Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Broken ❯ Kakashi's Choice ( Chapter 2 )

A/N: I added lemons! They're short, but I figured hey, why not?

 

This chapter of the fic is rated R/NC-17 for the lemons, but if you skip it it's PG-13 at the worst.

 

Warnings and Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. This fic contains angst, attempted suicide, yaoi (Kakashi x Iruka x Kakashi - anal, rimming, etc. - don't like, don't read!), fluff, language, alcohol use, near-death, grown men crying, a masturbation scene (hehe…my first…couldn't help it!), a vicarious lemon (remembered moments).

 

Sorry if the ending to the second lemon is rushed - I was trying to get to bed at a certain time (didn't happen), so I tried to get to the point. Gomen nasai!

 

There are

 

 

before and after the lemon/masturbation parts if ya wanna skip `em! (PS - there's two!)

 

It surprised me how upset people were with Kakashi! Don't be mad at him! I'm here to clear his name and show that he had no other choice. He hurt himself as badly as he hurt Iruka…

 

Broken 2: Kakashi's Choice

 

About three hours before Kakashi broke up with Iruka…

 

“Your relationship with Iruka is a danger to the village. I order you to sever ties with him.”

 

“W-What? Hokage-sama! You can't be serious…”

 

Hatake Kakashi walked slowly to his apartment, remembering the conversation he'd had with the Hokage just a few minutes earlier. The conversation that almost broke him. He knew that he would break later. But not yet. He couldn't - not until he told Iruka that he meant nothing to him.

 

Not until he told that lie. Because Iruka did mean something to him. Not just something. Everything.

 

But he couldn't let him know that. Not anymore.

 

Kakashi stopped a few blocks from his apartment. He suddenly felt weak. He let himself lean against the building to his right, waiting for the dizziness to pass. When he felt like he could continue, he brought his hands up to his face, rubbing them roughly over his exposed eye and the mask that covered his nose and mouth. He was still feeling a little off and was going to lean on the building again, but stopped when he realized where he was.

 

The building was Iruka's apartment.

 

He laughed: a sick, ironic bark. Whenever he felt like he couldn't go on, like life was too much for him, he would come here. He was following patterns of behavior that he would have to stop for good now. He couldn't go to Iruka when he needed comfort anymore. Not after what he was going to do to the Chuunin. He felt sick again at the thought of what he had to do, but didn't allow himself the luxury of resting. He started walking again.

 

He thought about everything the Hokage had said. Tried to find a way to get around it. He couldn't. His orders were to break up with Iruka. He wasn't allowed to tell him the real reason why. The Hokage knew them both well enough to know that if he told Iruka why, the Chuunin was persuasive enough to convince him that they could just hide their relationship. They could pretend to hate each other in public, carrying on their relationship in secret. But that wasn't good enough for the Hokage.

 

If he didn't break up with Iruka, Kakashi would be ordered to kill him. If he refused that order, someone else would be asked to do it. If he couldn't get anyone else to kill the Chuunin, the Hokage would do it himself. And he would make it as painful as he possibly could. Kakashi had no choice.

 

He had to either break up with his lover or let him be killed. He had no other options.

 

The Hokage was convinced that an enemy knew about their relationship and that if they stayed together, Iruka would eventually be used against him. Hokage thought that if someone kidnapped Iruka and told Kakashi that he would be hurt or killed if he didn't cooperate, Kakashi would do whatever they asked. Kakashi couldn't argue. He didn't know what he would do in that situation. He would have to choose between letting his lover die and betraying his village.

 

The choice was simple in his current situation: there was no question of betraying the village or not. No matter what he did, Iruka could no longer be used against him. Either Iruka hated him or Iruka died. A simple choice, really…

 

If Iruka died, there would be no chance for either of them to be happy. If Iruka lived, at least Iruka could find someone else…

 

The thought of Iruka in someone else's arms made his heart constrict painfully in his chest. But the thought of Iruka tortured or dying hurt far worse. There really was only one choice.

