Legend Of Zelda Fan Fiction ❯ Four Gourds Adventure ❯ Cream of Mushroom ( Chapter 4 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

THE LEGEND OF ZELDA
Four Gourds Adventure
by AladdinAbu

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~CHAPTER FOUR: Cream Of Mushroom~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Link?"

Every bone in his body ached for him to stay still. His warm bed felt so good, and there was no hurry. Life was good in Kokiri village.

"Link, wake up!"

Even Saria should know that he was too tired to move. Why was she pestering him? Because they were good friends, and you can joke like that with good friends. Still, he would have to tell her off. "Go 'way, hmmmmnnhh..."

"Come on, you lazy bones, you- this is no time to loaf around!"

He rolled over as his eyes fluttered open, but instead of seeing Saria's face over the side of his bed, he saw her boots standing on moss. What? That didn't make any sense - he'd need to have fallen asleep in the forest for that to make sense, and why would he when he had his own treehouse?

With a jolt he realized that didn't make sense, either. He hadn't slept in his treehouse in many nights. One by one, pictures flashed through his mind: the Great Deku Tree dying, Navi, Hyrule castle town, Zelda, Lon Lon Ranch, Malon, Death Mountain, the Zoras, Ruto... and the castle in flames. Gasping, he shot to a sitting position.

"About time," Saria said as she bent over him, green-hued locks falling into her eyes and curling around her cheeks. Her smile was somewhat snarky, but she looked happy to see him all the same. "I think you have some explaining to do."

"I... I... Saria!" he shouted, staggering to his feet. His head protested by way of a sharp throbbing. "WHOA, OUCH! Oogh... I c-can't-"

"WHOOPS!" Deftly, her arms shot under him just in time, helping him over to a tree. "Get your legs for a minute. What's wrong with you?"

"Too... too much... OW, my head, it's splitting open..."

"Here, eat this," she whispered, handing him a tiny mushroom from within her pouch. "It'll take the edge off - but you probably remember it will, we both learned it the same day."

"Yeah... you're right." He smiled warmly, then popped it into his mouth. No sooner had it landed in his stomach than he felt the headache began to wane slightly, though he continued to need the trunk for support. "Thanks. But... but Saria, what are you doing here?"

"I think the question of the hour is, what were YOU doing here a few minutes ago?"

"What do you mean?" But her arms were folded and her foot was tapping, which meant she already knew and was waiting for him to come clean. "No, I- that's... wait, what are you talking about? Where'd you come from?"

His childhood friend shook her head. "Passing the buck already? Same old Link." Frowning at him now, eyes cast more toward his hand than his face, she asked, "I need to know something. Are you and Princess Zelda... together?"

"Zelda?" All other concerns forgotten, he grabbed her hard around the shoulders, shaking her in his anxiousness. "You know where she is?! Where?! Is she okay, did anything happen to-"

"Relax, loverboy," she snickered, batting his arms away. "Princess Zelda's fine. Or, I guess I should say she's alive and well. Pissed, but alive and well."

"What do you mean?"

After a moment of quiet, Saria turned away from him, staring into the trees. "Both of us saw you together," she began quietly. "You and that... whatever it is."

"What do you-" But she could only mean one thing. "Ruto? Wait, you saw- but-"

"We were both pretty floored," she said hollowly. "But the princess... she completely lost it. I don't know where they ended up, though, 'cause I decided to stay by you."

The implications of the information Saria was giving him began to sink in. Zelda, somehow, had ended up with Saria - perhaps she found Kokiri Village while he slept. Zelda and Saria, returning to the clearing together, had seen him with Ruto, which meant they'd seen him entering her secret cove with his yellow gourd. Though he had been unsure whether or not this was considered abnormal, or would even matter to anyone else, Zelda's apparent reaction gave him a bad feeling.

"How could you, Link?" Saria asked suddenly, a catch in her voice. She still wouldn't turn around. "I mean, I understand if you want to be with the Princess of Hyrule - she can give you so much more than I ever could - but you actually touched that, that... THING?! Great Deku Almighty, Link, what's going on in your head?"

"Wait, wait, slow down," he said, eyebrows knitting. "It's not a thing, it- I mean, SHE is Princess Ruto, of the Zora tribe, and she's a friend I met in my travels."

"Friend? Understatement of the year."

Unconsciously, he let out a quiet laugh. "Man, Saria, if you could see the things I've seen since I left... there's so much more to the world out there..."

"Yeah, well, I'm not sure I even want to see it if it'll turn me into you."

His eyebrows shot upward. "What do you mean? What did I do?"

"You're TWO-TIMING, that's what!" she shot at him, obviously amazed at his lack of understanding. "You're getting it on with two different girls - BOTH princesses, apparently! Did you lose your brain out there in that big, bad world?!"

"What do you mean?!" He felt a bit angry himself now. "I would NEVER do anything to hurt either of them! Okay, maybe Ruto, only because she can be so bossy sometimes, but I'd still never really-"

"Link, you- you're missing the point!" Sighing, she ran her hand over her hair, checking to make sure the band was still holding it in place. "Oh, nevermind... dense as ever."

The boy hero didn't even bother giving voice to his questions; nothing Saria was trying to tell him made sense. Zelda was really that hurt by him exploring Ruto's cave? It was a very personal, visceral thing he and the Zora youth had shared, of course, but Zelda couldn't think he would stop caring about her because of it - that was ridiculous, not after the kiss and their pledging to be Best Friends! Could it be that she was feeling the same way Ruto did? Did she want him all to herself?

"Oh, and by the way," Saria said dejectedly, "you have another mess to clean up back at the clearing you slept in. A mess with a horse in tow?"

"Malon..." he groaned, slapping his hand over his face. "I TOLD Ruto to leave me alone so I could help her get home, but NOOO, she had to keep needling me to try the same things!"

"You are despicable!" Saria threw at him, even as she led the way back to the clearing. "You and Zelda ride into the forest, fleeing for your lives from Gannondorf, and while she goes for help you start shoving your gourd in everything that moves!" She stopped short, turning to glare at him. "You are not the Link I knew. You're a complete stranger, and not even one I would want to get to know."

When she began moving off again, Link stayed still. Eventually, she turned around and shouted, "Come on, Captain Libido! Move it, we have a girl to put in the saddle - unless you want to saddle her yourself?"

"Saria, I... I'm sorry."

She shrugged. "For what? It's none of my business. You're not a Kokiri anymore, so you're free to do whatever you want. Enjoy it."

"No, I- come on, don't be like that," he said, swallowing the giant lump that had formed in the back of his throat. "Everybody keeps asking me to- to do things I've never even heard of before, and they won't stop until I give them what they want, a-and all I want to do is make sure Zelda is safe and go kill the one who destroyed her castle! And now you're telling me everything I did was wrong?! How do I- I can't-"

"Link, don't," she gusted. "You KNEW it was wrong. Don't try to justify your mistakes, I'm not going to buy it."

"No, I didn't! Malon kept telling me she was so lonely, and Zelda wants a Best Friend and Ruto wants a fiancee and- and everybody wants something from me! Damn it!"

Saria's eyebrows went up. "Wait... the fish queen really wants you to marry her? Seriously? You're not even the same spec-"

"I KNOW!" he bellowed, catching up to her position. "And I told her I wanted to go rescue Zelda, and she demanded I let her prove she was just as good as Zelda, even though I told her I didn't know what a 'husband' is supposed to do! It's like- it's like they're all out of their minds, and I'm supposed to fix everything, but I can't! Maybe everybody should just leave me alone!"

He stormed past Saria and into the clearing, trying not to feel betrayed by his oldest, dearest friend as he searched for Malon. Where had she gone - had she woken up? Epona was still there, pawing at the ground and staring around as if she'd been ready to leave a long time ago. Finally, he saw one of her arms sticking out of a bush, and he went over to find the rest of her lying beneath the branches.

"How'd you get over here?" he whispered, picking her up gingerly; she weighed more than he expected, but it wasn't so much he couldn't manage. "Come on."

"I put her there."

Link came horrifyingly close to dropping Malon onto the ground, and the moss wasn't so squishy that she'd have come out of that unscathed. "Saria, don't- you scared the CRAP outta me!"

"I dragged her out of the open air," she said flatly, arms folded. "While Zelda and Ruto tried to bodyslam each other over and over for almost an hour. Eventually, I got bored trying to wake you up and watching them kill each other, so I came back to cover up your, um... other friend."

"Can you help me, then?" he grunted, carrying her over near Epona. Though he was very sure he did NOT want his stalk to rise again, EVER, he made sure not to look at her udders too long lest this be the result. "I mean, get her back into her dress... and maybe we should clean the white fluid off of her first, I wouldn't want to wear that all day."

