Macross Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction / Slayers Fan Fiction ❯ The Legend of Macross (which has nothing to do with Macross, really) ❯ Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4: POTENTIALLY DANGEROUS BOYBANDS inc.

Deep in the bowels of the Universe, past the rock that looks like a large head, and past the mountains of nasal medicine that burn, there existed a powerful corporation.

A powerful corporation that manufactured the Ghost wing, which was designed to out flaw the YF21 and the Yf19 and generally be known as the better of the three ships.

A powerful organisation that also majored in producing life-like holographic images of one's self, to such an extent that nobody could tell the difference between the real and the fake.

Except for one man, another powerful man that had a powerful corporation of his own where he made flashy cars and ruled the constellations. He had always been their eternal rival since the day he'd been born.

On another note; to say the least; his birthplace hadn't been all that great, with a few dark generals here and there that had shook in their tacky snakeskin boots when they'd seen him for the first time and known that he would be better. It was also the throne room of an odorous woman that used 14 cans of hair spray to shape her hair into the very frizz that was Beryl, who NEVER, even for a fleeting moment, left her throne. He'd always suspected she'd been born attached to that thing. He despised it.

Some say, on quiet nights, if you listened hard enough, you could hear the faint sound of the Queen and a good friend of hers, Freiza, tearing around in the chairs they never left.

But we're getting off track.

This man, whose name was Neflight, had been the PDB's eternal enemy since he was born.

He could make holographic images himself, it was used when he would hang in his abandoned mansion in the woods and plotted to rid humans of their energy. So, when the evil corporation of the PDB in deep space decided to start making them to generally annoy people and piss the Government off, he easily defied them.

How, you ask?

Well, Neflight discovered that his floating holograms were much stronger than theirs and broke into their main control system and destroyed every single one of them.

Eventually people and fans back on earth started to notice the strange occurrence of the holograms breaking apart in the middle of concerts and started the hate the PDB

This angered the Kings of potentially dangerous boy bands anonymous.

And up until this point they'd been plotting to kill Neflight.

But, they'd discovered something very strange…

It was a dark and stormy night, and a powerful force was moving towards where ever it felt the need to move towards, which was most assuredly the sun for reasons unknown.

The powerful force was, in fact, a huge and flashy looking spaceship, a huge PINK flashy looking spaceship that must had cost millions of dollars, IF they were wasting money properly.

And, it belonged to the head of `PDB Inc' The almighty Backstreet boys.

A lone camera followed the first of the boys who was walking past a sort of dungeon with a riding crop in one hand. A sparkly pink nametag on his crisp white dress shirt read; BRIAN.

Yes, Brian had the important task of making sure the bad members of `P.D.B.B.A' got what the deserved.

He lashed out violently at a cage with a flashing sign reading; THE MOFFATS.warning, do not feed!!

The boys huddled together and cringed.

"HA!" Brain yelled through the bars at them, cracking the whip, "THOUGHT YOU'D GET AWAY WITH PUBLIC HEARING ABUSE EH?"

They said nothing, and in return for their silence, were left alone.

The camera followed the boys into a large room where they sat and monitored the radar screen.

"Hey!" Howie called from his reclining chair, which was made of real leather to make everyone aware that he was very wealthy.

"What?" asked A.J, coming over beside him.

"Look at that!" Howie cried.

"Is that…?" A.J whispered, his voice trailing off.

"Yes. It's Earth."

"No you dipshit!" A.J cursed, "I mean that huge thing nearing a village in Anime Land!"

"Oh. The Mech?"

"Well yeah!"

"I thought you were referring to the Earth!"

"What the hell's so significant about that chunk of soil?"

"Um…I was hoping you'd tell me…"

"Sigh…"

There was another sinister silence.

"Is that the Macross Mech?" A.J asked after some time.

"I think" Howie replied, a look of utter stupidity crossing his face.

"You call me over here during coffee break while I was picking up some hot babe, all to show me the EARTH?"

"Hot babe? A.J, we're on a ship with five guys."

"But…"

"Martha the cleaning Robot doesn't count, you know."

"Any ways…" A.J said quickly, eager to change the subject, "What do you suppose it's doing down there?"

"Whatever it wants to, I guess." Howie replied. "I'll do a quick scan."

Howie clicked on the small black button and a reading came up on the screen. A.J pulled out a scouter and clicked it on, just to show how very special he was.

"Where'd you get that?" Howie asked him.

"Found it planet hunting…oh, what was that name again…Vegetasei?"

"Good thing we have a lot of money, eh?"

"Get on with it."

"It says here that…oh my…it appears…Marvin wont be around much longer."

"Why do you say that?"

"He's been stuffed up the Mech's left nostril." Howie explained, clicking a few buttons and homing in on the radar screen.

"I see." A.J breathed.

"Poor, unfortunate soul." Howie said sadly, feeling like he wanted to spontaneously burst into song.

"I thought Macross would've had enough by now." A.J remarked.

"I bet that loser Neplight would know about this." Howie said.

"You think?"

"It's worth a try."

From behind them, Kevin appeared, cell phone in hand.

"Allow me."

Neither Howie nor A.J said anything. Apparently he liked showing up from seemingly nowhere.

Kevin dialed the number and waited. Finally somebody answered.

"Yeah?" said a hissing, evil kind of voice.

"Neflight?"

"What?"

"This is Kevin. And Howie, and A.J."

"Oh wow! Let's have another chorus of the happy days are here again!"

"Shut up. Have you been watching Earth by any chance?"

"No."

"Well. Then I have no further need to pay you any mind, do I?"

"You called, not me."

Kevin growled. The moron was always ready with some snappy comeback.

"Then…just you wait till I come back to life!!!!" he screamed into the receiver.

A.J and Howie facefaulted.

"Um…what was that all about?"

Kevin made a happy grin.

"Nothing you need to worry your pretty little heads about!" he said with a severely annoying little squeaky voice.

Both the BSB turned away from him and left him on his own to discover the true meaning of `being lonely' and how absolutely `not fun' it is.

A.J turned and walked quietly down the corridor, stopping for a second to get some coffee. Brian was sitting in a tie dye beanbag chair holding a stuffed Pikachu in one hand and a Nintendo controller in the other. My good friend Elizabeth, who seems to think Jerry Springer is an escaped convict from the circus who is in truth named Jenny, has informed me that usually Nick Carter would be the one to be playing Nintendo…but he is, unfortunately, away on `business' affairs.

A.J sighed, adjusted his shades, and turned to the camera.

"You know…This isn't healthy. It was never in my contract to be inserted into a horribly deranged Fanfic where our band is portrayed as evil abusive villains. I never wanted this. All I ever wanted was…" he paused with a sniffle, "A tickle-Me-Elmo. But did I get it? NO! Santa obviously won't give me a second chance now that he's seen what I'm doing on my spare time…it's not fair…sniff…"

He shuffled away mumbling and sniffling. Brian triumphantly yelled something about an abnormally large K.O and ignored his friend for the time being. Sooner or later he would get `the feeling of impending doom'

Stan was sitting in the middle of the village he had recently destroyed. Smoke and screaming people surrounded him. He sighed. It was everything Marvin had said it was. Boring as hell.

Although, oblivious to him, he'd just saved the village from the impending doom of the weekly visits of annoying IRS guys.

So he was indeed, very lucky.