Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Carry on Naruto! ❯ Resident Fangirl ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Title: Resident Fangirl; Or, Naruto and Sasuke's first date

Author: Saffron and Spoony

Fandom: Naruto

Pairing: SasuNaru, KakaIru, TemaHin, SakuIno

Genre: Crack!fic, humour, romance

Rating: Errrr…15?

Chapter(s): One-shot

Warning(s): Crack humour, randomness, mentions of sexual activities, innuendo, bad language

Disclaimer: Masashi Kishimoto owns Naruto, not us *weeps*

Summary: All Naruto wants is for Sasuke to treat him to some goddamn ramen!

Spoilers: Er, I'm not sure. Let's just say everything!

Author notes:

Spoony: A seriously silly Crack fic me and my Wifey Saffy created together. All I can say is we've read too many Sasu Naru fics and I've been playing way too much Resi Evil 4! ^^

Saffy: This one ended up being kinda tricky. There is randomness, of course but geeze, it's hard to do crack when plot gets in the way, and my God is Sasuke ever hard to write, which is great cos I'm the one that always seem to end up writing him and Shino -_-;;

Of course the characters had to go and make it hard. Sasuke is, as Spoony put it, `A knobber' (Britspeak for bastard), and I said that Naruto needed `To be hit with the clue brick' And I stay by those statements!

Naruto TEEEEEEEEEEEMEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

Sasuke: Dobe, I'm right next to you. You'll make me deaf!

Naruto: Oh right. Buy me ramen?

Sasuke: Why the Hell would I do that?

Naruto: Because I'm great, and you owe me big for saving you from that Snake Paedo

Sasuke: Tch, I didn't need saving

Naruto: Yeah you did you Emo Teme You!! He was all over you like Itachi on weed!

Sasuke: He eyed you up as well, not surprising, blondes are so easy...

Naruto: HEY!

Sasuke: Dumb, too

Naruto: One more word out of you teme and I'll show you how dumb I can be!

Sasuke: I already know. Remember when I told you instant ramen came from ponds, and you believed me?

Naruto: You're such an ass, I don't know why I bother with you

Sasuke: And you're such a dumbass *Starts to walk away*

Naruto: Hey! Don't you walk away from me!

Sasuke: Well, I thought we were going to Ichiraku

Naruto: ... Oh... *Growls and walks past Sasuke* Teme...

Sasuke: Dobe...

*walks faster*

Naruto: Ha! Can't catch me! *runs*

Sasuke: *Jumps on top of a building, jumps from roof to roof*

Naruto: Huh? OH it's on now! *Leaps onto the opposite buildings roof and leaps along too*

Sasuke: Nice to see you've caught up!

Naruto: Teme! *Throws a kunai at his head*

Sasuke: *Ducks, then freezes* ...Did you hear that?

Naruto: Eh? *Looks around* Nice try teme!

Sasuke: *In a cold sweat* No, seriously, I can hear... Konoha fangirls

Naruto: ... *Starts to giggle and then starts to laugh* Hahahahaha, ah sweeeeeeet. The almighty Uchiha scared of a few fangirls!

Naruto: *Whistles* He's over here girls!

Sasuke: NO, DON'T NARUTO!!!

*The loud thunder of Fangirls drew ever closer*

Random Skank #1: OMG, It's SASUKE-KUN!!

Random Skank #2: Lets rip his undies off and sell them on eBay!

Random Skank#3: Lets steal his shuriken, they're strapped to his manly thigh! 0o0

Random Skank #4: I want his BAAAAAAAAAAABIES!

Mysterious Masked Girl that is SO not Hinata: L-lets find Naruto and have them kiss in front of us while we take pictures!

Naruto: SAY WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?

*Crying* what the hell is wrong with these freaks?

Skanks: HELL YEAH YAOI!!!!!

Sasuke: Eugh, I'm allergic to girls, let's get out of here!

Naruto: KAGE BUSHIN! *100 Naruto's appear and run off in different directions*

RS #1: what the hell? Where did he go?

MMGTISNH:*Blood drips from her mask* G-grab a Naruto each girls till we find the real one!

*Sasuke makes stealthy escape, heading towards the academy*

Naruto: *Looks back as the fan girls capture and ravage his Kage Bushin* Nooooooooo! You fucking skanks! Leave them alone

Kage Bushin Naruto #1: Don't leave me like this! D-Gaaaaaaaaaaah! *Gets dragged away by the sea of rabid fan girls*

Naruto: Sasuke! Help!*looks away*, O the humanity!!

MMGTISNH: *Grabs 5 Naruto's per hand* It's Christmas!

