Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Breaking the Habit ❯ Chapter 3: I�m picking me apart again ( Chapter 3 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Title: Breaking the Habit
Author: DeityOfDeath
Archive: Yes please...
Pairings: Naruto/Sasuke, Naruto/Itachi, Naruto/various
Category: Drama, romance, slash, yaoi, Smut, Mpreg
rating: NC-17/R
Spoilers: Most likely.
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Rape, Non-con, Mpreg, Angst SPOILERS!!!!!!
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Naruto or its chars. They are property of major companies.

Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!

The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Breaking the Habit " by Linkin Park.

Breaking the Habit

Chapter 3: I'm picking me apart again

It was nice being home. I felt somewhat normal again. I had left the hospital early last week and avoided the usual morning crowd. I'd come straight home and after an hour or two of cleaning I made a cup of instant ramen and sat quietly on my window ledge and ate it as I watched others move about from here to there in a hurry. I had no urge to go outside or socialize.

I finished my ramen and threw the cup away in my trashcan before grabbing my crutches and hobbling my way into my bedroom. I went through the bag of things that I had carried with me on my mission in Snow Village that had been most likely left here by Kakashi or Iruka. I took out everything and placed all clothing items in the clothes basket to be washed. I set my weapons aside and made sure my bag was empty of everything except for the pair of pajama's I had brought back with me. I left them in there to deal with another day.

I hobbled over to my living room shelf and grabbed my cleaning kit and set about cleaning all of my kunai and other weapons. When I had finished it was dinner time which meant most ninja would be home for the night so I threw on a coat, grabbed my crutches, put on the one shoe I could wear thanks to my foot and ankle being in a cast, grabbed my bucket containing my rag, shampoo and conditioner, soap, a plastic bag to put over my cast and my towel and hobbled my way out of my apartment and down my apartment stairs.

As I made my way towards the public bath house I got a few odd stares from passers by and tried my best to ignore them.

I had made my way inside and set my bucket down on the counter while I fished out the yen needed to bathe in this establishment. The tender took it and watched me as I hobbled my way into the locker room on the men's side. I found an empty locker and made quick work of setting my crutches in the locker along with my clothes before I tied the plastic bag over my cast. I wrapped my towel around my waist and limped into the showering room. I found an empty stool and took a seat after taking off my towel.

I made sure to be very thorough in bathing myself and left no nook or cranny unwashed. I rinsed off and placed my things back into my bucket before making my way to the large public bath. I carefully slid in and propped my leg up on the ledge. The sound of someone rinsing filled the room but that was the only sound. The bathing room was practically empty.

I lay against the edge of the tub and closed my eyes, enjoying the feel of the hot water as it massaged my sore and achy muscles and calmed me. I lost track of time as I lay there with my eyes closed until the soft sound of water rippling and the motion of the moving water woke me from my peaceful meditative state.

I opened my eyes and glanced up just as none other than Uchiha Sasuke slid into the water sitting down a few feet away from me. I looked down quickly trying to pretend I hadn't noticed him.

“So I see the great dobe lives,” his smooth deep voice commented.

I stared down at my hands noting the visible scarring from where the chains had rubbed repeatedly and cut into my wrists.

“I see that you still haven't changed,” I commented idly.

“And what do you mean by that,” he asked a tad annoyed.

“Nothing,” I said monotone.

I slowly pushed myself up and onto the ledge of the bath and scooted back until I had found a bench to help give me leverage so that I could get into a standing position with my back to him. I hobbled over to the hook where my towel hung and quickly snatched it off, wrapping it around my waist tightly. I began hobbling towards the locker room when the sound of water loudly splashing echoed through the room.

I hobbled faster in the hopes of escaping him but that hope was quickly shattered when I felt his hand roughly grab my elbow yanking my forcefully backwards. I lost my footing and fell back against his chest, his arms wrapping around my waist tightly.

“Let go, Sasuke teme!”

“What is this mark on your neck,” he asked taking one hand from around my waist and tracing a sore spot on my neck with a single finger.

I had forgotten. I had forgotten the mark Itachi had given me during those excruciatingly painful minutes. His teeth biting into my flesh while his mouth sucked cruelly on the wound.

I felt the arm around my waist tighten the hand at my neck now on my jaw turning my head to face a pair of shining dark ebony eyes narrowed and reflecting my terrified expression along with lust and something darker, some sort of need and want.

I pushed against his bare chest fighting for leverage and when I could get none I turned completely around in that iron grip and started to frantically rake my fingernails down the smooth pale flesh of his face in a desperate attempt to claw out those frightening black orbs.

My blood pumping, my breath lost, my mouth moving up and down frantically and the only sound is that of my own heart beat.

I felt myself being yanked backwards and out of the arms of my captor and something soft and fluffy was thrown around my body. I felt a firm grip on my arms squeezing just hard enough to make me look up and into the familiar worried brown eyes of Iruka Sensei. I stared at him and watched his mouth move as he spoke, no words came out and then his gentle and warm fingers and firm palms came to rest on my cheeks. Finally the silence ended and the sound of my harsh and choked breathing reached my ears along with the sound of harsh yelling behind me.

