Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Caress The Insanity ❯ Let the Torture commence! ( Chapter 2 )

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

Inner Pyro: BUT ONE DAY, I SHALL!!! AND THEN I SHALL RULE THE WORLD! MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pyro: --UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

*The Naruto cast is sitting around, looking all fat and happy because they just ate me out of house and home*

Inner Pyro: And for that… THEY SHALL PAY!!!! MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Pyro: --U You scare me…

Inner Pyro: >:-J I know

Pyro: --U

Jiraiya: Hey, sexy lady!

Tsunade: >____<**** Jiraiya…

Jiraiya: I was talking to Pyro, not you, you bitch

Pyro: >______<*********** DON'T INSULT TSUNADE!!!!! SUFFER MY WRATH!!!!

Shadow-Imp Hatake: *pops out of nowhere with a burning hot pan that was recently used to cook scrambled eggs* Hello, froggy-sensei! I hate you! *Hits him with the pan*

Jiraiya: AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! IT BURNS!!!!! IT BURNS!!!!!! *Runs around screaming his head off*

Shadow-Imp Hatake: ^______________________^ *Gives Pyro a salute before disappearing*

Pyro: Byyyyeeee, feel free to come back anytime!

*DIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNGGGGGGGG DDDDDDDDOOOOOONNNNNGGGGGG!*

Cast: *become tone deaf* @__________________@

Pyro: ^()^ That must be our guest!!! *goes off to answer the door*

Itachi: Why is the doorbell so loud?!

Pyro: Well, it's a very big house…

Itachi: -_-UUUUU

Pyro: Ah well who cares. People, listen up!

Cast: *lounge about the kitchen*

Pyro: I SAID LISTEN UP YA BUNCH O' LOSERS THAT CAN'T AMOUNT TO ANYTHING AND HAVE A LESSER VALUE THAN DIRT!!!!!!!

Cast: O___________O Listening ma'am

Pyro: ^_^ Good! Now, I'd like to introduce our guest for the day, Fido!

Fido: ^_______^ HI! *Sees Sasuke* *()* Sasuke-kun!!!!!! *glomp*

Sasuke: O___O… >()< GET OFF ME!!!! *Punches Fido*

Fido: Hey… t-that hurt-t….WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!! T_____T

Pyro: *Turning into a a dragon with fire wings and tail and a million ton mallet and assortment of guns and ammo* SASUKE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sasuke: O__________O…Meep…

Pyro: YOU MADE OUR GUEST CRY!!!!!!!! YOU HAVE VIOLETED CODE 14846237231463489 OF THE RULES OF THIS FIC!!!

Orochimaru: You never established a code…

Pyro: ARE YOU ARGUING WITH ME!!!!????

Orochimaru: O____O No ma'am…

Pyro: GOOD!!!! *Turns to Sasuke* AS FOR YOU…

Sasuke: Um, if I treat Fido real nice for the rest of the chapter, and let her glomp me and huggle me and stuff, will you lessen my punishment?

Pyro: *Blinks* Uhhhh…….. Sure………

Sasuke: THANK YOU!!!!!!!!! *Runs over to Fido* Here, let me help with that wound…

Fido: *sniffle* R-really?

Sasuke: ^_^ Yup *Thinking* I screwed myself, I just KNOW I screwed myself…

Fido: ^____________________________________________^ THANK YOU!!!!!!!! *Glomp*

Sasuke: --UUUUUU Yup… Defiantly screwed myself…

Pyro: *Changes back to normal* ^_^ Well, now that that's settled… o_O? Hey, where's Gaara?

Most of Cast: Uhhhh…..

Naruto: *Looking shifty eyed and whistling innocently*

Sasuke: *Having a Picnic with Fido*

Fido: ^__________^ Here you go Sasuke-kun!!!!! A nice slice of pie!!!!

Sasuke: ^_^ Thank you! *Thinking* I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die…

*Meanwhile*

Kankuro: Well, we've looked everywhere and still haven't found Gaara

Temari: Yup, this is very bad

Pyro: Yeah… o_O? Hey, you guys weren't with everyone else when they came…

Temari: Oh, well, we just kinda dropped out of the sky…

Pyro: OK! ^_______^ WELCOME TO THE CREW!!!!

Kankuro: *whispering to Naruto* Is she always this hyper?

