Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Broken ❯ demon introspective ( Chapter 26 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: blackarora 
re-done. beta-fid
i felt like this chapter was lacking so i re- did it.
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Psychological / Hentai / Action | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 06.25.2006 | Updated On: 07.02.2006 | Pages: 6 | Words: 8.1K | Visits: 1.2K | Status: Work In Progress
re-done. beta-fid
i felt like this chapter was lacking so i re- did it.
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Psychological / Hentai / Action | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 06.25.2006 | Updated On: 07.02.2006 | Pages: 6 | Words: 8.1K | Visits: 1.2K | Status: Work In Progress
Ok, I hated this chapter, there was just something off and it was lacking the drive that the last few chapters had. So I went back through and redid a few things.
The plot is still the same, just presented better and if you read the original then you have already read the beginning of the next chapter. Which might not be that last one anymore. I don’t know if I can sum it all up in one last chapter. If I do, prepare for a long one.
Chapter 26
demon introspective
Harsh pants echoed through the still, dimly lit room. Great gouges from the demon’s claws marring the once whole and seal covered walls. There where no windows to interrupt the slashes, and the lone solid door stood at the far wall. The brown wood clashing with the old white paint of the walls and the black ink of the seals that had once covered them were now shredded in to thousands of pieces, strewn about the room haphazardly like confetti.
Iruka sat on the floor with his back to the wall across from the door, the tattered remains of the bed lying pathetically in the corner next to him. Having been destroyed early in to the night by one of the beast’s rages that had decimated the secured room in the sub basement of the hospital. The clawed hand of the blond teen who was using his thigh as a pillow, tightened its grip for a moment and the panting stopped just long enough to let a low, pained whine escape before resuming.
A tired smile graced Irukas face as he slowly caressed the blonde’s head on his thigh, then leaned over to pull a piece of the shredded blanket from the bed, over the curled form pressed against him. Naruto had managed to rip his own shirt to ribbons and the room was annoyingly well air-conditioned. A side effect from being underground and not having anywhere else for the cold air to go. Setting the standard gray wool blanket over the blonde’s bare, scar covered shoulders, the chuunin felt a bite of pain from his hand as he slide the coarse fabric out of his fingers to rest comfortably draped over his pseudo son.
Turning his hand over then looking tiredly at the stinging appendage, he saw the three lines of red across his palm. Kyuubi had scratched him the last time the fox had tried to take over. Iruka had been too preoccupied with trying to keep the enraged demon contained in the room, to notice a small thing like having been scratched in the process.
Now that the beast had calmed down some and was resting the weary body he inhabited, Iruka could feel the throb and sting of a thousand other minor nicks and cuts across his body. The demon’s claws and fangs had
given him a thorough work over and there was hardly a place on his battered body that did not sting or ache.
His Chuunin vest was in no better shape then the mangled bed was, the collar had been ripped clear off and the front side was more a collection of rips than fabric. The blasted fox had managed to throw him across the room a few times in his attempts to get out of the room, and the teacher had been a tad too slow more than once to get out of the way when the boiling red chakra surfaced and tried to tear through the walls to freedom. Kakashi had to advert the demon’s attention more then once in order to save him from a gutting, or from having appendages ribbed off over the course of the night.
To Iruka, though, the worst of his injuries had to be that his eyes were scratchy from the tears he had shed over from sitting with the blond when he was Naruto. Over and over he had to calm the blond, to get him to stop screaming and to hold on to him for one moment, then let go the next because the claws were ripping in to him.
When Naruto had screamed and begged for him to stop, to ‘please just stop, please’, his heart broke and tears fell down the teacher’s face. How Naruto curled up and screamed when touched, only to have the red chakra consume the blond and have Naruto lash out at him once he was able to get near him to comfort him. There were times when all he could do was hold on to the sobbing teen, when Naruto would clutch him and cry out in between sobs to stop cutting, that he would do anything they wanted.
And all the chuunin could do was to hold him as the cry’s and the pleas became weaker and weaker.
The past 30 odd hours had been so emotionally draining that Iruka could not even compare it to anything he had ever been through. Not even after he had woken up in the hospital to find out that Naruto had been taken, even after he had heard the men say over and over that if Naruto killed him they would leave.
Naruto let out a whimper and Iruka softly ran his hand through the golden locks, knowing that it calmed the distraught teen, feeling the way the blond head snuggled against his leg and felt the hand on his knee tighten for just for a second.
Iruka had no idea what Naruto was going through in his own head, or why Kyuubi was doing what he was doing, taking over for a few moments of raging violence then retreating back to the screaming fear of Naruto; only that he would be here for his blond son. He would not leave him to face whatever it was he was facing alone, or with the demon.
The tears and terrors, the pain and whimpers. No matter what, he was not going to let anything happen to Naruto again.
He blamed himself for not being able to stop the men that had started the attack on his almost son. The two bastards that just waltzed into his home and shattered everything he lived for, if he had just been a little stronger, a little faster, a little bit better at ninjutsu, then maybe Naruto would not have been taken that night; would not of had suffered the way he had. The way he still was from the noises he was making when it was him and not the demon that was in charge of the body.
Feeling the soft gold strands flowing through his fingers with each pass, finding the action to be very therapeutic for his conscious. Naruto was back, was safely with him again, but in the turbulent times after the teens abduction, he had wished more then ever that he had continued his training to become a jounin.
Kakashi had told him a thousand times that his place was teaching, that he was doing more for Konoha by enlightening the minds of the future shinobi and instilling the morals that defined them, then he could by
going out on a patrol or by going on a mission to fight the Sound. He wanted to believe him, and in the end, had to, because Tsunade would not change his assignment no mater how much he pleaded and argued.
It had pissed him off, truthfully.
He had wanted to be on one of the teams that were sent in to retrieve Naruto. He had thought that if the blond saw him, then maybe Naruto would be able to, to do something and take back over or get away. It was a foolish wish, he knew, but he still wanted to go, to see Naruto again, to maybe be able to help him get out and redeem himself in his own eyes for being weak and letting Naruto be taken in the first place.
Grunting at the still raw wound that this train of though evoked, he looked up to the unremarkable ceiling of the room, then slid his eyes to the chair that the silver haired jounin was occupying. Reading the porn novel that was always within reach of the man.
Kakashi had shown him the ANBU bingo book that had the two men in it. Listed not for what they did to Naruto, but for the hundred other, similar crimes committed in other countries. They were wanted everywhere and were rated as at least jounin level, although it was suspected that they were more powerful then that. Kakashi had told him a hundred times that it was not his fault for what had happened, for letting Naruto be taken. The silver haired man had also said the even he would have been hard pressed to beat the pair.
That was the only thing that had helped. Iruka knew his lover did not concede that he could be beaten often.
The said jounin looked up from his chair and smiled through the mask he wore when he saw Iruka watching him. Slowly he tucked the latest of Jiraiya’s books in his pouch then stood up, stretched, and put his hand behind his head as a sheepish look crossed his masked face.
"Yo, Iruka, I’ll head off and grab some breakfast and bring something back for you."
The voice was lowered to a whisper so not to disturb the sleeping blond and Iruka loved the husky inflection the whisper gave to his lovers voice.
Looking down to the blond head again to hide his small blush, Iruka quietlythanked him. They had not been together for all that long, committing to a relationship only a few weeks prior to the news of the Sound Village’s collapse and he still felt a tad odd when Kakashi did things for him.
Not odd in a bad way, just unused to it.
Smiling to himself as he remembered the first time he had come home to his new apartment, not being able to stand the old place Naruto had been taken from,find the kitchen cleaned and Kakashi elbow deep in soappy dishwater. The shocked look on the uncovered side of Kakashi’s face and the embarrassed little laugh the man had emitted as he pulled his hands from the sink.
That was the first night they had made love and had been able to see his scarecrow’s face.
Smiling at the fond memory, the teacher leaned back against the wall and gazed up to the ceiling as images of Kakashi’s face floated through his head.
Naruto’s hand suddenly clenched on his knee, claws digging into his tender flesh and a startled yell escaping the teacher’s lips, pulling him out of his pleasant memories of his lover.
