'll be happy to stay with us and think of us as your real family, but only if you want to."

I reached for Tifa's hand and grabbed it and gave it a squeeze and a happy smile. She smiled back looking relieved and I asked, "Why were you so worried about that?" For a moment I thought she might not answer, then she responded, "I was worried that if you couldn't find a way back to your other family, I couldn't help but think about how you might react... I was worried you might hurt yourself instead of staying with us." I shook my head and squeezed her hand again and said, "Back where I'm from, there's a religion I'm a part of that I believe in even now. And one of the things about my religion is it's a really bad thing to kill yourself. For a long time now... my beliefs on what will happen after death has been what keeps me going, and knowing that if I kill myself early, I could lose that... life is too short to make it even shorter." Tifa nodded and said, "I'm glad to hear that. Would you tell me about your religion?"

> >

> > I nodded and said, "Keep in mind this probably only applies to me since you guys have the life stream and all that." I twisted around to look up at her and I told her about my religion back home, about the creation of the Earth, about Jesus Christ's birth, death, and resurrection, about the premortal realm, the spirit world afterwards, the day of judgment, and then the three kingdoms of heaven. When I wrapped it up, Tifa looked really thoughtful. Then she said, "Thank you for sharing that with me. I can see why you would believe so strongly in that and wish to stay alive in order to see it happen. It gives you a lot of hope doesn't it?" I nodded, but added, "It does give me a lot of hope for the future. Though it certainly makes this life look pretty bad, since it is supposed to be a test. Even though my past makes me sad, knowing that this life is going to pale in comparison to my life after death and that what I'm facing is only temporary, it gives me the strength to keep going."

Tifa nodded, then looked around and said, "We've been out for a while. We should get back in time for dinner." I said, "Ok," and got up. We went back to the bar and I asked Tifa, "What should I do now?" Tifa asked, "What would you like to do?" I thought and said, "Well, I do need to go to Wutai at some point and figure out what's at that X. But before then, I should probably learn the language here..." I sighed. Tifa regarded me and said, "You don't like learning?" I shrugged and said, "I like learning ok, but I don't really like learning stuff that's difficult. I like being able to pick up stuff easily, and languages were never one of them." Tifa replied, "I might let you borrow my materia, but you have to promise to keep it hidden, and don't let anyone know about it. Promise?" I nodded and said, "I promise. Why do you want it to stay hidden though?" We had reached the door to the bar, and as Tifa walked in, she said, "Because a certain friend of mine would probably steal it of course." I laughed and said, "Good point."

I followed Tifa behind the bar an into the back room so I could get a look at the food processor. Tifa had mentioned it in passing earlier, so I was curious about it. Walking in, my eyes nearly bugged out. The room was kind of small, about the size of one of the bedrooms, but the machine inside of it, nearly fit the entire room! Pipes and panels were everywhere, as well as a few knobs, and two compartments, one for returning trays and one for taking trays I guess. Tifa went up to a console and pressed some buttons on a keyboard. The machine started making a hissing noise, and then a ding sounded, and I watched as two trays of food slid out of a hole and into one of the compartments, and Tifa pulled them out and handed me one. I eyed the machine and asked, "How does it work?" Tifa answered, "A combination of water, heat, dehydrated ingredients, and a little bit of specialized materia. Depending on how you input the directions into the machine will alter how the food comes out."

Tifa and I went to our usual table and started eating. I'm starting to feel lazy, but I suppose I can just consider this a day off after the nonstop excitement I've already had. Taking a bite of my food, I looked at Tifa and noticed she had that pensive look again. I couldn't help wondering at it, and I'm pretty sure that what she told me earlier is only part of it. We continued to eat in silence as I waited for us to go back upstairs so I could ask her what's really wrong. She'd let me go the entire meal in silence for crying out loud! Once we finished, I grabbed the trays before she could and took them to the processor to be cleaned. Of course, then I got into a bit of a dilemma since I had no idea how exactly to put the trays in the machine. Tifa took one and demonstrated how the tray sits in the compartment and is pulled into the machine. After I put the tray in, I reached for Tifa's hand and gently pulled to get her to follow me up the stairs. “What?” She asked.

I waited till the door was closed, then I turned around and hugged her. She seemed a little surprised, but then hugged me back warmly. After a moment, I pulled back and asked, “What's wrong Tifa? I know you didn't tell me everything when I asked you earlier. Why do I keep seeing you looking so worried and distracted?” Tifa looked down and said, “It's not really my place…” I didn't understand, and asked, “What isn't your place?” Tifa sighed and said, “We might not find a way to return you to your home. But we might be able to… and if we do… I don't want you to go.” I looked at her in shock and slowly asked, “You want me to stay here and not go back to Earth? Why?” Tifa looked at me like I'm crazy and said, “Why not? I told you why I want you to be a part of this family, and what I think about you. Is it so hard to extend those reasons to wanting you to stay?” I shook my head as I processed this.

