Magic Knight Rayearth Fan Fiction ❯ In Dreams ❯ Loving ( Chapter 4 )

First off, thanks to everyone who reviewed my story. Can't tell you how much I appreciate it. ^_^

And finally! It's finished! I cannot TELL you what a heck of a time I had trying to get this chapter to end. At first I was gonna have the other knights in it and maybe some of the other characters, too, but then I decided that no, it should just focus on Umi and Clef, because it didn't seem to be working out the other way so I had to go and delete half the chapter and rewrite it and…oy vey. Well, I managed to come up with what I hope is a suitable ending for this story, anyway.

Again, the sap overflows in this chapter…try not to get stuck in any of it. ^^;

Disclaimers: Don't own Magic Knights. Don't own Clef, either. CLAMP does. Lucky CLAMP.

Part Four

Loving

Clef strode purposefully toward Umi's chambers, determined to settle things between them once and for all. After taking a potion to settle his head and stomach, and freshening his tired, aching body with a warm bath, he felt almost like himself again…except for the slight, nagging worry in the back of his mind that he wouldn't be able to repair things with Umi. What if he had finally pushed her too far, and she had decided to give up on him? What if she turned elsewhere to seek an end to the loneliness he'd glimpsed in her expressive eyes? Umi was not unattractive. Frankly speaking, he found her to be the most beautiful, fascinating young woman that he'd ever had the privilege of meeting. Even though he'd at first found her to be more than a little overbearing, he couldn't help but be drawn to the gentle soul that resided within her lovely body. He now knew she was far more than what she appeared to be, and even the thought of anybody else-such as Ascot, for example, whom he knew to be in love with her-discovering for himself just how beautiful she was, was enough to send him spiraling into jealous resentment. Umi was his, and nobody but he would ever lay claim to her!

Clef paused in his tracks as he abruptly realized that his aura was sparking and flaring with agitation, his magic rising within him, waiting to be unleashed in battle, and he fought to calm himself before continuing on. His smile was grim and filled with ironic humor as he realized just how possessive he'd become over a woman who wasn't even his. Surely if Umi realized the intensity of the thoughts directed at her, she'd run screaming for the hills.

Before anything else, he needed to apologize to her for being such a callous brute and hurting her. He'd never meant to make her feel unwanted, or that he didn't trust her to speak with her of his problems, even if they involved her. Perhaps he was taking a risk-although he was no longer certain that was the case-but he knew he needed to tell her the truth. He'd admit that he loved her more than he'd ever allowed himself to love anyone, and he wanted nothing more than to live out the rest of his long existence with her by his side, and this time, he'd be damned if he let his pride get in the way of what he wanted. Perhaps Umi would reject him, but after what had happened between them, he found that he was willing to take the risk. At the very least, he would finally be able to bring closure to his feelings, even if the outcome wasn't what he hoped for.

Upon reaching her chambers, he hesitated and drew in a deep, calming breath-it was rarely ever that he felt quite this flustered-then reached up to politely tap on the door.

There was no answer from within, and the door remained firmly shut. Turning the handle slowly, he was gratified to find it unlocked, and he peered through the doorway cautiously and looked around.

The room was empty.

