Love Hina Fan Fiction ❯ Fallout ❯ Fallout: Keitaro's Mirror ( Chapter 7 )

Chapter 7

Keitaro's Mirror

 

 

“What have I done?” asked Keitaro. His wife dressed the following morning, pulling on various female things that require time and precision to adjust and fit. Despite being eight months pregnant she still had her rituals.

 

“You hurt people, Keitaro,” she answered simply.

 

“Was I always like this?” he asked, aghast. He didn't remember being like this years before.

 

“Always being what? Since you moved the Hinata Sou and became its manager? Or since you and Motoko slept together that first time and everything got crazy?” she said bitterly.

 

“I slept with her again. I can't control myself around her, Kitsune,” he said quietly. She grimaced.

 

“These are not things a pregnant woman wants to hear, Keitaro. I don't have super powers to punch you out of the building and it would be bad for the baby if I tried. You always used to think about the consequences of your actions. That's the Keitaro I fell in love with. Who are you now? A man-whore,” accused Kitsune.

 

“Kitsune, I'm sorry.”

 

“Don't be sorry. Change! Damn you Keitaro! Stop muddling through the world like nothing is your fault. You slept with all our friends, you gave them children, and now I'm surrounded by reminders of your infidelity everywhere I look.”

 

“Are you sorry you married me, Kitsune?” he asked very quietly.

 

“Sometimes. Like now. It will pass, just like it always does. Doubt exists in every relationship. And I'm a jealous woman thanks to Naru stealing every man I ever wanted, even you. You can't imagine what it's like, being abandoned like this, being betrayed.”

 

“You mean like cheating me out of rent all those times, pranks meant to hurt my honor with our friends, and … it doesn't matter does it? I did choose you,” he finally said.

 

“Did you?” she wept. “You still sleep with them.”

 

“What can we do? Leave? We tried that already. I have a responsibility. I can't run away from my life forever,” he admitted.

 

“When you cheat, it hurts me, Keitaro. Do you understand that?” explained Kitsune, staring directly into his eyes.

 

“They love me, Kitsune. What is the right thing to do? I've already taken so much from them, ruined them for marriage, gave them illegitimate children, caused them to be shunned by Japanese society, abandoned by their families in some cases. If I don't act like a husband for them, at least some of the time, I'm doing them a greater wrong.”

 

“And what about me!?” demanded Kitsune.

 

“I love you, Kitsune. I'm here with you. I come home to you. You are my partner in life. You are my Promise Girl. You are my wife,” he declared avidly, clenching his fists.

 

“So what are they?” she asked, weeping.

 

“I… I don't know.”

 

“Do you love them?” she asked.

 

“Yes. I'd be a terrible man if I didn't.”

 

“You are a terrible man, Keitaro. You hurt me every single time,” she reminded.

 

“What can I do?” he said, staring into the mirror at Kitsune's weeping face, blotchy with emotion, hands clutching her swollen belly.

 

“Make love to Naru, properly. Woo her, make love to her, make her glad that she knows you!” snarled Kitsune. “You have to fix this mess. Turn them, all of them, into whole people. Make them strong enough to exist on their own. Maybe then they won't come running every time they feel frightened of the world!”

 

“Uh… what?” said Keitaro confused. Kitsune grimaced as the baby kicked.

 

“It's the only way to end this properly. Start with Naru. She needs you most. And Mutsumi wants another child. You're going to have to give her one until she's satisfied. That's what's holding them all, running in place. This is your fault, and you have to fix it,” she declared.

 

“But, Kitsune… won't that hurt you?” he said, still confused.

 

“Yes. Terribly. But it will end when they stop needing you and can move on. You have to make them whole, Keitaro. Heal them and they'll move on, find a man for themselves, someone who will accept them as they are, children and all. It's the only way,” she insisted.

 

“But…” said Keitaro, guilty and confused, staring at his wife.

 

“I won't have a husband who looks at me with that face, Keitaro,” she glared. “You fix this right, you save them and make them whole or I'll divorce you, for my own sanity and the children if nothing else. Do you understand me?” she promised, eyes glowing with retribution if he failed. Keitaro had never seen her so angry or so serious.

 

“Hai, I swear to fix this or give up my claim on you, beloved Kitsune,” he swore, bowing formally. There was a subtle tingle in the room and the sound of electric arcs playing on every surface. The world seemed to throb for a moment and then all was normal, though he felt the weight of his promise now.

 

Kitsune wept. Keitaro backed away on his knees and closed the door, meeting Maya's all-knowing eyes as she knelt facing him in the hallway. He resisted the urge to be startled by her appearance. She'd always been like this.

 

“Now what should I do?” muttered Keitaro.

 

“Some will need your friendship. Some will need more. Some will suffer heartbreak,” said Maya in the Seer's Voice. “It cannot be helped. Face your pain, face theirs.”

