Legend Of Zelda Fan Fiction ❯ Four Gourds Adventure ❯ Lemon Meringue ( Chapter 5 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

THE LEGEND OF ZELDA
Four Gourds Adventure
by AladdinAbu

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~CHAPTER FIVE: Lemon Meringue~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The air was still when Link's eyes opened again. Something was ominous - he wasn't sure what, but he felt it deep within his bones. Nothing came to him at first, but he knew there was something he must be doing, or somewhere he must be - and that if he didn't move soon, he would not only be too late but find himself in grave peril.

But when he made to rise, he felt two weights pressing down onto him. After looking over and seeing Saria's green hair falling into her sleeping eyes, glancing down at how her sweater and shirt were bunching just over her exposed, pointed peaks, he sat up fast. "SHIT!"

Unfortunately, both Saria and Malon's heads thudded into the forest floor when he did this, but though they groaned, neither one stirred enough to wake. Frowning with regret and panic, he stooped to look them over quickly; no damage. Good. Malon whimpered, and on a whim, he pushed her closer to Saria. He tried not to snicker when he saw both girls automatically curl up with each other, clutching tightly and smiling at the return of warmth and company.

"I'm glad they're friends now," he whispered aloud to himself. "I was afraid Malon would be all resentful of Saria for coming on too strong."

"Good," came a voice from behind him. "Now you only have to worry about US being resentful."

Link spun to search out the source of the voice, and felt his heart skip over a beat. "ZELDA, RUTO!"

"You're quite the man about town," Zelda laughed weakly from where she leaned heavily against a tree. Her robes were more or less shreds, and one of her brand new boots was missing. Streaks of blood and soil adorned her, partially washed off from what he guessed were several impromptu trips into the river; the cuts showed through the gaps in her clothing. Her hair, though lank and soggy, remained beautiful and golden. Her expression, on the other hand, was NOT golden. "I'd be patting myself on the back right about now were I you - having bedded FOUR young ladies in the same afternoon? Quite an accomplishment for a woodland boy newly acquainted with the outside world."

The smell of doom washed over him. He was about to die - all signs indicated this to be the case. "B-but Zelda, I- you have to listen, I wasn't-"

"Enough talk," Ruto cut in. She had a number of cuts on herself, as well, and he thought he saw a budding bruise on her ribs (though his lack of understanding of Zora anatomy meant he had no idea what a bruise would look like against their scales). Her gills fluttered continuously as her mouth took great, pained gulps of air to compensate. "Your words are pure poison, mammal."

"Okay," he said evenly, though his insides were anything but calm. "I'm getting this idea you guys are... upset."

"FOOL!" Zelda shouted, all pretense vanishing. "I GAVE YOU MY RING, AND YOU-"

"Rings are but a lump of metal!" Ruto snapped at her, too weary to make a move toward her adversary. "I gave him the ZORA'S SAPPHIRE! A sacred relic of our tribe, invaluable and irreplacable!"

"WAIT!" Taking a tentative step toward them, he gulped. "I think you're a little mixed up, here; I never agreed to BELONG to anybody, I'm just-"

"What did you think I meant by 'betrothed'?!" The growl at the back of Ruto's words was gutteral and frightening. "That sapphire means NO OTHER may lay claim to you - and FAR beyond that, the odious act I allowed to be carried out on my person in these very woods should have sealed our commitment!"

"He spurted into your anus," Zelda said with no small amount of disgust. "Which I'm still uncomfortable thinking about on SO many levels, but it's not as if he removed your honor - it's the wrong oriface!"

"An oriface is an oriface."

Now Zelda's eyes narrowed to slits as she pushed off enough to stare down her foe. "Then me drinking his seed counts equally, doesn't it?! He gave me that gift BEFORE you, so you don't have any claim!"

"That's not the-"

"Ooohhgg..."

Saria was sitting up now, and Link could only feel dread welling up with a vengeance - another person was going to join this fight. On that front, he couldn't be sure if they were now fighting over who got to keep him, or who had the right to decapitate him before an audience.

"Superb," Ruto spat. "This new pink-and-green monstrosity will no doubt want words."

"What... what hit me?" Saria mumbled, standing unsteadily. Then, she saw Link. "Link? Oh, Link, I- wait, that might have been a dream, I- I sh... but then there was..."

All eyes went to Malon, still slumbering on the forest floor. After a moment, Saria blinked, looked evenly at Link, and began to register shock, horror and shame in her features all at once. "Ah. So... yeah."

"What do you have to say for yourself?" Zelda asked her in a deadly voice. "After I... I trusted you, and you gave me not only your shoes, but your blessing!" Zelda looked close to tears now, but too outraged to succumb to them. "How could you deceive me like this?"

"Wait, it's not-" Saria ran a hand over her face as she tried to maintain her balance. "You're coming at this from the wrong thought path! I never intentionally led you astray, I- I really meant-"

"This is all so MOOT," Ruto burst in, folding her arms. "This bunch of backstabbing primates have no claim on my fiancee, so why must I endure their prattling on so?"

"WOULD YOU STOP?!" Link exploded in her direction. Ruto was having too much fun derailing their efforts to figure things out. "I told you, I had no idea what you were talking about when you gave me the Spiritual Stone, so stop acting like it meant you were first in line or something!"

"HA!" Zelda said triumphantly as Ruto deflated. "I TOLD you he wouldn't see it that way! Link belongs to me!"

"Are you so sure?!" Ruto began nastily, trying not to look at her ostensibly lost love again. "You may have thought this before we returned to find him with two OTHER such pink females as yourself! But what now? Can you be so sure he will not choose one of THEM over you?!"

The forest clearing became very quiet as everyone there seemed to become aware of what was going on. Link, for his own part, began to realize a choice he did not think he had to make had become very urgent, and he now must pick between four girls whom he liked with near equality - good friends he would rather not leave behind for any reason.

"You're kind of a jerk, aren't you?" said Navi as she came to rest on his shoulder. "Geez, I coulda told you juggling your chippies like this was a bonehead maneuver!"

"Thanks for telling me JUST in time," he replied through gritted teeth.

"I cannot believe I thought you were not only the Hero of Time, but the man I'd- but my Best Friend, for all our lives, the most important..." Zelda screwed up her features, cutting off self-pity and regret and transforming them into venom. "You're no better than Gannondorf."

"Don't say that," Saria put in, having found her shorts nearby and pausing in her words to pull them up - right over the dried residuals of Link's white substance. Link found himself gazing down at the forest floor, sick to his stomach at what he had put his blood sister through. "Okay, sure, he's an idiot, but I don't think you get where he's coming from!"

"Do enlighten us," said Ruto with a wan smile. "I'd forgotten that the foremost authority in relationships was some forest-bound strumpet!"

