Mirage Of Blaze Fan Fiction / Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Chasing Twilight ❯ Chapter One: Tears of Love ( Chapter 1 )

Chasing Twilight

by: Banshee Puppet

Chapter One: Tears of Love

If you were to ask me how long I have loved you, I would have to tell you, four-hundred years, since the day I was born, and long before we ever met. But if what you really were curious about was how long I've known, then it was that day when I held you in my arms, and you cried. That is the moment that I realized I was jealous of him, the one who had your heart. ~Chiaki~

The final bell had just rung and Saori was trying to pull Yuzuru along to go get ice cream with her before she had to go to work.

"Come on Yuzuru! It's so nice out and you promised!" she said. Yuzuru just looked over his shoulder at the desk in the corner. Takaya's desk, and sighed. "Yeah, okay, let's go," he said. "Chiaki, do you want to come?" he offered as the bespectacled young man passed by the doorway.

Chiaki looked into the classroom, his gaze lingering on the empty desk a moment as well before his eyes flicked up to Yuzuru, and Saori hanging on his arm. He had to give the girl credit. She was trying to cheer him up, even if it wasn't working.

"And ruin you date?" he asked sarcastically. "I think not."

Saori blushed and protested. It wasn't a date! They were just going to get ice cream.

"Chiaki! Stop twisting things around. Come, please?" Yuzuru asked, oblivious to the girl's feelings. Of course he was oblivious. Yuzuru couldn't see anyone but Takaya, never had been able to.

"I'll catch up in a minute, alright?" he offered, too weary to argue. Yuzuru's sorrow, for some unknown reason, really drained him. It was like he'd lost all of his energy. Yuzuru and Saori, they'd mistaken it for meaning that he missed Takaya too. He did, but...it wasn't the same.

Kagetora. He was Kagetora, so of course Chiaki was concerned, but...

He sighed and slunk into Takaya's chair, cold from lack of use and stared out the window at Saori dragging Yuzuru along down below. He was surprised when Yuzuru looked up over his shoulder at him and smiled softly, mouthing the word 'come' once again. He gave a curt nod in return and held up a finger to imply, 'in a minute.'

He turned away from the window, ran his fingers over the polished wood. 'Takaya, I know you probably have a lot to think about, but please come back soon. Yuzuru is worried about you. And the only person...the only person who can bring him any happiness is you. Don't you know that, you idiot? Didn't you swear you'd always protect him?' He stood and picked up his books. "Well, don't stress out too much, Takaya. I'll look over him while you're away. Just ... come back. Please come back. I don't like seeing him this way."

He quietly closed the classroom door behind him. It was amazing how quickly a school could clear out after the final bell. Even the courtyard was practically empty. He took his time making it to the ice cream stand.

~**~

Takaya stood on the docks. He kept returning there for some reason, unable to go anywhere else yet, totally unable to move beyond that moment. The moment before Naoe left him standing there, confused.

"My friend, I love you." Naoe had said.

Takaya had, at that time, he'd called for him, but Naoe didn't turn again, and Takaya was forced to watch the man's retreating back, to watch those broad shoulders walking away from him. Even now, his heart clenched and forced a shiver down his spine.

"If I become Kagetora completely, will it give me the right to think of him?" he wondered aloud again. He'd said the same thing to himself then, as he heard Naoe's car pulling away from him.

"If I become Kagetora completely..." he trailed off. "Naoe you bastard! That's not the sort of thing you say and then just disappear!" he hollered at the evening air. "I feel so confused when you aren't here. Restless. And I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing. If I become Kagetora though...shit. What am I supposed to do? I still don't know who I am..."

A voice floats through his mind 'you are you.' "Yuzuru," he sighed. "If I become Kagetora completely, will I still be able to protect you?" he wondered.

Takaya sat down on the docks again with a heavy sigh. "I just need some more time. A bit more time, like this, where I can be alone. But I... ...Naoe..."

~**~

"...Naoe...you bastard."

"Crawfish? Hey, Crawfish!" Schuldich decided to start talking to him aloud since his snide telepathic comments were hitting nothing but air. He knew from the slightly furrowed brow that Crawford was having a vision, but he also happened to be cooking breakfast.

Nagi yelped slightly and splashed his elder with what remained of his glass of water, using his powers to turn off the stove as well.

Crawford blinked. Then he blinked again. Then, he pinched the bridge of his nose. Nagi took an instinctive step back. "Nagi, why am I soaking wet?" he asked suddenly.

In a small voice the boy said, "well, you see, you were on fire. I uhm...put you out."

Crawford noticed his charred sleeve and sighed. "I see. Finish breakfast. I'm going to change."

