Mirage Of Blaze Fan Fiction ❯ The Echo of Memories Unforgotten ❯ Living Life ( Chapter 7 )

Takaya feeling the heavy pulse of the music beat through him, the warmth from his surroundings, the bright flashes of light jabbing at his eyelids every now and again, and the comfortably, loud chatter of his friends at his side had him feeling so alive. Like he could exist here forever.

 

Like all the stimulus from the lights, and the sounds and the touch of music in the air could keep him alive, numb, without pain, content. The alcohol he could almost taste in the air, the sweat and the perfume and cologne and cigarette smoke. All of it was so vibrating and moving, not stagnant, constantly in motion like the bodies that were only a few feet away from him. He could taste it all standing there with his friends, the feeling of immortality, the kind that his young blood imparted on him, the music booming so loud in his ears that he could taste the electronic wave on his tongue, it all made him feel so hyped up. Like he could do anything while existing here, with his friends and these strangers and the sights and sounds, the world around him.

 

They were all feeding off the adrenaline rush of this place, the teenagers especially, the ones that came here with fake IDs, dancing with adults and thinking they in turn were adults so much so that within every gyre, every tilt of the head, every motion of the body that the fast-paced music induced within them a feeling of owning the world.

 

It was really addictive.

 

Takaya tapped his finger to a beat that would not trap itself into a hum; so quick and abandoned that it could be considered the freest thing he had ever heard. He liked it but dancing to it...he didn't really care too much for dancing, Saori had tried to get him out there but he had declined on the basis that he didn't really feel like it. Sure there were a ton of attractive women out there and it would have been easy to go up to one of them and ask her to dance but Takaya hadn't had it in him, not even for one. They just all sort of looked the same and that to Takaya hadn't been a good thing to find out in nightclub.

 

He blamed this all on Naoe.

 

He didn't know how he'd come to that conclusion; he just thought that this was all Naoe's fault. For making him so stupid now that even if he tried to appreciate how pretty some of the girls were here he failed miserably.

 

Yuzuru seeing the look on his face asked him if something was bothering him. He told the quiet blond that nothing was bothering him and as Saori started harping on him for being a terrible liar, he could have sworn he saw someone who looked like Naoe in the crowd.

 

Damn Naoe, he had him so screwed up that now he was having hallucinations of the man.

 

This was perfect.

 

“Takaya, get your head out of the clouds and get me something to drink.”

 

He turned to his classmate and looked at her like she had a second head.

 

“Damn, Saori, bossy much.” He still couldn't help smiling at her. Saori was too much sometimes and she reminded him of his sister sometimes, high spirited and full of life. Saori was somebody who no matter how bad he felt he couldn't really wallow with her near. It was impossible because he couldn't help teasing her about her school yard crush on Yuzuru and was about to, it would have been funny to see the look on her face when he asked her why she didn't ask her “boyfriend” Yuzuru to go fetch her highness something to drink, but dammit he couldn't shake the feeling that someone was watching him.

 

“Earth to Takaya?”

 

He really needed to concentrate, maybe it was an enemy. He did have an instinct for these things so maybe if he just focused he would be able to pinpoint the exact location.

 

“Hey Earth to Takaya.”

 

He wasn't feeling anything malignant so he could cross off revenging ghost, maybe he should-

 

“Hey Takaya, isn't that Naoe over there?”

 

He turned to her, a little stupidly as Saori waved someone over.

 

“Wow, look at Naoe, he really looks great tonight.”

 

Takaya stared a bit at her, now a little fearful to turn and look at what Saori was paying so much attention to.

 

“That is Mr. Nobutsuna.” Not Yuzuru too. He had good eyesight, much better than Saori's so if he could see Naoe too...No, it had to be a hallucination. Maybe someone had spiked all of their drinks with Rohyphol and they were all being killed right now. Oh god he could only wish.

 

Then he realized that it was absolutely impossible for all of them to be having the same hallucinations. He was really screwed.

 

He kept his eyes downward, if he didn't look at Naoe, then the man wouldn't exist and everything would be okay because Naoe didn't exist and why was Saori still calling him over?

He grabbed her hand and Saori like the spoiled brat she was, hit him hard on the shoulder.

 

“What the hell are you doing, you jerk? Stop being so weird and go say Hi to Naoe.” Yuzuru was laughing at him and Saori kept scowling at him like she was his mother.

 

“I'm not actin' weird, its just that...you ah, wouldn't understand.”