Saria was trying not to look at Malon, he noticed - maybe for the same reason he wasn't, or maybe because she was a symbol of everything Saria thought he was doing wrong. After he had leaned Malon against a tree very near her horse, she said, "I've got a cloth with me, but you should be the one to go down to the river and wet it."

"Why? Shouldn't I stay with-"

"I'll stay with her. Besides, maybe you'll glimpse the monster you created."

Frowning with confusion, he took the rag from her outstretched hand and marched out of the clearing, down toward the riverbank he had abandoned. What was she talking about? And what right did she have to judge him?! Yes, he had suspected he shouldn't be doing such euphoria-inducing activities with three different women, but they had all - ESPECIALLY Ruto - made it sound like it wouldn't matter if he tasted more than one peach, and he had gone along with them. Could they all have been lying to him? Did he dare ever believe anything anyone told him again?

But when he got to the riverbank, he couldn't believe his own eyes.

"He is NOT your fiancee, you delusional carp!"

"What about you? Burdening him with the weight of the world! How typically mammalian of you!"

Princess Zelda and Princess Ruto were knee-deep in the mud of the riverbank, grappling with each other desperately and shouting so loudly that Link felt sure there were no birds in the trees for miles. Having just taken a deep drink of water and washed himself up (especially his wilted stalk, which was encrusted with many things you'd rather not know about), he stood stock still, hand halfway to the water to rinse out the rag, watching the scene play out. Ruto's behavior was nothing new, but he was aghast at the way Zelda was digging her heels in.

"Who knows what kind of disgusting tricks you Zoras know?! You could have shot some kind of, of... hypnotizing ink into his face!"

Ruto laughed, a cruel, high cackle. "Unable to believe the single boy YOU asked to face Gannondorf ALONE might prefer a woman who only wants his adoration?"

"It is his DESTINY!" she screamed, tears of fury running down her cheeks as she tossed Ruto over her shoulder and into a tree. Link observed that her elegant robes were more or less ruined, stained green and brown all over, one of the sleeves ripped clean off. Her headdress was also missing, and never having seen her without it before, he stood in awe of her silky golden locks, braids circling the top like a crown and the rest floating slightly as she stomped through the mud toward her adversary - in a pair of Kokiri boots, he noted. While she waited for Ruto to stagger upright again, she continued, "I would rather face Gannondorf myself with a broken leg and no weapons than ask Link to put himself in harm's way, but I KNOW it is what he must do and I cannot change that!"

"Then YOU do not understand what is best for Link," Ruto snarled, jagged teeth bared, "and therefore... you DON'T DESERVE HIM!!!"

Link's hand automatically went to his hilt as he watched Ruto pounce on Zelda, sending both of them into the river, but there was obviously nothing he could do. When they emerged again, he settled for shouting, "STOP IT, you guys! What is this going to accomplish?!"

Though he hadn't been expecting his cry to end their fight, he was taken completely unaware when they slowed down only long enough to shout in unison, "YOU STAY OUT OF THIS!"

Unsure of what else to do and thoroughly terrified to interfere in such a fierce battle, Link wet the cloth and returned to the clearing, glancing back at their melee several times on his way. Was it really okay to leave them to it? They had asked him to, but at the same time he was afraid they might be so serious that they would kill each other.

Saria would know what to do. Even if she hated him now, she would be able to fix this; she'd always had a much more level head than his.

"Saria!" he yelped as he burst into the clearing, "what should I- oh?"

Saria's hand was stroking along Malon's bare, creamy thigh at the exact second he found them together, Malon's sleeping head lolling on her shoulder. Then, as she noticed him there, her hand lowered and she looked up at him, her face expressionless. "What should what?"

"Sorry," he coughed. She was tending to Malon still - and with that thought, he handed the rag over. "I was going to say, um... they're really going at it down there, and I told them to cut it out, but they said I should mind my own business. What do you think?"

But Saria was focusing on cleaning the dried white fluid off of Malon's face and neck. Link waited for a moment, watching as her hand moved down to the chest, and she moved slower and slower as she did this. Eventually, Malon made a small, plaintive noise in her sleep, and Saria smiled slightly. "Heh... I wonder if she's dreaming of you, Link."

"Saria..."

"You're going to have to tell all of them about each other," she told him seriously as she finished cleaning Malon off. "It's not fair to go behind everyone's back and play them off each other, like they're doing by the river right now."

"Please, Saria, don't rub salt in the wound," he begged, squatting beside her. "They really seem to think they can, I don't know... OWN me! And they're down there fighting over who should be the one to keep me like a pet, and I- what do I do? They're not pulling any punches and I'm afraid of what might happen if I don't do anything!"

"Link, what did you say this girl's name was again?"

He blinked. "Malon. Why?"

"Malon..." Smiling forlornly, she touched her finger to the girl's cheek. "You shouldn't have taken advantage of this one; she seems so young and innocent."

"Yeah, well, looks can be deceiving," he said, frowning at her. What was Saria doing at a time like this? "Come on, focus - Zelda and Ruto might end up at the bottom of the river if we don't do something!"

"Okay, okay," she sighed. "Navi! Nuva!"

He blinked as two fairies popped out of nowhere, swirling around her head. "Yeah, Saria?"

"Make yourselves useful and go make sure those two maligned monarchs don't off each other. Link's worried... and I guess I am too, a little."

"Sure thing!" one of them said, zipping off through the trees. The other one, however, paused to whisper into Link's ear, "Somebody's in troooooubllllllle," before joining her peer.

Shaking his head, he reached down and touched Malon's cheek; her sun-freckled nose twitched and she smiled, sighing something that sounded dangerously close to his own name. Nodding to himself, he turned to Saria and said, "So... I guess we should get her into her dress and-"

"Level with me, Link," Saria said softly, her hand falling to rest on Malon's hip as she looked over at him through narrowed eyes - was she gazing at the signet on his finger? "What has to happen to a man to jade him so much he'll take virginity from a lamb like this?"

"Virginity?" he asked her. "Whatever that is, it wasn't me - I didn't steal anything!"

"No, no," she half-laughed. Then, one hand toying with Malon's hair, she began staring off into nothing, chewing at her bottom lip - her thinking pose. Link knew better than to disturb it. Several minutes passed; Link sat down in the interim, still worrying over Zelda and Ruto but trusting that one of the fairies would come back to warn them if the fight took a more serious turn.

"Dumbass."

When Link only frowned at her, she snorted. "You were always kind of a happy-go-lucky sort that didn't catch on fast enough in matters of the heart. I should have remembered that from personal experience."

"What-"

"Link, I'm sorry," she said at last, shimmering green eyes full of remorse as she looked over at him. "I see you for the first time in what seems like forever, and so much has happened... and I leap right into judging you. Granted, this does look terrible, and I'm still positive you did a lot of things you never should have, but... I know you're not some gigolo." She smiled unsteadily at him. "I been a bad friend."

He grinned back. "I been a badder one." They had been saying that to each other since birth, any time one of them needed to apologize. This, more than anything else, finally allowed him to release the stomach that had been clenched ever since he had awoken to wonder why her boots were in front of his face. "Saria, it's so great to see you, I'm- damn, I just wish I was having a better day."

"Yeah," she said, looking down at Malon. "So what DID you do to her? I mean... where'd you put your gourd? Here?" Her finger indicated her mouth.

"Well, yeah... and between her udders." Now that he'd been warned it was unusual to go around doing such things to multiple women, he felt uneasy listing off the acts themselves. "What you saw me doing with Ruto - I didn't do that with Malon at all! It was Ruto's crackpot idea!"

"Okay, okay," Saria giggled. "You're not on trial anymore - or at least, not until your pair of princesses decide to come after you. Then all bets are off."

That thought alone almost made him throw up.

"But let's get this girl back in her dress," she grunted, trying to heft Malon off her shoulder. "Wh- where's- AH!"

Both of them tipped over as Malon curled herself around Saria's body, sighing contentedly and muttering something incoherent as she drooled slightly onto Saria's shirt. With some amusement, Link noted that her hand came to rest on Saria's chest, which his friend did not seem to think was okay. As she grunted to move out from under her, he finally retrieved the farmgirl's clothing from where it rested next to an old stump; he quickly tucked her frilly panties into one of her boots and brought them over.

"Oh, come on!" Saria hissed, trying to shove her hand away unsuccessfully. "She can't still be asleep!"

"Well," he said thoughtfully, "she told me she's always being worked like a dog on that ranch of hers; maybe when she released her peach nectar she went into a deep sleep, kinda like I did when Zelda milked my gourd for the first-"

"Link, LINK!" Saria averted her gaze quickly, eyes round as a bomb flower and cheeks pinkening slightly. "Too much information, okay?! SHEESH!"

As Malon began squirming again, her hand still clutching at Saria's mound, Link crawled over to look more closely at her slumbering features. "Should I... I dunno, poke her or slap her? I tried slapping her face before and nothing happened."