Red chakra seeped out of the blond at an alarming rate and a feral cry tore from Naruto’s lips as the blond tensed his entire body. The cry turned to a demonic roar as the hand on Iruka’s knee, dragged along the leg, cutting deep gashes. Iruka had no choice but to grab the hand and pull it away from his flesh before it did serious damage. Only to have the hand keep moving away as Naruto lurched to his feet and shot across the room to stand awkwardly by the solid door, growling at him.
Never before had the red chakra been so visible to the teacher, surging and covering Naruto as he crouched, still glaring at him as he lowered to his haunches, crouching low. The blonde’s eyes were slitted and blood red, sharp fangs protruded from his lips, and the bubbling chakra was forming a tail and ears.
Iruka paused before jumping to his feet to face this version of his son, momentarily unsure, but not letting his fear of the demon get in the way of his love for his son.
"N-Naruto?"
Kyuubi paused, then brought his blood-covered hand to his lips, licking the crimson substance from his fingers. Tasting the sharp copper twang and snorting. It was not his. Not this body’s blood.
He flicked his eyes up to the man that had stayed in the room the entire time he fought the brat’s memories. Growling as the man took a step towards him.
Iruka stopped, then held his arms out in front of himself as non threatening like as possible.
"Naruto, it’s OK, it will be alright. Just calm down."
A growl resonated from the demon’s depths to emerge as a harsh voice, anger tipped for being confused with a weak human.
"I’m not Naruto."
The deep voice despite the natural harshness, was tired, losing its hostile edge with the weariness it portrayed.
The near constant fighting against the emotional surges had drained the fox and he was having a difficult time holding the chakra form around the brat. The summoning jutsu that had allowed him to take control of this form
was slowly giving out and he could feel the hard won control start to slip.
He sent the emotional torrents back into the blue cluster of memories that was all that was left of his host’s psyche. Making sure that they could not get out from the broken remains before he returned his attention outward again to take the body back over.
Only to find that the body he had been fighting for was exhausted and hardly able to stand. He was not much better, the demon was tired and there was a part of him that wanted to curl up and go to sleep inside of his host.
Shoving that tiredness away, Kyuubi forced himself to focus on the problem at hand. He was stuck in a cage again and had declared himself as the demon.
Good, he never wanted to be anybody but himself from here on out.
Let alone a weak miserable human.
He would find way to get out of here, without having to pretend to be Naruto.
He still felt the disastrous consequentses of him raiding his hosts memories. Having been dragged through the brat’s memories and the feelings that went with them. The horrible, painful things that they were.
He had known that it had hurt; he had listened to his blond host’s screaming when it had happened. Now he knew what the cold knife against his flesh felt like right before it stated to cut into him, he knew the terror, pain and humiliation as the two men violated him.
These were things no demon should ever have to feel. No one could rape a demon or make one cower in fear. These things were so totally human and disgusting to him. It was almost grotesque to the beast that he knew what they were, let alone what they felt like.
The surging emotions had pulled him out of his cage and forced him to live through all of it in his host’s stead. No longer was he just the passenger, the annoyed onlooker, he had to go through it as well. Even if it was just through the brat’s memories that were still fresh with the pain Naruto had to endure.
Letting out a tired and shaky breathe, the demon watched as the room blurred around him. This body had been through too much even if it was just the memories of what had happened and could not handle much more. It was tired, so tired of pain and hurting, of not knowing when it would stop. The demon felt as his feet stared to slide out from under himself, this body needed rest and it was going to make him give it some.
Before Kyuubi could crash to the floor, warm arms wrapped around his middle and held him, slowly guiding him to the floor so that he landed in Iruka’s lap and not the cold, unforgiving floor. The teacher gently set the blond
head on his shoulder and continued to hold Kyuubi so that his voice reverberated through his chest as he spoke.
"I know you’re Kyuubi no Youkai."
The voice held a hint of the annoying tears despite being deceptively calm.
Growling and struggling as much as this worn out body could, the demon tried to get off the teacher’s lap, only to be held tighter, he wanted to fight, to get away, but there was nothing left in this body for him to fight with. His chakra had gone to help the wavering teen but the minuscule amount the seal let him take out, was now where near as much as this body needed.
Kyuubi wriggled and squirmed against the arms, trying to get the man to let him go. He was a proud demon, he was a beast, a monster and he hated to be cuddled. Mostly because it meant that he was weak. This body was weak, he wasn’t and it still pissed him off that he could not rip this man to pieces because he gave a damn about him.
It was horrible, this emotional infection he had contracted.
Iruka started to run his hand through Narutos hair, softly massaging his scalp, ignoring the low growl from the beast.
"It’s ok, I’m not going to hurt you, even if you are a demon."
Kyuubi growling tapered off as the fox jerked his head away from the hand, but was still unable to get out of the man’s grip.
"Was it you the whole night?"
Pausing the demon looked at the man’s tear filled eyes and nodded curtly then resumed trying to get away. Maybe now the man would let go of him. The demon could hear the odd defeated sigh before Iruka spoke again.
"Its still ok Kyuubi, calm down, I wont do any thing to you."
Iruka’s hand placed itself on his head and started to run through his host’s blond tresses, making the beast growl again. The teacher gently rubbed the soft skin behind his hosts ear like a masseuse and the fox shuttered from the pleasure he gained from the action.
Giving in, this body was too tired to struggle anymore anyway, the fox let himself be pressed himself against the warmth of the gentle man, feeling the tough material of the vest against his cheek and absentmindedly grabbed on to Iruka’s shirt near the bottom hem, just to keep his claws occupied.
The hand kept up its course of running through his golden mane, soothing him. His eyes going half lidded and the demon shuttered again. Thumbs. If there was anything good about humans it was thumbs. The way Iruka kept his thumb brushing his ear was great. It was almost worth being human to feel it.
The thumb grazed the top of his ear and the beast shifted so that he get the hand to do more than just graze his ear. Pressing his face against the rough material of the tattered vest, the demon sighed as the thumb rubbed his ears back shell.
He could smell Iruka, the veritable reek of the man, from the blood from the thousand nicks and cuts across his flesh to the nervous sweat that had started not to long ago to drip silently down the back of the mans neck and the tears on the man’s face. All of it blended together with his laundry detergent and shampoo that mixed and muddled everything into one smell the beast labeled "Iruka."
Kyuubi still had the disgusting emotions plaguing him, still felt the way this man’s presences made him relax with out thinking about it, because of them. It still annoyed him to no end that he did not want to rip this person apart just for the fun of it.
But he also, on a level of himself that was still new and forming, liked it. The closeness and trust, the familiarity and comfort of the man, he liked it. He liked not having to fight because they would kill him
if they could.
This man, ‘Iruka’, would never do anything to hurt him, no matter what he did to deserve it, had already done to deserve it just for being a demon. He would always be there to hold him and try to make things better, give him a shelter from whatever storm he was going through. It had been this man, always holding on to him when the brats memories and emotions attempted to drown him, that served as an anchor. Holding him down and not letting him get swept away with the memories.
Kyuubi sighed and let the rumble purr that had been threatening to escape, out and curled against Iruka even more. He did not like that the new emotions made him feel, or that he was aware that they were even there, but he did like feeling like this.
Demons did not have fathers; they bred parasitically by matting with whatever species was available at the time of rut. If they wanted to reproduce, they left themselves whole, otherwise they held in the integral ingredients to make a whelp. It did not matter if the creature selected to mated with was male or female, all demons held themselves to the
gender of male and the integral ingredient was not their sperm but the chakra infused in it that rearranged the reproduction organs to handle a demon whelp or made them if none was present.
That was the norm for demons. That was the norm for him as well, there were probably a dozen or so whelps crawling around the countryside that he had sired. Very few if any would live to adult hood and take his
place if he was killed. Again that was the norm for demons.
But he liked this way better.
