Nana Fan Fiction ❯ Regrets ❯ The Terashima Nobuo Side Story ( Chapter 6 )

Title: Regrets
Author: hostilecrayon
Fandom: NANA
Pairing: Nobuo/Hachi
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Angst, Spoilers for up to the end of the anime/manga Chapter 84.
Disclaimer: Nana is property of Ai Yazawa, Cookie and Viz Media.
Word Count: 811
Notes: For those of you who have read the manga (and if you're reading this, I'd hope you have…), you probably noticed the couple of side stories that occur. That's what this is. Not really a chapter, and yet still part of the story. This is the Nobuo side story, and if this story goes on for a little while, there might end up being a Shinichi side story, too. Also, please note that there is not the traditional “Hey Nana” opening or ending because this is Nobuo's point of view. That sort of opening is only for Hachi.

 

 

The Terashima Nobuo Side Story

 

I knew she was the one for me the first time I saw her. Some people might think that's an exaggeration, but I think it's a lot closer to the notion of true love. I guess you could say I'm a bit of a hopeless romantic. That can be seen pretty easily by the fact that I still can't get over her.

 

When I showed up in Tokyo, my only thoughts were of playing my guitar for Oosaki Nana. But when I met with her in her apartment, she introduced me to the other Nana, the Nana our group has come to refer to as Hachi, or Hachikou, our loyal dog. She not really a dog, of course, and though she can be cute and is ever loyal to the members of the former Black Stones, I've never thought of her as such. Hachi was just a cute nickname and an easy way to tell the two apart.

 

Oosaki may have wanted to keep her as a pet, but I wanted to make her my wife.

 

But I guess I'm getting ahead of myself. After all, Oosaki Nana isn't Oosaki anymore. And Komatsu Nana isn't Komatsu, either. Therein lies my problem.

 

Ichinose Nana is no longer free to be taken.

 

If you would have asked me then why I fell for Hachi, I probably would have spouted out all sorts of romantic nonsense, but I've grown up since then, and I'm able to see things for what they really were. Nana was right about me. I wanted to play the hero. But even more than that, there is something about her personality that resonates with mine. Even now, when I am near her, I feel pulled into this juxtaposition, and I think even if twenty years went by, I would feel the same.

 

But unlike then, the closer we get, the clearer I can see the danger now. As much as I crave being near her, I understand that we aren't kids anymore, and there are some things that just can't be changed.

 

Hachi has become a woman. In many ways, she is more elegant and beautiful than ever. But time has not been good to the relationship between us. It has been forever tainted by the choices we made before we were old enough to really make them. I have this bad habit of asking myself what could have been if only I had done things differently, but it's much too late for that. Hindsight, as they say, is always twenty twenty.

 

In reality, I haven't changed as much as I'd like to think. Here I am, lying in Hachi's bed, surrounded by her smell of warm vanilla with just a hint of cinnamon, and it makes it impossible to convince myself that I've given up on the idea of her and me. It's times like these that I think that we couple recapture what we once had. Sometimes it seems it might even be as easy as just capturing her lips with mine. But I know better.

 

Where would we go from there? Hachi may be separated from Takumi, but she is still married. She still has Satsuki, a constant reminder of the past. It has been years since we were together. I don't even know how she feels about me now.

 

Would I be so easily discarded a second time?

 

I've had my fair share of relationships since that time, but it's hard to keep a relationship going when you judge your significant other by how they compare to someone else. In the end, no one ever measures up. I never stopped loving her, and I brought that with me into my other relationships.

 

It's no wonder I'm single now.

 

I'm not as bitter as I once was, but I still can't help but steer clear of starting new relationships. I tried and I failed. It's just how the cards fell.

 

Maybe I didn't try hard enough. Nana was right, yet again. I gave her up too easily. For her happiness, I'd said. Neither of us ended up with happiness, but that's just something I have to accept.

 

Even if, by some random stroke of luck, we were together again, I don't know that it could be the same. I don't know if I could trust so easily. She will always have my heart, but my blind faith in the goodness of our relationship is something lost in the past.

 

We aren't children anymore, and that childlike purity will never return.

 

I wish I had my guitar. Instead, I'll just burrow myself deeper into this bed that smells of things I lost before I even knew what I had and think about the warmth of her hand that I felt only moments ago; a hand that no longer bore the ring of reminder.

 

So much for giving up.