Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Appreciation ❯ Of Kitsune and Kaijuu ( Chapter 1 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

This is my venture into the realms of what aat TFF dubbed a "Stealth Crackfic". Everything is logically set up, logically developed... and leads to totally absurd results. It's a crackfic... only it makes sense.

It started out as an SI. Now... before you start gagging, it's grown and changedalthough Recca is still rather heavily based on me, and its roots show from time to time.

It all started out when Prince Charon posted a question: what would you do if you were a jounin instructor in Konoha? Well... I'm not the type to become one -- spectacularly so... and the image of me becoming one was just plain wrong. Because of that, I wrote out a few short scenes featuring what would happen... since the only way I'd ever become one was if I had a rather spectacular psychotic break.

Those scenes were rather well received, and I started the work fleshing them out into a full fic. In the process of doing so, however, things changed and evolved. Recca quickly grew from being a SI into becoming a true OC -- there are things that I understand (and understood whenstarted writing the story) that Recca does not, and vice-versa. Recca has his own quirks, his own way of thinking... his own life, in a strange way.

That, and he's perfectly aware of the meaning of the word "restraint" -- it's just not his kink.

It's important to note, however, that I started writing this in March. I've tried to keep the story compatible with recent canon revelations... but there were times when it was difficult to do so. Please forgive any revision errors that occur, especially given my next point.

Unfortunately, this hasn't been fully betaed. It HAS been through the first round of the beta process, but my beta has suddenly lost a lot of free time due to a new job, and I wanted to get this sent out before Christmas. C&C wouldgreatly appreciated... pun intended.

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Twenty years. I'd been stuck in this world for more than twenty years. I'd stopped trying to get back home after Minato... no, it was best not to dwell on that. The past was the past, and I couldn't change it. In any case, I'd promised him that I'd help look after his legacy, and I'd keep that promise no matter what it took, no matter what it cost me.

Firming my resolve, I walked through the door.

"Right," I said, addressing the crowd of genin, "Team Seven, you're with me."

With those words, I headed to the roof of the Academy.

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Appreciation,

A Naruto Fanfiction,

By Aleh

Chapter One: Of Kitsune and Kaijuu

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Disclaimer:

I do not own any of the series used or referenced in this story. Said series are the properties of their creators and/or publishers.

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Interestingly enough, Naruto was the first one to arrive, quickly followed by Sasuke and Sakura. I smiled sadly at Naruto before turning to address my team.

"Right. Let's introduce ourselves, shall we? You can call me Recca. Why not my real name? I have yet to find anyone in Konoha who can correctly pronounce it. That being said, I like overkill and Ichiraku's ramen. I dislike habitual liars, bullies, child-abusers, traitors, and people who are obnoxious enough to disregard the dying wishes of someone who fucking sacrificed his soul by summoning the frigging god of death to protect them. I especially hate people who do that and then start singing the guy's praises every chance they get while treating his son like shit."

All of my three genin's eyes widened at that.

"Err... Sensei? Who would do that?" Sakura asked, surprised at the vehemence in my voice.

"Naruto? Care to answer that one?"

Naruto blinked. "Me?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I was talking about your father, after all," I admitted. "And as for who would do it... most of Konoha."

I was greeted by stunned silence.

"Oh yeah," I added, "I also hate teachers who deliberately sabotage their students' training. Add that to the list. Needless to say, Naruto's Academy records spoke volumes to me. Did you know that they keep your old tests? More importantly, did you know that certain types of genjutsu leave traces that can be detected years later?"

Sakura and Sasuke's eyes widened at the implications of my statement, while Naruto just shrugged it off, an almost melancholic look crossing his face. I idly wondered if anyone had bothered to explain the difference between a bijuu and a jinchuuriki to him; I'd find out soon enough and the explanation shouldn't take too long.

"Now, then," I continued, "Usually, I'd tell you to follow my example and introduce yourselves, but I already know who each of you are, so I'll do it for you."

I pointed to Naruto. "You're Uzumaki Naruto. You like ramen, especially Ichiraku's. Your like of instant ramen is due to the fact that it's the only food you can afford to buy on a regular basis that isn't rotten or spoiled by the time you get it home. That, in turn, is because you aren't observant enough to notice that the shopkeepers keep giving you items that are already past-expiration and charging you prices that are, frankly, obscene. Your like of Ichiraku's, on the other hand, is thanks to the fact that they're not only cheap enough for you to eat there on a regular basis, but also thanks to the fact that they actually accept you, charge you normal prices, and treat you with a degree of kindness. Come to think of it, that's also why I like going there -- dealing with the usual hypocrites is rather trying on my nerves.

"Incidentally, add hypocrites to my earlier list. I don't like them, either.

"You view Iruka-kun as a surrogate father, Hokage-sama as a surrogate grandfather of sorts, and they, along with Teuchi-san and Ayame-san, make up the closest thing you have to a family. You also have a crush on Sakura-san and want to become Hokage.

"Frankly, I don't see the reasons for either of those last two. I'll help you on your way to becoming Hokage, but you're on your own with Sakura."

By this point, Naruto was in a sort of stunned silence, demonstrating his unpredictability once again -- I'd expected him to interrupt me at some point. Sakura's state of shock was expected, however, as was Sasuke's look of interest.

"You," I continued, pointing at the lone female of the group, "are Haruno Sakura. You have a rather substantial crush on Sasuke, which you've confused with true love. Frankly, you might be able to fall in love with him, but not until you get over the mental picture you've painted of him and start to learn about who he really is. Either way, I don't care as long as it doesn't affect your performance on missions.

"Following a similar pattern, you view Naruto-kun as obnoxious despite not knowing the reasons for his behavior and, in all honesty, not really knowing anything about him at all. As such, you've formed an instinctual dislike of him that blinds you to his positive qualities. Normally, I wouldn't care about that and just put you down in my head as romantically shallow, but that dislike is far more likely to directly influence our mission performance than your crush on Sasuke, so I'm making it my business. You don't have to like Naruto-kun, but you will work with him, and if I find you blaming things on Naruto without evidence or taking your frustrations out on him, you will not like my reaction. Am I clear?"

"Y-yes, Recca-sensei," Sakura answered, somewhat stunned.

Inwardly, I lowered my expectations of her somewhat. I had been counting on the relatively mild killing intent I had been giving off during my assessment of Sakura to keep her from interrupting me, but that question should have shocked her out of it. If she couldn't even speak normally afterwards...

Shaking myself out of it, I turned towards my last student. "You," I said, "are Uchiha Sasuke. You like brooding and obsessing over your older brother. You dislike anything that keeps you from going after him, and, to use your own words, 'useless, weak fan-girls'. Your dreams for the future are to kill your brother and to restore your clan.

"Most of this stems from the the so-called 'Uchiha massacre', which was essentially the events of the day when your older brother, whom you idolized at the time, decided to kill your entire family, including your more distant relatives. You were the only survivor, and even that was only because your brother decided to spare your life. Even so, he tortured you for three days subjective time using genjutsu to make you watch as he killed your parents over and over again. Before he left to live the life of a nukenin, he told you that if you wanted to become strong enough to kill him you should hate him, cling miserably to life, and so on, as well as conveying the means by which you could activate the highest level of your family's doujutsu, the so-called 'mangekyou sharingan'.

"Considering that you followed his advice, I am forced to conclude that you're a spectacularly gullible idiot. Fortunately for you, I want him dead as well. The chief difference between us is that I don't really care who offs the bastard. If you're stupid enough to follow his advice, the least I can do is ensure that you stand a chance at taking him down with you. And if it ruins your chances for restoring the Uchiha clan... well, I never did like your family much anyway. On the other hand, if you decide to kill someone who I actually like in order to get the power he used to kill your clan... I'll kill you myself."

I paused at that, before adding another off-hand comment. "Oh, and the same goes for becoming the butt-monkey of a fifty-year-old pedophile with a thing for snakes. I'd never live it down if one of my students did that."

That certainly got a reaction, as all three of my genin started yelling. I just smiled and used my infamous 'shut-them-up no jutsu', which was really just a fancy name for the combination of a seal-less genjutsu which interfered with the victims' vocal chords and a bit of killing intent.

Idly, I noted that projecting killing intent was a lot easier than it had been before.... I sighed inwardly, knowing that dwelling on the past wouldn't do me any good.

"Right," I finished, "So you three are what I have to work with. Now, I'll need to talk to each of you individually at some point, assuming that you manage to pass tomorrow's test, but there are other things I need to take care of right now. Meet me at Training Ground Five at nine o'clock tomorrow morning. If you're late you'll automatically fail, and will be sent back to the academy for another year."

With that I dropped my jutsu and teleported away.

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Later that afternoon I knocked on the door of Iruka's apartment. It had been a while, and we hadn't exactly parted on the best of terms, but this was the only way I could get the information I needed short of asking Sandaime or Naruto himself... and I didn't want to approach either of them. In the Third's case, that was due to an old promise, one which I suspected he had forgotten about, but... well, a promise was a promise. In Naruto's case, however, that was because the best way to approach him depended on the answer to my questions.

Regardless, that left Iruka as the only other option.

The door opening brought me out of my thoughts. "Hello, Iruka-kun."

"O... ojisan," he greeted, visibly surprised. "What brings you here?"

"I need to ask you something," I replied, my face becoming serious. "About Naruto-kun, that is."

Iruka's eyes widened. "Come in," he answered, stepping back from the door. "Would you like some tea?"

"No, thanks." I smiled at that. "It's getting late, and you know how that stuff affects me."

Iruka nodded and gestured to a chair. As I sat down I noticed that Iruka was getting slightly twitchy.

"You have something that you want to tell me," I observed.

Iruka sighed, slumping into a nearby seat. "You were right," he said after a few moments. "I'm sorry."

"You were a child. Children make mistakes. I'm just glad that you realized yours."

"What you said, back then," Iruka hesitantly began.

"It was true," I answered. "All of it was."

"Then Naruto's..."

I nodded. "Yes."

Iruka just slumped bonelessly into his chair. "I think I see why you act the way you do," he said after a moment.

"Like I hate the village?" I asked.

"Yes," Iruka confirmed.

"Let me tell you a little secret," I replied. "I do."

Iruka just sighed at that. "I don't suppose I can blame you," he admitted.

After a few moments, I spoke up again. "Anyway, I wanted to ask you about Naruto-kun," I chimed in.

"Yes?"

"After Mizuki told him that he was the Kyuubi," I began, noticing Iruka start at that, "and you told him that he wasn't, did anyone sit down with him and tell him the whole story?"

Iruka's eyes were wide at that. "Not that I know of," he answered after a moment, before pausing. "You mean you're going to tell him..."

I shook my head. "Politics," I replied. "Danzou made me promise not to tell him in exchange for him not blocking my efforts to become his teacher."

Iruka sighed. "And you value your promises enough to keep them, even when they're made to slime like him."

I nodded. "Yeah. Doesn't mean I'm not going to hint at it, though."

Iruka grinned for a moment before he slumped into his chair again. "It might not work," he told me. "Naruto's rather... dense."

I chuckled. "That's putting it mildly. Still, it should work... eventually."

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Around dinnertime I, predictably, found Naruto at Ichiraku. Taking a moment to gather myself, I sat down next to him and spoke up. "One pork ramen, please," I said cheerfully, startling my student.

"Ah, Recca-san," the old man who ran the place greeted me. "How have you been lately?"

"Fine, Teuchi-san," I replied. "I just got assigned to teach a genin team -- Naruto-kun's, actually."

"Ne, Sensei, ojisan," my student chimed in, "you two know each other?"

I just grinned. "Best place in Konoha to get ramen," I confirmed. "I've been coming here to eat ever since... hmm..."

Teuchi smiled at both of us. "Actually," he said, giving Naruto a conspiratorial look, "he's the one who first showed Iruka-san this place."

My grin became a bit forced as I thought back to better times. "Your father used to like this place," I told Naruto. "He used to take me here every now and then... he made it his business to make sure I didn't have too many problems, and every few weeks we'd eat ramen and talk about jutsu construction." I sighed at that. "He was a good man, and I was honored to have known him."

Pulling myself from my moment of introspection I was surprised to see tears brimming in Naruto's eyes.

"I wanted to adopt you, you know," I continued as Teuchi put a bowl on the counter in front of me. "Unfortunately, the Council wouldn't hear of it. I guess I pushed a bit too hard, because they forbade me from even seeing you. It took... a lot of effort on my part... to get assigned as your sensei."

"But Recca-sensei, I..."

I smiled. "We'll talk about the overgrown fluffball later. Right now we have more important things to do -- I don't want our ramen to get cold."

Amusingly enough that served to throw Naruto into a state of near-panic as he inhaled his ramen even faster than normal, only briefly nodding my way as I told him to feel free to order as many bowls as he'd like, as I'd handle the bill. I just took in the sight as I finished my own bowl at a more sedate pace, taking a moment every now and then to watch as the bowls piled up in front of my ramen-loving student.

All good things must come to an end, however, and the companionable silence was no exception. As I finished my bowl, Naruto finally stretched back and yawned, a pile of at least twenty bowls stacked in front of him. Chuckling inwardly at my new student's metabolism, I took out my wallet and paid the rather substantial bill.

"Thanks, Recca-sensei," he cheerfully told me.

I just gave him another of the bittersweet smiles that had been gracing my face on an increasingly frequent basis. "It's the least I could do," I confessed. "Now, there's something we need to talk about."

Naruto's cheerfulness vanished, a surprisingly serious look appearing on his features.

"Meet you on top of the Fourth Hokage's head in ten minutes? I'll bring some yellow paint."

At Naruto's facefault I knew I had made the right decision.

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Ten minutes later I smiled at Naruto's approach and gave the can of paint in my hand a shake.

"So, Naruto-kun," I said, "shall we get started? We can paint the Fourth Hokage's hair while we talk."

Naruto just blinked, tears of joy pouring down his face as he realized the meaning of my words.

"You know," I amusedly added after a moment, "your father never liked these faces -- he always said that they could use a little color." At Naruto's snicker I decided to continue. "Your painting of the monument the other day was one of the funniest things I've seen since the time Minato and I got together and tarred-and-feathered Danzou."

Naruto snickered for a moment before he decided to ask the obvious question. "Ne, Sensei, who's Danzou?"

I frowned. "Danzou is one of the major political figures in Konoha. The most important thing you need to know about him for now is that he's constantly making trouble for the Third Hokage. He opposed the Fourth Hokage, too, and he's been one of the loudest voices in Konoha's political scene for trying to have you killed."

Naruto just looked down at his feet. Seeing that reaction I walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Now, none of that," I chastised. "I spoke to Iruka-kun about what happened in the woods the other day, when Mizuki told you about the oversized fluffball that's stuck in your stomach."

Naruto looked up so quickly that I wondered for a moment whether or not he'd given himself whiplash.

"I thought that it would be for the best if you knew the whole story," I continued. "Before I start, though, you should know one important thing: you are not the kyuubi. You are its jailor. It's sealed inside of you, yes, but you are you -- Uzumaki Naruto, future Hokage."

Naruto's eyes widened.

"Yes, Naruto-kun," I replied to the unasked question, "I think that you have what it takes to become Hokage, if that's what you want to do with your life." I sighed at that. "I wasn't lying when I said that I didn't see why you want the job." I shrugged and took my hand off my student's shoulder. "We'll talk about that later, though. For now, I have a story to tell you and we have a monument to paint."

After that it took almost no time for us to get started. Naruto used a system of ropes and a platform to lower himself while I just used chakra to stick to the monument. At Naruto's wide-eyed expression at the technique I just smiled and told him that it would be one of the first things I'd teach him.

"So," I said after a few minutes of painting, "let's start at the beginning. In this world there are nine... entities, beings of pure chakra that can take on the physical appearance of giant beasts. We call them the bijuu."

I smiled at Naruto as I jumped towards a spot that he'd missed, catching it with a layer of paint before I reattached myself to the monument.

"Are you following me so far?"

Naruto just frowned for a moment. "Sensei? What's 'chakra'?"

I chuckled. "It's the energy we ninja use to perform techniques," I answered. "I know they didn't talk about it much in the Academy, but for now all you really need to know is that the bijuu are made of it."

Naruto nodded his comprehension.

"As I said, there are nine of these bijuu. They're called that because each of them has a number of tails. The weakest of them is the one-tailed tanuki, Shuukaku, which is currently sealed inside the Kazekage's youngest son."

My student startled at that news while I just snickered at the expression on his face.

"Yes, Naruto-kun," I confirmed, "you aren't the only one, but I'll get to that in a moment."

I made another leap at that, landing on another of the spikes of Minato's hair.

"In any case, the bijuu like to destroy things. We don't really know why, to be honest, but they do. Also, because they're beings of pure chakra, they have more raw power than any human. That isn't to say that they can't be defeated, because they can, but even Shuukaku is an extremely difficult opponent. Kyuubi... well, he's the strongest of them, and you know what it took to stop him."

Naruto nodded somberly, a serious expression crossing his face as he stopped painting for a few moments.

"Anyway, because of this people have long sought to use the bijuu's power against their enemies. Over the years people have tried various things, but, in the end, we've only found one way to control the power the bijuu possess. Specifically, it is possible to seal one of the bijuu into a newborn infant. It's not easy to do so -- in fact, it's only possible by sacrificing someone's life. In other words, in order to put one of those things into someone, someone has to die."

Naruto's eyes widened at that.

"However," I added, "the children who'd had a bijuu sealed into them all developed unusual powers. In the eyes of the people who wanted to control the power of the bijuu this made the sacrifice worthwhile." I sighed at that, noticing that Naruto was still hanging on to my every word. "You have to understand that these were not... nice... people," I said after a moment. "To the sort of people who were doing those experiments people are just tools, and all they were doing was trying to create a better weapon to use against their enemies."

Naruto's pace slowed down as a sad look settled on his face.

"In time the practice became increasingly widespread, and the techniques for sealing the bijuu into children were perfected. The children with the misfortune to carry one of the bijuu became known as 'jinchuuriki', and time passed, bringing us to the events of thirteen years ago." I smiled at Naruto, finishing up another of the spikes of the Fourth's hair, before jumping to land in front of the platform Naruto was sitting on and unsealing another can of paint from the scroll in which I'd been carrying them.

Placing a new can next to Naruto I decided to pause for a moment. "So," I asked, "any questions so far?"

Naruto just got a look on his face that I could best characterize as halfway between thoughtful and constipated. After a moment, he spoke up. "But Sensei, I don't have any unusual powers."

I burst out laughing. "You don't, do you? Naruto-kun, you summoned over a hundred kage bunshin against Mizuki. I couldn't summon half that many -- the effort would kill me. I suspect that after you learn a bit more, you'll be able to use ten times that number without much strain."

Naruto's eyes widened in shock.

"More," I continued, "I've seen you recover in seconds from injuries that would take others weeks to heal. So, Naruto-kun, don't tell me that you don't have any unusual powers -- you just haven't been taught how to use them."

"Ne, ne, Sensei?" he asked, "Do you think it's something super-cool like-"

I interrupted him. "Naruto-kun, I know exactly what powers you get from the kyuubi. Just remember one thing: if you depend on the fox for your strength, you'll never become Hokage. You'll never even become a chuunin. You'll be stuck forever as an object of fear and hatred. Worse, if you overuse the kyuubi's power, the seal holding back the furball will weaken and eventually break, killing you and setting the fox free to try to finish what it started thirteen years ago."

Naruto became almost morose at that, setting his brush down on his platform.

"Don't worry," I continued. "The seal is incredibly strong. However, let's continue with what happened thirteen years ago, okay?"

My face took on a somewhat wistful expression as I thought back to better times. "Your father and I were friends," I told my student. "I wasn't a ninja -- I didn't become one until later -- but that didn't mean that I didn't know any ninjutsu." I smiled towards my student. "I'm not from Konoha," I added. "I was brought here by a ninja who was experimenting with summoning jutsu. Worse, he died summoning me, so I had no way to return home."

Jumping to another of the strands of Minato's hair I resumed painting.

"Anyway, the Fourth Hokage -- although he wasn't the Hokage at the time -- felt guilty about what had happened to me, so he helped me get settled in, and hired me to help him with one of his personal projects."

I stopped painting for a moment to look straight at Naruto. "The Fourth wasn't satisfied with the lack of alternatives to the creation of jinchuuriki, you see. He thought that it was inhumane and hated the idea of sacrifices, especially when they were human. He felt that there had to be a better way to stop the bijuu than condemning a child to bear the burden of carrying a monster."

"But, Sensei, he..."

I nodded. "I know. Let me finish, okay?"

Naruto gave me a somewhat sad smile and picked up his brush.

"So... that was my life before the Kyuubi attack. I split my time between the Fourth's project and searching for a way home. During the interim I somehow managed to befriend your father." I gave another wistful sigh. "I've never had many close friends," I confessed, "but those who I do make have always been extremely precious to me. Your father... Iruka-kun's parents..." I sighed again. "Almost every friend I had died during that damned fox's attack."

I took a moment to gather myself, noting that Naruto had become uncharacteristically morose and was idly swirling his paintbrush across the unpainted areas of Minato's forelocks in a seemingly random pattern.

"A lot of good people died back then," I added, "but I'm getting ahead of myself." Taking a breath, I decided to continue. "I never finished either of those projects," I finally said. "Sometimes, I blame myself -- maybe if I'd spent less time looking for a way home, my friends would still be alive. Still, there's nothing I can do about that. Just as I was making real progress on a way to destroy the bijuu..."

"The kyuubi attacked," Naruto finished for me.

I nodded in acknowledgement. "Yes," I replied. "But even if my method wasn't complete, the Fourth Hokage was a master of sealing techniques. So, while a large portion of Konoha's ninja forces went off to buy time, the Fourth prepared his back-up plan." I sighed again. "You know what happened next. The Fourth died sealing the fox into your stomach, saving the village." I paused in my painting to wipe a few tears from my eyes. "I offered to be the sacrifice in his stead," I added. "I wanted to be the sacrifice instead of him. But... by sacrificing himself, the Fourth made a seal far stronger than he could have made using someone else. That and that was just the kind of man he was. He was the sort of person who'd rather die than see anyone precious to him hurt... and he viewed the entire village as precious to him."

I stopped painting and jumped back towards where Naruto was finally finishing up the area he was working on.

"Naruto-kun," I told him, "the seal he created... The Fourth was a master of sealing techniques. I'm nowhere near his level, even now... I can only begin to understand how that seal works, and even that's only due to the notes he left me. It's probably the single most incredible piece of work I've ever seen, and that's saying something when you consider where I grew up. Still, though... its design is completely different from the 'traditional' seals used to create jinchuuriki. Those seals were intended to give the container access to the power of their bijuu. Yours... yours is different. It's meant, first and foremost, to keep the kyuubi locked up. The Fourth Hokage didn't want you to be a living weapon or a human sacrifice, like other jinchuuriki have been, and the seal reflects that."

By this point Naruto's eyes had dried up, and he wore a look of fierce determination on his face.

"After the sealing," I said, deciding to finish on this note, "the Fourth managed to survive long enough to say a few last words. He told the people present that you were his legacy and the newest hero of Konoha. He asked the village that he loved to take care of you and to treat you well. And, with that, he died."

I smiled at my student, putting my hand on his shoulder again. "There's more, of course," I said. "That was hardly everything. But... you know most of what happened after that, and I think I've given you enough to think about for tonight. Now, shall we finish our little decoration?"

The next morning, Konoha awoke to find that the Fourth Hokage's hair had been painted bright yellow... the same color as it had been in life.

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At nine o'clock the next morning I arrived to find all three of my genin present. Idly noting that Naruto was smiling brightly, Sakura had a thoughtful look on her face, and Sasuke looked constipated, I pulled out a scroll, unsealed its contents, and sat down, ignoring the look of outrage that flashed across Sakura's face as she saw what I'd taken out.

"Right," I said, "It's customary to test each new genin team to see if they're worthy of becoming ninja. Kakashi has what he likes to call the 'bell test' and I'd adapt that, but, frankly, I couldn't keep the bells from you without killing you, and that'd utterly defeat the point. So, I worked out a different test."

Sakura's eyebrows twitched. Sasuke's eyes narrowed. Naruto smiled angelically, knowing instinctively that he'd like what would come next. The fact that I was sitting on an open crate full of toilet paper probably didn't hurt.

"Naruto-kun," I confirmed, "you'll probably like this." With that I pulled out a photo. "This," I continued, indicating the person in the picture, "is Danzou. He's a major political player in Konoha, and is known, among other things, for being one of the Third Hokage's chief political opponents. During a recent mission I discovered that he's also responsible for sending assassins after the Fourth Hokage's only son on no less than three occasions. Unfortunately I haven't gotten permission to off him yet, but that doesn't mean that we can't cover his house in toilet paper and paint him yellow. Get to it."

As my students set off I smirked. Danzou couldn't hold this against me -- it was simply an adaptation of the genin test he gave his students back when he taught his own team. Of course the toilet paper was new, and he'd used water-soluble paint... not to mention a volunteer target, but, still, it shouldn't take more than a week or two for his skin to return to its normal color. The itching should have died down by then, too, so I was perfectly safe.

With that thought I grabbed my camera and jumped to the rooftops, not wanting to miss the spectacle.

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After my team passed their genin test I told them to meet me in the same place the next day and headed to get my photos developed. Saving the negatives of some of the choicer pictures for the next time I needed to blackmail the "former" head of the Root organization, I promptly made a few hundred copies of the remainder and spent a few hours posting them in various places across Konoha.

Smiling in satisfaction I paused for a moment as I realized that I'd missed a store in my campaign to buy out every place that sold toilet paper within a mile of Danzou's home before I stole his supplies for my test. I quickly rectified the error and spent the rest of the time until sundown coating rolls in itching powder and replacing the ones I'd taken from Danzou's bathrooms.

Of course Danzou would spot the powder before using the rolls -- he was, after all, a former shinobi, with all the paranoia that entailed -- but it was the principle of the matter that counted.

That done, I headed over to Sakura's house for our "talk".

-----------

Finding Sakura's home was easy; students' addresses were listed in the Academy records, after all. I'd have to rectify that problem eventually in Naruto's case, at least, but it was convenient for the time being. Locating Sakura's room was even easier, as she had a window facing the street. While such things were convenient and enjoyable for civilians, they were liabilities for ninja, especially high-profile ones like me. Smiling in remembrance at how Jin-sensei had drilled that lesson into me, I spent a moment debating whether or not to teach Sakura that lesson in the same manner as Jin-sensei had taught me.

It didn't take me long to decide -- the lesson really wasn't worth the effort that would go into replacing the explosive tags, although I supposed I could always substitute trinitrotoluene or cordite. It still wasn't worth the effort, especially if Mai came to investigate.

That decided, I walked up the wall and knocked on Sakura's window after taking a moment to ensure that she was decent. When she was actually stupid enough to open the window in response without checking who it was or taking precautions, however, I decided that there were some things that I just couldn't tolerate from my students, even if only because of professional pride. It took me less than a second to subdue her, holding her with a kunai to her throat and a hand over her mouth.

"Now, now, Sakura-chan," I said, grinning. "If I'd been an enemy, you'd be dead right now. Really, not only do you have a street-facing window in your bedroom, of all places, it's not even trapped. Worse, you just opened it without even looking to see who was there."

With that I withdrew my kunai, keeping my hand over my student's mouth while I said one last thing. "I'm going to let you go now, but you really need to be more careful in the future. As a ninja, things like that can get you killed."

That said, I removed my hand and released Sakura. Watching as she took a moment to gather herself and catch her breath, I decided to say one more thing before waiting for a response. "So," I finished, "I believe you have some things you wanted to ask me?"

As Sakura took a deep breath I tensed, my suspicions confirmed when she moved into an aggressive posture and leaned forward. Before she could shout, however, I once again demonstrated my 'shut-them-up no jutsu', effectively stopping her where she stood.

"Don't yell," I chastised. "We don't want to disturb the neighbors, and there's someone who lives around here who I really don't want to deal with right now." With that I dropped my jutsu and waited for Sakura to regain her composure again.

"Sensei," she said after a moment, "don't you think that was a bit excessive?"

I just smiled. "Would you have preferred it if I took a few explosive notes, stuck them to a rock, charged them, and threw the rock through your window? That's what my sensei did to teach me that lesson when I was a genin."

Sakura just blinked, stunned at that image as I turned serious.

"This isn't a game, Sakura-kun," I continued. "We're ninja. We're soldiers. Our job often requires us to kill our enemies before they can kill us. Open engagements are a part of that, true, but most of the day-to-day fighting takes place in the shadows. It's common practice to assassinate enemy ninja by sneaking into their homes and killing them while they sleep or by poisoning their food... and the enemy won't care if you're just a genin or not from a major family. A dead enemy is a dead enemy, after all. Worse, it's also common practice to kidnap enemy ninja so that they can be tortured for information."

Sakura's eyes had widened at that.

"That's why I made that point so thoroughly. Even if you're safe doing that ninety-nine times out of a hundred, it only takes one time for you to wind up dead or worse. As such, I had to teach the lesson in a fashion that you weren't likely to forget."

Sakura nodded her comprehension, a serious expression on her face.

"Now," I asked, "what has this taught you?"

My lone female student wore a thoughtful expression for a moment before speaking up. "Not to open my window without checking who's there?"

I just shook my head. "That's a basic precaution, but it's better to stay away from windows, especially ones that face the street, and especially while you're sleeping. If you have to have one in your room, it's best to leave at least two layers of traps around it. Don't get me wrong -- windows are highly useful as entrance and exit points, and it's best to have one in case you need to leave the building in a hurry. It's just not a good idea to linger by them, and especially not to sleep by one, particularly one that hasn't been secured somehow. Opening one when you know someone is outside but you don't know who is just opening yourself up for an ambush. I'd never live it down if one of my students died because they made such an amateur error."

I chuckled for a moment.

"Also, it's best not to change in front of one, either, given the number of perverts around Konoha, but I really hope you already knew that."

Sakura just blinked, my final comment having effectively diffused the tension that had permeated the room throughout the lecture.

"Still, that isn't what I came here to talk about. Now, your questions?"

Sakura's features flitted from thoughtful to surprised to outraged before she visibly calmed herself. My estimation of her rose a notch at that. When she started to protest my statement that her feelings towards Sasuke were merely a crush and that she didn't really know anything about him, however, my opinion of her went back down. Fortunately, she was speaking in a normal tone, or I would have shut her up again, but I did eventually decide to interrupt.

"Before your confrontation with him after graduation," I asked, "did you even know that Sasuke is an orphan?"

As Sakura's eyes widened, I knew that it wouldn't take too much to drive the point in.

"Before my little speech yesterday," I continued, "did you know that the person who killed his parents -- along with almost every other Uchiha -- was his older brother? Did you know that Itachi -- that's his brother's name, by the way -- tortured him for three days after that, and that Sasuke only survived because Itachi spared his life? Do you know, even now, that Sasuke has dedicated his life to hunting Itachi down and killing him? I'm asking because those are some of the most fundamental aspects of Sasuke's character... and I know for a fact that most of his so-called 'fan-girls' don't know any of that.

"As for how I know, I've spent some time spying on your classes at the Academy and investigating your class. I approached several of you as possible intelligence sources, but was rather disappointed. Discreet questioning, however, revealed what I just told you about his little fan-club, although I suppose that it's not nearly as surprising to you as it was to me."

By this point Sakura had paled, and was now sitting on her bed.

"This is probably explainable by the fact that what happened isn't something that's talked about much, but most of Konoha knows at least the basics of what happened. Pretty much any sort of investigation into Sasuke's history by any of you could have produced that information. Instead, you spent your time spreading petty gossip about what he supposedly likes, even though very little of it was accurate. In the time I spent observing your efforts, it became abundantly clear that all any of you were doing was annoying him. Whatever Sasuke is looking for in a significant other, none of you had it."

Sakura reflexively asked her next question, although I could tell that her heart wasn't into it. "What do you think Sasuke-kun is..."

She blushed and stopped her question, but I decided to answer anyway.

"Combat effectiveness, probably -- he's pretty obsessed with strength, and I doubt he'd want someone who would easily fall victim to a repeat of what happened to his family or who couldn't help him get his revenge. As for the rest?" I shrugged. "I'm not sure what else you were lacking. There are several possibilities -- the right personality type, a certain body type, the correct genitalia... it could be any of them."

I shrugged. "But I don't care about any of that. Whatever he's looking for, it's none of my business... unless, of course, he starts hitting on me or decides to go to a fifty-year old pedophile with a thing for snakes. In all honesty, I don't think he's looking for romance right now, and I suspect he has too many issues to effectively sustain a romantic relationship anyway."

I paused for a moment, assessing Sakura's response. While she had shown signs of outrage at my off-hand suggestion that Sasuke was homosexual, those signs had been promptly subdued. In short, she was ready for the next bit.

Unfortunately, that's when we were interrupted as someone knocked on Sakura's door.

"Sakura-chan," someone called, causing me to freeze as I recognized that voice. "Are you alright?"

Deciding that action was definitely needed, I quickly signed for Sakura to keep quiet about my presence and hid under her bed as quickly as I could without alerting the person outside.

"I'm fine, Aunt Mai," my pink-haired student replied.

"Oh," that woman answered. "I thought I heard voices."

"It's nothing," Sakura called back. "I was just thinking out loud."

"Okay. If you need to talk about anything, feel free to ask."

Under Sakura's bed, I shuddered at the thought of anyone going to her for advice. Fortunately, that was the end of the exchange, as I heard her footsteps as she left. Quickly extracting myself from my hiding place, I dusted myself off and opened Sakura's window before gesturing for her to follow.