His mind was reeling. What the hell were these visions about, anyway? He felt like he was spying on someone's love life. But the name, Naoe. There had to be something more going on here. Something...

Something that he couldn't figure out, and it was driving him nuts. He had a feeling though, that Kosaka, that punk, would be the key to figuring it all out. He'd have no choice but to confront him the next time he encountered the man.

~**~

Chiaki watched them for a moment, saying nothing. Saori and Yuzuru. Something had changed. He wasn't sure what exactly. Saori was already saying goodbye. "Are you sure?" she asked.

"Chiaki said he would come, so I'll wait here for him a while longer. Have fun at work."

"Okay! See you, Yuzuru."

Yuzuru nodded and waved.

"Saori."

Saori jumped and turned. Chiaki was leaning against a tree behind her. You wouldn't be able to see him from the stand.

"What are you doing here? Yuzuru is waiting for you," she scolded, pushing one of her braids back behind her shoulder as if it was annoying her.

Chiaki didn't answer. "Have you finally given up on Yuzuru?" he asked instead.

Saori looked down at her feet. "I still like Yuzuru, you know. But I don't think he'll ever feel the same, so...I just want him to cheer up and be happy. That'll be enough for me. It has to, because you and I both know there's really only one person that Yuzuru likes."

"You...knew?"

"I guess I've known for a while," she said a little sadly. "I didn't want to think about it. I don't know. It's stupid to keep pretending not to see it. Yuzuru is still the person I like though, even if...well, the heart doesn't change overnight. Get over there. Knowing him, he'll wait all day, even if you never show up at all. See you, Chiaki."

Chiaki nodded. Little by little, she was growing up. 'You'll find someone, Saori. Your heart is pretty strong. You'll be just fine,' he thought. He wasn't sure when it had happened that he started seeing the girl as a friend rather than as 'one of Takaya's friends' or 'that girl who likes Yuzuru', but as it stood, she was definitely a friend, a friend who wasn't connected to this whole mess about possessors and other lives. Her perspective could be interesting sometimes, on the rare occasion that she deemed to voice it aloud.

He stepped out around the tree and walked over, hands shoved deep into his pockets. Looking up, Yuzuru smiled slightly and waved. "I didn't think you were going to make it," he said, standing. "You said a minute, it's been almost half an hour," he scolded.

"Sorry, I was just," Chiaki began to say.

"Thinking about Takaya, right?"

Chiaki frowned slightly. "Something like that. I'm not really in the mood for ice cream. Do you want to take a walk or just go somewhere and hang around a bit? Not much else to do. Everything's been so quiet lately."

"We can go over to my place," Yuzuru offered. "It's quiet there."

Chiaki nodded simply. "That would be fine."

~**~

Saori fixed the tie of her uniform and looked up, checking the address. "Koneko no Sumu," she pronounced slowly, checking the address. "Yup! This looks like the place!" She pulled the white box out of the back seat and tried to maneuver her way past all of the flower shop groupies. "Excuse me. Sorry. Coming through..." she said as she weaved through the crowd of girls.

"If you're not going to buy anything then get out!" Ran growled. He couldn't take much more of this. This being polite thing wasn't working very well. Actually, it was extremely difficult.

Saori heard his aggrevated voice before she saw him. Her eyes widened slightly and she managed to get through the crowd with her bundle still in one piece.

"Fancy meeting you here!" she chuckled.

Ran's eyes widened slightly at seeing the braided girl holding a large white bundle. It was the greeter from the other night.

"It's you." He stated the obvious.

"So you do remember me, though we were never formally introduced. My name is..."

"Saori," he stated.

"How did you...?"

"You were wearing a name badge."

Saori blushed a bit. "Oh, right. Anyway, did somebody order a cake? A big one?" she nodded to the parcel in her hands.

His eyes widened slightly again. "You work at the bakery? I thought you were with the caterers."

"Oh, hah, I fill in sometimes, since my boss's brother runs the catering business, but this is my main job."

"Aa." He came around the counter and took the cake from her, setting it down on an empty area. "How much do I owe you?"

Saori just handed him the little leather book with the bill. He put the money inside, and handed it back, at which point she ripped off the customer's receipt and handed it to him with a smile. "Thank you for choosing Seguchi's Sweets!" she said cheerfully. She was supposed to say stuff like that. "Don't buy your baked goods anywhere else. If you let me know in advance, I'll make sure to make the cake myself next time!" she beamed. "I'm really good!" she assured him.

Ran nodded and smiled slightly. She just had such a cute personality he couldn't help it. Strangely, he could imagine her with her hands in the dough and half-covered in frosting, a very cute mental image, mind you, which made his smile grow slightly.