Though he could see the color rising in her cheeks, Saria did not rise to her challenge. "What I mean is, Link and I come from a very different culture - it's not like he was ever taught about marriage, or engagement or any of those things! He just doesn't understand!"

"Then how do YOU know about them?" Zelda asked swiftly.

"Girls talk," she said quietly. "Specifically, the Kokiri girls - we talk about marriage all the time. One of us must have heard about it eons ago, and now it's kind of a pipe-dream myth amongst us - it sounds so romantic and picturesque! But, well, obviously we never really talk to the boys about it, because Kokiri never have marriages. Why would we? We're infertile."

Everyone was gaping openly at her, now. Link was sure he hadn't heard her right, and Zelda seemed to be on the same page. "What do you mean, Saria? I th- then how are more Kokiri born?"

"We grow," she said with a miserable smile. "From the Great Deku Tree. Every season, his seeds hatch more Kokiri, who eventually grow into adults and help the Deku Tree teach the next generation of saplings."

A sinking sensation began to settle over Link. "Well, I knew that, b-but..." Then it hit home. "But the Deku Tree is dead, now."

"Yep." Saria laughed darkly. "Guess we won't be getting a visit from the stork any time soon."

"Then..." All anger and spite had left Zelda's voice. "Then the Kokiri..."

"No," Link uttered. "No, that can't be, that- NO!!!"

"Link, it's okay," Saria said. "We live so long it will be ages before our people die out. And then, we will fade away. It's sad, but such is life."

"Zora," Ruto breathed, shifting in an acutely uncomfortable fashion. "To watch your entire race perish from the face of the earth..."

"Your people, Link!" Zelda gasped, clutching his hands between her own. He saw all the miniscule cuts and the dirt beneath her once-elegant nails and felt yet more ashamed of himself, almost enough to overpower the gut-wrenching reality of the Kokiri's plight. "Th- there must be something we can do- m-maybe if Gannondorf is defeated, if it was his power that killed-"

"They're not Link's people, anyway," Saria whispered. "He's Hylian - he can reproduce with whoever he wants. He'll be fine."

"Don't talk like that," Link shot at her. "I'll always be Kokiri, don't you DARE tell me I won't."

"This is beside the point," Ruto cut across them in her curt, business-like tones. "Whether or not his fellows are doomed to extinction - tragic though it may be - Link has my sapphire, and he shall be my groom."

"Would you give that a rest?" Zelda whispered. "How can you be insensitive?"

Saria let out a bleak little chuckle. "They do say 'cold as a fish', don't they?"

"Rosy bags of warm, gooey sentimentality," Ruto said sourly. "Why should you worry over these tree-huggers, Zelda? Surely they're beneath your notice as princess of Hyrule."

"See, THAT is where our definition of 'princess' differs!" Zelda shouted, suddenly ready to jump right back into the fight. "You see it as an excuse to be doted on hand and foot, wheras I've been taught the responsibilities and expectations the title carries! To rule, you have to give a hoot, you know!"

"Mhhnghhh..."

Everyone was momentarily distracted by Malon sitting up and yawning widely, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. "I'm up, Ingo... cows milked yet?"

"The stablemaid joins us at last," Ruto muttered.

"Link?" she whispered, squinting up at him. He was disheartened by the way her features gradually lit up as they recognized him; in a few moments, she would be impaled on the spit of this argument, and that sweet, angelic face would lose its light. That seemed like a shame. "Oh, I... wait..." Her eyes took in Zelda and Ruto for a moment, but not having met them before she moved on to Saria. "Hey, don't I know you?"

"Um," Saria began, then stared down at her still-bare feet, reddening. "Kinda."

"Looked to me like you were at least acquainted," Zelda said out the side of her mouth.

"OMIGAWD!" Malon yelped. "I'm NAKED!"

Ruto chuckled again. "Grasp of the obvious - check!"

Though he'd been going to suggest it, Saria was already handing her the white dress she had worn so infrequently that afternoon. "Nevermind them - here, you can get back into your clothes."

"Why should she?" Ruto pressed on. "Link will have them off again soon enough. Better to keep your concubines shackled so they get no nasty ideas about propriety."

"That is ENOUGH!" he shouted, back straightening as he glared daggers at the Zora. "You're... PICKING on her, that's- how can you be so cruel?! If you don't want me to chase you from this clearing at swordpoint you will behave yourself!"

"Link, this is YOUR FAULT!" Ruto countered, dropping all passive-aggressive overtones. "You've wormed your putrid red genitalia into my SECRET COVE, and even THAT isn't proof enough to you that I'm worthy of your hand - let alone keep you from running around behind my back! Have you no sense of fealty?!"

"So what?! You begged and begged me to do it, and now you're trying to guilt me by saying I'M the one who talked YOU into it?! Make up your damn mind - did you want me to do it or not?!"

"DAMN IT!"

Everyone turned to look at Zelda again, who was clutching at her own temples. Her breath came in ragged gasps as she steadied herself to continue. "PLEASE, do we have to keep tearing each other apart?! The Kokiri are facing genocide, the kingdom is being overrun by a being of pure evil, and you- we're all acting STUPID!"

"Maybe YOU are," Ruto growled, "but the concerns of the kingdom concern YOU, not me. Link is what I care for most."

"Then you can't hold him to his promise," Saria said quietly as she tried to help Malon struggle into her clothing. "It's not right, because he doesn't understand what engagement means. I barely do myself."

"Eng- ENGAGEMENT?!" Malon gasped as she stared at Ruto in openmouthed amazement, having just popped her head out of the neckhole. "To this grouper on steroids?!"

"That's IT!" Two swift steps took Ruto within leaping distance of Malon, but Saria stood blocking her way; Link took up the cause, looping his arms under the princess's underarms and clamping them to the back of her largish head. "L- release me, I- this wench is-"

"Don't touch a hair on her head!" Link threatened. "You'd rip her in half, and I can't let that happen!"

"LET ME GO!" Ruto roared, spitting and foaming; Link almost released her from fright. "NO ONE MAY PUT HANDS ON THE HEIR OF ZORA LEST THEY LOSE ONE OF THEM!"

SLAP.

It was Saria who did it - struck Ruto across the face, sent her staggering back into Link's chest. As the fish queen recovered, hand pressed to the aching spot and wide-eyed, Saria whispered, "My Malon is off-limits. Try that again and I'll fry you up for dinner."

"Please," Ruto said gruffly, standing and dusting her arms needlessly. "As if you could."

"Link, what's going on?" Malon pleaded, edging behind Saria. "Wh... what IS that, why are you- and who's that covered in mud over there?"

"I am Princess Zelda," she told the farmgirl, glancing down at her tattered garments as if wishing she didn't have to declare this while looking the way she did. "Sorry, I- it was rude for me not to have introduced myself immediately."