Naruto: Yes

*At the Picnic*

Fido: ^()^ HERE YOU GO SASUKE-KUN A NICE BIG ICE CREAM SUNDAE!!!

Sasuke: ^_^ That's great Fido, but uhhhh…

Fido: What?

Sasuke: I think I'm full…*We zoom back to see that Sasuke has gained about 100 pounds*

Fido: o_O?...^()^ OK! Well, let's go for a walk! *Gets up and starts walking before she releases that Sasuke isn't following her* Sasuke?

Sasuke: Er… I don't think I can walk (Pyro: His legs can't reach the ground)

Fido: Whadda ya mean?

Sasuke: T_____________T My legs won't reach the ground…

Fido: Well then we'll just sit and watch the clouds!

Shikamaru: *Pops out of nowhere* *()* CLOUD WATCHING!!!!!!!!!!! *Flings himself next to Sasuke* And shade… ^_________^

Sasuke: =______=UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU Help me…

Fido and Shika: ^____________________^ *Are completely oblivious to Sasuke's problem*

*With the rest of me worthless crew*

Pyro: ALRIGHT, GAARA, WE GIVE UP!!!!!! COME OUT COME OUT WHEREVER YOU ARE!!!!!!!

Itachi: Must you be so loud?

Pyro: Yes! ^_^

Kakashi: Yes, well, it gets rather annoying so could you please shut your trap and stop talking?

Pyro: *turns back into dragon that was previously mentioned in this chapter* YOU LITTLE BRAT!!!! DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! *Sends him hurtling towards Jupiter with her mallet*

Kakashi: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-*No longer able to hear him*

Pyro: ^_____________________________________________^ Let that be a lesson to the lot of ya! No one insults me unless they want to die!

Rest of Cast apart from Sasuke and Shikamaru: O__________________________________________________________________O

Shino: Wait, Itachi kind of insulted you, so why didn't you kill him?

Pyro: *shifty eyed* No reason…

Inner Pyro: BECAUSE ITACHI IS A HOT, SEXY BADASS THAT I WANT TO HUGGLE ALL DAY!!!!!!!!!!

Pyro: Shut up? They'll hear you!

*With der cloud watching people*

Fido: ^()^ Look, a hippo!

Shikamaru: ^()^ And a train!

Sasuke: T___________________T Someone please help me…

Fido: Wow, where do you see that?

Shikamaru: Over there, look! *points to a random patch of sky*

Fido: o_O? ... ^_^ You're right! Good job Sasuke!

Sasuke: --UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU… o_O? Hey, what's that thing hurtling toward us?

Kakashi: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! *Lands on Sasuke's stomach*

Sasuke: O_______O OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

Kakashi: Ow… Oh, hello Sasuke! How are you?

Sasuke: >_________<******* NOT VERY GOOD THANK YOU!!!!!

Kakashi: Sorry to hear that… o_O? ... ^_^ Cloud watching! *Plops down beside Shikamaru*

Sasuke: T________________________________T Help….

*With Me*

Pyro: Well, can you find him Neji?

Neji: *Using his Byakugan* Nope

Kiba: That settles it. We've tried my nose, Shino's bugs, Kakashi's dogs, Orochimaru's snakes and the Byakugan and we STIL HAVEN'T FOUND HIM!!!! HE'S NOT HERE!!!!!!

Pyro: Yes, he is. Itachi can fell his chakra, he just can't pinpoint the location

Itachi: *muttering* And it's pissing me off! I'm supposed to be a prodigy! I should be able to find him!

Chouji: It's ok, Itachi. We all make mistakes

Itachi: *grumbles* … Wait… Why are you being nice to me?

Chouji: I don't know… SOMEONE HAS TAKEN OVER OUR MINDS AND TURNED US INTO FRIENDS!!!! THE ALIENS HAVE WON!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Runs around screaming his head off*

Itachi: o_O Okay…

Pyro: ^_______________^ Actually he was being nice to you because in this world you don't have a choice but to be together so I decided to make everyone not feel the urge to kill each other!

Orochimaru: But we can still hate each other, right?