Tifa wants me to stay. She wants me to be a part of her family, as her son and I would have her as my Mom. I would finally have the loving caring mother I always wanted. I'm among people I can look up to and strive to be like, and I can really make a difference here if I chose to. But to give up my life on Earth… as much as they've hurt me, family is still family. But if I went back… I'd go back to being alone again, and only partially understood by most people. There's nothing really back there for me other than family as well. No job, no place I can really help or make a difference. I've got a few things to gain and a whole lot to lose by going back home.

Meanwhile Tifa was watching me, waiting for me to respond. I opened my mouth, hesitating, then said, “Tifa… I'd like to be able to go back…” Tifa's face fell. I continued, “They are my family after all, regardless if they treated me well not. I would like to see them again... they deserve to know why I disappeared... and why they won't be seeing me again." Tifa, who'd been looking pained, suddenly looked confused, and asked, "Wait... you want to stay?" I nodded and she suddenly hugged me, hard. I gasped out, "Cant... breathe!" She loosened her hold and I caught my breath and hugged her back. Tifa leaned back and said, "I'm glad you decided to stay." I smiled back and said, "Like I could leave. Thinking about leaving here... I may have family on Earth... but I have family here too. And... well, I'd rather stay here. Though I'm certainly going to need to introduce some stuff from Earth, that's for sure." Tifa smiled even more and asked, "Tired of feeling alone?" I hugged her tighter in response. She responded in kind, then kissed my forehead. I felt my cheeks burn at the contact. It felt really good.

>

> Tifa noticed my embarrassment and laughed lightly. "Never been kissed before?" she asked. I shook my head and said, "Not really... the last time I was kissed were those hugs and kisses goodnight when I was little that I told you about." Tifa's smile grew into a more concerned look and said, "Do kisses make you feel uncomfortable?" I shook my head and said, "No... I always thought kissing to be for couples, though." I suddenly felt even more uncomfortable and I hoped it didn't mean what I thought. Tifa shook her head and said, "If you're alright with trying, I could help you get used to friendly kisses." I nodded, feeling torn.

>

> See, I have a dilemma now. With that kiss, I realized that I might like Tifa a bit more than just as a mother. But at the same time I'd rather only be her son. And she has Cloud and I have... I have... I don't have anyone... I bit my lip. Maybe I should start dating. I wonder if Shelke or Yuffie would be interested? Nah, Yuffie is too high maintenance. Shelke... well who knows. Tifa pinched my arm and I yelped and looked at her accusing. She rubbed the spot and gave me a smile. I sighed. Tifa asked, "Are you alright? What are you thinking about?" Thinking quickly, I decided to be honest. "Tifa... I-I'm not sure what I want all of a sudden, ok? I'm not changing my decision to stay here." The pinched look on her face relaxed and I continued, "It's just... I realized something just now that... complicates things." Tifa didn't say anything so I kept going, "It's just... I really like you. I want to be your son and I would love for you to be my mother. But..." my throat kinda stuck there. Tifa was still waiting for me to finish and even though she was trying to hide it, she looked confused. Swallowing, I said it in a rush, "IthinkImaywantmorethanthat." Tifa blinked and I watched as she tried to translate what I just said. Then her eyes widened and her mouth opened in a small O. I shrugged helplessly and looked away, wishing the ground would just swallow me up right now. We stood there for a while, the tension I felt was like a brick wall between us. I turned away from her and sighed. "I know you and Cloud have a thing for each other and all... I'd be just a third wheel. And while I may want more... I also just want to be your son too. So don't worry about it. Maybe if I get used to it, friendly kisses will just seem friendly to me. Or maybe... I don't know..." I trailed off helplessly, feeling suddenly like a huge weight had settled on me. And still she hadn't said anything. Then I heard her start walking. I didn't move, not wanting to see if she was leaving or not.