A few minutes later, we found ourselves in a nearby park perched in the branches of a convenient tree.

"She's your aunt?" I finally asked, my incredulity clearly showing in my voice.

My student just looked somewhat confused. "Yeah," she confirmed.

I just sat back in shock as a lot of Sakura's behavior suddenly made sense. At least she hadn't started a cult dedicated to "Sasuke-kun", and if that woman was one of her role models, that was actually showing quite a bit of restraint.

Mai had done that within a year of first meeting me, after all.

On the other hand, with her as an example, it would be pathetically easy to brainwash Sakura into being Naruto's devoted follower and willing slave. Inwardly frowning at the missed opportunity -- I had told Naruto that I wouldn't help him win Sakura's heart, after all -- I decided that my original plan was still viable with a few modifications.

Inwardly frowning again as I contemplated my previous evaluations of Sakura, I wondered just how much of her romantic advice had come from her aunt. Sighing, I came to a decision.

"Sakura," I said, "I'm afraid that I owe you an apology."

My sole female student's eyes widened in shock.

"For future reference, however," I explained, "your aunt is probably not the best person to talk to about love or romance. I'd advise ignoring what she says about that topic in the future."

"But..."

I just interrupted her. "I happen to know for a fact," I said, frowning, "that the person she's... imprinted on... regards her as somewhat worse than a mere annoyance. Without getting into details, he once regarded her as just that -- annoying, but a mere background player. Her continual declarations were bothersome, but not something to be overly concerned with, and he simply did his best to ignore her.

"That changed shortly after the kyuubi's attack. He had lost almost everyone he cared for during that incident and he was desperately trying to do his part to ensure that his closest friend's dying wish would be fulfilled, but he'd found his efforts blocked at every turn. He asked your aunt for help, telling her everything and practically pouring his heart out to her in hopes that she would use what resources she had to help him. In his mind, her doing so would have changed everything. It was, in a way, her chance to win him over."

All color had again fled Sakura's face by this point. "She refused, didn't she?"

"Worse," I replied. "Who do you think was responsible for blocking his efforts in the first place? Even after that conversation, she didn't stop, and she's still one of his major opponents, politically speaking... despite the fact that her declarations of 'love' and 'devotion' still haven't stopped or the fact that she still claims that her efforts were for his sake."

Noting that Sakura had managed to pale even further, I went for the final blow.

"So no," I finished, "I don't think your aunt is the best person to ask for romantic advice. I'm not even sure she knows what love is."

At that last comment Sakura blushed, the sudden loss of paleness doing nothing to mitigate her apparent shock.

"Sensei," she asked, "what do you think..."

Prior to seeing the expression on her face at that point, I would have thought it wasn't possible to combine girlish romantic embarrassment and that level of horrified shock into a single expression. I would have been wrong.

Fortunately, it wasn't much of a shock to me. I was putting Sakura under a great deal of emotional stress, and the best part was that questioning her family would only provide supporting evidence for what I'd said. In short, I was forcing her to re-evaluate her world view and shattering long-held beliefs. Eventually, she'd ask for help picking up the pieces, and I'd provide it. And if I did so in a way that shaped her loyalties into what I wanted them to become... well, that was expected of me.

The best part was that I wouldn't even have to lie. My goal, after all, was to make her belief system more congruent with reality, not less so.

Having judged that I had delayed enough to give the impression of thinking about her unspoken question, I spoke up. "That's... a pretty complex question," I answered. "There are a lot of things that we refer to with that word. If you're talking about interpersonal love, though, I'd say that the most important thing is acceptance. Basically, knowing who the person is, and accepting them as such... caring for who they are, faults and all.

"That's why I called what you had -- and perhaps still have -- for Sasuke a crush, by the way. You can't accept someone for who they are if you don't know who they are, and you can't accept someone's faults if you can't see them. Sasuke is an avenger. He wants, more than anything else, to avenge his family's murder."

I sighed. "The problem is that, in his quest for the 'power' to do so, he'd probably go so far as to betray the village or his team. It's a common story among shinobi, really, and I'm the poor sap who got stuck with the task of keeping him from doing so.

"If you became a shinobi because you want romance... well, I can always recommend you for courtesan training. Stories like Sasuke's are not exactly rare among ninja. The constant deaths, lies, and betrayals get to you... and far too many of us break under the strain. In my case, I deal with it by simply not participating. I've made my own path, one which doesn't involve lying or betraying those I care for. Others have their own methods -- Kakashi-san, for instance, is constantly late and spends most of his time reading porn as a sort of twisted tribute to a dead friend. Gai-san is... well... err..." I visibly shuddered. "If you meet him, you'll understand.

"Anyway, as I was saying, Sasuke has dealt with the tragedy in his past by focusing on the person he views as having caused it -- more specifically, by focusing on the goal of killing that person."

The embarrassment had vanished from Sakura's face as the look of horrified shock returned.

"The reason I wasn't very hard on you about your attitude towards Sasuke was that while you were setting yourself up for heartbreak, it wouldn't affect your ability to work on a team with him. If anything, it would help, although your behavior might annoy him, and I hoped that, in time, your image of him would become more congruent with reality.

"Your attitude towards Naruto-kun, on the other hand, was a different matter. You said he's annoying. I tend to agree, to an extent. Do you know why?"

Sakura just mutely shook her head.

"Naruto's past is, in many ways, even more tragic than Sasuke's. The important thing to realize, though, is that children aren't born knowing how to behave normally or how to be polite. They're taught, usually by their parents, and, all too often, by surrogates, such as caretakers or orphanage personnel. Socialization with peers is usually learned through practice. We keep those behaviors which are rewarded and discard those which are not." I shook my head. "Do you understand now? Naruto-kun has been alone his whole life. I told you what happened to his father, and his mother died shortly after he was born. He was placed with caretakers who hated and ignored him, and he's never had a friend his own age. Whenever he was nearby when something -- anything -- went wrong, he was the one blamed. If other children broke something and he was in the area, he was the one punished. From slightly before his second birthday up until he entered the Academy, the only people to ever show him kindness were the Third Hokage and the people who run his favorite ramen stand... even though it's only his favorite because they're the only ones who will actually serve him without making a show of their distaste or... worse."

I sighed for what felt to be the hundredth time. "He's loud because that's the only way he's been able to get people to listen to or even notice him, and has only recently realized that it's because they were deliberately ignoring him. He pulls pranks because he'd be in trouble anyway -- so he might as well know why. He was dead last at the Academy because his training was deliberately sabotaged.

"And, somehow, despite everything that happens to him on a daily basis, his desire to protect the village never wavers. He's determined to become Hokage -- to become a living shield to defend Konoha, despite knowing what that involves. He's willing to sacrifice his life to protect the very people who hate him."

I couldn't read the expression that crossed Sakura's face, but I thought I detected a bit of thoughtfulness.

"Hate him?" Sakura asked, parroting my last words.

"Yes," I confirmed. "If you think I'm going a bit far... well, we'll talk about that later. I just have two things to ask of you before I'll leave you to think over what I've said."

"Oh?"

"First, Naruto really needs friends. I'm not going to ask you to date him or anything like that, but could you please try to get along with him?"

Sakura's expression shifted towards determination as she emphatically nodded. "Of course, Sensei," she replied. "And the other?"

"Well," I said, purposefully blushing a bit, "I told you that Naruto needs to develop his social skills, but... well..." I paused, shifting my body language to show a bit of embarrassment. "Anyway, I'm not exactly the best person to teach him. Could you... err... try to help him learn proper behavior? I'm not expecting miracles, but if he wants to be Hokage, he'll need to at least know how to be polite."

Sakura's nod of confirmation was less emphatic this time, but no less determined.

"Good," I stated. "I'll leave you to think about what I've said. If you have any questions... feel free to ask."

Giving Sakura one last, concerned smile, I made a hand-seal and teleported away.

-----------

I made it back to the roof of my apartment building before I collapsed in laughter. What had happened was just perfect.

"Brainwashing", in the conventional sense, was a ridiculously crude technique. The same could be said for most of the forms of pleasure/pain-based conditioning that were practiced in this world. The former counted on the "victim" not being able to see through the lies they were presented with or discovering the truth, and often produced what were effectively drones. The latter typically produced a need to submit to a "master"... which meant that their loyalties could be easily usurped by another, if the other party knew to do so.

Genuine loyalty was the best kind, but inducing it depended on telling the truth and on being trusted, as a single lie could send the whole house of cards crashing down. With what I was doing, I was effectively turning all of Konoha into my assistants.

Better yet, with Sakura no longer taking romantic advice from her aunt, she was likely to turn to other sources. With what I remembered from her... rants... about her sister's... tendencies, her sister at least understood the meaning of 'devotion', even if she took it a bit... overly far.

Of course, it didn't really matter whether or not Sakura really had been taking advice from her. It was likely she had been, going by her past behavior, but if she hadn't, my apology would only result in guilt on her part... guilt that I would ensure would be constructively channeled. After all, Sakura was, of all my team, the best candidate to use that, but I couldn't afford to give it to her until she reached a point where harming Naruto would be all but unthinkable for her.

I stopped laughing as I realized that I'd made a mistake in my shock at finding that Sakura was related to that woman. It wasn't too severe, and the situation could be salvaged, but I needed to do so.

Still, though, I had things to do before the day was out. Regaining my composure, I started roof-hopping towards the old Uchiha district in order to find my so-called "genius" pupil.

-----------

Finding Sasuke was hardly difficult. He was performing kata in his clan's primary training yard. As that was the first place I checked, locating him took less than ten minutes, most of which was spent in transit.

The Uchiha had favored what in the local terminology was a wind/lightning-based style of taijutsu. In other words, they'd dodge or block their opponents' strikes while searching for an opening in their defenses. When they found one, they'd pick their opponent apart with a series of precise, lethal strikes.

Sasuke, while obviously practicing from scrolls describing the kata for the style, didn't understand that aspect of the art. His form was textbook-perfect, but his execution... was a mess, to put it simply. Scrolls can't convey certain aspects of fighting styles, and his kata showed that perfectly. He was executing the kata as if it were what would be considered a fire/lightning style -- that is, he was trying to overwhelm the opponents' defenses with raw strength in order to create an opening.

While there were Uchiha who used that tactic, Sasuke didn't have the build to be one of them. Sighing, I decided to interrupt his "training".

It took only a few seconds to tie Sasuke to a nearby pole, something that was, frankly, embarrassing. I wasn't exactly known for my stealth, after all, and my taijutsu was worse than many genjutsu specialists'.

"Well," I cheerfully commented, "wasn't that pathetic."

My so-called "genius" student just glared at me.

"Oh, don't worry," I told him. "I told you that I'd help you to kill your brother, and that's exactly what I'm going to do. This conversation is just a necessary step on the road to doing that."

Considering that Sasuke looked interested, I decided to continue.

"As for why I tied you up and interrupted your training, your basic approach to that taijutsu style was incorrect. It's more of a wind style than a fire style, although you got the lightning elements correct. You have the wrong build for a strength-based style -- agility and speed will help you more."

Sasuke resumed his glare as I had to shut him up by pulling on the wires holding him in place. Perhaps adding my "shut-them-up" no jutsu to the mix was overkill, but I wanted him to listen.

"Now, now, Sasuke-kun," I continued, "I should know -- I remember fighting against that style when it was still widely practiced, after all. I did you a favor by pointing out your mistake. Besides, power isn't nearly as simple a concept as you've been led to believe... but I'm getting ahead of myself.

"You want to kill Itachi. Good. I want him dead... but I believe I already told you that, didn't I? You see, I know what Itachi's been up to lately, and his present objectives require the death of someone rather important to me. As I want my best friend's son to live a full, happy life, Itachi's continued existence is rather incompatible with my own goals.

"In short, I don't care how he dies. Whether you kill him or he chokes on a piece of pocky doesn't matter to me. As far as I'm concerned, he's an obstacle, something standing in the way of my dreams.

"As for how I know about what he's up to, he's joined an organization called 'Akatsuki' and I have an agent in the organization, which, by the way, is something that until now only two people in all of Konoha have known. I'm telling you so you won't ask stupid questions about how I know what I just told you.

"That being said, I'm probably the best person in the world to teach you how to kill that bastard. You see, I'm probably the strongest ninja in the world in terms of sheer power."

My student's eyes widened as he moved to talk, but was choked by the cords holding him in place.

"Oh, don't get me wrong," I commented, waving my hand dismissively, "I have my weaknesses -- everyone does. In my case, I suck at subduing people -- I usually can't take someone down without killing them." And everyone in the city they're in, and a good portion of the local wildlife, and... well, some things were better left unsaid. "That's a good part of why I didn't use the bell test, by the way, even though it is somewhat traditional. In your brother's case, I know of at least two weaknesses, and I could probably find more if I had more information about him.

"But that's also beside the point. If you want to kill him... well, you could always go to some pedophilic snake and learn all sorts of ninjutsu. Of course, that would involve becoming even worse than Itachi, not to mention becoming the butt-monkey of a fifty-year-old pedophile. Or... you could take my advice and kill him as a Konoha shinobi. It's really your choice in that regard. Just keep in mind what I told you earlier about the 'snake' option -- if you try that, I'll kill you.

"Now, though, we need to work on the first step towards attaining any goal: defining it. In this case, you want to kill your brother. Well, like I said, that's good. So, how have you envisioned it happening? Perhaps training until you're 'stronger' than him and confronting him, having some sort of epic battle which ends with him broken and bleeding at your feet and begging for mercy? Let me tell you this right now: if that's what you want, forget it. That's how samurai do things. We're not samurai -- we're ninja. If you want to become a samurai, of course," I commented, chuckling, "I'm pretty sure I can find you a trainer or two. That won't help you when Itachi poisons your food or kills you in your sleep, but they're the people who go for that sort of thing."

Sasuke just glared at me again. Frowning, I removed the genjutsu portion of my "shut-them-up" no jutsu. Unfortunately, my raven-haired student didn't recognize what I'd done.

"Now, the first step to getting what you want is deciding exactly what it is that you want. In this case, that means deciding what's important to you. Does it matter to you whether or not Itachi knows who killed him? Does it matter whether or not you kill him with your hands or kunai, or is offing him by poison acceptable to you? Keep in mind that the more restrictions you place on yourself, the more difficult your goal will become. If you insist on him knowing that it was you who ended his life, sneak attacks are out, and offing him in his sleep is also out of the question... and both offer better chances of success than just walking up to him and challenging him to a battle. If you insist on doing it with your own hands or weapons, that eliminates poison as a possibility, and I have some very effective poisons that you can use."

I chuckled at that last statement and unsealed a liter bottle of a clear fluid from the inside of my jacket.

"See this?" I asked. "It's called 'sarin', although it's also known as 'O-Isopropyl methylphosphonofluoridate'. Don't worry; I don't expect you to remember that last name. More to the point, it's a colorless, odorless, flavorless liquid. It dissolves in water, making the resultant mixture practically indistinguishable from the original fluid. When heated even slightly, it forms a colorless, odorless gas." I smirked. "It's also one of the most lethal poisons in existence. A single drop is more than enough to kill most people, and, potentially worse, it can be absorbed through the skin. In other words, you don't have to drink it -- a drop falling on your skin is enough to kill you. An open container in the same room will result in evaporation, leading to an invisible cloud of gas, of which a single breath can kill... although you don't even have to breathe it, so holding your breath won't work. And even if they're not exposed to a lethal dose, the victim is often crippled for life.

"Following exposure, the victim will experience some running of the nose, feel a bit tight in the chest, and have difficulty seeing in the dark. Not long after that, they'll have trouble breathing, feel sick, and start to drool. As the poison progresses through their system, they'll continue to lose control of their bodily functions. They'll vomit, urinate, and defecate, before losing control of most of their muscles. A little twitching and jerking later, they'll go comatose and suffocate amidst a series of convulsive spasms.

"This is the sort of weapon that ninja use, Sasuke," I told him. "It's a bit messy for my tastes, but it's something that I've found incredibly useful, especially since I'm immune to it. Ideally, when a ninja assassinates a target, the target never knows who killed them. So... is it important to you that Itachi knows it was you who ended his life? Is it important that you end his life with your hands?

"Think it over," I finished, smiling as I loosened Sasuke's bonds, "and get back to me when you're done. Once you've decided, we'll work on a plan. In the meantime, I'm going to be going over more normal lessons on ninjutsu, starting tomorrow."

Quickly freeing Sasuke, I muttered a quick good-bye before using shunshin no jutsu to leave. The emo-duck had enough to think over for now, even if it was tempting to throw in a tickle-me-Emo doll and instruct him to keep it intact until our next meeting.

-----------

Five minutes later, as I was heading to meet Naruto, my travels were interrupted by a small hail of kunai. Casually dodging, I noticed that my attacker was my recently-released "genius" of a student. I sighed and once again subdued him, tying him to a convenient tree.

Once again, it took me less than a minute... and this time I didn't have the advantage of surprise.

"Now," I said, shaking my head, "that was just pathetic. Care to tell me what the hell you think you were doing?"

Inwardly rolling my eyes as I heard the resultant spew of overdramatic indignation mixed with teenaged emo-angst, I shook my head and shut him up again.

"Right," I stated. "To sum it up, you think that I don't understand what you're going through and are offended by my approach."

With that I glared at him, focusing a bit of killing intent into my gaze. "Do you think that you're the only one to lose your family?" I asked, allowing anger to seep into my voice tone. "Do you think that you're the only one to lose people you cared for to an act of betrayal by someone you trusted? Do you think it makes you special somehow?"

I turned around, shifting the wire in my hand so that my student wouldn't choke, and visibly took a series of breaths to calm myself before I turned back towards my student.

"Let me tell you something," I told him after a moment. "You're not unique in that regard. You're not the only one to lose your family. In fact, of our team, Sakura's the only one who still has hers. Naruto's family died the day he was born, and I'll never see my family again thanks to a particularly idiotic ninja. You're not the only one to lose everyone you care for. In fact, it's happened to me three times."

Sasuke's eyes widened at that.

"You're not even the only person to be betrayed by someone you trusted," I finished, the anger beginning to drain from my voice before it promptly reappeared as the subject changed. "Thanks to... well, thanks to a... certain person, I was forced to watch helplessly as my best friend's son was tortured for twelve years. So don't tell me I don't understand, Sasuke. I know what you've gone through quite well. I know the burning desire for vengeance, the feeling that you have nothing left, the hatred of those responsible for your loss...

"The difference between us, Sasuke, is that I know how to separate myself from those emotions, to try to look at things objectively and to ensure that I am not blinded by hatred. I know how to plan. I know how to break a task down into its components, and to analyze those in order to develop a way to achieve my goals. That's what I meant when I said that as you are, the best you can hope for is a mutual take-down.

"Your hatred, your anger... they can be weapons, yes, but only if you use them. There's a saying where I come from that, roughly translated, means 'rule your emotions, do not let your emotions rule you'. As you are, you are ruled by your emotions. You do not know how to focus them; how to make them your tool. As you are, your hatred, your anger... they only serve to weaken you.

"If you don't want to learn from me, I'll find you another teacher, although that will lower your chances of successfully killing Itachi. I can't help it in that case. Otherwise, search your heart for the answers to the questions I asked you earlier and tell me what you find when our team meets tomorrow. For now, I need to talk to Naruto-kun, so I guess I'll see you then."

With that I once again released Sasuke's bonds and used shunshin no jutsu to leave, although this time Sasuke had a thoughtful look on his face.

-----------

Finding Naruto was never a difficult task for me; I had spent enough time following him and learning his habits that I knew all of his favorite spots. It took all of ten minutes after I left the Emo Avenger behind to find Naruto, most of which was spent travelling between the first three places I checked.

In retrospect the fact that he'd be training should have been obvious. Like Sasuke, Naruto was running through kata in his favorite training yard. Like duck-boy, Naruto's kata were a mess. Unlike the brooding menace, Naruto's problems were due to the lack of availability of help, not the lack of the will or desire to seek it.

While Iruka-kun could probably help Naruto with the problem -- and certainly knew enough to do so -- he could only help so much thanks to other commitments, after all. I'd have to straighten out his form... correct his timing... I paused in my thoughts as I noticed a decidedly non-standard maneuver mixed in -- it was certainly an impressive improvisation for someone at his level, if I read the position of his imaginary opponent correctly.

Perhaps I would have less work cut out for me than I'd thought, especially if I could get a taijutsu expert or two to help, although I shuddered at the thought of exposing him to Gai. No... Gai was out. It would have to be someone else... someone who would know taijutsu well enough... and who wouldn't show up two hours late and spend most of his time reading porn instead of actually teaching. Jin-sensei was stuck at the border with Rock, so he was out.... Hokage-sama was too busy.... Tenzou might be able to help from time to time, but not on a regular basis without orders. Every other jounin I could think of wouldn't be willing to help, either because of the identity of the student or because of the identity of the person asking, or would provide help with an unacceptably high price.

Special jounin? I couldn't think of anyone.

Chuunin, then? Iruka was too busy.... Kei or Yuri? I almost laughed at that thought. Even if they weren't out patrolling the border with Jin-sensei... no. Besides, I couldn't guarantee that they'd be willing to help, especially since they still blamed me for them getting that nickname.

I probably shouldn't have responded like I did to their introduction... even if they did consistently remind me of those old OAVs from my original world. Seriously, what on Earth was I supposed to say when I found out that my genin team-mates were going to be a red-headed girl named Kei and a blue-haired girl named Yuri, both of whom favored skimpy clothing, and who introduced themselves as "Konoha's Lovely Angels"?

All things considered, "Crap. I'm getting stuck with the frigging Dirty Pair," was a perfectly reasonable reaction. How was I supposed to know that they hadn't earned... err... that reputation yet?

Hell, how was I supposed to know that they would?

Noting that my mind had been wandering, I forcibly brought it back to the task at hand and realized that if Naruto were to get help from someone other than me, it would have to be from one of his fellow genin... most of whom would involve the same problems as with the jounin. In fact, the only person I could think of was... yes, that would work.

It looked like I had one more training exercise for my team.

I forcibly shifted my attention back to Naruto's training, noting that he had started target practice with his kunai. Overall his technique was reasonable, but his accuracy was sub-par. Iruka-kun must have worked with him on that, although...

Damn. It was probably the kunai, not Naruto's throwing technique. I'd have to test that theory, but if it was...

Deciding that I'd seen enough I jumped down from the tree I'd taken a position in, alerting Naruto to my presence. My favorite student quickly turned to face me, fingering a kunai and preparing to throw it before he recognized me.

"Good reflexes," I complimented him. "Could I see that kunai?"

Blinking and looking somewhat confused Naruto approached me and handed me his weapon. Giving the blond-haired jinchuuriki a smile I tested the weapon's balance before using a somewhat obscure technique to focus chakra into the blade.

The balance wasn't off, but the fact that the kunai promptly cracked when subjected to the stresses of the technique I used was rather telling of the quality of its metal. The fact that my smile promptly reversed itself probably spoke volumes to my student.

"We really need to get you better equipment," I commented, staring at the weapon. "That shouldn't have happened."

"Ne, Sensei, what was that?"

I looked up. "It's a quick way to check the quality of metal in a blade," I told him. "It's pretty easy to learn, but it ruins the weapon if it doesn't meet the standard you test it against, so nowadays it's mostly used by blacksmiths for quality control. I'll teach it to you sometime, if you'd like."

Naruto just nodded, his smile easily visible in the twilight.

"For now, though, I think you should know a few things." Frowning, I removed a few kunai from my belt-pouch. "First, I don't know about the rest of your weapons, but that one, at least, was... rather sub-standard. The amount of chakra I used was less than half what I use to test my own weapons, meaning that the metal was nearly two times worse than the minimum I'll accept for my own use." Admittedly, my standards were... unusually high, but when you considered that I paid more than fifty times as much for each of my kunai than most jounin were willing to spend on a disposable weapon, I thought that they were justified. Besides, I didn't consider my kunai quite that disposable, considering the sheer amount of effort it took to engrave a number of seals on them. Smiling, I handed the weapons to my blond-haired pupil. "I'll see about getting you some more... normal... kunai later, but here are a few of mine. They're a bit... special, so you should be able to get quite a bit of use out of them."

Special was a bit of an understatement. I had used several types of kunai over the years; these were my most "normal" variety, and the work-horse of my standard compliment of "normal" weapons. Basically, they were normal kunai that had been hardened to handle being wrapped in explosive notes and used to set off one of my C-4 bunshin.

Well, that and they had a few self-repair seals on them. Kunai that would survive the resulting explosion were... expensive.

Grinning, I decided to show Naruto the trick. "You see those seals on the side of the blade?" I asked, pointing to a series of intricate carvings about the size of the whites of my thumbnails.

"Yeah," Naruto replied, "What do they do?"

I just smiled and pulled out another of my kunai. After a moment of concentration I formed a blade of wind in my other hand, using it to nick the blade. "See that?"

"Yeah," my student answered.

"Well, watch this," I told him, cutting my hand, focusing a bit of chakra into my blood, and letting the blood fall onto the seals.

The nick promptly repaired itself, much to my student's amazement.

"Basically, if you focus a bit of chakra into an injury and let the blood fall onto the seals, they will repair the weapon. The more repairs that are needed, the more chakra the seals require. The blood is used as a medium of transfer. If the kunai are actually broken, you need to press the missing pieces back against the rest of the blade when you do it; the seals can't create metal, so while they can repair cracks or nicks pretty well, and can remove dirt or blood... they can even clean the blade, but if they're chipped the metal comes from the inside of the thickest parts of the blade. Too much, and you wind up with a hollow kunai that'll break very easily, so try to replace any bits that get chipped off before you try to repair them."

I was speaking from experience, of course. I lost more kunai that way... especially after they got blown to pieces... or shredded... or introduced to stresses beyond design tolerances.

Oh well. The hollow kunai were quite useful in their own way; filling them with C4 and an exploding tag created a rather inconspicuous frag grenade.

"Oh, and if the seals are broken, they don't work, so be careful with that part of the blade."

Naruto nodded eagerly before assuming a pensive look. "Sensei, I can't..."

I responded with a wistful smile. "Naruto-kun," I answered, "those kunai are rightfully yours. The seal design isn't mine, after all. There's actually a rather funny story to it, but the short version is that your father was the one who invented them. Just consider them repayment for the use I've been getting out of your father's work."

Naruto's eyes widened as he looked at the tiny seals in amazement. "Sensei," he said after a moment, "what... who..."

I just sighed. "Naruto-kun," I replied, "I won't lie to you. I told you that it took me a lot of effort to get this assignment. I had to make deals with people who I really... well, who I really don't like and would rather not deal with. I had to make some promises that I'd really rather not have needed to make. One of them was to Danzou."

"But..."

"Please," I told him, "let me explain."

Naruto nodded.

"Your father was one of Danzou's more... notable... political opponents, and was also rather popular, as was your mother. Had your parents' identities been publicly known, Danzou would never have been able to argue for your execution."

Naruto sat down, his eyes wide. I just shrugged inwardly at that; it wasn't like grass stains were much of a concern, seeing as I'd be trying to replace that jumpsuit shortly.

"You see, Danzou is among the more... traditionally minded... members of the village, which is a polite way of saying that he only views people as tools and only cares about their welfare as long as that benefits him. He views the seal on your stomach as an abomination... not because of the damage the kyuubi caused, but rather because it's a 'waste of resources', to use his words. He wants you killed so that the kyuubi will be... available... to seal into another child, using the more 'traditional' seals, which will allow him to use the child as a weapon."

Naruto had paled quite a bit.

"As I said," I continued, "had your parents' identities been known, he would have faced considerably greater opposition. Between the Hokage's and my own efforts, we managed to stop him... and, to be honest, his efforts were probably more effective than my own."

That was something of an understatement. The Third had simply refused to allow it, while I had buried explosives under the room in which the topic was being "discussed".

"That, of course," I added, "didn't stop him from sending assassins, but... well, I made sure that they stopped."

That was the polite way of saying that I hung the assassins I caught from the Hokage's tower by their intestines, with said entrails wrapped around their necks. The message was made more effective by the fact that most of them were still alive before I hung them and choked to death after a few hours. I never did find out who sent a number of them, but at least two were Danzou's doing.

Fortunately, they finally stopped entirely after the... incident... with the failed treaty with Kumo. My opponents were... considerably more careful... with taking action against me after that.

"To understand what happened, though, you need to understand that while the Third and I agree on a lot of things, we don't agree about everything. Your father was popular, yes, but he had a lot of enemies, both inside and outside the village. Sarutobi-sama believes that it's best that people not know who your parents were, to keep those enemies from trying to kill you. I believed that people should know, to help them understand your father's dying wishes. That's changed somewhat; what's done is done. Now... now I believe that you should know, that you deserve to know."

I sighed. "Unfortunately, Danzou told the council that I was lying when I tried to defend you by bringing up your parentage. The Third knows better, of course, but since he didn't want that to become common knowledge, he didn't say anything. When I mentioned that I don't lie -- it's a policy of mine; I'll leave things out or let people jump to conclusions, but I won't actually tell a falsehood. Anyway, when I brought that up, he claimed that I was deluding myself in my grief, that you were stillborn and that the Fourth used a random orphan, onto whom I was projecting my feelings."

I sighed again. "I know better, of course. I was there when you were born... I still remember the look of pride on your father's face when he looked at you, even amidst the chaos caused by the kyuubi's attack. I remember him dying, voluntarily condemning his soul to eternal torment in order to protect you and the village, believing that you would grow up with your mother. I remember returning to the hospital carrying you, only to find that your mother had died...."

Several tears had escaped my eyes as I remembered the second time I had lost everything. After a moment I shook my head, forcing myself back to the story.

"In private, later, the Hokage and I had a shouting match over what had happened. Neither of us was exactly happy with the other at the time. That's how I know why he stayed silent.

"Regardless, Danzou also knew who your parents were. Their deaths were... convenient... for him, and the presence of an heir who could rally support for their political positions was... unacceptable to him. As such, he argued to discredit what I said and that was part of why he tried to have you killed. Even today, he fears you learning their identities, which is why, when I tried to get assigned as your sensei, he threatened to block the assignment. He could have; he has both the power and the influence to accomplish that."

Another sigh escaped my mouth as I finally got to the point. "To get the assignment, I had to promise him that I wouldn't tell you who your parents were, even though I desperately want to."

Naruto was clutching the kunai he had been inspecting earlier like it was a lifeline, with several tears falling down his face.

"It's okay to cry," I assured him. "As long as you don't wallow in your tears it actually helps a bit. Don't let your sorrow consume you, but if you hold back your emotions too much, they'll build up and break you. I know the teachers in the Academy tell you not to show what you really feel, but... that's stupid, really, even in the sense that they mean it."

With that I put a hand on Naruto's shoulder to comfort him. "Besides," I said, smiling, "even if I can't tell you who your father was, I can still tell you about him and drop hints. Your father was pretty famous, and if you can figure it out on your own..."

"I understand," he replied in a somewhat choked voice.

I sat down next to him and forcibly changed the topic. "So, would you like to hear the story behind those kunai?"

Naruto's smile suddenly reached his eyes as he nodded enthusiastically. "Yes," he exclaimed cheerfully, all signs of his previous sadness suddenly replaced with intense curiosity.

I grinned; thinking back to what had happened was always worth a chuckle. "Well, it started about two years before you were born. Your father had just had a... difficult day..." I paused, knowing that I couldn't tell him that he had smashed his desk in out of frustration with the paperwork; only one person in Konoha had that problem. "Anyway, he decided to go to one of the local bars. I usually don't drink, but he was... rather persuasive." In other words, he dragged me away from the project I was working on -- literally. "So, your father was pretty drunk, while I had switched my sake for some water; I think he was too smashed to notice, which is saying a lot... it was pretty hard to pull that trick on him most of the time, even if I bribed the bartender into helping. So, after hearing him rant for an hour or so about how evil the horrors he faced that day were..." They were mostly weapons requisition forms, with a few other supply requests thrown in on top of the usual missions and debriefings. "The conversation drifted to logistics -- more specifically, how often we needed to replace our weapons and how hard it was to do that when away on a prolonged mission, when he made a joke about how nice it would be if our weapons would fix themselves when they broke. He got a rather strange look on his face and started doodling on a napkin before passing out; I had to drag him home." Naruto's mother had not been amused. "Anyway, I kept his drawings, and when I showed them to him later he said they were a seal design." I chuckled a bit. "We refined the design somewhat -- it took me forever to understand how it worked -- and, after a few weeks, it became the seals that are on those kunai."

Naruto was staring at me with a look that was somewhere between awe and incredulity. "My father created this while he was drunk?" he asked.

I smirked. "When I asked, he told me that he came up with some of his best ideas when he was drunk and started muttering something about hiraishin."

"Hiraishin?"

"Hiraishin no jutsu was your father's most famous technique, one that earned him a good bit of his reputation. He'd use fuuinjutsu to create something called a 'jutsu-shiki' and attach it to something, usually a kunai. When he activated the jutsu-shiki, he'd instantly travel to it. I don't know the mechanics of how the technique worked, beyond the fact that he'd disappear and reappear in a flash of yellow light, but he'd use it in a number of rather inventive ways. In the war with Stone, for instance, he'd give kunai with attached jutsu-shiki to his allies and have them throw them into the middle of the enemy formations. Then he'd teleport in and wreak havoc before teleporting to the next kunai. Between that and the other uses of the technique -- he could create a jutsu-shiki on anything he could touch -- he became so feared that Stone actually ordered its ninja to retreat if they saw him in the area."

