Naruto Fan Fiction / Naruto Shippuden Fan Fiction ❯ Every Light on this Path is For You ❯ Fight or Flight ( Chapter 3 )

Disclaimer: The characters, items, places etc of Naruto are property of Masashi Kishimoto. These objects are used without permission for entertainment only, not for making money. No infringement is intended.

Chapter 1: Fight or Flight

"Oi, Itachi."

Itachi moaned irritably as he felt Deidara's fingers in his ribs for the third time that evening, jolting him from the nap he had been attempting to take on the other's shoulder.

"Are you that bored?" Deidara asked, amusement in his eyes as Itachi finally sat up and rubbed at his thankfully contact-free eyes. "You keep doing this to me, yeah."

Neither of them wanted to bring up the reason why Itachi was suddenly falling asleep early in the evening. Deidara felt his smile fade as he thought it over, aware Itachi was sacrificing his studying in the evenings to spend time with him- he had it in his head that Deidara wanted it, but in reality all Deidara wanted was for Itachi to learn how to moderate his time.

Itachi's latest scheme had been going on for a few days, ever since their discussion regarding time spent together. He'd taken to setting an alarm for two am and quietly slipping from the bed to study before Deidara awoke at five, following the loss of his usual evening work time.

He had been attempting to keep it a secret, never bringing it up with Deidara and lying when he was asked how long he had been awake.

Little did he know Deidara always awoke to the hastily shut-off alarm anyway and simply pretended to be asleep to save the confrontation he knew would happen if he voiced his thoughts.

He dropped back off quickly but when he awoke at five and found his partner still at his desk, feigning that he'd woken only five minutes or so beforehand, he'd felt a little upset.

Perfect Itachi he could handle. Attempting-to-be-imperfect Itachi who lied and jumped to ridiculous conclusions rather than discussing things like an adult. Deidara wasn't quite sure where he stood with that. The white lies were harmless and all designed for Itachi to keep face, but that didn't mean Deidara liked it.

Once again, he kept his mouth closed and didn't voice what was going on in his mind. Itachi was looking exhausted, but he was clearly trying so hard to make the effort to stay awake that Deidara took pity on him and rose from the sofa.

"Early night?" He suggested, beckoning to the living room door.

Itachi looked as though he might want to protest but his fatigue ruled him, leaving him to stand and follow Deidara through to the bedroom regardless.

Not a word had been said about Itachi's father since the man's visit a few days prior. Deidara had decided against bringing it up, not wanting to bring attention to it since Itachi himself seemed to be quite good at ignoring it. The man had said he would be in contact and they both sincerely hoped it would be some time soon.

Itachi was the master of disguising how he really felt about the situation- as with all things- leaving Deidara wondering just what was going on in his boyfriend's mind, as usual.

He did know that Itachi attempting to survive on three hours of sleep a night wasn't particularly healthy, however. Itachi didn't function well on low amounts of sleep like Deidara himself did and predictably, he fell asleep almost the moment his head touched the pillow.

Deidara stayed curled with him just a little bit longer, making certain Itachi was in a deep enough sleep before he slipped from the bed and headed to the notes on the bedroom desk. His eyes caught sight of the wireless mouse, googly eyes still attached, and had to stifle a soft chuckle.

What had happened to those days? He sat at the desk, eyes falling to Itachi's notes in front of him. Deidara had felt free- the world was his canvas and Itachi was his reluctant friend, disapproving but rarely ever stopping him from doing anything because he longed to see the artist happy.

Somewhere along the way, Deidara felt as though his wings had been filled with lead, keeping him grounded and unable to express himself as he once used to. It was nothing to do with Itachi or their partnership- if Deidara allowed himself to think about it, it was himself holding back. Why, though?

As his eyes scanned the papers in front of him, he got his answer. Itachi was a mess. As a person, he was kind and considerate with seemingly no cares in his perfect life but Deidara was now close enough to him to know better about the latter.