Iruka was Naruto’s father. He did not sire him, did not mate with a female to birth him, but was, unquestionably, the brat’s father. Kyuubi had seen and lived through everything Naruto had done in his 15-year life, and this man had been a big part of it. Being there for him, helping him, saving him a few times, listening to him and buying him ramen. Naruto felt loved from being around Iruka and now he did too. He felt taken care of and comfortable laying in the man’s arms, having him rub the backside of his ears.
He liked that.
Contentment was one of the few new emotions that he enjoyed and this man let him bask in the new emotion that was not horrible like so many of the others were. Things like Love, that was horrid on principle and fear that was never supposed to be felt by a demon. Demons instilled fear into others, but they never felt it themselves. Now that he had,he understood why humans made that odd screech when he was around.
He understood and it was morally wrong, for him as a demon, to do so.
How could humans stand it? All the different things, actions and interactions that made their heart beat faster and sweat slick their palms. Fear and excitement, anticipation and terror, dread and love, all of them were new to
the demon and he could not see how humans could survive living with all these things plaguing them.
Kyuubi liked it better when there was nothing more than it either felt good, or it didn’t. All the different emotions were an added complexity that he did not want, or need.
Things like fear, which seemed to rule human lives. People got stronger because they feared the harm and death of their loved ones and wanted to protect them. Kyuubi understood protectiveness, what was his was his,
and he would kill any that tried to take it from him. But what did he have to fear?
Death?
Pain and suffering?
Loneliness?
Grabbing tightly to Iruka’s waist he growled over the rumble purr he was still letting out.
He admitted he liked this, this, comfort this man gave him and he admitted that he was still stuck being in love with Sasuke. When he thought of loneliness, the remembered pain of Naruto’s youth came back to him. The inattention and the sight of everyone back to him, of noone being there for him and not caring about him. Not caring whether or not he was happy or hurt, not giving a damn if he was around or not. Only looking at him when he defaced something.
It had never bothered him before, the brat’s loneliness, but now, he could compare it to how it was before he attacked Konoha.
There was no Iruka to rub his ears and to be a anchor for him.
There was no Sasuke to have an nice tight ass for him to fuck, and to amuse him with his antics.
There was no one waiting for him under a tree to see how he was doing.
There was nothing. And the thought of not having Iruka and Sasuke made his chest feel tight.
He had never had any of that stuff before, but now that he did, he did not want to let it go, didn’t want to be lonely again.
Growling fiercely and unintentionally scratching Iruka’s waist, the fox pushed the last part of that thought out of his head. It was gross and detestable, demons did not get lonely.
But then, he might be the first demon to know that loneliness was, or what love was as well.
For Kyuubi was still plagued with the disgusting love for the dark haired teen, only now he knew for sure that it was his. Maybe it had sprouted from Naruto’s, but now, the beast could tell that it had started something that grew inside of him to belong just to him.
He had been forced to go through all of his host’s memories and feelings, to live through them, the good and the bad. The horrors of the Sound, to the feelings with Sasuke on the balcony, the painful terrors, and the heart swelling love had awakened things inside of himself, and now the demon wanted to feel more of the good ones.
No, he wanted his own.
Not the second hand emotions he gleamed from having to go through Narutos. He wanted to feel his own happiness; he wanted to know what it was like to have his heart pound in his chest in anticipation, excitement, joy, happiness and love.
Opening his eyes and lifting his head from the shredded vest that covered Iruka’s chest, he lifted his hand so he could see it and saw the pale human fingers. Spreading them, then making a fist as a lump settled in his stomach.
He was not himself, not his glorious fox form but stuck in the confines of a human body.
The gentle hand that was guiding his head back to the warmth of the shoulder, the comfort and companionship of the man he was sitting pressed against.
All of it was for Naruto.
He had fought through the brat’s emotions and memories, he knew that he was not wanted by any of the people the brat cared for. Or by anybody anywhere. Not even Sasuke.
There was nothing out here for him when he was in control of the blonde’s body, the emotions were not his, the love and sense of belonging did not belong to him, but he still wanted to be here.
No, he wanted to be himself, in this place, to feel what his own emotions and feelings would be. He wanted someone to stroke his ears and hold him, sooth him, love him.
And he would never get it.
The fox hated himself instantly for realizing that he wanted it and he hated himself even more when he realized the lump in his stomach was jealousy for the blond he inhabited.
Him, the most powerful of all the tailed demons, wanted someone to hold and love him and was jealous of Naruto because he already had someone that did. Had several someone’s that did.
Sasuke being one of them, a big one of them.
Closing his eyes again, the fox felt the waves of Naruto’s conscious rise up to meet him. The brat was reforming himself; the blue shards of memories putting themselves back together to form a vaguely human form. This man’s forgiveness letting Naruto move past all that had shattered him. The group that was waiting for him under the tree in the hospital garden let him know that he was not alone, that he was wanted. Sasuke had faced the demon, him, in an attempt to bring him out of the shell he had crawled in to, and would do anything to bring him back.
Because they loved him, as friends, as fathers, as lovers and mostly, for himself.
Naruto was not yet a solid mental presence, but the blue cluster could hear and see all that had happened. In his attempt to stay out of the cage, he had helped the blond rebuild himself. Naruto was not ready to come out yet and the worst of the memories still had to be added to the forming mass.
Soon, if Naruto did not re-shatter after the horrors of the Sound were added to his mental image, he would be ready to come back out. Ready to face to reality that had driven him to shatter himself in the first place, but this time armed with the friends, fathers, and lovers that wanted him back.
Soon Naruto would be able to send him back to the cage inside of his stomach and take control again. Being able to feel the love and happiness that had so intrigued the demon. The demon wanted to stay in this form until the time Naruto was ready, so he might get to feel those things.
Like he belonged, and was wanted, but it would not be for him, it would be for Naruto.
Sasuke would never want him, just Naruto. He had seen that, over and over in the blonde’s memories. Everything the fox liked about the raven-haired asshole was because he was trying to save or protect or just be there for Naruto.
Even now he knew what he was feeling just because he had learned it from the blond.
Heartbroken.
Sasuke would never be his. Always Naruto’s.
His borrowed body’s chest felt tight, and the lump that had formed in his stomach, had traveled up to lodge in to his throat.
Sasuke loved Naruto, and always would. He would never be anything to him.
It hurt. He did not know that emotions could make one hurt like this. Could make his chest hurt this bad and his throat felt like there was a lump of coal lodged in it.
Burying his face in to the green vest, the demon felt the hot tears fall from his eyes to be absorbed by the coarse fabric the vest was made out of. The demon could feel his bottom lip quivering and his shoulders shaking as the horrible thing that he felt, ate him from the inside out.
Was this was why tears fell? Because his insides felt like they had been pulled out and chewed on? Was that what made humans cry?
What horrible, horrible things emotions were. Even more disgusting than he originally thought. He was not even physically harmed and yet he felt like screaming from the pain the stupid feelings were putting him through.
The hand that was running through his hosts hair shift to rub his back. Iruka’s voice echoed in the chest Kyuubi had his face pressed against.
"Shhhh, It’s ok, Kyuubi."
Unbidden, his annoyingly human hands grabbed the chuunin higher around the waist and held him tightly.
This man knew who he was, what he was, and was still comforting him.
He did not know why. Did not care why. He just appreciated it.
Kyuubi still felt like his guts had been ripped out and stomped on, that someone had a white knuckle grip on his heart and somehow, just holding on to this, this father, made him feel just a little bit better. Made the knot in his throat start to fade and let his exhausted body slip in to slumber despite the tears that were still falling down his face.
Iruka held on to the sleeping form, cradling the blond head against his chest, and brushed the demon’s tears away. Finding out that it was indeed the demon was like a punch straight to the heart, but when the beast had started to cry, the teacher could not just ignore it.
Shifting the blond around so that he could lift him up, Iruka carried the sleeping demon over to the remains to the bed and found a corner where the springs were not torn free of their coverings and set the blond down. Grabbing the chunk of blanket that had been left forgotten on the floor, the man once again placed it over Naruto, no, Kyuubi’s shoulders.
Sitting down on the cold floor tiles next to the blond teen, Iruka ran his hand once through the blond locks, then set it on the mattress next to Kyuubi.
