Naruto Fan Fiction / Naruto Shippuden Fan Fiction ❯ My Big Gay Path Wedding ❯ For Richer ( Chapter 4 )

Disclaimer: The characters, items, places etc of Naruto are property of Masashi Kishimoto. These objects are used without permission for entertainment only, not for making money. No infringement is intended.

Chapter 4: For Richer

Much too soon for Itachi and Deidara, the stag night rolled around. Kisame and Sasuke hadn't been talked out of their plan, and had dragged the both of them shopping to choose outfits. Itachi had protested the entire time before Sasuke got annoyed and yanked the shortest black miniskirt he could find off of a hanger, picked up a pair of skyscraper heels and finished the look with a sequined red and white striped top.

Itachi had protested even more, but had then been physically dragged into the changing room by Kisame to try things on. Of course, security had been alerted until Sasuke sweet talked the burly man who had arrived to manhandle Kisame out of the store, explaining the stag night plan and earning a laugh and a wave to continue when Itachi dismally confirmed it.

Deidara, by contrast, had picked his own outfit once he had seen what Sasuke had picked for Itachi. He settled on a white mini skirt, white vest top and white knee high platform boots. He'd even bought a slide for his hair with a white flower on it, much to Sasuke's amusement.

"Are you ready?" Sasuke called, knocking lightly on the bedroom door.

Deidara opened it, grinning as he exited the room clad in his outfit. It looked even tackier on him in person than it had on the hangers, somehow. His hair was loose around his shoulders, teased with curling tongs he had also invested in so that it fell down his back in waves. He had picked up a Wonderbra, suitably stuffed with padding to give him the appearance of breasts to complete the picture.

"Not bad," Sasuke praised, which was high praise indeed coming from him. "You actually look like a girl. How's my brother doing?"

"Sitting on the bed sulking and refusing to change."

"This is absurd!" Itachi called out to them. "That skirt is- is- it's a belt, Sasuke, and have you seen those heels? How am I supposed to walk in those?"

"Just get dressed and shut up," Sasuke sighed, rolling his eyes. "Kisame's already waiting at the train station for us."

Sasuke himself was wearing what the store slogans had described as 'the perfect little black dress'- knee length and clutching to his figure, it didn't look as terrible on him as it should.

He was holding a small black handbag and had a neat silver slide placed into his side parted hair, though sensibly he was wearing flat black shoes. Deidara had, of course, teased him about the slide considering that Sasuke himself had teased him about his own only minutes before.

Itachi eventually opened the door slowly to reveal himself in his outfit. He had left his hair long, though he hadn't styled it at all, and had even resorted to a coat of lip gloss. His sharply narrowed eyes were makeup free however, arms crossed over his chest which was sporting a gel padded bra.

"I can't walk in these," he argued, indicating the shoes.

"Try not to break an ankle," Sasuke told him airily before grabbing his arm and pulling him towards the front door. Itachi yelped and grabbed at the wall, instantly finding himself knocked off balance.

"Couldn't we have got a taxi to the train station?" He protested as he walked precariously down the garden path. Deidara, who was mentally thanking that platforms were easy to walk in compared to heels, walked confidently alongside him with a smirk on his face.

"Because this is more fun," Sasuke replied with a shrug. "You won't care once we get to the bar and get some drinks in you."

"I think I will, if I don't end up hospitalised with a broken neck first," Itachi protested.

Somehow they managed the ten minute walk to the train station without any major catastrophes; though it took twenty five. Considering how slowly they had taken it, that was a win. Kisame was waiting, tapping his watch and shaking his head with a sigh.

"We missed the train," he declared, smirking as he looked between Deidara and Itachi.

There wasn't much he could say about their attire however, considering what he was wearing was short, spangly and silver.

He reached out and prodded Itachi's chest with a lecherous grin. "Gel?" He asked, before groping him.

Deidara swiftly removed the hands invading his boyfriend, glaring at Kisame as he did so.