"And... Saria?" she said meekly. With a pang of sympathy, he saw her memories creeping back in, watched its reflection in her features as she became more and more wary of her green-haired defender. "It... it was Saria, wasn't it?"

"It was," she affirmed without looking at her, busying herself by putting her boots back on.

"Link," Malon said softly, hands grasping for his sleeve. "I'm... okay, so maybe I missed some stuff while I was asleep, but I- but... what are all these people doing here? And you're... engaged?! Why didn't you tell me before?"

"Like he KNEW," Navi tittered.

"He didn't," Saria followed up, desperate to make her point at last before anyone else could interrupt her again. "Link's been my best friend since we could talk, okay? So believe me when I say I think we all kind of expected him to know what he was getting himself into, but as far as he understood we were only asking favors of him, and he was trying to be a good friend and help us out as much as he could. Which now means... we have a hell of a mess on our hands."

"Right," Zelda sighed. In vain, she tried using a fold of her robes to at least clear some of the muck from her face; it was a slight improvement, but she still needed a good washing. "We all seem to have a stake in this, but... it's not fair for us to ask Link to choose."

"I don't WANT to choose!" he burst out, still outraged at the very concept. "You're ALL my friends, I- I mean, if it's my gourd, I'll never so much as look at it again, but don't ask me to forget about any of you! That's, that's- that's the worst thing anybody's ever asked of me!"

While Saria and Zelda only nodded, he could sense Ruto finally coming to a place of recognizing where she had misunderstood his intentions. This was readily apparent when she stumbled backward, head shaking from side to side in slow arcs. "No... but... so all along, you really, truly had no idea? That wasn't just an act to- to force my hand, to prove my worth? You were uncomprehending when I gave you the sapphire that it was a symbol of- of-"

Malon's laughter cut through her words, and they all turned to wonder why she would think any of this funny.

"Geez Louise," she giggled. "If that's the problem, I'll make it easier for all of you right now - I'm outta here."

"What?" Saria breathed. "B-but- no, wait, why? Why would you leave?"

"I was never naive enough to think I'd be the one and only for Link," she said with a wide smile as she found her own boots lying near Epona. "Just as well I get out of everybody's hair before the shit starts flying." One foot got about halfway inside before it drew back out again, her lace panties dangling from between the toes. "Oops - surprise present."

"Wait," Link said quietly, putting a hand on her shoulder as she pulled her undergarments up beneath her dress. "You don't have to run off if you- I mean, don't act like you're inferior to anybody, that's not true!"

"Perhaps she should go," Ruto said. "If she isn't willing to stay and fight for what she desires, her desire must not be so strong."

"Oh, but you're wrong, there." Malon's tones were hollow and cold as she finished putting on her boots. "Link is everything I ever dreamed of in a man - he's my knight in shining armor, riding in on his white horse to save me from a miserable life full of ploughing fields and roping cattle. But... you know what they say, right? When something looks too good to be true, it usually is." She took a breath. "Two princesses, and his best friend? Who the heck am I to compete?"

"I'M his Best Friend." Zelda's voice was so low, Link wondered if she were more saying this to herself than to Malon. Malon heard it, regardless, and smiled again.

"Either way, I'm left in the dust - which is where I belong, anyway. Poor as dirt."

"Good riddance," Ruto grumbled.

"Can you not hold your tongue for the span of three minutes?!" Zelda fired at her. "There's absolutely NO reason for you to add insult to such injury!"

"Wait, please?" Saria said urgently as Malon patted Epona's neck, pacing forward and clutching at the chest of her sweater and shirt. "This doesn't have to be how it ends, it- don't run off before all your chickens are hatched!"

"Oh, the chickens," she muttered absently, pausing in mid-action as she was preparing to leap into the saddle. "Did I collect the eggs today? Shoot."

Link listened to Zelda and Ruto begin to squabble again, to Saria's pleas for Malon not to flee as Malon more or less ignored her, and he felt terrible. Why did they want him to belong only to them? Why HIM, anyway? Everyone kept reminding him he was some big hero, or of some other importance, or the only one for them... and here he was watching them go to pieces because of it. All the while, he felt neither heroic nor important.

His mind rewound the reel and he pictured Zelda's faith... Ruto's pleas for acceptance... Malon's inner anguish... Saria's lifelong devotion... and among them, he was supposed to say one of them was better than the others? Ridiculous - that was unfair and mean-spirited! Alas, that's what they each wanted - even though Malon and Saria had not sounded off so loudly. Though the concept was very new and very odd to the boy, these girls wanted a lifelong partner to swear to put them above all other friends and obligations - and they had each expressed desire for Link to fill that position.

He had to come to a decision - and being that he did not trust the soundness of his own judgment, he left it up to instinct. One young woman stood out in his mind more clearly, and he seized on that lest there be any blood spilled while he delayed. It was time.

"ALL RIGHT!" he shouted, causing the others to abandon their current speech and fixate on him. "Then I choose... Zelda!"

"WHAT?!" they all shouted, shocked at this news from nowhere.

"Zelda is... my Best Friend," he elaborated. "There. Now you can all stop fighting about it and get on with your lives. I'm sorry."

"I do NOT accept this!" Ruto blustered at once, eyes flashing dangerously as her voice took on a ghastly, threatening quality. "Link of Hyrule, YOU are the one I selected, and it is impossible that you would-"

"TOO LATE!" he shouted down at her. "You're going to have to accept it - I belong to Zelda, now! Time to find yourself a new fiancee, okay?!"

Everyone fell quiet for a moment, only now absorbing the true impact of his proclaimation. Link took a deep breath, whisked off his hat momentarily and ran his hand through his hair; he could not look at Zelda yet. The others were hard enough to observe, but Zelda's reaction to the news was far too much for him to process. Just as he was putting the cap back on, Saria breathed, "Ahh."

"See, told ya," Malon sighed, saddling her horse at once. "I'm off."

"No, wait!" Saria cried once more. "D-don't run off so fast, it's- he made the decision, there's no reason for you to take off if-"

"But there's no reason for me to stay, either," she volleyed, eyes focusing on the Kokiri as they filled with tears. "How could you do this to me? I w-wanted to giddyap on outta here before Link picked his steady, s-so I'd never have to know for sure it wasn't me! GOD, I've never- nobody has- that's just plain mean!"

"Th-that's... not what I... I didn't want you to be hurt, I j-just didn't want you to go!"

"WHY?!" she screamed, jumping down from the horse and flying toward Saria in a rage, fists raised; Saria caught her by the forearms, allowing herself to be driven back. "What possible, half-assed reason could you have for making me listen to my true love telling me he doesn't love me?!"

"Because he's not the only one who can love you, Malon!"

Only now did Link turn around to watch this properly. Something he had been sensing about Saria was unfolding in the only way he had predicted - Ruto and Zelda were shocked, to be sure, but he contented himself to watch curiously, feeling he'd already done enough that day without interfering.

