Mirage Of Blaze Fan Fiction ❯ There Is No Such Place ❯ Four ( Chapter 4 )

Author's Note: This is a special chapter… and a sexy one.

I hope you'll have as much fun reading this as I had writing it. Enjoy :-)

 

Warning: This chapter consists of a single scene which is a m/m lemon. If you're offended by this kind of thing, then don't read this chapter.

 

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Four

 

 

I let my hands wander to the back of his head and freed his hair from the ribbon that held it together. My breath caught in my lungs at the feeling of the silken floods that glided through my fingers. The lower strands were slightly wet from the pond. Only now I became aware of how much time I had spent during the last days fantasizing about how this would feel.

 

A bit bewildered at the unexpected gesture, Saburou met my gaze. The black silk surrounding his face, he looked more beautiful than ever. In the dim light of the forest, his eyes seemed almost green.

 

To think that this loveliness should be mine to explore brought a lump to my throat.

 

“I'll be gentle,” I whispered.

 

A fine blush appeared on his high cheekbones, before he wordlessly closed his eyes and let himself be pulled into my embrace. The quick, birdlike heart-beat I felt against my chest belied his nonchalance, however.

 

I sighed at the close contact, but my thoughts were spinning. I had thought about how to do this: imagine how I would go about forcing myself on somebody and then just step by step do the very opposite. So in any case Saburou would be aware from the start that this was different from his previous experiences.

 

I let go of him for a moment and took off my coat which I spread on the ground. I sat down and extended my hand to him. When he took it a bit surprised, I let myself sink on my back and pulled him over me.

 

He was straddling my hips, but my hands were still occupied near his face, stroking his neck and his hair which was falling over my forehead. Peppermint… How did he do it? We had been out in the field for days and still he smelled like this…

 

I smiled up at him. His flat hands were lying on my chest. My fingers hurried towards the seam of his clothing. Together we shed off his yukata and I cast it aside.

 

His skin under my hands… He had his face slightly turned away from me, his eye-lids on half-mast. There was tension in his frame, but I couldn't tell whether from fear or from anticipation. He exhaled sharply when I touched his nipples, biting his lower lip when I continued to stroke them. They quickly grew hard under my touch.

 

His head sunk forward as I teased him. His fingernails were cutting into my underarms as if signaling that this was too much for him. Although I was pleased with the response, I remembered too well what it had been like to be pleasured by another for the first time and readily had mercy on him.

 

I sat up and put my arms around him. He returned my embrace as if relieved by the absence of the pleasure. I couldn't suppress a smile. The icy exterior housed a very sensual person.

 

My hands traveled over his back. Saburou almost jumped when I touched his hip, but forced himself to remain where he was. I stroked his skin soothingly although I was very eager to get rid of his loin cloth.

 

Unfortunately, we didn't carry any liquor with us since we were on a campaign. It might have been useful to lower his inhibitions. Well, we had to do without. At least I had managed to pilfer a bit of oil from our supplies which I intended to put to good use.

 

Saburou closed his eyes as I pulled away his last cover. For some reason, it struck me then - seeing all of him for the first time - with full force that we were practically strangers.

 

Although I had never treated him roughly, he couldn't have been sure how I would behave once we were lying here like this. It had required so much courage, so much trust of him to stay here with me.

 

Why me? I wondered, once again completely in awe of him. But the thought flickered away as quickly as my own clothing was being shed off. I caught Saburou in my arms and rolled us to the side.

 

I lost track of time as we were lying there facing each other. Hands were flying over the plains and slopes of each other's bodies. I didn't recognize myself anymore. I couldn't tell whether I had ever treated a lover with that much patience, that much consideration.

 

And the weirdest thing was that with him all of it came to me so naturally. I didn't feel at all like rushing things.

 

The touch of his fingertips was shy at first and soft like spider-webs. Still something under my skin seemed to draw his hands to me.

 

In the beginning, he mirrored my every move. But with time he was becoming a bit more confident in touching me where I didn't expect it and at one point running his hand through my hair as if fascinated by the texture.

 

His own movements abruptly froze, though, when I slipped my hand below his hipbone for the first time. He held up his hand and quite possibly would have stopped me, but I was already there, touching him, circling him, carefully stroking the tip. His breath seemed to catch in his lungs.

 

I formed a ring with my thumb and index finger which I slowly moved up and down his length. My eyes never left his face which he was half burying in his arm.