At that, Naruto's mouth dropped.

"I don't know much more than that about hiraishin, unfortunately," I told him. "I do, however, know the training method for another one of his jutsu, something called 'rasengan', although I've never been able to fully master it. I'll teach you that when you're ready; it builds on the water-walking exercise and you haven't learned that yet, so it'll take a bit, but it's on the list. It is part of your heritage, after all."

"Thank you, Sensei," Naruto replied, his sincerity showing in his voice.

"Well," I responded, "it's the least I can do. Still... becoming Hokage won't be easy, and you'll never do it if you just imitate your father. You'll have to make your own way, your own path." I grinned evilly. "And don't forget that you have my techniques to learn, as well. Even the simplest of my techniques can turn the tide of a war," I said, thinking of what a well-placed brick of C4 could do to a dam, "and I fully intend to teach you every single one that you can learn."

Naruto rather vocally protested that he could and would learn them all, something that I had anticipated.

"No, Naruto-kun, you can't. Some of my techniques would kill anyone but me who tried to use them," I said, thinking of Suiton: Sarinryuudan no jutsu, "and some of them just aren't suited for you. You can and will surpass me one day, but it'll be following a different path than I took, and the jutsu you learn will reflect that. Some of my jutsu will be more suited for Sakura-kun to learn and others will be more suited for Sasuke-kun. The point is that they won't be the same jutsu. No two people follow the same path as ninja, Naruto-kun. My job as a teacher is to guide you on your path, not to drag you down mine."

Naruto got a confused look on his face. I just chuckled at that.

"It will make more sense tomorrow, Naruto-kun," I clarified. "I'll be teaching you a bit about how ninjutsu work and why different people use different jutsu. For now, though, I wanted to talk to you about a few other things."

Naruto nodded his comprehension.

"First, the Third's law. Under its terms, only two people are allowed to tell people about your... prisoner... under most circumstances. Specifically, only the Hokage and you. The law was worded so that if you found out about it, you would be able to tell people. I advise you not to tell people you don't trust, obviously, but I think it would be a good thing if you could find someone who would accept you for who you are. Also, it only applies to telling people who don't know about the seal. If you tell someone about your... tenant... I can answer any of their questions or clarify things."

Naruto's emotions played around on his face for a bit. I smiled at his confusion.

"If you tell someone, it's a sign of trust. A secret like that can destroy a relationship, true, but the show of trust involved in revealing it means that your bond with them will become stronger if it survives. I'll do my best to ensure that you aren't hurt if you reveal it, and it's far better for someone to hear it from you than from someone else, especially someone who would only tell them a biased version of the story."

Naruto looked at me sadly. "Do you really think that anyone would..."

I sighed. "Yes, I do. I know of at least five people who know and care about you anyway, myself among them, and there are three people who I'm pretty sure would accept you if they found out the truth. There may be more, but I don't know."

"Who..."

I grinned. "The people who know and care for you are myself, Iruka-kun, the Third Hokage, Teuchi-san and Ayame-san. The people who I'm pretty sure would accept you are Hyuuga Hinata, Sarutobi Konohamaru and Uchiha Sasuke. In Sasuke's case, I don't think he'd care about the fox beyond the side-effects of having it sealed into you; in the others, I think that they would respond positively to the knowledge. Konohamaru would probably think that's it's 'cool', actually, although I'd advise not telling him since I'm not sure about his ability to keep his mouth shut."

"And..."

"Hinata?"

"Yes..."

"Hin ata would probably cry for a bit before hugging you, although it could be the other way around. In her case, I don't think she'd care about the fox beyond its impact on your life."

"Why..."

"Do I think that?" I paused for a moment. "Honestly, there's part of it that I think you should hear from her, but I will tell you that Hyuuga Hinata is the most genuinely... kind... person I know. She hates to see people hurt, especially people she cares for." I sighed. "That's actually caused her quite a bit of trouble since she can't bring herself to go all out against her family. Regardless, I think she'd see and understand the pain you've gone through and respond according to that."

I smirked. "We're getting off-topic, though. The point is that you can tell people, and that there are some people who you might want to tell. Sasuke-kun and Sakura-kun, notably... they are your teammates, after all, and they'll at least have to know quite a bit about your abilities." I chuckled nervously and scratched the back of my head. "I'm going to have to tell them a bit about the side-effects of the seal, actually, so telling them the source of them isn't that much of a stretch. Besides, Sakura-kun might be a better choice to explain the details to you -- I'm not too good at doing that. I tend to make my explanations a bit too complicated, so..."

Naruto looked up. "You think that I won't understand?" he asked.

I shook my head. "I think that you'd understand more if Sakura-kun were to help me explain," I corrected. "I don't think you're stupid, just that you're not used to the way that I talk when I'm trying to explain technical issues like what I know of how the seal works and I don't think Sakura-kun would have the same problem."

Naruto nodded before he suddenly looked pensive. "Do you have to tell them about..."

I frowned. "They'll need to know that you have a lot more chakra than most people and that you heal quickly, at the very least. They're extremely likely to see both on missions. The fact that you have high stamina and a fast recovery rate are pretty much the same. They'll know that you have difficulty with precise control pretty quickly, too, so it's no use to hide that. The emotional resonance issue is also something that they'll probably notice on missions..."

Naruto just looked confused. At seeing that I just chuckled again.

"See what I mean?" I asked. "I meant the fact that you have more chakra when you're feeling a strong emotion," I clarified. "That's because of the way the seal works, actually; that doesn't happen with most people."

Naruto frowned, his features scrunched up in thought.

I chuckled in amusement. "You hadn't realized, had you?" I asked. "Well, it will become a lot more obvious during missions. It's the result of the seal being designed to help protect you from danger, after all."

Naruto's eyes widened as he started gaping. Personally, I thought it made him look a bit like a catfish.

"I told you before, didn't I?" I asked. "The Fourth didn't think of you as a monster or as a weapon. You were... important to him. He cared for you. He chose you as the fox's prison in large part because he couldn't think of anyone who he could trust more to bear the responsibility of protecting Konoha from the fox than he could trust you."

I put a comforting hand on my student's shoulder as his emotions once again turned towards sadness. Sooner or later I'd have to work with him on hiding his emotions more effectively but, for now, it was extremely convenient.

"He trusted the village to honor his dying request. He believed that they'd understand... that they'd see you as you are, not as what you protect them from. The fact that they didn't..." I sighed, pausing a moment to wipe a few tears from my face. "It's something that I'm not sure I'll ever be truly able to forgive them for."

Naruto's eyes widened in shock.

"Oh, don't worry," I reassured him. "I'm not going to go out and start killing them or anything like that. I think the best revenge... for me, anyway... would be to show them the truth, to let them see just who it is they've been treating as they have, to let them punish themselves with guilt. I would no more betray this village than you would."

Of course, that was because my first loyalty was never to the village in the first place, but Naruto didn't need to know that.

"We all have our reasons for fighting," I continued. "In my case, I protect Konoha because there are people who are important to me here, people like you, Hyuuga-sama, Sarutobi-san.... That's why I fight -- to protect the people who are precious to me. That's why I am a ninja. Someday, you'll have to come to the same decision, to find your own reason... and, when you do, I'll do everything I can to help you along your way."

It probably wasn't a good idea for me to list my loyalties in order like that, but I was too emotionally involved in the conversation to care. I never did get around to discussing the rest of what I had originally intended; we spent the rest of our talk on minor things and telling Naruto a number of inconsequential stories about his parents. I had thrown enough emotional curveballs for the time being.

Eventually, I left. It was genuinely late and both Naruto and I needed our sleep. On the other hand, Naruto and Sasuke's tendency to train until late at night could be put to productive use, even if it did have disturbing implications in some ways.

-----------

The next morning I again met my team at Training Ground Five. Naruto was the first to arrive, his facial expression alternating between smiles and thoughtful frowns as he sat on a nearby log. His arrival was shortly followed by Sasuke's. I idly noted that Sasuke seemed less constipated than usual and hoped that he had thought about the questions I had asked him the previous day.

When Sakura sedately approached the group and greeted both of her teammates, I decided to reveal my presence and appeared in a plume of smoke.

"Yo," I greeted, an exaggerated smile gracing my features as I waved to my students.

Due to the fact that my students all greeted me at the same time and in considerably different manners, I couldn't make heads or tails of their reactions beyond the actual content of what they said, which was, basically, "Hello."

"So," I said after a moment, "Let's get started. We have a long day ahead of us. I'm going to begin by teaching you a bit about what it means to be a shinobi, after which we're going to be doing our first D-rank mission. Frankly, that bit will suck, but we need to finish a number of them before we can move on to more interesting missions, so it's good to get them over with."

Naruto jumped up and moved to object. I just silenced him with a gesture.

"Questions later," I told him. "After that," I continued, "I'll teach you a bit about ninjutsu and a training exercise that also doubles as an extremely useful technique. If any of you manage to complete it before we break for the day, I'll teach you something else. We should split up around dinner; I have to talk to Sasuke about something, so I'll handle it then.

"So, any questions?"

Sasuke and Naruto both spoke up at the same time; I silenced both of them with a brief burst of killing intent.

"One person at a time, please," I corrected them. "Naruto-kun, you go first."

"Why do you say that our mission is..."

"Going to suck?" I interrupted. "Because it's D-rank. D-rank missions are the lowest, easiest, most boring, most inane tasks that are still technically missions for ninja. Since we're just beginning as a team and you are just starting as official ninja, we're stuck with them until I can beg, scheme, scam, bribe, or blackmail a better mission out of Hokage-sama."

Sakura moved to object. "But, Sensei, that's-"

I just waved her off. "You have no idea how much D-rank missions suck. You'll learn. I won't do anything too objectionable, but I don't want us to have to do even one more of those things than we absolutely have to. Besides, it's something of a tradition to do something like that before getting your first C-rank mission. My own genin team got ours when I stole the Hokage's collection of porn and threatened to burn it if I had to weed one more garden as a so-called 'mission'."

Of course, that happened after Kei got frustrated with the last garden we had to weed and torched it with a katon jutsu, starting a fire that burned down several city blocks and caused almost two thousand ryou in miscellaneous property damage. Sarutobi-san had been rather sympathetic with my plight, all things considered, although he did make me buy him the next volume of Icha Icha and rant at me for threatening Jiraiya's so-called literary masterpieces.

I honestly wondered what Sarutobi's reaction would be to Lady Chatterley's Lover if I could ever get it translated into Japanese. It was far better than Jiraiya's work.

I mean, really. Icha Icha was so unimaginative.

Forcing my thoughts back to the task at hand, I noticed that Naruto seemed torn between being disappointed and amused while Sakura seemed just plain disturbed. Sasuke, on the other hand, seemed to be actively upset.

"How will this help us get stronger?" he asked.

"Honestly?" I replied. "It won't. I'll try to make the missions into a form of training, of course, and D-rank missions are low-risk and usually don't take too much time, so we'll have plenty of time for other things. Still, putting up with a few D-rank missions is part of being a ninja... and never forget that, in this world, ninja have real ultimate power."

Of course, I said that last bit in my native language, confusing my students. At seeing the expressions on their faces, I just started snickering. It would have been especially fun if I had continued by telling them that the purpose of being a ninja was to flip out and cut people's heads off.

If Naruto wasn't a concern, I might have done just that... and it was true, after a fashion, although I preferred filling my targets' bathtubs with liquid sarin... even if I might have gone a bit overboard when I tried that strategy with that so-called business magnate's swimming pool.

Oh, well. At least I didn't have to worry about contamination issues -- the nuke took care of that rather nicely, and most people understood when I pointed out that he'd been trafficking in little children... or parts of them, anyway.

Thinking back to that discovery always killed my sense of humor rather nicely, especially when I remembered that Danzou had had dealings with the bastard.

"Don't worry about that last bit," I dismissively instructed. "It was something of a joke. Maybe I'll explain sometime."

Seeing that the last bit put off my students somewhat, I decided to change tracks. "So," I stated, "you're now ninja. I'm not sure how much the Academy taught you about just what that means, and every time I think I've gotten that bit straightened out, someone comes along who makes me really think over what I thought I knew. Accordingly, I'm going to share a bit of that with you. This is probably going to be the most important lesson I have for you, so pay attention. We'll be revisiting it periodically, but feel free to ask questions... I want all of you to understand this. Naruto-kun, that's especially true in your case; if you want to be Hokage, you'll need to understand every bit of it. If I say something you don't understand, I want you to ask me what I mean."

Naruto nodded enthusiastically while Sakura assumed a relatively normal attentive posture and Sasuke looked disinterested.

"Sasuke," I chided, "I'll get to what we talked about last night before we start on our mission, but understanding this will help you kill your brother."

Well, that brought him out of his funk and caused him to lean forward eagerly.

"Right," I continued. "Let's begin with the nature of power; this ties in nicely with the question of why we fight, so I'll use it as a starting point. Over the years, the issue of just where a shinobi's strength comes from has been rather widely and... vocally... debated. The simple truth of the matter is that there are a number of answers, many of which are more accurate than others. It's not a simple issue, and there are many factors, but the most important one is motivation. The more you want to become strong, the more you do. Each hidden village has its own philosophy about what motive is best. In Kirigakure, for instance, they believe that the desire for survival is the best motivation, and regularly confront their shinobi with the choice between becoming stronger -- with a rather twisted definition of 'strength' -- or dying. By contrast, Otogakure believes that the best motivation is the desire to please a fifty year old pedophile with a thing for snakes."

Sasuke snorted, while Sakura looked shocked at that last bit.

"I'm not kidding," I added. "They actually believe that."

Naruto started chuckling.

"It's not funny," I corrected him. "I wasn't joking."

Eventually, I managed to get them to understand, although it took pointing out that they meant a specific fifty year old pedophile with a thing for snakes.

"Anyway, now that we've calmed down," I continued, "I suppose I should mention Konoha's philosophy... or, rather, our lack of one. Officially, our philosophy is that the best motivation is to fight to protect the people important to you, which, ideally, should be your comrades.

"Unfortunately, a good part of Konoha's shinobi are hypocrites in that regard, so I had to find my own answer. Personally, I believe that true power comes from unleashing ridiculous levels of overkill against people who threaten the legacies of those who died protecting you. Consider that my first lesson to the team. Oh, and Sasuke?"

Sasuke looked up, meeting my gaze as Sakura looked somewhat disturbed.

"Your brother qualifies."

Sasuke got an evil grin on his face as he considered what I meant.

"Ne, Sensei?" Naruto asked, "What does 'overkill' mean?"

Ah, a student after my own heart. "Don't worry; if you hang around me long enough, you'll understand. For now, though, just remember that I believe it's a good thing."

Naruto nodded in comprehension while Sakura's disturbed expression deepened somewhat.

"Anyway, while the motive is important, it's also important to realize that while your motives generate emotions which you can focus into becoming stronger, those emotions can also cloud your judgment. If you allow that to happen, the strength you derive becomes an illusion, and actually makes you weaker. Take anger for instance. If you use it, focus it constructively, and make it your tool, it can become a great strength. If you allow it to consume you, it can blind you and cloud your judgment, making you weaker than you would be without it. The same goes for your other emotions.

"Many shinobi will tell you that ninja should be without emotions, simply tools to be wielded by their masters. They are fools, and those who strive for that ideal are ticking time bombs who will eventually become a danger to their allies. It's all too common and a frequent source of missing-nin."

Naruto moved to ask a question. "Ne, sensei, what are missing-nin?"

As Sakura and Sasuke began to wear what I interpreted as expressions of disgust I moved to interrupt. "Essentially, ninja who have betrayed their village. It's a bit more complicated than that, of course -- not every missing-nin has actually done so. Regardless, anyone who has been declared a missing nin is regarded by their village as a traitor... officially, at least."

"Officially?" Sakura asked.

"Yes, officially," I responded. "Some missing nin have been declared such as part of infiltration missions, or as cover for other assignments. Also, Kirigakure is infamous for classifying any ninja who fails a mission as a missing nin. It's part of what gives their ninja a reputation for never quitting -- after all, if failure on a mission means being hunted down and killed by your village..."

Both Sakura and Naruto looked sick at that idea.

I grinned. "Kirigakure is nicknamed the 'bloody mist' for a reason, after all... and that's only part of it."

Sasuke actually looked interested. "Che," he said. "Sounds interesting."

I shrugged. "Sure, if you like psychotic ninja who are more dangerous to their comrades than to their enemies," I acknowledged, "or constant civil wars... or being forced to slaughter your classmates as a graduation exam... or there's always the way they treat people who have kekkei genkai."

Now Sasuke looked really interested. "Oh? How do they?"

"They slaughter them," I cheerfully replied, causing Sasuke's interest to suddenly dissipate. "Or, more accurately, it's not uncommon for parents to kill their own children if they're born with one and didn't know their spouse came from a clan with one. After that, of course, they kill their spouse and any other children. They even have a name for the practice -- 'bloodline divorce'."

Sasuke's expression had changed to a look of disgust during my explanation, while Sakura's had grown steadily paler. Naruto was actually trembling a bit.

"Sensei," my normally hyperactive pupil asked, "what's a 'kekkei genkai'?"

"Basically, a hereditary ability unique to a certain clan or family. To give you a few examples, the Kaguya clan could manipulate their bones before they died out, while the Sessui clan could easily manipulate water and could eventually learn to create and manipulate ice. Here in Konoha the most famous kekkei genkai are the Hyuuga clan's byakugan and the Uchiha clan's sharingan."

Naruto's head suddenly turned to Sasuke.

"Sasuke-kun hasn't activated the sharingan yet, Naruto-kun," I told him. "As for what it does, I don't know all of its powers but its most famous ability is the power to copy ninjutsu -- an Uchiha can learn most jutsu just by seeing them used once while they're using the sharingan. It's a pretty useful ability, but it does have weaknesses. Unfortunately, though, we're getting off track. We don't have time for a detailed analysis of the sharingan if we're going to accomplish the rest of what I have planned for today. If you ask me later, I'll tell you more about it... and, Sasuke, that goes for you, as well. I know some things about the sharingan that not even your family did, although I hardly know everything."

Sasuke was staring me with wide eyes as I finished that last sentence.

"Now," I continued, deciding to try to bring the topic back on track, "where were we? Ah, yes. Motives. While every village has a different philosophy as to what motive is strongest, not every ninja in each village holds their village's ideal motives. Similarly, each ninja fights for a different purpose, which may or may not be the same as what they or their village believes to be the ideal..."

I dropped off, noticing that Naruto looked confused.

"Naruto-kun," I said after a moment, "think of it this way: you might think that something is the best way to do something, but not actually do it that way. I'm just saying that a person's reason for fighting isn't always what they or their village says it ideally should be."

"Okay," Naruto said while nodding in understanding.

"Good," I replied, smiling. "Loyalty is much the same way. Ideally, each and every ninja should love their village and be loyal to their village's interests, as personified by their village's leader and as set forth by their leader's orders. In other words, the common belief is that Konoha ninja should be loyal to Konoha and, accordingly, follow Konoha's leader -- the Hokage -- without question, trusting in him to protect the village and to look after the village's interests. Similarly, ninja from Sunagakure should follow the Kazekage, and so on."

My students nodded in comprehension, albeit with varying degrees of enthusiasm.

"The simple truth of the matter, however, is that this is not the case. Very few ninja are actually loyal to the village as a whole. Ideally speaking, the next best thing is personal loyalty to the Hokage, but... well, there are surprisingly few who fit that description."

I had let a good bit of my disgust and frustration leak into my voice during that last sentence, as evinced by my sole female student's reaction.

"Sensei?" she asked hesitantly. "Why do you say that?"

I shrugged. "You'd think that more people would have honored... or at least tried to honor... the Fourth Hokage's last request than actually did. In the end the sum total was four people, one of whom was the Third Hokage, and he faced considerable political opposition in trying to do so... and none of his supporters in the matter were ninja. In the end, the Third reluctantly decided that ensuring the Fourth Hokage's dying wishes were granted was not politically feasible and settled for a compromise of sorts."

Sakura looked sick. "You mean..."

I chuckled. "I was one of his supporters on the issue," I replied, "but I wasn't a ninja at the time. In a way, that event is part of what made me become one."

As Naruto was practically jumping out of his seat in his enthusiasm to warn me away from the current topic, I decided to acknowledge his point. "However, there's a lot I can't tell you about that story. As Naruto-kun has been trying to point out, I'm skirting the edges of a state secret as is, and the penalty for telling you without permission is death."

Sasuke and Sakura's eyes widened as they turned towards my hyperactive student in shock.

"Naruto-kun knows the secret because a traitor -- who was a chuunin, by the way -- decided to taunt him with a rather... twisted... version of it before killing him," I added. "After Naruto-kun defeated the traitor, the Hokage and I decided that it was best to simply tell him the truth of the matter."

"As if the dobe could-" Sasuke began before being cut off by a reasonable amount of killing intent.

"Don't talk about things you know nothing of," I hissed, glaring at the Uchiha survivor. "I already told you that Naruto-kun's training was actively sabotaged. Are you so insistent on maintaining your idiotic belief that Naruto-kun has no potential that you are willing to ignore the facts of the matter? I assure you that there is no way in Hell that a delusional brat will be able to defeat Itachi, so if you want to accomplish that goal, I strongly suggest that you get your head out of your posterior and wake up."

Seeing that both Naruto and Sakura were shivering and had retreated nearly twenty feet from me while Sasuke was starting to have difficulty breathing, I took a breath and calmed my aura.

"Sorry about that," I apologized to the two of them. "It's a rather sensitive issue for me. Besides, we've gotten rather far from the topic at hand."

Naruto started to cautiously approach me, although his hands were still trembling a bit. Sakura seemed much more severely effected, something that I'd have to work on. Taking a moment to calm my aura further, I approached her and tapped her shoulder.

She jumped nearly a foot up into the air, something that was rather surprising from a kneeling posture, and screamed, falling back onto her rear. I just sighed at the display, realizing that I'd have to offer her extra lessons on resisting that sort of attack.

"Sakura-kun?" I asked, trying to project a reassuring tone into my voice. "I'm sorry about that. I'm afraid that I lost my temper a bit there and let my aura show a lot more strongly than I wanted."

Her teeth chattering, she tried to stand up, only to fall back into her previous posture. "S-sensei," she asked, "wh-what..."

I sighed. "It's called 'killing intent'," I answered, "although that's a somewhat deceptive name. It's really just negative emotions projected through your chakra... things like hatred, anger, frustration, annoyance, or the desire to kill. In the field shinobi tend to focus on the last one, but this time it was more like a mixture of the middle three. I was frustrated, annoyed, and more than a bit angry, and the last few days have been more than a bit taxing, emotionally speaking. I just meant to intimidate him a little, but I underestimated how upset I was and used more than I intended. Again, I'm sorry about that."

Sakura was still shivering although Naruto seemed to have fully recovered. Still, I judged that they could both use something to calm them down, so I removed a scroll from one of my vest's pockets and opened it, smearing a little blood on a section of it to unseal its contents.

Unfortunately, Sakura jumped back at that, visibly calming as soon as she noticed the four steaming cups of green liquid that were revealed after the smoke cleared.

"Tea?" I asked, offering her a cup. "I find that it helps me calm my nerves."

Of course, it also kept me from sleeping for several hours, but that was beside the point. As Sakura cautiously took one of the porcelain cups and took a sip, I turned towards Naruto and offered him one of the others.

After he took his I took a cup for myself and approached Sasuke, pouring the remaining portion over his head. My actions elicited a cautious chuckle from Naruto and, surprisingly, Sakura.

I felt that it was a rather clear and encouraging sign that Sakura might be getting over her crush on the last Uchiha.

Seeing that what I had done didn't elicit a reaction from my dark-haired student, I removed a black marker from one of my jacket's pockets and doodled on his face, taking care to draw horns and write out various forms of "arrogant" and "jerk" at various locations.

As he was still not responding, I turned back to where Naruto was visibly stifling his laughter. "Right," I said, knowing that my arrogant student wouldn't be forgetting what I had told him anytime soon, "he's going to be out of it for a while."

That was enough to push my best friend's son over the edge. I watched his good humor for a moment before joining him in his laughter; after a moment, even Sakura gave a small smile, although it was a bit strained.

"Well," I commented, "there go my plans for the day. I doubt we'll be ready for a mission for at least a few hours, and that'll be too late. Hopefully, Sasuke-kun will have recovered in time for some training... I'll have to write off the rest of this talk for now; we can finish it tomorrow."

Naruto smiled hesitantly while Sakura looked like she wanted to talk, but was restraining herself.

"Go ahead, Sakura-kun," I told her, opening the scroll I'd pulled out earlier to a different section and smearing some blood across a different symbol, causing a rather large blanket to appear in a puff of smoke. "We have a while to talk and to get to know each other while Sasuke-kun recovers."

Sakura took another drink of the tea.

"You like it?" I asked, opening the blanket and preparing to spread it over the ground.

Sakura just nodded, apparently not trusting her voice.

"I really am sorry," I apologized. "It's just..." Another sigh escaped my lips. "Well, a lot of things have been bothering me, really... and what Sasuke-kun said managed to press a lot of buttons that have been rubbed rather raw as of late."

I turned to Naruto. "You might want to try the tea," I said, noting that he had yet to drink some. "Gyokuro isn't exactly cheap."

Sakura's eyes widened as she looked at her cup in something approaching awe while Naruto looked at me in confusion.

"Gyokuro?" he asked.

"The tea," I told him, my voice taking on a slightly amused tone. "I know you don't have much experience with the less common types of tea, but they do exist, you know..."

"N-naruto," Sakura said, regaining her voice as the effort forced her to used it, "gyokuro is one of the highest-grade, most expensive types of tea in the world."

"In Fire Country, anyway," I cheerfully agreed, laying the blanket to create a nice little picnic area. "You have no idea how hard it is to get a decent cup of tea around here... everywhere you look, it's green tea, green tea and more green tea, and most of it's bancha and low-grade sencha. I may like green tea, but there are times when I'd kill for a decent Ceylon white or an oolong."

Sakura looked confused for a moment before her eyes widened as she looked at me in shock, while Naruto just scratched the back of his head.

"Ne, sensei, what are those?" he asked sheepishly.

"Different types of tea that I used to like," I answered, smiling sadly. "I haven't been able to get any of those types since I first came to Konoha, so I've been making do with what I can get."

I'd actually tried writing a summoning contract for tea, but it simply didn't work; for some reason, it was impossible to write a contract for a food item or a beverage. Every now and then I'd revisit the attempt, but it wasn't worth the blood loss since every attempt I made to create a contract failed. Besides, I had a good idea as to why it was impossible, and, as annoying as I found the consequences, I had to applaud my predecessor's idea.

Naruto nodded his head in understanding before taking a sip of the beverage. His eyes widened slightly at the taste before he took a much deeper swallow.

"It's good," he told me, smiling as he continued to drink.

"I'm glad you like it," I responded, chuckling a bit as I took a sip from my own cup.

A few minutes later, when Naruto had finished his cup, I suddenly became a bit serious. "Naruto-kun?" I asked.

"Yes, Recca-sensei?"

"Would you mind telling the Hokage that we won't be taking a mission today? It shouldn't take long and there's something I need to talk to Sakura-kun about."

Naruto nodded in confirmation. "Sure," he responded before running off in the direction of the Hokage's tower.

That left me alone with my lone female student; Sasuke was so out of it that he wouldn't notice if I poured a cup of hot tea over his head... literally, as I'd confirmed a few minutes earlier. Just to be sure, I used a minor genjutsu on him that would prevent him from hearing our conversation. It would be easy to break, but at his level he'd need to do the seals to do so and I'd notice that.

After a moment of awkward silence I decided to speak up again. "I need to apologize to you about something else as well," I confessed.

Sakura looked up from where she was appreciating her tea; I supposed that it was a rare treat for her. "Umm... sensei, you don't..."

I shook my head. "No," I replied, "I really do." I sighed. "I'm afraid that your aunt is a bit of a... sensitive issue for me, and it's hard for me to think about her without getting emotional."

Sakura shook her head and looked down into her cup. "It's alright," she reassured me. "I understand. I... talked to her yesterday, after..."

"She told you, didn't she?" I asked, sighing and looking down at my own cup.

"Yes," she answered, nodding her head. "For what it's worth, I'm..."

I shook my head, cutting off her apology. "Don't apologize for your aunt's actions," I lightly chided her. "You were an infant... it was hardly your fault."

"But..."

I sighed again. "Mai-san hurt me, yes, but you had no role in that. I don't believe in holding people accountable for their relatives' sins... that just leads to more hatred... needless destruction.... It's an endless cycle that I want no part of."

That much was true. On the other hand, the youth of Konoha were every bit as guilty as the adults when it came to mistreating Naruto.

Sakura looked up. While I wasn't actively trying to put it there, I had relaxed my control over my facial expression slightly, and I supposed that the pain-filled, haunted expression that showed through had an impact on my student before I once again tightened my control over my expression.

"I hope you didn't have too much of a fight," I told her. "Family is... important."

Again, it was the truth. A breach between Sakura and Mai wasn't in my plans quite yet. If it came now, her family would likely blame it on me and my influence... or, worse, on Naruto. If it came later, however, with something else as the trigger... if I merely undermined the relationship, letting her family's own actions destroy their bonds... that would make the pain they experienced when the final separation occurred even stronger.

Better yet, by appearing to be trying to salvage the relationship, I reduced the chance that her family would deduce that my efforts were actually intended to undermine it. If they believed that they lost their bonds with Sakura entirely through their own actions...

My revenge would be truly sweet when my patience paid its dividends. I fully intended to savor their guilt over what their actions had wrought when they finally realized just what kind of scum they truly were.

I had been staring off into space for a few moments as I considered things, although I rather strongly suspected that just what Sakura thought I was considering was rather different than what I actually was. "I don't suppose you can truly understand...," I explained, "no one who's never lost theirs can... you don't really understand the value of those things until you lose them..."

I visibly shook myself out of my forced reminiscence. "Sorry about that," I apologized. "Anyway, I'm sure that Mai-san has her positive qualities... I'm just not the best person to tell you about them."

Actually, I was fully aware of Mai's positive qualities. She might have been an annoying, hypocritical, backstabbing bitch, but at least she had good taste in tea. Well, that and she was reasonably well-stacked.

"I understand," Sakura replied, again looking down into her now-empty cup of tea.

"Would you like another cup?" I asked, projecting a sympathetic tone into my voice as I changed the subject. Sakura almost started in surprise.

"But..."

I waved my hand in dismissal. "I don't mind," I said, quickly unsealing another cup from my scroll and handing it to her. Sakura just looked at me in surprise.

"I have a bit more tea than I know what to do with," I admitted sheepishly. "I don't mind if you drink some."

That was also true, but I didn't want to tell her that I'd gotten that tea by looting the base of a group of bandits who had been raiding caravans around the Fire/Tea border. I'd sold most of the plunder to add to the bounty on Danzou and provide money for my... projects, but I'd kept the tea.

"Thank you, Sensei," she replied, taking the cup and smelling the aroma of the tea while I sealed her old cup into a space of the scroll designated for that purpose. I'd wash it later.

We sat there in silence for a while before Sakura decided to speak up again. "Sensei?"

"Yes, Sakura-kun?" I inquired, wondering what would come next. I was, after all, in a critical phase of my plans. This conversation could change everything.

"You knew Naruto-kun's parents, right?"

I smiled wistfully, lowering my teacup. "Yes," I confirmed. "I did."

Sakura's next words, however, managed to shock me. "Who were they?" she asked.

I nearly dropped my teacup as my head snapped to face her. "Why do you want to know?" I asked, perhaps overly harshly.

Sakura blushed, refusing to meet my gaze. "It's just... Naruto-kun mentioned that he didn't know much about his parents... only what you told him about his father..."

I nodded in confirmation. "Go on," I instructed her, my voice holding a commanding tone.

"I just thought that maybe... I was thinking about how I treated him back in the academy... if I could find out about them... it might make a decent apology... and I couldn't find any records of anyone named 'Uzumaki'..."

As my pink-haired student trailed off, I relaxed my posture. That was... well in advance of my expectations. Perhaps more relevantly, though, for her to have looked up those records, it would have had to have happened shortly after our conversation the previous day. In other words, this idea of hers had formed shortly after we talked the previous evening.

"I see," I replied, relaxing my posture somewhat as the wariness dropped from my features. "Unfortunately, you've stepped into something of a hornet's nest."

"What do you mean?" she inquired.

I shrugged. "Uzumaki Kushina was a kunoichi from what used to be known as the Whirlpool Country. After she died during the Kyuubi's attack the Third Hokage decided to give Naruto her name as a... misdirection... of sorts." I turned my cup around in my hand, staring into the green liquid it contained. "Naruto knows what I've told him about his father," I replied, "but that's all he knows about his family. You were right that 'Uzumaki' isn't his real family name... but Naruto-kun doesn't know that."

"What?"

Sakura's eyes widened in shock as she looked up at me. "Why?" she asked, her confusion showing in her voice.

I shook my head, still looking into my tea. "His father had enemies," I stated simply. "The Third Hokage decided to conceal that information in order to protect him. I... did not agree with the decision... I believe that Naruto has the right to know, even if others don't... and it's not like concealing his true identity protected him from assassins anyway."

Glancing up, I noted that Sakura was looking at me in undisguised horror.

