Naruto Fan Fiction / Naruto Shippuden Fan Fiction ❯ Every Light on this Path is For You ❯ Keep Trying ( Chapter 4 )

Disclaimer: The characters, items, places etc of Naruto are property of Masashi Kishimoto. These objects are used without permission for entertainment only, not for making money. No infringement is intended.

Chapter 4: Keep Trying

Clicking the front door closed behind him a number of streets away, Sasuke also knew something was amiss. He wasn't going to admit it to Deidara because quite frankly, he didn't want to talk to him- he wanted to go and fetch his brother, not make small talk with the idiot.

He had no idea what had transpired over the last few days but he had no need to. He was blessed with knowing his brother well, and he had one place to check before he started to worry about the disappearance. Until then he thrust his hands into his coat pockets and waited patiently for a bus at the end of his street.

Once aboard, he attempted to dial Itachi's mobile and was unsurprised to find it switched off. It only cemented his decision that he would know where to find his brother, and despite Deidara's concerns it wasn't going to be anything sinister.

He scowled with disdain as he jumped off the bus at his stop twenty minutes or so away, the cold chill in the air taking his breath away. It was a coastal town- beautiful and the star of many postcards for the local area, it was somewhere Itachi had taken him to when they had been younger.

He had fond memories of being eleven or twelve, happy to be in the company of his elder teenage brother who didn't mind spending time with him despite the age difference.

His footsteps were audible as he walked along the sodden pavement, ears picking up the sound of an arcade jingle as he turned a corner and headed down a hill. With it came the vision of sea, spreading out before him- vast and choppy, with sudden harsh winds to accompany it, had Sasuke pulling his coat tighter around himself and burying his hands deeply into his pockets.

It wasn't a pleasant day in the slightest and the coastal town was taking its usual battering with the nasty weather. Such was the folly of seaside towns, Sasuke lamented to himself with a tiny, nostalgic smile. They had experienced how different coastal weather was many times, having been caught out in it before.

He reached the seafront, the sound of the machines inside the arcades nearby attempting to lure him inside with melodic jingles and happy catchphrases. This time he ignored them, along with the ice cream store on the corner Itachi always bought from. He wasn't here for recreation today.

The pier stretched ahead of him and he crossed the empty road- the place was deserted, partly to do with the weather and also because most of the town's younger generations congregated at the other end where all the interesting arcade machines and restaurants were.

The end Sasuke was at was considered the less desirable side to be at in the evenings to teenagers in flashy cars, but alive with children and families in the day.

Sasuke had known even at his young age that Itachi liked to bring him here because he too loved it. He and his brother both cherished the presence of the sea and as a result, tended to gravitate to it when upset about something.

Sasuke hadn't known that originally- it was only when he had come to this exact same pier that he was currently treading, attempting to retreat from the woes of life, and discovered his brother in his own usual spot had he realised they'd had the same idea.

He was unsurprised to see a lone figure at the edge of the pier, walking slowly across the wooden planks as though the person had no care for how drenched they were. Picking up the pace, Sasuke found himself half-walking half-jogging in the person's direction, hoping he hadn't been out in the rain for too long.

He stopped by his brother's side, not looking at him nor saying a single word. Itachi halted for a moment before continuing his walk, one hand outstretched to catch the rainfall. His cheeks were drenched with rainwater or tears- perhaps both, Sasuke mused as he caught back up to his side, seeing the melancholy look on his face.

He was shivering so violently Sasuke shrugged his own coat from his shoulders, forcefully pushing it in Itachi's direction. Itachi stared at it for a long moment, halting once more- they were at the end of the pier now, after all.

"How did you know I would be here?" Itachi eventually asked as he slipped the extra coat over his shoulders without complaint.

Sasuke frowned slightly- normally Itachi wouldn't have taken it from him, adamant that Sasuke himself needed it. He edged closer to his brother until he was standing directly up against his side, wrapping an arm around his waist to discover he was shaking with cold.

"You always used to come here when something's getting to you," he murmured, wishing to transfuse his own meagre heat into Itachi. "It's been a while since you pulled a vanishing act to do so, though."

"Deidara called you?"

"He's worried."

Itachi turned to face the sea ahead of them instead, exhaling heavily and closing his eyes as he spoke. "I think I failed my exam today."

"So? You can re-sit it."

"You don't understand-"

"No," Sasuke interrupted. "I understand. Failing it ruins your perfect track record- who cares? You're not supposed to be caring about that anymore."

"I can't turn it on and off like a switch, Sasuke."

"You're trying to, though. What makes you think you failed? Knowing you, you're stressing over one question that might have knocked you down to ninety-eight percent."