"Wh... what do you mean?" Malon said softly. "I m-m- but Saria, no, we can't! That's all kinds of wrong, people don't do that!" She gulped noisily. "Sure, we had a good time with Link, and- and maybe I can admit that even though I hated you being there at first, it... it wasn't so bad, okay? But I can't- I could NEVER! Ever, ever! Understand?!"

"Of course I'll understand if that's how you feel," Saria whispered, lower lip quivering as she took a step back and away from Malon. "But do you have to shoot me down right off the bat? Can't you, y'know... try it first? I could show you I'm not such a crappy consolation prize."

"But you're a friggin' GIRL!" Malon shouted up into her face, eyes stretched wide in panic. "And so am I, and that's- no, I'm sorry, I- I-" Another noisy gulp, and this time a tentative glance around - her voice dropped in tone as she conceded, "I do kinda like you, b-but I can't be with you that way! You'll have to find somebody else, too! We both will, and- and we'll be fine, right?"

"No." So much life had drained from Saria's tone that Link gazed evenly at her, trying to determine if she was going to pass out or die standing. "We Kokiri can never leave this forest... and there's nobody here I could ever come to love. You and Link are the only ones I've EVER thought of that way, and- and-" Her arms folded tightly to her ribs, hugging to shield herself from the chill of loss. "And I'll just have to get along by myself, I guess. But don't start thinking I'll run off and hook up with Mido or anything crazy, because I'd rather be the last Kokiri living alone in this forest than marry someone I don't love."

No one spoke. Wind rustled the treetops. Without further words or display, Malon slowly made her way to Epona's side, saddled up, and let out one strangled sob before she took off from the woods at top speed. A few seconds later, Saria slid to the ground, face buried in her hands.

"Well done, Hero," Ruto said bitterly. "Destroying so many hearts in one afternoon! Must be some sort of pathetic right of passage for you mammalian blighters."

"SHUT UP."

Link had been about to say it himself, but staggered back in shock as Saria rose to her feet. She had been crying, of course, but her tone did not betray it. "If you think Link enjoyed that, you're a pretty poor representative of your clammy little clan."

"What?!" The way Ruto's neck elongated and her fingers splayed told Link that Saria would be wise to stop talking now, but he was too worried about what was going to happen next to speak up. "How DARE you insult-"

"Both Malon and I knew all along that Link wasn't going to choose us. Hell, I was counting on it. I'm just glad he decided to say as much, so we can move on with no regrets. I mean, seriously, I made out with another girl while he hit me from behind - if THAT wasn't enough to shake his love for Zelda, then it must be the real deal."

"Saria," he breathed, distressed at what he'd done to his blood sister and oldest companion. "Y-you don't- c'mon, you know I'll always-"

"Yeah," she interrupted with a watery smile. "And I'll always. But you have to keep that secret, okay? For me." Her mouth twitched down. "Just tell me one thing?"

"Of course we're still friends. Don't be lame."

She blinked, then broke into a genuine, albeit teary, grin. "The perfect answer. Thank you."

"STOP IGNORING ME!" Ruto screamed. After a few ragged breaths, she managed to spit out, "Link... you can't... this isn't right, it's..."

"Need some water?" he asked, handing her his emergency flask. Staring between it and his face for a moment, she grabbed it and sprinkled a few droplets on her gills, where they vanished almost instantly.

"Better," she said gruffly as she thrust it back at him. "But that doesn't mean I'm giving up on you - you have my sapphire, and I DEMAND you honor that commitment!"

"He'd probably have to if he were a member of your tribe," Saria said flatly. "But he's not - he's Hylian. You can't hold him to the same code if he refuses - ESPECIALLY when you didn't explain it beforehand. You're lucky he didn't outright kill you for trying to trick him."

"TRICK him?! Never!" Her anger shifted into righteous indignation mode as she stared between Saria and Link, incensed. "My only thoughts were of how proud, h-how absolute our rule together could be! He was to be my KING, don't you see?!"

To this, Saria laughed. "Power and status; worthy ambitions. I guess I can understand that, must be really important to the Zoras."

"You do NOT understand! To have Link at my side would mean we would be unstoppable! No one, not even my father, could stand in the way of one so brave as Link! His passion and righteous fury would leave no room for any to question our rule! No one could tear us apart, ever, and if they tried both of us would fight to the death rather than be separated!"

Link glanced back at Saria, curious as to whether or not she was gleaning any more from this random display of posturing than he was. Apparently not, because she shrugged, prompting him to turn back and ask, "So... you wanted to wed me because-"

"Because I thought we were the perfect match!" She was heaving again, but sheer determination kept her from asking for more water or slowing down. "Both cunning, both fierce, both full of convictions! You moreso than I, apparently, because I was in no way clever or ardent enough to convince you of my worth as your bride - inflammation of my cove notwithstanding!"

"You didn't love me, though," he said shrewdly.

"Beyond that - I respect you! Do you realize how precious few beings in this miserable kingdom I actually respect? You can count them on one flipper! But yes, if you must know, I DO love you - if I had to forfeit my throne to be with you, I would do so in an instant because my beloved is FAR more important to me than my father's expectations! How does THAT fall into your casual write-off of my advances?!"

Link was beyond speech. "Whoa" was the best Saria could do, and Zelda was still silent. As they watched, Ruto dropped her gaze, shivering visibly from both lack of oxygen and the feeling of nakedness that comes with pouring out the contents of your heart.

"Don't bother," she squeaked out at last, entirely beaten. It was almost wrong to see the haughty Princess Ruto like this, but he'd already seen her beg and cry - though he was still unsure which was worse. "You've already made your decision. It may be the wrong one, as I believe... or you may be wise enough to perceive reasons why our union would fall apart that I cannot fathom. Either way... I have..." She coughed, swallowed thickly, and said in a quaivering voice, "I have no choice but to accept that I've lost you."

"Ruto-"

"I would ask for the Zora's Sapphire back if I thought you'd give it to me," she half-laughed, "but I know better than that. Your need is greater than mine. So we... so I'll bid you farewell."

She was near the edge of the clearing by the time he finally mustered the courage to shout, "Ruto, you ought to know I don't hate- I- I'm sorry I wasted your time!"

For a long moment, she hesitated between two trees, hand touching the bark lightly. Finally, she turned around, and Link was startled to see her underbelly had taken on the slightest, almost invisible shade of pink. She gazed at him wistfully for a long moment, then smiled and said, "Hero Of Time, YOU ought to know I do not view my time alone with you as wasted." And she was gone.

"Phew," Saria gusted. "That was intense."

"I'll say."

"So Link," Saria whispered into his ear, "you can find me in the Village later and fill me in on the details - or, well, the general audiences version. Until then, loverboy..."