"Regardless," I continued, "the identities of Naruto's parents are not common knowledge. I want Naruto to know for several reasons... not the least because it would help him understand certain things... but there are those who are politically afraid of what Naruto-kun could do if he found out and decided to step forward as his father's heir, and one of them was in a position to block me from being assigned as Naruto's teacher. That put me in a bit of a predicament, really... the next choice was someone who is perpetually late and would rather read porn than actually teach..."

Sakura had been taking a sip of tea as I reached that last bit, presumably to soothe her nerves, and promptly spat it back up.

"Worse, I doubted that any of the other candidates would treat him fairly. So, we reached a... compromise of sorts. Danzou promised not to prevent me from being assigned a team if I promised, in turn, to not tell Naruto-kun who his parents were. Fortunately, the wording of the promise doesn't prevent me from telling him about his parents and hoping he figures it out on his own, but it does prevent me from telling someone else without making them make the same promise."

Sakura sighed. "I see," she said, before lapsing into silence as she stared at the ground. After a few seconds, though, she looked up. "Sensei," she asked, "why was Danzou afraid of..."

"Naruto-kun's father was one of Danzou's more... notable political opponents," I told her, giving her a somewhat reserved smile that didn't manage to reach my eyes. "As such, Naruto-kun's existence was... inconvenient... for him. Danzou took advantage of the fact that most people weren't aware of Naruto's parentage to argue publicly for Naruto to be killed, although he used a... different set of reasoning in doing so. Were his true motives in those actions to become widely known... or were even that he's been knowingly trying to have Naruto's father's only son killed to become widely known, it could become a... very substantial political setback for him."

"Oh," Sakura answered, looking somewhere between disturbed and depressed.

I shook my head, deciding to take a risk. "That being said," I finished, "if you still want me to tell you, I will... you just won't be able to tell Naruto-kun. I was originally planning on having you help him figure it out, but if you want to help me with dropping hints instead, that's fine as well."

Sakura just stared at me.

"Hey," I defensively stated, "Naruto's in danger if his father's enemies find out who his parents were. You aren't one of them, and the knowledge might even help you understand him. The main reason I'm reluctant to tell you is that I think you'd probably pick up on the clues before he would. There are advantages to both approaches as far as I'm concerned, so I'm passing the decision on to you."

"Oh," she replied, looking down again.

We sat there, drinking our tea in silence for a few more minutes before an orange-clad form arrived in the clearing, a scroll in hand.

"Hey, Sensei," my most hyperactive student greeted, handing me the scroll. "Ojiisan wanted me to give this to you."

I smiled, looking up. "You delivered the message?" I rhetorically asked.

"Yeah," Naruto replied. "The old man got a strange look on his face and wrote this out before telling me that he'd alert the medics. Ne, Sensei? Why did Hokage-ojiisan think we'd need them?"

I snickered. "He probably thought that I'd tried showing you some of my original jutsu before the mission," I told him. "Some of them have a tendency to... blow up in your face if they're not used correctly."

"Oh," he replied, nodding in a manner that he probably thought looked thoughtful and serious, despite the fact that it was actually rather ridiculous. "I see."

I chuckled, opening the scroll and reading it. It was a fairly typical note from Sarutobi, really. It informed me that we would start missions the next day and asked me not to destroy Konoha while teaching my students -- nothing too serious. The bit about trying to avoid serious bodily harm to the genin under my care wasn't really necessary anyway. It wasn't like I'd kill them or anything. Give them lots of heavy ordinance and teach them how to use it to blow up small villages, sure, but I had plans for the kids -- they were rather pointless if my students wouldn't survive the training... and that was discounting the fact that one of my students was Naruto.

"Well," I said, drinking the last of my tea and resealing the cup before removing the genjutsu on Sasuke, "we might as well see if Sasuke has recovered enough to start training."

With that, Naruto suddenly turned his head towards the most arrogant member of our team, his jaw dropping as he noticed that the Amazing Wonder Emo was still slumped against the log he'd been... resting against.

"Hey, Naruto-kun," I asked, my good humor clearly showing, "would you like to see one of the exercises that I use to train?"

Naruto nodded eagerly, probably thinking that what was coming would be good. Sakura, on the other hand, simply looked confused.

"Well," I explained, walking to Sasuke, holding a hand in his direction and gathering my chakra for the exercise, "I'm not terribly good at suiton ninjutsu, so I've been trying to improve. One of the exercises is to use your chakra to seek out nearby sources of water, like that puddle over there, and gather the water, like so..."

With that, water from the puddle in question began to slowly rise and form a sphere in front of my hand. As my hand was pointed towards Sasuke, that meant that the sphere was directly over his head.

"... while trying to hold it stable. The idea is to try to gather as much water as possible and hold it steady, but I'm still working on that."

At that point, I stopped trying to control the water, which led to gravity reasserting itself... with predictable results.

Sasuke started and spluttered a bit, turning towards me in shock. I heard laughter and subdued giggling from my other students as I raised my hand again, drawing the water up into a sphere again and moving it to the side before dropping it.

"Welcome back, Sasuke-kun," I greeted him. "You might want to wash your face."

Seeing Sasuke's panicked expression as he saw his reflection in the newly-created puddle more than made up for my earlier mistake as far as I was concerned.

-----------

After Sasuke spent a few panicked moments trying to remove the writing from his face, I decided to have mercy and gave him a specially-developed wet-wipe that took care of the problem. Restored to what passed for normalcy in the life of the Amazing Wonder Emo, he quickly calmed down... although he seemed to respect me quite a bit more than he had before.

It took a few more moments to prepare my team for the lesson on ninjutsu that I had planned before I removed a small scroll from my vest.

"Right," I said, grinning, "who wants lunch?"

Seeing that Naruto was looking at me strangely, I decided to elaborate. "Remember the tea?" I asked. "I brought some food in another scroll."

Naruto nodded in understanding while Sakura decided to speak up. "Sensei?"

"Yes?"

"Why are you being so..." Sakura paused for a moment, searching for the words, "relaxed?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I'm not like this normally," I confessed, "but over-exposure to killing intent can cause some pretty nasty psychological trauma. I figure that it's best to let you recover a bit before I start pushing you again, and I'm being more friendly and relaxed to keep you from becoming actively afraid of me. Ideally, I should be a mentor-figure to the three of you, even if my job requires me to be a harsh one at times, so you fearing me is counter-productive." I chuckled. "Fear of getting me angry is another matter, of course," I confessed, "but that's something else entirely."

My students reacted to the explanation in radically different manners. Sakura nodded in understanding, while Sasuke gave a monosyllabic response that I interpreted to be of contempt. Naruto, on the other hand, just looked confused.

"Let me put it this way," I explained, looking at him. "I scared you pretty badly, but I don't want you to be afraid of me because that would make it harder for me to teach you, among other things. It's okay if you're afraid of making me angry because I can use that to help you learn, but there's a big difference between that and being afraid of me."

Naruto nodded. "Like Iruka-sensei?" he asked.

I grinned. "Exactly," I told him. "Iruka-kun and I are different in a lot of ways, but I did teach him a bit about teaching."

Naruto's eyes widened at that. "But you're..."

"Very different people with very different teaching methods?" I asked, interrupting him. "That's true, but I only taught him a little, and he was even younger than you are now. We've both changed since then."

Seeing Naruto nod, I smiled. "So, about lunch?" I asked, glad that my favorite student understood. "We can chat... get to know each-other a bit. It'll be good for teamwork, if nothing else."

At Sasuke's snort of disdain, I looked at him sharply. "Genin are assigned to three-man teams for a reason, Sasuke-kun," I chided. "There are quite a few of them, actually."

"Feh," he replied. "Just don't let them slow me down."

Careful not to release too much killing intent, I glared at duck-boy. "Actually," I corrected, "I'm more worried about you slowing them down."

"Explain," Sasuke demanded, returning my glare for a moment before breaking off and shivering.

I felt like smirking but forced down the reaction. If I could intimidate him even without my killing intent I didn't have to worry about how I'd manage to shut him up if he went into an emo-rant after I taught him how to resist it.

"Let's start with your evaluation of their potential as ninja, shall we?" I began, sliding the scroll that I'd sealed our lunch back into my jacket. "Even disregarding the fact that Naruto's training was actively sabotaged, standing in the Academy doesn't really mean that much in the field. Have you ever heard of a ninja named Jiraiya, by any chance?"

Sakura spoke up, causing me to glance back to her. "You mean the Toad Sennin, one of the Legendary Three?"

"Precisely. He was also the Fourth Hokage's jounin teacher. More to the point, though, he was also the dead last in his academy class. Now he's one of the strongest ninja Konoha has ever produced."

He was also an author of horrendously derivative and cliché smut. I had no problem with porn, really, but I had standards. On the other hand, trying to bribe him with old issues of Playboy was a rather entertaining hobby.

I was saving the illustrated copy of the Kama Sutra for something special, like getting him to teach Naruto... well, it would also make a nice visual aid in case I ever had to give Naruto the Talk. Speaking of which...

"Back to Naruto-kun, he shows some basic understanding of psychological tactics, although I have to wonder about just how much information he was working from when he created the Oroike no Jutsu."

"Ne, sensei, what do you mean?" the aforementioned blond asked.

"Naruto-kun," I replied, "do you know what the phrase 'sexual intercourse' means?"

Sakura suddenly spat out a large amount of tea while Naruto just scratched his head sheepishly.

"Well, that's about what I expected," I commented. "You haven't had anyone to talk to about that sort of thing, so I didn't know if anyone had taught you about it."

Naruto chuckled weakly, still scratching the back of his head.

"I'll explain later," I finished, "but I need to get back to my explanation to Sasuke-kun, okay?"

At Naruto's nod of affirmation I turned my attention back to Sasuke. "Anyway his tendencies as a prankster and a class clown were also shared by at least two of the more famous shinobi of our time. Actually, you've probably heard of one of them -- his name was Namikaze Minato, although he is better known as the Fourth Hokage."

Both Sakura and Naruto started at that news.

"Incidentally," I added, "he was never at the top of his class academically, either, although his scores were higher than Naruto-kun's. Then again Naruto-kun was operating with several handicaps that Minato-senpai never faced."

Sakura started at that. "Minato... senpai?" she asked, obviously wondering about my form of address. Well, it was fairly unusual.

I smiled wistfully at her. "One of the running jokes between us involved the nature of our relationship," I told her. "We were friends and we'd joke around about honorifics... mainly because neither of us was entirely comfortable being addressed with them." I became somewhat teary-eyed as I remembered those days, Minato's cheerful smile as he insisted that I get out more, his good-natured cursing about how he couldn't get people to stop using honorific language around him... "He was probably the only Kage in history who routinely told people not to call him 'Hokage-sama'... although very few people actually listened. It became something of a running joke in the city, really... and besides, he was my senior in the ninja business."

"Oh," my pink-haired student commented, somewhat surprised at my show of emotion.

"Anyway," I continued, trying to bring the subject back on track, "that story ties into what I was talking about earlier. In my case I know how much it hurts to lose people who are important to me, and I would rather die than feel that pain again. In the end, that's the largest flaw in Kirigakure's theory about what the strongest motivation is for a ninja... and that's why Konoha is the strongest of the shinobi nations."

I grinned. "It's also a large part of why genin are assigned to teams," I added, turning back to Sasuke, "and a source of power that Itachi will never be able to truly understand."

Sasuke's eyes widened marginally at that.

"In the end, that's one of the weaknesses I mentioned earlier, Sasuke-kun," I told my dark-haired student. "Don't you remember what he told you about his eyes?"

This time Sasuke's eyes were truly wide as his 'stoic' mask slipped, his shock showing clearly in his expression.

"To gain the power he held in his eyes, the power of the mangekyou sharingan, you must kill your closest friend," I stated. "That's why he killed Shisui-kun." I smirked. "However, in doing so, he cut a bond that could have become a source of great strength for him. He stunted his growth, lowered his potential... all in exchange for a power that, in the end, is also his most obvious weakness."

Well, that statement caught the Emo-duck's attention.

"I could get into an analysis of Itachi's abilities and how to defeat him, but I'm getting off-topic," I told my dark-eyed, vengeance-obsessed student. "To many people their genin teammates are their closest friends. Some ninja are closer to their genin teammates than they are to their families... and, for some, their genin cell becomes a surrogate family of sorts. After all, if the strongest motivation for a ninja is to protect those who are important to them, and they regularly fight alongside those people, the need to become stronger becomes greater... the determination to not fail those precious to you becomes a burning need, continuously pushing you to greater and greater heights."

I trailed off, seeing that Sasuke got the point.

"That's also part of why I told you that you were a fool for listening to Itachi's advice," I added, "but, again, that's somewhat off-topic. When I said that I was more concerned about you holding your teammates back than vice-versa, I was referring in part to that factor. Now, the other part was your evaluation of their potential in relation to your own. I think that I've already established that class standings don't mean that much in the real world, so should I give you a frank evaluation of your teammates' potential?"

Sasuke nodded silently, lost in thought.

"Sakura-kun has exceptionally fine chakra control for her level and is highly intelligent. She has the lowest reserves of the team, but uses her chakra in an unusually efficient manner. In short, she has very good chakra control, but little stamina. This combination, however, is not rare amongst freshly-graduated genin, and, were I to compare her to others of that type, she has deeper reserves and better control than most. Her control, however, isn't her greatest asset, although that will help her make full use of it. That honor is reserved for her intelligence. She may not have a great strategic mind like, say, Nara Shikamaru, but she soaks knowledge up like a sponge, and retains a ridiculous amount of it. Her potential with most ninjutsu is only average, but in the areas of genjutsu and medical ninjutsu it's... considerable. I wouldn't be surprised if, with the right training, she could surpass Tsunade-san in the latter art."

Sakura started, looking at me with wide eyes.

"If you combine those talents with my techniques... you have the makings of an absolutely frightening kunoichi. On the other hand, several things have been holding her back from that potential... and most of them are or were psychological in nature... which is why I've been trying so hard to get her over those blocks."

I nodded to Sakura, giving her a small smile before I moved on to Naruto.

"Naruto-kun, on the other hand, is nearly on the opposite end of the spectrum. He uses his chakra in an almost ridiculously inefficient manner and, quite frankly, his control sucks, albeit through no fault of his own. By contrast, however, he can afford to do this because his chakra reserves are, bluntly, just short of insane, as is his physical stamina. In fact, I think it would be best if I told you a little story to give you some idea of just how much chakra Naruto-kun has."

As I said the last bit I again took out my lunch scroll and opened it on the blanket I had spread earlier.

"This will take a while, so we might as well eat," I said, unsealing the food I had prepared. "I sincerely hope I don't have to tell you what is for whom."

Considering that the lunch I had brought consisted of several bowls of Ichiraku's ramen and three bento, one of which prominently featured umeboshi and another of which had the rice arranged into a fan-shape, my students not realizing which one was theirs was a distinct non-issue.

Taking my own bento, I sat down and removed my chopsticks as my team followed my lead. "Have you ever heard of kage bunshin no jutsu?" I asked Sasuke, figuring that it would be a good place to start.

"Hn," he grunted, nodding in confirmation.

"Right," I confirmed. "You might want to talk a bit more when answering. What do you know about it?"

Sasuke shrugged. "It's a jounin-level version of bunshin that creates solid clones."

"That's it?" I asked.

Sasuke hesitantly nodded.

"Sakura-kun?" I inquired, wondering if she'd know more.

"Isn't it considered a kinjutsu?" she asked.

I smiled. "Yes," I acknowledged. "It is -- mainly because it's easy to die from chakra exhaustion by overusing it." My smile turned to a vicious smirk. "It's also Naruto-kun's specialty."

Sakura nearly spat out her rice, while Sasuke momentarily lost his superior posture as he turned to look at Naruto in shock. I just sipped some tea and took a bite of my onigiri. At least Naruto-kun couldn't do much while devouring that...

Oh. Right.

"Anyway, seeing as Naruto-kun just managed to finish four bowls of ramen in less time than it took me to eat an onigiri," I commented, "I think that a demonstration is in order. Naruto-kun?"

"Yeah," he replied, putting his hands into a cross-seal. "Kage bunshin no jutsu!"

"Anyway," I explained, "those are solid clones. They're capable of fighting, but they'll dissipate after a single solid hit."

Sakura and Sasuke nodded, one in understanding and the other in what looked like envy.

"Now, to give you an idea of how much chakra Naruto-kun has, I think the best place to start would be to tell you just how he learned that jutsu... although I'll have to add that there's a major part of the story that I'll have to leave out -- namely the secret that a certain traitor decided to taunt him with a twisted version of. Naruto-kun, do you mind?"

Naruto looked at me, his reluctance showing in his eyes. "Sensei," he asked, "are you sure..."

"As long as I don't tell them that secret, I don't think there's much of a problem and it would also provide a useful lesson in life as a shinobi." I shrugged. "Besides, it's best not to keep more secrets from your team than is necessary. I told you before, didn't I? To many ninja, their genin team is the closest thing they have to a family... and even those who have their own families are often closer to their old genin cell."

Naruto's eyes widened.

"I think it has to do with shared experiences," I explained, figuring that Naruto could use the knowledge and that it would only help Sasuke. "People change a lot once they're exposed to the real world, once they start learning what being a ninja is truly about. Because there are so many life-changing experiences in so little time, I think that people naturally grow closer to the only people who were there with them at the time, the only people who were with them throughout the process -- in other words, their teammates. There are secrets shared, life-changing experiences that are lived through but never spoken of... in short, it's much the same process which accounts for the closeness between siblings, only more intense and without the blood-relationship. In a way, I suppose, it's rather like what happens with adopted children..."

I trailed off, noticing some tears forming in Naruto's eyes.

"Tell them," he stated, a determined glint shining through his tears.

I gave Naruto a reassuring smile before turning back to Sasuke. "I suppose I should begin with why Naruto-kun failed the graduation exam. Essentially, Naruto-kun has so much chakra that the basic, Academy-level bunshin jutsu is nearly impossible for him at his current level of control. It's not a common problem, but there are supposed to be measures in place at the Academy to detect it." I chuckled for a moment. "Of course, if the teachers are trying to sabotage a student's progress..."

I trailed off, pausing for a moment to let Sasuke reach the needed conclusion.

"Regardless, detecting that particular problem would have been Mizuki's responsibility."

I detected a bit of motion in my peripheral vision as Naruto started at that.

"As Mizuki wanted Naruto-kun to fail, well... I think you can figure out what happened. Naruto-kun never received the instruction on control that would typically be given to someone like him. It's worth noting that a number of added control exercises are typically given to people with considerably lower reserves than Naruto-kun's."

I paused for a moment. "Actually, Sasuke-kun, there's a note in your file regarding them. Your reserves are high enough to justify being given them, but they're typically given to people whose chakra capacity outgrows their control. As this wasn't an issue in your case, it was felt that additional intensive instruction on control would be counter-productive."

"But, Sensei," Sakura interjected, "how...?"

I grinned, turning to her. "Basically," I answered, "there are only so many hours in a day."

"So," Sasuke elaborated, seeing what I meant, "they felt that it would be better if I just went on as I was, and that the extra training would just distract me."

I grinned, taking his answer as a sign that my brooding student was, hopefully, getting over his emo tendencies and becoming a somewhat more social rabid attack dog as I turned towards him. "Pretty much," I confirmed. "But we're getting off track. When the genin test came around, Naruto-kun attempted the bunshin no jutsu and only partially succeeded, failing the test. He didn't know any of what I've told you about why he failed -- and I have further suspicions on the matter that I'm going to have to investigate later -- and he had put forth his best effort. The end result... disappointed him, to put it mildly. It's worth noting that Mizuki made a show of protesting Naruto-kun's failure on the grounds that he had managed to partially perform the jutsu as part of an attempt to appear sympathetic to Naruto-kun."

Seeing that Naruto seemed torn between shock and depression I decided to address him for a moment. "For what it's worth, Naruto-kun, I'm pretty sure that Iruka-kun never sabotaged your training and really did try to help you. The problem comes in when you consider that he was only one teacher out of several, and you were only one student out of many. Additionally, Iruka-kun used to have a bit of a tendency to be... overly trusting, shall we say? I don't know if he's changed since then, but I suspect that he believed that his fellow teachers were doing their jobs properly and missed some of the evidence to the contrary."

"Oh," Naruto replied, looking downwards.

"Don't worry," I reassured him. "You managed to graduate anyway, and correcting for a known quantity is a whole lot easier than correcting for something that's not known. I told you that I believe that you have what it takes to become the Hokage, didn't I?" I gave my favorite student a comforting smile, hoping that it would help cheer him up.

Seeing that Naruto did perk up a bit at that reminder, I looked towards my other students. Sakura seemed to be in some kind of horrified shock while Sasuke... damn. I couldn't figure what the heck was going through his head. Thinking back to Minato's lessons on the subject and reflexively suppressing the emotional pain that came with the memory, I focused on his features. Contempt? Confusion? Anger? Whatever it was, he was carefully schooling his expression, hiding his emotions to the point that I couldn't make them out, although I still caught a flicker every now and then. Normally, I'd wonder how a genin fresh out of the academy learned that skill, but... well, Sasuke was an Uchiha.

Oh, well. The best thing to do was just to press on.

"Anyway, after the tests were over, Mizuki approached Naruto and told him that there was another way to pass." I paused for a moment. "Before you think that Naruto-kun was overly gullible, Mizuki had maneuvered himself into the position of a sympathetic figure who Naruto-kun had no reason to mistrust. Additionally, there are other ways to graduate the academy... the method Mizuki suggested just wasn't one of them."

"Oh?" Sasuke asked. "How?"

I shrugged and started counting the methods off on my fingers. "The instructors, at their discretion, can recommend a student for special consideration. If they do so, the case is passed on to the Hokage for a decision. He usually delegates the review and choice to one or more jounin, but the decision is technically his... and the instructors have a certain amount of leeway in regards to what constitutes a 'pass' anyway. Additionally, a jounin can make the same recommendation or ask to take responsibility for a student; in that case, the new genin is usually apprenticed to the jounin in question. Lastly, the Hokage can directly override pretty much anything; if he thinks that a student should graduate or be instated as a genin, well, they will."

Sasuke curtly nodded, while Sakura seemed deep in thought. "Sensei?" she inquired. "Why didn't you..."

I sighed. "Make a similar request in Naruto-kun's case, you mean?" I frowned. "It's... complicated. Basically, I couldn't. Well, no, that's not true... I did... I was just overruled. Several times, actually... and told not to bother trying again."

"But... why?"

"I can't tell you that. There's-" I tiredly began, before being interrupted by Naruto.

"Please," he said, seeming somewhat morose. "Just drop it, Sakura-chan."

"But..."

"Just listen to the story," he responded to Sakura's interrupted protest. "Maybe... maybe later..."

I turned another regretful smile to Sakura. "Naruto-kun and I have already talked about several things," I told her. "If I'm not mistaken, he has a pretty good idea of what happened. I just can't tell you because it involves a certain state secret."

"The one..."

"Precisely."

"Oh."

"Anyway," I continued, "Mizuki's fake exam was pretty simple: he described a scroll in the Hokage's office and told Naruto-kun that if he took the scroll and learned one of the jutsu from it that Iruka-kun would have to pass him."

Sasuke snorted at that.

"I see that Sasuke-kun has figured it out," I said. "Mizuki was just using Naruto to steal the scroll... but I'm getting ahead of myself."

Sakura started somewhat, to my disappointment, while Naruto was uncharacteristically silent.

"Naruto-kun proceeded to enter the Hokage's office, knock out the Third Hokage with his oroike no jutsu..."

Sasuke snorted at that while Sakura seemed perturbed.

"Like I said, it's a valid psychological attack -- it just has... shall we say... problems." I smiled at my pink-haired student. "Don't worry; I'll talk to Naruto-kun about it later.

"Anyway, he took the scroll and headed into the woods to train." I chuckled. "Of course, he wasn't 'supposed' to be able to actually learn any of the jutsu according to Mizuki's plan -- he had Naruto steal the so-called 'scroll of forbidden seals', a scroll that contains some of the most dangerous jutsu ever developed."

Well, that caught Sasuke and Sakura's attention.

"Of course 'dangerous' and 'powerful' aren't the same thing. Sure, some of the jutsu on there are powerful, but they're forbidden for a reason. I should know -- I developed several of them."

Now Sasuke seemed really interested in the story.

"For example, the third to last jutsu is something called 'Hiroshima no jutsu', named after an ancient city that was destroyed... oh, around ten thousand years ago. Actually, Hiroshima no jutsu would produce results somewhat different than what happened in that city, but the general effect is the same -- a giant fireball that would literally burn as hot as the sun. If someone were to use it in Konoha not only would Konoha be destroyed, but the surrounding forests would be as well, not to mention many of the nearby villages. People as far away as Kirigakure would be able to feel the heat."

"You developed this?" Sasuke asked, leaning forward.

I shrugged. "Yeah," I admitted. "Unfortunately, it's a suicide technique that takes two kage-level shinobi to properly execute. That's why it's forbidden, by the way, not the power of the jutsu."

Of course, I had largely developed it as a theoretical exercise; designing a jutsu that allowed a ninja to initiate a fusion reaction had been rather challenging. In the end, however, it had required greater control than would be possible for any single ninja in the form of four separate, simultaneous forms of nature manipulation and required enough power that there was no way for a single ninja to generate it, even if they were a jinchuuriki or were they to open the hachimon to provide energy. In the end I had managed to develop it into a workable technique, but it still required two ninja with kage-level ability to open all eight of the hachimon to provide the jutsu's power.

I grinned. "Most of the jutsu on the scroll are forbidden for similar reasons. Mizuki, of course, made the rather unfortunately common mistake of equating 'dangerous' and 'powerful', and felt that the scroll would give him the power to achieve his ambitions."

Oddly enough even the idiot's ambitions were amazingly pathetic. Really, betraying your village so that you could "be somebody"? It had been... fun torturing the moron.

"So it's a scroll of suicide techniques?" Sasuke asked, having resumed his normal sitting posture.

"Nah," I answered. "It's a scroll of dangerous techniques. Only about half of them are suicide techniques. Omote Renge, for instance, just leaves the user injured, exhausted, and unable to move effectively for a while as a trade-off for a temporary boost in strength and speed. It's a good finishing or desperation move, but... well, being injured, exhausted, and unable to move effectively can be a bit of a... problem... in combat."

Seeing Sasuke nod in understanding I momentarily turned my attention to my other students. Both seemed to be following my conversation but they also seemed to be rather horrified.

"In any event, when Naruto opened the scroll to learn a jutsu, he started with the first jutsu on the scroll, something called 'tajuu kage bunshin no jutsu', which is a derivitave of the more standard kage bunshin no jutsu.

"Kage bunshin, in turn, is a... refinement, I guess you could say, of the standard bunshin technique. It was developed a while back when someone decided that instead of using chakra to form an illusory copy of themselves, they could use more chakra to create a solid clone. Of course the clones would collapse after a few seconds, which wasn't long enough to be of much use. As such they sought a solution, which was to create a perfect clone, complete with its own chakra circulatory system."

Sakura gasped at that, catching the implications. Judging by Sasuke's lack of reaction, however, he still hadn't.

"In short, to create a kage bunshin, you need to divide your chakra evenly between yourself and the clone, effectively halving your chakra supply... and that's after you provide the chakra to form the clone's physical structure. If you don't have enough chakra left to survive after doing that... well, that's why it's considered a jounin-level ninjutsu."

Sasuke frowned, probably trying to figure out how to use the jutsu himself. "Why divide it evenly?"

I shrugged. "Like with bunshin no jutsu, you're forming part of your chakra into a shape it wants to enter -- which happens to be your shape, complete with a perfect duplicate of your chakra system... and the bunshin forms from the inside out. Use less than half of your chakra and the kage bunshin collapses in on itself; use more and the extra chakra is wasted."

Sasuke nodded in understanding.

"Of course, if you're making more than one bunshin, you divide your chakra in more directions. If you're making two, each gets a third of your chakra. If you make three, each gets a quarter, and so on."

It was actually quite fortunate that Naruto's kage bunshin didn't include a duplicate of the seal and its... contents. That would be... problematic. Fortunately, neither was technically part of Naruto, and his chakra recognised this... which I always thought of as odd, given that kage bunshin would create duplicates of clothes and weapons. On the other hand it was consistant with how it behaved with other fuuinjutsu, so I supposed that it worked out.

"So why don't you just form less chakra into a bunshin?" Sasuke asked.

"Because the human body is hideously complex," I replied. "I tried modifying the technique to let you do that; it's also on the scroll, but it ended up being unworkable in most situations. It took the Fourth Hokage almost fifteen minutes to form a single bunshin using that method, and that was after he spent several days trying to bring the time down. Additionally, kage bunshin are capable of a certain amount of independant thought and have several other advantages."

I grinned, seeing that all three of my students were following the discussion. For Naruto most of this was just a rehash of what he'd learned from the scroll but several details were new, and I would bring the lecture to a close soon enough; I didn't want to risk running over his attention span.

"To get back to the point, the amount of chakra required to form the kage bunshin's physical structure is roughly equal to the amount required to perform gokakyuu no jutsu at the level you're capable of," I told my emo pupil. "That should give you a basis for comparison."

"Required?"

"I've observed your technique," I commented. "You waste about an eighth of the chakra you use. Learn better control and you won't need to use quite as much. In other words, the minimum amount of chakra required to form a single kage bunshin is about eighty five to ninety percent of the amount of chakra you use when going all out with that technique."

Sasuke's eyes turned towards Naruto in shock.

"Of course, Naruto-kun's control is worse than yours; he wastes around three quarters of the chakra he uses. So, for creating a single kage bunshin, figure that he uses about three and a half times as much chakra as you do when using gokakyuu to your full capacity, wastes about three quarters of his remaining chakra, and then divides his remaining chakra evenly between himself and his clone."

Sasuke's look quickly changed to what I interpreted as contempt, something which I couldn't let stand.

"The point is that Naruto-kun has enough chakra that he can afford to do this."

Sasuke's head quickly turned to glance at Naruto. Taking my attention off of him for a moment I noticed that Sakura was also staring at Naruto, who seemed... almost withdrawn. Sheepish? No... embarrassed? Possibly...

I'd worry about it later.

"Fortunately, you regain a portion of the chakra invested in a kage bunshin's chakra system when you dismiss it. The energy invested in its physical structure is still lost as is any excess chakra wasted in the bunshin's creation, but you regain most of the chakra it 'carried' in its chakra system. If the kage bunshin is 'killed', you regain substantially less, but you still recover a good bit of the clone's chakra. That actually has some pretty important implications, since that chakra carries with it the clone's thoughts and experiences. When that happens you suddenly 'know' everything that your clone saw and did. Because of this kage bunshin no jutsu is primarily used as a scouting and information-gathering technique, although it has other advantages as well."

"Like what, Sensei?" Sakura asked.

"Well, once the bunshin's fully formed it has its own mind and its chakra adapts to its situation. It no longer has to perfectly mirror the real 'you'. As such a kage bunshin is capable of using jutsu. Additionally, most bunshin techniques that form solid clones are limited in range -- kage bunshin are not; they can travel as far from you as needed, although their distance from you when they disperse does effect the amount of chakra you recover."

Sakura nodded.

"Anything else?"

"Recca-sensei?" Naruto asked, surprising me. "You said that the clone's chakra carried its thoughts and experiences?"

I nodded.

"Well, does that mean that my chakra..."

"Carries your thoughts and experiences as well? Yes. Chakra is a combination of mental and physical energy. As such, your chakra is a reflection of your mind and body... well, unless something else changes that, anyway," I said, thinking of the purification elements of the seal on his navel and of nature manipulation. "Fortunately, though, that really isn't useful to most people. It's possible, in theory, to view your memories and peruse your experiences by examining your chakra, for instance, but the human mind is an almost ridiculously complex thing and every mind and soul is different. Trying to read someone else's thoughts or memories from their chakra is a bit like listening to someone speak in a language that you don't understand; the best you can really manage is to feel their emotions."

"So earlier..."

"My killing intent?" I inquired, waiting for Naruto's nod of confirmation.

"Yes, that's basically what it was -- some of my emotions, carried through my chakra, although that technique does involve filtering my chakra to 'remove' certain things and focusing it so that you could feel them."

Of course, I had to do very little filtering by then, and the focusing part was so 'natural' to me that I actually had to concentrate to not do it.

"Ah. I understand," Naruto replied.

"Actually, most experienced shinobi have trouble surpressing their killing intent, especially when they're feeling strong negative emotions. It's one thing to look for when detecting ambushes and the like."

It was more of a problem for me than most, but... I had a stronger killing intent than most to begin with, and negative emotions... well, ever since Minato...

I forced myself out of my reminiscence once again.

"To get back to the story, the first jutsu on the scroll that Naruto-kun took is not kage bunshin no jutsu. It's a variant of it that was created when someone came up with the idea of using shadow clones in melee combat. Basically, to use kage bunshin to create a number of spare bodies that they could use to gang up on an opponent."

I smirked. "Like many things that seemed like a good idea at the time, it didn't work out all that well. Most people who try that strategy die from chakra depletion, and there are a lot of more efficient ways to use your chakra. Nonetheless, the attempts produced a number of useful notes for the use of kage bunshin in combat, which is why the technique is on the scroll. Still, that's the technique that Naruto-kun learned. After taking the scroll he trained for several hours on one of the most chakra-consuming techniques in existance, and was visibly exhausted when Iruka-kun found him. I'm afraid that I can't give you too many details thanks to certain laws, but in the resulting confrontation Mizuki taunted him with a... twisted version... of a state secret, Iruka-kun said some things that have probably endeared him to Naruto-kun for the rest of his life, and when Mizuki attempted to kill Iruka-kun to get the scroll, Naruto-kun proceeded to create over a hundred kage bunshin..."