"No," Itachi shook his head firmly. "I'm not being paranoid. If I can manage to pass an exam I spent half of the time I was present for staring out of the window, I'll be impressed."

"You probably can. This is you, remember?"

"Yes," Itachi snapped back sharply. "Perfect, infallible Itachi. I'm acutely aware of my legacy, Sasuke, but I don't think I'm going to be living up to it this time."

"There's more isn't there?" Sasuke asked slowly, taking in Itachi's edgy composure and apparent assurance he had done terribly. "What happened?"

Itachi's eyes flickered for a moment, confirming Sasuke's theory. "I arrived late," he whispered, resting his head on Sasuke's shoulder. Sasuke let him, tightening his grasp around him a little. The gesture was a clear call for comfort, and he was willing to give it.

"I was an hour late, in fact," Itachi continued, his voice a murmur. "I fell asleep in the library. I'm lucky they even let me sit the exam at all- I told them my watch was an hour out and because I've always had good conduct, they believed me. They weren't allowed to award me any extra time though."

"How long was the exam in total?"

"An hour and a half. It would have been alright if I'd been able to concentrate, I might have caught up enough but I couldn't. I've barely stopped thinking about Dad, Sasuke- I need to know what he thinks but he just isn't calling me to say."

"I hate to break it to you, but if he wants to avoid the subject he'll never call."

"I know. That makes it worse."

Sasuke sighed, pursuing his lips at what he was about to have to say. "Look," he remarked quietly. "Deidara really likes you. He's sitting at your shared home right now, panicking about you. If you asked him he would tell you he doesn't give a fuck about the exam, right?"

Itachi looked a little guilty, closing his eyes instead of replying.

"He would also stay with you if you wanted him there, approval from Dad or not," Sasuke continued. "And if you asked him to leave, he would. He did when you told him to once already! Honestly, which do you want, Itachi? Dad's approval or your boyfriend?"

"Deidara," Itachi answered immediately.

"Right. So why do you care what Dad thinks of you?"

"It's complicated," Itachi finally settled on saying, when the only answers he could give were unreasonable.

Sasuke didn't push the issue, wincing as a cold chill circled them. Itachi was still shivering beneath the borrowed coat, leaving Sasuke to attempt to do something beneficial for them both.

"Did you drive here?"

"Yes."

"Then let's get in the car, please? It's absolutely freezing out here."

Itachi gave him the barest of smiles and pulled the borrowed coat off of his shoulders, handing it back to Sasuke. Sasuke hesitated but Itachi's firm glance told him that the kind gesture had now outworn its welcome, leaving him to slip it gladly back over his shoulders.

"Bet you don't want ice cream from that shop today," Sasuke challenged as they walked the length of the pier back towards civilisation, attempting to keep the tone good natured. Itachi accepted what he was doing and indulged the conversation.

"Mind if I get a coffee before we leave?"

"If you want."

"Thanks," Itachi remarked dismally, shoving his numb hands into the pockets of his jeans. He was drenched by the fine mist of rain that was currently assaulting them- the heavier rain had died off a little, but they would both agree misty rain was a thousand times worse anyway.

Once they had crossed the street, they entered the arcade that the ice cream store was a part of. The outside counter was closed but the inner one was open and, thankfully, serving coffee.

"If we're going to stay out any longer you should warn Deidara where you are," Sasuke suggested gently.

"Since when did you care how he feels?" Itachi asked, raising an amused eyebrow as Sasuke sulked in response. Regardless he took the hint, pulling his phone from his pocket to put his partner out of his misery.

Deidara's panicked voice answered the phone and he felt instantly sorry for not thinking to warn him what he had been doing. "Deidara, it's me. I'm fine."

Deidara didn't reply for a moment before finally, Itachi heard him sigh in relief. "I was worried, yeah. Where are you?"

"I'm coming home shortly," Itachi promised, sidestepping the question. "I have Sasuke with me."

"Sasuke? He found you?"

"He had a feeling for where I would be."

"And he didn't tell me? That little brat, I'm going to kill him!"

Itachi smiled at that, eyes shooting across to his brother. Sasuke had his eye on the arcade behind them, apparently enthralled by either a nostalgic thought or something in his line of sight.

"See you soon, Deidara," he murmured before hanging up, eyes still on Sasuke.

"I didn't tell him because I wanted this to be our private place," Sasuke volunteered after a moment or so of silence, his sharp hearing apparently having picked up Deidara's tinny threat. "Sorry."

"Don't apologise. I shouldn't have done it anyway."