 

Saori huffed out a breath, “Yeah, because you're being weird. I don't get weird,” then with both her hands, she started pushing him toward the crowd. He pushed back against her hands and Saori pinched him hard on the arm.

 

“Ouch, you bit-“ And before he could even get the explicative out, Saori was up by his ear. She put a hand to her mouth and whispering to him, he now understood why she was so adamant about him leaving.

 

“I want to be alone with Yuzuru, now scram and make nice with Naoe. It's not hard to see you have a school boy crush on him, now go before I embarrass you in front of him and you know I will.” She punctuated her point by kicking him in the ass and he stumbled forward, right into a dancing couple.

 

“Hey watchit kid.”

 

Takaya looking back at Saori as she tried to innocently play off her very violent kick to Yuzuru and doing a pretty damn good job at it was not sure if he should go back and kick her or just let her walk away scab-less. She continued to coo at Yuzuru and Takaya opted that he shouldn't get between his friends, and especially psychotic Saori who would probably take him out in a very nasty way if he interrupted her sad excuse for flirting.

 

Looking ahead, he could plainly see that Saori hadn't been wrong, because standing right in front of him was Naoe, he watched the man and realized that Saori was right for a second time that night because Naoe really looked...handsome. Devastatingly so and Takaya wasn't sure that any mirage ever looked that good.

 

Moving forward and not of his own will, Takaya stood across from the Possessor.

 

“So?” He had pages of dialogue to exchange with this man and the only thing he could say was a measly so. He had hit rock bottom.

 

“I need to talk to you.” He'd heard that one before and look where it had gotten them. Takaya couldn't understand how he just didn't turn away from the possessor and walk away. The things Naoe had told him two weeks ago still ringing in his ears, ricocheting off his soul and echoing in his head and heart. The older man had told him such horrible things and here Naoe was, standing in front of him like nothing had ever happened and here he was letting him.

 

“I'm sick of talking Naoe, I really am.” It was the truth, the most truth he had ever told Naoe, he was so sick of talking about things that truthfully, didn't have anything to do with him. Minako, it was a name that a couple of weeks ago he hadn't even known existed. He'd had no recollection of it and having to find out that Naoe had raped her, how he had tried to bring a dead Kagetora back in his own wife's body. It was sick. The kind of sick you never spoke out loud. His subconscious however didn't have any problem with bombarding him with images of it when he slept, he'd found out other things, things that Naoe had left out, like he had impregnated Minako and Kagetora had found out when he was trapped in Minako's body. God what a way to find out.

 

Messed up.

 

It was so messed up and Takaya had rushed out of his bed and thrown up in the toilet for the remainder of the night. Then when he'd crawled back into the bed, his soul, like it had some warped sense of humor, showed him images of Kagetora and Minako...together. They looked happy and he had cried himself to sleep because it hurt so damn much and he didn't even know why. Maybe it was because Kagetora, the part of himself that was the Lord, hated Naoe for doing such unspeakable things to him. Kagetora was getting his revenge through him and that didn't go well with him at all. It was strange because Kagetora, they were supposedly the same person. He never really believed it, that he wasn't the person who he had believed himself to be, that those seventeen years of life weren't his but someone else's. He had passed it off as complete bullshit. But then his feeling for Naoe, the ones that wished for the Possessor to suffer, to want, to never have, those were things he realized were left over from Kagetora, that the Lord had been so angry, so seeking for revenge that his hate had carried over in each of his reincarnations.

 

Hate for a man who had suffered just as much as he had.

 

And he was all so sick of it because Takaya Ougi didn't listen to past voices, just his own voice, the one that told him he really liked Naoe, really liked the way he talked to him, or treated him like he could make and break the universe with one hand stroke.

 

Like he was Naoe's universe.

 

It was selfish of him to see it that way but Naoe was the first person who had ever made him feel this way, so special, so loved, so cared for. It was an amazing feeling, the kind that could break apart centuries of hate and turmoil. Naoe had said that he loved him, not Kagetora, had confessed to him on the pier and not some ghost that four hundred years ago had spurned him. And Naoe was again standing here, right in front of him, asking him to talk and understand and...

 

“I don't want to talk anymore. It's none of my business what happened centuries ago. I could care less about some dead guy. My name's Takaya, Naoe and I hope you don't forget that.”

 

He moved a little forward, not much and Naoe was standing there and just watching him, speechless.