He had been wondering what she was talking about until he watched her backing past him into the trees, and before she disappeared entirely, flashing him a semi-sweet, semi-coy grin, she passed right by where Princess Zelda had been crouched for several minutes, one arm curled around the side of a tree.

"Oh," Link thought aloud. "Just you and me, now. I, uh... yyyyeah."

She was staring straight down into her knees, her hair was hiding her features. Even as he approached, as he crouched directly in front of her, the princess remained motionless. His hand extended, perching on her shoulder. "H-hey, I- what's wrong?"

"How could you?"

Link wasn't sure what he'd been expecting, but that was not it. "Huh?"

"How could you be with all those girls... touch them, grope their naked bodies? How could you when... when you knew I wanted to be with you?"

"Zelda, I- I..." He'd been seconds from trying to defend himself when he caught that instinct and squashed it. "No, you're right. I was being a dunce. I should have known those things aren't something you can do with just any old person, no matter if you're friends or not. I'm... I apologize for hurting you."

"But how are we supposed to continue on?" she asked, sniffing as she looked up into his eyes - hers were very wide and bloodshot, and he came to wonder if she'd spent the entire time he was talking to the others crying silently. The likelihood was high. "Am I supposed to simply forget when I touch you that I'm touching three other women? That I couldn't- that my body and soul are so inferior that you didn't find yourself honorbound to me?"

"Oh - oh, no, no, no, Princess," he chuckled, laying back to gaze up through the leaves at the tiny patches of sky. "I never actually thought you'd WANT to be my Best Friend after all this! I just.. I only said I picked you because it's how I felt."

"What?"

"Come on, after the way I ruined everybody's lives? I don't deserve to let anybody touch my gourd ever again!" He hesitated a moment. "Maybe I should just take my sword right now and-"

"NO!" Zelda gasped, suddenly leaning over him with her matted, muddy hair hanging above his face. "Don't, don't- please don't commit ritual suicide, or mutilate yourself, Link, I- that's not going to do anyone any good!"

"That's right," he sighed. "Gannondorf. Sorry, I wasn't-"

"NO," she repeated. "Not Gannondorf - valid point, however. Link, I... I didn't mean to say I would never forgive you or that I wanted you to die! I'm just... exceptionally wounded. Don't you understand?"

"It's okay, Zelda, I- I'm not good enough for the princess of a kingdom, not with everything I've done. It's the truth, and it always has been. But I'm committed to fighting the good fight, so you don't have to worry about me backing out or anything. I'm still in it."

"I thought we went over this!" she half-sobbed. "By declaring ourselves Best Friends, we're not to judge each other based on status! D-don't you WANT to be my Best Friend anymore?"

The prospect of Zelda not only resisting the temptation to gut him, but actually continuing to seek his affections was beyond Link's comprehension. "I- I guess, but why would YOU? How can you stand me? I hurt you so badly, I'm s-so-"

"Brilliant, and strong, and brave," she cooed into his chest as she fell atop it. Link remained stock still, afraid of what might happen next. "And not the greatest mind of our era, but everyone is allowed a few mistakes. Mine was to allow myself to get caught up in passions before we could find suitable shelter - that's what started this whole fiasco."

"Zelda!" he shouted, sitting bolt upright so their noses touched. Though he wanted to move away, keep himself at arm's length from her, he found he could not bring himself to do so. "Zel- you can't EVEN blame yourself for any of that, it was my stupid gourd and its really persistent will to try new things!"

"I thought we could stop for a quick rendezvous," she whispered. "And that it wouldn't affect anything, b-but here we are, several hours later, and I'm no nearer hidden nor you to the Door of Time than we were when the Skulltula attacked. All because I felt so much urgency to tell you how I feel, and such inability to keep walking in those abominable heels!"

Hesitant and fearful, Link allowed himself a tentative grin as he sat back at last. "So you're telling me you blame all of my two-timing adventures... on your footwear?"

"Link, I'm STILL having problems with footwear." As she talked, she raised her bare, muddy foot. "How do you ruin two pairs of shoes in one day?!"

"Zelda," he breathed into her shoulder, clutching her tightly to his own body. "DEKU, I am so, so glad you're okay, I- I didn't get a chance to say it before, but you have no idea what relief I felt when Saria told me you'd found her!"

For a moment, she said nothing, hands pressing lightly into his back. Then, with an awful sob, she whispered, "You can't go running around on me anymore after this, all right?! You know better now, so it won't be acceptable ever again!"

"Don't worry about me. I'm wearing your ring, now - I'm your Best Friend. Nobody else's."

Simultaneously, the two drew back to look into each other's eyes. Even crusted with drying mud, bloody splatters and cuts and what might soon be a black eye, Zelda's beauty shone far above that of any girl he'd ever met. Her heart echoed every wish in his. It didn't amaze him in the slightest that when he actually went to puzzle over the decision of who held his heart, he actually found there was no contest.

Zelda's lips drew closer to his, and his heart began to beat faster. She leaned in...

"HEY!"

Link jumped to his feet immediately, feeling Zelda's mouth bump into his leg. After a moment, she stood to join him as he watched Epona burst into the clearing, the out-of-breath girl astride the steed sweating profusely and looking positively stricken.

"Thank the Deku for small favors," Navi muttered, fluttering to a rest on Link's shoulder again. "Not sure I wanted to see any more of that."

"What, what is it?!" Zelda gasped.

"Please, I- where is she?!" Malon panted, lip quivering. Great, glistening streaks down her face told that she'd been doing a lot of painful thinking. "Don't tell me I- I'm too late, that she's-"

"Saria went home," Link told her, curious. "To Kokiri Village."

"BLAST IT!" she sobbed furiously, clutching Epona's reins in a deathgrip. "Oh, I- man, I don't even know what I'm doing, but I wanted- can you tell me where she is?!"

Link and Zelda exchanged a bemused, uncomfortable glance, before Link smiled up at her. "Come on... we'll show you the way. Do you think Epona can handle three riders?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All was quiet in Kokiri Village as Link stole across the grass, passing one sleeping Kokiri as he rounded the corner and came to the wooden ladder that led up to his tree hut. Eventually, his hands and feet brought him to the door, and he climbed inside.

"Link!" Zelda's face lit up when she spotted him. "Well?"

"Um... I'm not sure I should tell you," he laughed. "Not even sure I should have been spying on them, but... well..."

"What, what?!"

"I think Malon might be staying in Kokiri Village for a while," he said, grinning from ear to ear.

"Ohh, that's wonderful!" She sat up more properly, one hand clutching the sheets to her chest. "It's a shame they had to meet under such strangeness and strife, but at least they've found each other."

"You have no idea how good it is to see Saria that happy," he gusted, sinking down on the edge of her (his) bed. "I mean, she was happy when we were, um... but this is for real, you know?"