His pale brows drawing together, he closed the door again and leaned against it thoughtfully, wondering if perhaps she'd gone to breakfast. Closing his eyes, he reached out with his senses, seeking the touch of her aura. She wasn't in the dining hall with their friends, nor the inner Garden. In fact, she wasn't in the castle at all, he realized. He felt her aura in the grounds outside the castle, a light, delicate touch like the foam off an ocean wave, slightly darkened by sorrow and regret. His heart ached to feel her pain, and he unconsciously reached to wrap his aura around hers, trying to soothe the sadness from her heart, to comfort and reassure her that everything would be alright.

~~~{~@ ~~~{~@ ~~~{~@

She sat beneath the sprawling branches of a tree in one of the outer gardens, enjoying the feel of sunlight dappling her face as the long grass tickled her legs with light, cool fingers. It was spring in Cephiro again, the black sky and shattered landscape having vanished with the discovery of the new Pillar and the sequential events that had followed it. With Hikaru's wish that Cephiro be a country ruled by the hearts of the people, rather than the heart of the Pillar, the devastated land had begun to mend itself at an astonishing rate. As the country regained its former glory, the hearts of the people became filled with more hope and joy, thus helping to restore the natural beauty even more swiftly, rather like a domino effect, in reverse. There were those who doubted, who feared the possible repercussions of ending a system that had been a part of their world since time began, but they were few compared to the many who rejoiced at having finally regained their peace, and their hearts were weak, anyway, so they had little effect on the changes. What few monsters that may have been spawned by their dark thoughts were quickly and efficiently eliminated by Lafarga and Lantis, with nobody being the wiser. Things were definitely well in hand in regards to Cephiro's future.

It wouldn't be very long, Umi realized with a pang of sadness, before the Magic Knights would no longer be needed. She knew very well that they would eventually have to return to their own world, and possibly never see Cephiro or their friends again. Clef had reassured them that because of their bond with the land and the three rune gods that protected it, they would probably be able to come back again. Even above that, Hikaru's love for Lantis and Fuu's love for Ferio would most certainly aid in their determination to return. But Umi knew that they were both afraid to risk it just yet, and so was she. She could understand perfectly how her friends felt.

She didn't even have a lover to return to, but she knew that the thought of leaving Clef, even if he didn't love her, was enough to scare her senseless. If she was never able to return to Cephiro, and was never able to speak to Clef again, to see him smiling at her with such gentle warmth, she thought her heart would break. She knew she'd rather never see her family again than risk losing Clef forever. All she wanted was to be by his side, and yet she was such a coward that she couldn't even admit that to him, she realized with disgust. She'd accused Clef of not trusting her with his problems, but really, was she any better? She couldn't bring herself to outright tell him how she really felt, either. She couldn't swallow her fear or her pride long enough to admit that she wanted to be more than a pupil or even a friend to him, even if she faced rejection. She didn't have any right to spout accusations at him when the fingers could point right back at her.

Umi sighed heavily. It seemed like she would need to apologize to him again. For prying into affairs that were none of her concern, for saying harsh things that she knew probably weren't true, for making a general nuisance of herself. He wouldn't hold any of it against her-he never did-but it was still embarrassing to have to go crawling back with her tail between her legs, like a disobedient puppy. No wonder he couldn't see her as a woman…

She lowered her head and closed her eyes, swallowing around the lump in her throat, trying to hold back the regret and failing miserably. Maybe she should just go back to Tokyo, forget she'd ever been to a country called Cephiro or fallen in love with a hot-tempered little man who happened to hold more power in his little finger than most of the other magic-users in the world, combined. It would certainly make both of their lives easier. But…it would make her life seem so much emptier, without him in it.

She was drawn out of her ping-ponging thoughts by a sudden, familiar sensation, as of an indistinct presence surrounding her, wrapping her in warmth, as though a pair of ethereal arms were embracing her kindly. She found herself relaxing, recognizing the touch of Clef's aura. She could feel his magical presence wrapping around her, soothing and gentle, reassuring, and tears squeezed out from her closed eyes as she realized he was trying to comfort her, to show her that he cared. "Clef," she whispered, smiling softly despite her tears. Why did he always do that, comfort her even when she didn't deserve it? Even when he was the one who needed comforting? It was so selfless of him. It only served to make her love him more.

And then she felt a gentle touch against her face, as of a soft hand trailing caressingly over her cheek, brushing stray tears away. Her eyes snapped open and she found herself staring into Clef's concerned gaze, mere inches from hers. It was disconcerting to be looking up at him for once from her seated position on the grass, with him bending slightly over her to bring his face closer, and as his breath drifted softly across her face, she couldn't keep the heat from flooding her cheeks at his close proximity. They gazed at each other silently for a moment, before Umi screwed up her courage to blurt out, "I'm sorry!"

He seemed startled at the outburst, and she hastened to clarify, "F-for yelling at you earlier. I wasn't very nice, and I didn't mean any of it and…and I just didn't have the right to accuse you like that. I'm sorry that I tried to pry into your private business. Y-you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to. I respect that. And…and I…"

She was abruptly silenced by a thumb pressing gently against her lips, in a gesture intimately similar to one she'd experienced the night before. The color in her cheeks darkened, but her embarrassment was forgotten a moment later when Clef graced her with a loving smile and replied softly, "I'm sorry, as well." Seeing her uncertainty, he added, "For allowing you to feel that you needed to scold me in the first place, and for making you feel as though you are unimportant to me."