I felt my eyes quivering and all too soon I felt the familiar feeling of hot tears coursing down my cheeks and over Iruka Sensei's warm hands.

“It's okay Naruto kun, its okay. You can stop screaming now. You're safe. We'll keep you safe.”

I grabbed at his vest and gripped it tightly, “Please don't let him. Please….”

He pulled me against his chest, his arms rubbing soothingly along my back while I choked back sobs.

“Sasuke, get dressed and get the hell out of here now! I want you to report to Tsunade's office, I'll be there in a few.”

Sasuke's muttering and cursing could be heard though-out the empty bathhouse as he made his way into the locker room.

I felt the presence of another hovering over us and I tensed in Iruka Sensei's arms.

“I suppose this was almost unavoidable,” said Iruka Sensei softly in an almost questioning tone.

I heard a sound of agreement come Kakashi Sensei just as the stress of the situation got to me. I felt my limbs go limp and the last thing I saw was Iruka Sensei's worried face.

I awoke and found myself lying in an unfamiliar bed. I moved to sit up and felt the throbbing pain in my ankle and head. I most likely hurt my ankle trying to get away from Sasuke and my headache was likely a stress headache. I lay back against the pillows and moaned pitifully.

“Oh, you're awake! You had me worried. Kakashi Sensei just got back from his meeting with Tsunade - sama and Sasuke.”

I panicked and sat up quickly ignoring my headache and the pain in my ankle due to it being jostled by my movement.

“Does he know…what happened?”

Iruka Sensei gave a soft sad smile and shook his head “No”.

I let out the breath I had been holding and fell back against the pillows once again, “So what was he told, or what was said?”

“I can answer that,” said Kakashi Sensei as he entered the room.

I looked up into his emotionless expression and nodded.

“Sasuke was a tad bit…flustered at the fact that you had `attacked' him. He demanded to know if anything had happened to you on your mission to which Tsunade - Sama replied, it was none of his business and he was in no position to demand anything and if he had anything further to say to take it up with her,” said Kakashi Sensei from his spot at the end of my current bed.

I was surprised. It was nice that Tsunade hadn't told him but the fact that Sasuke wanted to know after what had happened between us…it left me wondering. There were too many questions to ask and not enough time to ponder each possible answer, answers that would most likely lead only to more questions.

“How are you feeling,” asked Iruka Sensei.

“My ankle is aching and I have a small headache but otherwise I'm okay.”

“Headache's probably from stress and the ankle most likely hurts because you kept trying to run and kick with it to get away from Sasuke. I've got some painkillers in the medicine cabinet, I'll go get you a drink and bring a few.”

I watched as Iruka Sensei left the room leaving just me and Kakashi Sensei in a somewhat awkward silence.

“Can you tell me what happened between you and Sasuke before you went on this mission, or would you prefer to do as Sasuke and keep to yourself,” he asked walking around to the side of the bed and taking a seat the far end of the bed.

I picked at the blanket covering me, “That's a lot to cover.”

He raised his one exposed eye in surprise and I looked down at the piece of blanket in my hands.

“When we fought that day that Sasuke left behind his headband he said some things.”

“Go on.”

Just then Iruka Sensei entered carrying a glass of milk and a small bottle of pills that rattled in his hand as he walked. He handed me the glass and opened the pill bottle pouring exactly two orange pills in the palm of my free hand.

I popped the pills into my mouth and then took a big drink of the milk swallowing the orange painkillers. I took a breath and took another big drink of the walk before handing the empty glass to Iruka Sensei who set it on his dresser, taking a seat in a chair beside the bed on the same side as Kakashi Sensei.

“On the day that Sasuke and I fought in that gorge he said that he wanted and needed strength and power. We all knew he wanted to defeat Itachi, but I don't think anyone knows what Itachi did to obtain the next level of Sharingan except for maybe The Fourth Hokage and Uchiha members long since deceased.”

I took a deep breath, “At that gorge Sasuke said that in order to move to the next level of Sharingan; the pinwheel, he needed to kill his best friend.”

I heard a gasp and turned to look up into Iruka Sensei's shocked expression. I turned to look at Kakashi Sensei who looked surprised but seemed to understand as he nodded.

“That would make that suspected death of Itachi's old friend a confirmed death at Itachi's hands. Many suspected him.”

“Why would Sasuke…,” the question Iruka Sensei was about to ask died on his lips before ever being finished as realization dawned in his eyes which soon changed to a look of sickened shock.

“I had always tried to get through to that dark exterior and when I finally do and he admits that we're friends it's only to say that he's going to kill me. Truthfully I didn't expect to wake up. I remember fighting him to the point where I could no longer move or even open my eyes. I'm not sure if it really happened or if it was a dream but…I felt lips on mine and Sasuke's smell was all around me.”

I looked up at Iruka Sensei blushing and then quickly turned to Kakashi Sensei, “I know it sounds weird, I can't explain it myself. I just…I thought…we're both guys but…”

“It's okay Naruto. It's not unusual, although it isn't highly advertised.”