Beneath the facade there was a broken young man, desperate for approval from the world around him and shaped by beliefs that were outdated.

The more Deidara saw of the true Itachi the more he felt he had to guard him, so he had locked away his more childish, artistic side in an attempt to become a protector.

That protector in him wanted to take Itachi's notes and burn them to stop him from getting up to study with them, exam be damned, but that wasn't sensible and nor was it moral. Nothing was wrong with sketching on them, though.

He grinned and picked up the stray pen on the desk, drawing cartoon cats and mice on the important looking page. Mice, he realised once he had drawn one, that looked suspiciously like a computer mouse with a familiar set of googly eyes.

By the time he got into the bed, Deidara was satisfied with his work. He hadn't obscured any of the neat script handwriting on the page but there was barely a margin left untouched by his flair. It had felt good- really good, and made him feel a little bit like he was regaining his wings.

It also meant he slept through the two am alarm that buzzed thirty minutes later, leaving him to awaken naturally at his usual five to an empty bed.

"Itachi," he called softly to alert his partner. Itachi was sitting at his desk, glasses in place and desk lamp on as he wrote notes. "You've got to stop doing this."

"Doing what?" Itachi asked, his pen still gliding scratchily across the paper swiftly.

"Don't act innocent, yeah. I'm a light sleeper- I know you've been getting up early to study."

"Not much earlier," Itachi attempted to argue, but Deidara simply glared at his back firmly and refused to argue the lie. Itachi appeared to sense it and sighed, putting down the pen to spin around and face his partner with the truth.

"I have an exam the day after tomorrow," he admitted. "I need to study but I like how we spend our evenings- this is a compromise."

"If you had just told me that I'd have understood why you wanted to study more," Deidara reasoned. "Please stop- you look exhausted."

Reluctantly, Itachi rose from the desk and closed the book he had been reading from. "Fine," he murmured softly, returning to the bed and crawling under the cover. Deidara laid back down and curled up into his side, sighing heavily as he did so.

"You want some more sleep?"

"I shouldn't. I won't be alert for college otherwise."

Deidara chuckled at that, giving him a squeeze. "Do you even remember the days where you used to complain about me getting you up at five?" He asked rhetorically. "Now you have to do so?"

"You influence me," Itachi shrugged. "Maybe another half hour wouldn't hurt. What on earth did you do to my notes, anyway? Did you lose your sketchbook or something?"

Deidara laughed at that, smiling widely. "I was inspired, yeah. Did you like them?"

"I did," Itachi replied, his voice soft and content. "Thank you. I needed the laugh. Was there supposed to be a message behind it?"

"No. They were just doodles."

"I thought there was," Itachi told him, his voice taking on a wistful edge. "It seemed like you were referencing how we got here in the first place. You know, playing cat and mouse with each other."

Deidara had to suppress a huge, knowing grin. That had been the message he had been trying to convey despite his words, and he clung to the hope Itachi would see into it even deeper and realise what the art was calling him to remember.

Deidara had loved Itachi when all of their contact came from inadvertent touches or stolen moments. He loved him even when they slept in separate rooms. He definitely loved him when he was accidently imperfect.

They had come a long way to get to where they were, and Deidara had no intentions of walking away from the relationship because they were taking time to mesh well together.

However, he realised he had been too hopeful when Itachi didn't elaborate any further, eyes closed as his breathing began to even out sleepily.

"I'll wake you and make sure you aren't late, yeah," he reassured softly.

"What if you fall asleep?" Itachi murmured, tightening his grip on Deidara.

"I won't."

"You might."

Deidara untangled himself from Itachi and got out of the bed, ignoring the frown he received for doing so. "Now I can't," he admonished. "I'll come and wake you soon, yeah."

He didn't feel bad about his decision to leave when Itachi nodded and turned over to make himself more comfortable, slipping from the room quietly to let him have peace. He also didn't feel bad in the slightest when he 'forgot' to wake him the desired half an hour later, opting to give him much longer than that instead.