Pyro: Of course! You just can't kill each other

Orochimaru: Okay! ^_^ *We zoom back to see he's on Manda who is munching on Jiraiya*

Jiraiya: X_________________________X Help…

Manda: ^___________^ Frogs… Yummy…

Everyone else: -________-UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

*Poor, poor Sasuke…*

Sasuke: T__________T I'M GONNA BE FAT FOREVER IF SOMEONE DOESN'T HELP ME!!!!!!!!!! I'LL EVEN ASK A RABID FANGIRL, JUST SOMEONE PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!! (Pyro: O_______O A RABID FANGIRL!!!!???? HE REALLY IS DESPERATE!!!!!)

Fido, Kakashi and Shikamaru: ^_______^ *completely ignoring Sasuke*

Kakashi: Look, there's a flower

Shikamaru: And a clock

Fido: And a kunai! *Tugs at Sasuke's shirt* Do you see the kunai, Sasuke-kun?

Sasuke: T_________________________T

*We STILL can't find Gaara*

Sakura: Where is Gaara? We've been looking for over an hour!

Tenten: Yeah, my feet hurt!

Lee: Well, maybe if you hadn't walked across those burning coals in the meditation room…

Tenten: Er, shut up! You have stupid hair!

Lee: T-Tenten… HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT?! WAAAAAAAAAH!!! T_T

Gai: Tenten, that was very mean! For that, you shall do 10 miles!

Tenten: O_O WHAT?!?!?!?! HELL NO!!!

Gai: I'm your sensei and you must obey me!

Ino: Tenten shouldn't have to do 10 miles!

Sakura: Yeah!

Hinata: I agree! ...o_O? Why am I not stuttering?

Neji: Because this is obviously a world where none of us has our regular personalities because Pyro doesn't see them fit for… wherever we are

Pyro: CORRECT NEJI!!

Neji: -_-U… o_O? Where's Gai-sensei?

*The Torture Room*

Sakura: MWUHAHAHAHAHA!!! Gai, you have met your fate!

Ino: It's time… FOR YOUR DEMISE!!!!

Gai: NO!!! NOT THAT! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!!!

Tenten: Yes Gai. It's… SCISSORS!!!

Gai: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! WHAT ARE YOU GONING TO DO?!?!?!?

Hinata: Nothing much… JUST GIVE YOU A NEW HAIR STYLE!!! (Pyro: Is it just me, or is Hinata WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY OOC?)

Gai: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! NOT A NEW HAIR STYLE!!!! PLEASE, HAVE MERCY!!!!!

Tenten: Did you have mercy on me when I stated a sad but true fact about Lee? NO! And now, you shall pay!

All girls: MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! *Slowly advance toward Gai*

Gai: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

*Ya know, ya really gotta wonder why no one has bothered to help Sasuke*

Kakashi: Cloud watching is so much fun!!!!

Fido: I know!

Shikamaru: Mmmhmm!

Sasuke: *Thinking* Ok God, if you really are all that great, then you will save me!

God: *Mentally, to Sasuke* I'm on vacation! Come back later!

Sasuke: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! MY LAST HOPE IS GONE!!!!!!!!

Fido: Sasuke-kun, is something wrong?

Sasuke: YES SOMETHING IS WRONG!!!

Fido: Oh… Well, can I help?

Sasuke: Do you have anyway to make a person lose 300 pounds in three seconds?

Fido: No, sorry

Sasuke: Oh… *Thinking* OH THE HUMANITY!!! COME ON, I'LL EVEN ACCEPT HELP FROM ITACHI!!! ITACHI!! DOES THAT TELL YOU HOW DESPRATE I AM?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! (Pyro: O___________________________O ITACHI!!! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TOO?!?!?!?!?!?)

Shikamaru: Fido, look, a pineapple!

Fido: ^()^ YEAH!!!

Sasuke: *Thinking* COME ON, ITACHI FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!! ITACHI!!! YOU CAN'T NOT HELP ME NOW THAT I'VE SAID THAT!!!!!!!

*Girls are very protective of one another*

Ino: Look at our creation!

Sakura: It's hideous…

Tenten: I know…

Hinata: >:-J You see, Gai, it never pays to underestimate the bonding of the female species!

Other three: YEAH!

Gai: T______________________________________T MY HAIR!!! MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR!!!

Girls: MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pyro: *Off screen* Tenten? Ino? Sakura? Hinata? Gai? Come on, don't tell me you guys are lost too!

Ino: We're in here, Pyro-chan!

*Screen shifts to Pyro and everyone with her*

Pyro: o_O? The torture room? ^_^;;;; I don't think Gai will be in any good terms when we see him…

Lee: What do you mean?! Gai-sensei is invincible!