 

I let my whole hand touch him and he stormily threw back his head, presenting me with the full view of his beautiful flushed features again, his shadow hair fanned out against the forest ground. I could feel myself throbbing in reaction.

 

Before long, he covered his face with the back of his hand and softly cried out: “Ah, no… no more!”

 

I smiled again, stroking his rigid manhood with a single finger as if unable to let go of him completely. He couldn't imagine yet how much more pleasure there was to come if we continued with this.

 

In a pocket of the coat we were lying on, I found the small jar of oil.

 

“You were planning ahead”, Saburou stated, a slight tremor in his voice but instantly in the know about what this was for.

 

“I was.”

 

“Presumptuous”, he said.

 

“Rightfully so,” I pointed out and forestalled any objections by putting a lubricated finger against his entrance and slowly circling it. Doing so, I was looming over him quite suddenly, and I was all too aware of how this must feel for him.

 

His eyes were like impenetrable shields. I couldn't tell what was going through his mind but easily guessed that he was struck by memory. Once again I felt like lacerating those who had harmed him.

 

I stretched out by his side and ran my fingers through his hair “Is this what you want?” I whispered.

 

A completely flustered expression flitted over his face only to be replaced by something very akin to gratitude - which was probably why he very quickly suppressed it.

 

He just nodded towards me to go ahead. I sighed inwardly. It was very clear to me that in his heart he didn't want anything of this. He regarded it as a sort of ordeal. As a reward he might be freed from his fears. His eyes narrowed considerably when I complied with him. Even slipping a mere fingertip into him proved to be difficult.

 

It was I, though, whom escaped a soft sound of pain as his fingernails were digging deeply into my shoulder.

 

“Am I hurting you?” I asked.

 

Saburou let go of my shoulder as if he had realized what he was doing only then. “No,” he said shortly.

 

I almost believed him.

 

I took my time with him as I had known from the start I would have to. Every once in a while I removed my fingers from him to coat them in some more oil, scissoring them, widening him for me.

 

Perhaps out of shame, he had averted his eyes during the procedure but he was watching me intently when I was finally pouring some of the oil onto myself. His eyes were wide and dark. Still he made no attempt at escaping, just remained where he was, his head laid back, his legs slightly opened.

 

“Don't be scared,” I said.

 

“I'm not.”

 

I knew he spoke the truth when I joined him once more on the ground and instantly felt him shifting against me. It wasn't fear - or at least not fear alone - that had him trembling, but desire, too.

 

I stroked the insides of his thighs as I made him spread his legs and slipped my fingers into him again. By now, I was met with almost no resistance.

 

Only when I carefully withdrew my fingers and instead settled my hips between his legs, Saburou looked decidedly nervous at the vulnerable position this left him in. Panic flared up in his gaze at the touch of my manhood.

 

I smiled at him reassuringly and let my hands glide over the insides of his thighs again which seemed so sensitive.

 

Bravely fighting demons I could only guess at, he let his head roll to the side and closed his eyes, silently giving me permission to continue. The air was filled with his heavy breathing and mine as I slowly worked myself into him.

 

He was tight, incredibly so. He didn't utter a word of discomfort, but I knew better than to judge on this considering his stubborn bravery. He must have been in pain in spite of having been prepared well.

 

This was a trial for him. He had set his mind on following through with this no matter the price he had to pay. I had no doubt that this was to a certain degree humiliating for him. But I intended to make him forget about his embarrassment soon.

 

I forced myself to breathe evenly, fighting not to lose myself in the feeling of penetrating him. To distract both him and myself, I whispered to him softly, soothingly, my face laid against his neck: words of comfort, of trust which stunned me more than him when I realized that I meant every single one of them.

 

And they seemed to have an effect on him by all means. Gradually, I could sense him relax around me. To my delight, I felt his hands on my back, wordlessly encouraging me as I was gliding in and out of him more effortlessly until I found myself wholly inside him.

 

I gently wrapped one of his legs around my hip and experimented a bit with the angle as I slid into him again, probing deeper, searching… finding…

 

Thrill surged through me at the shiver this produced.

 

Saburou froze under me.

 

Before, he had merely allowed me to do with him as I pleased; all he enjoyed so far was the relative painlessness, I wasn't going to fool myself there.

 

But this reaction of his betrayed the first pang of real pleasure. His hands suddenly clung to my shoulders.