 

Kakashi realized he'd stopped walking while thinking about his choices, or lack thereof. He shook his head at himself and looked to see where he was. He laughed when he realized he was still only a block away from Iruka's apartment. He put his head in his hands and shuddered. He slid his hands back, rubbing them over his spiky, silver hair. He was starting to think he couldn't do this. But he knew there was no way out of it. Even if Kakashi himself were to die, Iruka would either kill himself or be killed by the Hokage. His hands clenched in his hair, pulling uncomfortably against his scalp. He shut his eyes tight to keep the tears that threatened to come from spilling out.

 

He sighed, loosened his grip on his hair, and turned to take one last look at Iruka's apartment. The apartment he would never be spending the night in ever again. His visible blue eye watered and he turned back around, facing toward his apartment several blocks away. He started walking again. There was nothing else he could do.

 

When he finally got to his place, it had been an hour since his conversation with the Hokage. He looked at his clock and saw that it was four. In two hours Iruka would come here, not realizing that his lover was about to throw him out and tell him… what would he say? How could he do this? What would convince Iruka that he was serious? How could he look the Chuunin in the eye and tell him that he didn't want him anymore without breaking? Kakashi decided to think about it in the shower.

 

He got undressed and stepped under the steaming water. He winced at the heat, but didn't turn any cold water on. A few minutes later, he started regretting that decision.

 

While washing his hair, he tried to think of how he could harden his heart and convince Iruka that he didn't love him anymore. Had never loved him. The only way he could think of to do that was to insult the Chuunin so much that he ended up hating him. He had to say something to piss Iruka off so much that he couldn't help but believe Kakashi. But what? He tried to picture the Chuunin. Maybe he could think of something about his appearance to insult.

 

 

 

 

He thought about Iruka, dark chocolate hair always in that cute, fluffy ponytail. But he really loved it when it was down so he could bring it to his nose and smell that delicious cinnamon smell. Or bring it to his lips to kiss it gently. Or wrap it around his hand and gently pull his head back, burying himself deep inside the other man…

 

“No!” Kakashi said out loud, trying to dispel the images and regain control of himself. He had to concentrate on the problem. How to get Iruka to hate him. But his cock was standing at attention, unable to resist the thought of Iruka's tight…

 

“Stop!” Kakashi tried again to stop himself. He was panting slightly, the hot water and his arousal making him uncomfortably hot. The sound of his own harsh breathing reminded him of Iruka's deep-throated moans as Kakashi took his cock in his mouth, torturing him with his slow movements and gentle caresses. Kakashi moaned and lightly touched his aching erection. It jumped in his hand and Kakashi couldn't help stroking it, moaning again.

 

He braced himself with one hand on the wall and grasped his cock firmly, moving his hand up and down slowly, not sure if he was torturing or pleasuring himself. He pictured Iruka on all fours, ass in the air, looking over his shoulder and begging with his eyes to be taken.

 

He remembered himself laying on his back, Iruka coming to lay on top of him, nuzzling against his neck. His lips made a scorching, wet trail down his chest, licking and nipping at his abdomen, just to skip his aching cock and balls. He had looked down in confusion to see Iruka between his legs, a finger reaching out tentatively to brush his entrance. Kakashi had sucked in a breath of both surprise and pleasure. No one had ever touched him like that before. He had always been the one on top. But he couldn't refuse Iruka.

 

The man was lightly flicking his finger against Kakashi's ass, circling the virgin hole, a slight pout on his face. Kakashi laughed at the childish look and leaned down to hug the Chuunin tightly. He took a deep breath and said, “I'll try.” The bright smile on Iruka's face made Kakashi's heart soar and all of his doubts disappear.