"Link, you're- you're kind of on my other leg, there-"

"Sorry," he said, moving aside. "Maybe we should all take a nap with Malon, here... I know I'm pretty bushed from the day's events."

"What, you want to curl up with my other boob?" she snorted. "No way; you're not using me to put another notch in your belt, loverboy."

"Notch in my- what? Don't be weird," he laughed, lying down next to her. "I mean it, I barely have anything left. If we can't wake Malon up, and we're both here to protect her, and the fairies are down there making sure nobody loses a limb... I might as well get some shuteye."

"Fine, whatever. We'll wait here for the world to end."

As an afterthought, he took Malon's white dress and draped it over her naked form; this seemed kinder than trying to pull it over her head in her condition. Then he snuggled into Saria's other arm.

"H-Hey!" she hissed. "This- this isn't- what did I TELL you?!"

"But we used to do this all the time," he yawned; the instant he had lain down, he could feel fatigue creeping into every pore. "C'mon, don't... make a..."

The last thing he heard before he was out for the third time that day was Saria muttering, "Silly boy."

------------------------

Adrift at sea, Link found himself clutching tightly to a rope, struggling to keep upright. The storm winds were blowing harshly, buffeting his tiny ship. They were lost! Finally, lightning struck the mast, and boards were flying everywhere...

He was waking up in a tiny hut, and a head was poking over his bedside, warm smile stretching from ear to pointed ear. Her golden locks were framing her features, drifting lazily as she moved. "Zelda?"

"No," she said sweetly. "I'm Marin. You're hurt badly."

"I... I am?" When he looked down, all he saw was the sheets. "Oh... then, where am I?"

"The isle of Koholint," she said sweetly, sitting on the edge of his bed and stroking over his chest affectionately. "Where are you from? That was quite a shipwreck."

"Hyrule," he grunted, trying to sit up - but she held him down easily. He must really have been weakened. "I- I have to get back there, Zelda is-"

"Shhh," she soothed, crawling over and blowing into his ear; he shivered. "You're in good hands here, and you need to recuperate. Don't worry your head."

"No, you don't understand! Gannondorf will destroy everything I hold dear unless-"

"Don't worry your head," she cooed, hand straying downward. "Marin will make everything feel right as rain."

"Whoa," he breathed as she stroked along the inside of his thigh. "Hang on a minute, wh-what do you- what are you DOING?!"

"Making you feel better," she giggled, licking her lips. "Come on, don't you want this?"

"No!" he gasped. "That's not- it only makes things worse! Now come on, I have to get going, I-"

"But your swordfish is alive, and it wants to play. See for yourself!"

In one fluid motion, she drew aside the covers and revealed not his own body with his gourd sticking up, but a swordfish poised to strike. It was dark blue with jagged teeth, and the pointed, threatening nose was aiming for his throat. Wait, how could it? He wasn't even underwater! Marin stepped back, still smiling that sweet smile as he braced himself for the fish's attack.

"Ohh..." the fish moaned.

That sound didn't match with what he was seeing. "Hmmm?"

"HnnnnhhhHHH!"

------------------------

Link's eyes popped open. What was going on? Had it killed him - was this the next life? Then he saw the leafy ceiling of the woods and understood: a dream. It had all been an odious nightmare. But something was still making a noise. Curious, he looked over and realized what was causing this, but he was still unsure how to feel about it.

Malon's mouth was pressed against one of Saria's udders through her clothes, and the area around it was quite moist by now. Additionally, her hand was still exactly where she'd left it, and one of her knees was planted firmly between Saria's legs - he felt sure it was mashing into her peach. He wondered why Saria was allowing this to continue, but a brief glance upward told him it was because she had also fallen asleep. Was she having a nightmare as he had been? That would explain her moans... but then again, so would Malon's unconscious advances. If the whole thing weren't so irregular and amusing, he would think it cute.

Something was different, though; Saria's shoulder was below his chin now. When they had fallen asleep, it had been behind his head. How had THAT happened? But it wasn't the only difference.

"Ohhh," he breathed as he noticed her hand was not visible from his vantage point... because it was tucked beneath his tunic. Moving slightly, he was forced to admit that she was fondling his stalk, whether she knew it or not. "Crap."

When he moved again, hoping to pull free, Saria made a small noise and only grasped harder, causing him to have to bite down on his lip for fear of crying aloud from how it felt. This couldn't be happening again, it was impossible! Still, he reminded himself, it wasn't really happening; they had been doing this while unaware of their own movements. No one was at fault - especially not him, as he wasn't touching anyone. Why didn't he feel any happier knowing that?

Almost a minute ticked by as Link tried his best to stay still. Nothing was going to make his stalk wilt so long as Saria continued to hold it, and the fact that Malon's suckling prompted another noise of pleasure from Saria now and then didn't help, either. Finally, he tried to jerk upward and away, but her arm only slid up a little, bending at the elbow. Much to his horror, however, Saria's head rolled to the side to face him, and they were so close their noses actually touched. Mouth twitching slightly, she mumbled five words that felt like a javelin being imbedded in his gut.

"Don't leave me again, Link..."

Of its own will, his stalk throbbed, and he gulped. Saria seemed not to notice, nor did the snoozing ranch-dweller atop her. Did she really miss him so much? Though he knew she was asleep, he couldn't help but look down at where his gourd was sticking out just barely over his tunic; could she feel this, even without being awake? It was a scary possibility, and one he would rather not entertain, but... as much as Saria decried his actions with the other girls, could her true desire have been to be the recipient?

Was his oldest and true-bluest friend jealous?

Saria's cheeks had always been so round and rosy, her eyebrows pointed in just the right way that made her seem alert and clever at all times. Her thin lips, pink and pouty and as likely to break out in a wry grin, were currently quivering as she suffered through what the other girl was doing to her. Link wanted to console her, or to try to wake both of them up, but every time he moved she only gripped harder and he was seconds from giving into the pleasure he felt throughout his stalk as it was. Add to this the fact that if they woke up to find Saria stroking him, there was the chance they would blame him for everything. A lose-lose situation if ever there were one.

Saria's face inched closer as she extended her neck. Her lips brushed his, and she made a brief, happy noise. Her lips stretched out for his, yearning for more.

But Link held fast. Though a tiny fraction of him wanted to give in to temptation, and it was growing with every passing moment, he could not; Saria had only just forgiven him for 'taking advantage' of the three women who had made demands of him that day. He would not give her reason to think he wanted to do it again. He could not lose his old friend that way.

It was pointless, though, as soon enough Saria's lips had scraped his lower one into her mouth, and she began sucking at it gently, breath hot and eyes closed. A man could only take so much; making sure not to move too jarringly, he allowed his own lips and tongue to play across hers, revelling in the simple softness she held and wondering how he could ever look her in the eye again.

"Hnnnhh," she breathed into him, movements quickening. Though her grip had been firm and fast all along, he now found the fingers were moving up and down his stalk, and he started, nipping her bottom lip with his teeth. "Nn!"

"Mmmah," came a tiny noise from Malon as her mouth unclamped from Saria for the briefest of moments. "No more saddlebags... toss 'em over me... hnnnmmmhh..." And then she was back to what she'd been doing before.

Link gulped noisily when Saria's lips drifted from his own, and he lay back a little more and hoped dearly that she wouldn't draw as close to him again. "This is so terrible... what do I do?"

"Search me."

Link almost cried aloud, but caught himself just in time. Trembling, he looked over at Saria; her eyes were open now, and he noticed that while her cheeks were flushed, the rest of her face was white as a sheet. "S-Sari- Saria, I- Saria, you're awake!"

"Shh," she told him in a pained squeak. "Don't wake her."

They both glanced at the poor little milkmaid before Link whispered, "How... how long have you been awake?"

"Since you bit me," she whispered. The injured lip was drawn into her own mouth now, and she closed her eyes again as she pulled at it, sighing. Eventually, she opened her eyes again and asked in a dazed voice, "How... long have you... were we both asleep?"

"I've been awake for a few minutes," he told her sadly. "But I... you've got a deathgrip going on down there, I didn't know what else to do. Can you, um...?"

"I could." The words were hoarse, and she strained to swallow with a dry throat. "Do you... want me to?"

"Definitely," he breathed, watching expectantly for her release. Much to his dismay, she began to stroke harder and faster, and his hips tried to wiggle in the opposite direction - which only sent a fresh ripple of electricity through him. "Hey, wait - that's not what I was asking f- oooh...."

"Sorry," she whispered, smiling shyly as she released his stalk. "I- I mean it, I really thought you wanted me to... um, what time is it?"

"No, of course not!" Link's face was full of shock and confusion as he rolled to face her. "You spent so much time telling me how wrong I was to go around touching and tasting all the girls, I- come on, you have to know I wouldn't ask- not after-"

"I'm sorry," she repeated, eye twitching as Malon redoubled her grip on her right udder. "Seriously, I d-didn't think, but... well, it's warm and sp- sproingy, and I w-wouldn't... mind..."