Naruto: *Starts screaming* You monsters! *Stares at MMGTISNH* How could you? That's just sick!

MMGTISNH: *With her busy, busy hands* I'm in heaven...

Sasuke: Oh for the love of...*Sneaks up to original Naruto * Dobe, when you use Kage Bushin, you can run away to save yourself. Just a suggestion...

Naruto: But we can't leave them! *Watches as another two of his clones gets molested* It's not fair!

Sasuke: Would you rather they caught us?

Naruto:*blinks and pales* ... Good point *Grabs Sasuke and starts running*

Sasuke: I ran to the school earlier, its empty there!

*The two ninjas peg it towards the school. not looking back on the carnage and the screams*

*Sasuke picks lock and opens door* Sorry Naruto, maybe your clones will have happier lives this way

Clone: Oh god no! Not there! ARRRRRRRRRRGH!

Sasuke: o.o

Naruto: *Sniff sniff* Hang in there guys *Both fall into the academy and bolt the doors* You won't suffer in vein.

Sasuke: *rolls eyes* It's your own fault calling the fangirls over. You haven't had to deal with those freaks for years like me *emo*

Naruto: Well how was I supposed to know they were gonna turn on me like that? It's not like I'm that hot... besides you noticed that masked girl?

*shivering* Damn Teme, I never wanna be you... not after that!

Sasuke: She pops up every now and then, but she usually isn't that much trouble. She...used to follow you around a lot

Naruto: 0_0 NANI? *Jaw drops to the floor* What do you mean she `used' to follow me around? HOW COME NO ONE TOLD ME I HAD A STALKER?

Sasuke: I think some of the older ninja noticed, and no one else watched you- *realises what he just said* -Uh...

Naruto: Huh?

*Bang bang bang*

Naruto: Oh shit! *Looks out the window* Teme we're surrounded!

Sasuke: How the Hell did they find us?

RS#12: Sasuke-kun, I want to be your wife!

RS# 7: Saaaaaaaasuke-kun

Naruto: Kuso! This is just like those zombie films Shino likes...

RS#49: Your coldness is so cooool! ^^

RS#18: Come out Sasuke-kun, we just wanna touch you...

Naruto: No wait, does that one looks like Orochimaru!?

Sasuke: *Disturbed to his very core* Let's find a classroom with triple locks!

*Window breaks*

Naruto: Let's! *Runs off with Sasuke further into the school*

MMGTISNH: Minions! Ff-follow them and l-let us make them have teh b-butt sex!

Fangirls: YAAAAAAAAARGH!

*Sasuke and Naruto run into the gym, the only exits are the double doors they came through, a storage room, ands mall high windows*

Sasuke: Stand back Naruto! *Uses small Katon jutsu to seal main door*

Naruto: Fuck, we're so doomed! *sweating a little, glares at his stomach* Now would be a good time for you to do something you stupid senile fox!

~Kyuubi: Pfft, why help this is fun?~

Sasuke: Dobe why are you talking to your stomach!?

Naruto: Er... nothing *Under his breath, stupid fox fucking up my life* How long do you think those doors will hold?

Sasuke: Unless they have blowtorches, forever. *Sits heavily* What a night, how can this get any weird- *Scuffling noise from store room*

Sasuke: !?

Naruto: 0_o *Grabs hold of Sasuke and hides behind him* What the hell is that teme?

Sasuke: I don't know *Pulls out kunai*

*Waits*

*Door slides open*

Sasuke: .........Kakashi!?

Kakashi: *Waves*Yo

Naruto: *Faints*

Sasuke: What the-

Other voice in store room: Who is it, Kakashi?

Kakashi: Er... no one *Pushes Sasuke back to hide his guest* Say, what are you doing here?

Sasuke: Fangirls

Kakashi: *Sweat drops* Again? *Sigh* What have I told you about walking around in public? Especially with him *Points at Naruto's twitching comatose body* For a genius you're not that smart Sasuke-kun

Other Voice: Kakashi, Hurry up I'm getting cold!

Sasuke: I was supposed to treat the dobe to ramen, then we were going to go train. Goddamn fangirls need to get a life! So why are YOU here? *Looks around the Jounin*

*Nearly has heart attack*

Kakashi: Er, now it's not what you think *Rubs the back of his neck*

Iruka: Hey, come on, this dolphin needs some lovin'- *Sees Sasuke* OH MY GOD!

Sasuke/Kakashi: *Clamp a hand over Iruka's mouth*

Sasuke: ....*Eye twitch* So, is there a reason why two instructors are in school after hours, half naked and in the gym storeroom *Vein throbbing in his forehead*

Kakashi/Iruka: Er... special training?