She turned her gaze away awkwardly, suddenly feeling extremely shy…which Clef found to be rather fascinating-and adorable-because Umi was not one to be shy about anything, being the blunt, outspoken person that she was. If anything, her reaction gave him encouragement. She didn't appear to be put off by his words, at least. It was enough to urge him to continue. "The truth is, you are important to me. Very much so," he added, nudging her chin gently until she looked back at him. "I never meant to make light of your concern for my well-being. I am truly touched that you care so much about me. And…" He hesitated, and then continued, "And I hope that…perhaps…if you are still willing…you might help me with my problem, after all."

Her gaze sharpened with interest, as she hesitantly replied, "I'd like to if I can. What should I do?"

He drew in a breath and released it slowly. There would be no turning back after this, he realized. Once he admitted everything to her, nothing would be the same between them. But he knew he could no longer hide the feelings he held for the girl sitting before him. Even if she didn't return them, he had to tell her or he'd only end up hurting them both. What delicate friendship they shared would soon enough crumble to nothing, and that prospect was worse than facing her rejection.

Taking her face between his small hands, he drew his thumbs softly over her warm cheeks in an effort to ease her discomfort, and smiled at her gently as he gazed into her eyes, his own glowing with the emotions he'd held suppressed for so long. "I don't ask for much," he murmured, his husky voice low and warm. "I request nothing of you that you aren't willing to give me. Even if you can't return it, I ask only that…that you allow me to love you, Umi."

He heard her sharp intake of breath, felt the way her face instantly heated beneath his palms, and when she released his name on a silent breath of air, staring at him through wide, startled, hopeful eyes, he couldn't stop himself from dipping his head those few inches to softly envelop her lips with his own, trying to show her once and for all just how much she meant to him.

It was all he could do to finally ease that heavenly kiss, her trembling figure held securely in his embrace, her arms wrapped around his waist and clinging for dear life. She stared at him in silent wonder for several moments before lowering her head to rest against his collarbone, and he smiled and closed his eyes, nuzzling his face into her hair as one hand caressed through the silken mane soothingly. "Have I presumed too much?" he questioned softly, his breath tickling her ear. She shivered a little and after a moment shook her head. He gave an inner sigh of relief. "Umi…do you remember what I told you last night?" he questioned.

She froze. "…D-do you?" she asked in return, lifting her head to eye him warily. She looked nervous; it occurred to him that she'd rather he didn't remember, but how could he forget? The memory of her taste, hazy though it was, nevertheless was seared into his mind.

His gaze softened. "I told you that you were my Umi," he reminded her gently.

She worried a lip before nodding once. "You did," she agreed quietly.

"I meant it," he replied seriously. He took her hand and pressed it to his chest, allowing her to feel his heart thudding strongly beneath her palm. "In my heart, you are mine," he continued. "There will never be anyone else. Even if you cannot return my feelings, it won't change the fact that I love you."

She seemed to hold her breath as she gazed at him, not quite believing his words. "E-even though I'm…loud and stubborn a-and disrespectful and nosy and…" He silenced her with a touch to her lips, his eyes crinkling with humor as he smiled at her. "Even though," he assured her, "or perhaps because of. I admit that nobody has ever challenged my patience or my temper quite as much as you do, but that is what makes you who you are. You intrigue me to no end, and I wish to know everything there is to know about you."

His gaze deepened then, those large, bright, enigmatic eyes darkening to the same rich sapphire she'd discovered the night before, only this time they weren't dazed with spirits, but alert and clear and very, very compelling. "Everything about you," he repeated fervently, his voice barely a murmur, and the obvious suggestion in his tone sent a trembling thrill down her spine. She had no doubt in her mind what he'd meant by those words, and she found herself sharing the sentiment even as she marveled that it was Clef of all people who was hinting at such things. She'd always thought him to be reserved and aloof to the point of being apathetic; now she realized there was a part of his personality that she'd never dreamed existed, a side of himself which he revealed only to his beloved. Only to her.

The memories of his heated kisses, of his mouth sucking at her breast, his hands trailing exquisite fire across her flesh, made her feel slightly light-headed, and she suppressed a shiver and tried to ignore the strange melting she once again felt in the pit of her stomach. Although she was certain that he realized what she was thinking of, if the mischievous light in his eye was any indication.

If the goings-on of the night before were merely a sample of what he had to offer her…

She quickly squashed the thought before he could read it in her eyes and glanced away as a small, nervous, eager smile touched her lips.

"Can you do this, my Umi?" Clef was asking softly, trying to meet her embarrassed gaze. "Will you allow this old man to love you?"

She nodded, a quick jerk of her head. "B-but only if…you let me love you back," she replied, almost inaudibly. "I…want to know about you, as well. As much as you're willing to tell me, or…or show me…I want to know."

Clef's expression could only be described as elated as he drew her into his arms again, resting his forehead against her own. "I believe that small request can be granted," he replied teasingly, and was rewarded with another smile, one that made his chest tighten and his mind begin to conjure some rather inappropriate thoughts for their current surroundings. Thoughts such as doing exactly what she requested, and taking her some place secluded and showing her everything about him that there was to see and discovering everything about her that there was to love…

So, of course, that's exactly what he did.

And if the abrupt and rather lengthy disappearance of a certain Water Knight and a certain Madoshi caused suspicions to arise by certain highly curious and rather nosy friends, which would no doubt lead to serious questioning by those selfsame friends later on…well…they were both rather too distracted in the discovering of each other to have any concern about that.

The End

Anyone need a toothbrush? Or maybe a trip to the dentist. All that sugar is bound to give people cavities…

Maybe a lemon addition. Maybe not. But you won't find it on ff.net anyway.