"Saria, you can't say things like that," he told her urgently. "They make my stalk harder, and it's already h-hard enough that I'm not sure I can make it go away without help!"

"So I can feel, Link."

He was going to ask her what she meant, but then she flexed her leg and he felt his pods shift; he was grinding into her accidentally. As he made to move away, however, she clutched him to her body. "Wh- wait, no, Saria, let me just move-"

"Don't move!" Her tongue ran over her lips, head tilting back slightly. "You feel really good on my leg; your bare gourd on my leg. Our skin touching..."

Link couldn't help it; water was gathering at the corners of his eyes, even as he reflexively pushed against her. "NO, Saria, no! Don't make me d-do it to you, don't start s-something we might regret later, I- I don't want you to go through that, not my blood sister, my-"

"Shh," she said, already crying herself now. "I... I know, Link. I'm so sorry I ever tried to make you feel guilty over things you simply didn't understand yet. And now I find myself in the same place they were, and you- you look and feel so wonderful that I think I might have to have you, too."

"What?!"

"I want you, Link!" she whispered urgently. "I've always thought you were the only one for me, but I- but we were such good friends that I didn't want to risk that! The thought of you running off with some princess, locked away in a tower where I can never come find you b-because I can't leave these woods... it makes my heart ache in a way nothing else does!" Only now did she look away, staring instead down at Malon's fluffy brown head. "But I promised myself I'd never tell you... because I always knew the day would come that you'd have to leave."

"You did?" His gourd was still pushing against her thigh, but neither of them made any move to change this. "How? I never knew I would leave until the Deku Tree told me I must."

A half-hearted chuckle. "You had no fairy. Though I didn't really know what it meant, I knew it meant you were different - not in the inferior, mean-spirited way the other Kokiri always thought, but... you had to be special. For the Deku Tree to only designate your fairy in an emergency... that day, I became absolutely certain you would be leaving."

"So you were waiting for me at the bridge... you had known all along, and you were ready for it. That's how you s-seemed to know just what to say."

"Knew what to say? The hell I did!" She laughed, her hand reaching under his shoulder and to the back of his neck. "I tried to say what seemed right, but I had no idea what I was babbling about. I don't even remember what I told you, but... but I made sure I gave you the ocarina. I wanted you to have something to keep you from forgetting all about me while you explored things much greater than some lame childhood buddy from the forest."

"Saria!"

"Don't say it." She smiled weakly. "I couldn't take it if you started telling me I'm more important than that, 'cause the truth of the matter is I'm not. Zelda's an heiress and you're the Hero Of Time, she tells me? Sounds like you don't have room in your life for me anymore, and that's as it should be. Legends don't end up with the girl next door."

He started to press against her more, straining to make room for her in his life, but they both moaned when he did this so he refrained. "Stop talking that way! I- I'm never going to forget you! You mean more to me than anyone else in the world!"

For a moment, her lip quivered and she started to smile, but then shook it off. "No. No, you're wrong - and I can accept that because I know it's the truth, not some mean prank or cruel revenge. I know you belong with someone more important than me, b-but... hey, I am glad to know our friendship's not just a faded memory."

"Hnnhhh..."

They both glanced down to see Malon shifting slightly, her backside wriggling from side to side. When she settled, Link noticed a gleam on Saria's leg. "Hey, do you see-"

"Oh my Deku," she hissed, frowning deeply. "That's... it can't be honey from her comb, not while she's asleep on my leg!"

"Honey? Comb? Ohhh," he breathed as he came to understand. "But don't you mean her peach?"

"What? HmmmMMmmhh!" Saria squirmed, fingers stabbing into the base of his skull. "And her knee is still there, I... oh, this can't go on or I'll start feeling a little TOO good - she's already driving me up the wall by playing with my coconuts!"

"Coconuts?!"

"AhhhHH," she panted, looking up at Link desperately. "Link, I- NNNHH! -I want you to swear you'll never tell anyone I got this turned on from a sleeping g-girl, okay? Damn!" Her eyes opened a little wider. "She's a GIRL, too - I don't know how this could be happening, I- why does she keep DOING that?!"

"Maybe we should try to wake her up, now," Link said uncomfortably. Saria's hand had slipped down to his back, and he wasn't sure she was aware of it because it was forcing him to rub his gourd against her thigh a little more, which only made it stronger. "Hah, hah... yeah, I think that's a good-"

"She is really beautiful, though," Saria admitted, looking down at Malon's accomidating, youthful features. "And none of the girls in Kokiri Villiage have coconuts the size of hers, that's for sure. Such silky tangerine skin..."

"Ahhh, coconuts!" Link breathed, making the connection. "Doesn't anybody call these private body parts by the same terms?"

"Link, m-maybe instead of waking her... no, no, please get her off me!"

"What?"

Saria began to sidle backward along the ground. "Now I'M the one taking advantage - she's asleep! I can't do anything indecent with a sleeping person!"

"MmmHHNNNH!!!" Malon groaned sharply, eyebrows twitching together as she reached out violently for what was slipping away, still blissfully adrift in dreamland. Unfortunately for everyone involved, her hand caught rather solidly on Saria's green shorts, and by the time Saria and Link saw this it was too late.

"Whoa, no, no, NO!" Hands fought vainly to catch the waistband, but Malon was determined; in a few seconds, the girl was snuggled up with the article of clothing, and Saria was blushing scarlet as she slapped both hands between her own legs. "SHIT!"

For a brief, unsettling moment, Link saw a tuft of dark green hair and a trail of thick fluid on the ground leading from where she had previously lain. Then he was most determinedly staring elsewhere.

"No, Link, y-you didn't see anything, right?" Saria's voice was urgent, and he heard a catch in it. "Right?!"

"I didn't see your peach!" he said truthfully. "Honest, y-your hands were fast enough, I- it's okay!"

"Nnnno," she panted, gulping noisily. Link touched his gourd tentatively; definitely solid, no getting it to disappear now. "I... there's been way too much, with Malon, and y- y- this is so bad, what do I do?!"

"I'm sorry!" Running a hand over his head, he made his way over to the other girl, rolling her onto her back; she didn't stir, though now she was sucking at the wettest part of Saria's shorts. Was that a good idea? "Great Deku, all of this is my fault, with Malon, and- and if not for that, you wouldn't have had to feel my gourd smacking into you, and I wouldn't have kissed you, and we-"

"NnnnhhAAAHHhh..."

What? Link chanced a look over at Saria when he heard her moan, and her back straightened. "No, d- what are you doing?! Don't look at me!"

"Sorry!" he said again, looking away. But she moaned again; in fact, she was moaning over and over. "Saria-"

"Shah... shah... shut up, Link, I... g... give me a..."

"Saria!" Refusing to look away any more, he spun to face her-

Her back was arched so high that her hips were in the air, pointed in his general direction. One of her hands was underneath her for support, and the other was toying with the opening of her peach, drawing more and more nectar out where it drizzled onto the forest floor in a rapidly-growing pool. Each time she stroked her hips rose slightly, and she let out a fresh cry.

"SARIA, STOP IT!"

"I c-can-can't!" There were tears in her voice again, even though he couldn't really see her face from this angle - everything else, yes, but... "It f-feels so- I need this, I c-can't make it stop!"

Unbidden, he began stroking at his gourd; he hadn't even willed his hand there. "No, b-but you have to, I c-can't be watching you do-"

"Then DON'T watch!" she blubbered. "I don't want you to see me do this, it's so wrong, but I h-HAAAAaave to finish, I can't make myself stop it! P-please, Link, don't sit there and watch my sh-shame!"

"Uuuaaah!" Link grunted, pumping himself faster - this couldn't be right, either. Could you sate the stalk and-or peaches with your own hands? That thought was almost as crass as asking someone else to help! "I'd l-like to help, but I can't stop watching, either, or- or touching- this wasn't supposed to happen!"

"You're watching me!" So much enjoyment dripped off her tone that it almost overpowered her sadness. "You're watching m-me, and you're doing it, too! That just - it makes my honeycomb hotter, it- MMMhhh, but you can't do that, you can't see me, I'm so ugly down there, it's disgusting what I OOOOH- what I ha- have!"

"Saria," he moaned to himself, staring straight into the beautiful folds of her peach; the lips weren't as long or pronounced as Malon's had been, but the little pit at the top was almost twice as large, sticking out further and straighter. All of this made him want a taste of her, but it was only because he was devoting all his willpower to resisting that desire that he kept staring into it, which increased the desire he was resisting. It was a catastrophe in the waiting.

"Whhnhgxx... whass goin on?"