 

It was Kakashi's first time as bottom and Iruka's first time as top, but it wasn't the last. From then on they alternated, doing whatever was comfortable. Sometimes one of them needed the control of being on top, and sometimes one of them wanted to be filled. Whatever was needed, they did it. Quite often, they took turns being top throughout the day or night. It didn't matter what position they were in or who was taking who. All that mattered was that they were doing it together and that they loved each other.

 

 

 

 

Kakashi couldn't help thinking about their first time together…

 

They had only been hanging out for a week or two when Iruka came up to him one day. Blushing.

 

“What's up, Iruka-sensei?” Kakashi asked with a grin. He was delighted when the dark-skinned little Chuunin just blushed a darker shade of crimson.

 

“Ummm… nothing much, Kakashi-sensei.” The sometimes-shy man replied. Then he took a deep breath. “Wannagooutwithme?” Kakashi thought he heard right, but he wanted to make sure.

 

“What did you say?” He asked gently, not wanting to embarrass the teacher too much. It had the opposite effect.

 

“N-nothing, s-sir.” The Chuunin immediately turned around, giving Kakashi a tantalizing view of that pert little rear before the Jounin finally realized that Iruka had walked away without asking him out.

 

“Shit!” Kakashi cursed silently and tried to think of the best way to approach a skittish dolphin. After a few minutes of thinking about how much he'd like to grab said dolphin's butt, he decided that planning this wouldn't work and he would just have to go with the flow. So he disappeared just to reappear in front of Iruka. Iruka gave a startled gasp before back-pedaling so quickly that he lost his balance. Kakashi automatically reached out to grab the Chuunin around the waist to prevent him from falling. When that threatened his balance, he moved his weight back toward Iruka, accidentally rubbing his erection against… Iruka's?

 

Kakashi knew he was good, but he didn't think he was that good! Elated, he almost forgot that he was dealing with a skittish Chuunin. Said Chuunin reminded him. Forcefully.

 

*SMACK*

 

Kakashi's visible cheek glowed a bright red from the slap. “Nice one, Iruka-sensei!” He told the stunned Chuunin. Iruka somehow managed to blush even more. So cute! “It's all right. I understand. We are in a public place, after all. If you want, we could go to my place and…”

 

He was expecting another slap. He wasn't expecting Iruka to smile brightly before grabbing his hand and all but dragging him toward his house. Kakashi was so surprised that he just followed obediently. Not that there was anyway he would have complained.

 

When they finally reached his house (less than a minute later, despite the distance…), Iruka immediately started reaching for Kakashi to kiss him. “Wait until we're inside, dolphin.” Kakashi impatiently/patiently told Iruka. Iruka turned yet another shade of red. Kakashi wondered if he were breaking some kind of record. He didn't think cherries got that red. The thought of cherries made Kakashi turn to Iruka and ask, “Is this your first time?”

 

Iruka stuttered a bit, but Kakashi was able to gather that yes, this was his first time and no, he didn't think he could wait five more minutes for Kakashi to open the door. Kakashi just stared at the delicious, horny man in front of him and slammed his fist into the door right next to the lock. He reached through the hole he'd made and unlocked the door from the inside before pulling it open and shoving the Chuunin in as fast as he could.

 

He didn't even give Iruka a chance to get his bearings before he was all over him.

 

 

 

 

Kakashi grabbed Iruka by the shoulders, pulling him toward his hungry mouth. He moaned when Iruka obediently parted his lips, allowing Kakashi's tongue to dart in and taste that honeyed crevice. He knew the Chuunin was probably blushing even more now, but he didn't think he could handle being away from that delicious mouth for long enough to get a look.

 

At some point, Iruka put his arms around Kakashi, his nails digging into the Jounin's back as he brought their hips closer to each other. They both stopped their oral explorations long enough to moan loudly at the contact. Hands tightened and mouths opened as they both pushed, cloth-covered erections rubbing. Kakashi's hands drifted down to Iruka's hips, kneading the flesh there and making Iruka's breath come out in little pants. Those delicious little sounds made the Jounin even harder, something he didn't think was possible.

