Naruto Fan Fiction / Shaman King Fan Fiction / Death Note Fan Fiction ❯ The Disturbed ❯ Chapter One: Death ( Chapter 1 )

(disclaimer;) I do NOT own ANY of the characters, people, cartoons, or .. well, really anything whatsoever in this fic. And how! (/disclaimer)

 

(WARNING;) FULL SERIES SPOILERS. Read at your own risk. (/WARNING)

 

(Author's Note;)

This is, currently, Jill. And only Jill.

 

I appologize. With all of my dying and black bisexual heart I appologize. This is the most horrible thing I have ever written. It is insulting to absolutely EVERYONE in EVERY WAY that my twisted mind could think of.

 

And it will scar you. And scare you. And probably make you NEVER want to look at my or Tilli's work ever again (although you should! Because Tilli is a REALLY good writer!). So yes. Read at your own risk.

 

Influence: Sugar, coffee, donuts.

*Warning*: Crack, OOCness, A/U, more OOCness, more crack.

*Future Warnings*: Random incest, more crack, more OOCness, more A/U, disturbing content that in unsuitable for all audiences, minimal l337, more disturbing content, random Gangster speak, Takeshi Obata (!?!?!).

 

Please no bashing? Me poor little heart is weak. This wasn't ment to be serious. At all. Bear in mind that I've warned you all. Thanks.

(/Author's Note)

 

 

 

The Disturbed

 

Chapter One; Death

 

 

In the land of Death Note which coincidentially happens to be the familiar planet "earth", Yagami Raito was sitting in a church pew with his girlfriend Misa and his Shinigami pal, Ryuuku.

 

"So, Misa-chan," Raito said, "Which anime do you like to watch the most?"

 

Now, this ma appear to be a strange thing for our dear Yagami-kun to say! But, let us bear in mind that this is supposed to be the "real world", minus the whole killer note book and being a manga thing, so I just safely assume there is some form of media on Japanese television other than the News. And this is my fanfiction and therefore you have no say in this so stfu.

 

Right. Anyway.

 

Misa glanced up at Raito and throughtfully tapped her chin with her finger. "Well, Raito-kun <3! I really like to watch the anime called 'Mew Mew Power'!"

 

"Wtf, Misa," Raito said. "That's the dub version of 'Tokyo Mew Mew'!"

 

"I know," Misa replied, beaming. "I love watching anime that I don't understand." She looked at the long-forgotten-of Ryuuku who was floating absent-mindedly above them. "What's your favourite anime, Ryuuku?"

 

Ryuuku looked begeyededly at her. "I like Naruto! How about you, Raito?"

 

Raito beamed. "Hikaru no Go, because the artist is the same as our's!" He turned his head to the pew behind him where L, M, and N were all pleasantly seate in church dresses. Why? I don't know. Perhapps I felt like there wasn't enough humor in this situation? Maybe. I'd blame the coffee if I were you.

 

"Yo, L. What do you guys watch?"

 

L stared at him and stuck his thumb in his mouth. "Serial Experiments Lain!"

 

Near twirled his hair, looking weirdly attractive. "Love Hina..."

 

Mello was half-way through saying "Lord of the Rings" when he suddenly choked on a piece of chocolate and died. Probably because he didn't like anime. (?)

 

L screamed. Near fainted. Misa hummer the Sailor Moon theme to herself. Ryuuku gasped. "IT MUST BE THE WORK OF KIRA!"

 

Raito rolled his eyes. "Stfu, Ryuuku. As though Kira would kill some one via choco-death."

 

Ryuuku blinked. "Good point. Misa, you bitch!"

 

Misa stared at Ryuuku and then her eyes began to grow large and watery like emotional female anime eyes tend to. "But I thought it was have been funny!"

 

L blinked. "Wtf, guys. Who are you two talking to?"

 

Raito and Misa looked at eachother, then at L, as Misa began to scribble a name down on a piece of paper. "We have telepathic abilities," they replied in hushed unison.

 

L leapt up hunched-overedly. "I KNEW it! You are both Kira one and Kira two!"

 

Ryuuka beamed. "Damn straight, schizo-boy!"

 

Raito and Misa gasped. "How dare you make an accusation!"

 

Misa suddenly giggled. "Thirty-nine..."

 

L then died as a cross came flying from his church's stage and struck him through the forehead. Of course, we're probably all wondering why the fuck he was alive in the first place after the whole Remu dilemma in Death Note Chapter 54, but let's just say that never existed in the first place. Because lesbian shinigami can go screw themselves. Remu was sooooo butch. Anyway, moving on.

 

Raito and Misa high fived. "Yes! L is finally dead!"

 

Raito patted Misa on the knee. "Good thing you had those Shinigami eyes, ne?"

 

Misa suddenly started foaming at the mouth, ran into a wall and died.

 

Raito blinked. "Wtf?"

 

"Her life span was cut like... hella short. That was like... what, the ZILLIONTH time the got them?" Ryuuku put it.

 

"Oh. Right. Oh well." Raito pulled out a pocket tape recorder. "Note to self... Find new idolizing chick to sacrifice herself for my good though arguably evil purposes."

 

Ryuku snarled.

 

Raito cringed. "And buy more apples."

 

Ryuuku smiled with a long string of drool hanging from the corner of his mouth. "Applezzz."

 

However. LITTLE DID THEY KNPOW, the universe was askew.

 

-<3-

 

(Author's Note;) Right. Please don't kill me. Thank you. ~.~ Chapter Two will be around in time. (/Author's Note)