 

“What are you doing?” he asked in a puzzled voice, his eyes meeting mine for the first time since I had entered him. In spite of the unresolved tension between us, I couldn't help admiring the beauty of this gaze for a moment.

 

“This, you mean?” I smiled, thrusting into him again, from the same angle as before.

 

His eyes fluttered shut for a moment as I touched that sensitive spot within him once more. Another carefully controlled thrust drew a small, helpless noise from him.

 

His head sunk back. I caught him in my arms as he melted into me. I felt like I was drowning in a sea of desire and tenderness.

 

“Ah, I… I didn't know…” he whispered, sounding slightly out of breath.

 

And it was obvious that indeed he hadn't. Although I had anticipated as much - his previous experiences stemmed from violence after all - it was still breathtaking to watch him being seduced by the unknown sensation. The sweet shock on his face aroused me beyond words.

 

But I didn't dare pound into him although the way his hips tentatively came up to meet my thrusts indicated just how much he enjoyed what I was doing to him. It wouldn't do to scare him or evoke bad memories.

 

Thus I disciplined myself. I kept my pace and closely took notice of his every reaction - the half-closed eyes in front of me and the short fingernails scraping over my back.

 

Saburou was panting by now. A fine film of sweat had spread over his skin. His legs had fallen further apart, unconsciously opening him up to me.

 

I was entertaining the thought of putting one of them over my shoulder, when I all of a sudden realized that he was struggling to withdraw from me. His elbows stemmed into the ground. He was trying to change the angle of my gliding into him not to be stimulated so thoroughly anymore, I realized.

 

To say that this startled me would be an understatement. Not having any of it, I pulled him closer again.

 

“Wait,” he tried to stop me. New tremors were running through his slender figure as I embedded myself deeper into him. “I'm… I'm going to -“

 

“Yes.” I knew what he couldn't say and was determined not to let him get away without it. “Don't fight it.”

 

His palms pressed against my chest. “No,” he gasped. “You don't understand…”

 

But I did understand - or at least I thought so. It was one thing for him to submit to me, but something entirely different to let me bring him to climax. There was only so much he could give of himself in order not to get too close to me.

 

“It's all right,” I whispered, running my hands over the insides of his thighs. “Just let yourself go…”

 

A soft groan escaped his lips when I guided his legs around my waist again, but he was still resisting me. “I - cannot,” he shook his head.

 

“Trust me,” I said. “Give yourself to me…”

 

And I closed my hand around him.

 

“Ah…!”

 

He was lost. His back arched into me, my flesh penetrating him deeper. I thrust into him rhythmically, nearly losing myself in the pleasure but moving my hand steadily up and down his length. This twofold stimulation left him with no choice but to surrender to me. I could tell he was close when his hands fell from my shoulders to claw into the soil instead. So was I, incidentally.

 

“Oh,” he moaned out in ecstasy, his body giving in, my will finally defeating his. “Ohhh…”

 

His lithe frame jerked beneath me. I felt his climax through my fingers, against my stomach and white-hot pleasure surged through me, my pulse thundering in my ears, my own unrestrained moans ringing out as I joined him in release.

 

Saburou came down from his high with a groan that was almost painful in its intensity. I took in his closed eyes and flushed cheeks and tenderly cupped his face in my hand. “I didn't hurt you, did I?”

 

“No”, he said and put an arm over his face as if trying to hide his turbulent feelings from me. “I can't believe we just did that.”

 

Part of me couldn't believe it either. Pure delight at having succeeded in taming this wilful creature shot through my consciousness, only to be swept away by a softer, quite unknown emotion, and finally an all-consuming fatigue. I collapsed onto my clothing and pulled the breathless youth against my chest. His arms came around me almost shyly.

 

I wanted to say a thousand things at once, but instantly realized that I was too pleasantly sated to do more than just hold him. My body felt heavy and boneless, all too ready to let sleep pull me under as it had done with Saburou already a moment ago.

 

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Another Note: I'm such a romantic… ;-) Please tell me what you think…

 

Perhaps you noticed that in spite of all that happens in this chapter they never once kiss. That's no accident: judging from what I've read on the subject, kissing is a custom not known in Japan before the arrival of Western travellers. There were a few foreigners in Japan in the 16th century, mostly Portuguese missionaries. But Catholic priests as ambassadors of kissing? I don't know… :-)