Sakura let out a gasp at that, while Sasuke managed to lose his composure.

"...and use them to beat Mizuki into a pulp," I finished. "I might add that, according to the report, each and every one of those clones was actively using chakra to enhance its movements."

I smirked at my gaping students. "Naruto-kun wasn't even winded from the effort." And, with that comment, I resumed eating my bento.

Seeing the expressions on my students' faces was worth it.

"Is that even possible?" Sakura asked, stunned.

I grinned, swallowing some rice. "Sure, if you have enough chakra," I confessed. "Naruto-kun has plenty."

Of course, he also recovered his chakra at a stunning rate thanks to the seal and when he was feeling a strong emotion some of the chakra normally bound into reinforcing the seal would be released to his use. Since kage bunshin didn't duplicate that portion of his system, that chakra wouldn't have been touched during his training and thanks to his recovery rate the conversation with Iruka and the confrontation with Mizuki was enough time to recover most of his supply anyway.

"But..."

"Naruto-kun also recovers his chakra more quickly than usual, and his supply of it fluctuates with his emotions. His emotions were running particularly high at the time and his chakra supply followed suit. The changes in his capacity will make it harder than usual for him to learn proper control, but it's not like anyone's even tried to help him do that before."

Naruto shook his head at me. "Iruka-sensei..."

"The leaf exercise? The one where they tell you to stick a leaf to your head with chakra?" I asked. "I know he taught you that one, but that's more of an exercise in concentration than an exercise in control. As I said, Mizuki is the one who should have taught you those."

"But..." he protested.

"Naruto-kun," I said, "Iruka-kun had almost thirty students to teach in your class alone. He tried to do what he could to teach you, but he couldn't make up for the other teachers'... deficiencies... on his own, and he couldn't correct for problems that he didn't know about."

I smiled kindly at him. "The Academy records are surprisingly thorough on the subject of what exercises have been covered with which students... probably so that jounin teachers can get an idea of where their students are." I paused for a second. "Well, they're supposed to be, anyway. Tanaka Juushiro's evaluations of you consisted mostly of caricatures of your mutilated corpse."

Torturing that bastard had been fun. Ibiki was still periodically stopping by my apartment to beg me to tell him how I'd broken Tanaka, but how the Hell was I supposed to tell him that I had forced him to watch a twelve-hour Barney marathon? It wasn't like Barney had seen any airtime in at least nine thousand years on this world.

Well, unless Ami or one of my predecessors had been a closet fan, but the lack of an existing summoning contract for the purple menace suggested otherwise. Maybe locking Tanaka in a room with the Teletubbies for a week had been rather cruel, but it wasn't like I'd starved him or anything -- I had been sure to give him a freshly prepared haggis every day via a special delivery system.

And it wasn't like I'd done any permanent harm to him -- the doctors at the Konoha Mental Hospital estimated that he'd stop hugging himself in the corner of his cell and singing that song in a frightened tone of voice any decade now!

The fact that Tanaka Juushiro had actually understood English had only helped.

I broke myself out of my reminiscence to see a horrified expression on Sakura's face, while even Sasuke seemed to have a crack in his normal emo façade, giving us a glimpse of the emo underneath. Naruto, on the other hand, was again seeming almost withdrawn, wearing the same unreadable expression on his face as earlier.

"That's..." Sakura began, "That's why..."

"Why he was removed as an Academy instructor?" I asked. "That's part of it, anyway."

I ate the last kappa maki from my bento and took out my storage scroll again, accidentally hitting my hand against something else that I had put into my pocket.

"Oh, yes," I commented. "That reminds me." I removed the container of pills from where I'd put them and tossed them to Sasuke. "These are a kind of medicine that I figured might help you improve a bit."

Catching it, Sasuke gave me a curious look.

"It's called 'Prozac'," I clarified. "It might help you overcome one of the more substantial obstacles to your growth."

That was true enough; his emo tendencies tended to make him rather hard to put up with.

"Sensei?" Sakura asked. "You're a medic-nin?"

I shook my head. "No. Besides, that's a medicine that hasn't been manufactured since the Second Age of Magic, anyway. Most medic-nin haven't even heard of it."

"But... then how..."

I smiled. "When you live as long as I have, you pick up all sorts of interesting pieces of knowledge. I just happen to be Konoha's foremost expert on ancient history, among other things, and happen to know people who are qualified to prescribe that... as well as the manufacturing process. I'm more than just a cranky old man with a shotgun, after all!"

Of course, I'd summoned the medicine; starting a pharmacology company would be too much of a pain.

Naruto just stared at me. "But, sensei, you don't look that old!"

I turned towards him, my bento and storage scroll lying nearly forgotten at my side. "I'm older than I look," I confessed.

"Oh?" Sasuke asked, apparently out of curiosity.

"Yeah. Most ninja die before they reach my age," I answered somberly. "Of all of your classmates' jounin instructors, I'm the oldest."

"Umm... sensei?" Sakura asked. "You don't have to answer or anything, but..."

I grinned. "I was born in the year 1982 Anno Domini, if that means anything to you."

Sakura just shook her head.

"And, to tell the truth, I had never heard of the P.C.T. calendar before I came to Konoha. So..."

"You don't know the answer, do you?" Naruto asked.

"Not exactly," I confessed. "But that's a pretty personal question and we've really gotten off-topic anyway."

"Sensei?" Sakura inquired. "When you say 'before' you 'came to Konoha'..."

"I mean before I came to Konoha. I'm fairly unusual among Konoha's ninja for a lot of reasons, but one of them is how and why I became a ninja. Maybe I'll tell you the story sometime, but there's a state secret that you don't know that's fairly important to the explanation."

"Oh," Sakura replied.

"Anyway, to get back to the point," I said, addressing Sasuke, "that story should give you some idea of just how much chakra Naruto-kun has. Now, can you imagine just how strong Naruto-kun could become if he were to learn to fully harness and control that power?"

Sasuke's eyes widened as he contemplated that point.

"But that's not the end of it," I continued. "He's got me as a teacher. When I said that I thought that he could become Hokage, I wasn't joking. By the time I'm through with him, he'll be able to take on armies and win. By the time I'm done teaching him, his enemies will be more afraid of him than they are of my old genin team... and that's saying something."

My students' expressions again varied. Sasuke was... confused? Sakura was staring at Naruto, and Naruto was... damn.

"Naruto-kun," I said gently, "your enemies being afraid of you isn't a bad thing. I know that you don't want to be seen as a monster, and you're not one, but in the end a Hokage protects the village with everything he has, including his reputation. I'm not saying that you'll be seen as a bloodthirsty monster or anything, even by your enemies -- just that you'll be a powerful ninja that they won't want to meet on the battlefield."

That cheered Naruto up nicely.

"Regardless, Sasuke-kun," I finished, "Naruto-kun and Sakura-kun both have considerable potential as ninja and are at least open to becoming a true team. You also have considerable potential, but are, apparently, not. As of when they were assigned to my team, both of them had psychological weaknesses that could be problems in the future. I've done what I can to address those and both of them have made progress in regards to those issues. You also have a substantial psychological weakness, but... well, I haven't seen nearly as much progress from you as I have from them."

"Explain," Sasuke snapped.

"Sakura-kun has, until now, had a rather sugar-coated vision of what it means to be a ninja. I have done my best to show her the truth and to get her to take things seriously. I call it a psychological weakness because it could have left her vulnerable, either to ambushes or to some of the more... underhanded... tactics shinobi often use.

"Naruto-kun is a bit of a more complicated case. He's grown up alone, to put it bluntly. Very few people have accepted him as who he is over the years and even fewer have actually shown him any form of affection. The fact that he's grown up with almost no emotional support has helped him grow stronger in some ways, but it's also left him... starved for affection, I believe is the best way to put it. I call this a weakness simply because enemies would -- and will -- try to exploit this in order to gain his trust, leaving him open to betrayal.

"The solution was and is quite simple, really. His problem stems from the fact that he's starved for acceptance, attention and affection. Accordingly, I gave him what he needed. The fact that I genuinely care for him made that almost pathetically easy to do, although I'm limited by the fact that showing him favoritism would hardly benefit him in the long run, the fact that I, alone, am hardly enough to from a decent support network, and the fact that I am hardly a substitute for friends within his own peer group. That's also part of the reason why I've put greater emphasis than normal on the portions of teamwork that are not directly related to field performance and part of why I've spent as much effort as I have trying to encourage you to become friends as well as teammates."

Glancing towards Naruto I saw that he was... subdued. Betrayed? No, thankfully, that wasn't it, but... damnit, it didn't matter.

"Naruto-kun," I said, trying to project a comforting tone into my voice. "All I really said was that I was worried that someone might take advantage of your loneliness to hurt you or the people you care about, that I tried to address that by showing you that I cared... and that it was easy to do since I do care. Most of the rest was about how I felt that you needed friends your own age."

Naruto silently nodded, apparently lost in thought.

"Sensei?" Sakura asked. "What did you mean about your old genin team?"

I just grinned. "Let me put it this way. My old teammates and my jounin instructor have been patrolling the border with Earth Country for the past three years. Because of their presence, Stone has ordered its ninja to avoid approaching within three kilometers of the border."

Sakura frowned. "So? What does..."

"They've been the only ninja patrolling the entire border," I clarified.

"Oh," Sakura replied, leaning back in surprise while Sasuke nearly did a spit-take and started looking at me far more seriously.

Of course, the reaction was perfectly understandable. Between Jin-sensei's paranoia and Kei and Yuri's... well, tendency to leave a trail of devastation and desolation behind them that actually managed to eclipse my own, the Tsuchikage had decided to keep his ninja the hell away from "those three lunatics". The fact that the occasional missing-nin still tried to cross and usually wound up blasted into smithereens (along with a few dozen hectares of farmland and the occasional mountain) didn't exactly hurt.

"Sensei?" Naruto inquired, still hesitant.

"Yes, Naruto-kun?"

"If... if I hadn't... would you still have..."

I sighed. "You're trying to ask if I would have approached you like I did if you hadn't been so lonely throughout most of your life?"

Naruto just nodded.

"There probably would have been some differences," I admitted. "I went out of my way to let you know my stance on several issues and to be as friendly as possible. I've also spent some time trying to teach you things about interpersonal relationships that you would probably already know were that the case and trying to help you out in ways that you would normally rely on friends your own age for." I shrugged. "The simple truth is that had you grown up differently you would be different in some ways because of it."

"But... what you said..."

Suddenly, everything clicked.

"Naruto-kun," I instructed him, "look at me."

As Naruto did so, I responded the only way I could.

"I do not lie," I firmly stated. "It's a policy of mine. You can ask almost anyone who knows me and they'll confirm that. Every word I told you was the truth. I have every confidence in your potential as a ninja and I know that I can depend on you as a member of this team. The only thing I did was to put more effort into showing you that because I felt that it would help you. That's all there really is to it. I would sooner kill myself than betray someone who is important to me and you certainly qualify."

Naruto seemed nearly on the verge of tears; the relief in his eyes would have been noticable even if I hadn't specifically been looking for it.

"Naruto-kun," I continued, "most ninja are taught to hide their feelings. Many do so by reflex and many surpress them to the point that they themselves are no longer aware of them. Those ninja lose their humanity and often become little more than unfeeling killing machines. That's why I plan on being very careful with how I teach you those skills. It's true that you need to be able to control your emotions, to not let them get the best of you, but..." I sighed. "Being a ninja is dangerous. The risk of losing yourself is just part of it."

I shook my head. "Regardless, the point is that my own teachers were not nearly as... nice... about such things. I was trained by people who believed that you should never let your emotions get in the way of what needs to be done. In this case I interpret a large part of my job as being to help you -- and this goes for the two of you as well, Sakura-kun, Sasuke-kun -- to achieve your dreams and to help you accomplish your goals. Tell me something, Naruto-kun. Would you hurt someone you care for if you could avoid it? If I'd thought that telling you what I did would harm you somehow I wouldn't have done so, no matter how much it would have hurt me."

I had promised Minato that I would look after Naruto, after all.

Looking up I noticed that Sasuke had a look of barely-disguised contempt on his face while Sakura was actually glaring at him.

Damn. That was promising.

On the other hand, Naruto wore a look of understanding mixed with his earlier relief. I just gave him a smile.

"Anyway," I finished, "finish your lunches and we'll move on to today's training, OK?"

With that, there was a flurry of activity as Sasuke and Sakura followed my instruction while I sealed my bento and Naruto's bowls back into my scroll.

-----------

Several minutes later I led my team to the edge of a nearby wooded area. I was somewhat at a loss as to what to call it -- it was too small to be considered a forest but too large to be considered a grove. The training grounds of Konoha had these interspersed throughout them, a legacy of the First Hokage that the shinobi of Konoha continued to use for their original purpose: training.

Of course they didn't last long when I was around, which was part of why Tenzou was rarely assigned to prolonged missions outside the village.

"Right," I began. "To start with, I'm going to teach you a rather useful chakra control exercise."

My students' reactions were a bit of a mixed bag.

"Look," I explained, "Naruto-kun needs the control training and the exercise forms the basis of a rather useful technique in and of itself. Additionally, better control won't hurt any of you and this is on the list of things that you pretty much have to master before you can be considered chuunin."

I shrugged. "Besides, I don't expect all of you to master the exercise at the same time and that will give me a chance to teach another exercise to whoever finishes first."

I noticed that Naruto and Sasuke looked... disconcerted? Regardless, they seemed a bit put off.

"After you master this, I have a list of exercises to teach each of you, but they're different exercises for each of you," I clarified. "If you all finish at the same time, I'll have to split my attention three ways to teach three different exercises at the same time. If you don't I can stagger the schedules somewhat and check between you."

Naruto nodded in understanding, before scrunching his face up in thought.

"Why different exercises?" Sasuke asked.

"Each of you is suited for different techniques, which means that you'll have to learn different things in order to master them," I answered, shrugging. "The one good thing about the D-ranked missions that we'll be stuck running is that they can usually be adapted into team coordination training, so we'll be doing that while we run them."

"Ne, Sensei?" Naruto asked. "I understand why I need to learn chakra control, but why are you starting with it for Sakura-chan and Sasuke?"

I grinned at him. "I had originally intended to start with an answer to that," I told him, "but we got distracted and I decided to skip it since I'd covered a bit of the material when I evaluated your ability. On the other hand I think that the explanation and demonstration could do you some good, and you just gave me the perfect lead in, didn't you?"

Naruto nodded in understanding, a small smile gracing his face.

"Anyway, to an extent, your ability at ninjutsu can be measured by three things: how much chakra you have, how well you can control it, and what you know how to do with it. Naruto-kun has a huge amount of chakra but not much control. Sakura-kun, on the other hand, has very little chakra, but has the best control of the three of you. Sasuke-kun falls between Naruto-kun and Sakura-kun on both categories, but is somewhat ahead in terms of the third category."

Sasuke looked at me.

"I'm referring to the fact that you know a form of fire-style nature manipulation," I clarified.

"Hn," Sasuke replied.

"Anyway, having more chakra means that you can put more power into your techniques, can use more techniques before becoming exhausted, and can use techniques that require more raw power. Knowing more abilities means that you can do more things with your chakra. Finally, having better control means that you can use your chakra more efficiently, using less chakra to achieve a specified effect, thereby effectively increasing your reserves and letting you use techniques that require finer and more precise control, something which is not to be discounted in terms of importance."

Seeing that my students were following me, I walked up to a tree and gathered a good amount of chakra into the basic pattern of a rasengan. "This is a fairly large amount of chakra, formed into a fairly advanced jutsu, although without the control that would be needed to complete the technique."

With that I slammed it into the tree where it dissipated, leaving a few scratches in the bark. "As you can see, it didn't do much. With good control, however," I said, holding out the index finger of my right hand and gathering some chakra into it, "considerably less chakra can be used to accomplish a great deal more." As I finished I lightly tapped the tree with my finger, releasing the chakra I had gathered in a single controlled burst.

The tree cracked and fell over, much to my students' surprise. Naruto's eyes actually bugged out somewhat.

"That was a small demonstration of what can be done with enough chakra control," I told them. "With enough raw power... well, you've all heard stories about the Kyuubi's attack." I shook my head. "Lots and lots of power, very little control or precision."

Naruto quickly calmed down at that, although the expression on his face was thankfully more of determination than depression.

"On the other hand, you get the best results when you combine the two," I continued, gathering my chakra in a completely different manner and focusing my senses on another tree. After a moment of concentration I moved, a blade of wind-natured chakra forming as an extension of my arm and slicing through the tree. Not one to let it end there I quickly took the blade back around for another slice, using my momentum to bounce off a nearby tree and come back for another cut. Within a few rebounds from the nearby foliage I had cut through the tree nearly ten times, easily preparing it for the finisher which consisted of a chakra-enhanced kick that sent the pieces crashing away from my students before the tree had time to begin to fall over from my first cut.

All in all, I thought that it was a rather impressive demonstration. Naruto, apparently, agreed with me.

"That was so cool!" he exclaimed, leaning forward as he stared at one of the pie-shaped slices of the tree.

I grinned, panting as I held my hands to my shins. "I'm glad you think that," I told him. "That first ball of chakra took more out of me than I thought. Give me a second, would you?"

After a few moments I managed to catch my breath and figured that I had recovered enough to use a technique that I normally saved for emergencies. Focusing within, I formed my remaining chakra into a metaphorical battering ram and forcibly opened kyuumon for a few moments, flooding my system with chakra and filling my reserves.

I'd pay for it later, of course, in the form of slowed regeneration for a few days and a nasty headache in the morning, but I couldn't afford to show weakness to Sasuke and that meant that I couldn't admit just how much those techniques had really taken out of me.

Repeated uses would of course exact a higher price. Fortunately, I could afford to take it relatively easy for a few days -- after using that technique, I'd need to.

My reserves recovered to near their maximum, I stood up and focused my attention back on my students. "Anyway, that last thing was a technique I'm working on; I call it 'kaze no yaiba'. Ideally, I'd be able to form the blade in an instant and use less chakra than I do, among other things, but... well, that's why I'm still training."

Specifically, the ideal version of that technique would be able to cut through armor. While I was at it, the ability to cut through a manifested aura would be nice, too.

Oh, and "less chakra" meant less than a tenth of what it actually took. If it wasn't for Naruto I wouldn't have bothered with fuuton techniques, honestly, but... well, each fuuton technique I picked up or developed was one more to teach Naruto -- one more way in which Naruto could become stronger.

Well, that and fuuton techniques were rather useful for directing a giant cloud of nerve gas.

"Alright," I said, shaking myself out of my thoughts, "anyway, Naruto-kun, you have ridiculous amounts of chakra, but not much knowledge of techniques or control over that power. Sasuke-kun has some knowledge of ninjutsu and high reserves for a beginning genin, as well as decent control for a fresh graduate. Sakura-kun has fairly low reserves for a beginning genin, but makes up for that by using what she has efficiently. Regardless, as I said, all of you could use better control, which is why I'm going to be starting with one of the more useful control exercises. The fact that it also makes a useful technique in and of itself is a nice bonus."

I chuckled for a moment. "Actually, Naruto-kun, I've already demonstrated it for you." With that I walked to yet another tree, planted a foot on it, and proceeded to walk up it for a bit. When my feet were around my students' eye level I turned and crouched against the tree, sticking to it by my back. "The idea is to walk up the tree like I just did, although you've only really mastered the technique when you're able to go up all the way to the top. The trick is to expel a precise amount of chakra from the bottom of your feet. Too little, and you fall off. Too much, and, well..."

I "stood" back up, once again standing horizontally against the tree, and deliberately expelled an overly large amount of chakra from my feet, leaving a dent in the tree and forcing myself off. After a quick flip, I landed on my feet and finished the instructions. "It helps if you start at a bit of a run; save walking normally for later. Also, Naruto-kun, while it's easier to do when you're calm, that'll be truer for you than for most. Mark your progress with a kunai; that way you'll have an idea of how much you've improved. I'll be here to catch you if you fall or push yourself off the tree with too much force and can't recover on your own."

And, with that, my students started their training.

-----------

I wasn't surprised that Sakura was the first one to complete the exercise or that she managed to accomplish that before either Sasuke or Naruto managed to get more than five consecutive steps up their trees. I was, however, surprised that it took her nearly three hours. I supposed that I shouldn't have been; while it was true that Sakura had mastered this exercise almost instantly in the other timeline, she had done so after spending a while training under one of Konoha's foremost experts on traditional ninjutsu.

In the meantime, while they were working, I focused on giving my students the occasional tip. There wasn't much that I could say, really, given the nature of the exercise, but I did tell them what I could and caught all three of them at least once each.

Truth be told, Naruto needed catching most often. Not using enough chakra caused you to fall, true, but you were still in contact with the tree and could catch yourself pretty easily. Using too much, however, could send you flying. Sasuke and Sakura tended to make the former error more often than the latter, while Naruto actually had to switch trees once thanks to the indentations in the trunk weakening the tree's overall structure.

Soon enough, however, Naruto was no longer flying about and Sasuke was no longer slipping... and Sakura had managed to complete the exercise. Leaving a kage bunshin to watch over my other students (and mourning the loss of the chakra used in creating it), I took Sakura aside to explain the next exercise.

"Alright," I said after we'd cleared the edge of the miniature forest, "the next thing to work on is your chakra reserves. Like I told the others, you have good control, but not enough stamina, and you get the best results when you have both. You'll never be in Naruto-kun's league when it comes to raw power, of course, but you still need strength to work with or all the finesse in the world won't do you much good."

Sakura nodded in acknowledgement. "So how will I work on that?"

"You're going to make dinner," I replied, smiling mischeviously.

Sakura's eyebrow twitched, a vein on her forehead standing out prominently as she visibly restrained herself. "I assume that there's something more to this," she flatly stated, her suppressed anger leaking into her voice.

I grinned. "Of course. The best way to increase your chakra reserves is to use them -- they're like muscles that way, although physical conditioning exercises and meditation can help somewhat. I usually design training exercises to accomplish as many goals and teach as many skills as possible without becoming so difficult as to be useless, so the fact that this exercise will produce a meal is just an added bonus -- and make no mistake about it, all of you will be rather hungry by the time you're done training." I frowned at that. "For that matter, I'm maintaining a kage bunshin at the moment, and will probably continue to do so until you stop training. I'll need to eat as well."

Sakura nodded in understanding. "So what do I need to do?"

"First," I instructed, "use henge to transform into me."

After she did that, I counted some money and handed it to her. "That should be enough to buy some ingredients. I want you to go shopping while maintaining your disguise. I'll switch places with my kage bunshin and have it follow you in case you run into trouble; many chuunin and most jounin will be able to see through your disguise, so I'll have to be there to explain."

Sakura's eyes widened, something that looked rather strange on my face. "You're not only trying to get me to exercise my chakra, but you're also trying to teach me how to maintain a jutsu without focusing on it, right?"

I smirked. "Of course. You'll also have to imitate my mannerisms somewhat; the ability to do all of that subconsciously will be a major help later on."

Sakura-in-my-body suddenly frowned. "But shouldn't I start with someone closer to my size?"

I shrugged. The amount of chakra used in henge no jutsu was proportionate to the differences in size and shape between the user and the disguise, but... "No, not really. I'd have more trouble explaining to various people about what's going on if you were to transform into someone who isn't on this team, and I have notes on Sasuke-kun and Naruto-kun's relationships with some of the vendors, so I can advise you on how they'd act if needed. Additionally, I assure you that doing this while disguised as either of them will be considerably more difficult than doing it while disguised as me."

My temporary double looked at me in confusion. "Why would..."

I grinned. "You'll understand that tomorrow," I told "him". "For now, though, I decided to start with the easiest." I shrugged again. "Besides, this will also hopefully give you some insight into your teammates, thereby providing another benefit to the training."

Sakura-disguised-as-me again nodded in understanding.

"Oh," I said suddenly as I recalled something that I'd forgotten. "If you think that you can't maintain the disguise and need to take a break, put your right hand into the right half of the 'tiger' seal without lifting it. My clone will take that as a signal to lead you somewhere safe to rest."

Seeing that Sakura didn't seem to understand, I decided to elaborate a bit more. "People suddenly using or dropping a transformation in a crowded area could cause a disturbance," I explained, "so it's best if you don't do so. I don't want ANBU to get involved."

They'd understand, of course -- this was only a minor adaptation of a standard exercise, after all -- but it would be a hassle. Besides, the extra scrutiny could be a problem in a few days if everything went according to plan.

Sakura gave me an odd look. "Why not?" she asked.

"It would be a hassle," I responded frankly. "This is an adaptation of a standard training exercise, so they can't cause me too much trouble, but there are some members of ANBU who I don't get along with all that well, and I don't think they'd be above taking the opportunity to annoy me as much as possible."

Sakura frowned and sunk into a decidedly non-masculine posture before yelping as I appeared behind her and hit her upside the head, causing her to drop the henge.

"That," I chided her as the smoke dissapated, "would have given you away. Watch your mannerisms."

"Yes, sensei," she acknowledged before resuming her previous train of thought. "Why..."

"Don't I get along well with some of ANBU?" I asked. "Some of it's the usual personality conflicts, and some of it's the usual 'history' between shinobi, but I was specifically thinking of 'former' members of the 'Root' organisation when I said that."

Seeing Sakura's look of confusion, I decided to elaborate. "The 'Root' organization was a subdivision in ANBU that was run by Danzou. It was officially disbanded, but the members of it were almost univerally personally loyal to Danzou to the point that they viewed themselves as his tools. Because of that, it has lived on in an unofficial capacity... and is still loyal to him. As for the rest... I don't think that I've made a secret of my enmity with Danzou, and I assure you that the feeling is mutual. I wouldn't put it past his followers to take just about any opportunity to hassle me."

Sakura nodded in understanding. "But wouldn't they see through the henge?"

"Of course," I admitted, "but there's a difference between interrupting a training exercise and deliberately being overly heavy-handed and annoying when 'investigating' a 'disturbance' like the one you'd cause if you suddenly dropped the transformation in public."

"Ah. Understood."

"Good. When you get back, my clone will alert me, and I'll set up some equipment to cook with. You'll also be maintaining the henge while cooking, so take that into account; for now, at least, you don't want to get anything that requires overly elaborate preparation, and I speak from experience when saying that precise movements while 'wearing' the appearance of an unfamiliar body can be difficult, even if it is technically only an illusion. It takes a while to get used to doing so... which is another part of the purpose of the exercise."

Nodding in confirmation, Sakura re-applied the henge. I gave it a cursory check-over -- the hair was the right shade of green, the features shaped correctly... only her body posture gave away that it wasn't really me.

Well, that and the aura, the 'feel' of her chakra. Just sensing that, however, was a high chuunin level skill; actively faking it was a skill that even I had yet to master, and I was a jounin, a recognised master of the shinobi arts... for all the good that the status did me.

Once again forcing my attention back to the task at hand, I sent Sakura into the main portion of the village and set off to once again swap with my clone.

-----------

Meeting with my clone only took a few seconds; exchanging our memories of the events that took place in the meantime took a few more. Doing so was a technique that I had been been careful to master in order to conserve chakra; I couldn't afford to create and dismiss them the way Naruto did. I could think of circumstances under which it would be useful for Naruto, too, but it was beyond his ability for the time being, and even if he'd had the control to learn it, there were other things that would be more useful.

In other words, it was a matter of priorities. Besides, even if anything happened to me, I had... taken steps... to ensure that Naruto got a copy of my notes on jutsu, including that one, in addition to the trust fund, the safe houses, and the other things that I had left him.

My clone had needed to catch Naruto once while I was away; fortunately, it had been able to do so without dissapating. That... would have been problematic, given the technique I had used earlier. Pulling off what I needed to without overextending my reserves would be tricky enough with things the way they were.

As that thought ran through my head, my bunshin jumped off to find Sakura. Shaking myself out of my thoughts, I turned to resume catching duty with Naruto and Sasuke.

-----------

Sakura's shopping trip went fairly well; my clone only had to warn her off of a course of action once, and that wasn't technically her fault -- while she probably could have guessed that I knew Oota Gibi, she had no way to know that I disliked shimp, nor that Gibi was aware of my dislike... and the reasons for it. If you get sick every time you're exposed to a food for the first twenty five years of your life, you tend to avoid it, after all.

Regardless, her decision to buy some shrimp would have been enough to alert Gibi to the fact that something strange was going on. Being in a ninja village, where lots of people knew how to perform henge... well, the conclusion would have been obvious. And, given that Mai was Gibi's favorite cousin, well, I could expect... problems... from my least favorite fan-girl and her pet cult.

Gibi, on the other hand, would probably use it as an excuse to try to break into my apartment again. I didn't know just why he kept on trying to steal my underwear, and, frankly, I didn't want to. I wasted far too many antidotes on the idiot as things were. Knowing him, however, chances were that it was a simple case of wanting a nice present to give to his cousin.

Sakura's mother came from a... strange family. It was a wonder that my student turned out as normal as she did.

Ultimately, however, the reasons were unimportant; I had planned for Sakura to need a correction of that nature at some point during the trip. I would have preferred it if she hadn't suddenly started when she heard my voice (or should that be my clone's voice? Was there a difference? Did it really matter?) telling her to skip the shrimp, but she calmed down very quickly when I explained that it was just a genjutsu that I had developed for communications purposes.

Really, what was the point of limiting yourself to using genjutsu to trick people? Practitioners of traditional genjutsu had all too often blinded themselves to the true potential of their art by the whole "fool the senses" by "trapping them in illusion" spiel. Even if you were limiting yourself to the use of genjutsu for deception, the objective wasn't to fool your oppenent's senses -- it was to fool your opponent. Additionally, the purpose of genjutsu usually wasn't actually deception, but, rather, prospective control -- that is, you were trying to get your target to act in a certain way.

Part of becoming a jounin was demonstrating mastery of all of the shinobi arts, meaning that, in order to achieve my goal, I'd had to master genjutsu. Call it the remenants of my professional pride as a psychologist, call it a lack of aptitude for the traditional style of genjutsu -- call it what you will, but I had developed an entire school of genjutsu around the concept of the target knowing or realizing that my illusions were not real. After all, with a traditional genjutsu, you were screwed if your opponent saw through the illusion. With mine, well... that was the desired result.

As Sakura continued to shop, my clone explained the basic concepts behind that school, calling into question a number of the Academy's teachings on the subject... and if she seemed lost in thought as she paid for the groceries, well, that was hardly out of character for me. And if someone noticed the chakra I was using and directing at my double... well, most of Konoha's shinobi knew about my communications genjutsu, and it was easier to maintain a link when I wasn't actually talking than to drop and restart the link.

-----------

Meanwhile, Naruto and Sasuke's training was coming along nicely. By the time that Sakura had finished her shopping and returned to the training ground, I figured that I could afford to again switch places with my clone for awhile.

Accordingly, when my clone approached me and initiated another memory transfer, I told my students to keep an eye on each other and told each of them to catch the other if they fell. That done, I went to meet Sakura while my clone hid in the trees using a variant of shunshin that made it look like I'd dispelled the ridiculously costly energy construct. If either of my students failed in the second task I'd given them, my clone would prevent the other from paying the price.

On the other hand, a few catches would probably help them form a friendship, and Naruto really needed friends... and then there was the whole bit about forming a cohesive team, which would help improve Naruto's chances of survival once we started real missions. D-ranks didn't really count, after all.

Well, properly-classed D-ranks, anyway. The Million Ryo Kitty was a real pain to track and bringing Vampikitty in was just plain annoying. I kept petitioning the Hokage to re-class those, but... well, I just hoped that we didn't get stuck bringing in either of them; I really didn't want to have to wade through hordes of recently-turned vampiric rabbits again, and at their current levels the bloody things could actually pose a threat to my students. At least I'd learned my lesson after the Kitty of Borg incident and put a tracking device on Nuku-Nuku; that made her a lot easier to find.

Walking back to the edge of the mini-forest I took out the scroll I'd sealed the cooking gear into. Sakura would need it, after all.

As I arrived I found Sakura slumped against a rock, her transformation no longer active. Pausing a moment to observe I noticed that her breathing was deeper than normal and that she was showing several other signs of exhaustion. In other words, she wasn't going to be using chakra for a while. I was actually somewhat impressed, to be honest -- I wasn't expecting her to last as long as she did and she'd done it without stopping to rest.

Put another way, she had worked herself just short of exhaustion and managed to hide that fact until she got to a "safe" location.

Approaching her, I took a moment to look at the groceries she'd picked up. She'd gotten a few types of seafood, some vegetables, some greens, some tofu, a couple of eggs... the real give-away, however, was the mirin and the shoyu. "Planning to make yosenabe?"

My pink-haired student just nodded and handed me the change, still trying to regain her breath.

Idly noting that she hadn't withheld anything, not that I'd expected her to, I smiled. Yosenabe wasn't one of my favorites but it wasn't bad, and it was something that Naruto would probably enjoy, even if he'd probably never had the opportunity to try it. Besides, it was one of those dishes that had thousands of variants; no two families or restaurants made it quite the same way, so it was always interesting to try. More importantly, however, it required very little in the way of equipment to prepare.

Best of all, it was one of those dishes that most people knew about and ate on occasion. It was too expensive in Konoha for many families to eat on a regular basis, but cheap enough that almost everyone could afford it from time to time. If my guess was right and Naruto had never had it... well, Sakura's reaction to that piece of information would be interesting.