This was perhaps the only sound that could make both Saria and Link freeze in their actions: the voice of a third party. As slowly as he could manage, Link turned his head until he found Malon sitting up, rubbing at the corners of her eyes.

"Fairy boy? Izzat... oh, whatcha got there?" Sniffing stupidly, she squinted over at him for a moment, then drew back in complete shock. "OH MY GAWWWD!!!"

"Malon!" he gasped, whipping his tunic over his gourd and pressing his legs together as much as he could. "Good, uh, morning? How did you sleep?"

"What the hell are you DOING?!" she said in hushed tones, eyes still focused squarely on his gourd. "N... wait, the... am I remembering right? Did you really, y'know... milk my udders before? Was that some kind of fever dream?"

"Hnnggk!" Saria squeaked involuntarily, and though Link was certain she'd been trying not to draw attention to herself, Malon's eyes instantly found her and gasped again.

"WHOA!" she blurted, falling back on her arms and edging away from this newfound apparition. "Who are YOU, now?! What's going on, here, I- oh man..."

As Saria forced herself painfully to a sitting position, every movement rubbing at her peach and making her features twist in mingling pleasure and mortification, they both watched as Malon swabbed at her own inner fruit, pulling back a heaping helping of honey. Then she glanced at the pair of shorts she had been holding, still quite nearby. "Were you guys... playing with me? While I slept?"

"No, no!" Link said immediately. "You were dreaming, it was- you didn't know what you were doing, so there's nothing wrong with it, right? You were just-"

"I'm still naked," she said, cheeks flushing. Link's eyes were drawn to how rigid and erect the peaks of her mounds had grown, but as his gourd threatened to thrust back out of where he'd tucked it when this happened, he dragged his eyes up to her face. "And you guys were... milking... yourselves?"

"Ma'am," Saria began formally, trying to put her bravest face forward, "I apologize, it was... well, all of this turned out so badly, and it started so innocently..."

"Who are you?" Malon asked, her eyes narrowed. "I mean, I don't think we've ever met..."

"We were all asleep at first," Link began, hitching a smile into place even though he felt like sitting on a Bombchu. "And you started sucking on Saria's, um, udders, which made her grab-"

"Me?" she said meekly, staring up at him. Then she looked over and saw the wet spot on Saria's shirt, and her head began moving from side to side. "Nah, that's- you're wrong, 'cause I'm not some kinda... y'know, deviant sow! I l-love men, it's- it's YOU I love, Link! I love YOU!"

"She loves you?" It was Saria's turn to sound small and hurt. "You told me she was just lonely."

"What do you MEAN?!" Link flung at her, distressed by this news. "Does this mean you want me to be your betrothed, too?! DEKU, I d-don't- there's not enough Link for everybody, I can't-"

"It's okay, fairy boy," Malon sighed, even as she squirmed in her uncomfortable, exposed state. "I knew you wouldn't end up with me, b-but- but it's not natural for me to go after another woman! Do you think maybe you... maybe it was a dream? You just dreamed I was nursing at you?"

"Does this look like a DREAM to you?!" Saria exclaimed, indicating the saliva stain. "Link saw you, I- I FELT you, it was so- I didn't know what to think! Nobody - man OR woman - has ever done that to me before!"

"But you've gotta be mistaken," Malon began desperately. "I don't think I'd ever-"

"HUP!"

Link had been attempting to stand with his uncooperative stalk between his legs, so that he could fetch Malon's dress and at least cover one of them properly, but he tipped backward and landed on his backside hard; he was sure there'd be a bruise. "Owww.... ow! Damn, guess that backfired!"

"Ooooohhhhh...."

It was Malon who had said this; she could plainly see everything now, as his tunic had flown open at the bottom. He watched as her eyes grew wide and she began panting yet more, rounded lips parted slightly. With a grimace, he said, "Can you... y'know, not stare at it? I'm having some trouble, here, and- HEY, NO!"

Her cheek was already rubbing against it, and he nearly bit through his lip. "It's my favorite toy, now," she sighed happily. "Oh, I was sure it had all been a really nice dream, but Link... you and I had a roll in the hay! We're no strangers anymore, that's for sure!"

"Malon, no," he half-moaned, twisting away from her actions. "Your face, it feels so- no, not again, you won't get me to hurt you again!"

"But I want you to!" She frowned down at her peaks, then looked up at him with so many mingling emotions he couldn't identify any of them individually. He had scooted away from them both, but now she was closing in on him again, crawling like a bengal tiger stalking its prey. "My nipples are really sore, you did a number on 'em before... you can do it again if you want."

"NO, I DON'T want!" he shouted. "You're- you're crazy, I- damn it, what does it take for a hero to save Hyrule these days?!"

"Every great man has a woman behind him," she told him softly, hand playing lightly over his pods; he shivered when she neared his knothole, mind flashing back to the terrifying experience of Ruto's tongue. "I could be the woman behind the man - I'd be that for you, in a heartb- b- OOOAAAUUUHHH?!?!"

Both of them looked over Malon's shoulder to see what had prompted this sudden noise from her throat, and Link had to do a double-take to make sure his eyes hadn't turned traitor - Saria's face was buried in Malon's backside, her own bare posterior waggling in pleasure as her hands fell to clutching each of Malon's cheeks. After an unsteady moment, Malon rolled over onto her back, arm draping over Link's leg.

"And some women have another woman behind them."

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" the farmgirl half-shouted. "Get- get away from me, y-you- you sick, twisted- that's just completely, totally wrong!"

"You're so s-sweet," Saria sobbed, hugging her arms to her body. She took a moment to run her tongue over her lips before continuing, "Everything about you, I- why do I keep thinking that? Damn it, no, I- no, I'm so confused, b-but- I do love Link, and I want to b-be with him, but... but everytime I look at you..."

Even though he was very confused and alarmed by this turn of events, he could feel his gourd throbbing harder and harder in the open air, and all at once, both girls turned to look at it. Had it called to them? They crawled forward at the same moment and grabbed for it, Malon's hand reaching first and Saria's closing over hers.

"Mmmhh," said Link.

"Huh?!" said Malon.

"Oooh," said Saria.

Intense fear showed in Malon's eyes as she looked over at her rival - or was rival the right word? The only thing in Saria's eyes was a complete loss as to what she was doing. Link watched Saria's index finger slide first over the spout of his gourd, then over Malon's somewhat-roughened fingers, and every moment seemed to bring his lifelong friend more shameful joy than before.

"L... let go," Malon said, voice barely audible.

"But I don't... I really, really don't want to."

"Please." Malon's other arm raised to cover her own chest, but she still clutched him. "P-please, y- you're scaring me."

"Link." The strain was noticable - in both voice and features. Link knew, intimately, that this was what Saria looked like when she was at her absolute wit's end. "I'm... I take everything back. EVERYTHING. You're not a terrible person... not nearly as terrible as I am. You've busted your nuts on three people now, but I- I'm the one that wants t-t-two at the same time."

Completely at a loss, Link watched her other hand help Saria trap Malon's and his gourd between them. Thick tears rolled down Saria's cheeks, and Malon breathed, "Y-you can't, y- I'm not a boy, you have to g-go find- I'm not a-" But he continued to look on as Saria's face, still looking at his gourd, drifted further and further over until it was right next to Malon's, cheeks rubbing, legs touching. From both their touch and what he was seeing, he could already feel the beginnings of his climax building inside. "G-get off me! I'm n-not interested in this kind of- of-"

"Me either," Saria breathed; as he watched, she struggled to remain upright as she kicked off both boots. "I mean it, I'm not - I don't understand it, and I don't want it." Panting like a rabid thing of the night, his lifelong, most trusted friend, the dependable rock he'd leaned on time and time again, purred brokenly into Malon's ear, "But I NEED it - n-need YOU."

Malon kept trying to shrink from these bizarre advances, but because she wouldn't let go of Link's stalk there was only so far she could run, and Saria had no trouble sliding her toes along the sole of Malon's foot and up her calf. Shivering, Malon let out the kind of sound a puppy does when you smack it on the nose, but Saria was in no state of mind to understand anymore.

"Stop," Link gasped, barely able to function as they jerked him to and fro. "Saria, you're really scaring her, sh-she- HMMMhhh, she's not- how can you be doing this?!"

"I don't KNOW!" she screamed at him, even as her mouth glided over Malon's shoulder. "Every moment I do it, I hate myself more, and yet all my soul hungers for is another sense, another- I want so many bad, bad, bad things!"

"So do I," Malon said softly. "B-but none of them are f-for- for you to give! You have to stop, you- get off, please, I don't wanna have to hit you!"

"Maybe you should," Saria cooed as he finally released her hands and crawled onto Malon's back, passing her hands up the ribcage and onto her heavy, free-swinging udders. "M-maybe if I push you too far you'll really, really hurt me, and then I'll- I want to be normal again, not feeling the right things from the wrong people!"

