Nana Fan Fiction ❯ Regrets ❯ Part VI ( Chapter 7 )

Title: Regrets
Author: hostilecrayon
Fandom: NANA
Pairing: Nobuo/Hachi
Rating: PG
Warnings: Angst, Spoilers for up to the end of the anime/manga Chapter 84.
Disclaimer: Nana is property of Ai Yazawa, Cookie and Viz Media.
Word Count: 802
Notes: Not much to say. Hachi's not feeling so good…

 

 

Part VI

 

Hey Nana, do you remember when you punched Nobuo in the face for making me cry? You told him not to make me cry with unfinished business, and I thought then that you were wrong, that it was the other way around.

 

Even now, he still cries for the same reason.

 

I really am a terrible person.

 

---

 

Nobuo slept straight into the afternoon. When I came back from picking up Satsuki, his guitar was no longer propped against the couch, and the apartment was empty. I sent him a text thanking him for letting me sleep, but I didn't get a reply.

 

Several days passed. I kept myself busy with work, putting in extra hours at the office. I needed the money and the daycare center at Satsuki's school was understanding. A week went by, and then two. I hadn't heard from Nobuo and I kept my conversations with Shin brief.

 

I created a barrier around myself that no one but Satsuki could penetrate.

 

It had been a month since I had seen any of the Blast members, so when my phone rang, I fully expected it to be Shin or Yasu. I didn't expect it to be Takumi.

 

“I'm in town for the week, and I'd like to see my daughter.” That was his greeting, and I couldn't blame him. He was still upset that I had refused his help with housing and thought I was just being stubborn.

 

I sighed. “It's about time. Satsuki asks about you every night. It's been so long since I've heard from you that I just don't know what to tell her anymore.”

 

It was so rare that Takumi came to town, and I knew it meant that he wanted to have Satsuki for a little while. Usually this meant I would spend a few nights out on the town with Shin, and we'd always had at least one group night while he was in town. But I didn't feel up to it this time.

 

So once we'd made the arrangements for him to pick up Satsuki, I didn't e-mail Shin like I would have normally. Instead, I called the office and let them know I would have more time for a little while so that they could schedule me for more hours. My employer wanted me to work more anyway, and it was an easy way to make more money. Takumi said that he would be in town for a month, and that could add up to a lot of extra money.

 

When Takumi showed up, he was cordial, and he asked me, as he did every time he came, if I was sure that this life was what I really wanted, and I politely but firmly told him it was. He just sighed, mumbling something about not understanding women, and left with Satsuki.

 

Moments after he left, I went to work. There was a huge project at work, and my boss had been calling for anyone who could to work extra hours to speed up the progress. For the next week, I did nothing but work and sleep. I drank a lot of coffee, something I don't do normally, to keep myself awake for long periods of time, and there was more than one day that I worked for over twenty hours straight. I forgot to reply to more than a couple of e-mails.

 

My employer was grateful for my enthusiasm, and said that thought he appreciated my work and that it wasn't a problem for me to work long hours during this hectic time, but he expressed concern for my health and asked me to take it easy if I was feeling overworked.

 

I didn't listen. It was getting harder to stay up for long periods of time, so I started taking energy pills along with the coffee. Another week passed, and I could no longer remember what day it was. I hadn't answered my cell phone in days. There were dark circles under my eyes. But through it all, I just kept working.

 

Nobuo still hadn't responded.

 

I don't know what day it happened, or even what time it was, just that I was standing, about to go get another cup of coffee when it happened. My vision blurred, and I think someone asked me if I was alright. I put my hand on the side of my desk to steady myself, but for some reason it put me even more off balance.

 

As I started to fall, all I was thinking was that there was no one left in my life to catch me.

 

And then it went black.

 

---

 

Hey Nana, laying in that hospital bed, only half-conscious, I realized that I no longer call Nobuo `Nobu'. I don't even know why.

 

When did I become so distant?