As Itachi ran around frantically at eight fifteen attempting to get ready on time, Deidara simply observed with a tiny smile of satisfaction on his face.

The satisfaction didn't last very long. Just under twenty four hours later he was roused by the alarm clock at their side, the disappointing display reading two am once again. Itachi didn't even stir to it- a sure sign of heavy fatigue.

Deidara wished he wasn't so perceptive sometimes, sighing as he reached out and reset it for five am. He had easily picked up on the subtle signs that his now-boyfriend had held a soft spot for him for the better part of a year for example, so it was no surprise he picked up on the less-than-subtle signs of Itachi attempting to do more than he was capable of now.

"You know you can't change overnight, don't you?" He murmured softly into Itachi's ear, voicing his thoughts. The other was unable to hear thanks to his peaceful slumber, but that was exactly how Deidara wanted it.

Once again, he cursed his own observance. He'd been watching Itachi work that evening under the guise of sketching while sitting on the bed behind him- it hadn't taken much convincing to tell Itachi study that evening since the exam was the next day, but Deidara was becoming convinced it didn't matter either way.

Itachi was far too prideful to admit it, but Deidara could see he was struggling with something- either the work or his own concentration on it, and he had a suspicion it was the latter.

Of course, he was condemned into silence yet again. He had finally tried to bring it up and had been shot down rapidly, the look in Itachi's eye asking him not to speak of it anymore. Deidara respected his boyfriend and had honoured the unspoken request, but that didn't mean he agreed.

Something wasn't right with his boyfriend, and they both were acutely aware of what that something was- even if they didn't discuss it.

The puzzle was a clear one to solve in Deidara's talented mind. Itachi cared more about his father's opinion than he let on, and was unable to concentrate for thinking about it. Obvious, yet impossible to approach- the worst kind of problem. He sighed and curled his arms around Itachi tighter, burying his face in his side.

If he didn't do something, Itachi would give himself a whole host of new problems in his bid to rid himself of his complex. Unfortunately, no answers presented themselves to him as he fell into a troubled sleep, wondering on the edge of his consciousness if the answers would come to him in a dream.

When he awoke to the alarm he had reset a couple of hours later he was disappointed to learn that he had dreamt of nothing at all, and that Itachi had snuck out of bed at some point.

He caught the guilty glance Itachi gave him over his shoulder but they both stayed quiet, the silence doing the talking for them. It was a unanimous 'I'm sorry', though for differing reasons. 'I'm sorry I can't help you'. 'I'm sorry it has to be this way'.

"Don't you care?" Deidara found himself saying before he could stop himself. Itachi narrowed his eyes in confusion, spinning around to face him. "Don't you care?" He stressed again, desperation lacing his voice.

"What are you talking about?"

Deidara gave no response, leaving the room instead. He didn't want to ask the question in the first place, let alone elaborate on it. He knew Itachi cared about their relationship and he knew he cared about his studies, but what Deidara really wanted to know was if Itachi bothered to leave some space to care for his own health and welfare amongst all of that.

Instead of resting before his exam he had once again slipped out of the bed to study, discontent with using his whole evening to do so already. Did he care about himself?

So far the answer was 'no', which was troubling for the artist who felt that to love others, one had to love themselves first. He drowned the thought under the shower instead, unwilling to think it, feel it, anything. Itachi had spent months burying his head in the metaphorical sand, and Deidara had no qualms with attempting a little of it himself.

Things were going to be okay, he decided. Even if just inside his mind for now, things were going to be just fine. Itachi would take the exam, score 100% as he always did, and things would hopefully revert back to a sense of normality. No, he corrected- not hopefully. They would, and he would see to it personally if it was within his power to do so.

Itachi had instructed Deidara to make his own way home that day- his exam was going to run over normal college hours, which was a common issue. Deidara had shrugged and caught the oddly punctual bus instead, humming to himself as he fixed up something to eat and a coffee.

