DISCLAIMER: I don't own MKR, CLAMP does. Am just one crazy fan. And all of these stuff I had written or will write is a product of my imagination and my imagination only....Yada...yada...Don't sue me.

THOUGHTS OF HATE AND LOVE

By: Heart

His POV:

I will not let you see me like this! I'd rather stay in this room the whole day and starve myself to death but you will not see me like this! I will not let you see the spell that my subconscious mind had cast on my own body that I, the master mage of Sefiro, could not break. I will not let you see the result of my raging emotions triggered by your presence. If I had to stay in this room all by myself for the whole day I don't care! I wouldn't care if I had to stay for weeks…or months even. I will not let you see the new me!

Of course I know what caused this change in me. I am the master mage of Sefiro after all. I know what had happened…I have seen it before to that youth who also fell in love with you…but I had never expected that it would happen to me. He willed it to happen to him…but I did not ask for this!

I did not ask for this body! If I had I would have not kept the body of a child that I had been accustomed to for years. And yet here I am---sitting on my private desk in the library…hiding from you because of…of this!

Yes it is better I stay here. Maybe I can find the cure somewhere from these books. At least here I am safe from you. From you and from those emotions you make me feel---Those emotions that I cannot control. Those emotions that made me into this…man! This man I do not know!

My God! There you are shouting down the corridor again! Can't you see that I need silence now more than ever? I'm having a huge crisis in my hands! I need to think! I need my silence---What the---! What was that noise?

Congratulations, you have done it again and I've had it! I've had enough of you and your noisy chase of that fluffy animal…I've had enough and I am going to tell you not to pass by this corridor again. I don't care if you call me a grumpy old man because of what I am going to tell you as long as you give me my peace!

Her POV:

I was getting worried. They said you haven't left that room since you entered it early this morning. You haven't even gone out to eat with us. Good thing that one chubby creature had decided to be helpful. It wasn't long until it came down your corridor, me following it shouting and swearing…

The creature was actually helpful enough to stand on your door and lure me into bumping into it, my body crashing on the solid wood in front of me while the animal easily got out of my way. Well…I guess that noise is enough to get you out of there.

I heard you shout at the top of your lungs, demanding peace and quiet. Yes, that was your voice all right…I can hear you open the door…at last I will get to see you again! I look at the door with anticipation. What I saw was definitely not I had expected…

There in front of me stood the most beautiful male I have ever seen---scowling at me. Light blue eyes met my own. The same light blue eyes you have…

It was not until you spoke that I finally recognized that the one before me is you. You asked me why I am staring at you. You asked me, in an irritated manner, if I had never seen a male youth before. I instead, foolishly bit my lower lip as a response and whisked unruly lavender hair away from your face. You seemed to have cringed away from my touch…Yet my hand never left your cheeks.

It was then that I realized how tall you were. Six feet perhaps…or a few inches more… The childish look on your face is gone…Your body will never be mistaken to be of a young child ever again…Is this why you chose to hide away from us? Is this why you chose to hide away from me? I smiled at you…

His POV:

You smiled at me…something I had never expected. Neither have I expected it when you whisked my hair away from my face…nor have I expected you touching my cheeks. Why are you touching me like this? Why aren't you laughing at me like I had thought you would do when you see the new me? If I hadn't known better…I'd say, you're looking mesmerized. But do I really know better?

I'm getting confused again…your presence always does that to me. It took me quite some time and a great amount of willpower to tell you to chase that creature somewhere else. Somehow it didn't sound the same as I had planned it should be. I didn't sound angry…I sounded…unsure? Unsure and nervous…Yes that was how I sounded. Worst of all, my voice ended up too deep…and well…at the same time…to soft. There wasn't any anger there at all. I tried again…only to be distracted by the way you nervously licked your lips. I ended up letting out something like a croak instead, followed by a quick cough.

If you continue staring at me like that I think I am going to end up on the floor. You see, I feel like my stomach is doing somersaults and my heart is beating too fast. Not to mention that my knees are getting weak and…I need to get a grip on myself. Please don't smile anymore.

Her POV:

If you are looking like this it just only mean that you---Yes, that's it! I finally realized it! I finally found the reason why you had been avoiding me…why you seem to be irritated at my presence…why you are actually looking like this.

I smiled at you again and boldly caressed your cheeks. I watched how you tensed against my touch. Yes…I know now what is wrong with you. It's the same as what had happened to him, isn't it? You love me don't you? You stared at me with surprise at that questions I dared say out loud. You didn't answer; instead you tore your gaze away from me. Quickly I held your arm tight, before you even try turning your back on me.

His POV:

You asked me if I wanted to hear what you want to say. I answered I'd rather not. I'd rather not because I don't want to hear you say you are sorry. I do not want to listen as you babble about our differences. I have had enough of that. My pride had already repeated all that to me over and over. I do not want to look at your sorrowful smile, fidgeting and trying to choose your words to make it less hurtful. I don't need all of that.

You have seen my weakness; you do not have to rub it in. So I love you…You are a genius! You had finally figured it all out. Now if you'll excuse me I would go back to the company of my old books…where I belong.

But still you held me back. This time I pleaded with my eyes. Please, let me go. You told me you cannot. Have you no mercy at all?

No, you said, flashing a determined look in your eyes. And then you told me…those three words I had not been expecting to hear from you. Wishing, yes, but never expecting. My eyes widened with wonder…No, I must be dreaming. I must be…How else would I hear you tell me you love me?

It was when your lips touched mine that I realized that this wasn't a dream after all. It was a moment when nothing else mattered, but you and me. It was that moment, that I am not the master mage, nor you are a girl from another world. It was that moment that I am just a man and you are just a woman…not more not less.

And then you said you came back for me. And you will remain for me. And that we deserve each other.

~(^_^)~

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Yatta!!!! I've finished it at last! Hope this is ok.