Neji: Which is why Kakashi has 49 wins against him…

Lee: That's probably because Kakashi cheated!

Naruto: Kakashi-sensei wouldn't cheat!

Pyro: I think that's the least of our worries right now. *Opens door to torture room*

*DUN DUN DUN!!!!!!!!*

Cast that was with me: O_______________________________________O

Gai: T_____________________________T

Girls: MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

Pyro: --U Wonderful…

*Camera focuses on Gai, who now is half bald and half buzz cut*

Lee: GAI-SENSEI!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Gai: Lee, I have learned much today! Never underestimate to power of woman bonding!

All girls present: HELL YEAH, DAMN IT!!!

Rest of Guys: O_____________O

Jiraiya: Remind me never to get on the bad side of a woman

Pyro and Tsunade: It's too late for that now Jiraiya!

Jiraiya: o_O Shit…

*Sasuke needs help*

Sasuke: T___________T I need help…

Fido: Sasuke-kun, are you sure there's nothing to make you feel better?

Sasuke: Yes, Fido

Fido: Ok…

Porcupine: *Comes walking by and spots Sasuke* o_O? … ^()^ SHADE!! *Plops himself down right between the ground and Sasuke, so his spikes go into Sasuke's back*

Sasuke: OOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!! *Begins to deflate* o_O? *Air starts spurting out of needle holes* O_____O AAAAAAAAAA!!!

Fido: SASUKE-KUN!!!!!

Sasuke: *Is launched into the air and starts going toward the house* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!

Fido: SASUKE-KUN!!!!!!!! *Chases after him*

Kakashi, Shikamaru and the Porcupine: Awwww… The shade left…

*Everyone else is admiring Gai's new do*

Iruka: I can't believe you girls did that to Gai

Lee: T_______________T WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!! POOR GAI-SENSEI!!!!!

Gai: T________________T WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! POOR ME!!!!!

Pyro: Oh, quit your whining and act more mature

Gai: T__________T WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH-

Pyro: I SAID SHUT UP!!!!!

Gai: O_O Yes ma'am

Shino: *Looking out the window* o_O? What's that thing coming toward the house?

Kiba: *Sniffs* O_O SASUKE?!?!?!?!?!?!

Sasuke: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-*Crashes through window and speeds down the hallway into a door with a bar holding it closed a.k.a the curse room*

CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sasuke: *Now in a crumpled heap along with the curse room door and… GAARA!!!* X_____________________________________________________________X

Gaara: X____________________________________________________X

Pyro: ^()^ Hey, look! We found Gaara! He was in the curse room!

Kankuro: Why didn't you check the curse room along with the other rooms?

Pyro: *Shrugs*

Kankuro: -_-UUUU

Fido: *Comes running in from the stairs* SASUKE-KUN!!!!!!!!!!! *Runs over to him* Speak to me! Are you alright!!!!

Sasuke: …no…

Fido: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! SOMEONE CALL 911!!!! GET AN AMBULENCE!!!! SASUKE-KUN NEEDS HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pyro: He'll be fine by next chapter

Fido: NO!! HE NEEDS HELP NOW!!!!!!

Pyro: TOO BAD!!! HE AIN'T GONNA GET IT!!!!!!!!!!

Fido: Fine… I guess I should leave then. BBBBBBBBYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, SASUKE-KUN!!!!! THANK YOU PYRO!!!!!!!!!!

Pyro: You're welcome! Feel free to come back anytime!!!

Sasuke: …bye…Fido…

Ino, Tenten and Sakura: HEY!!!!! HOW COME HE SAYS BYE TO HER AND WON'T GIVE US A SECOND GLANCE!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Pyro: Because you guys are annoying, and therefore present an aura of foreboding to yourselves

Ino, Tenten and Sakura: T_____________T WE'LL TAKE OUR ANGER OUT ON GAI!!!!! *Slam door shut and soon Gai screaming can be heard*

Everyone else except Gaara, Pyro, Fido and Sasuke: O____________________O

Pyro: ^_^UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Gaara: X__________________________X The sand… it didn't… help me…

Sasuke: that wasn't… what I meant… by help…

Fido: BYE!!!!

Pyro: THANKS FOR COMING!!! FEEL FREE TO RETURN AT ANY TIME!!!! *To readers* See yas!!!!!!