"He's not actually a woman, yeah. Keep your hands to yourself."

"But he looks so perky!" Kisame protested as Itachi discreetly attempted to straighten out his chest.

"Ever the charmer," Itachi sighed. "Please refrain from such behaviour tonight. I'm feeling rather self conscious as it is, without adding the shame of being thrown out of somewhere because of you."

"Oh by the way Itachi," Sasuke said, looking momentarily shy. "Naruto will be joining us tonight, if that's alright?"

"Of course it is. I was hoping he would come along. I rarely get to see you guys together," Itachi agreed, smiling a little at the look on Sasuke's face.

When the train pulled into the station they piled on, finding a set of seats to sit at. Some younger lads around Sasuke's age snickered as they walked past. Deidara flicked his hair over his shoulder and blew them a kiss, while Itachi wondered if it was actually possible to die of shame.

"Purple," Sasuke mused once they were sitting down. Three pairs of curious eyes turned to him, so he nodded in Itachi's direction. "Did you forget you're wearing a skirt? Sit discretely."

Itachi swiftly readjusted his sitting position, glaring at his sibling before turning his attention to the window. Deidara clasped hold of his arm, leaning against it with a smirk on his lips.

"It'll be fun," he noted. "Just relax, yeah. We aren't the first guys on a stag night dressing up and we won't be the last."

They pulled in at the next stop along the line, which appeared unproductive until the sliding doors between carriages opened. They heard Naruto before they saw him, flanked by another person.

"Hey! Hey guys!" He shouted down the carriage. "Sasuke! Sasukeeeeeeeeee!"

"Shut up," Sasuke hissed at him when he reached their side, a sunny smile on his face as always.

Naruto was wearing a bright orange miniskirt that Itachi swore went out of fashion in the 90s, along with a white blouse and orange flat shoes. Apparently he also didn't want to contend with heels.

"Must you draw attention to yourself constantly?" The younger of the Uchiha siblings asked with tellingly fond exasperation.

"Lighten up," Naruto sulked, poking him in the ribs. "It's a celebration!"

"So you must be Sasuke's brother?" The person Naruto had arrived with asked Itachi, giving him a grin and pointing to himself with one thumb. "I'm Kiba. Dude, I totally ordered you a stripper. She's so hot she's on fire and her tits are incredible."

"Tell me more," Kisame said, immediately springing to life.

"Idiot," Sasuke told him with a sigh. "Did Naruto forget to mention my brother is marrying another guy?"

Kiba considered this for a moment, taking note of Deidara still latched to Itachi's side before shrugging indifferently. "Eh. I can just tell her to go home with me instead then."

"Cancel her," Sasuke told him sharply. "Itachi would kill me if I allowed you to go through with that."

"Aw man, are you serious?"

"You aren't even coming tonight!" Sasuke protested. "You're going to the cinema with a certain someone who probably wouldn't be pleased to hear you talking about taking a stripper home."

"Yeah, but I would have gone to the bar for a stripper. Naruto told me what was going on tonight, so I spent ages finding the best one-"

"You mean the one with the largest breasts-"

"Shush, that's the best one, right?"

"Hinata might disagree. How were you planning on cancelling your date in order to watch the stripper you ordered, then?"

"I wasn't going to cancel! I was going to... Rearrange it. Yeah, that's it. Rearrange."

"You're awful!" Naruto told him firmly. "Hinata deserves to be treated with the utmost respect."

"I do, I do," Kiba sighed, waving a hand at Naruto. "What she can't hear or see doesn't hurt her though, right?"

Itachi decided to keep out of the conversation, as did Deidara, politely pretending it wasn't going on as they watched the scenery fly by. Their stop was the next one- Sasuke and Kisame had a route planned, apparently, and it involved starting in a small pub Kisame gave rave reviews for.