 

“Hai, I will. Thank you, Maya-chan,” he said, bowing to his little girl. She returned the formal bow, showing the weight of years she did not possess.

 

 

 

 

After the acrimony of his marriage bed, the smoky air of Hinata on a cold morning was a refreshing change. It was time to think, to decide on a way to help his friends, his lovers, the mothers of many of his children… let go of him. How to help them do that? Kitsune said they weren't whole people and that was why they clung to him. Hurting them deliberately to drive them away would make them into people like Naru, broken by his rough treatment of her, twice. Once in his beratement and breakup with her during his recovery, and again in their terrible sex encounter. Kitsune wanted him to heal her. She wasn't the only one who needed it. He wanted to talk to someone wise, someone who understood people better than he did.

 

“But this is my problem, my fault. I can't be a man if I can't resolve this.”

 

There were few who could understand, much less sympathize with his predicament, or his effort to fix things humanely, with the respect and honor they deserve. Keitaro felt a tear fall down his cheek, touched it in shock.

 

“It all comes back to me, doesn't it?” he finally said. He found himself at the base of the steps to the Hinata Inn, turned to stare up at it, thinking. Nodding, he climbed the stairs.

 

“Keitaro?” said Kanako, surprised at him turning up as she raked the fall leaves on the front walk.

 

“Sister, I need your help. Do you have time?”

 

“Uhm, an hour or two, I guess. Its still early but I'm expecting guests this afternoon.” Kanako looked unsure of herself for the first time in years, frightened at the look in her brother's eyes.

 

“Fine. Let's go to the baths. I need you with me,” he demanded, feeling that cold part of himself rise. “Please, Kanako. This is hard for me.” The icy part retreated for the moment.

 

“Uhh… okay,” she said, dropping the rake and allowing herself to be lead into the changing room with her beloved brother, the man she'd been trying to bed and marry for years now. Be his. She was startled at his disrobing in front of her, and of his erection. She stopped, staring at it, and turned to regard his face, and the terrible look in his eyes.

 

“Oniichan, you're scaring me,” she whispered.

 

“Take off your clothes, Kanako. You wanted to be my wife, be my lover, have my child. Remember?” he taunted coldly, despising himself for betraying her trust.

 

“What… Kei-kun? What are you…?” she murmured, staring at him. He stared back.

 

“This is what you want right? To be with me this way? To have sex and get pregnant and have my child. Its all you've dreamed of for years, right?”

 

“I… I… what? Not… not like this… not…” she whispered.

 

“No?? Isn't this how you want it? To force yourself on me, to demand it? Is that love, Sister? Is that the kind of love you have for me?” he snarled.

 

There was a long pause as she stared at him, eyes wide, frightened. It was too much. His erection wilted and he dropped onto the bench. Kanako slowly sat opposite him, shaking. She took several deep breaths, tears falling before she wiped them away.

 

“I see. I'm that bad?” she said, understanding at last. She met his gaze finally.

 

“I didn't even touch you, like you do with me. It would have gotten worse if you hadn't understood. You're a beautiful and courageous woman, Kanako. I'm a married man who's very much in love.”

 

“Who do you love!? You love them. Don't I love you most?” she demanded, rebellious.

 

“Who do you love, Kanako? A boy who treated you kindly 15 years ago? Or the man I am now, one who hurts women and has a dozen illegitimate children? A home wrecker. Is that who you love?” he asked, pained at his own failure.

 

“I'm sorry Keitaro. I'm sorry!” she cried quietly.

 

“I'm sorry too, Kanako. Please don't hate me,” he begged. They leaned into each other and held close, sniffling and crying, Keitaro naked, Kanako halfway there.

 

“I used to be a good person,” he whined. “I used to always do my best, and take care of my friends like family. Now they are family and I'm not doing everything I can for them. I want to though. I need help to be a better man. Can you help me, Sister?” he asked.

 

“I don't know. I can try, oniichan,” she burbled.

 

“Then that's all I can ask,” he said. They held each other a while longer. The while turned distracting in an unpleasant and non-sexual way.

 

“We both need a bath,” sniffed Keitaro.

 

“Yes, we do,” agreed Kanako. “Let me wash your back?”

 

“Sure, Sister. I'll wash yours too.”

 

 

 

Mutsumi found the siblings sitting in the baths, his arm around her sometime later, quietly reminiscing. She pondered the meaning of this scene and wondered if the inevitable had happened after all.

 

“I'd feel better about you if you found someone in your life, Kanako,” said Keitaro.

 

Mutsumi gasped from the changing room. So it wasn't? How very interesting, she thought.

 

“I don't feel ready for that. You've been the center of my universe for so long, Oniichan. It's going to be hard for me to find someone I can love, and trust,” she admitted.

 

“True. You're unusual. You'll have to decide for yourself what kind of man would satisfy you, and learn to trust him. No self defeating identity games.”