I nodded and swallowed the lump in my throat, trying hard calm myself down.

“So what happened before your mission,” Kakashi Sensei asked again.

“I had approached Sasuke a week or so after his return and asked him why, why he hadn't killed me. He said that there was no need to. I then asked him about…the kiss. He said it was wishful thinking and said that his hits had done more damage than I thought.”

I looked down at my hands again and squeezed the blanket tightly, “Ikindofkissedhim.”

It got quiet and I looked up to see they're expressions and instead I saw confusion.

“Say one more time and this time a bit slower please,” said Iruka Sensei.

“I kind of kissed him.”

I looked back down at my hands, “He shoved me to the ground and said something but I was too shocked to hear what he said. I managed to avoid him for almost a month and finally I heard a mission had come up so I asked Tsunade if I could go.”

“Sasuke might not have meant to push you away. He's never been good with words, emotions or people for that matter” said Iruka Sensei.

“I'd have to say that that's the understatement of the year,” said Kakashi Sensei giving Iruka Sensei a dry look.

Iruka Sensei crossed his arms and looked down at Kakashi Sensei with a look of disapproval, “That is no way to talk about your student, Kakashi Sensei.”

I watched the two stare at each other and it occurred to me that they were together a lot this past year. They acted like a young couple at times the way that they argued and bickered or more precisely the way that Iruka Sensei nagged and Kakashi Sensei sat and tuned him out or even apologized offering a bashful smile or grin.

There was probably a reason those two were so accepting of what I had said earlier about Sasuke and myself.

“Wari wari…,” Kakashi Sensei said giving an interested look but I could tell by the look in his eyes that he had gotten some enjoyment out of annoying Iruka Sensei.

“So what do you say to spending the night here tonight Naruto,” asked Iruka Sensei.

“Where will you sleep,” I asked.

“I have no problem sleeping on a futon in the living room, so stay and get some rest.”

I nodded, “Okay.”

“Are you staying as well, Kakashi Sensei?”

I watched as Iruka Sensei's cheeks turned a light pink and tried not to smile. He was so obvious.

“Yes, it is my turn to watch about this time. I'll go let the anbu guards outside know so they can go take their break,” said Kakashi Sensei as he left the room.

Iruka Sensei cleared his throat and tried to stand taller, “Well I suppose I should grab some extra pillows and blankets since I have two guests instead of one tonight.”

“Sorry for intruding,” I said with a small smile.

Iruka Sensei looked at me oddly and I could hardly keep from grinning.

“Good night, Naruto.”

“Good night, Iruka Sensei.”

I watched as Iruka Sensei turned out the bedroom light and walked over to the bedroom door. He stepped out into the hallway and closed the door until there was a nice sized crack, allowing the light to illuminate the room just enough so that you could see the window and the bed with me in it from various advantage points out in the hallway.

His footsteps got softer as he walked away leaving me a tad bit insecure. I was in a house with two high class ninja and yet I still felt very insecure. I suppose it can't be helped.

Itachi has become my boogeyman.

Even if Itachi still haunts me I can say that my mind and shoulders feel a tad bit lighter after telling Iruka and Kakashi Sensei everything. I still don't feel comfortable telling Iruka Sensei what happened with Itachi but I'm pretty sure he knows. I'm betting Kakashi Sensei told him and even if he hasn't, Iruka Sensei is probably being kind by not asking.

Kakashi and Iruka Sensei…they seem like such an odd pair and yet…they compliment each other, the always shy and by the book Iruka Sensei and the outlandish and off the wall Kakashi Sensei.

I hope that I can one day find that someone who compliments me.

Suddenly images of Sasuke filled my head. Sasuke smiling, Sasuke frowning, Sasuke angry, Sasuke laying in my arms wounded with needles sticking out of various places in his body, Sasuke grinning, Sasuke with that odd “What the Fck look and Sasuke with those deep and intense eyes he had given me in the bathhouse.

Why, him!? Why did it have to be him?

I remembered Itachi's lips and the places they touched me and I felt oddly attracted to him. I shook my head and closed my eyes tightly, trying to think of anything but those frightening lust filled eyes.

You can't fight feelings, kit

The hauntingly familiar raspy voice of Kyuubi echoed in my head letting me know that she was still present even if we had joined.

“I'm sure as hell going to try.”

Try kit, go ahead and try. He is what we long for, a powerful and dominant male.

“A psychotic homicidal maniac!”

I heard the deep throaty echoing laugh of Kyuubi and then it stopped.

That too is why he is a worthy mate.

“Go away.”

If only I could kit, if only I could. I shall leave you be with your self hating thoughts.

There was quiet and for once I was glad.

To Be Continued…

Sorry, short chapter. Once again I did the write five pages, delete six things. Took me forever to get this done and then I had another laptop scare.

I was iffy about having Kyuubi talk to Naruto because everyone does that in their fics but it kind of seemed incomplete without at least having her make one or two appearances. She might make another appearance or two. I work 4 days straight and 3 of those days are 11 hour shifts so that means plenty of time to finish another chapter.

So please keep reading.

Kat.