"Going by the mirin," I commented as I opened my scroll and unsealed a few pots and a chopping board, "I'd say that your family's recipe is Tokyo-ryu. It's a shame that Kyoto-ryu was mostly lost in the Great Cataclysm, but... well, that was to be expected, really."

Sakura looked up at that. "What do you mean, Sensei?" she asked, still breathing rather hard.

I paused for a moment. "Kyoto was destroyed in the disaster," I explained, unsealing a portable stove. "The only reason their style of cooking nabemono survived was the fact that while Kyoto itself perished there were people from Kyoto who didn't. Today, Kyoto-ryu is mostly confined to Wave Country, although you can find families that practice it in Konoha every now and then."

Sakura's eyes widened at that. "Sensei? What..."

I shrugged. "The Academy doesn't teach about that part of history," I commented. "Oh, sure, over seven billion people died-"

My student's gasp of shock interrupted my lecture.

"-but that was somewhere around ten thousand years ago," I finished, choosing to ignore Sakura's loss of composure. "The Interregnum as a whole has passed into legend and been forgotten, for the most part, which is a shame; in many ways, the latter parts of that period were the height of human civilization. The Second Age of Magic was really just a throwback to the first, really, despite the mythos that has grown to surround it, and the Age of Overworlders started with a desperate struggle for survival and never reached the heights that were taken for granted towards the end of the Interregnum."

Sakura was staring at me by that point, apparently stunned into speechlessness.

"What?" I asked. "I told you that I was Konoha's foremost expert on ancient history, didn't I?"

Sakura visibly shook herself out of her state of shock. "But... that's..."

I just smiled. "We have some time before you have to start cooking, and I won't make you maintain a henge while you do that. In all honesty, with how tired you are I wouldn't even make you cook if it wasn't for the fact that I don't want the ingredients you bought to go to waste."

Sakura nodded in relief before her curiosity overcame her exhaustion. "Sensei?" she asked. "What do you mean by the Second Age of Magic?"

I shrugged. "Most people just call it the Age of Magic," I answered. "The problem is that it's not the only one. The rulers of the Second Age of Magic legitimized their rule on the grounds that they were the heirs of the rulers of the First, and they really didn't have much understanding of their abilities. They were certainly powerful -- that much is true -- and they did manage to save a portion of humanity from the Great Cataclysm, but they founded a civilization based on magic without knowing very much about the principles on which it was based. During the Age of Overworlders that fact was far more well-known, and the period during which the powers and artifacts on which the Second Age of Magic was founded were created came to be referred to as the First Age of Magic." I paused for a moment. "Of course, all of that was even more commonly known during the Second Age of Magic; it was common knowledge back then, although they had different names for the periods in question."

My student stared at me for a moment before visibly shaking herself out of her shock. I supposed that it was understandable; the Second Age of Magic was one of those things that were typically spoken of in legend and myth, along with the Silver Queen, the Immortal Sage, the Divine Emperor and several other larger-than-life historical figures who had accumulated since the Cataclysm.

People like the Sannin would be forgotten in a few short centuries, never to have the sheer historical impact that those three had. That wouldn't be the case with Minato. No matter what came I wouldn't let him and his sacrifice be forgotten, and both lived on through his heir and his legacy, even if far too many of the people he had died for proved unworthy of what he had done for them.

On another note I wondered what Sakura would do if she knew that I had several of the Immortal Sage's journals in my apartment... including the first and last volumes. Heck, just telling her my opinion of the Silver Queen or the Divine Emperor would probably blow her mind. I might have tried it under other circumstances, but while it could have been amusing the discussion of history was more of a distraction than anything else.

"Sensei?" Sakura asked after a moment.

"Yes?"

"What kind of ninja are you?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Could you explain what you mean?"

"Well," she said, "there are genjutsu specialists, ninjutsu specialists, generalists..." She trailed off, taking a deep breath before she resumed talking. "I suppose I just want to know what you are going to teach us."

I nodded in understanding. "Well," I explained, "I'm known for a lot of things, really... I was famous before I became a ninja, and I figured that since being largely anonymous would be impossible I might as well use my reputation to my advantage... but I suppose that's not really an answer to your question." I paused in thought. "I'm an expert on jutsu construction and the theoretical aspects of chakra manipulation, for one thing, so I can teach you that, of course." I frowned and forced myself to focus on something more immediate, taking a moment to unseal a pot and some measuring cups. "Why don't you start cooking, and we can talk a bit more, okay?"

"Okay," Sakura confirmed, before pausing for a moment. "Do you have any water?"

"Of course," I replied, unsealing a gallon jug. "Is this enough?"

"It should be."

"Good," I affirmed. "Anyway," I continued as Sakura started to heat the water, "I'm also one of Konoha's top experts on summoning techniques."

Jiraiya was better than me in many ways but we had drastically different styles, so comparison was often difficult. The remaining competition for the title of Konoha's top summoning expert came from Orochimaru and Anko. Orochimaru certainly knew more than me, but he wasn't a Konoha ninja anymore, so he didn't count. The problem was that I didn't know how much he'd taught Anko.

"I'm Konoha's foremost expert on a number of obscure topics and have adapted large portions of that knowledge to aid me in the field. I'm rather fond of using weapons from the late Interregnum, for instance, and I know how they work and are constructed."

I was especially fond of nerve agents and nuclear weapons, although the odd metric ton or two of C4 certainly had its uses. Guns were nice, too, especially if you used a sarin solution in a hydraulic bullet, and I had a shotgun that had been my constant companion for the past twenty or so years; it was currently sealed into my left glove so that all it would take to release and ready it was putting my hand into a certain position and releasing some chakra in a certain way.

Oh, and don't forget napalm. I liked napalm.

"I've also developed my own school of genjutsu based on a rather thorough understanding of the inner workings of the human mind. Overall, compared to more conventional genjutsu mine are more subtle and take a gentler, more patient hand to make them work effectively, but also have fewer of the weaknesses associated with conventional genjutsu."

Of course, the crown jewel of my collection wasn't something that I was going to readily share, largely because its reputation had drastically exceeded its reality. A genjutsu designed to take advantage of natural memory processes in order to plant a false memory was scary, true, especially since I could use it without using hand-seals, but it was drastically less useful than most would think, especially given the effort it took to make it work and the fact that it was extremely difficult to plant memories that weren't extremely plausible to the target... although it was possible to use it to alter details in an existing memory or to blur parts of one. In other words, making someone think that you'd ordered yakiniku when you ate dinner with them the previous week was usually easy while making them think that they were really spies from Suna was virtually impossible... and even the former application often took hours and had a decent chance of failure, which made it pretty much impractical for use in the manner in which it was originally intended.

On the other hand the reputation that the jutsu had acquired was rather useful, which was why I didn't want people to know its secrets. Well, that and the fact that its overblown reputation would be... helpful... if I ever really needed to bribe Kurenai.

"I'm a master of katon and fuuton ninjutsu, although I use a dramatically different style of katon than Sasuke-kun's family did. I'm also capable of using a few suiton and doton jutsu, and I've modified jutsu of all of those types to make them... well, a lot more deadly than the original jutsu were."

Honestly, why make a clone out of mud when C4 worked just as well? Oh, and dissolving a few liters of sarin into the water you were going to use for a suiryuudan made that jutsu a whole lot more effective... not to mention the uses of katon jutsu in setting off explosives or fuuton jutsu in directing clouds of nerve gas or radioactive waste.

"I'm fairly competent at fuuinjutsu and know a number of obscure seals, but my knowledge in that area is something of a patchwork."

Most of my knowledge in the area was from my work with Minato before the attack. Basically, if it had to do with the bijuu or with summoning then I probably knew it. I was pretty good with using seals to make things, but I had very little knowledge of the "quick and dirty" sealing methods that were useful in the field; I could make a seal for pretty much anything but I usually couldn't do it quickly. My knowledge of that kind of sealing was mostly limited to nonliving objects that didn't interact with chakra, with the shiki fuujin being a notable exception. I'd spent a long time studying and learning that seal. On the other hand, my glove designs were coveted by many ANBU. If I actually cared about the village I probably would have shared them. As things were, they were written off as one of those secret techniques that most shinobi kept.

"Taijutsu is my weakest area, but I can still give you some training in that."

I'd even created my own taijutsu style. Okay, so combining Tai Chi with Tai Kwan Leep produced a rather... unique combination, but there was something to be said for a combat style based around redirecting the opponent's momentum so that their face hit your boot... and I had mastered both of its component styles anyway. Tai Chi Leep definitely had a good bit of surprise value.

"Still, I suppose that the answer to your question is that I'm a logistic/strategic specialist. However, my real strength as a shinobi doesn't come from any of that -- it comes from two completely different things." I chuckled at that. "The first is the fact that I'm a sneaky, underhanded bastard who can come up with some rather effective, if ruthless, strategies on the spot."

Sakura looked somewhat surprised at that.

"Why be surprised? There's no point in not admitting it -- I'm a ninja, after all."

Sakura nodded absently.

"The other is the fact that I'm not as... bound by tradition... as most people, thanks to when and where I grew up. I look at the traditions that dictate what shinobi do and the reasons those traditions came to be and discard the ones I think are not applicable or are useless. It's an attitude that's earned me a reputation as Konoha's most unconventional shinobi, and helped me take advantage of many ninja's... oh, I suppose you could call them mental blind spots."

The classic example of one of those was why the kunoichi who were sent to seduce me always failed. It wasn't like it was hard to do or anything. All they really had to do was to not give me a reason to dislike them on a personal level and to tell me the truth when I asked them why they were making the attempt. It wasn't that I was any less horny than anyone else stuck with the hormones of someone in their mid-twenties for several decades -- it was that lying turned me off. It also got me rather angry, but that was another matter altogether.

Honestly, you'd think that they'd have figured it out after the first few dozen attempts. Instead, the repeated failures had earned me a "do not seduce" line in several bingo books.

"It's not that I don't respect traditions," I elaborated. "Every tradition came to be for a reason, and it would be foolish to disregard the wisdom and hard-earned knowledge of those who came before us. If you follow them blindly, however, they box you in, limit your thinking, and make you disregard options that otherwise could be useful. Accordingly, I plan to teach you the traditional methods as well as my own and the reasons for both, and let you form your own synthesis."

Sakura nodded in understanding before adding some konbu to the water. So, she was making dashi stock for the base. Interesting... and definitely Tokyo-ryu.

"Anyway, I didn't grow up in Konoha and we didn't have ninja where I'm from. My own homeland's military traditions were... very different... and my attitudes reflect that. One of the things I plan to teach you is how to think about these things; I don't want you to follow my teachings blindly. I want you to evaluate and consider what I say and to reach your own conclusions."

In what would probably seem like a paradox, their doing that would actually make Sakura and Sasuke easier to manipulate. After all, what better way to build trust than to express that desire? Better yet, I was very good at reasoned argument, especially when compared to children who had no training in logic, and had a rather large grab bag of tricks for making something seem reasonable. Additionally, a healthy dose of skepticism would do Naruto good. As for Sakura and Sasuke... well, I was telling them that I wanted them to think for themselves, which was true... but I most certainly would be teaching them how to think as well.

"Yes, Sensei," Sakura confirmed.

We continued to talk for a while after that, with an occasional pause as Sakura needed a new cooking implement or as she entered a phase of her culinary efforts that required more of her concentration. I was certainly beginning to enjoy this job... even if Sasuke was still an intolerable angst machine. That, after all, was what the Prozac was for. I'd even included detailed dosage instructions on the side of the bottle. What could go wrong?

I'd later regret that thought.

-----------

After a while Sakura finished cooking and I dispelled my clone and went to tell Sasuke and Naruto to end their training for the time being. On the way back I sent Naruto ahead and took Sasuke aside to talk to him for a moment.

"So, Sasuke-kun," I asked the sole "loyal" survivor of Konoha's most arrogant clan, "have you given any thought to what we talked about yesterday?"

"Yeah," Sasuke confirmed. "As long as Itachi dies by my hand... I don't care. I want to kill him."

I smirked. This was perfect. "So, poison's fine, then?"

Sasuke shook his head. "Poisoned weapons, yes."

I could work with that. "No poisoning his food or water, then."

"To weaken him, perhaps," Sasuke allowed. "But if he were to die by his own action, would I really have ended his life, or would he have died by his own hand?"

I smirked. "In other words you want there to be no doubt that you were the one to end his life, right?"

A terse nod was my only answer.

"Good," I told him. "Now for the other part. I told you that I'm willing to help you. The other question you need to ask yourself is this: do you want my help?"

Sasuke's eyes widened at that.

"I'm going to work you as hard as I can. I'm going to push you beyond anything you thought possible. I'm going to attack your weaknesses -- and don't think you don't have them -- like a zombie chipmunk that just finished eating the brains of a rabid dog." I blamed Vampikitty's undead hordes for my choice of analogies. Those things had a tendency to be annoying. "By the time I'm through with you... well, let's just say that you'll be able to make Itachi look like a joke... and you'll be able to kill him long before I'm through teaching you."

"Heh," Sasuke said, the sound coming out as halfway between an amused laugh and a contemptuous snort. "That's just how I want it."

"Perfect," I replied. "Now let's eat. You're probably hungry and you'll need your energy."

With that we headed to join the others.

-----------

While early, our dinner was a fairly subdued affair when you consider just who was participating. Judging by Sakura's expression when Sasuke and I arrived, Naruto had said something that shocked her and she was deep in thought, occasionally glancing at Naruto or picking at her food while myriad expressions passed across her face. Naruto, in turn, eagerly inhaled his food. Sasuke, while not nearly as enthusiastic as Naruto, was also devouring is meal, although I suspected that it had more to do with his training and wanting to keep his energy up than a desire to eat.

I, on the other hand, calmly ate my dinner while watching my students and taking some time to analyze the taste. As it happened I was right -- the yosenabe was definately Tokyo-ryu.

Like all things, however, the meal eventually came to an end and I sealed our used utensils back into the scroll I had extracted them from, grateful for the fact that the completed seal array for a clean dish and a dirty one looked completely different. Keeping a separate scroll for refuse and unwashed dishes would take up storage space that was useful for carrying other things -- if I had to do that I'd actually have to ration my use of C4 on longer missions. As it was, I already had to tone down the explosions to avoid getting yelled at by the Third.

Oh, well. Even if I was limiting myself to two or three tons of the stuff per opponent, that much ordinance was usually enough to take out an enemy ninja if it went off at point-blank range.

"Right," I said after a moment. "Normally, I'd keep all of you a bit longer but I have things that I need to talk to Naruto-kun about, and I suspect that'll take a while. Sasuke-kun, I'll work out a strategy for your goal and get back to you tomorrow."

Sasuke grunted in confirmation.

"In the meantime, feel free to continue with the tree-walking exercise, but stay close enough to the ground to avoid injury if you fall."

Seeing that he understood I turned to Sakura, only to have her preempt me.

"Recca-sensei?"

"Yes?"

"Could I talk to you for a moment? In private?" she hesitantly asked.

I gave her a gentile smile. "Sure," I replied. "Just a moment."

"Naruto-kun?" I asked, turning towards my yellow-haired student. "Could you meet me at the park by the Academy -- the one you used to visit after school? I'll head there when I'm done talking to Sakura-kun."

I deliberately avoided mentioning why he visited the place. While saying that he went there to watch the other kids play despite the fact that they'd never let him join in would help advance my plans with Sakura, it would also be a painful reminder to Naruto. In fact, even mentioning what I did was problematic on that count... but it was also the only landmark that Naruto would be personally familiar with on the way from my apartment to this training ground that could double as a meeting place.

"In any case," I finished, "you're dismissed."

With that, I gave my team a quick smile and used shunshin no jutsu to transport myself back to where Naruto and Sasuke had been training. Modifying the jutsu to bring Sakura with me was somewhat difficult... but well within my abilities.

It was fortunate that shunshin didn't use that much chakra, even if it did take a great deal of concentration. I knew that I'd need my chakra in the days to come.

-----------

As we arrived at our destination Sakura started.

"Your first time being taken along with someone when they use shunshin no jutsu?" I asked.

"Yes," she replied, staring at... something.

I followed her gaze, only to find one of the trees that Naruto had accidentally broken by using too much chakra in one of his climbing attempts. It wasn't anything too spectacular, really; just a tree that had been broken at a point about four meters off the ground by a sudden concussive force. Okay, so the tree had been almost a meter thick, but she'd seen me slice an even larger tree into pieces earlier.

"What is it?" I inquired, curious as to what she was thinking.

"I never realized," she softly remarked. "I remember hearing that tree fall over, but... it was Naruto-kun who did that, right?"

I nodded my head in confirmation. "Yeah," I told her. "I think he was doing something similar in the Academy... that's why he could never master the basic bunshin. Hopefully, this will help."

My student paused for a moment at that, looking around. "Isn't it dangerous?"

I smiled at that. "That's why I was there to catch you," I told her.

"But... when we went shopping..."

"Kage bunshin," I answered. "Actually, I doubt that they'll need my help tomorrow; both of them have improved to the point where each of them can catch the other if something goes wrong."

"I see," she commented. "That's part of why you had all of us training in this at the same time, isn't it?"

"Yeah," I confirmed. "There were a lot of reasons, but that was one of them. It also makes a decent team-building exercise; relying on someone to do something like that is a good way to build trust between you, and can accelerate the beginnings of a friendship... and, to be honest, both Naruto-kun and Sasuke-kun need friends."

I chuckled at that. "Of course, the trick is going to be keeping Naruto-kun from becoming Sasuke-kun's closest friend until I can convince Sasuke-kun that killing his closest friend in order to obtain the highest level of his family's kekkei genkai is... inadvisable. Death threats only go so far, after all."

Sakura stared at me, her eyes wide. "That's..."

I shrugged. "Sasuke-kun is obsessed with power," I told her. "I don't know if he'd really do that, but I can't afford to take the risk. I've already talked to him about it, but I'm not sure how much really sunk in, so I'll have to revisit that point from time to time."

"Oh," Sakura replied, staring at her feet.

"So," I inquired after a moment in an attempt to break the metaphorical awkward silence, "what was it that you wanted to ask?"

My pink-haired student looked up at that, causing me a moment of shock when I noticed tears forming in her eyes. "Why?" she asked.

I frowned. "What do you mean?"

Sakura wiped her face, cleaning the nascent tears from her eyes, and visibly firmed her resolve. "I want to know," she said after a moment. "Who were Naruto-kun's parents? Why is he treated like that?"

That was surprising. "Well, telling you who his parents were would only leave you with more questions," I answered. "I told you before that I'm willing to tell you, but I seriously doubt that you know half of how he's treated... and telling you who Naruto-kun's parents were won't tell you what you want to know."

"But..." Sakura paused for a moment before her determination once again won. "I still want to know," she stated.

I sighed and pulled a folded piece of paper out of my vest pocket. "This," I said, unfolding it and handing it to her, "is the exact wording of my promise to Danzou. Pay close attention to the part that says that I'm obligated to make anyone who I tell make the same promise; if I tell you, you'll be bound to these terms as well."

Sakura skimmed the document for a moment before looking up. "This is... unusually thorough," she remarked.

I shrugged. "Of course," I agreed. "Danzou knew that I'd exploit any loopholes he left."

Sakura nodded, going through the paper much more closely. I noticed that she paused at one point as her eyes widened... I guessed that it was probably the clause that would require me to kill her if she violated the terms of the agreement. Eventually, however, she looked up and met my gaze. "Alright," she said. "I'll agree."

I smiled. "You still want to know?"

"Yes."

"Very well," I told her. "Naruto-kun's mother was named Hotaru. She was a civilian, not a ninja, but she was well-known amongst the shinobi of the village as a kind, supportive wife and a talented nurse, even if she had no training in or ability to use medical ninjutsu. In all honesty, I haven't heard anyone speak poorly of her -- she was nice to pretty much everyone."

Sakura's eyes widened a bit at that.

"As for Naruto-kun's father," I continued, "his name was Namikaze Minato, but you probably know him better as-"

"The Fourth Hokage," Sakura whispered, interrupting my speech.

"Yes," I confirmed. "Exactly."

"But..." she objected tears again forming in her eyes, "why? Why is he..."

I sighed. "There isn't a good reason," I answered. "In fact, Minato-sama's dying wish was that Naruto-kun be treated well."

"But... if that's true..."

"I told you that the answer to your question would only leave you with more questions, didn't I? The fact of the matter is that most of the village doesn't know or believe the truth of who Naruto-kun's parents were, but they do know of his father's last request -- just not his reasons for making it -- and they choose to ignore it." I let out another sigh. "I can't tell you the whole story," I confessed. "It ties into a certain state secret, but I can tell you this. They don't have a real reason for treating Naruto-kun the way they do. In the end they treat him as they do because they believe a lie. No matter how many times the Third Hokage or I told them the truth they refused to believe it, and instead chose -- and still choose -- to knowingly ignore the last request of someone who they claim was the village's greatest hero." I closed my eyes in reminiscence as the discussion called to mind my memories of my closest friend. "And, frankly, they were right about that, at least. Minato loved this village so much that he voluntarily sacrificed his soul and condemned himself to eternal torment to protect it... and all he asked in return was that we look after his only child since he wouldn't be able to do it himself."

Opening my eyes again, I found that Sakura's face was almost totally drained of blood as tears leaked down her face. At some point during my little tirade she'd apparently taken a step back and tripped, leaving her sitting in a rather awkward position as she stared at me.

"But... how... why..."

I sighed again. "I'll tell you what," I said. "I'm limited by that state secret -- it's integral to the whole story -- but Naruto-kun is allowed to tell people. If he decides to tell you -- and make no mistake, he has every reason not to -- I'll tell you everything. Just... don't pressure him, OK?"

Sakura mutely nodded.

"Anyway, I need to get going," I stated. "I need to meet Naruto-kun."

As I moved to form the seals for shunshin, however, Sakura interrupted me.

"What... how can we apologise? What would be enough? For something like this..."

I snorted. "Short of a harem of devoted sex-slaves?" I sarcastically asked before finishing my jutsu. "I can't think of anything." With those words, I vanished in a swirl of leaves. In retrospect, if I'd known the chaos that last comment would cause... I'd probably still have made it.

-----------

Getting to the park didn't take long. It probably would have taken less time if I hadn't used shunshin for the opening segment of the trip, but I had needed the training and it was somewhat customary, anyway. It was one of those times when I wished that I had a decent speed-movement jutsu. Shunshin was great for dramatic entrances and exits, not to mention throwing off persuit, but its limited range and the amount of time and concentration it took to use meant that it was usually quicker to just run, jump, or tree-hop the distance, and just enhancing movement speed by pushing chakra into my muscles was more energy-efficient.

Occasionally, someone would wonder why we bothered with shunshin if that was the case. The answer was rather simple, really: the movement it provided was a royal pain to trace. For someone in a profession that required stealth, that alone made it a godsend. Additionally, while it was useful for dramatic purposes as well, most experienced users of the technique could eliminate the flare on one end, thereby either appearing or disappearing in a manner that was both stealthy and apparently instantaneous.

Unfortunately I wasn't at that level yet, which was one reason why I used the jutsu more than was probably strictly necessary. As I now had a team to train I wasn't going to get to train on my own nearly as much as I'd normally like, so I couldn't afford to miss the opportunity to get some practice in, and shunshin used very little chakra.

I arrived to find Naruto sitting in a familiar swing, gazing at the children playing in the park. I paused a moment to wipe a tear out of my eye at the sight; I'd seen Naruto sitting in that swing countless times before... and it never stopped hurting.

"Hiya," I greeted, walking up behind him. "I hope I didn't keep you waiting for too long."

"Hey, Recca-sensei," he replied. "Don't worry. I was only here for a few minutes."

I gave my best friend's son a bittersweet smile. "I'm glad," I told him. "This place has far too many bad memories for both of us."

Naruto started at that. "Both of us?" he asked.

"Yes," I confirmed. "In a way, this place symbolizes your loneliness growing up. You'd come here every day, hoping that someone would let you join them in whatever game they were playing... and they never did." I sighed. "I'd come by and watch every now and then. I don't know if I thought I could make a difference or if I just wanted to be as close to you as I could, but I held the same hopes myself...."

On more than one occasion I'd left and taken my frustrations out on one of the many bandit camps that used to be scattered throughout Fire Country. The Bandit Slayer had become something of an urban legend throughout the ninja world, a legend which had only grown after my team and I had given "her" a name and face during one of our missions. In fact, the "Blame Lina Inverse" strategy had been quite effective in getting us out of trouble for some of the destruction we... err... accidentally caused.

Naruto looked up. "You're wrong," he said after a moment.

"Oh?" I inquired. "How so?"

"Once... when I was seven..."

My eyes widened at that revalation. "You were invited to join in?" I asked in shock.

"Yeah," he confirmed. "The son of a visiting merchant..."

I sighed again. "I wish I'd seen it," I wistfully remarked. "Do you know his name?"

"Shingo," he told me. "Yamaguchi Shingo."

I closed my eyes, committing the name to memory. I'd have to find out what happened to him. I knew that the family name sounded familiar, so it shouldn't be too much of a stretch...

Oh. Crap.

I suddenly remembered where I'd seen it -- on a list of the casualties taken by a caravan when it was raided by bandits. The name wouldn't usually have stuck in my head, but the bandits in question had been particularly brutal, the caravan had been woefully underguarded, and Shingo had been around Naruto's age...

Right. There went my half-formed plans to track him down and find some way to thank him. On the other hand, I now had a new name for a potential proxy... the Yamaguchi Shingo Memorial Trust sounded decent enough... and if I ever ran into any of his relatives I now had a story to tell them... plus if I ever found evidence that Danzou had been responsible... well, I'd have another item for the Second List.

And why hadn't I heard about that earlier? It hadn't been in any of the reports... oh, and I'd have to mention this to Sakura. I wouldn't tell her the whole story, but I'd have to correct for the factual error in what I'd told her...

"I see," I said after a moment. "That changes things."

"He was killed by bandits a few weeks later," Naruto continued without a trace of sadness in his voice. "Old Man Hokage told me that the Bandit Slayer took care of them, but..."

If I'd known that little detail about their victims I wouldn't have used a disguise, and I certainly wouldn't have been as merciful as I had been when I slaughtered them all. Burning to death as they choked on their own vomit was entirely too good for them.

"You came here to remember?"

Naruto just shook his head. "I'll never forget," he confessed. "No... I came here because it's where I met him." With that, he actually smiled. "I guess I just thought of it as a lucky spot."

"'Tis better to have loved and lost...," I quoted, "ne?"

Naruto just looked confused.

"It was a quote from an ancient poem," I explained. "It means that, if given the choice, it's better to have cared for someone and lost them than to have never met them. While losing people precious to you hurts... in the end, lonliness is worse... and, no matter what happens to the people you care for, a small part of them still lives on in your heart."

"Yeah," he replied, suddenly a bit more subdued.

"Anyway," I said, deliberately changing the subject, "my apartment isn't that far from here. Shall we get going? We can talk on the way..."

"Okay," he cheerfully agreed, getting up from the swing.

I just inwardly shook my head. If that incident hadn't been in the reports... what else was missing? More importantly, why wasn't it there? Had Naruto's ANBU guard been slacking off that day? Had he or she deliberately omitted it? Had the reports been edited somehow?

I had too many questions and not enough answers. For now, all I could do was shelve the issue and continue with what I was doing.

-----------

As I led Naruto to my apartment I knew that it wouldn't take long to arrive, but I had something that I needed to get off of my chest. "Naruto-kun," I started, "do you remember how Sakura-kun was behaving during dinner?"

Naruto nodded. "Yeah," he confirmed. "It was really strange."

I sighed. "As near as I can tell, something you said... upset her," I told him. "She wasn't angry with you or anything," I hastily added, "but she was pretty distressed."

"But I just asked her what she made," he protested.

I tilted my head slightly as we continued walking. "Was that before or after you ate some?" I asked.

"After," he replied. "It was good, but I didn't know what it was called."

I chuckled. "It's called 'yosenabe'," I explained. "It's a pretty common dish -- basically the sort of thing that parents make their children in order to use up any ingredients they've accumulated... or the sort of thing that they make when they're on a budget and can't afford to make anything fancy."

"Yeah," he confirmed. "Sakura-chan told me that much."

"Well," I continued, "I think that she just realized what you've been through, growing up on your own... although that certainly explains what happened after dinner..."

Naruto looked up sharply.

"Did you say anything else?" I asked.

"Just that it was a lot like something that Old Man Hokage got me to celebrate my entrance into the Academy," he answered.

I raised an eyebrow. "We need to turn right here," I said, making the turn in question before going back to the earlier conversation. "I suppose that you made a comparison between them, as well?"

"Well, yeah," he agreed as he followed me. "Sakura-chan's cooking was a lot better!"

I just chuckled. "Did you asked her anything else?"

"Umm... just what some funny-looking ingredient was. Sakura-chan called it 'octopus'."

I shrugged. "Octopus is pretty common," I answered, "but it's not used that much in the sort of food you're used to eating. Sakura-kun, however, lives with an aunt who's a merchant. She specializes in tea, but does some business in seafood and tools, as well. Chances are that Sakura-kun grew up eating it on a regular basis."

Naruto's eyes widened as he stared at me.

"I know her aunt," I explained, not wanting to get into that particular... complication in my life. "I was rather surprised to find out that Sakura-kun was her niece, but... well, that's the way life is sometimes."

"Oh," he replied. "I see."

"Anyway, I wanted to tell you a bit about what's been going on with her."

"Oh?"

I chuckled. "Yes," I confirmed. "I talked to her about a few things yesterday, and she was... rather upset. She wanted to offer you an apology for how she treated you in the Academy, and you apparently had mentioned that you didn't really know much about your parents."

Naruto's eyes were again wide as he hung on my every word.

"Anyway, when you were taking that message to the Third she asked me about your family. I told her that you didn't know who they were, either, and explained the situation with Danzou." I sighed at that. "The... agreement... that I made with him doesn't prevent me from telling others, but does require me to have them make the same agreement before I tell them... and requires me to kill them if they break it."

Naruto's eyes were now the size of dinner plates.

"I told her that she essentially had two choices -- she could try to help you figure it out from my hints, or I could tell her and she could help me in telling you about your family and hoping that you could figure it out on your own."

Naruto stopped walking.

I took a few steps and turned to face him, hoping that he would understand. "What she wanted to talk to me about... your conversation about dinner apparently helped her come to a decision. She wanted to understand why you grew up the way you did and thought that knowing would help. I warned her and told her that it would only leave her with more questions, but she insisted." I sighed again. "I meant to talk to you about my thoughts on the matter before Sakura-kun came to a decision, but there wasn't time..."

"You told her, didn't you?" Naruto whispered.

"Yes," I confirmed, searching Naruto's face for any signs of percieved betrayal.

"Why?" he asked, his voice still soft as he closed his eyes.

"Because she's my back-up plan," I answered, kneeling in front of him so that our eyes were level. "Naruto-kun," I admitted, "I'm a ninja. We don't tend to live long lives, and I could easily die on a mission... or even when I'm not on one. There's so much I want to tell you... so many things... and there are questions that you don't even know to ask that I desperately want to answer... but I can't unless you discover your father's identity. If anything happens to me... I can't count on anyone else telling you... so my only hope is to let someone else know -- someone who would also want you to know, someone close to you... like a teammate. I know it's not fair, but..."

I stopped, noting the tears leaking from his eyes.

"I understand," he replied softly, his voice just above a whisper.

"Good," I responded, wrapping my arms around him and holding him close as I began to cry on his shoulder.

There were so many things that I'd never get to do if things went according to my plan... so many lost opportunities. I just hoped that Naruto would be able to pick up the pieces... and that I'd be able to teach my students enough before the time came for me to die.

-----------

The remainder of the walk to my apartment was relatively silent. I just hoped that Naruto hadn't noticed my tears; I didn't need him doing anything... rash. Fortunately I wasn't inclined to sobbing and the tears really hadn't started to escape until after I had embraced him. With any luck, Naruto hadn't noticed.

When we arrived, however, Naruto decided to speak up. "My father... he was important to you, wasn't he?" he asked.

"He was my closest friend," I answered as I disarmed one of the traps on the front door of the building. "He meant everything to me."

After that we settled into a sort of silence as I got to work disarming the traps. It took a few minutes; I didn't use the front door much, after all, and I hadn't originally planned to take Naruto here so soon.

"Well," I commented after I was done, "come in. Just be careful; there are more traps in the hallway."

Naruto blinked at that. "Don't you think this is a bit... much?"

I shrugged. "I own the building," I explained, "and there aren't any other tenants. Besides, I usually come in through one of the windows. I just didn't take you in that way because I'm the only one who can get in through it without dying."

"WHAT?!" he shouted.

I grinned. "I'm immune to the poisons I used, after all," I told him. "There's another entrance that I use for friends and such, but I wanted you to know not to use the front door."

To date only one other person knew how to get in that way. Naruto would be the second. It wasn't like I was incommunicado while I was in my apartment, either, and there were plenty of ways to let me know that someone wanted to talk to me.

"Isn't that a bit... much?" he hesitantly asked.

"Well," I replied after a moment, "I started setting things up like this after an assassination attempt. I've changed the traps since; Jin-sensei is an expert at them and his advice and lessons helped me improve them considerably, but the basic idea has remained the same. Besides, there's some pretty valuable stuff in here and I don't want it stolen."

Naruto seemed nonplussed at that.