"He-ey! That looks good on you! You should do it more," she teased. "Well, I've gotta go now. See ya!"

"Saori!" he called after her, not sure why he was doing it.

"Yes?" she asked, cocking her head curiously to one side.

"Ran."

"Huh?"

Ran blushed slightly, realizing how odd that must have sounded.

"It's...my name. Fujimiya Ran."

Saori grinned. "Okay Ran! I'll see you around!" she said cheerfully, and then added as a side note, "try not to yell at your groupies so much!"

He turned around and blushed more deeply. 'She heard that, huh?' He didn't know why he was embarrassed. But the second he turned around, his red face met Ken's gaze as the other man returned from the back of the shop. The expression seemed to say that he'd seen the whole thing, or a good chunk of it at least.

"Don't. Speak." Ran warned.

"Aaaww. Why not?" Ken protested.

"Yohji is wearing off on you. If you open your mouth you're bound to say something obnoxious."

"Geez. And here I was just going to congratulate you for finally hitting puberty."

Ran glared at him. "Get them out of here. Aya will be here soon and the cake just arrived," he bit out in reference to the girls as he turned to open the ribbon and take a look to make sure everything was in order with the sweets for his sister's birthday.

"You got it boss!" Ken saluted. "Alright girls, time to go!" he said cheerfully, gently nudging them out of the shop.

~**~

"How are you doing? You've been in a bad mood lately. It's because Takaya hasn't returned, yet, right?" Yuzuru asked, sitting down on the floor beside where Chiaki had decided to take a seat against the wall.

"I'm fine. Actually, I've been a little concerned about you. It's obvious how much you miss him. Be honest with me, Yuzuru. Are you really okay?"

Yuzuru looked down. "I...it's...it's fine. I know he'll come back. He said he'd always protect me, so I'm sure he'll come back, because Takaya is...he's my..."

"...best friend?" Chiaki finished for him. Yuzuru was a wreck. It was obvious.

"...yeah," Yuzuru answered sadly. Chiaki could feel something pulling in his chest.

"Is that really what you want?" he asked after a silence too long to be comfortable. Yuzuru needed to get this off of his chest. He'd been through a lot with this young man, so it only made sense that he be the one to comfort him if he needed it.

A tear slid down the boy's cheek. 'Yuzuru. Yuzuru, don't cry...' Chiaki's mind said. 'Just talk to me. I'm here. I'll always be here for you.'

"If...if I'm Takaya's best friend, then why is it that Naoe is the only one who can bring him any peace?" he asked, trying to fight back the flood of tears that wanted to come. He sniffled, his shoulders shivered. Chiaki reached out and wrapped his arms around the other man, pressed his head against his shoulder, rubbed small circles over his back. 'Shh. It's okay. It's okay. You're not alone.' "Those two...have a lot of history," he explained weakly.

"But I want...I want to be the one that Takaya thinks about!" Yuzuru yelled, and then fell into hysterics. Now that he'd said it aloud, he couldn't take it back, couldn't hold anything back at all. "I...I love Takaya. I love him so much, Chiaki, so very much," he sobbed.

"I know, Yuzuru. I know." 'I've know for a long time. Forever, really. And, it hurts, it hurts so much. Does it hurt Saori this much too?' Chiaki wondered. 'Is this how Naoe hurts? No. It's not the same thing, because Naoe won't ever let anyone else have Kagetora, and I...and I what?'

'So warm,' Yuzuru's mind informed him. 'So very warm and strong.' It was different. Chiaki comforting him was much different than Saori comforting him, because Saori was a girl. She was soft and slender and gentle. She didn't have strong arms like this to wrap around him, strong arms that made him feel safe, and so very, very warm. And if this was Saori now, he would feel the rise and fall of her breasts against his chest as he rested against her. As if checking, his hand thoughtlessly, trailed down from where it rested on Chiaki's shoulder across a broad expanse of chest. It was definitely a man's chest, Chiaki's chest, he reminded himself as the tears still flowed from his eyes, blurring his vision. 'He's so strong. You can feel it, even through the material, you can feel his muscles. This chest is...this guy...' he knew it wasn't true, not really, but his heart wished it was...wished...

"...Takaya," he whispered, his mind shouting at him to stop, that this wasn't right, this wasn't Takaya, even as his body rebelled in desperation, planting small kisses along Chiaki's throat.

Chiaki tensed. 'Yuzuru. Yuzuru. Please...please don't...please stop. I'm not...I can't...not like this. Please, Yuzuru, not like this.'

Yuzuru was so lost in his own loneliness that he didn't notice. His lips trailed up along the other man's jaw, licking the tender spot behind the ear that made Chiaki's whole body just sink into numbness. More kissing.