He had grown a surprising taste for the latter in his time with Itachi around, just like Itachi had grown to like the googly eyes that randomly appeared on objects around the home.

With that thought in mind, he procured some of the aforementioned eyes and glanced around for a new target, finally settling on Itachi's clock in the bedroom. Nodding in satisfaction at his handiwork, he took in the time it read and frowned slightly. It was approaching five already- surely Itachi would be home soon?

By the time six thirty rolled around, Deidara was panicking.

Itachi hated distractions, and therefore would under no circumstances divert anywhere on the way home without planned reason to do so. A quick check of the fridge and cupboards told Deidara they weren't in need of any groceries and even if they were, Itachi would have said he was going to stop at the store on the way back. He would have said if he was going anywhere but straight home, because this was Uchiha Itachi- predictable in his perfect routines.

Deidara tentatively pulled his mobile phone from his pocket, frowning at it as he attempted to navigate the menu on it. Money had been tight when he'd lived with his mother and even tighter when he'd lived alone, so unlike most people his age he'd never owned one before.

Itachi had insisted he wanted to rectify that when Deidara had agreed to their relationship, doing so with what Deidara thought was possibly the smallest and most complex mobile phone in the world.

He eventually found the text message function, swearing at the phone when he realised it was predicting his text and would almost definitely not predict the name 'Itachi' when he attempted to type it. He had no idea how to turn it off so he settled for a simple 'where are you', watching the flashing envelope on the screen as it shot the message off into the atmosphere.

Deidara wasn't normally stressed by time so he waited without complaint for the message to be picked up and replied to. While patience wasn't exactly his virtue, he wasn't impatient either and was often the one to keep people waiting himself.

Something, he noted with a small frown, that Itachi had managed to force out of him by being the only one that could drive and Deidara's now-usual ride to places. Itachi liked to be punctual to the point he felt he was late if he wasn't early- another reason that caused panic to rise up within Deidara once more regarding his disappearance.

The message went still went answered. All pretences of patience shattered, Deidara found himself dialling the number instead, counting the rings that assaulted his ear. Once it reached six he found himself biting his lip in frustration- six was more than enough for it to be pulled from his partner's pocket and answered, right?

Upon the ninth ring it connected, getting Deidara's hopes up for just a second until he realised it was the answer phone greeting him.

'You've reached Itachi. Leave your name so I can call you back.'

Deidara rolled his eyes at the generic message. Trust his partner to have the most boring answer phone message known to man. He had a simple ring tone on his phone as well and he hadn't been impressed at Deidara's attempt to 'spice it up' a little- quite literally, in fact. Apparently Itachi didn't like the Spice Girls- who'd have known? Deidara certainly did now.

"Itachi, where are you?" He asked the answer phone before hanging up with a long, heavy sigh. He flipped the phone over in his hands for a minute or so before deciding to call again just in case Itachi hadn't heard it the first time.

This time, it connected directly to the answer phone. It was almost as though it had been switched off.

Time for Plan B. Deidara hadn't wanted to go down this route but when the other ones had failed him, he felt he had no choice. He swept quickly through the house phone's phonebook and selected a familiar name, hoping he would get a response from this Uchiha at least.

"Sasuke," he greeted sharply. "Your brother is missing."

"Missing?" Sasuke echoed, any teasing comment he may have had about Deidara calling him staying in his mind and not on his lips with the news.

"He had an exam today, yeah. He hasn't come home and he should have been back at least an hour ago."

Sasuke sighed heavily, and Deidara could almost see him rolling his eyes. "Leave it with me," he declared before hanging up, leaving Deidara to listen to the dial tone on the other end. He slowly set the phone down and took up residence on the windowsill overlooking the garden, waiting.

Something wasn't right. As much as he tried to ignore it, he just knew it.

Chapter End