Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Behind the Scenes: Naruto ❯ Behind the Behind ( Chapter 9 )

*Author's note: Sorry this took so long I'm going to have to slow down because I'm running out of seasons and some ideas. Don't worry I won't stop just don't expect one everyday from now on.

 

Behind the Behind

 

Cameraman A: I'm the guy they got for doing the action sequences for the Behind the Scenes Naruto show. I gotta tell ya I would much rather go back to Cops than have to put up with…this!

 

Cut Scene:

*Camera shakes a little as the camera man is taking it through the parking lot where all the actress and actor trailers are*

Cameraman: What was that? *hurries off and arrives at Hinata's trailer*

Naruto: *bursts from trailer door* Hide me! Hide me!

Hinata: *arm busts through the door and puts Naruto in a strangle hold* Naruto you son of a bitch!

Cameraman: *Starts running away*

Naruto: *now no longer seen* Bastard! Come back here and save me now goddamit! Gack!

 

Episode 169: Summoning Shit

Cameraman: *Standing nearby with camera aimed at Jariya*

Jairya: *makes hand seals* Summoning no Jutsu! *Gamabunta appears in mid-air right above the cameraman*

Cameraman: Fuck me *Gets crushed*

Crew: Run away! Run away!

Jariya: Gamabunta you definitely need to go on a diet man!

Gamabunta: Huh! *eyes narrow*

 

Action 6 reporter: Action 6 news today where the National Guard had been called in to take out a rampaging giant toad today! We go now to the remaining guard who hasn't been placed in Iraq.

 

*Lone solider standing there smoking a cigarette and holding a rocket launcher*

 

Reporter: Another fine testament to the amazing defense of America. Why don't we go now to the color coded system of alert? Jerry?

Jerry: *is a baby sitting in a chair* Goo! *points to green*

Reporter: There is your tax dollars at work. Now I'm going to switch over to my fellow reporter, Silva Gomez. In the meantime I'm going to go huff glue.

Silva: Thanks reporter guy, this is Silva Gomez on the scene you can be able to hear the monster's screams from here.

Gamabunta: I'm not fat goddammit!

Silva: More as it unfolds.

 

Cameraman A: *sitting in a body cast*

Announcer: Doesn't that hurt?

Cameraman A: Not since I've been getting free frogs for about a month.

 

Cameraman B: *sitting in a chair smoking a cigarette* Yea I'm the unofficial porno cameraman for the show. *takes a drag on the cigarette* I actually now have directors asking for my consultation on their dirty films. But, I don't complain money is money in my book.

 

Cut Scene:

Temari: *tied up moaning and thrashing about*

Shikamaru: Ok we are going to use my neck bind jutsu to massage her body all at once. I want you to keep the camera steady as we do this.

Cameraman B: Yea sure

Shikamaru: *Makes a seal* Neck bind jutsu! *The shadow hand creeps up on Temari's body.*

 

Announcer: *Licking cocaine off a frog's back* Penguins! *Runs away*

Cameraman A: What the hell is he…oh SHIT!

Penguins: *Stampedes over the camera* ORK! ORK! (Or whatever the hell noise penguins make)

 

Shino: *watches penguins* Well you don't see that everyday.

Choji: Yum, penguins *drools*

 

Killing with Akatsuki!

 

Zetsu: Crikey! Today we are hunting the elusive Hilary Duff. This bugger can admit a high pitch noise that could bust your ear drum in a heartbeat. *Australian accent*

Cameraman C: Um, why do you sound like the Crocodile Hunter?

Zetsu: Because, I ate him yesterday and I'm still feeling the effects. Now I'm going to go over there and wrestle her to the ground and eat her!

Cameraman C: Um, why are we hiding in the ferns in the restaurant?

Zetsu: No time for that now go! *Rushes out and tackles Hilary Duff*

Cameraman C: *Jumps out and gets closer*

Zetsu: Crikey this one is lively! *two are tumbling over the floor knocking stuff over and knocking over people and tables*

Hilary Duff: *makes crocodile noises*

 

Zetsu: Now it's time to take her down! *Eats her*

 

~A little while later

 

Cameraman C: You feeling ok?

Zetsu: Oh my gawsh just look at my shoes! I have to go out shopping! *High pitched squealing noise*

Cameraman C: *Clamps ears* SHUT UP GODDAMIT!

 

Akatsuki Leader: This episode was brought to you by the letter F. *Turns to Big Bird* I've done my damn community service now can I leave?

Big Bird: No, you still have to sing the song.

Akatsuki Leader: Aw, fuck it! *makes Hand Seals* Katon Endan!

Akatsuki Leader: *Walks away from studio which is engulfed in flames* Well now that that is done I'm going to go home and have sex with my slave.

Zabuza: *sitting on a bed wearing a leather thong* Hey I gotta make money somehow!