Hearing a soft knock on the door and looking up as Kakashi let himself in, Iruka did not get to see the tan hand grab his, but felt it. Felt the soft grip that was more asking to be held then holding. Wrapping his fingers around the demon’s, Iruka told his lover all that had happened in his absence.
Watching the forehead protector rise on the man’s brow as Iruka informed him that they were sitting next to Kyuubi, not Naruto.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sa suke watched Sakura peal an apple then cut it in to quarters for him. She or Ino had been in the same room as him ever since he had woken up from the surgery earlier in the day. His heart was already beating better; even he could hear the difference in the beeping of the machines he was connected to.
Watching the female hum as she deftly handled the kunai, he scowled.
She was here to make sure he did not run off to see Naruto again. Not that it was Naruto.
Word had spread that Kyuubi was vying control and the Hokage had been pouring over every text she could find to try and find out how the demon was able to out-maneuver the seal and resurface.
Tsunade had been the first person he saw when he woke up and she had grilled him for a good hour before she gave in, not getting any answers from him.
He wanted to go see Kyuubi for himself before he spilled his guts.
The fox had not kept up his part of the bargain, not that there was any real bargain to begin with. Just that Sasuke had not even found out if Naruto could even come back and he refused to give in until he knew.
He had to know, he just had to and would not relinquish the summoning jutsu until he had his answer.
"Here you go, Sasuke." The sliced and diced apple was thrust under his nose and he took the plate from the pink haired girl.
The Hokage figured that as soon as he was awake, he would want to see the blond. Which was true.
So the woman sicced the two people that would undoubtedly stick to his bedside whether he liked it or not.
Sakura was better than Ino, but they both grated on his nerves. The last few hours he had been fed three times and the girls kept getting into fights over who was going to do what, did this taste better than that,
and so on.
Setting the apple on to his lap he watched as Sakura went though and restocked all the shelves and tidied the room. Much calmer now that Ino had left to go to dinner with Chouji.
"Sakura."
For all of his genius, Sasuke could not think of a way to sneak down there to see Kyuubi. He knew that Sakura had gotten over her annoying crush of him, so he did not even have that going for him and she felt betrayed by the fox for tricking her in to believing that he was Naruto.
The girl turned to face him.
The only thing that was left, was the direct route and he knew that the fox’s betrayal hurt her because she still wanted to see the loudmouth.
"Take me to see Naruto."
All color drained from her face and she dropped whatever it was she had been holding, sending it to the floor with a hollow thump.
"NO. You know very well that he’s not Naruto. You’ve only been out of surgery for a less then a day now and.."
"Sakura, please."
He looked up to her from his bed with the best weepy eyes he could muster. He would do anything to see him again, including flirting with his teammate. He knew she was over him, but maybe there was still something he could do to persuade her. She wanted to see him, the laughing dobe back and truthfully Sasuke did not want to venture in to the demons domain without someone else present to pull the beast off of him if Kyuubi wanted to finish what he started.
Still, even with the threat of having an audience watch as the fox mated with him, did not change that fact he wanted to be there with him. He had to know if it was possible for Naruto to come back and the only being that had that vital information was being held four levels down in the secured ward.
"Please, I need to see him."
He had to know if there was a chance, no matter how big or small, he wanted to know. And if there was no chance, then, then he would do the right thing and let Naruto go.
Making a fist in the sheets, Sasuke felt a lump grow in his throat at the thought of what would happen if Naruto could not come back. He felt his eyes burn from tears that were threatening to fall. Looking back up to the pink haired girl that was his only chance to get down there, he saw the way she was watching him.
“Please, I have to see him.”
The pink haired girl closed her eyes and took a deep breath to steady her breathing that had turned choppy and in a quite voice she answered.
"He’s not Naruto, Sasuke. He tricked us all in to thinking that he was, but it was, is, the Kyuubi. It’s not Naruto, it’s not."
Sakura looked down for a moment as she choked up, then back up with tears in her eyes when she could speak again.
"He, he hurt you, why would you want to go, willingly, back to him? Back to the demon."
Looking down and pushing one of the apple quarters around his plate, Sasuke had to think fast. That was one of the problems, he did not care about his own safety and would willing venture back to the beast to get his answer. Others thought it would be foolish and stupid to go through that, not knowing if the beast would comply or not.
Plus Sakura was one of the medic nins on duty that night. She was there when they found out that he had been "with" the demon and that was what messed his heart up. That alone made the nurses look at him funny and had the elders place two ANBU guards to watch him to make sure he did nothing stupid like that again. That was another reason he need Sakura. She could get his passed the guards with out him having to use sharingan. All she had to do was to spout some medical reason for him to be out of bed and no one would stop them. But he had to convince her that it was safe for them/him to go.
"He did not rape me."
"Sasuke don’t. I’m not going to take you down there."
"It was rough, but it was not rape."
"Sasuke stop. I don’t care. He is the demon and I will not take you to see him. If it was Naruto then we would both be at his side, but it’s not him. Just the demon."
There were tears in Sakura’s eyes that leaked out to dribble down her face and she brushed them away with the back of her hand. Then turned to the door so she could get one of the other medic nins to come over if Sasuke pressed the
issue much more. The raven haired teen knew that the Hokage was not going to give him another chance like the last one and leave him to his own devices. The nurse and medic-nins had orders to sedate him if he tried to leave the room. The guards were there in case he tried anything violent in nature to get passed them
Sakura missed Naruto, he knew she did, and Ino had confirmed it by picking on the pink haired girl and teasing that she had worried more for Naruto then for him.
Forming his lie in his head, the raven-haired teen spoke before Sakura
could step out of the room.
"It was part of a deal."
She stopped with one foot out the door and turned around to face him. Eyes red and puffy from her tears.
"What deal?"
Sasuke, as a rule did not lie, it served no purpose to him, but right now he needed anything that would get him down to the secured level.
"He got me and in return he would let Naruto come back."
Sakura’s hand fell away from the doorknob and she stepped back towards him. One second her face lit up in hope, the next the brows furled and she asked a question.
"Why didn’t you tell Tsunade-sama?"
‘Shit’ why did Sakura have to be so damn inquisitive? Closing his eyes so she could not tell he was laying though his teeth, he perpetuated his lie.
"I didn’t want her to think I liked it."
"You know she has no issue with gays."
His cheeks were flushed red and he opened his eyes to stare intently at the edge of the plate in his lap. He had never really thought about it like that. He and Naruto, yeah that was gay, but it just seemed, well, normal.
"Sasuke?"
Looking up as Sakura sat on the bed next to his knees. Eyes alight with hope.
"Did the demon really say that he would bring Naruto back?"
"Yes." He was such a horrible liar.
"How did you get him out to ask him?"
‘Oh fuck.’ Sasuke hated her right now.
"I summoned him and he wont go back until he holds up his part of the deal."
Well, it was not quite anywhere near the truth. The demon could go back whenever he felt like it; he just could not get back out. So of course the beast would hold out for as long as possible.
"But what if the demon doesn’t think he was ‘paid’ enough and try’s to... to get with you again. Your heart still is not strong enough."
"You’ll be there and Iruka has not left his side yet."
That’s it; make her think that she is important. Like she could really make a
difference by being there. She did have the explosive strength from the hokage and was trained in the healing arts, but he had seen what the beast could do when he was pissed off. Not all the kages combined could stop the demon when he really got going.
The pink haired chuunin chewed her lip before reaching over and turning the heart monitor off. If it had been on she would of been able to see his heart leap at the action.
"Alright, but if anything happens, I will drag you back up here,
whether you like it or not."
Deftly she unhooked him from all the IV’s and wires, with the practiced ease of a medical worker and helped him to his feet. She really did not need that much of a push to go see her blond team mate and Sasuke was rather relived that he did not have to fabricate anything more that what he already had.
As soon as he was clear of all the wires and IV’s and standing on the chilled floor tiles, Sakura grabbed a long sleeved shirt and helped him put it on, so that he was covered by more than just the flimsy hospital smock over some sleep pants.
With his arm around her shoulders for support, glad that he did not have to make the journey on his own again and that he was blessedly still medicated enough to not feel the thumping protects from his heart.