"Itachi?" Sasuke uttered softly when they'd been standing in silence for another few long moments, his eyes still on the arcade. "Can we come back here sometime? Like when we were younger?"

Itachi smiled at that, reaching across and giving Sasuke a rare embrace with a soft chuckle.

"Of course," he replied when he let go, flicking his brother's forehead affectionately. "Just name a time and date."

"Whenever. You can bring the idiot too, if you want."

"Didn't you just say you wanted this place to be our private spot?"

"I meant the pier when we're..." Sasuke trailed off, exhaling air in such a manner it disturbed his bangs instead of completing his sentence.

"When we need space or somewhere to go and think?" Itachi finished instead, unsurprised at the positive nod he received in reply. "We don't need to tell him that. For now though, why do you go and do something fun? I'll need to wait for my coffee to cool down anyway."

He held out a note, seeing Sasuke's eyes light up. He didn't hesitate in taking it, giving his elder sibling a tiny smile before vanishing into the sounds and sights of the arcade ahead of him. Itachi watched him go before sighing heavily and making his way back to the counter deep in thought.

Being perfect wasn't enough. Being im perfect wasn't enough. The cliche answer that he should just be himself and stop trying so hard flitted to mind, but he dismissed it- how could he be himself when he didn't know who 'himself' was anymore?

With a drink in hand a few minutes later, he went to find Sasuke. He was, predictably, brandishing a gun and shooting zombies on a large screen with remarkable accuracy- he was always attracted to the gun games, much to their parents' dismay.

He acknowledged Itachi with a quick nod before returning his attention to the game, leaving Itachi to simply stand by and watch.

Sasuke was equally perfect most of the time, Itachi noted to himself. Why couldn't he simply accept that in himself? Most of the time was perfectly reasonable, after all.

He watched as Sasuke cursed lightly when one of his shots went astray, picking it back up perfectly on the next one and continuing flawlessly. Technically Sasuke was more perfect than he, because he could balance both ends of the scale so well.

Itachi had no idea that he'd ever feel quite so humbled by watching someone kill zombies in a game.

"How do you do it?" He murmured quietly, his voice barely audible over the sound of gunshots.

"You shoot the zombies," Sasuke replied flatly, misinterpreting the question. "And they die. It's pretty simple."

Itachi didn't elaborate, setting his drink down and slipping a coin into the other side of the machine. He'd never played such games before, but that was the entire point of the exercise. Contrary to popular belief, perfection in all fields rarely came easily to each person and one thing Itachi had never quite grasped was right in front of him.

Aim, point, shoot. Simple, right?

Sasuke didn't batter an eyelid at his entry to the game, telling him to cover left while he went right as though they had been playing together all along. Itachi took his first shot and, despite his lack of experience, landed it perfectly. He blinked in surprise- that was unexpected.

Together they completed the level, Sasuke turning to Itachi and raising a suspicious eyebrow. "Do you have to be naturally perfect at everything?"

"I didn't think I would be," Itachi admitted, lowering his gun and frowning in confusion. "I was hoping I wouldn't be, actually."

"Why?"

"If I screw up enough times maybe my mind will accept that I need to be more normal."

Sasuke slid the gun he was holding back into the holder and ignored the still running game with a small smile. He beckoned to Itachi, who did the same and followed Sasuke further into the arcade, sipping his now-warm coffee.

"You want to suck at something, right?"

"That's the short way of putting it."

"There."

Sasuke pointed to a machine ahead of them, music blaring from the overheard speakers and a happy voice declaring that they should 'come and play!'

Itachi recoiled, taking a step backwards in what Sasuke could only describe as horror. "No," he remarked firmly. "No dance games."

"You'll definitely suck at it! Give it a try."

"Absolutely not! There are people-"

Sasuke began to push him towards the machine, surprisingly strong against Itachi's resistance struggling.

"No! Sasuke!"

"Just go and make a fool of yourself so you can fix whatever's wonky in your brain," Sasuke demanded, succeeding in shoving Itachi up onto the elevated dance platform and snatching the coffee in his hands. "Then we can go home before your boyfriend calls the police and organises a search party."

"That's true. We should go home, I did tell him I'd be back soon."

"Nice try, but you're the one that abandoned him. Play the game."

Sasuke was aware Itachi must have really wanted to sort himself out, because normally he'd have been halfway to the door if something threatened his perfect persona.

However he was reluctantly scrolling through the list of available songs, nervously glancing over his shoulder at the uninterested people around them.

It wasn't crowded- a handful of people at the most, in fact, and none of them seemed to be taking any notice of him.

Thirty seconds later, Sasuke was a mixture of proud and confused. Itachi was, predictably, terrible at the game but he was trying and that was what counted.