They had even drawn up a map to show the newlyweds-to-be exactly where to go, pouring over it together at Itachi's living room table. Most of the talk had consisted of conflicting opinions of what made a decent pub, which club they should end up at, and which routes to take to walk between them.

The route in question had been chosen for various reasons such as 'this one takes us past that sex shop with the lingerie in the window', 'this one means we get to go into that bar with the hot bar staff'- of course, both Kisame's ideas- and the slightly more sensible 'this one knocks a few minutes off the walk'.

"When can we get changed into normal clothing?" Itachi asked as they got off of the train, once again pulling on the bottom of his skirt in an attempt to make it cover more than it did.

"After a few pubs," Sasuke informed them. "Before we hit the club, don't worry. I want to see you having some fun tonight, not sulking all evening because of your outfit."

Kiba bid them farewell with another congratulations, jogging off down the platform ahead of them. Itachi made their pace slower because of his heels, though he was beginning to get used to them (not that he would admit that).

"Dad will meet us in about an hour at the next bar," Sasuke explained. "He's coming straight from work."

"Didn't you tell him we would be dressing up later in the evening?"

"Yes. Do you really think he'd have agreed to come if he knew we'd be doing this in his presence? You know he wouldn't."

"You aren't quite ready yet- I have something for you," Kisame told them as he reached into a bag slung over his shoulder, pulling out two sets of L plates and sticking one each to Itachi's and Deidara's backs. "Excellent. Can't have hens without L plates."

"Of course not," Itachi sighed, but he didn't protest. L plates, women's clothing- it was all terrible and he was still doing it, so he didn't have much fight left in him.

Upon reaching the first pub, not a single person battered an eyelid at the sight of five guys dressed as women entering the bar. That fact made Itachi feel slightly better, seating himself as far in the corner as he could get while Sasuke went to order drinks.

"What do you mean, you want my ID?" He heard his little brother cry out indignantly. "Here! Seriously, I've never been ID'd before but I dress like this and suddenly I look underage?"

"To be fair on the poor guy you only turned eighteen recently," Itachi pointed out as Sasuke returned, eyes like thunder.

"I don't look underage," Sasuke hissed at him. Itachi dropped the subject, deciding it wasn't worth the hassle. "I don't know what you guys wanted to drink and I don't care. You're having this."

'This' was a cocktail of Sasuke's own making, in a lowball glass and coated with ice. It looked and smelled like death itself. Neither Deidara nor Itachi looked thrilled at the prospect of drinking it, but the pointed glares they received from Sasuke told them they didn't have much of a choice.

"What's in this?" Itachi ventured to ask.

"Drink it."

Deidara and Itachi exchanged a look before doing as they were told. Sasuke looked moments from forcing it down their throats after all, and both of them were acutely aware they weren't going to get out of drinking ludicrous amounts of alcohol that night.

"What did I just drink?" Itachi choked out once the glass was empty.

"The Sasuke Special," Naruto piped up. "He's made me drink it before. I was sick the first time, but you kind of get used to them."

"Wonderful," Itachi remarked. "Care to tell me what's in it?"

"It's a mix of vodka, whiskey and peach schnapps," Sasuke replied with a sigh. "It doesn't taste very nice, but it's become a bit of a tradition with us."

Itachi didn't dare to ask why, too concerned with mentally quelling the fire that burned in his throat thanks to it. Thankfully Kisame noticed his distress and got him something a little more sensible in the form of a coke. Itachi was grateful for about three seconds, right up until he realised upon taking a sip, that it had whiskey in it.

"Please allow me to at least pace the evening," he requested. "I would also like to still be sober when we meet my father."

Deidara, having resigned himself to his fate, took to the idea of getting blindingly drunk a lot easier than Itachi.

By the time they left the first pub, he was already on the way to merry, laughing heartily with Naruto about some joke no-one else found funny. Sasuke had started telling blond jokes to counter them, but was pointedly ignored by both blonds present.

"You are going to get drunk, right?" Kisame asked Itachi worriedly. Itachi raised an eyebrow in question at him for the statement.