None of the guards gave him a second look with Sakura as his guide, not even when they had to stand waiting for the elevator.
The two made there way down to the secured level and was greeted by a hassled looking guard. Who was the only one that did not look like he believed a word Sakura said but still she managed to connive their way in. Her eagerness to help showing that she also wanted to see the blonde’s body back to it’s proper operator.
The plot is still the same, just presented better and if you read the original then you have already read the beginning of the next chapter. Which might not be that last one anymore. I don’t know if I can sum it all up in one last chapter. If I do, prepare for a long one.
Chapter 26
demon introspective
Harsh pants echoed through the still, dimly lit room. Great gouges from the demon’s claws marring the once whole and seal covered walls. There where no windows to interrupt the slashes, and the lone solid door stood at the far wall. The brown wood clashing with the old white paint of the walls and the black ink of the seals that had once covered them were now shredded in to thousands of pieces, strewn about the room haphazardly like confetti.
Iruka sat on the floor with his back to the wall across from the door, the tattered remains of the bed lying pathetically in the corner next to him. Having been destroyed early in to the night by one of the beast’s rages that had decimated the secured room in the sub basement of the hospital. The clawed hand of the blond teen who was using his thigh as a pillow, tightened its grip for a moment and the panting stopped just long enough to let a low, pained whine escape before resuming.
A tired smile graced Irukas face as he slowly caressed the blonde’s head on his thigh, then leaned over to pull a piece of the shredded blanket from the bed, over the curled form pressed against him. Naruto had managed to rip his own shirt to ribbons and the room was annoyingly well air-conditioned. A side effect from being underground and not having anywhere else for the cold air to go. Setting the standard gray wool blanket over the blonde’s bare, scar covered shoulders, the chuunin felt a bite of pain from his hand as he slide the coarse fabric out of his fingers to rest comfortably draped over his pseudo son.
Turning his hand over then looking tiredly at the stinging appendage, he saw the three lines of red across his palm. Kyuubi had scratched him the last time the fox had tried to take over. Iruka had been too preoccupied with trying to keep the enraged demon contained in the room, to notice a small thing like having been scratched in the process.
Now that the beast had calmed down some and was resting the weary body he inhabited, Iruka could feel the throb and sting of a thousand other minor nicks and cuts across his body. The demon’s claws and fangs had
given him a thorough work over and there was hardly a place on his battered body that did not sting or ache.
His Chuunin vest was in no better shape then the mangled bed was, the collar had been ripped clear off and the front side was more a collection of rips than fabric. The blasted fox had managed to throw him across the room a few times in his attempts to get out of the room, and the teacher had been a tad too slow more than once to get out of the way when the boiling red chakra surfaced and tried to tear through the walls to freedom. Kakashi had to advert the demon’s attention more then once in order to save him from a gutting, or from having appendages ribbed off over the course of the night.
To Iruka, though, the worst of his injuries had to be that his eyes were scratchy from the tears he had shed over from sitting with the blond when he was Naruto. Over and over he had to calm the blond, to get him to stop screaming and to hold on to him for one moment, then let go the next because the claws were ripping in to him.
When Naruto had screamed and begged for him to stop, to ‘please just stop, please’, his heart broke and tears fell down the teacher’s face. How Naruto curled up and screamed when touched, only to have the red chakra consume the blond and have Naruto lash out at him once he was able to get near him to comfort him. There were times when all he could do was hold on to the sobbing teen, when Naruto would clutch him and cry out in between sobs to stop cutting, that he would do anything they wanted.
And all the chuunin could do was to hold him as the cry’s and the pleas became weaker and weaker.
The past 30 odd hours had been so emotionally draining that Iruka could not even compare it to anything he had ever been through. Not even after he had woken up in the hospital to find out that Naruto had been taken, even after he had heard the men say over and over that if Naruto killed him they would leave.
Naruto let out a whimper and Iruka softly ran his hand through the golden locks, knowing that it calmed the distraught teen, feeling the way the blond head snuggled against his leg and felt the hand on his knee tighten for just for a second.
Iruka had no idea what Naruto was going through in his own head, or why Kyuubi was doing what he was doing, taking over for a few moments of raging violence then retreating back to the screaming fear of Naruto; only that he would be here for his blond son. He would not leave him to face whatever it was he was facing alone, or with the demon.
The tears and terrors, the pain and whimpers. No matter what, he was not going to let anything happen to Naruto again.
He blamed himself for not being able to stop the men that had started the attack on his almost son. The two bastards that just waltzed into his home and shattered everything he lived for, if he had just been a little stronger, a little faster, a little bit better at ninjutsu, then maybe Naruto would not have been taken that night; would not of had suffered the way he had. The way he still was from the noises he was making when it was him and not the demon that was in charge of the body.
Feeling the soft gold strands flowing through his fingers with each pass, finding the action to be very therapeutic for his conscious. Naruto was back, was safely with him again, but in the turbulent times after the teens abduction, he had wished more then ever that he had continued his training to become a jounin.
Kakashi had told him a thousand times that his place was teaching, that he was doing more for Konoha by enlightening the minds of the future shinobi and instilling the morals that defined them, then he could by
going out on a patrol or by going on a mission to fight the Sound. He wanted to believe him, and in the end, had to, because Tsunade would not change his assignment no mater how much he pleaded and argued.
It had pissed him off, truthfully.
He had wanted to be on one of the teams that were sent in to retrieve Naruto. He had thought that if the blond saw him, then maybe Naruto would be able to, to do something and take back over or get away. It was a foolish wish, he knew, but he still wanted to go, to see Naruto again, to maybe be able to help him get out and redeem himself in his own eyes for being weak and letting Naruto be taken in the first place.
Grunting at the still raw wound that this train of though evoked, he looked up to the unremarkable ceiling of the room, then slid his eyes to the chair that the silver haired jounin was occupying. Reading the porn novel that was always within reach of the man.
Kakashi had shown him the ANBU bingo book that had the two men in it. Listed not for what they did to Naruto, but for the hundred other, similar crimes committed in other countries. They were wanted everywhere and were rated as at least jounin level, although it was suspected that they were more powerful then that. Kakashi had told him a hundred times that it was not his fault for what had happened, for letting Naruto be taken. The silver haired man had also said the even he would have been hard pressed to beat the pair.
That was the only thing that had helped. Iruka knew his lover did not concede that he could be beaten often.
The said jounin looked up from his chair and smiled through the mask he wore when he saw Iruka watching him. Slowly he tucked the latest of Jiraiya’s books in his pouch then stood up, stretched, and put his hand behind his head as a sheepish look crossed his masked face.
"Yo, Iruka, I’ll head off and grab some breakfast and bring something back for you."
The voice was lowered to a whisper so not to disturb the sleeping blond and Iruka loved the husky inflection the whisper gave to his lovers voice.
Looking down to the blond head again to hide his small blush, Iruka quietlythanked him. They had not been together for all that long, committing to a relationship only a few weeks prior to the news of the Sound Village’s collapse and he still felt a tad odd when Kakashi did things for him.
Not odd in a bad way, just unused to it.
Smiling to himself as he remembered the first time he had come home to his new apartment, not being able to stand the old place Naruto had been taken from,find the kitchen cleaned and Kakashi elbow deep in soappy dishwater. The shocked look on the uncovered side of Kakashi’s face and the embarrassed little laugh the man had emitted as he pulled his hands from the sink.
That was the first night they had made love and had been able to see his scarecrow’s face.
Smiling at the fond memory, the teacher leaned back against the wall and gazed up to the ceiling as images of Kakashi’s face floated through his head.
Naruto’s hand suddenly clenched on his knee, claws digging into his tender flesh and a startled yell escaping the teacher’s lips, pulling him out of his pleasant memories of his lover.
Red chakra seeped out of the blond at an alarming rate and a feral cry tore from Naruto’s lips as the blond tensed his entire body. The cry turned to a demonic roar as the hand on Iruka’s knee, dragged along the leg, cutting deep gashes. Iruka had no choice but to grab the hand and pull it away from his flesh before it did serious damage. Only to have the hand keep moving away as Naruto lurched to his feet and shot across the room to stand awkwardly by the solid door, growling at him.