 

He swallowed and took a chance, bringing his hand even farther down Iruka's body to caress the Chuunin's tight little ass. Iruka pushed back against him, trying to get more of the arousing contact. Kakashi obliged, turning the Chuunin around and slowly bringing Iruka's ass toward his cock. “This must be what heaven is like,” he murmured into Iruka's ear when he was finally able to catch a breath. Iruka's cinnamon scented hair tickled his cheek and the man's delicious rear-end rubbed against his straining erection. Both men tightened their muscles, one to entice the other, and one to keep from embarrassing himself.

 

“If you keep that up, Iruka, you won't get a chance to feel what this,” he bumped his cock against the other man's ass, “feels like when it's inside of you.”

 

Iruka nodded vigorously and stopped moving, not wanting to jeopardize later playtime.

 

Kakashi whispered in his ear, “are you sure about this? We can stop if you don't think you're ready.”

 

Iruka didn't even hesitate. “If we don't do it now, we're both gonna burst.” That was good enough for Kakashi. He pulled the Chuunin with him to his bedroom, grabbed a tube of lube and told Iruka to lay down.

 

Iruka did, laying on his back, looking a little nervous. He was still blushing, of course. Kakashi didn't want him to regret this, so he started pulling Iruka's clothes off and quickly took the younger man into his mouth.

 

Iruka grabbed the back of Kakashi's head, pushing himself deeper into the silver-haired man's mouth. Then he pulled back, sighing slightly when his cock was out of the Jounin's mouth.

 

“…?...” Kakashi was confused.

 

“That was delicious, but I don't think I can hold on much longer. And when we come for the first time, I want you to be inside of me.” Iruka explained. Kakashi didn't wait to hear more. He took off his clothes as quickly as he could.

 

They both took a minute to just look at each other, admiring well-toned muscles and wondering about scars. When they had both looked their fill, Kakashi asked, “are you ready for this?” Iruka nodded and flipped onto his stomach.

 

Kakashi swallowed. This was the first time he was able to see Iruka's naked bottom. It looked just as yummy as he thought it would. He couldn't help it. He leaned over the bed and licked and then lightly bit the Chuunin's butt.

 

Iruka moaned, spreading his legs and pushing his ass off of the mattress. Kakashi swallowed and wondered how he could possibly wait until he was inside the Chuunin before coming. But he just shook his head at himself, gave himself a two-second pep talk, and kneeled on the bed, bringing his mouth to Iruka's virgin opening.

 

Kakashi moaned at the taste and at the sound of Iruka's scream of pleasure. He brought his hands up and spread the man wider, allowing himself to lick along the crevice. Iruka stifled a moan somehow, probably by burying his head into Kakashi's pillows. Kakashi smiled and continued his assault, licking and sucking, lightly nipping at the spread cheeks. He finally started working his tongue into the little pucker, loosening it and making Iruka shift restlessly. Kakashi took the hint and started moving a little faster, touching his finger to the entrance and rubbing before coating the tip in lubricant and dipping in.

 

Iruka tensed a little, but soon relaxed, encouraging Kakashi to add another finger, and then another a few minutes later. Finally, Kakashi rubbed a handful of the lubricant on his cock and positioned himself behind Iruka's upraised ass. Iruka nodded when Kakashi paused, which the Jounin took as permission to proceed. He did.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I love you.

 

They had never said the words, but they were always there. Lurking behind looks, gestures, and caresses. How could anyone not love someone like Iruka? So kind, caring, compassionate, cute, loving, sexy, tasty, passionate, delicious, and… Iruka. He was himself and so much more. The one he loved and his only weakness.The words were always there, but they'd never said them. Would never have a chance, now.

 

TBC...

 

A/N: Sorry again for the rush-job on the lemon! I just wanted to update this fic again since it's been so long and all. Please review!