"Why are you so concerned if I do or don't?"

"Because it's your stag night!" Kisame protested. "Besides, I told you before- I've never seen you drunk, so it'll be fun."

"There is nothing fun about inebriation. The last time I did it I got so hung over I rather hoped I'd die."

Kisame laughed at that, patting him on the shoulder. "That's the sign of a good night, Itachi."

"If you say so," Itachi muttered before halting where he was standing.

They were outside of the next pub, since it was only a street away, and it seemed his father was already present. He was outside with a pint in his hand, a smile on his face as he casually chatted to a couple of other patrons.

He was still wearing his work shirt but it was un-tucked, top few buttons open and tie missing, giving the appearance of looking more casual than Itachi had ever seen.

"Fucking hell," Sasuke murmured. "Is that our father?"

"Apparently so," Itachi murmured back.

"Mr. Uchiha!" Kisame called, gaining Fugaku's attention. He took one look at the gaggle of 'girls' and sighed, raising one hand to his forehead.

"I thought you boys were playing dress up later," he scolded lightly.

"The plan changed," Sasuke replied smoothly. "Buy us a round, would you?"

"Don't be rude," Itachi told him sharply. "It's nice you could make it, Dad."

"No problem son," Fugaku remarked with a shrug. "I won't be here long though. Your mother will worry. Here."

He handed a note to Kisame, who was standing closest. "I would like to buy a round, and not because Sasuke says so."

They moved to head inside but Fugaku caught Itachi's arm, giving him a pointed look. The other four noticed and swiftly headed inside, leaving father and son together outside.

"I hoped that one day I'd get to see this," he admitted after a moment. "I can't say this is quite how I imagined your life would go, but none the less I'm pleased that you're happy. You are happy, aren't you?"

"Of course!" Itachi replied. "I wouldn't be doing it if I wasn't."

"Then I just have one request for you. Could you involve your mother a little with the wedding plans? I know you'll never be best of friends, but she's anxious to do something useful. She thinks you won't ask her because of your past."

"Does she want to organise the flowers?"

"That would probably be lovely for her. Thank you, Itachi."

"I was going to ask her to do it anyway," Itachi told him with a small smile. "I just hadn't gotten around to it. I've been having some issues I needed to work through."

"Anything you want to discuss?"

"Just me trying to be too perfect again," Itachi summed up with a shrug, not wishing to delve into such a conversation right then.

"You know where I am if you want, son. Now let's go inside and get a drink, shall we?"

They headed inside together, Fugaku grabbing Itachi's arm as he tripped over the step with a sigh.

"Really son, could you at least have worn flat shoes?" He remarked. "I notice none of the others have heels."

"Deidara has platforms," Itachi remarked as he righted himself, cheeks tinged in embarrassment.

"That's nothing compared to what you have on your feet."

"Over here!" Deidara called, beckoning them to a corner table. He had another drink in his hand, holding one out for Itachi. "Vodka and Red Bull. The first drink we shared together, yeah."

"So it was," Itachi mused as he took it, a nostalgic smile on his face as he sat down next to Deidara. Leaning across to him, he brought his lips to his boyfriend's ear. "So have I expanded my garden enough yet?"

Deidara stared at him for a moment before laughing outright. "I admit, I mostly said all that to rile you," he admitted. "It worked, didn't it? You ran off to hide in the bathroom like a teenage girl."

"I'd barely realised I was attracted to you then!" Itachi argued. "Of course you embarrassed me!"

"Would it embarrass you now if I told you I like it when your garden expands?" Deidara replied in a husky whisper, smirking as he noticed Itachi's eyes widen slightly.

"Quiet," Itachi ordered after he had collected his thoughts. "You'll ruin the magic of that memory."

"I'm not a magician but I can make things disappear," Deidara whispered back, tracing the tip of his tongue around Itachi's ear. "If you know what I mean."