"Relationships trump any moment of fleeting pleasure," she continued for him. "I do wish them all the best."

"Come on!" he said, pulling at her arm. "Let's go for a swim, or- hey, maybe we could find that old rope swing! I feel like celebrating!"

"LINK-!"

Once he'd pulled her enough, her sheets had fallen away to reveal her bare chest, slight mounds rising and falling with the suddenness of exertion. "O-OH!" he stammered, slapping his hands over his eyes. "Wow, I- Zelda, I had no idea you didn't have any-"

"It's all right," she said snappishly, replacing the covers. "You can look again, just... be more careful."

Laughing stupidly, he resumed his seat. "Where'd all your clothes go? I mean, didn't-"

"One of the Kokiri offered to wash and mend them for me," she said softly, wrapping the sheet more tightly around herself. "There was scarcely anything left of them."

"You should have said something - I'd have lent you some clothes!"

"Well, yes, but... I didn't feel I needed any."

"Huh?"

"Navi," she whispered. "Ahh... if you could-"

"I'll be hanging around what used to be the Deku Tree if you need me," she said in a flat tone of voice - her tiny fingers pinched Link's cheek before she zoomed out the door and away, a trail of giggles in her wake.

"Good. Now, then... come to bed, Link."

"Ok- okaaaay..." Slowly, he undid the belt that held his sword and shield to him, letting them fall in a pile nearby. "But I'll have to make myself a bedroll - unless I should go stay with Mido?"

"Come to BED, Link."

He gulped. "Are you s-sure?" But Zelda only smiled at him in such a way that he could feel warmth spreading outward from his chest, so he said, "Yep, you sure are sure. Sure you are! Umm..."

"You won't need to be wearing anything."

Laughing bashfully, he kicked his boots under the bed, then removed both tunic and shirt, turning redder with each movement. At last, when he was dropping his hat atop his other clothes, Zelda whispered, "Now get in here, Hero Of Time. Your princess awaits."

"But I don't want any princess - I want to be with my Best Friend."

Smiling yet wider, she lifted the very corner of the bed, and he slid under the covers next to her. After a moment of lying side by side, she rolled over and curled her soft, naked form around his, and he could feel his chest beating loudly into the night.

"Tomorrow, you go off to fulfil your destiny and face down our mortal enemy. You will succeed - I am certain of this - but we may never see each other again. The Triforce can only know what will come to pass."

"Don't talk like that," he whispered into her soft golden locks. They smelled so wonderful, and he knew it wasn't just because she had washed up... "We'll be fine."

"I- I don't believe that," she whispered into his bare chest, one hand stroking along it lightly. "We shall prevail, but every war has its casualties. That is why, before I allow you to get the rest you need... I want to give you my final, greatest blessing. My fondest wish was to wait until the night of my wedding to bestow this upon whomever would become my husband, but... that luxury is not open to me. My virginity will not wait for an unknown date, and I accept that gladly."

"Zelda..."

"We shall be together as man and woman," she said, shifting upward to breathe directly into his ear; this caused him to tingle from head to foot. "Best Friends, joined always."

He started to protest, to ask her not to waste her virginity on someone who had hurt her so much, who might be dead less than a day later... but she was already kissing him deeply, her hands running over his chest and shoulders. Every inch of him shuddered - the entire area of her nude flesh was pressing into his! Though he had thought the brief moments he'd shared with the other girls had been nice, feeling himself against them, it was so much more intimate now that he was also wearing no clothing, and neither was Zelda. Her feet brushed his beneath the sheets, and their legs intertwined. The very fine hairs above her peach were rustling against his hip, which, along with everything else, began to awaken his sleeping gourd.

"You should stop," he breathed, swallowing hard. "I'm... the stalk, it's going to grow again, and that-"

"Shhh," she breathed, placing a finger atop his lips again. "There's no reason to worry over that anymore, my love. It's what I long for most."

The same hand made its way under the sheets, feeling along his abdomen until it found his warm, soft stalk, and she giggled. "Wow, it- I had no idea it was so squeezable before you grew aroused, I've never-"

"Hmmmhhh..."

"Ahh," she cooed, feeling the way it strengthened under her touch. "There we are."

Unable to stop himself any longer, he placed his arm around her thin shoulders and drew her to him, pressing his lips into hers. She raised her hand to his shoulder and pulled him to her, as well, allowing her thigh to rest upon his gourd and stalk. Even as his tongue traced its way along her soft lips, he could feel another pair of lips kissing the very top of his leg, and his gourd twitched against her. She drew back and smiled down at him, possibly suppressing another laugh.

"Sorry."

"Never be sorry." Again, she engaged him in a feverish kiss, rubbing both peach and leg against him, causing him to forget all worries and concerns and lose himself in her warm body, her graceful curves and supple skin. He allowed his hands to roam all over her back and shoulderblades, up her neck to the base of her skull, along her slight, cushioned behind. Every moment made her press into him more, devour his lips and tongue more hungrily, until at last she broke off and moaned directly into his ear, sending a chill down his spine and his gourd thrusting into her leg.

"Zelda... wow, Zelda, this... are you sure this is okay?"

"I would hope it's a lot more than 'okay'," she replied hotly, and he found himself watching the way a few strands of her golden hair fell into her eyes for a moment. Without stopping to consider why, he used one hand to gently coax her head toward him, and he opened his lips and took the very tip of her pointed ear into it. "MMMhhhh... ooh, I th- I think I enjoy that..."

"May I taste you, now?" he asked roughly a minute later. "You did promise."

For a moment, she just stared at him, before nodding. "I did, at that... but... do you really want to? It's such an... unattractive part of my person, I can't imagine why-"

"You know, both Malon and Saria told me that," he muttered to himself, realizing far too late that this was perhaps an unwise thing to mention at that moment. "No, I m-mean- well, I'm just wondering... do all women think their peaches aren't pretty? Because if so, I think that's a shame."

Zelda had been about to make a heavily-barbed comment, but she bit it off, instead contenting herself to reach down and pinch one of Link's nipples between forefinger and thumb - he seized violently, and only then did she smile again and answer him. "Perhaps you're right, but... well, if you must try it... may I try you again, as well? I want to feel I have time to savor you now that we're hidden away amongst the tree folk."

"Oh? Well, um... okay, but will that really be possible at the same-"

"Just... don't look at me," she pleaded as she shifted, moving to a seated position. "Please? I apologize for being so unreasonable, b-but I ca- I... just promise me you'll close your eyes?"

Smiling again, he did as she asked as she crawled over his body, hands coming to a stop on either side of his hips. Still he refrained from opening them when he began to note the familiar scent of her peach drawing closer to his nostrils. Her words were so indistinct when she settled that he couldn't make out what she said - too nervous to speak clearly, he supposed. But she seemed to be telling him to begin, and thus he did.