*Groans and wolf whistling increase outside*

Naruto: *Wakes up* Huh? What's goi-...*Sees Kaka/Iru* AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE WAT THE HELL?

Sasuke: Shhh! *Covers his mouth* They'll hear you, idiot!

*Thump Thump Thump*

Fangirls: Yaaaaaaaaaoiiiiiiiiii

Saaaaaaaaaaaaasuke

Sasuke: Too late...

MMGTISNH: We k-know you're in there... so come out.... l-literally!

Naruto: Come out? Huh?

~Kyuubi: Oh Kit, you're so dense...~

Kakashi: So so dense

Iruka: Like a brick

Sasuke: ...

*Bam, bam, bam BOOM!*

Kakashi/Sasuke: Let's get the fuck out of here!

Naruto: Iruka SENSEI! Put some damn clothes on!

Sasuke: You too, Kakashi. I don't want to add "Seeing Kakashi's third eye" to my list of childhood traumas

Naruto: Third Eye? 0_o

------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------

*Somewhere else in Konoha*

Sai: Someone just made a penis-based quip!

Sasuke: *Twitch*

Iruka: Never mind

Fangirls: THIIIIIIIIIRD EYEEEEEEEEEE

Sasuke: Damn it Naruto, it's a good thing you're so cute... I mean-er...ESCAPE! Yes, now, escape good!!

Naruto: Wha? *Gets grabbed by Sasuke and lets the taller male drag him out of harms way*

Kaka/Iruka: God, when will they ever get it together?

*Somewhere else in Konoha*

Sakura: Urgh *Clasps head* Something's wrong... the fangirl seal...it's burning

Sakura: Must... help... Sasuke-kun *Starts running towards the school*

Ino: Sakura, what about my massage!?

*Meanwhile on the outskirts of Konoha*

Mysterious Girl in Black With Fan: Soon, soon you will be mine... *Leaps off toward the

school*

*Back at the school*

Kakashi: Okay, the fangirls can't reach the high windows (Thank God), so we'll climb up, escape, and we'll split and make our own filthy way into the night *dirty leer*

Iruka: *Sigh* Or we could just leave the filth out of it

Sasuke: He's right, any more filth and the fangirls will sense us and we'll never lose them

Naruto: Sounds like a plan, lets do it!

Iruka/Sasuke: No filth!!

Naruto: *Scratches head* What? What did I say?

Kakashi: Didn't Jiriya teach you anything?

Naruto: No, I stopped listening to him months ago! The old geezer's gone senile, just saying stuff like 'Spit Roast', 'Dirty Sanchez', and 'Bukkake' then laughing crazily!!

Sasuke: ...BUKKAKE???

MMGTISNH: Oh no *nosebleed*

Fangirls: POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORN!

Iruka: Oh my God, I can hear them foaming!

*The fangirls start having mass nosebleeds and trying to clammer into the school even more*

MMGTISNH: Yes, my p-pretties! Get them!

Kakashi: Time to go *Heads towards their 'exit' at an alarming pace*

*All 4 channel chakra into their feet, jump up to wall*

*Throw them selves out of the window and perform perfect roll to stand.*

*Random old man nearby holds up 10.0 sign*

Iruka: Yes, nearly... *Looks around him* SHIT!

The four ninjas are surrounded by a hundred or more foaming, nose bleeding fangirls*

Sasuke: *frowns* Who says fangirls can't climb?

Kakashi: Ehehe *sweat drop*... oh my…

Sasuke: How the hell are we going to get out of this?

Naruto: I don't know teme, this is all your fault for being hot and all!

Sasuke: Why don't you and Kakashi do another Kage Bunshin?

Naruto:*Grabs Sasuke's collar and brings his face close to his own* There's no way I'm putting my guys through that again!

Fangirls: *Watching Sasu/Naru* Oooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh pooooooooooooorn

Iruka: Er... guys...

Sasuke: *rolls eyes* Oh come on Dobe, don't be such a... well, dobe!

Fangirls: Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm teeeeeeeension

Kakashi: I really think...

Iruka: That's a first!

Fangirls: Seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeexy meeeeeeeeeeeen

Kakashi: Not now Iruka, I can't 'Punish' you in front of all these... things

Fangirls: *nosebleed some more*

Fangirls: *river of drool*

Iruka: Any plans, smart man?

Kakashi: ...Getting the fuck out of here springs to mind

Naruto: SOME BODY SAVE ME!

*As a group of fangirls begin to charge suddenly a pink blur whirls past the men and sends the fan girls flying*

Sakura: BACK THE FUCK AWAY!