 

I felt arms snake around me in a loose hold and I nearly jumped at the shock when she first touched me. She leaned her cheek on my head. I didn't know what to do. I felt stiff as a board. One of her hands started rubbing my stomach in a small circle and it felt like butterflies were dancing there. The warmth and her ministrations undid me and I relaxed, even if I didn't really understand her intentions. It felt like forever in which we just stood there, frozen in the moment, even as the light outside dimmed and the winds picked up and rattled the window with snow. Thank goodness for the heater. Despite myself I felt myself growing tired. Suppressing a yawn, I let myself slip into the sea of calm that is the state between wakefulness and sleep. In that place, I turned around. Tifa loosened her hold enough so I could do so till I could look in her eyes. I couldn't see her. I simply place my own arms around her and feeling rather uninhibited in this state, I leaned forward and pressed a small kiss to her lips. It felt warm and good. She didn't pull away or stop me. She just let me. She wasn't kissing back though, but that was ok right now.

 

Leaning back again, I tried to look for some kind of reaction. She didn't move. She wasn't frozen or stiff. She just... wasn't moving. "Tifa?..." I tried. Her head tilted a little and I swallowed and asked, "What are we doing?" After a few moments passed, I almost gave up on getting an answer, when she replied softly, "We're holding each other in a dark room." I could almost hear the humor in her voice and I grew perplexed. "Why are we holding each other? Why did you let me kiss you?" I felt more than saw her shake her head and say softly, "Don't ask me that yet." Still confused, but feeling a little detached in that calm still, I did the only logical thing I could do in that situation. I kissed her again. No more, no less, just the same kiss as before, only in a different spot on her lips. My first and second kiss now belong to Tifa Lockhart. Leaning back to see if there's any kind of reaction, I feel shocked as I notice her arms shaking. In fact, her entire body is shaking.

 

"Tifa? Are you ok?" I asked. She didn't answer, though her trembling subsided just a little. Slowly, her arms detached from me and she took a step back. Confused and feeling lost, I bit my lip and felt tears well up that I quickly tried to blink away on automatic. Suddenly, Tifa's arms were around me again as she nearly jumped on me considering how quickly she moved. I staggered from it, and the back of my legs hit the edge of the bed, and we both went down. Do you know the feeling of falling unexpectedly? How exhilarating and frightening it is? In that split moment I almost saw my life flash before my eyes, and I suddenly knew exactly what Shelke meant when she said there were missing pieces in my memory. Unexplained jumps in age and time where things should be and they weren't. The rush that hit me as I finally hit the mattress with Tifa sprawled on me with her hair in my face and her arms pinned slightly underneath me nearly overwhelmed me. So many implications of this, so many different feelings, what is Tifa thinking, why are there holes in my memories, how did I end up here, but suddenly it all boiled down into one moment. One moment as a gleam of moonlight came from behind a cloud and shot out from the moon and across Tifa's face, revealing the most beautiful sight I'd ever seen. Sparkling brown eyes in a perfect face. I was stared transfixed at the image of near ethereal beauty.

 

An eternity in a moment, and then it was over and my mind helpfully supplied how awkward this situation is and why the heck is Tifa in my bed and not Cloud's? Before I had a chance to think anything else, I blurted out, "What about Cloud?" I winced as Tifa nearly recoiled at the sound of his name and my heart again settled down into the pit of my chest like a stone. She doesn't know what she wants either... I realized. Suddenly Tifa went limp and I nearly gasped as certain areas touched… certain areas and I'm sure if I held a match to my face, it would suddenly burst into flame. I tried to wriggle out from under her, but that just brushed that against that and I gasped again and went completely still. The only thing I could really notice is her breathing and how good her body felt and my heart is thundering and is she asleep and what do I do!? Her breathing had gotten really slow and soft and my heart skipped a beat as another moon beam passed over her face, her eyes closed and her mouth slightly open as she breathed, and again I was struck with how ethereal she looks. I closed my eyes and turned away, unsure if I should be seeing such a thing or not. This is something her lover should see. Cloud should see this. Why doesn't he!?

 

Almost as if bidden, my mind helpfully supplied one name, and suddenly I felt very aggravated over a certain spiky blonde's idiocy. Aerith. I figured he'd have gotten over her considering she's dead and with Zack and Cloud saw that for himself. Or maybe… maybe he has and he just doesn't like Tifa? Frowning, I decided to get to the bottom of it. Wide awake now, with resolve, I slipped out from under Tifa and tried to settle her in a comfortable position, lifting her head to put a pillow beneath it and cover her with as much of the covers as I could with her lying on them, and I fished her cell phone out of her pocket. I quietly left the room and felt my way down the stairs. No lights were on downstairs. Is it really that late? Flipping the phone open, I winced at the kanji that greeted me as the phone lighted up. Gritting my teeth, I pressed the button where one should be and hit talk, hoping against hope Cloud would be first on her speed dial, while at the same time dreading it, but I swallowed down the feeling and concentrated on my task.