"HNNNHHH!!!" As her sweet nectar rolled down his chin, her bottom spasmed up and away from his tongue. "By the gods, I can't, that's- mmh, no, you m-mustn't!"

"Zelda, my eyes are still closed," he said playfully.

A moment passed as she breathed hot, teasing air onto his stalk, causing it to rouse further. Then she whispered, "I... oh, I'm almost sure a true lady never allows herself to feel this wild, this... unhinged!"

"You're always going to be a lady to me, Princess... this can't change that."

Her peach was almost within reach again; he could sense it, feel his forelock brushing one of her cheeks. "B-but... you really don't think my behaviour is... shameful, or unbecoming?"

"Like I know about that stuff," he chuckled. "What I do know is that I like what we're doing, and I'm not going to stop being your Best Friend just because you decided to let yourself enjoy it."

Five more seconds ticked by before her peach lowered onto his mouth again, and he wasted no time poking his tongue between her silky, delicate lips, reaching inside for more of her honey. Several indistinct screams of joy erupted from her as he let his hands slide upward onto her backside, trapping her there, keeping her close enough so he could drink his fill.

"NnnooAAIIIH!" she gasped again, face pressing into his stalk as she writhed from his actions. "It's so h- so h- soNNNHHHHAAAIIIAAH!" She took three or four ragged breaths before she made another attempt to express her feelings. "It f-feels as if you're trying to d-draw out my soul, and I- and I- I want you to t-take it! Take all I have, my Hero!"

For another two minutes, Link made no further moves than to explore her inner walls with his mouth, eventually reaching down to use his thumbs to further open her peach. He winced from the tugging of his hairs being caught between her toes, but he knew she probably had no control over that. Her screams, though intentionally muffled between his thighs and under the sheets, rolled over him and spurred him on, causing him to occasionally draw back and nip at her inner thigh with his teeth, which in turn caused her to jerk and thrash each time, though she did not ask him to desist. He was moments from doing this once more when he felt her lips gliding down his throbbing stalk.

"Haaah!"

"Yes, Link," she moaned hotly onto his pods, hand caressing his gourd. "I shall eat, and y- and you shall drink, and we shall BOTH be merry! Mmmnh!"

"HAAAAIIH!!"

"MMMHHNNHH!!"

He was not altogether prepared to feel the insides of her cheeks and throat caressing the length of his stalk while he attempted to continue gulping the syrupy treasure from her peach - and neither was she, apparently, as he felt the painful scrape of her teeth a time or two. Though it was no more pleasant than when Malon had nicked him, he found he did not mind, as Zelda was being teased so thoroughly he found it amazing she could persevere.

"Zelda, you are... you're unlike any other, it's- it's- OOH, this is-!"

"Hhhmmnnnhh!" she replied, one hand dancing along his inner thigh lovingly as she took him deeper and deeper into her throat, using her tongue to full advantage and grinding her sopping folds into his face simultaneously. Then, unable to resist, he maneuvered one of his thumbs a short way inside, and she immediately withdrew his stalk and yelped, "LINK!"

"S-sorry," he said quickly, frowning against her thigh. "I'm... I'm sorry."

"It's... it's okay," she panted, swallowing thickly and pressing her cheek against his leg as she continued to stroke him gently. "That... I was not expecting that!"

"Then... can I?"

"No," she sighed. "I don't, I... there is something else I'd like you to offer my pink peach."

Smiling to himself, he let his tongue rove downward and swat her pit - as she yelped, he noted that while hers felt approximately the length of Saria's, it was narrower and far less rigid. He had to force himself to ask a question instead of wrap his lips firmly around it. "And what's that?"

"MmmmMMMMhhh!" she panted into his pods, fingertips digging into his thighs. "Link, you're so-! I, um... yes." She cleared her throat, then laughed nervously. "I... I wanted to feel you inside me."

"Up here?" He cast a brief lick over her knothole, prompting another yelp and a pronounced squirm as he registered the familiar tang; dark and rich. The shock in her voice was unmistakable.

"NO! Goodness, Link, those other women left you all sorts of brainwashed and misled!" With great care, she drew fully beneath the blankets, turned, and came to rest atop him; he allowed himself to look at last, and he saw her tear-filled eyes inches above his own in the semi-darkness. "Do you understand?"

"Well..." He reached up and held her to his body, feeling her peaks pressing against his flesh and her breath on his neck, her legs sliding along his. "I might."

"Then let me show you how I mean," she whispered, reaching down and under her own legs to grasp his stalk. "Link... I want us to be joined together. Will you... be one with me?"

No words would come. This was the something Saria had desired so greatly, that he had been inches from giving to her. This is what he might have done with Ruto had it been a different season. As she moved the tip of his gourd into place directly below her peach, he nodded - but instead of allowing him to thrust up into her, she placed a brief kiss on his lips before rolling off and landing beside him, gazing over with eyes full of lust and adoration. For a long moment, he was more than content to watch her, to drink in the stark beauty of her features in the moonlight, to fall hopelessly into her clear blue eyes and watch the rise and fall of her peaks beneath his thin blanket. Then, smiling, he rolled over and placed himself above her, staring down at the woman who wanted him to take her virginity.

"Please?" Zelda asked plaintively, pouting slightly in such a playful manner that he couldn't help but smile.

"One second." He allowed his body to shift backward, and he crawled in reverse to position his face over her peach. Though a small whimper sounded in the back of her throat, he drew her legs apart and beheld the flower he would be invading. A quick glance up showed Zelda was staring toward the window now, frowning and distraught, so he made sure to be quick with his judgment. "It's no less beautiful than the rest of you."

"Stop," she replied quietly. "It is not."

"Is so," he argued as he left a brief kiss on the pit before returning to kiss her face. Her eyes turned up to his, questioning, searching for whether or not he truly didn't loathe the look of her, but he refused to answer again; the heated, empassioned movements of his lips on hers would have to tell her. Then, as he felt her fingernails clutching at his back, his gourd found her folds.

"OH!"

"Shh," he said. "I'll pull back if y-"

"No, no, don't!" she shot at him desperately. "This is what I want more than- I must- you have no idea! Link, I have but three wishes in this life, and beyond Gannondorf's defeat by your hands and your safety, this is it! All I want in the world is you!"

Smiling nervously, heart thudding against his ribcage, he allowed his gourd to brush her again, and as he paused and waited once more for her final approval, she whispered, "Be one with me."

The only feeling Link could liken entering Zelda to was that of plunging head-first into a frigid swimming hole on a hot Summer's day; every pore of his body cried out in pleasure, and the feeling swirled around him, lifting him so far out of himself that he could swear he was above the clouds. The insides of her peach, delicious and relenting enough on his tongue, were yet more inviting and warm when meeting his stalk, and he held himself there, eyes and ears blocking out the world as he tried to memorize that moment with as much clarity as he could manage. It was like being at the center of the sun. Every part of her trim, pale body was pressing against him, her mouth inches from his head when she screamed into the night - he was too ecstatic to register the pain in his ear drum. After the intitial cry, she continued to sob loudly and shriek, but as he began to wonder if this was truly hurting her she gasped, "I NEED YOU!"