I began leading him through the building, disarming the traps as we went and pointing out various rooms. They were mostly trapped decoys and I explained that they were such, but I did have a few genuine workshops in there, and gave Naruto a brief explanation of their purposes as I lead him to the area in which I actually lived. The need to re-arm the traps after Naruto and I had passed slowed us down somewhat, but that's why I didn't use the front door much.

When I mentioned the lab dedicated to advanced uses of the kage bunshin, however, he expressed a rather strong interest.

"Don't expect anything too spectacular," I warned him before opening the door. "Most of that sort of thing isn't suited for a lab."

I noticed a slight widening of Naruto's eyes as he took in the room. It really wasn't anything spectacular -- several seal arrays and devices to measure chakra, a few tables, some books, some scrolls, some notes on the technique, Hinata's project... and a letter. That was new, actually....

"Hmm," I commented. "Looks like Hinata-sama left me a note. Mind if I take a look?"

"Go ahead," he answered, his eyes jumping across the room as I walked over to the desk and picked up the letter. He eventually settled on staring at the jar that held Hinata's latest project as I skimmed what she had written to me. It was mostly a status update on her work; I could afford to go back and read that later, but Hinata tended to mix in other details and I needed to know if I had to go and torture or break anyone before I went to sleep.

"Hey, Sensei," Naruto interjected after a moment. "What's this?"

I looked up from the letter to see Naruto staring at the jar and the surrounding seal arrays that made up Hinata's work. Oh, I had assisted quite a bit, but the idea and the majority of the work were hers.

The project itself wasn't that impressive to uninformed eyes; just a large array of seals spread on a scroll, with a jar containing what appeared to be a malformed eyeball suspended in fluid at the center of the array. Of course, its purpose was truly ingenious... if we could ever get it to work.

"Well," I explained, "that's a project of Hinata-sama's. It's possible to make a kage bunshin of part of the body, instead of the whole. The jar and seals are designed to hold the construct stable and feed it chakra while we iron out the details so that she doesn't have to form it all at once or maintain it on her own."

Naruto blinked, leaning closer to the jar. "Why would you want to do that?"

I smiled, remembering when Hinata had visited me in tears, worrying about whether or not she'd ever be a valuable part of her clan after she'd lost a sparring match against her younger sister. I'd comforted her and told her that while Jyuuken was a powerful style, skill with it was hardly the only way to achieve that goal... and while I couldn't help her with her family's skills, I could help her with other things.

"The Hyuuga family has a powerful kekkei genkai called the byakugan," I began, "and its abilities center around the eyes. They also practice a fighting style designed to exploit the powers of their eyes. As such, every Hyuuga fears losing theirs. In theory it would be possible to transplant an eye from another, but a transplant from a non-Hyuuga would mean that they'd lose many of their special abilities, and the Hyuugas have gone to great lengths to prevent others from gaining the secrets of their bloodline, notably including the practice of using a seal that destroys the byakugan after death. Because of that, it's pretty much impossible to replace their eyes if anything happens to them."

"So you're going to teach them to replace their eyes with kage bunshin?" he asked.

"Nah," I replied. "That would cripple their ability to use their chakra. Actually making the eyeball bunshin is only the first half of the project. I'm skilled enough to do it already, but there's no point in me doing it; I don't have the byakugan, after all. The real genius was in her work in designing a device to gradually feed the bunshin real nutrients in such a way that, over time, they'll fill in the chakra structure of the eyeball, replacing the cells formed of pure chakra with real, living cells. We eventually hope that the Hyuugas will never have to fear being blinded again."

Naruto blinked. "That's so cool," he shouted, jumping slightly... which he quickly realized was a mistake when his hand hit the scroll, causing it to slip. That wouldn't have been much of a problem except for the fact that the jar not only didn't move with the scroll, but actually started to turn over.

I was there in an instant, Hinata's letter lying haphazardly on the desk as I rushed to save the jar. It had, after all, taken almost twenty hours to make, and the materials had cost a small fortune. Fortunately, I managed to catch it. Unfortunately, the sudden motion (and sudden stop) was enough to disrupt the chakra-construct centered in it. While the jar itself was fine the growth medium would need to be flushed and replaced thanks to the resultant sudden surge of chakra, and that stuff... was neither cheap nor easy to make.

In total, I estimated the monetary damage at slightly more than Naruto's monthly rent, a fact which would likely mortify him.

"Well," I said, schooling my expression, "It's a good thing I managed to catch it in time."

Naruto just stood there, looking sheepish. "Sorry," he apologized.

I shrugged. "Don't worry about it," I told him. "The seals are fine, and the loss of an imperfect eyeball won't set Hinata-sama's work back by much -- a few minutes at most at this stage. Replacing the jar would be a problem, but it's okay, so it's not that big of a deal. Just... be careful. Some of the stuff I have is pretty valuable; that's one of the reasons for the traps."

Naruto broke into a relieved grin as he scratched the back of his head. "This Hinata you keep mentioning..."

I smiled. "She was one of your classmates, actually," I replied. "She's also the closest thing I have to a daughter. One of the running jokes between her father and me is that I'd be more than willing to adopt her if her family didn't want her."

"You're friends with her family?"

I shook my head. "We're political allies," I explained. "I don't like her father that much on a personal level, but he's powerful, influential, and owes me a rather large favor for saving his brother's life, not to mention the various other favors I've done for his family over the years."

Naruto blinked.

"If you become Hokage," I continued, "you'll have to deal with a lot of people who you don't really like, but that you can't afford to offend."

"Like Sasuke?" he questioningly interjected.

I laughed at that. "Yes," I replied. "Like Sasuke-kun, although I think you'll like him a bit more if I can manage to get that stick out of his posterior."

Naruto blinked again. "You mean that all this time..." He paused for a moment. "No wonder he's such a jerk. That must be really painful."

I nearly dropped the jar as my laughter overtook me.

-----------

A few minutes later Naruto was somewhat confused by my explanation. In all honesty I didn't blame him; Freudian psychology had been discredited millennia before, after all, and few in this era had even heard of it. If it wasn't for a few persistent metaphors, it would be totally forgotten by everyone except for me... and I was a special case. Accordingly, going into the historical origin of the expression probably wasn't the best way to explain what I meant.

Regardless, Naruto did understand that it was just an expression, and we left the lab to continue on our way to my living quarters. I'd have to go back and clean up later and replacing the growth medium would be a priority, not to mention that I needed to properly read Hinata's letter.

We continued on to my quarters, eventually making a second stop when Naruto expressed interest in a storeroom.

"Weird magical artifacts?" he asked after I explained what I kept there.

I shrugged. "I'm Konoha's foremost authority on magic," I stated. "I've been looking for anything to do with the subject ever since I was summoned here. At first it was in the hope that I could find a way home, but... well, my reasons have changed somewhat. Anyway, some of the things I have come across are a bit... strange, and this is where I keep some of them." I paused for a moment. "Would you like to take a look?"

Naruto eagerly nodded for a few seconds before he suddenly stopped and turned towards me. "You said that you're Konoha's foremost authority on magic?"

I just nodded with an amused smile on my face.

"Can you do anything neat, like turning someone into a pig, or..."

I sighed. "By and large magic is a lost art," I told him, inwardly yet again damning the Divine Emperor's idocy. "I'm known throughout the world as an expert on the subject because I can actually use it... and I know a grand total of four spells."

In other words I had the capacity but not the training. What little I knew was pieced together from old books, journals, and research notes, and none of them included anything like a basic primer or an explanation of what most of the terms they used meant. While I knew more about magic than just about anyone, that really wasn't saying much.

Naruto blinked at that. "Really? What are they?"

I smiled and began the incantation for the only one of my spells that was really suited for a demonstration under these circumstances. The incantation, however, was nearly thirty seconds long and the spell just generated a small ball of light which required a bit of concentration to maintain. I could do far better with chakra.

"In the old days," I said, as the ball hovered over my shoulder, "they used to use this spell to test for the ability to use magic. I found a copy of the directions for it in an old journal."

The directions had been laced with sarcastic comments; the Immortal Sage had been extremely frustrated with people's tendency to mess up the incantation when he'd written that entry. Still, his journals were my best window into the past, and my best source of information on the topic, which was why I was constantly on the lookout for the remaining volumes. Most people believed that the Bandit Slayer and I were rivals in that search, which helped to explain why we were frequently sighted in the same areas, but the truth was... well, a bit more simple.

Naruto looked disappointed at the results of the spell so I dismissed the light. "I also know a spell to turn a parrot into an aardvark, and two... others... which are not really suited for demonstration purposes. For the most part I stick with ninjutsu." I smiled. "Many people believe that I know more than I actually do," I explained. "The reputation can be useful, and I'd be glad to teach you, but I wanted you to know my actual limits." Naruto was... well, Naruto, after all. "For the most part, I just stick with identifying and collecting magical items." I chuckled at that. "In all honesty I'm surprised that I've managed to accumulate as many as I have; they're pretty rare." I just wished that more of them were actually useful. "Anyway, would you like to take a look in the room?"

"Sure," Naruto eagerly confirmed.

I grinned and opened the door, only to be latched onto by a winged plant. "There, there," I comforted, stroking its leaves. "That stupid pork chop hasn't been bothering you again, has he?"

I frowned. You'd think that a pork chop enchanted to stay eternally fresh would be useful, especially since it would heal itself if I cut off a piece, but I wished that it had been enchanted to be eternally clean as well; it really had a potty mouth, and it kept insulting the other magical items in the storeroom... not to mention me whenever I was nearby. I'd have to gag it if it wouldn't shut up, especially since the plants were repeatedly traumatized by its cursing.

Naruto's eyes widened as he stared at the plant. "What's that?" he asked, pointing to the plant that I was busy soothing.

"It's an herb that's not used in cooking much anymore, but I kept it because I might find it useful in a potion someday," I answered. "Besides, she actually likes being trimmed."

She also didn't need sunlight, required a minimum of water and attention, and actually had a degree of intelligence... which meant that I could leave the other plants in her care. I just wished that I had more information on the art of potion-making; the only potion that I had the full recipe for and could make was a cure for acne.

"Well, yeah," he replied, "but why was it doing that?"

"What?" I asked. "You mean flying around? Well, thyme flies, after all..."

Naruto just blinked.

"Honestly, I think that most of these were failed magical experiments, but like I said, they could be useful. Besides, magical items often take after old jokes, sayings, and the occasional spelling or pronunciation error, something that the Immortal Sage liked to comment on; he called it the 'Power of the Pun'. Basically, if you don't cast a spell correctly, or aren't careful enough in designing the magic, the results tend to take on more than one meaning of the intended result or work out so that they fulfil both the stated and the intended results. I think that a number of the items I've accumulated are the results of that sort of thing, but that doesn't mean that they couldn't be useful someday."

Still stroking the plant, I opened the door. "Take Thyme-chan for instance," I said, still petting my pet sub-shrub. "I might not have any potion recipies that require her leaves, but Thyme-chan is a marvel when it comes to taking care of her fellow plants."

I grinned. "Of course, not all of them are like that," I continued, pointing to a cardboard box with a pair of eyeholes cut into it. "Like that box -- if someone opens it and hides under it, it generates something called a 'someone else's problem' field as long as it's not moving. Basically, as long as no one actually sees it moving, they'll dismiss it as unimportant."

Naruto blinked. "That would have been so useful in my pranks," he amazedly commented.

"Yeah," I replied, "but the enchantment only works if there's someone in it. Otherwise, it's just a cardboard box. Can you imagine trying to carry something like that around all the time?"

Naruto shrugged. "Couldn't you just seal it into a scroll or something?"

I smiled. "That would be a good idea, but doing that with a magical item is... tricky. To be honest, it's an ability that I don't have. There's also something called 'subspace' that many magic users used to be able to use for storage, but I haven't been able to find instructions for that."

Naruto nodded in understanding. "So you can't use it," he stated. "Why don't you give the box to someone who can?"

I shook my head. "I know a few people who probably could, but I wouldn't really trust any of them with something like that." I shuddered to think at what Jiraiya, just to name one person, would do with it. "So it's just sitting here."

"Ah," Naruto told me. "I see."

"Anyway, feel free to take a look around."

Naruto looked into the room, pausing a moment to look at where the toy soldiers were attempting to apply some kind of soft metal to the transforming kendama... and was that a blowtorch? I'd need to rein them in again... and speaking of the transforming kendama, I really hoped that Jiraiya never came across it or found out what it did; that could give him... ideas. Fortunately not as many as the lemonaid would, but still... Naruto continued on, his eyes sweeping past where a pie was reading Icha Icha Paradise and loudly criticizing the author's ability to write, before he shivered a bit.

"No," he said after a moment, "I think I've seen enough..."

I shrugged, petted Thyme-chan one last time, put her pot back on the shelf, and closed the door.

"Magic is weird," Naruto commented after that.

I just nodded in agreement; there really wasn't anything I could say after that show.

-----------

After that incident Naruto was somewhat more reluctant to express interest in the remaining rooms on the way. I supposed that it was what I deserved for using the main corridors; I didn't normally do that for a reason, but I couldn't think of a better way to impress on Naruto that the hallways could be dangerous.

However, he again perked up when I mentioned the primary non-nuclear, non-chemical, non-biological weapons storeroom... or, as I liked to call it, the place where I kept everything but the nukes, poisons, and summoning contracts... and I did technically have a few of those in there.

Well, a few summoning contracts, anyway. I wouldn't keep nukes in my apartment. Oh, and some of the weapons were poisoned, of course... Regardless, it was safe enough for Naruto.

As such I opened the door, knowing that Naruto would get a kick out of this room. I was right in my estimation; Naruto was excited. He was also curious, which I thought was a good thing; it would make teaching him to use my little collection a lot easier.

"Ne, ne, sensei? What are these?" he asked, pointing to a rack of shotguns.

I just smiled and explained the concept. When I was done, however, Naruto seemed confused about something.

"But what kind of name is 'shatogan', anyway?" he inquired after a moment.

I shrugged. "First," I corrected, "it's 'shotgun'. If you need to use a katakana adaptation, it's 'shottogan'. Second, that's originally an English name, and doesn't really sound strange in that language."

Naruto blinked. "English?" he asked.

"Yeah," I replied. "English was one of the most common languages spoken in the late Interregnum. It's also the language that I grew up speaking."

Naruto blinked again. "The Interregnum?"

I shrugged. "You've heard of what most people call the 'Age of Magic', right?"

Naruto looked confused for a moment before his eyes opened widely and he nodded.

"Well," I explained, "it's technically the Second Age of Magic -- it's just that most people have forgotten about the first one. The period between the two is called the Interregnum."

Naruto still looked confused. "But wasn't the Age of Magic a long time ago?"

I shrugged. "It ended about seven thousand years ago," I confirmed.

"And why hasn't anyone mentioned this 'English' thing to me before?"

That I didn't know, but I had an idea. "English isn't spoken much anymore; the only people in Konoha who know it are the people who I've taught, and they mostly use it as a code for secure communications."

I also wasn't stupid enough to teach them the written language. That would have been... bad, considering just which ancient documents were written in that language. I had thought about doing that, to be honest, before the Kyuubi attack, and even made a promise to Minato on the subject, but... that wouldn't be an issue, as much as I had wished otherwise.

No, trusting Konoha with that knowledge was right out.

Naruto, however, blinked. "But... if that's... just where are you from, anyway?"

I sighed. "That's a... pretty complex question," I confessed. "The short answer is that I'm from a country called 'America'."

"And just where is this 'America'?"

"Well, America was one of the largest and most powerful countries in the world before the Great Cataclysm. When that happened the Silver Queen only managed to shield a single city; everyone else in the world died. The inhabitants of that city slept for a while, but eventually started to rebuild under the Silver Queen's leadership." I sighed. "As things happened, however, the city that was saved was part of a country called 'Japan'. America was totally destroyed."

Naruto's eyes widened at that. "But didn't the Silver Queen live a really, really long time ago?" he interjected.

I smirked and waited for Naruto to connect the dots. "Of course. She vanished around eight thousand years ago."

Naruto paused. "But how's that possible? You're over ten thousand years old?"

I shook my head. "I was summoned here, remember?"

"So you're from the past or something?"

I chuckled. "Or something," I replied. "Technically, I'm from another world."

Naruto's eyes might as well have been the size of dinner plates. "Another world?" he asked.

"Yes," I said, smiling gently as I looked at my best friend's son. "Tell me, have you ever wondered how things would have happened had something been different? For instance, how you would have grown up had the Kyuubi never attacked, or had one of your parents survived?"

Naruto looked confused. "Why?"

I shrugged. "Imagine a mirror standing next to the world. There's a reflection, but everything in it is slightly different. Perhaps someone else was chosen to keep the fox locked up, perhaps Danzou suffered a fatal heart attack when you were a baby... something like that. Now imagine that reflection as another world, alongside this one. There are an infinite number of such worlds, and somewhere, there's a world where almost anything you can imagine happening actually did happen. Now imagine someone bringing something from one of those worlds to this one. That's the short version of what happened to me."

Naruto blinked. "So in your world, America is still around?"

I shook my head. "In my world the Great Cataclysm never happened. It still might, of course, or something like it, but there won't be a Silver Queen to save us if it does. The worlds I told you to think about were mirrors of Konoha... my world was a mirror of the late Interregnum. For most intents and purposes I grew up during that period."

"Most?"

"There were some differences," I confessed, "and I was... changed... when I was summoned. That wouldn't have happened if I'd simply been summoned from the past. I didn't always have green hair and red eyes, after all."

Again, Naruto's eyes widened.

I chuckled. "You have no idea how frightening that was... looking into a mirror and seeing a face that I couldn't recognise. My facial features had changed, my physique was completely different... I panicked, to be honest... I nearly broke down. Your father managed to get through to me and to get me to calm down."

Put plainly he'd slapped me and told me in no uncertain terms that it didn't matter what I looked like -- that it didn't change who I was. After that, Minato had been sympathetic and understanding, but the shock had been enough to break through my panic. It had been one of only three times that he had struck me... and I only regretted the last of them.

"That was the start of your friendship?" Naruto asked.

"It was part of it," I admitted. "He was one of the shinobi who came to investigate the disturbance that my arrival caused. He was the one who carried me to the hospital while I was unconscious. I was bedridden for a while and he was a frequent visitor. I didn't get to see my face in the mirror for several days."

"Oh," Naruto whispered.

"You remind me of him," I told my student. "You are a lot like him..." I chuckled. "The physical resemblance alone is uncanny. If you ignore the whisker marks, you look almost exactly like he did at your age."

"You knew him for..."

I shook my head. "Photos," I replied. "I didn't meet him until he was an adult, but that doesn't mean that I never saw pictures."

"Oh."

There were a few moments of awkward silence following that. Eventually, I decided to break the ice. "Anyway, is there anything else you want to know about?"

Naruto's eyes lit up as he pointed to another item on the shelves. "Ne, ne, what's that?" he asked.

I followed his finger with my eyes, and smirked as I recognised the object in question. "Have you ever really wanted something, only to get it and find out that it wasn't really all you expected?" I inquired.

Naruto tilted his head to one side as his face exaggeratedly scrunched up in thought. "Not really," he responded after a few seconds.

"Well," I continued, "it's a fairly normal experience for most people... anyway, that's the proof that it's happened to me. I really wanted one of those for a long time, and went through a lot of trouble to get one, but it's not as useful as I thought it would be. Anyway, it's called a 'BFG 9000'."

Honestly, it couldn't do anything that a nuke or a liter bottle of sarin couldn't do better, and it lacked the tactical flexibility of my C4 bunshin. Its splash damage made it impractical for an urban environment, and its rate of fire was ridiculously slow. Even its intimidation factor was shot since it didn't have the sort of reputation in this world that it did back home. Still, though...

"Hmm," I said, lost in thought. "Actually, it might be rather useful for you... the main reason I don't use it myself is that it can't do anything that I don't have better means to accomplish, and it's actually rather cool... not to mention what you could do if you combined it with kage bunshin..."

Naruto gave me a strange look. "What do you mean by that?" he inquired.

I smiled. "Create a kage bunshin, would you?"

Naruto proceeded to do so, still looking at me strangely.

"Now take out a kunai."

The real Naruto proceeded to follow my instruction, while the clone just stood there. I sighed; this use of kage bunshin had been described on the scroll.

"Both of you," I corrected.

Still looking confused the clone also took out a weapon.

"Kage bunshin no jutsu creates duplicates of your weapons," I explained, "as long as they're not sealed into anything. One BFG 9000 might be somewhat underpowered, but a few hundred of them? That's another story." My grin deepened. "Besides, it also looks really cool."

Naruto nodded in understanding as he dismissed his clone. "You can't make that many kage bunshin, so you can't take advantage of that trick," he elaborated.

I grinned. "Exactly," I confirmed. "I'll get you a pair of gloves like mine sometime; they're really useful. It'd probably be for the best if you don't take this out of the armory until then, though -- we don't want anyone to steal it, and it's big enough that hiding it normally could be a problem."

Naruto blinked. "Gloves?"

"Yeah," I replied. "They make it really easy to store weapons." To demonstrate I quickly unsealed the shotgun I kept in my glove and resealed it again. "All you have to do to store something is to hold it and focus a bit of chakra into the glove in a certain way. To get it out again, all you have to do is to put your hand into the same position and focus a bit more chakra in the same way."

"Coool," he exclaimed.

"Of course," I continued, "they're not without limitations. You can only store one weapon per glove, and they can't store any weapon that stores or uses chakra or magic. They also take a bit of getting used to."

Naruto just smiled and nodded.

"They have a few other features," I finished. "I use a lot of summoning jutsu and they usually require a blood tribute, so I included a medical jutsu that accelerates the healing of shallow cuts to the palm of the hand or to the fingers, and there's a layer of chakra-based armor in them, too."

Admittedly, that was about the limit of my skills at medical ninjutsu, but it was still pretty useful when I summoned things. I didn't have Naruto's regeneration abilities, after all.

"Anyway," I admitted, "I won't be able to make another pair for a few days. It takes a lot of chakra to do that, and I recently used a kinjutsu that will impair my chakra recovery for a while. When I'm back to normal I'll get to work on them."

Naruto stopped looking at my gloves as his gaze snapped up to meet mine. "You make these?" he asked.

I smiled warmly towards the boy who I thought of as the closest thing I had to a son. "Yeah. They're my own design. If you'd like I'll teach you how they're made sometime."

The actual design of those gloves was one of my more closely-guarded secrets, but Naruto was, well... Naruto. Besides, he might be able to gain an advantage from the knowledge after I was gone. Given the level of interest that had been expressed in the things over the years, demand completely overwhelmed supply... especially considering that there were currently only two pairs of the things in existence. Hiashi had been utterly gobsmacked when I gave Hinata the other pair as a present to commemorate her graduation from the Academy, but, well, that's what I had made them for. The only reason I hadn't already made a pair for Naruto was that I didn't know what size to make them. Well, that and the fact that my fashion sense wasn't all that good. I'd have to ask Sakura to help me figure out what color to make them so that they didn't clash... too much... with Naruto's usual outfit. I'd take him shopping for clothes, but his orange jumpsuits actually served a purpose within my plans. I'd have to spend a good amount of time retraining my agent in Akatsuki if Naruto changed his... err... fashion sense.

I was brought out of my thoughts by the sight of tears forming in Naruto's eyes. I was momentarily confused as to what I'd said to provoke that sort of reaction until I noticed that he was smiling. Inwardly sighing in relief I decided to change the subject. "I was serious when I said that I tried to adopt you, you know," I commented. "What I didn't tell you was that the legal side of things was, as far as I was concerned, largely a formality." Smiling and putting a hand on his shoulder, I continued, "You were really cute as a baby, you know."

Naruto blinked as several tears fell down his cheeks. "Sensei," he whispered, latching on to me.

I had never been the most physical of people, but this wasn't a situation where I could tolerate any ambiguity. I did the only thing I really could and returned his embrace.

After a few moments he let go with a sniffle and asked me another question. "Recca-sensei... did you know my mother?"

I sighed. "Yeah," I admitted, letting some of my sadness at the memory leak into my voice. "I wasn't nearly as close to her as I was to your father, but I did know her."

"Could... could you tell me about her?"

My face flashed briefly towards yet another sad smile. "I suppose," I replied. "I'm not the best person to tell you... I wasn't nearly as close to her as others... but if they haven't told you about her yet..."

Naruto just shook his head.

"I see," I whispered. The Third had told me as much, but I found it hard to believe that he wouldn't. "Not even an offhand comment? Not even an idle comparison?"

Naruto shook his head again.

Call it what you will but even though that was what I had expected, the answer horrified me. I supposed that after finding out that my information had been incorrect in regards to his encounter with Yamaguchi Shingo, I had hoped that it would have at least been incomplete in regards to his knowledge of his parents. I closed my eyes and fought down a lump in my throat.

After a moment I visibly shook myself out of my thoughts. "Just give me a bit to get my thoughts together," I told him. "I'll tell you what I can when we get up to my room, okay?"

Naruto's face opened into another smile as he nodded in confirmation. "Of course, Recca-sensei," he replied.

"For now, feel free to look around and ask me what anything is. Very little of the stuff in here is what most people would call 'normal'."

"Not even the kunai?" he asked, pointing to one of my focal kunai.

I chuckled. "No," I answered, "especially not the kunai. I know that those kunai look normal, but they're actually a byproduct of my research into hiraishin."

Naruto blinked. "My father's technique?" he asked.

"Yeah," I confirmed. "I don't know anyone who knows how it worked, so I tried to recreate it, hoping that it would give me a way to teach you."

Naruto's eyes momentarily widened.

I just chuckled. "None of my efforts panned out, of course -- I never could get anything I tried to work. Still, I did develop a few useful things based on my efforts."

"Like those kunai?"

I grinned. "Yep. Like those kunai. They're from when I thought that your father might be using a variant of kuchiyose no jutsu to summon himself to the markers he left. I didn't manage to create anything that could be used as a 'target' to summon myself to, but I did manage to make something that I could use as a focus of sorts for other types of summoning."

Naruto blinked and scratched his head. "Umm," he said, "I don't really get it..."

I shrugged. "Well, when you use kuchiyose no jutsu, the last step is normally to slam your hand down on the ground. Whatever you summoned will appear beneath your hand. So, for instance, if I was to summon a giant frog that way I'd wind up on top of it. Do you understand me so far?"

"Yes."

"Well, those kunai act as a substitute of sorts. If I use one I can summon something to where the kunai is, instead of where I am."

Naruto's eyes lit up in comprehension. "Oh. I see," he replied.

"Admittedly, it costs a bit more chakra to summon that way, but it can be useful." I grinned and pointed to another rack of kunai next to them. "See those?" I asked.

"Yeah," he answered. "What do they do?"

"They're basically the same sort of thing," I explained, "only the 'focus' they produce is offset slightly."

Seeing that he didn't understand, I again decided to clarify. "If I use one of them, whatever I summon won't appear at the kunai -- it'll appear about ten meters above the kunai."

Naruto blinked. "So you summon something and drop it on your enemies?" he asked.

I shrugged. "That's the idea," I admitted. "It uses a bit more chakra, though -- I can't summon Gojira-sama with them, but Gamera is usually enough."

"Gojira-sama? Gamera?"

"Many ninja have their own personal summons," I answered. "Those are two of mine."

"Ne, ne, do you think I'll get some of my own?"

I smiled at him. "I'd offer to let you sign my contract, but I think it's best if you were to sign your father's."

Naruto gave me a rather strange look. "Contract? My father's?"

"When you first learn to summon living things, the first step is signing or making a summoning contract. I made mine but most people just sign one that someone else made. The problem is that you can only sign one and there can only be one contract for a specific class of beings."

"Ah," Naruto replied, obviously feigning comprehension. "I see."

I sighed. "Naruto-kun," I chided, "if you don't understand something, feel free to tell me. I won't think you're stupid or anything. To give you an example, an old pervert I know has a summoning contract for frogs. Because of that, I can't make another contract for frogs. If I were to try to make one I'd fail. Similarly, a famous medic named Tsunade has a contract for slugs and an equally famous pedophile named Orochimaru has a contract for snakes. Because those contracts exist I can't make a contract for slugs or snakes either."

"Frogs? Slugs? Snakes? Why even bother?"

"Well," I replied, "what about a talking slug the size of the Hokage's tower that spits acid, heals practically any injury it takes almost instantly, can break itself into smaller pieces and reform, and probably has a bunch of other powers that I don't know about?"

Naruto went bug-eyed at that.

"I just described Katsuya, the most powerful summon on the slug contract. The most powerful summon for the frog contract is named Gamabunta. He's even larger than Katsuya, can spit oil, and is extremely deadly with a so-called dagger that's longer than this building is tall... and that's without mentioning the fact that he can use suiton ninjutsu. Do I need to continue?"

Naruto shook his head mutely.

"Good." I smiled. "I'm telling you all of this because the choice of which contract to sign is extremely important. It's not impossible to 'un-sign' a contract -- that's technically called 'repudiating' the contract, by the way -- but it's extremely difficult. Most people never bother... and not just because of the difficulty. Your summons often become trusted companions and allies. Many people come to regard them as friends... even as family of a sort."

Naruto's face rapidly shifted through a series of expressions, ending on what I interpreted as dawning realization. "That's why you want me to sign the same contract my father did, isn't it?" he asked. "My father was close to his summons?"

"That's part of it," I confirmed. "Your father regarded them as family and as his most trusted, most loyal allies. After his death they were among the few allies of his who didn't betray him."

"Betray him?"

I sighed again. "Yes," I confirmed. "It's a... complicated matter. It ties in with something that I really should tell Sakura and Sasuke as well, so how about we talk about it tomorrow?"

At Naruto's mute nod I decided to continue with the previous track of the discussion. "Also, your father's summons were both powerful and flexible. My summons are pretty strong, but they're not really suited to anything other than a heavy assault mission. If I were to be attacked in Konoha, for instance, I couldn't summon normally; I'd have to use a minor contract."

"A minor contract?"

"If you have the original contract for a summons," I explained, "you can make a sort of temporary, one-use contract that anyone can summon from. That's called a 'minor contract'. A lot of the normal restrictions on summoning don't apply to minor contracts, but they require more chakra to use and they're strictly one-shot things. After they're used once, they're ruined."

"Ah," Naruto replied.

"See those kunai?" I asked, pointing to another rack. "They're the result of combining a minor contract with my shifted-focus kunai and a few other things. If you focus a bit of chakra and throw them, they'll summon a cow about ten meters above where they hit. They come in two varieties: exploding and non-exploding."

"The kunai?"

"No, the cows."

Seeing the sweatdrop rolling down the back of Naruto's head I burst into laughter.

-----------

After Naruto recovered the next few minutes went by in a blur, with Naruto jumping around like a ferret on speed as he ran from shelf to shelf, asking what each item was. It was fun -- the sort of thing I'd missed while he was growing up. Eventually he exhausted his curiosity and we continued on to my living quarters proper. It didn't really take long; the weapons storeroom was pretty close, for obvious reasons. Of course, the trap density was pretty high since I normally used a back passage to get between the two areas but that passage was pretty heavily poisoned, and I'd never needed to permanently clear a passage to that particular room for Hinata.

Eventually, we reached my living quarters proper. They weren't really anything spectacular, just a central study, two bedrooms, a small kitchen, and either one or two bathrooms depending on what you meant by the word (or two tearai and one furoba to use the proper terms -- the local habit of keeping toilets and bathing facilities in separate rooms hadn't taken me all that long to get used to, even if it did cause some linguistic confusion in my native language).

I'd lived in this building throughout most of my... stay... in Konoha, although I had originally had a much smaller room. After a while I'd purchased the building from its original owner so that I could have more lab space for my work (and so that I'd have to listen to fewer complaints when something went... err... odd... with it). I'd kept on living in that room and taking tenants until shortly after the Kyuubi's attack, when the lack of a second bedroom had become an issue. At the time I hadn't even thought twice about inviting Iruka to stay with me, even if I'd come to regret it later.

Upon entering, Naruto seemed... quite impressed, although I thought that I detected something... off... with his expression. Hesitance? No... Regret? Still not it...

"Naruto-kun?"

"Yes, Recca-sensei?"

"Is something wrong?"

"No," he hesitantly replied. "Just... somehow, this place seems... familiar..."

My eyes widened in shock at that. I hadn't expected this... but... "Kami-sama," I whispered, before switching to a somewhat more normal voice. "You remember?"

Naruto looked at me. "What do you mean?" he asked.

I closed my eyes for a moment. "You lived here for a while," I replied, reopening my eyes and giving my student a sad gaze. "After... what happened, it quickly became apparent that many of the villagers and some of the ninja believed that you were the Kyuubi, not its jailor. The Third Hokage had several people looking out for you and I trusted his judgment, but I insisted in playing a role, so I'd check on you periodically. Every now and then, some idiot would try to kill you." My face turned hard at that. "They'd be... dealt with."

Naruto seemed to have mixed emotions at that revelation.

"Some of your original caretakers were eventually... suborned. I found evidence that at least one of them was deliberately neglecting you. I spoke to the Third about it and he replaced the person responsible. I thought that was the end of it, but..."

"It wasn't, was it?"

I shook my head sadly. "No. There were several more incidents, culminating with an outright assassination attempt shortly after the first anniversary of the attack. I was... angry, to put it mildly."

Put simply, I'd actually gotten into a shouting match with the Hokage and flat-out stated that Naruto would be living with me. Sarutobi hadn't objected.

"After that you stayed here until shortly before your second birthday, when... well, I told you what happened."