Never before had the red chakra been so visible to the teacher, surging and covering Naruto as he crouched, still glaring at him as he lowered to his haunches, crouching low. The blonde’s eyes were slitted and blood red, sharp fangs protruded from his lips, and the bubbling chakra was forming a tail and ears.
Iruka paused before jumping to his feet to face this version of his son, momentarily unsure, but not letting his fear of the demon get in the way of his love for his son.
"N-Naruto?"
Kyuubi paused, then brought his blood-covered hand to his lips, licking the crimson substance from his fingers. Tasting the sharp copper twang and snorting. It was not his. Not this body’s blood.
He flicked his eyes up to the man that had stayed in the room the entire time he fought the brat’s memories. Growling as the man took a step towards him.
Iruka stopped, then held his arms out in front of himself as non threatening like as possible.
"Naruto, it’s OK, it will be alright. Just calm down."
A growl resonated from the demon’s depths to emerge as a harsh voice, anger tipped for being confused with a weak human.
"I’m not Naruto."
The deep voice despite the natural harshness, was tired, losing its hostile edge with the weariness it portrayed.
The near constant fighting against the emotional surges had drained the fox and he was having a difficult time holding the chakra form around the brat. The summoning jutsu that had allowed him to take control of this form
was slowly giving out and he could feel the hard won control start to slip.
He sent the emotional torrents back into the blue cluster of memories that was all that was left of his host’s psyche. Making sure that they could not get out from the broken remains before he returned his attention outward again to take the body back over.
Only to find that the body he had been fighting for was exhausted and hardly able to stand. He was not much better, the demon was tired and there was a part of him that wanted to curl up and go to sleep inside of his host.
Shoving that tiredness away, Kyuubi forced himself to focus on the problem at hand. He was stuck in a cage again and had declared himself as the demon.
Good, he never wanted to be anybody but himself from here on out.
Let alone a weak miserable human.
He would find way to get out of here, without having to pretend to be Naruto.
He still felt the disastrous consequentses of him raiding his hosts memories. Having been dragged through the brat’s memories and the feelings that went with them. The horrible, painful things that they were.
He had known that it had hurt; he had listened to his blond host’s screaming when it had happened. Now he knew what the cold knife against his flesh felt like right before it stated to cut into him, he knew the terror, pain and humiliation as the two men violated him.
These were things no demon should ever have to feel. No one could rape a demon or make one cower in fear. These things were so totally human and disgusting to him. It was almost grotesque to the beast that he knew what they were, let alone what they felt like.
The surging emotions had pulled him out of his cage and forced him to live through all of it in his host’s stead. No longer was he just the passenger, the annoyed onlooker, he had to go through it as well. Even if it was just through the brat’s memories that were still fresh with the pain Naruto had to endure.
Letting out a tired and shaky breathe, the demon watched as the room blurred around him. This body had been through too much even if it was just the memories of what had happened and could not handle much more. It was tired, so tired of pain and hurting, of not knowing when it would stop. The demon felt as his feet stared to slide out from under himself, this body needed rest and it was going to make him give it some.
Before Kyuubi could crash to the floor, warm arms wrapped around his middle and held him, slowly guiding him to the floor so that he landed in Iruka’s lap and not the cold, unforgiving floor. The teacher gently set the blond
head on his shoulder and continued to hold Kyuubi so that his voice reverberated through his chest as he spoke.
"I know you’re Kyuubi no Youkai."
The voice held a hint of the annoying tears despite being deceptively calm.
Growling and struggling as much as this worn out body could, the demon tried to get off the teacher’s lap, only to be held tighter, he wanted to fight, to get away, but there was nothing left in this body for him to fight with. His chakra had gone to help the wavering teen but the minuscule amount the seal let him take out, was now where near as much as this body needed.
Kyuubi wriggled and squirmed against the arms, trying to get the man to let him go. He was a proud demon, he was a beast, a monster and he hated to be cuddled. Mostly because it meant that he was weak. This body was weak, he wasn’t and it still pissed him off that he could not rip this man to pieces because he gave a damn about him.
It was horrible, this emotional infection he had contracted.
Iruka started to run his hand through Narutos hair, softly massaging his scalp, ignoring the low growl from the beast.
"It’s ok, I’m not going to hurt you, even if you are a demon."
Kyuubi growling tapered off as the fox jerked his head away from the hand, but was still unable to get out of the man’s grip.
"Was it you the whole night?"
Pausing the demon looked at the man’s tear filled eyes and nodded curtly then resumed trying to get away. Maybe now the man would let go of him. The demon could hear the odd defeated sigh before Iruka spoke again.
"Its still ok Kyuubi, calm down, I wont do any thing to you."
Iruka’s hand placed itself on his head and started to run through his host’s blond tresses, making the beast growl again. The teacher gently rubbed the soft skin behind his hosts ear like a masseuse and the fox shuttered from the pleasure he gained from the action.
Giving in, this body was too tired to struggle anymore anyway, the fox let himself be pressed himself against the warmth of the gentle man, feeling the tough material of the vest against his cheek and absentmindedly grabbed on to Iruka’s shirt near the bottom hem, just to keep his claws occupied.
The hand kept up its course of running through his golden mane, soothing him. His eyes going half lidded and the demon shuttered again. Thumbs. If there was anything good about humans it was thumbs. The way Iruka kept his thumb brushing his ear was great. It was almost worth being human to feel it.
The thumb grazed the top of his ear and the beast shifted so that he get the hand to do more than just graze his ear. Pressing his face against the rough material of the tattered vest, the demon sighed as the thumb rubbed his ears back shell.
He could smell Iruka, the veritable reek of the man, from the blood from the thousand nicks and cuts across his flesh to the nervous sweat that had started not to long ago to drip silently down the back of the mans neck and the tears on the man’s face. All of it blended together with his laundry detergent and shampoo that mixed and muddled everything into one smell the beast labeled "Iruka."
Kyuubi still had the disgusting emotions plaguing him, still felt the way this man’s presences made him relax with out thinking about it, because of them. It still annoyed him to no end that he did not want to rip this person apart just for the fun of it.
But he also, on a level of himself that was still new and forming, liked it. The closeness and trust, the familiarity and comfort of the man, he liked it. He liked not having to fight because they would kill him
if they could.
This man, ‘Iruka’, would never do anything to hurt him, no matter what he did to deserve it, had already done to deserve it just for being a demon. He would always be there to hold him and try to make things better, give him a shelter from whatever storm he was going through. It had been this man, always holding on to him when the brats memories and emotions attempted to drown him, that served as an anchor. Holding him down and not letting him get swept away with the memories.
Kyuubi sighed and let the rumble purr that had been threatening to escape, out and curled against Iruka even more. He did not like that the new emotions made him feel, or that he was aware that they were even there, but he did like feeling like this.
Demons did not have fathers; they bred parasitically by matting with whatever species was available at the time of rut. If they wanted to reproduce, they left themselves whole, otherwise they held in the integral ingredients to make a whelp. It did not matter if the creature selected to mated with was male or female, all demons held themselves to the
gender of male and the integral ingredient was not their sperm but the chakra infused in it that rearranged the reproduction organs to handle a demon whelp or made them if none was present.
That was the norm for demons. That was the norm for him as well, there were probably a dozen or so whelps crawling around the countryside that he had sired. Very few if any would live to adult hood and take his
place if he was killed. Again that was the norm for demons.
But he liked this way better.
Iruka was Naruto’s father. He did not sire him, did not mate with a female to birth him, but was, unquestionably, the brat’s father. Kyuubi had seen and lived through everything Naruto had done in his 15-year life, and this man had been a big part of it. Being there for him, helping him, saving him a few times, listening to him and buying him ramen. Naruto felt loved from being around Iruka and now he did too. He felt taken care of and comfortable laying in the man’s arms, having him rub the backside of his ears.
He liked that.