"MmmMMmmhh," Malon moaned as Saria's nimble fingers played over her stomach and the bottom of her udders. "No, no, no! Get OFF! Get offa me, I'm not your pony!"

"Mmmm, giddyap."

Malon's face contorted strangely. "Awwh, I can feel your fur on my rear, I- NNhh, cut that out!"

"Saria, that's enough!" Link was barely able to articulate; he meant every word, but Malon simply refused to release him and her attempts to buck Saria off caused him to feel very distracting things. "Y... you can't force Malon to do something she doesn't want!"

"But I_ want." Link tried not to notice Saria's slight, beautiful rear moving from side to side as Malon tried to move her own generous version and rid herself of her assailant. "I hate myself, but I do, I n-need Malon - MALON, PLEASE!"

SLAP.

"NO!" she screamed, at last throwing Saria to the ground and stumbling away from both of them. "You... who do you think you are?! I'm- why do you want me?! I'm a girl, and- and all I am is a poor hick with no money and no future! Please, c'mon, I-"

"Your eyes keep drawing me in," Saria moaned in such a self-loathing manner that Link almost abandoned the conversation and hugged her to him right then and there - no one should have to feel that low. Her fingertips brushed over the angry red handprint on the side of her face. "Your deep eyes, and your flushed apple cheeks - they're so much like Link's, and... and even though I've never looked at a woman's body twice before, yours for some reason, it- every contour, those freckles, your knees and your belly button and- and your hands, they're so-"

"No, no, no," Malon whispered, sinking to her knees. "It's... happening again, I, I... I'm doing it to someone again!"

"STOP RIGHT THERE," Link said darkly, feeling the sensation begin to leave his stalk. Though he was unbelievably desiring of both of their shapely forms, the ramifications of what Malon was saying broke through his fog of arousal. "Malon, you are your own person, you don't have to do anything you don't want to! You're not corrupting anybody!"

"Hmmhh?" Saria said distractedly as she stroked her own peach. "Whzz.... I n-need-"

Malon let out a tiny sob. "But I am. S-Saria's been caught in it, now, I- I'm even doing it to GIRLS now! Am I that trampy, that whorish?!"

All at once, both Link and Saria were putting their hands on Malon's back; Link's eyes went to Saria, but she was crying so hard he dropped them immediately. He couldn't watch her be THAT distressed, he never could properly. "What are you talking ab- about?" Apparently her own desires were still interfering with her speech. "I didn't say any- anything-"

"You can have me, I guess." Malon didn't look at either of them; he'd been expecting her to cry, but she was too frightened. "I'm r-ready for- for- just be gentle, alright? I've never played like this with another g-girl before."

A few seconds ticked by, and Link and Saria's eyes met briefly. He could read it all there: Saria's lingering desire for him, the longing for Malon she couldn't explain, and the struggle between temptation and doing what was right. Being that she actually had to struggle, he reached back and pinched her hard on her backside, which caused her to yelp and sit up straight, frowning down into her own lap. This was intended to chide her - and it worked - but touching her skin again had the nasty side effect of bringing his stalk back up to full strength.

"C-come here, honey," Saria choked out, pulling Malon's face right into her chest and stroking her hair hesitantly; Link could see her trying not to enjoy it, and she was putting up a hell of a fight. "Nobody's going to make you do anything, we'll keep you safe. It's okay."

"Link?" Malon gasped.

"Yes," he whispered, moving in from behind to stroke over her back and across her shoulder and arm. "I t-think we're doing okay, now... I mean, if only I can get rid of-"

"HHHMMMMhhhh..."

"Saria, stop it!" he snapped. "What were you saying earlier about taking advantage?"

But her perky eyebrows raised slightly, even she continued to sway slightly from the effort of ignoring how awakened her peach was. "Wasn't me."

But when Malon moaned again, he realized why; his gourd had brushed her backside and smeared a large amount of premature white fluid on its surface, and she had writhed against it as she moaned, drawing his attention. "Oops," he whispered. "Hang on, I can jump over to-"

"NNNnNAAAHHH!" she crowed, wrapping her legs around his backside and effectively shoving Saria over, landing both of them atop her. "LINK! Oh, I- I'm sorry, but it felt so- so-"

"Malon..."

Saria had said it, and she meant it the way it sounded; alive with pleasure. Link stared over Malon's shoulder at her reproachfully, but Saria had enough guilt etched all over her face to last her a year. "We can fix this," Link grunted, even though most of his muscles yearned for him to thrust straight into the nearest port either of the women could offer. "I'll get up first, then- Malon, you have to let me go!"

"I won't!" Her words laced with every good feeling he ws trying to stave off, she shrieked down into Saria's midsection, "Link, I... you want me to go away, don't you? So you can be with Zelda, or- or this greenish girl! I can't let you, I can't, not after you licked me clean!"

"HmmmnnnNNNnhh," Saria let out, arms reaching down to stroke Malon's shoulders. "Licked you... clean, did he? Can I be next?"

"You want me to WHAT?!" Link shouted.

"Well..." She swallowed hard, looking away. "Either one of you."

"MmmmMMmmh, LINK!" Malon cried, trying to crane her neck around and look back at him but unable to bend that much. "Y-your- your- it's- OW, N-NOT THERE!!!"

Almost without his consent, the gourd was trying its best to force its way through her knothole. "Oh my Deku, I- DAMN! Ooh, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, here-"

"NO, DON'T GO!" And in a flash, her legs convulsed and he felt his gourd, already slick and wet, slide through its entrance. "OOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAHHHOWOWOW!!!"

Saria couldn't help herself; her arms wrapped tightly around Malon's head as her sounds echoed the farmgirl's. Link, aghast at all of this even through his intense, gripping joy, pushed his hands down to the ground to hold himself up better, but he met Saria's chest with one of the hands. "Oh! OH, I- no-"

"Link?!" she half-sobbed, eyes moving up to his. "Then... then I'm n-not ugly to you, I- you can stand to touch me?!"

"It HURTS!" Malon screamed, crying freely, head jabbing right down into Saria's chest again as she struggled to stay upright. "It hurts so much, that's- that's the wrong place, I know it, it burns, you can't put it there, PLEASE TAKE IT OUT!"

Saria frowned deeply, swallowing hard as she whispered into Malon's hair, "My baby..."

"Please don't move!" Link asked desperately, gathering his strength. "I have to try to pull back out, so just give me-"

"NO!" Malon shouted, shaking her head frantically even as he could feel her body about to buckle and collapse; her legs squeezed him toward her again but Link was ready this time, the hands on the ground and Saria's chest keeping himself from moving even deeper inside. "If... if you take it out, you'll try to run away again, won't you?! I can't let you - I'm not going to!"

"But I don't want to make your cove burn like Ruto's did!" Biting his lip, he made a split-second decision. "I won't go anywhere if you let me take it out!"

"You two are- are making me-" Saria's outcry erased whatever she was going to say next.

"MMmhh, I burn - you're so big, and it's n-not big enough, I can't squeeze you in there, it's not okay!!"

"On the count of three - one, two - THREE!"

"UUUWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"

He was fairly certain all three of them had screamed. Looking down, he saw Malon had pitched forward, her nose now level with Saria's mouth as she lay sprawled atop her.

"No... no, I... no..." Malon sounded half-dead.

"Are... are you two okay?" Link asked, standing over them and swaying slightly. Saria was the first to answer, eyes fully focused on him and willing him to undersand.

"I just came."

He blinked. Came to what? But when he looked down and saw her peach quietly dripping, he thought he knew. "Oh... OH! Wait, from that? From us being on top of you, and me being in Malon's-"

"Mmmmhhmmm," she sighed obscenely, panting so much he'd have thought she was being chased by predators. "Really hard, too - all over. And I'm still hot, Link... I st- I still want more."

"No..." Malon sobbed onto Saria openly, and he saw her plump, tender backside bending down and away from him. "P-please, no, I- it was you, Link, so I still- no, never again, never in there again, it's too tight and too painful!"

"No way!" he shouted, bending over them again and taking great care to make sure his gourd touched nothing. "I'd never do it again if you were hurt by it, that's stupid!"

"Link," Saria warned him, eyes squeezing shut. "I'm... I'm going to start doing things to this girl... I... I want you to help me get her off and away from me before I do, it's... I'm going out of my mind!"

"S... Saria?" Malon asked hesitantly - which was the wrong thing to happen, because hearing Malon whisper her own name made Saria surge forward, shove both hands behind her ears and kiss her full on the lips, unable to hold any part of herself back any longer. "Hnnnmmmmmfff!"

"Mmmm," Saria's voice was so offensively excited that Link almost turned away - except it excited him, too. Their lips were sliding all over each other, Saria devouring as much as she could and Malon mostly hoping she wouldn't have to do it much longer, though she was putting too much into it for that to be the whole truth. Finally, she drew back and whispered, "Don't say my name again, I can't be held responsible for what I'll do! That's more than I could ever have hoped for from a gorgeous creature like you."