 

“I don't want to talk...,” Takaya looked to the side and steadied himself for his next words, “...actually I want to...ah...,” he went red in the face and scratching behind his neck he realized why he hadn't had it in him to ask a girl to dance.

 

Naoe saw him nervously struggling, the blush staining his face and was about to suggest that they go sit down somewhere-

 

That's when he felt it, Takaya grabbed his hand, it was thoroughly unexpected and he had been so surprised that the teenager was able to pull him into the crowd and far from his friends. He watched Takaya lead him farther and farther into the crowd until they had come out on the other side by the wall. The warmth from the palm clutching his hand and the fact that it was Takaya that was holding his hand, made this all so surreal as the lights overhead blinked rapidly.

 

Takaya stopped suddenly like he had run out of gas and Naoe still behind the teen reached out for his shoulder. Takaya turned his head to watch the man behind him and Naoe feeling those brown molten eyes on him wondered what was going through his head. Takaya turned around fully, facing Naoe with his head held high, the blush still prevalent on his features. They were still holding hands and Naoe rearranging the hold so Takaya no longer was gripping his hand, twined their fingers together.

 

Takaya felt his heart leap in his chest. A jarring, destabilizing sensation that had his legs weak and his blush spreading. He stumbled forward a little and resting a hand on Naoe's chest, he steadied himself and hesitantly moving within the man's arms rested his head against Naoe's heart. He closed his eyes. Naoe still holding Takaya's hands, gaped down at the boy in his arms, unsure as to how to go on without ravaging Takaya on the spot.

 

Takaya's head was now burying itself in his chest and the words he were trying to say muffled against his shirt. “I...think I want you to just shut up and hold me.”

 

Another song was starting up and Takaya going with the flow rather than against it began to shuffle with the beat. To say Naoe was surprised would be a huge understatement as he stood there motionless under the strobbing lights, feeling the young man dancing against him, his movements more pronounced, and bolder as the male voice, trance-like and needy sang. The beat wasn't fast but neither was it slow and as Takaya moved against him, his free hand coming around Naoe's back to pull him closer, there hands still entangled, his face pressed against Naoe's chest to get over the embarrassment of it all, Naoe finally found his feet and moved.

 

It wasn't anything too extravagant, simple steps of back and forth, Naoe's hand came up and around his shoulders and pulling Takaya to him, he felt the boy's breath on his collarbone. They were right up against each other and as Naoe again stepped forward, Takaya had no choice but to move with him, taking one step back.

 

He felt the hand around his shoulder move down to touch the small of his back and giving him enough room to move, Takaya turned in the older man's arms and put his back to Naoe's chest. Naoe slipped his hand around Takaya's stomach and then pulling him in close right against his front, Takaya nearly moaned aloud as he felt Naoe's erection press against the underside of his thigh.

 

Naoe's breath was right against his ear and he could hear the man's breathing spike as he shifted against his hardness.

 

“Takaya...”

 

Naoe still held onto one of Takaya's hands, his thumb now brushing over the skin of the boy's hand as he continued to rub against him. Naoe fought back a whimper as the pressure against his erection was increasing, Takaya was heavily leaning into him and every time the music came back to the chorus, Takaya energetically pushed himself on Naoe's hard-on, it was enough for him to come and he had to try to contain his breathing as Takaya with his free hand began to drag his fingers against the arm around his waist.

 

If this continued he was going to...

 

“I need to make love to you.” Naoe's voice was raspy against the skin of his ear and Takaya feeling Naoe's hardness ram into his backside wondered if they could even make it to the car.

 

Naoe grunted, burying his head in the junction between the boy's neck and shoulder, the arm around Takaya's waist tightening each time Takaya's jeans chafed against the front of his pants. This was unbearable. It was enough to drive him mad.

 

“Naoe...I think,” he swallowed as the possessor squeezed his hand, he could feel his heavy breathing on the side of his throat and he shivered. If he could just remain in control, let Naoe bend to his will, he could feel Naoe's breath quicken as if he was really close to the edge and he brought the hand that was skimming over the muscles in Naoe's forearm to the man's nape, his head turning to get a better view of Naoe face. Naoe's eyes were closed and his handsome face looked so lost in pleasure as he intently focused on it all that Takaya couldn't believe he hadn't realized how innocent Naoe's face could look sometimes.

 

“Nggghh...Naoe, tell me how much you need me.” Takaya felt the hand holding his own raise and bring itself around his waist, effectively caging him in, both the older man's arms tightening and squeezing him further into Naoe's erection. Takaya sucked in a breath.