Contentment was one of the few new emotions that he enjoyed and this man let him bask in the new emotion that was not horrible like so many of the others were. Things like Love, that was horrid on principle and fear that was never supposed to be felt by a demon. Demons instilled fear into others, but they never felt it themselves. Now that he had,he understood why humans made that odd screech when he was around.
He understood and it was morally wrong, for him as a demon, to do so.
How could humans stand it? All the different things, actions and interactions that made their heart beat faster and sweat slick their palms. Fear and excitement, anticipation and terror, dread and love, all of them were new to
the demon and he could not see how humans could survive living with all these things plaguing them.
Kyuubi liked it better when there was nothing more than it either felt good, or it didn’t. All the different emotions were an added complexity that he did not want, or need.
Things like fear, which seemed to rule human lives. People got stronger because they feared the harm and death of their loved ones and wanted to protect them. Kyuubi understood protectiveness, what was his was his,
and he would kill any that tried to take it from him. But what did he have to fear?
Death?
Pain and suffering?
Loneliness?
Grabbing tightly to Iruka’s waist he growled over the rumble purr he was still letting out.
He admitted he liked this, this, comfort this man gave him and he admitted that he was still stuck being in love with Sasuke. When he thought of loneliness, the remembered pain of Naruto’s youth came back to him. The inattention and the sight of everyone back to him, of noone being there for him and not caring about him. Not caring whether or not he was happy or hurt, not giving a damn if he was around or not. Only looking at him when he defaced something.
It had never bothered him before, the brat’s loneliness, but now, he could compare it to how it was before he attacked Konoha.
There was no Iruka to rub his ears and to be a anchor for him.
There was no Sasuke to have an nice tight ass for him to fuck, and to amuse him with his antics.
There was no one waiting for him under a tree to see how he was doing.
There was nothing. And the thought of not having Iruka and Sasuke made his chest feel tight.
He had never had any of that stuff before, but now that he did, he did not want to let it go, didn’t want to be lonely again.
Growling fiercely and unintentionally scratching Iruka’s waist, the fox pushed the last part of that thought out of his head. It was gross and detestable, demons did not get lonely.
But then, he might be the first demon to know that loneliness was, or what love was as well.
For Kyuubi was still plagued with the disgusting love for the dark haired teen, only now he knew for sure that it was his. Maybe it had sprouted from Naruto’s, but now, the beast could tell that it had started something that grew inside of him to belong just to him.
He had been forced to go through all of his host’s memories and feelings, to live through them, the good and the bad. The horrors of the Sound, to the feelings with Sasuke on the balcony, the painful terrors, and the heart swelling love had awakened things inside of himself, and now the demon wanted to feel more of the good ones.
No, he wanted his own.
Not the second hand emotions he gleamed from having to go through Narutos. He wanted to feel his own happiness; he wanted to know what it was like to have his heart pound in his chest in anticipation, excitement, joy, happiness and love.
Opening his eyes and lifting his head from the shredded vest that covered Iruka’s chest, he lifted his hand so he could see it and saw the pale human fingers. Spreading them, then making a fist as a lump settled in his stomach.
He was not himself, not his glorious fox form but stuck in the confines of a human body.
The gentle hand that was guiding his head back to the warmth of the shoulder, the comfort and companionship of the man he was sitting pressed against.
All of it was for Naruto.
He had fought through the brat’s emotions and memories, he knew that he was not wanted by any of the people the brat cared for. Or by anybody anywhere. Not even Sasuke.
There was nothing out here for him when he was in control of the blonde’s body, the emotions were not his, the love and sense of belonging did not belong to him, but he still wanted to be here.
No, he wanted to be himself, in this place, to feel what his own emotions and feelings would be. He wanted someone to stroke his ears and hold him, sooth him, love him.
And he would never get it.
The fox hated himself instantly for realizing that he wanted it and he hated himself even more when he realized the lump in his stomach was jealousy for the blond he inhabited.
Him, the most powerful of all the tailed demons, wanted someone to hold and love him and was jealous of Naruto because he already had someone that did. Had several someone’s that did.
Sasuke being one of them, a big one of them.
Closing his eyes again, the fox felt the waves of Naruto’s conscious rise up to meet him. The brat was reforming himself; the blue shards of memories putting themselves back together to form a vaguely human form. This man’s forgiveness letting Naruto move past all that had shattered him. The group that was waiting for him under the tree in the hospital garden let him know that he was not alone, that he was wanted. Sasuke had faced the demon, him, in an attempt to bring him out of the shell he had crawled in to, and would do anything to bring him back.
Because they loved him, as friends, as fathers, as lovers and mostly, for himself.
Naruto was not yet a solid mental presence, but the blue cluster could hear and see all that had happened. In his attempt to stay out of the cage, he had helped the blond rebuild himself. Naruto was not ready to come out yet and the worst of the memories still had to be added to the forming mass.
Soon, if Naruto did not re-shatter after the horrors of the Sound were added to his mental image, he would be ready to come back out. Ready to face to reality that had driven him to shatter himself in the first place, but this time armed with the friends, fathers, and lovers that wanted him back.
Soon Naruto would be able to send him back to the cage inside of his stomach and take control again. Being able to feel the love and happiness that had so intrigued the demon. The demon wanted to stay in this form until the time Naruto was ready, so he might get to feel those things.
Like he belonged, and was wanted, but it would not be for him, it would be for Naruto.
Sasuke would never want him, just Naruto. He had seen that, over and over in the blonde’s memories. Everything the fox liked about the raven-haired asshole was because he was trying to save or protect or just be there for Naruto.
Even now he knew what he was feeling just because he had learned it from the blond.
Heartbroken.
Sasuke would never be his. Always Naruto’s.
His borrowed body’s chest felt tight, and the lump that had formed in his stomach, had traveled up to lodge in to his throat.
Sasuke loved Naruto, and always would. He would never be anything to him.
It hurt. He did not know that emotions could make one hurt like this. Could make his chest hurt this bad and his throat felt like there was a lump of coal lodged in it.
Burying his face in to the green vest, the demon felt the hot tears fall from his eyes to be absorbed by the coarse fabric the vest was made out of. The demon could feel his bottom lip quivering and his shoulders shaking as the horrible thing that he felt, ate him from the inside out.
Was this was why tears fell? Because his insides felt like they had been pulled out and chewed on? Was that what made humans cry?
What horrible, horrible things emotions were. Even more disgusting than he originally thought. He was not even physically harmed and yet he felt like screaming from the pain the stupid feelings were putting him through.
The hand that was running through his hosts hair shift to rub his back. Iruka’s voice echoed in the chest Kyuubi had his face pressed against.
"Shhhh, It’s ok, Kyuubi."
Unbidden, his annoyingly human hands grabbed the chuunin higher around the waist and held him tightly.
This man knew who he was, what he was, and was still comforting him.
He did not know why. Did not care why. He just appreciated it.
Kyuubi still felt like his guts had been ripped out and stomped on, that someone had a white knuckle grip on his heart and somehow, just holding on to this, this father, made him feel just a little bit better. Made the knot in his throat start to fade and let his exhausted body slip in to slumber despite the tears that were still falling down his face.
Iruka held on to the sleeping form, cradling the blond head against his chest, and brushed the demon’s tears away. Finding out that it was indeed the demon was like a punch straight to the heart, but when the beast had started to cry, the teacher could not just ignore it.
Shifting the blond around so that he could lift him up, Iruka carried the sleeping demon over to the remains to the bed and found a corner where the springs were not torn free of their coverings and set the blond down. Grabbing the chunk of blanket that had been left forgotten on the floor, the man once again placed it over Naruto, no, Kyuubi’s shoulders.
Sitting down on the cold floor tiles next to the blond teen, Iruka ran his hand once through the blond locks, then set it on the mattress next to Kyuubi.
Hearing a soft knock on the door and looking up as Kakashi let himself in, Iruka did not get to see the tan hand grab his, but felt it. Felt the soft grip that was more asking to be held then holding. Wrapping his fingers around the demon’s, Iruka told his lover all that had happened in his absence.