"Sar- you mean-" Malon caught herself, shrinking down as she pleaded, "Please, you can't mean stuff like that, I- you make me feel funny..."

"Link, Malon," Saria sobbed, throwing her head back, "I'm... I'm going to do it again... another... can someone... please, just don't let me..."

All those half-formed thoughts meant nothing to Link, but he was finally seized by an idea... it might have been driven by his gourd's need to be satisfied - and soon - but he was grateful for any course of action at the moment. "Malon... why don't we switch places? You come over here, and... and I'll put myself over Saria."

"NO!" they both shouted.

"I can't let you be with her, not while I'm here!" Malon elaborated. "Even if I g-get to w-w-watch, which sounds like- no, no, I won't!"

"And I won't let you jump me out of pity." He noted the hollow tone behind Saria's heady primal lust. "You sh-should take Malon and run. Leave me."

"Never again," he shot at her, and she smiled at him weakly.

"Mmmhhh, stop itaAAAHH!"

Link glanced over to see Saria's hand had slithered between the two stomachs; the fingers were clutching at Saria's peach, but the back of her knuckles were bumping Malon's now and then.

"I didn't mean to," Saria told her earnestly, "but I needed to play with it a little! Malon, please forgive me, I hate myself so much but I'm so wet and- OOOAAUUHH!"

"NNNAAAAHHH!"

Link's face returned from the depths of their peaches drenched; he'd not been sure he could actually eat two at once, but it wasn't as impossible as he thought. He'd even had to lick Saria's fingers to do this, and for some reason this was also exciting for him; anything to do with touching Saria in such a way drove him crazy because it felt ten times more depraved than anything else he'd done. Incidentally, he noticed that while Malon still tasted milky and sweet, Saria had a stronger, earthier spoor; too much shiitake in her diet? The girls' legs windmilled around his head and intertwined with each other, one of the calves stroking along his back; he couldn't even be sure which one.

"Link, you're so... so bold," Saria commented, very humbled by the suddenness of his advance (nearly as much as Link was himself). "You didn't think it was... too disgusting to eat? Do you w-want more?"

"No, me!" Malon said sharply. "You're supposed to be with me, now - taste ME!"

Saria tried to disguise the wicked glee in her tone. "I'll taste you."

"Forget that!" she squeaked as Link made to scoot away from them, head spinning; his gourd was at the bursting point, too much had gone on to stimulate him. He remained on his knees, wavering and trying to settle himself. "I want Link to drink me, to m-milk me and play with m- my- I don't want your mouth all over my vAAAAAII?!"

In one swift, masterful swoop, Saria slid herself along the ground and stopped at just the right position; Link was almost sitting on top of her stomach, and her face was mashing into Malon's peach. The action had also slid her thick shirt up and under her armpits, exposing her creamy, palmbable mounds to the open air. He noticed she had a birthmark near her navel - why didn't he know about it? Unrelenting, Saria's hands immediately shot up and grasped Malon around the hips and forced her down and into her mouth, lapping noisily and hungrily. "MMmhh..."

"YAIIIIIAAAAAH!!!" Malon screamed, whimpering and carrying on bleakly. "You c-can't! I don't want your mouth on that, it's not- you're a- AAuuuhhhh...!"

"Link," Saria asked thickly, "please? This is so good, I- but you can try mine again, I- I want it!" Even as she continued to swallow everything pouring out of Malon's peach, she managed to look at him with lustful eyes and say, "I want to feel your tongue on me again - IN me!"

Obediently, Link wrapped his lips around the peach pit, and he found it was actually sizable enough to suck on; meanwhile, Saria almost flipped over her reaction was so strong, but she never delayed in her devouring of Malon's nectar. Both women were screaming aloud, even if one was so muffled you could scarcely tell she was making sounds at all.

"Yaiih!" Malon was half-sobbing as her spine curved over and over. "Yaiih, yaiih, yaiih! Stop, stop, stop, stop, I d-don't, I don't want to like it! I hate you, I hate you, I don't want this to f- feel- feel AMAZING!"

Link could feel Saria's pit throb within his mouth as he let his tongue roam down and all over the rest of her folds. It took him a moment to remember he was feasting on Saria now - wasn't this exactly what he hadn't wanted? But Saria had completely changed her position on the whole thing, and he was so drawn in by her spoor and texture and her desire for his attentions that he couldn't step back - they had gathered too much momentum. Saria's green fur was not at all a tiny budding patch like that of Malon's - hers wasn't thick, either, but it was a lot more widespread, and he passed his hands over it, smiling straight into her peach folds as he continued sucking at the slick little pit.

"MMMMHHH!" Saria took her mouth away for a moment to pant, "YES, Link, I- you're playing with my hair, it's so good, and I love what you're doing to my queen bee! If only we could- could do this f-forev- HMMNNHHH!"

"UAHUUUuhhhaah!" Malon cried when Saria went back to her new favorite activity; Link could see her hands rising to her chest, pulling and squeezing. "M-Malon's been- b-been a bad g-girl, she's- she's so worthless, and th-this is wha- wha- whaHAAAAH!"

"Malon," Saria sighed as she watched the girl work at herself. "Your coconuts are s-so- and the way you handle them!"

Link felt it when Saria's legs raised up to lay on his back this time, and he continued to play with her peach, lapping its sweet-yet-aromatic nectar and passing his hands all over, up her thighs and inside it and around the base of her legs. Then, smiling to himself, he allowed his tongue to roam further downward.

"HOOOAHH, NO!" Saria yelped, shuddering so violently she nearly pitched Malon onto the ground. "Link, what are you doing?! That's my- that's sick, I- you can't do that, you'll be ill or some- something!"

"Mmmhh, so much stronger," he said in a low voice. "Not as fishy."

"FISHY?!" she gasped. "You did that t-to- HAEEEAAAAH, HEY, don't do that anym-more!"

"Nnnahh," Malon moaned a she ground herself into Saria's chin. "Yyiiaah, I- I want t-to- I want- I want to feel Link! I want to feel his long, hard- I want it inside me!"

"Wha?!" Link gasped, head snapping up to look at her. "But y-you just TOLD me you didn't want me in there!"

"No, no, not THERE!" she said quickly, horrified. Her words faltered as Saria began lapping at her again, but she managed to tell him, "Th- the oth- you called it a p-p-peaCHAAAAIII!"

"In your... peach?" That seemed like a very unwise course of action. The folds of a peach had always appeared to be a soft, pink blossom, and you certainly can't put anything inside a flower - how was his gourd and its stalk supposed to fit inside? "Malon-"

"NO!!!" Saria shouted suddenly as she forced herself to a sitting position, Malon sliding down her torso to land atop her stomach. The nectar dribbling down her chin somehow made her look even more distressed. "No, me, Link, I- I couldn't stand it if y-you passed me over for her, for anybody, I- I want you to have it!"

"Have it?!" The way Malon was squirming atop Saria, Saria's distracted, automatic ministrations to her giant udders with the side of her face, were threatening to send Link into the stratosphere, but as long as he still had at least one foot on the ground he would make sure he didn't do anything stupid. "Have what?!"

"My VIRGINITY!" she screamed at him, tears streaming from her eyes and lip quivering. "P-please, I- I've always known if anybody ever took that from me it would have to be you, you and NO ONE ELSE! I don't care whose ring you're wearing, y- you have to d-do it, you have to be with me for my first time, please, I'm BEGGING you!"

A cold pang began to spread from his chest cavity, momentarily bringing him closer to earth - he still wasn't sure what she was talking about, but it was so important to her that she be with Link when "it" happened that he almost told her he would without finding out more. Her eyes began to grow wider, more dismayed that he was witholding himself, so he hurriedly asked, "What is it you want me to do?"

"Put it in my peach," she whispered, wiggling her hips to indicate what she meant, spreading her legs further apart; unfortunately, this also spread Malon's apart, and the milkmaid gasped embarrassedly, trying to draw them together and hide her open peach and visible knothole. "Put your gourd in, and don't stop until you're finished - split me open!"

"But I c-couldn't." Somehow, this sounded like even more of an intimate connection than the one he'd formed with Ruto inside her cove. "Saria, y-you... you should find someone as pure as you are, not a guy who walks around licking anything that moves."

"Pure?" she half-laughed, her own hands pulling at Malon's curvacious backside again. "Look at what I'm doing right now! I'm no saint, Link, I... I just know I want my best friend to do this."

"Best Friend?!" he blurted - he couldn't help it, it was involuntary. "No, but- no, Zelda's my Best Friend, she already asked me!"