 

I listened to the dial tone go off a couple times, then the phone got picked up and I sighed in relief as Cloud's voice answered, “Hai.” I kept my voice calm and said, “Cloud?” A few seconds passed, then Cloud said, “Matthew?... wh-what is… going on? It must be… late there. S-something… wrong?” I nearly felt giddy at listening to his broken English. This'll make things so much easier. “where are you?” I asked. “Ancient city. L-looking for Genesis Rhapsodos and b-rushing… up on Eng-lish.” Cloud had taken a few seconds to answer. I again marveled at Tifa's ability to pick things up so fast, materia or no. I said, “I need to talk to you. When can we meet up?” Cloud translated for a few seconds then said, “Call Cid. He'll c-curse your… ear off, but he'll… get you in an… hour.” I nodded even though he couldn't see me and asked, “How will he know what I'm saying?” Cloud answered, “Cid… knows Eng-lish. Long time.” I responded. “Ok. Thank you.” “You're welcome.” He said automatically. “Bye.” I said. He said “Bye,” then hung up.

 

I looked at the phone again and bit my lip. Which one is Cid? Sighing, I pressed the second number and hit talk. The ring tone went through, till someone picked up, and a gruff voice said, “Yo Tifa, *** *****?” “Cid?” I said. There was silence on the other line for a second then the voice said, “Barrett.” Then hung up. I winced. Trying again, I hit 3 and talk, but instead of a dialing tone, I just got a beeping noise that I guessed meant the number didn't do anything. Hanging up, I hit the next number and hit talk. The dial tone went through and then there was a click and a cheery voice said, “Hai. Cait Sith * Reddo thirteen ***** ****. *** **** Tifa?” I shook my head and asked, “Cid?” The line suddenly burst out with chatter as the voice went “***************************************Matthew********************** ********************************Tifa****?” I winced as the voice continued to jabber on and on. Feeling a little guilty a quietly hung up. Feeling not a little trepidation at what might come next, I hit the next number and talk. The dial tone rang out for a bit, then someone picked up and said, “Hai, **** Tifa.” I sighed in slight relief and disappointment at Vincent's voice. “Hey Vincent, it's me Matthew. I'm just trying to get a hold of Cid. Unfortunately going through her speed dial numerically means I've now called everyone she knows just to get a hold of him.” Vincent asked, “Why do you need to talk to Cid?” I gulped at his annoyed tone and said, “I need to get a ride over to Cloud. I already asked him if we could talk and he told me to call Cid. He said that Cid already knows English.” Vincent said, “The next number is Cid's. All of our speed dial's go in order of meeting who we met first.” I nodded and said, “Ok, thanks.” Before I could say bye, he hung up. I sighed and pressed the next number and hit talk.

 

The dial tone rung quite a few times before it picked up and a voice said, “@#$% Tifa, ****** ***** @#$% **** *****?” I winced at the colorful language I could understand clearly. Evidently Cid learned English just so he could curse in it. Great. Clearing my throat, I said, “Hey Cid. My name is Matthew. I've been living with Tifa for a little while. I just called Cloud cause I need to see him, but he's over at the City of Ancients and he told me to call you…” Suddenly the line burst with colorful language cursing Cloud's lineage and ancestry in ways that were impressive and inventive. I shook my head, trying not to laugh. When he finished, he said, “Kid, what the @#$% do you need to see Cloud for this early in the #$%^ @#$%#$% morning?” I winced and said, “I need to talk to him… about… can you keep a secret?” Cid sighed and cursed under his breath and said, “Fine kid, what's yer problem?” I answered, “It's not really a problem… I just… I need to talk to him about Tifa.” There was silence on the line, then he said, “That speaks loads about ya kid. This is one trip I won't complain about, even if it is @#$%^&* 1:30 in the morning. Head out to the cliffs to your southeast. I'll pick you up there.” I nodded and said, “Thank you. I really appreciate it.” Cid answered, “Jus' don't make a habit of it and we'll call it even.” “Ok.” I answered. “See ya.” “Bye kid.” Then he hung up.

 

Sighing, I quietly walked back upstairs and went into the room. Tifa had gotten a little more tangled up in the sheets, and I went over and straightened them. She shifted at my touch and mumbled, “Cloud…” I froze, then shook my head and went over to pick up my jacket and my knife, even more determined than before. I left my backpack, since it didn't have anything I needed. I'm severely glad for the jacket though as I eyed the snow drifts smacking against the window outside. Walking back downstairs, I paused at the door outside, eyeing the weather, and trying to judge where southeast is, I stepped outside and headed that way.