Nana Fan Fiction ❯ Regrets ❯ Part II ( Chapter 2 )

Title: Regrets
Author: hostilecrayon
Fandom: NANA
Pairing: Nobuo/Hachi
Rating: G
Warnings: Angst, Spoilers for up to the end of the anime/manga Chapter 84.
Disclaimer: Nana is property of Ai Yazawa, Cookie and Viz Media.
Word Count: 943
Notes: I have too much love for Nobuo and Hachi to leave them hanging like this. So here we go, round two. …Which has turned into something that requires a round three. Why does everything I write try to turn into an epic?

 

This part there is very little Nobuo/Hachi, though this is building up to that. In this chapter, Hachi meets up with Shin to ask him a very important question.

 

Stay tuned! Part III soon!

 

Regrets - Part II

 

Hey Nana, the truth is, the reason I still wear the ring has nothing to do with Takumi. It's because of you. I feel as if it connects us somehow. I don't know if you still wear the ring, but I like to think that you do.

 

Maybe I'm just being sentimental, but I think you would understand. After all, isn't that why Ren bought you a ring that matched mine in the first place?

 

I'm scared, Nana. I don't know if I can start all over again with men. Wearing the ring on my left hand keeps people away. If you were here, I might be stronger than I am now. But even still, maybe I can finally move it to my right hand. After all, then we would truly match.

 

And maybe that simple act will take away some of the pain.

 

---

 

More than anyone else, Shin is the one I talk to the most. I do my best to dote on him like a mother would, and he sends me e-mails frequently. Once every few weeks, we meet at a coffee shop to catch up. I would even go so far as to say that he is my closest friend in Tokyo. I see Nobuo from time to time, but there is so much hidden between the lines that our visits are brief and we don't talk very much anymore. He tends to spend more time with Satsuki than me when we do meet up, and it makes me think that he would make an ideal father.

 

Shin's changed a lot over the years. His hair is no longer blue, and the number of piercings he wears has decreased significantly. He's shot up quite a bit in height - a fact he never lets escape Nobuo. He was always mature in his own way, despite his childlike antics, but now he carries it like the man that he's become. I really do feel a motherly sort of affection for him and I'm as proud of him as any mother would be of her son.

 

When I entered the coffee shop, he smiled at me from the seat he had taken by the window. He always looked happy to see me, and that day was no exception.

 

“Sorry,” I said as I took the seat across from him, “but I was a little late getting Satsuki to school. I hope you didn't wait long.”

 

“No, it's only been a few minutes. I took the liberty of ordering you some tea.” He gestured to the cup in front of me, and I sipped at it.

 

Moments passed in idle talk. We talked about work, children and random everyday things. The usual catching up conversation. It wasn't until we had to refill our cups that I built up the courage to talk to him about the thing I came here today to talk about.

 

I hesitated for a moment before just heading right into it. “Shin, I have sort of an odd question for you.”

 

He looked up, his face sincere. “You can ask me anything, Hachi, you know that.”

 

I fidgeted a little, drumming my fingernails against the cup I cradled in my hands. “Do you think it would be okay if I wore my wedding band on my right hand?”

 

Shin's eyes widened and his gaze flicked from my eyes to the diamond on my finger and back again. I'm not sure why I asked Shin this question, but without Nana around, he was the only person close enough to me to discuss it with. It seemed like too big of a decision to make on my own. He was also the only person who I felt didn't need an explanation. Shin just understood certain things better than the other people who were in my life at that time. It was part of what made him so mature.

 

“Are you ready to let go of that part of your past? Or is it something else?” His words were soft, and I knew what he was implying.

 

I shook my head softly. “Takumi and I have been separated for what feels like a long time now. And even before that, it was over between us. I can't take it off completely for Nana's sake, but I think maybe it's time I stopped giving the impression that we are going to work things out. But, it would also mean…” I looked away, not really sure how to finish the sentence.

 

Shin finished it in his own way. “That you would be available again.”

 

I sipped my tea, buying some time. Neither of us had to say it, but Nobuo was floating beneath the surface of our conversation. “I don't know how to handle it, Shin. It's been a long time.”

 

Shin's expression softened, and he reached a hand out and placed it over mine. “There's no need to be afraid, Hachi. Back then, when I said I'd support you no matter what, I meant it. Just because you aren't wearing your wedding ring doesn't mean that you have to be involved with anyone. But I also think it's time you put some of your past behind you.”

 

I smiled gratefully, and was rewarded with a smile in return. “Thank you, Shin. It means a lot to me.”

 

“I have to look after my mother, after all.”

 

Our laughter echoed through the little coffee shop.

 

---

 

Hey Nana, I think I just might be strong enough to take another step away from my past. But no matter how far I get, you will always be right beside me.

 

Have you left me behind, Nana?