"I know exactly what you mean and I bid you to stop it," Itachi hissed. "Wait until later, if you must. My father and brother are at this table!"

"So Dad," Sasuke said, his voice indicating that he was clearly attempting to bury the hatchet between them for the night. "Tell us about your stag night."

"It was your standard affair, son. Lads out on the town for the night dressed in suitable attire having a few too many drinks."

"How boring," Sasuke sighed. "If I ever have a stag night I want something interesting, like a trip to Amsterdam or something. A stag weekend, where we spend the whole time getting high and drinking."

"Amsterdam is kind of boring," Deidara interjected. "Especially De Wallen. It's a depressing hellhole of human trafficking and sex slaves, yeah."

"De Wallen?" Sasuke asked, raising an eyebrow.

"The largest red light district of course," Deidara remarked with a roll of his eyes. "Where else did you think I was talking about?"

"When the fuck did you go to the red light district?"

"I spent two years in Europe not that long ago," Deidara countered. "Of course I visited. I left after two days because I was so fed up with it, yeah."

"Oh well, your loss," Sasuke shrugged. "You won't be coming to my awesome stag night in Amsterdam then."

"Don't you have to get married first to have a stag night?" Fugaku remarked, a hint of an amused smile on his lips.

"Who says you need to get married to go, Sasuke?" Naruto pointed out.

Itachi found himself wincing slightly at the tone of his voice that practically begged Sasuke to admit their relationship. Silence reigned, so he continued when it became clear Sasuke wasn't going to. "We could go and do that anyway."

"Please do," Itachi remarked, hoping to help dispel the atmosphere that had been created slightly by his brother's peace. "Because if you do it for a stag night I'll have to attend, and that plan doesn't sound like my idea of fun."

"Nor mine," Fugaku chipped in. "I would also have to be in attendance, just like I am now. If you do intend to do something like that at any other time, just don't tell your mother. She'd only worry."

"I'm eighteen," Sasuke protested. "I'm not a little kid anymore!"

"You will both always be our children," Fugaku responded sagely. "The inclination to worry doesn't diminish with age, unfortunately."

The conversation stayed amicable and easygoing, Fugaku opting to buy the next two rounds of drinks before they decided to move on to the next pub. By then the alcohol was beginning to take effect, meaning 'the fun part of the evening is starting' according to one rather tipsy Sasuke.

"I'll be taking my leave," Fugaku told them once they were outside. "But first I have something for you, Deidara."

He reached into the bag he had been carrying, pulling out a gold gift-wrapped parcel for Deidara and handing it to him. All eyes were on him as he curiously tugged the paper off, eyes widening when he realised what was inside.

"You're going to be part of the Uchiha family," Fugaku explained as Deidara ran his fingers across the art box in front of him.

It was crafted from pine and varnished, a red and white fan emblazoned on the top of it. "That's the Uchiha family crest. I know you won't be changing your name, but you will be married to my son which is good enough for me."

"Thank you," Deidara breathed, fingers running across the Uchiha fan slowly.

"Open it," Fugaku prompted. Deidara did so, eyes lighting up further at the sight of the art supplies within the box. "I don't know about these things, so I had Mikoto go to the art store and ask for some of their finest supplies."

"This entire box is Daler-Rowney," Deidara whispered. "You shouldn't have."

"Nonsense, boy. It's an acceptance into the family. I'll take it with me so you don't have to carry it around, alright?"

Deidara handed it back with a fervent nod. "Thank you so much, yeah. I really appreciate it."

"I knew you would," Fugaku nodded with a grin, patting his shoulder in a friendly manner. "Enjoy yourselves, boys."

He surprised Itachi by giving him a very quick hug, but it was a hug none the less. He released his grip after mere seconds, but it was enough to put a smile on Itachi's face. They waved Fugaku off as he headed for the nearby taxi rank, leaving them to somehow walk to the next point on the map, so to speak.

Chapter End