Naruto just stared at me for a moment, his eyes betraying his shock as a variety of expressions played across his face faster than I could read or catalogue them. "O... ojisan?" he asked after a moment, his voice choked with emotion.

I froze. He remembered? But... how? After more than ten years I hardly expected him to remember, especially considering how young he'd been. Even a passing sense of familiarity with his old home was shocking, to put it mildly, but this? This was well beyond my expectations. It shouldn't be possible... by everything I knew of human memory processes, it wasn't possible. It was all I could do to nod in confirmation as a response to his question as my thoughts overwhelmed me.

Before I knew it Naruto had latched himself onto me and was saying... something. The impact brought me out of my shock enough for me to return his embrace, but he was speaking too quickly for me to do more than make out a few words here and there. Still, I managed to piece together most of what I needed to know.

Put simply he'd latched onto his memory of me after we were separated and just plain refused to forget. He had refused to believe some of what people had told him when he asked about me (and if I ever found out who had told him that I didn't want him anymore... well, I'd see if I could manage to summon Teletubbies that were anatomically correct) but he still had to wonder what had happened to me. Eventually he'd wondered if the memory was real, but he'd never forgotten.

My eyes were anything but dry when I realized that.

The reason that he hadn't believed them was rather obvious in retrospect: I'd told him not to. He even said as much -- that his clearest memory of me had been of me telling him that he would always have a place in my heart and not to believe anyone who told him otherwise.

It shouldn't have been possible. It was anyway.

Whether it was some strange fluke of psychology, a quirk of Naruto's status as the Kyuubi's jinchuuriki, some power of mine that I wasn't aware of and couldn't control... it didn't matter. I could figure that out later.

In a very real sense, Naruto was home.

Naruto's speech eventually slowed and I extracted myself from his grip. As much as I had been enjoying the moment, we had things to do and a limited amount of time to do them in.

Smiling brightly at the child who was the closest thing I'd had to a son, I spoke up. "Feel free to take a look around," I said. "You should be fine as long as you stay in these rooms; the only traps are in the kitchen. If you have any questions about anything, please ask."

Naruto stared at me.

"I don't know if you remember, but I once told you that you'd always be welcome here. I wasn't lying."

Naruto teared up somewhat and started looking around. I just watched in amusement. I doubted that I'd ever be able to keep up with his sheer energy, but the simple (and fortunate) truth was that I didn't have to. After a few minutes of him looking around and me answering his questions, he decided to start looking at the bookshelves.

"Ne, ne, what are these?" he asked, pointing to one of my journals on technique design.

I smiled. "That specific book is some of my notes from when I was designing the kunai I showed you earlier," I answered. "Most of the books on that shelf are things like that -- my notes on various jutsu, seals, and the like."

Naruto just looked at the book strangely. "Cool," he stated, dragging out the word before he squinted oddly. "What are those symbols on the side?"

"They're the written form of my native language," I replied.

"That 'English' thing?"

"Exactly," I confirmed. "As far as I know I'm the only person in Konoha who knows how to read or write English, so that's what I keep most of my notes in."

Thyme-chan didn't count as a 'person', after all, but she was quite competent at note-taking. She had no creativity whatsoever, but she could transcribe and translate with the best of them... even if anything she wrote tended to come out rather smelly.

"Oh, like a code or something?"

"Or something," I agreed. "If there's anything you're interested in, just ask. I can always translate it into Japanese for you. If you want, I already have an index written out in Japanese," I said, taking one of the books and handing it to Naruto, "so you can feel free to look through that sometime and see if there's anything you'd like to read."

Naruto frowned at that. "Wouldn't that take a really long time?"

I laughed. "I'm a jounin," I answered. "Don't you think that I'd have a way around that? If nothing else, I could have a kage bunshin do it. Those things are really useful for paperwork."

Naruto blinked. "You can do that?"

"Of course," I replied. "Just don't use the jutsu to create ink, or you'll wind up with writing that'll disappear when your bunshin dispels."

Of course the dispelling process when you did that left traces of chakra that were detectable with certain jutsu and even readable by people with certain kekkei genkai. I'd worry about teaching Naruto that trick later -- he wouldn't need it for now, and there were other, better methods available if it became an issue.

Naruto nodded in understanding.

"That's probably not how I'll do it, mind -- Thyme-chan gets bored sometimes, and she loves it when I leave her with something to do other than looking after the other plants."

Naruto seemed somewhat disconcerted at that.

"What?" I inquired. "You thought that Thyme-chan was some sort of bird-brain?"

"More like plant-brain," he retorted.

I burst into laughter again. "As near as I can tell," I replied after I calmed down, "Thyme-chan is the result of some mage trying to create a plant that produced human chakra. I suspect that he even used the chakra of an actual human as one of the components; it's the only explanation I can think of for some of her... quirks."

Naruto stared dumbly.

"She's distinctly female, for one thing," I explained. "For another, she knows a lot of things that a potted plant really shouldn't -- things like what ice cream tastes like. She also has pretty human... err... body language."

"Body language?"

"Well, tendril-language in her case..."

"Riight."

I shrugged. "You get used to it. She was my only real friend for several years, so I got to know her pretty well."

Naruto seemed rather nonplussed as he gave me a thoroughly bewildered look.

"The books that you should really find useful, though," I said, grabbing a few off of various shelves, "are these."

"Ne, ne, what are those?"

I gave my student an evil smirk. "This," I stated, holding up the top book, "is pretty much the definitive text on the theoretical aspects of chakra manipulation. In theory, if you fully understood the contents of this book, you should be able to design a jutsu that will do pretty much anything imaginable."

Naruto's eyes practically bugged out as he stared at the book... and was that drool? After a moment of that, though, he stopped and cocked his head sideways. "Wait," he said. "In theory? Should?"

I grinned. "Yes," I replied. "There are three major limitations that apply. The first is that it only really covers chakra and the manipulation of it. If you want to effect something in a specific way, especially something that's complex, like the human body, you need to understand what you're effecting as well as the tools that you're using to effect it."

Naruto frowned. "Huh?"

"Well," I explained, "say that you wanted to design jutsu to heal injuries. To do that, you'd need to really understand how the body works, and this book doesn't really cover that. Hiroshima no jutsu, to give you another example, was designed based on my understanding of chakra-manipulation, chemistry, and something called 'nuclear fusion'. This book would teach you about chakra, but not about chemistry or fusion."

Naruto nodded.

"The simplest way to explain it is that this book teaches you how things can be done with chakra, but not what you should do. Of course, understanding what can be done is a step in understanding what to do, but it's only one step. It's a powerful tool, but hardly all-powerful."

"Ah," he replied, nodding his head in an exaggerated fashion.

"The second limitation is that knowing how to do something doesn't mean that you can actually do it. I could design a jutsu to let me lift up the Hokage monument and throw it at someone, but I doubt I'd have enough chakra or precise enough control to let me actually perform the technique. This book is hardly a substitute for training."

Naruto continued nodding.

"The third limitation actually ties into the first. Even if you know a way to do something, it doesn't mean that you know the best way. Designing a jutsu is an art form that many experienced ninja never truly master... even ninja who have designed thousands of techniques. This book only gives you the knowledge you need to understand the process and get started on it."

"So why bother?" he asked.

"Because that knowledge is the first step to mastering the art, of course," I replied. "It's also useful when fighting -- it can help you understand how an enemy's techniques work, and that means that you can find weaknesses. One of my most powerful abilities is the fact that I can often analyze my enemies' techniques and understand what they're doing as I'm fighting them. If I can do that, I often know their strategy and how to disrupt it... which is a huge advantage."

Naruto stared at the book with new respect.

"The other neat thing about this book is that it's written for beginners and doesn't presume much by way of prior understanding. I know that you're missing a lot of what the Academy should have taught you, so this should get you more than caught up on the subject. Besides, if you don't understand anything in it you can always ask me -- I could use some help knowing what needs clarification for when I start working on the next edition."

Naruto blinked. "Start working on the next edition?"

I shrugged. "Look on the cover," I instructed, handing him the book.

"Principles of Ninjutsu: Chakra Use and Manipulation, by Umino Ashika, Namikaze Minato, and Hakaishin Recca," he read aloud, before stopping and staring at me.

"Yep," I confirmed. "I helped write it."

Working on that book had been an... interesting effort. Minato had been too busy to write much, but several of the captions and side-bars were his doing, not to mention his work in helping me to clarify and expand several sections. Ashika and I had done the bulk of the actual writing. She had been much better than I was at writing explanations so that the average person could understand them, even if I had been much more knowledgeable on the subject. Considering that the book had been intended for Academy students, her help had been invaluable.

Of course our plans for the book had been pretty thoroughly disrupted when the Third Hokage had restricted it to shinobi and made it illegal for anyone below Chuunin rank to buy a copy. At times I wondered what would have happened if we had published it before the Kyuubi's attack. I'd had the nearly-finished manuscript on my desk for months at that point, and after... what had happened... it had only taken me a few days to ready it for publication. Still, speculation as to what could have been were pretty damned useless when it came to looking after Naruto.

"Ojisan?" Naruto's voice brought me out of my reminiscence.

I shook my head, forcing my mind to the present. "Sorry," I told him. "I got caught up in my thoughts. What was that?"

"Oh," he replied. "I just wanted to know what happened to the others."

I smiled. "I believe that you know Ashika-san's son, Iruka, and as for Namikaze Minato, well..."

Naruto's eyes widened as he made the connection. "The Fourth Hokage," he whispered, looking at the book even more reverently.

My smile widened. "I hope you enjoy it," I told him.

Naruto just continued to stare at the book.

"It won't do you any good if you just stare and don't read it, you know," I teased.

Naruto jumped, visibly started.

"Anyway, we can revisit the other books I grabbed later. For now I think you'd be best served just reading that one, and I'm teaching you some of what's in one of the others," I stated, thinking of the book on the philosophical implications of some of the various beliefs commonly held by shinobi. "You're welcome to take a look at the others whenever you want... but for now, should I tell you about your mother?"

My best friend's son seemed surprised for a moment before nodding eagerly.

"I told you before that I didn't know your mother all that well, and that's true. In all honesty the people closest to her were your father and the Third Hokage."

Naruto's eyes widened. "Old Man Hokage?!"

I nodded in confirmation. "Yeah. I wasn't around at the time, but he apparently saved her life when she was a little girl, and she sort of... latched on to him. She viewed him as an honorary grandfather of sorts."

The affection hadn't exactly been one-way, either -- even discounting the 'little things' like how he'd taken her father's place during her wedding to Minato or some of Minato's stories about them, you'd never know that they weren't related by blood if you watched them interact. To all appearances they'd been like a loving grandfather and granddaughter.

Naruto blinked. "So he's like my great-grandfather or something?" he asked. "Maybe I should start calling him that..."

I chuckled. "It might be amusing," I replied, "but he's not really related to you."

Naruto nodded in comprehension.

"Anyway, her family was once rather prestigious and was easily one of the oldest families in Fire Country, although they'd since fallen on hard times and were neither terribly wealthy nor prestigious when she was born. If it wasn't for the fact that she had several famous ancestors, she would have been a normal girl for all practical intents and purposes."

Naruto seemed interested at that. "Famous ancestors? Like who?"

I grinned. "One of the Nine Guardians, for one. When I said that her family was old, I meant that their lineage dated back to the Interregnum."

"Oh," Naruto answered, stunned at that revelation. I let him stop to process that for a moment before I moved on.

"She reminded me rather strongly of one of her ancestors, actually," I continued, "which was rather ironic, given that she was indirectly named after the ancestor in question."

Naruto frowned. "Indirectly? Ancestor in question?"

I cocked my head sideways. "She was named after a relative who was named after a relative who was named after... well, you get the idea. It was traditional in her family to give her name to their first-born daughter, so there were a lot of people with her name in her family tree, if you understand what I mean. As for what I meant about the 'ancestor in question', I simply meant that the tradition of doing so started with the ancestor who your mother reminded me of -- that her family would name their first born daughters after her. Over time they forgot about their ancestor, but the tradition remained."

"Ah, I see."

"Glad you do. Anyway, the resemblance was... really uncanny. There's a funny story there, actually -- the short version is that I was sipping some tea when your father first introduced me to his girlfriend. When he introduced her as such I spat it all over the room and blurted out her name. It... took a while for them to figure out what had happened and to clear up the misconception on my part."

It had been a shock when I had first met Tomoe Hotaru and, even after I'd gotten to know her somewhat, the resemblance was really creepy at times.

"Anyway, professionally speaking, she was a nurse. She was also a rather popular choice to act as a midwife, and she once told me that was her favorite part of her work -- in her words, while helping the sick recover and helping people get better from injuries was rewarding, it was nothing compared to helping bring a new life into the world." I smiled, thinking about something rather closely related. "In fact, the happiest I'd ever seen her was when she found out that she was pregnant. Your father and I were discussing some of the finer points of fuuinjutsu when we heard a rather loud squeal from upstairs. We started to get up to investigate, only to be interrupted by your mother running through the door and latching onto your father with enough force to send him crashing back into his chair. It actually took us several minutes to find out what was going on because she was so involved in deciding what to name you."

It hadn't taken them long to decide, either. Of course, if Naruto had been a girl he would have been named 'Keika', but... well, that wasn't an issue anymore.

Naruto gave me a strange look. "You liked her, didn't you?"

I chuckled. "Not very many people didn't," I answered. "I'll admit to regarding her with more than a little affection, but not romantically or anything. She was my best friend's wife. She was more of a little sister to me than anything else."

Hotaru had been slightly over seventeen years old when I'd first met her, and I'd been twenty-five when I was summoned. That would have been enough to put her into that category in my mind by itself, but when coupled with the fact that she and Minato were so obviously in love...

Naruto nodded. "I see."

"Anyway, she was practically glowing for weeks. Even after that she'd talk to you while rubbing her belly... and your father told me that he practically had to drag her away from looking at baby things at least once every day. Even when her health started to fail, her first thought was always for you."

Naruto had tears in his eyes at that point. "How... how did she die?"

I looked down, practically staring at my feet. "Your birth was not... easy. There were complications. She could have survived... she should have survived... but with the hospital being flooded with the injured from the fox's attack, the staff was... overworked. Several people who could have survived with more medical attention died simply because there weren't enough medics to treat them."

"My mother..."

"Was one of them, yes," I confirmed, nodding. "A few days later the medic who was responsible for your mother's case killed himself. According to the note that he left it was an apology for letting your mother die..."

I wasn't about to tell him that I had later found out that the medic in question had been a member of Root when it was still an official organization, after all. I had my suspicions, but they were only that. Yamakawa's suicide had rather conveniently cut off all avenues of investigation.

I stared off into space. "Sometimes, I blame myself. If I hadn't been so foolish as to think that I could somehow make a difference in the fight... if I had stayed in the hospital and looked after your mother instead of rushing off in my desperation to try something... anything... to save your father..."

My mini-rant was interrupted by Naruto suddenly grabbing my arm. "Don't think that," he firmly insisted. "I'm sure that you did everything you could." Naruto's voice suddenly slowed. "If anyone should be blamed, it's me."

I looked up harshly. "No," I harshly responded, my voice coarse with emotion. "Your mother wouldn't want you to think that way... and it's not true. Never think that it's your fault."

"Then don't think that way either, ojisan," he retorted.

My eyes widened as I realized just what Naruto had done. "Very clever," I stated. "You're right, of course... and I suppose that I've always known that... but survivor's guilt isn't exactly easy to fight. Thank you."

Naruto smiled and looked up at me. "Just one more question."

"Of course."

Naruto proceeded slowly, fumbling for words. "Do you... did she... would she..."

I smiled. "Do I think that she loved you? Would she be proud of you?"

Naruto just mutely nodded.

"There isn't a doubt in my mind," I answered, before laughing. "Do I think that she loved you? Naruto-kun, there was an incident a couple of months before you were born -- your mother suffered some internal bleeding and it was only luck and quick medical intervention that saved her life. Your father later told me that her first concern was for you, even before her own life, that she had been practically begging the medic who treated her to tell her if her baby would be alright... and that she only allowed him to tell her about her own condition after he reassured her that there would be no adverse effects on you."

Naruto's eyes seemed torn between widening and narrowing as tears began to form. I just hugged him again. Sometimes, there really wasn't anything to say.

-----------

About ten minutes later I had released Naruto and related a few anecdotes about his parents. I hadn't been particularly close to his mother, but even just repeating stories that his father had told me was enough to help satisfy Naruto's curiosity. I hoped that I had managed to paint a reasonably decent portrait of the woman who I had known far too briefly, but who had played such a large role in my life. Unfortunately, everything must come to an end, and we had to move on if I was going to manage to give Naruto a credible version of "the talk" and still get to sleep at a reasonable hour.

With that in mind I brought Naruto over to my desk and pulled my illustrated copy of the Kama Sutra off of the shelf that I unofficially labeled "materials to bribe Jiraiya with". I hoped that Naruto would find it useful and, in one of what I considered one of my more brilliant matchmaking moves, I'd spent a bit of time searching for a copy that featured models who bore a close resemblance to Naruto and Hinata. I'd succeeded quite well, I liked to think, within the boundaries provided by Naruto and Hinata's ages and their... more distinctive physical features (in other words, the byakugan and the marks on Naruto's cheeks).

"Oh, cool," Naruto said from behind me, suddenly redirecting my attention to where he was reaching out to my paperweight. "What's this?"

In all honesty I wasn't exactly sure how to answer his question. It was a crystal or gem of some sort, that was certain, but... well, that wasn't all there was to it. I'd heard in my readings about ancient history that the Divine Emperor had, upon visiting a site near where the Fire/Wave border now was, declared that he sensed something powerful buried beneath the surface and ordered his followers to dig for it. Even after his death the digging had continued, although the rumors had shifted to it being a deeply buried treasure. I had visited the place, hoping to find something; the Divine Emperor and I were originally from the same world, after all, and even if I'd been brought over by a flawed summoning ritual, there was a chance that I would be able to sense whatever had attracted his attention.

I hadn't, of course, but I had found something. On my way to the site I'd tripped over a crystal. I had started to get up, but I'd sensed... something... from it, so I'd decided to keep it until I could figure out what about it had attracted my attention. Over time tests had confirmed that it wasn't an ordinary gemstone, but that was about it. I'd even asked jewelers to help me identify it; while they confirmed that it was a clear gemstone, it was neither quartz nor diamond... and had left them stumped as to just what it was. As none of the angles of investigation I'd tried had produced much, I'd kept it on my desk as an interesting puzzle that I'd revisit from time to time and put it to use as a paperweight.

As I started to form my response, I sensed... whatever it had been... from the stone start to... react somehow. It was very much akin to what I felt from most of the magical items I'd accumulated when they were about to activate, but... different, somehow. Regardless, I didn't want to risk it harming Naruto.

Before I could warn him, however, Naruto's hand made contact with the stone and the feeling... pulsed... as a glowing purple symbol appeared on Naruto's forehead for a moment, looking like almost like a stylized "h".

Right. If I could actually tolerate alcohol in anything approaching reasonable amounts, I'd say that I needed a drink.

I promptly sat down, not even really noticing that there wasn't a chair in the right position; the floor made an acceptable substitute. So, Naruto was not only a descendant of the most powerful of the Nine Guardians, he was also her heir. Well, that and I'd apparently been using the Ginzuishou as a paperweight. Considering that I couldn't actually use it for much, that was perfectly fine. Still... that heritage was supposed to be primarily matrilineal, while family names were almost always passed down patrilineally. In fact, it had been that way for at least three generations on Hotaru's side of the family, and I'd confirmed that neither Minato nor Hotaru had been the heir to any of the Guardians. Well, it had been as part of a demonstration to Hotaru as to what I was going to do in Minato's case, but I'd still conducted the test.

That meant that Naruto had become the heir because someone higher up in the pecking order, so to speak, had died after I had tested his parents. Moreover, had Naruto inherited through the Tomoe line, Shinji was a closer matrilineal descendant than Hotaru was...

Bah. It wasn't important... and it wasn't like I knew all of the rules of the sucession, anyway. For all I knew it was just that Naruto was the first descendant to come into contact with the Silver Queen's favorite rock-ex-machina.

I was brought out of my thoughts by Naruto's eyes staring into mine from barely a foot away as a look of concern graced his face. I promptly shook myself out of my shock and forced myself to focus on the present.

"Sorry," I apologized. "I was just surprised."

Naruto blinked. "Huh? What do you mean? You just collapsed all of a sudden."

I shook my head. "You didn't notice, but your ancestor's crest appeared on your forehead."

Naruto gave me a look of confusion.

"The crystal that you picked up was something of a mystery to me. I just found out what it was in a rather... surprising fashion."

That got him excited again. "Ne, ne, what is it?"

I shrugged. "Oh, not that much -- just the legendary Ginzuishou, the source of the Silver Queen's powers and, according to a comment in the Immortal Sage's diaries, the artifact which created the Bijuu."

Naruto's eyes widened in shock as he took a step back. "You mean... what just happened? Does it have anything to do with..."

As he was rubbing his stomach at the end of his last, incomplete, question, his meaning was rather apparent. "No," I replied. "It has nothing to do with that. I had thought that you were just a descendant of one of the Nine Guardians, but the crystal recognized you as her heir."

"Her heir?! What do you mean?"

I shrugged again. "I mean that you are now the successor to the power and abilities of the most powerful of the Nine Guardians," I explained. "It was something of a shock."

"Oh," he answered, promptly falling to the floor much as I just had.

I frowned as I thought of something. "Unfortunately, we don't have any way for you to access that power. If we could find one of those vibrator-shaped transformation devices we'd have a way, even if it was really embarrassing, but..."

Naruto blinked. "Vibrator-shaped transformation devices? Really embarrassing?"

I gave Naruto another shrug before using a sealless genjutsu to project one of the devices. It was easily recognizable as fake, of course, but it conveyed the image nicely. "That's what I'm talking about," I answered before changing the illusion, "and this is what you'd look like in the uniform the device would put you in whenever you used it to access your heritage."

"Gyah," Naruto replied, pushing himself away from my illusion. I really didn't blame him; as mental images go, that was just wrong.

"I suppose the only thing we can do is try to find something else. For now it doesn't really matter."

Naruto furiously nodded in agreement. The male figure really wasn't meant for an abbreviated seifuku.

Forcing myself to focus on what we had come to my apartment for, I smiled. "Anyway, like I said, we can worry about this later. We came here so that I could explain a few things, after all."

Naruto gave me a dubious nod of the head. "About this 'sexual intercourse' stuff?"

"Yes," I confirmed. "I don't really know how it's handled in Konoha since I didn't grow up here, but where I come from it's customary for a person's same-sex parent..."

I trailed off, seeing that Naruto didn't understand. "Your father if you're a boy, or your mother if you're a girl," I clarified.

"I see."

"Anyway, it's customary for a person's same-sex parent to take them aside and explain certain things to them when they get old enough to understand them. If they're unavailable for any reason, the duty usually falls to an uncle, a grandparent, a caretaker... basically, someone else will stand in for them and take the role of the parent for the purpose of the explanation."

Naruto smiled at me. "That's why you brought me here?"

I acknowledged his question with a nod of my head. "Yes. Sexual intercourse is a large part of the discussion, which we call 'the Talk'. It's something of a coming-of-age ritual, really..."

"Coming-of-age ritual?"

I grinned. "Yes. Like your academy graduation, almost, or your first mission as a ninja -- something that indicates a change in your life. In this case, having received the Talk indicates that your family recognizes you as being old enough to understand certain things."

"I see," Naruto replied before pausing. After a moment, he suddenly frowned. "But..."

I shook my head firmly. "Naruto-kun, there are many types of family and many ways of thinking about it. When I was younger I was told that a person had at least two families over the course of their lives -- the family they were born in, and the family that they make themselves. I regard you as family. In many ways your genin team becomes or should become family." I paused for a moment before coming to a decision. "But... even if you just mean family that's related by blood... you still have a living relative."

Naruto's eyes widened as he took a step back. "Wh... what?"

I sighed. "One of your mother's cousins is still alive," I confirmed.

"But... why?"

"Why didn't he take you in? Because he couldn't. Why haven't you heard about this? Because almost everyone in Konoha thinks that he's dead. I met him when he came to Konoha after he heard about your mother's death. Several people tried to tell him that you... or, to phrase it the way they did, your mother's son, was dead. I spoke to him and told him the truth... but, shortly after that, someone tried to have him killed. We eventually had to fake his death and send him into hiding. As far as I know, I... and you, now that I've told you... so we are the only people to know that story here in Konoha. Not even the Hokage knows it."

Naruto's eyes widened in shock. "But..."

"Why didn't I tell the Hokage? Because there's an old saying -- the only way that two people can keep a secret is if one of them is dead. Events made it apparent that someone very high up in the ranks of Konoha's ninja was trying to have your last living relative killed. I refused to let it happen, even if it meant keeping a secret from the Hokage. I'm going to ask you not to tell anyone about that -- if anyone were to find out that he survived there's a chance that he'd be endangered, and since he's running an orphanage nowadays, chances are that a number of innocent children would be brought into the matter. The only reason I'm telling you this is because I feel you have a right to know, but if you talk about it there's a chance that someone will overhear... and, while I suspect Danzou, I don't know for certain just who was trying to have your cousin murdered." I gave a somewhat morbid chuckle. "It was close enough as things stood; the only reason that I was able to credibly fake his death was that the assassin was trying to make things look like an accident."

Naruto was notably pale at this point. I supposed that I was rubbing it on a bit thickly, but even if there weren't assassins to consider, Shinji really couldn't afford to have attention drawn to him at this point. Running an orphanage, in and of itself, wasn't that big of a deal... but when you considered that almost all of the kids that he was raising had a kekkei genkai of some sort, keeping attention away from his continued existence suddenly became considerably more urgent.

"I'll see about introducing you to him sometime, but... well, it will be tricky, especially since I can't even tell you his name thanks to that thrice-damned promise to Danzou."

Naruto closed his eyes for a moment before smiling. "Well," he said, "at least I'm not really alone..."

I shook my head. "No, you're not. You have the Third Hokage, Iruka-kun, me..."

Naruto's smile just widened. "So this mystery cousin doesn't really matter," he finished. "I'd like to meet him, of course, but my family is here."

Sometimes Naruto really reminded me of Minato. Not knowing what to say, I just smiled proudly at the child who I would have been honored to adopt as my own.

After a moment of that, and a few more minutes spent ensuring that I had successfully conveyed the importance of no one knowing about Shinji's survival, I decided to move on to the Talk proper.

"Now," I began, readying the Kama Sutra, "when a man and a woman love each other very much... or, for that matter, when they're feeling rather horny and want to relieve some tension..."

-----------

Four hours later I finally sat down to try to get the bloodstains out of my floor after I had taken Naruto back to his apartment in something of a daze. Interestingly enough Naruto had already known what sex was, although he was unfamiliar with the term 'sexual intercourse'. Fortunately, I'd rectified that... and he now had a rather large addition of related terms to add to his vocabulary. Really though, it wasn't like I'd gotten too into things... I'd barely spent twenty minutes on fellatio and cunnilingus -- combined! I'd admittedly spent much more time discussing the latter than the former, but that was largely because Naruto hardly needed to learn to perform fellatio -- he just needed to know enough to be able to tell his partner what to do. I'd even glossed over homosexual sexual practices, only briefly describing a few common lesbian practices (and splashing some water into Naruto's face when he passed out with a nosebleed).

My copy of the Kama Sutra was a write-off, although that wasn't entirely Naruto's fault -- I'd noticed several spots where existent wear made it look like someone had thumbed through it and had to clean it off by hand (and not entirely succeeded). My book on how to properly and efficiently solicit a prostitute -- ruined. My human sexual behavior textbook was iffy; I'd need to get a new copy if I couldn't clean the blood off of a few pages. At least the book on various kissing techniques that I'd used as a visual aid was reasonably intact... that section of the Kama Sutra was ridiculously incomplete, after all... but even my book on kinbaku techniques hadn't escaped unscathed!

Oh, well. At least Naruto now had some knowledge that I was fairly certain would be useful to him in the future, and I figured that Hinata would enjoy the results of my efforts as well.

Unfortunately I was brought out of my thoughts by Thyme-chan bringing me a note saying that the emo-duck had managed to get himself hospitalized. Judging by the symptoms it was a Prozac overdose, too... which wouldn't have been possible if he'd actually followed the directions I'd given him.

Oh, well. According to the report there were no signs of kidney damage and Sasuke was expected to make a full recovery, although the reports of his eyes flashing red while he was being treated were somewhat disturbing. I'd have to check it out in the morning.

-----------

And now for something completely different.

-----------

Recca Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, Chapter One

An Appreciation Omake

By Aleh

-----------

Perhaps it had something to do with living in a highly-trapped bedroom, but Recca Potter had always been agile for his age. Recca had an average face, a medium build, green hair, and bright red eyes. He wore frameless glasses held together with a drill mount that his relatives constantly tried to ignore because of all of the times that he summoned replacements from parallel universes. The only thing that Recca really liked about his appearance was the fact that it constantly gave his so-called family fits, especially whe he asked his Aunt Petunia why he looked like that.

"Because you're a freak," she would say, before Recca had... educated her... about the disadvantages of racism.

Don't make racist statements -- that was the first rule for an existant life around Recca.

About once a week, Uncle Vernon looked over his newspaper and shouted that Recca needed a haircut. Vernon must have had more hospitalizations in his medical history than the rest of his cohort group combined, but it made no difference; he wouldn't learn to leave Recca -- or Recca's hair -- alone.

The Dursleys often spoke about Recca like he wasn't there... usually because he wasn't. As soon as he got the chance, he left the house to do what the Dursleys derisively called "Freaky Things". Recca didn't mind, because... well, even he had to admit that most people would consider his methods of winning street tournaments to be a bit strange, but they worked and that's all that his pocketbook cared about, the odd looks he won after he thumped the street-thug of the week over the head with a black pudding aside.

Every so often, however, Recca wouldn't have a black pudding available. Those days, he'd win by redirecting his opponent's momentum with a loud shout of "Head to the Boot!" It was surprisingly effective.

One day, Recca, who couldn't believe the situation, was stuck sitting in the back of the Dursleys' car with Dudley and one of Dudley's more courageous friends, on the way to the zoo for the first time in his life. His aunt and uncle hadn't been able to think of anything else to do with him, but before they'd left, Uncle Vernon had taken Recca aside.

"I'm warning you," he had said, putting his large purple face right up close to Recca's, "I'm warning you right now, boy -- blow anything up, anything at all -- and you'll be..."

He had stopped at that point because he was too busy grabbing his crotch in an attempt to hold down the bruising.

"You should be sure I don't have a pudding on me when you try to threaten me," advised Recca. "Honestly..."

But Uncle Vernon didn't listen to him. He never did.

The problem was, things tended to blow up around Recca and it was no good telling the Dursleys that they deserved to.

Once, Aunt Petunia, tired of Recca coming back from the barber's looking like he hadn't been at all, had taken a pair of kitchen scissors and cut his hair so short he was almost bald. Dudley had laughed himself silly at Recca, but stopped when a loud crashing sound from his room warned him that his entire collection of toys had exploded. The next morning, Recca's hair had looked exactly like it did before Aunt Petunia had sheared it off.

Another time, a group of school bullies had been chasing Recca when, as much to Recca's surprise as anyone else's, they were crushed to death by a falling aircraft carrier. The Dursleys had recieved a very angry letter from the American government about the missiles Recca had stolen from the wreckage.

While he drove, Uncle Vernon complained to Aunt Petunia. He liked to complain about things: people at work, Recca, the council, Recca, the bank, and Recca's collection of HE were just a few of his favorite subjects. This morning, it was motorcycles.

"... roaring along like maniacs, the young hoodlums," he said, as a motorcycle overtook them.

"I had a dream about a motorcycle," said Recca, remembering it fondly. "It blew up."

"MOTORCYCLES DON'T BLOW UP!"

"Of course they do," said Recca. "You just have to pack the fuel tank with C-4."

After arriving at the zoo, Recca had the best morning he'd had in a long time. He was careful to stay away from the zookeepers so that they wouldn't panic while he played with the lions, but the various guests ran and got them anyway. Regardless, Recca made several new friends and the zookeepers extended an invitation for him to come back whenever he wanted after the lions started letting him rub their bellies.

After lunch Recca went to the reptile house. Dudley had apparently been fascinated by a black mamba that was fast asleep until he knocked on the glass.

The snake suddenly opened its eyes and slowly turned to look at Dudley.

"Want me to take down the barrier so you can bite him?" Recca asked.

The snake nodded vigorously.

"Cool. Now where did I put that thermite..."

The snake rapidly started to look less enthusiastic about getting through the glass. "On second thought," it protested after a moment, "I'd rather just say here where it's safe."

"Oh. I'll stop by every now and then in case you change your mind."

After they got home, Aunt Petunia ran off to get Uncle Vernon a large brandy. Recca didn't blame him for needing it.

Recca lay in his dark bedroom much later, unable to sleep. He'd lived with the Dursleys for nearly ten years, even since he'd been a baby and his current incarnation's parents had been murdered by that snake-freak. He could remember being born to a pair of magic-users after a drunken binge had lead him to do something that was probably rather stupid, although he couldn't remember exactly what. Sometimes, when he strained his memory, he came up with a strange image involving the shinigami's sword, the ginzuishou, and a bizarre seal array. It was for the best, he supposed, that he couldn't remember exactly what he had done. He'd probably have to bang his head against the wall for several hours otherwise.

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