Watching the forehead protector rise on the man’s brow as Iruka informed him that they were sitting next to Kyuubi, not Naruto.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sa suke watched Sakura peal an apple then cut it in to quarters for him. She or Ino had been in the same room as him ever since he had woken up from the surgery earlier in the day. His heart was already beating better; even he could hear the difference in the beeping of the machines he was connected to.
Watching the female hum as she deftly handled the kunai, he scowled.
She was here to make sure he did not run off to see Naruto again. Not that it was Naruto.
Word had spread that Kyuubi was vying control and the Hokage had been pouring over every text she could find to try and find out how the demon was able to out-maneuver the seal and resurface.
Tsunade had been the first person he saw when he woke up and she had grilled him for a good hour before she gave in, not getting any answers from him.
He wanted to go see Kyuubi for himself before he spilled his guts.
The fox had not kept up his part of the bargain, not that there was any real bargain to begin with. Just that Sasuke had not even found out if Naruto could even come back and he refused to give in until he knew.
He had to know, he just had to and would not relinquish the summoning jutsu until he had his answer.
"Here you go, Sasuke." The sliced and diced apple was thrust under his nose and he took the plate from the pink haired girl.
The Hokage figured that as soon as he was awake, he would want to see the blond. Which was true.
So the woman sicced the two people that would undoubtedly stick to his bedside whether he liked it or not.
Sakura was better than Ino, but they both grated on his nerves. The last few hours he had been fed three times and the girls kept getting into fights over who was going to do what, did this taste better than that,
and so on.
Setting the apple on to his lap he watched as Sakura went though and restocked all the shelves and tidied the room. Much calmer now that Ino had left to go to dinner with Chouji.
"Sakura."
For all of his genius, Sasuke could not think of a way to sneak down there to see Kyuubi. He knew that Sakura had gotten over her annoying crush of him, so he did not even have that going for him and she felt betrayed by the fox for tricking her in to believing that he was Naruto.
The girl turned to face him.
The only thing that was left, was the direct route and he knew that the fox’s betrayal hurt her because she still wanted to see the loudmouth.
"Take me to see Naruto."
All color drained from her face and she dropped whatever it was she had been holding, sending it to the floor with a hollow thump.
"NO. You know very well that he’s not Naruto. You’ve only been out of surgery for a less then a day now and.."
"Sakura, please."
He looked up to her from his bed with the best weepy eyes he could muster. He would do anything to see him again, including flirting with his teammate. He knew she was over him, but maybe there was still something he could do to persuade her. She wanted to see him, the laughing dobe back and truthfully Sasuke did not want to venture in to the demons domain without someone else present to pull the beast off of him if Kyuubi wanted to finish what he started.
Still, even with the threat of having an audience watch as the fox mated with him, did not change that fact he wanted to be there with him. He had to know if it was possible for Naruto to come back and the only being that had that vital information was being held four levels down in the secured ward.
"Please, I need to see him."
He had to know if there was a chance, no matter how big or small, he wanted to know. And if there was no chance, then, then he would do the right thing and let Naruto go.
Making a fist in the sheets, Sasuke felt a lump grow in his throat at the thought of what would happen if Naruto could not come back. He felt his eyes burn from tears that were threatening to fall. Looking back up to the pink haired girl that was his only chance to get down there, he saw the way she was watching him.
“Please, I have to see him.”
The pink haired girl closed her eyes and took a deep breath to steady her breathing that had turned choppy and in a quite voice she answered.
"He’s not Naruto, Sasuke. He tricked us all in to thinking that he was, but it was, is, the Kyuubi. It’s not Naruto, it’s not."
Sakura looked down for a moment as she choked up, then back up with tears in her eyes when she could speak again.
"He, he hurt you, why would you want to go, willingly, back to him? Back to the demon."
Looking down and pushing one of the apple quarters around his plate, Sasuke had to think fast. That was one of the problems, he did not care about his own safety and would willing venture back to the beast to get his answer. Others thought it would be foolish and stupid to go through that, not knowing if the beast would comply or not.
Plus Sakura was one of the medic nins on duty that night. She was there when they found out that he had been "with" the demon and that was what messed his heart up. That alone made the nurses look at him funny and had the elders place two ANBU guards to watch him to make sure he did nothing stupid like that again. That was another reason he need Sakura. She could get his passed the guards with out him having to use sharingan. All she had to do was to spout some medical reason for him to be out of bed and no one would stop them. But he had to convince her that it was safe for them/him to go.
"He did not rape me."
"Sasuke don’t. I’m not going to take you down there."
"It was rough, but it was not rape."
"Sasuke stop. I don’t care. He is the demon and I will not take you to see him. If it was Naruto then we would both be at his side, but it’s not him. Just the demon."
There were tears in Sakura’s eyes that leaked out to dribble down her face and she brushed them away with the back of her hand. Then turned to the door so she could get one of the other medic nins to come over if Sasuke pressed the
issue much more. The raven haired teen knew that the Hokage was not going to give him another chance like the last one and leave him to his own devices. The nurse and medic-nins had orders to sedate him if he tried to leave the room. The guards were there in case he tried anything violent in nature to get passed them
Sakura missed Naruto, he knew she did, and Ino had confirmed it by picking on the pink haired girl and teasing that she had worried more for Naruto then for him.
Forming his lie in his head, the raven-haired teen spoke before Sakura
could step out of the room.
"It was part of a deal."
She stopped with one foot out the door and turned around to face him. Eyes red and puffy from her tears.
"What deal?"
Sasuke, as a rule did not lie, it served no purpose to him, but right now he needed anything that would get him down to the secured level.
"He got me and in return he would let Naruto come back."
Sakura’s hand fell away from the doorknob and she stepped back towards him. One second her face lit up in hope, the next the brows furled and she asked a question.
"Why didn’t you tell Tsunade-sama?"
‘Shit’ why did Sakura have to be so damn inquisitive? Closing his eyes so she could not tell he was laying though his teeth, he perpetuated his lie.
"I didn’t want her to think I liked it."
"You know she has no issue with gays."
His cheeks were flushed red and he opened his eyes to stare intently at the edge of the plate in his lap. He had never really thought about it like that. He and Naruto, yeah that was gay, but it just seemed, well, normal.
"Sasuke?"
Looking up as Sakura sat on the bed next to his knees. Eyes alight with hope.
"Did the demon really say that he would bring Naruto back?"
"Yes." He was such a horrible liar.
"How did you get him out to ask him?"
‘Oh fuck.’ Sasuke hated her right now.
"I summoned him and he wont go back until he holds up his part of the deal."
Well, it was not quite anywhere near the truth. The demon could go back whenever he felt like it; he just could not get back out. So of course the beast would hold out for as long as possible.
"But what if the demon doesn’t think he was ‘paid’ enough and try’s to... to get with you again. Your heart still is not strong enough."
"You’ll be there and Iruka has not left his side yet."
That’s it; make her think that she is important. Like she could really make a
difference by being there. She did have the explosive strength from the hokage and was trained in the healing arts, but he had seen what the beast could do when he was pissed off. Not all the kages combined could stop the demon when he really got going.
The pink haired chuunin chewed her lip before reaching over and turning the heart monitor off. If it had been on she would of been able to see his heart leap at the action.
"Alright, but if anything happens, I will drag you back up here,
whether you like it or not."
Deftly she unhooked him from all the IV’s and wires, with the practiced ease of a medical worker and helped him to his feet. She really did not need that much of a push to go see her blond team mate and Sasuke was rather relived that he did not have to fabricate anything more that what he already had.
As soon as he was clear of all the wires and IV’s and standing on the chilled floor tiles, Sakura grabbed a long sleeved shirt and helped him put it on, so that he was covered by more than just the flimsy hospital smock over some sleep pants.
With his arm around her shoulders for support, glad that he did not have to make the journey on his own again and that he was blessedly still medicated enough to not feel the thumping protects from his heart.
None of the guards gave him a second look with Sakura as his guide, not even when they had to stand waiting for the elevator.
The two made there way down to the secured level and was greeted by a hassled looking guard. Who was the only one that did not look like he believed a word Sakura said but still she managed to connive their way in. Her eagerness to help showing that she also wanted to see the blonde’s body back to it’s proper operator.