Chiaki's mind was screaming. As Yuzuru said Takaya's name over and over again, his mind was screaming. 'I'm not Takaya. I'm not him. I'm not. Stop, Yuzuru. Stop saying his name. I want. I need....say my name, Yuzuru. Yuzuru, please. Please stop.' But he couldn't bring himself to say that. His body burned. He wondered how long he'd longed for this sort of contact without ever realizing it. He wasn't sure, but it felt like forever. When he felt warm lips swallow his own in desperation, he couldn't bring himself to not respond. Yuzuru was just, he was in so much pain and...Chiaki was just wholly incapable of pushing the young man away. 'I love you. I love you, Yuzuru. So much. How did I not notice it before now?' he wondered as fingers slid up into his hair.

"Taka--ya," Yuzuru moaned into the kiss, sliding his hand up to touch Takaya's short, dark hair. 'If it were Saori, the hair would be long...not sh--l-long hair! Chiaki!' Yuzuru finally came to his senses when he felt the ponytail, the ridge of the man's glasses and pulled back, gasping when he saw the wet trails falling down the man's face from eyes squeezed tightly shut. "Ch-Chiaki."

Chiaki finally, cautiously, opened his eyes. He didn't know how terrified he looked, how lost.

"I--I'm so sorry, Chiaki," Yuzuru breathed. "I..."

"It's fine, Yuzuru. If this is the only way I can," 'be with you,' his mind thought as he said, "help you, then it's fine. It's no big deal."

"But, you're crying."

Chiaki looked startled, brought his hand up to the corner of his eye and wiped at some moisture there, looking perplexed as he rubbed the salty tears between his fingers. "How strange," he said thoughtfully.

"Chiaki," Yuzuru whispered. "You should have stopped me."

"It's what you needed, isn't it? The kind of comfort that can't come from Saori? Stop apologizing. You're hurting enough without adding guilt to the top of it. It's nothing. It was just a kiss."

"But I... and you..." Yuzuru stuttered helplessly. 'You're still crying. You're in pain too, Chiaki. Is it because...do you, also, love Takaya?' he wondered as Chiaki sighed, pulling him up against him again. He could feel the wet trails of tears blazing down his cheeks anew. 'That must be it. Chiaki. You're so strong. I never knew you loved him. I never had any clue at all, and here I am, relying on you like I always do. I'm such a coward.'

"Forget it, Yuzuru. Cry all you want. I'll hold you for as long as you need."

"Why?" Yuzuru asked honestly, burying himself in the embrace, unable to not do so, really.

"That's what friends do, isn't it?" Chiaki asked matter-of-factly. "Don't be stupid. I just don't like it when people I care about are sad. It would be the same with anyone. If Saori were sad, you'd want to comfort her if she was crying, right?"

"I...I guess that's true..." Yuzuru trailed off. 'But wanting to make her stop crying and letting her kiss me...they're not really...the same, are they?'

'Don't ask anymore, Yuzuru. I just can't possibly ever turn away from you. Even if you...love Takaya...I...I have no choice but to accept that. I can't change that, who you love. And these tears...I guess this is what they mean by tears of love. Because it's true, Yuzuru. I love you. I love you. I love you I love you I love you. You and only you. Always, for all of eternity. I'll never love anyone but you, I swear it.'

Unconsciously, his grip tightened on the man in his arms. He hadn't realized that Yuzuru had stopped crying long ago. 'It's okay, Chiaki. Cry as long as you need to. I'll stay just like this until you're ready to let go. Takaya will come back. He will. I was such an insensitive jerk. I didn't realize that you were in love with him. Sorry. I'm sorry Chiaki. I'll stay like this as long as necessary. For as long as you need. I promise. And if you need...if you need to find comfort...in...in that way...' he blushed against Chiaki's chest, remembering that he'd just practically molested the poor guy, 'if that's all I can do for you then, I...I'll try. I'll try very hard to be the person who can make you feel better, because we're friends. Right Chiaki? You and I...we're very good friends, aren't we?'

~**~

A/N and review replies:

Well, as you can see, I'm still sorta warming up, getting all the characters present and in play.

Right now though, I think I want to slap Yuzuru for being stupid. Haha. Geez, but I can sooo see him misreading things like this...

Aison: glad to see that my only reviewer so far is one who knows nothing of mirage and very little more about weiss. *sweatdrops* You read anything? Yeah, I've noticed. Hah. Well, I'm glad you like it, anyway, though I'm not sure how you're going to end up not totally confused....well, i'll try to write it in such a way that even someone who knows nothing can still enjoy the story, for you and wren's sake (especially since you may very well be my only readers. Mirage is so under-appreciated *sigh*).