 

“Yes, it would be tempting to test him. Are my standards too high?” she asked, resting her head on his shoulder. Keitaro watched Mutsumi scrub herself and rinse, her luscious form arousing him. Must focus on Kanako. She needs me now, he reminded himself.

 

“Possibly. Have you ever considered a relationship with someone other than me? I'm not perfect and neither is anyone else. Can you accept flaws?” he asked carefully.

 

“I suppose I will have to,” she sighed.

 

“You might talk to Haruka, as she could have some suggestions on what to look for,” he offered. She tensed and pulled away.

 

“Or I can try and help, for what it's worth,” he finished. She relaxed again. Mutsumi wriggled into the bath and sighed happily. Kanako tensed again.

 

“You're not competitors, Sister,” reminded Keitaro. Kanako sighed in defeat.

 

“This is going to take some adjustment, isn't it?” asked the young woman. Keitaro patted her on the head cheerfully.

 

“Sure is!” he teased.

 

Mutsumi simply observed, wondering just what had happened to change the way they treated each other. She kept asking herself if it was sexual or not, but something in the relationship was different.

 

 

After a time, Kanako excused herself and left the baths. Keitaro turned his attention to his friend and lover, Mutsumi. He gestured to her and she rose and sat beside him in the springs.

 

“Good morning, Keitaro. Have you considered my request?” she asked.

 

“Yes. I've been tasked with finding a way to heal and free each of you, or suffer dire consequences,” he sighed, leaning back in the bath.

 

“Kitsune threatened to leave you?” she said, guessing. Keitaro raised an eyebrow at her candor.

 

“You're very good at this. Maybe I should get you to help me.”

 

“Do you even need help? You seem to have cured your sister. I worry just how. Will there be another little Keitaro running around?” she asked, half teasing. His face answered that.

 

“No, thankfully. My sister is a wonderful girl and I wish her all the best. I think we'll be able to see each other more now that she understands and accepts my feelings for what they are.”

 

“One down? Is that the way you see it?” she asked quietly, disappointed.

 

“No! Kami, I hope not. I love each of you, very much. Its just I need to fix what I've done.”

 

“What if we don't want to be fixed?” asked Mutsumi, a tear in her eye.

 

“Mutsumi?” he asked, surprised to see tears on his oldest friend. Mutsumi never cried. He turned and held her close.

 

“I never asked for very much, Kei-kun,” she blubbered. “Maybe that was a mistake. I could have pushed for you, stayed until the end. Made you choose me instead of Kitsune.” Keitaro held her, realizing that this was time to act, if only he knew what to do. I used to be a nice person, a generous and kind person. Am I still that man? He wondered disconsolately.

 

“I'm so sorry, Mutsumi. What we did years ago felt so great I never stopped to think about what would happen afterward. I'm only one man. I can't marry all of you, or be there for all of you. I had to choose someone, and Kitsune needed me most and had the strength and character to deal with me. You are sweet and generous and so sexy I find myself breathless around you sometimes. I want to be there for our son.”

 

“And me? What about me, Keitaro?” asked Mutsumi, her eyes swollen and red, face wet with tears smeared on his chest. Keitaro stroked her back.

 

“What can I do, Mutsumi? Is it even possible to make Kitsune see her jealousy threatens our marriage? I love her. I love you. I love the other girls too. It isn't fair. If you gained enough independence to stop needing me, and married someone who could love you, it would resolve things. That's what she's asked me to do.”

 

“Find us husbands?” exclaimed Mutsumi. “I should give her a piece of my mind.”

 

“No! Make you able to find a husband, to want one. To be ready for one. One who isn't me,” he finished.

 

“I see. She wants to drive us away,” said Mutsumi, slumping in defeat. “I never realized just how jealous she is.”

 

“Some of this is Naru's fault. She gave up so much for her sake. Just like you did. You're different, though. You're willing to share. That's very unusual.”

 

“I'm not as generous as I tell myself. And I have regrets for my generosity,” she said.

 

“Would you marry someone if I refused to sleep with you, Mutsumi?” asked Keitaro, holding her in his arms.

 

“You would be so cruel?” she asked, disappointment in her eyes.

 

“No. I can't be so cruel. I want to know if you could love someone else like you've loved me,” he said, reflecting her grief with his own.

 

“I've never loved anyone but you, Keitaro. It isn't fair to ask this of me,” she murmured into his chest, weeping.

 

“I'm sorry.”

 

Keitaro knew that wasn't an answer, but she was thinking about it, at least. He supposed that was the best he could ask for at this time. He waited for the sniffles to die down, gave her a parting hug, then exited the baths before he lost his nerve. It was hard to walk away, leaving her like that. Very hard. Would he be able to do the same with Motoko, Shinobu, or Su? Was this going to hurt them even more? Was pleasing his wife more important than the feelings of his dearest friends? Such questions troubled him greatly and the initial success with Kanako was tempered by his failure with Mutsumi.