"You've come so far," Sasuke murmured as he snapped a couple of photos on his phone. "You don't even realise it, do you?"

Itachi was going to kill him for taking photos of the venture, but Sasuke felt Deidara needed proof of what had transpired. He may not feel very strongly for his brother's choice of partner but when it came to Itachi's happiness, Sasuke would do anything within his power to assure it. As much as he hated to admit it, he and Deidara were on the same side and agreed on that much at least.

Deidara jumped off the windowsill as soon as he saw Itachi and Sasuke at the front gate. Both of them were suffering from the pitfalls of the weather- slightly frizzy hair and visibly damp clothing. Deidara smiled just a little as Sasuke irritably ran a hand through his locks, the style slightly beaten out of it.

Itachi would normally have done something about _his_ hair, too. He looked pretty cute as he brushed a hand through his ponytail with a soft sigh, leaving the messy hair as it was instead of fixing it.

The rain had only started up with the last hour and hadn't been that bad from where Deidara had observed on the windowsill, but wherever the two brothers had been seemed to have been much stormier.

"You're soaked," he remarked when he opened the front door for them, smiling as Itachi lowered the key he had been about to put into the lock. "Get inside, come on."

"I'm sorry," Itachi told him, immediately pulling Deidara into a tight hug coupled with a guilty kiss. "I should have called. I just needed some space to think, that's all."

"What's done is done, yeah. Don't worry about it- go and get changed, you'll catch a cold otherwise."

Itachi did as suggested, leaving Deidara alone in the hallway with Sasuke. The younger Uchiha didn't seem to be as wet as Itachi, but his shirt underneath the open coat he was wearing was, strangely, the dampest thing he seemed to be wearing.

There was only about an inch or so between them in height and they shared a similar build. Deidara sighed before pulling his jumper off, tossing it in Sasuke's direction. He had a t-shirt on underneath- he was warm enough and could do without the extra layer.

Surprisingly, Sasuke didn't give a snarky response to the unspoken gesture. He caught the item deftly, nodding a thank you before reaching into his pocket for something. Deidara frowned as he pulled out his mobile and flicked through it for something. He found it, holding out a photograph for Deidara to see with a smirk on his face.

Deidara took the phone in question as Sasuke quickly stripped his top, slipping the proffered jumper over his head. On the screen was a photograph of Itachi, attempting to play a familiar looking dance game that had taken the world by storm a few years beforehand.

Deidara blinked a few times in disbelief. The picture didn't change.

"What the hell?" He finally articulated.

"Itachi is trying," Sasuke replied, taking his phone back. "You're not putting any pressure on him, are you?"

"No, of course not!"

"It wasn't an accusation," Sasuke clarified. "It was a genuine question. He hasn't got a clue what he's doing and he's more messed up than I've seen in years, but that's because it's the first time he'd ever had a real reason to care about anything but being perfect."

"If he could be perfect and still be happy I wouldn't mind," Deidara said quietly. "But he can't be."

"My brother has been unhappy for a long time," Sasuke admitted. "But he's happier now he's with you." He put a hand to his forehead, looking troubled. "You know how hard that is for me to admit? You'd better not hurt him, you hear me? I will kill you."

"I have no intention of doing so, yeah. How many times do I have to tell you that?"

Sasuke opened his mouth to snap something sharp in response, but Itachi's reappearance at the end of the hall silenced him. He turned, giving Itachi a short wave instead.

"I'm going home," he declared.

"You should have said- I'd have given you a lift on the way."

"I had something to do here," Sasuke replied with a shrug, eyes flicking across to Deidara. Deidara caught it, meeting his eye with a chuckle. Itachi frowned and looked between them, confused.

"Return the top next time you visit," Deidara told him as Sasuke opened the front door.

"Sure, whatever. Later Blondie."

"Bye, Uchiha."

The door closed and Deidara turned to Itachi, who was smiling about something.

"I'm glad you're getting on with each other better," he noted before heading for the living room. Deidara shook his head indignantly, following swiftly.

"I hate him, yeah! I'm just being nice for your sake!"

"Of course you are."

Once they were together on the sofa, Itachi lying with his head in Deidara's lap tiredly and the artist running a hand through his still messy hair, Deidara spoke up.

"What did you need to think about?"

He felt Itachi stiffen, regretting the question immediately. However he did receive an answer- it wasn't a useful one, nor was it informative, but it was an answer in the very least.

"I'll tell you if it becomes relevant."

Deidara nodded, not wishing to disturb the gentle ambience between them by pushing the matter. Later was better than never, right?

Chapter End