Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Akatsuki Chronicles: Childhoods ❯ Childhood of Itachi ( Chapter 5 )

Akatsuki Chronicles: Childhood of Itachi

Summary:
Oepidus-complex parody, Itachi-centered. The reason why Itachi never smiles nowadays.

Thanks:
To my wonderful beta-er, Nika.

NOTE:
I won’t mention the castraction fear.


Disclaimer:
I don’t own Naruto, nor the idea of the Oedipus-complex. All credit goes to Kishimoto and Freud.


I first noticed it when I was four.

I felt insanely attracted to my mother.

I felt like she was the one in my life, that she was my light and guidance in the darkness.

At that moment, I decided I wanted her to love me, just as I loved her. I wanted to have her, to keep her.. to marry her.

But then, it hit me.

You see, I could never marry my mother! After all, she already belonged to someone else.

She already belonged to my father.

And I, the one who wanted mother, started to despise the poor man. Father: he was the span on the devil. He was evil himself. He was the one I grew to hate and despise.

He had already married the only woman I wanted to marry.

The bastard.

I felt extremely angry toward the man. Why did he ever marry my mother in the first place? Did he want me to live in misery? Did he want me to die in dispair?

God, he was such a disgusting man!

I wanted him gone. If I hadn't been there, I could have married my mother. If he hadn't been there, I could have had her all to myself.

My father should just leave my mother. He should leave, or get sick and die. Yes, my father should die. Because only then, I could be able to marry my mother.

Yes, my goddamn bastard of a father should die, and quickly as well.

And of course, I felt obligated to kill him myself, my own father, because that would be the quickest way to get rid of him.

But then, it hit me.

I was thinking about killing someone..

About killing my father!!

I started feeling guilty, oh so guilty, for just thinking about killing my own father.

That man, who loved me as a son. That man, who was proud of everything I acchieved. That man, who kept believing in me.

I felt guilty.

I couldn’t sleep anymore, couldn’t eat and drink anymore. I despised myself for even thinking such thoughts in the first place.

In the end, I locked all my forbidden thoughts away in my subconcious mind. I locked away all these wrong thoughts. I locked away the guilt, hate, love and misery. I pushed it all away.

And I forgot.


Years later,

I did kill my father.

The reason why I never smile in the present days?

I accidentally killed my mother as well.