 

“Naoe, you're crushing me.” Drawing one of his hands up the side of Naoe's neck and then cupping the back of his neck, Takaya tried to calm the Possessor behind him.

 

Naoe blinked his eyes open. The song suddenly melting away into another and the Possessor with a strength he didn't think he was capable off, pulled away from Takaya. He turned the boy around and then hugged him fiercely to his chest. Takaya thanked the gods he was able to suck in some air before Naoe's embraced him again.

 

“Takaya I...I haven't been fair to you. I keep quiet and hold everything in and expect you to understand me...I thought that you would be able to understand...but I was confusing you with Kagetora. I was so obsessed with finding him...and when I first looked at you, really saw you I couldn't think straight.

 

Naoe's grip tightened immensely and Takaya again struggled for breath.

 

“You denied me, told me you weren't him, told everyone else and I got mad at you for that. I couldn't understand it...”

 

Naoe was opening up to him and all it took was a hug. Geez what the hell would Naoe do if he...

 

“...And then when I really started talking to you, by the water, that day...god you're so different from him. Your feistier for one,” Naoe laughed a little, “ and I've never felt so relaxed before, like living could be that easy, just standing there by the water with you. It's probably the reason I felt such an overwhelming sensation to kiss you that night, to be close to you.”

 

“And then when you pushed me away, the way he had, it made me want to hate you too. When I was finally reincarnated into the first body I was unhappy and I blamed all my unhappiness on Lord Kagetora, after more years I grew to despise the man, my love became twisted. It still is. I've always held spitefulness in my heart for him because he could not love me in return. He was saving himself for Minako. It frustrated me because I loved him, he was such a quiet sort of man, an intelligent, self-sacrificing person and I had deeply respected those aspects of him. I pined and lusted for him and it was all so...useless in the end because he never cared for me in that capacity. I don't think I fully understood it myself to tell you the truth and I was starting to take it out on you when I first met you, it was hard, knowing that you were the reincarnation, that I was close to you, but you would never love me. It was because I saw Kagetora in you, the way you could command and hurt me. I should have known from the start that my obsession with Kagetora wasn't exactly the kind of love I could live with. It wasn't the love I was looking for, it's just that...

 

Takaya wanting so much for Naoe to go on, whispered words of encouragement, “it's just that...”

 

“...It's just the only love I've ever known.”

 

Naoe's sighed in his ear, a sad exhale of breath as he released the dams of centuries of emotion. It made Takaya want to hold his breath.

 

“It was after the mirror incident that I started to realize how different you two were.

 

Naoe held onto Takaya and swayed with the music a little. Everything was muffled in the background compared to Naoe's confession.

 

“I started to think how vulnerable you could be, how Kagetora had hated to show weakness, even to me. You weren't like that, you really talked to me sometimes, told me things that would have made Kagetora cringe. For some reason that makes you stronger than him. You live your life...it's amazing to watch you. I've never watched anyone like I've watched you. Kagetora was such a sad man, always troubled by his family connections, by his father and yet you don't let those things bother you, even though your father has left you. You live with your sister and are content with that. Kagetora had vassals, no friends; you have friends at school that you are very loyal to, a different kind of loyalty, a loyalty that's not borne out of a battlefield. Not borne out of necessity but want, a sincere want. It's been so long since I've felt human and everyday watching you live, watching you ask for things you want, complain, laugh, yell, it makes me realize how much living I need to catch up on. I want to start living the life I'm given Takaya. I'm fed up with my past. I don't want to have a past, I just want to have a present, a here and now...with you.”</p>

 

`Okay somebody was definitely going to get laid after that.'

 

“I was confessing to you Takaya, on that pier. Only to you. My loyalty, my devotion, my protection, my love-“

 

Takaya pulling back from the taller man, his one hand now stroking the side of his face tilted Naoe's head downward. “Naoe you sure are long winded when given the chance.”

 

Naoe smiled down on him, a slow upturn of the lips and Takaya leaning into the older man, grinned at him.

 

“Shit I didn't know if you were ever gonna shut up. But you know, what you said did have me thinkin'.”

 

“Hmmm?” Naoe's hand was now rubbing the small of his back.

 

“Well since we're...excuse me, you're confessing undying love here, I guess I love...my bike.”

 

Takaya didn't have to say it, because Naoe was now giving him the fondest look.

 

`Naoe was definitely getting some.'