Saria's smile was the saddest he'd ever seen, despite the way her hips were rising to rub her own peach pit against Malon's. It took her a moment to get over Link's revelation, but eventually she said in a low voice, "Nnnyeah? I'm... too late, then. But you're st- you're still MY Best Friend, even if I'll never be yours. I'll live with that, I guess."

"S-Saria," Malon choked out suddenly, a touch of sympathy interlaced with the word - and again, Saria kissed her violently, winding her fingers deep into the fluffy brown locks. "MmmmHHmmmmAH!"

"I told you not to say it again," Saria whispered. "My little one, I'm so sorry!"

"Saria!" Her yelps grew louder as Saria ground her peach pit against Malon's again, her other hand running all over the girl's back, Malon's large udders mashing into and spilling over the sides of Saria's. "S-Saria, Saria, SaaaaAAAAria!"

"Why?" Saria asked her in a pained voice as she continued her advances. "Why are you so- are you trying to spur me on?"

"Y-yeah!" Malon's own tears dripped down onto Saria's forehead. "I d-don't think I even like you, b-but I- but I can't take it anymore, and if I ca- can't have Link's body, then... then- SARIAMMMH!"

It all made sense. Though a moment ago Link had been agonizing over what he should do next, it was as if he'd been handed a compass and a map with the location of the exit clearly marked. As Malon returned Saria's kiss with real passion this time, Link moved behind them, placed his hands on Malon's round, firm cheeks and thrust.

"YAAAAAAIIIHHH!!"

"UUUAAAAAAAAH!!"

"NNNGGGHHH!"

"Wha- wha- LINK!" Saria gasped as she felt his length slide along her peach. "But- how is- how can you be- this is OOOH, it's so good, you feel spectacular!"

"My fairy boy!" The satisfied glee in Malon's voice was scarcely noticable around her excitement, but he caught it. "My beautiful lover! What you're- MMMMH! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, YYYYYEAAAH!"

Initially, he had been afraid his idea would be a complete failure and that he couldn't actually maneuver himself in this fashion, but he had triumphed after all. His gourd and stalk fit tightly between the two peaches, gliding easily on their dripping blossoms and just touching the pits when he reached as far in as he could go before Malon's backside stopped his advance. As the two girls kissed again, he began pounding harder into the hole the flesh of both their bodies formed, sliding his hands around Malon's healthy, muscled waist and closing his eyes for a moment of unfettered ecstasy.

"Malon, Link!" Saria gasped, hands now moving all over her back again. "This is... this is so much more, SO much MORE!"

Malon's sharp intake of breath coincided with a thrust that took him right into her pit, mashing it hard against the fold that lidded it. "It's s-so hard! So much harder than when I milked it, y-you- LINK!!!"

"MORE, LINK, MORE!"

The end was alredy drawing near; too much had already happened and he couldn't put it off any longer. He told them as much and Malon nodded frantically, but Saria looked up at him in dismay.

"No, no, NO!" she sobbed. "Not now, when we just got- Link, please, can't you, y'know... hold out?!"

"I ca- I ca- I can't!" he grunted, mouth mostly hanging open as his fingertips pressed into Malon's flesh. "It's so good, I'm- I'm so close that it's going to come whether I want it to or not!"

"Saria, it's okay!" Malon told her, a hand caressing her cheek. Though Link couldn't see her eyes, her voice betrayed how terrified she really was of everything she was saying. "W-we'll be together again! I'll b-be with you!"

"MMMmmmMMMMMHHH!" Saria looked directly into Malon's eyes as she moaned, still crying, still writhing. "My little Malon, y-you really- NNNGH!"

"YAAIIIIH!" Malon concurred. "Link's so big, he- it's too much for such a bad girl, she needs punishment!"

Saria began to look a little confused, but that disappeared a moment later with a cry of pleasure; Link almost fell backward when he suddenly found one of Saria's feet in his face. Though he'd been prepared to recoil from both the kick and the smell of boot odor, both touch and scent were surprisingly gentle. Smiling bemusedly, he stuck his tongue between her two longest toes, and she giggled madly.

"St- stop!" she managed to say as she laughed and moaned. Malon tried for a split second to look behind her, but then she bucked so much her mouth landed on Saria's and they engaged again, Saria's fingertips dragging long, red marks down Malon's back.

"YEEEEOOOOAOAAH!" Malon cried aloud. "Yyyyes! Yes, scratch me to pieces! Rip me apart, make me b-bleed! I wanna feel s- s- SSSARIA!"

"MALON!" Saria cried in shock, trying to frown even though Link had her toes in his mouth now and she was twitching all over. "MalmMMMhHPHH!"

The end was here. Link knew it all at once; he had seconds before it was going to be all over, and much like Saria, he found he wanted it to last longer. Unfortunately, this wasn't going to be an option, so he released his lips from around the end of Saria's foot and cried, "HERE IT COMES, IT- IT-"

"LINK!!" both girls cried in unison before kissing each other ten times more furiously than they had before, Malon struggling to reach her hands up and cup either side of Saria's face. A single tear rolled down Saria's cheek as all the energy in Link's body began to gather down to his stomach, but almost at the exact moment he exploded, he felt something that only served to heighten that moment of extreme pleasure.

One of Saria's hands, which had been roving all over Malon's back a moment ago, came to clutch desperately at one of his own where it rested around Malon's hips. She found it, and squeezed so hard he was sure she'd shatter it unequivocally. She wanted to form another connection, and she did.

"RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!"

"MMMMMMMMMMHHHAAAAAAAAAH!!!"

"NNNNNYAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIH!!!"

Thick, hot fluid burst from his gourd as he held himself as far in as he could, coating the stomachs of both women and even shooting as far in as the region between their udders; he saw a single fleck land on the lower half of Saria's cheek. His stalk and pods were drenched in their juices, and this sensation only caused his stalk to spasm again and further paint them with its viscous mixture. Then, panting, he fell hard atop their bodies, causing Malon to smash down onto Saria.

"HHNNNHHH!!!" Saria grunted. "NNNooh, I- you're thhhhh.... HEAVVVVY!"

All Link had to do was twitch to one side just enough, and they all tipped sideways, lying next to each other instead of in a mad heap of arms and legs. His hip throbbed from where he'd been unable to properly brace his fall, but he didn't mind.

"Owww, my leg," Saria panted, flexing the toes that were still pressing into Link's face. That probably wasn't a very comfortable position now that the moment had passed, but he didn't even remotely have the energy to move it away for her.

"Ohhhh," Malon half-sighed, half-cried. "I'm so tight, and in pain, I... too much in one day, I think..."

Link could not reply; he was too busy concentrating on how unsettling the feeling of his stalk withering and withdrawing from between the women was. It would have been enjoyable had every stimulus to it not felt painful now that he'd abused it once again. His pods were throbbing in their sack now, as well, and he even felt a stabbing within the lower abdomen above all this.

"Mmmhh," Saria said after several minutes of quietude, standing unsteadily. How could she still move?! But the way she swayed back and forth told him it had been a real accomplishment on her part. He tried not to grin as he watched her slender behind gyrate on the spot. After steadying herself, she picked her way around both of them, found her way to Link's side, and sunk down again, curling up with him as he now lay on his back. "My Link."

"No, mine," Malon whimpered, rolling over to face both of them now and hugging herself to him as well, blue eyes closed but mouth twitching for him to kiss it, which he did briefly. That caught him off guard; he actually hadn't kissed her before, and he found that her lips were tender yet strong. "Mine forev... ever..."

They were all falling asleep; Link had been expecting it. That's what happens when you concentrate all the energy in your physical being into a burst of white-hot goo. Malon, he noticed, was already snoring quietly with her hand hooked defiantly around his shoulder, but Saria's eyes were half-open, staring at him with such intensity he almost looked away.

"No... mine." She gave him a quick peck on the cheek, and he swallowed thickly. "Even... even if somebody can take you away, or someone takes me away from you, they'll never erase what you mean to me."

"What about Malon?"

One corner of her mouth twitched up as she gazed over at the sleeping farmgirl. "Malon. Understand that I do like her, a lot - and I could probably spend the rest of my life with her, if she wanted. That's not the point." Link's childhood friend needed two deep breaths to gather the courage to look into his eyes and force out her next words. "You'll always be mine, Link... the one for me. First kiss, first love, first lover. My first and only. And deep down... my heart will always belong to you."

Teardrops rolled down his cheeks as he raised a hand to stroke her cheek with his index finger. "S-Saria..."

"Don't," she choked out, crying as hard as she could behind a curtain of exhaustion. "I can't hear how you really feel, no matter what that might be. You have to keep that secret from me as long as we live."

His melancholy smile mirrored hers. "But I... could never keep a secret from you."

Messy, tangled locks the color of grass and leaves snuggled into his armpit as they both finally joined Malon in slumberland. "First time... for everything..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Eventually I'll get to Chapter 5!)