"Wh- wha- Zelda?"

"Link, y-you're- there's so much of you, I- it's filling me up, from back to front, I c-can't- NNNHHHHGHHGGAAAIIIIAAHHH!!"

"Zelda!" he grunted, sliding in and out of her as gradually as he could given how his pods and stomach clamored for him to speed up. "This is unbelievable, I- Great Deku, it's unbelievable how good it is!"

"This... I need... NYAAAIIIIIAAAHHHNG!"

A rhythm developed in their movements and Link relinquished himself to it, diving into her as her hips shifted back, then drawing out again as she pushed forward. In one failed attempt at this, he withdrew all the way and lost his place, so he hurriedly reached down to guide his thoroughly-coated stalk into her, prompting a fresh screech and convulsion from his lover. As he reached up to stroke her face, he noticed something that nearly caused him to topple off the bed.

"BLOOD!"

"Wha... what?!" she panted as he stopped thrusting. "What's the matter?"

"Zelda, y-you're bleeding! Damn it, I knew this seemed like it was killing you, I can't believe-"

"Don't fret, my Best Friend," she laughed weakly. "Nothing is wrong, there's supposed to be blood! It is only to mark the loss of virginity; I'll not suffer from it."

"What?! But..." He looked at his hand again, at the streaks of red glistening among the clear fluids, and swallowed heavily as he returned his eyes to Zelda's, which were yet more reassuring than her words. Still...

"My goodness," she breathed, the tug of heartstrings apparent in her features. "You really didn't- with the others, it... I AM your first, aren't I?"

Though he nodded, what he said aloud was, "Come on, Zelda, I d-don't want to keep doing this, not if you have to bleed for it!"

"But I have already bled!" she protested, her own hands coming up to rest on his hips. It was a wonder she could manage this, as she was trembling all over from his stalk's presence within her. "There's no sense in stopping now, that- it would be quite a waste!"

"I-"

Her eyes were already filling with tears, and though he'd been sure they were from whatever pain he had caused, she said, "Link, please! If you wish to stop, I'll understand, but I- I really do want this more than anything! Don't break my heart!"

Frowning, he pushed into her once more and she gasped, "YES! Link! Link, I feel so full of joy, full of- of YOU! You're filling me to bursting, and I want more, I want all you are!"

"Zelda!" he cried as he cast aside all withholdings, praying to whatever gods were listening that he really wasn't causing her irreparable harm before he gave himself over to the building climax within him. "You can have it! I want you to have- to have everything you've ever wanted!"

Again she screamed, her thighs coming up to rest against his abdomen as he pounded harder and harder against her, stretching out the fragile mouth of her peach with his girth. He wanted to kiss her again, he wanted to rub his face all over her sweat-drenched, glistening body, but his yellow gourd's mad hunger to reach the deepest part of her overpowered his other wants. Without warning, and much sooner than he'd been expecting, she suddenly said, "Ohhhh??"

"Wha- wha- wha?"

"I... I feel a, a- NNNHHH! Link, something's about to happen, I- I'm going to, I'm going to- to-"

"Gallop away?"

"NNNYAAAAIIAAAHHHH!!!" Her hips began to buck more violently as her hands curled up and around his arms, digging so thoroughly into his flesh that he was sure she'd slice him open. "It's happening! I'm getting... I'm going to overflow!"

"Zelda!" he gasped aloud, her words prodding at his center and building upon the feeling that his end was nearing yet more. Gritting his teeth as he strained to keep himself thudding into her, he said, "Y- nnghh, yeah, I f-feel- I'm gonna spray the white fluid again, it's- Zelda, it's going to happen inside if I don't-"

"My Link!" Her expression was transported as she looked up into his eyes, mouth hanging open but smiling all the same. "My Hero, please, fill me! Paint m-my insides! Spurt so deeply into me that I feel it forever!"

"I LOVE YOU!"

Her eyes went wide with surprise - or was it fear? However, she only had a moment to wonder at this before he was releasing everything he had into her, and her actions began to echo his. He'd been down this road before, with the princess of the Zoras, but something else was in store for him this time: as he leaned low over her, panting directly onto her neck, she screamed and arched her back like a cat avoiding a bath, and he felt her inner walls pulsating against his stalk, drawing more of the cream from within him and amplifying the blinding pleasure that had already taken over his entire body. Just as he had last time, he collapsed atop his lover, valiantly struggling to regain his breath.

"That... that..." It was all she could say, though he felt her arms caressing every inch of his back.

"Yeah," he agreed, unable to move any further. It was a while before he could move his head just enough to nuzzle into her neck and say, "Hmmmhh..."

"Yes," she giggled vaguely, one hand coming to rest upon the crown of his head. "Poor thing... that was... that was tiring..."

"Mmmhmmm," he concurred.

A few more minutes passed, and at last he rolled off of her, afraid he would have suffocated her if he continued to lie there - she moaned again when his stalk exited her insides, but it was only followed by more heavy breathing. She let out a displeased sigh at his absence, but shifted her position to curl around his body again, nuzzling deep into the crook of his shoulder as she drew the sheet tightly around them.

"Hnnnn..." she sighed into him contentedly.

"Oh, Zelda." He allowed his hand to run over her hair as he recovered, staring at the ceiling.

"Link, you... said something. Before."

"Hmm?"

"During our love-making," she continued quietly, toying with the signet still around his finger. "Did you mean... everything you said? I certainly won't think any less of you if you told me an untruth to spare my feelings in the heat of the moment!"

"I meant everything," he said fervently. "No lies."

"Then-" With so much speed he almost cried out, she was very suddenly kissing him full on, pawing at his chest and panting as she roved all over his face, suckling at each lip in turn. A few seconds passed before she broke off, stared directly into his eyes with her own blazing blue orbs and said, "Then I love you, too! I love you, Link of Kokiri, my Hero Of Time, I love you with all of my being!"

It came back to him; he had said as much. He'd been meaning to say that he'd never leave her, or that she was extraordinary, but the truth had slipped out. Now that it had, there was no sense in beating around the bush. "Yes, I love you, Princess Zelda... my Best Friend."

One final kiss was shared between the two lovers before the next morning dawned and Link departed to face dangers unknown... though it lasted so long, they felt as though they had spent eternity together. And, perhaps after it was all said and done, they did.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE END
(WAIT - didn't like how it all worked out? Think Link should have ended up with somebody else? Stay tuned for ALTERNATE ENDINGS!)