All men: o_0;;;;

Sakura: *Turns round* Oh hey guys. *Blushes* Sasuke-kun. What's up?

Sasuke: ...Crazy fangirls...want me to either breed with them or...uh, Naruto. Uh, Dobe, you can let go of my collar now *Slight blush*

Naruto: Huh? *Blushes* Oh, er... whatever teme *Shoves him away*

Sakura: I see, so that's why my seal was acting up *Ponders the problem whilst knocking another fangirl out*

Kaka/Iruka/Naru/Sasu: Seal?

Fangirls: Whuuuuuuut?

Sakura: You know, my Sasuke Fangirl seal? *Takes off her glove and points to the back of her left hand* Every hardcore Sasuke fangirl had to have one installed to control our urges, so he could have a life

Everyone: Huh?

Sakura: Look at your left hand. Tsunade made all hardcore fans get it under a new law, called 'Getafuckinlife'. I think its Latin for something

Everyone: Oh

Sakura: But today my seal has been acting funny, so funny I couldn't even give Ino her special massage...

MMGTISNH: Oh my *nosebleed*

*Ino hurries in* Sakuraaaaa, why'd you leave? I had to wipe off all the coconut oil...

MMGTISNH: *convulses*

Kakashi: *Starts scribbling down notes whilst everyone else is too shocked to speak*

Sasuke: ...Hinata? ...No, it can't be...

Naruto: Hey what's with that girl? Her mask is bleeding...

MMGTISNH: Uh, no I'm not... a-any way *Wiping her nose* E-Enough! Get w-with the Man l-love already!

Fangirls: *Eyes glowing red* Yeeaaaaaaaaaaaaah

*S+N cling to each other.........in a totally non-gay way*

Kakashi: Well okay *Snogs Iruka*

Fangirls: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAH! *Super nose bleed*

Sakura and Ino: Wow... 0-0

MMGTISNH: *Swoons* Ahem, WAIT! No you guys! *points to Naru/Sasu* THEM!

*Random old man* Back in my day we didn't have rivers of blood round the school, damn kids! *waves cane*

Sasu/Naru: Us??

MMGTISNH: Y-yes! To end this madness, you m-must confess a-all and *Gigglepervsnosebleed* Kiss!

Fangirls: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BABY! WOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOO!

Sasu/Naru: *Blush* NO WAY!

Sasuke: The d-dobe!?

Naruto: Not that stuck up bastard!!

Sakura: Hey it's not like you haven't done it before

Sasu/Naru: THAT DOESNT COUNT!! *BLUSH*

Kakashi: Oh come on guys, whats one lil' kiss between almost boyfriend and boyfriend?

Fangirls: YEAH!

Sasu/Naru: *Blushes and mutterings of I don't wanna kiss that idiot/bastard*

Ino: So why are you two still clinging to each other?

Sasu/Naru: Er...

Fangirls, Sakura, Ino, Kaka/Iruka: JUST KISS ALREADY!

*They look at each other, glups*

*Slowly lean forward to each other...*

*A shadow falls over the group* Masked Girl!

MMGTISNH: Temari *Drool*

Temari: There you are, I've been looking all over for you!

Kakashi: I'd tap that. *Gets punched by Iruka*

Temari: Wait… *Looks around and puts hand on hips and stares at the masked girl* Have you been playing megalo-pervert again?

MMGTISNH: Er...*Blushes* maybe*

Temari: *Sighs* Does Neji know you have his mask tonight? Friday's his prank night

MMGTISNH: I-I-I *Takes off mask*

Everyone: *Gasp* HINATA-CHAN????

Temari/Ino/Sakura: Like you couldn't tell?

Kakashi/Sasuke: I knew it!

Naruto: Hinata-Chan, how could you?

Hinata: G-gomen, Naruto-kun *Glomps Temari* do you have on your fishnet underwear?

Temari: *Prying Hinata's hands away from her supple body* Not now, first of all you've got to undo that new Jutsu of yours, then I'll let you find out *Wink*

Naruto: I think I know what happened! The masked girl did a kind of Kawarimi no Jutsu and swapped places with Hinata! *Shakes fist in air* How could you, mega-perv?? Sweet Hinata would never do that sort of thing! Luckily I, Uzumaki Naruto, saw right through the deception!! *Proud*

Everyone else: 0_o... How are you so dense?

Kakashi: New Jutsu? Hinata?

Hinata: Well.. I-I kinda found a w-way to utalise and control of the Sasuke fangirl's chakra and minds through the Sasuke-kun F-fangirl seal and well... tada!

Sasuke: That's brilliant... but so very very wrong

Temari: Now come on Hinata, release these fangirls back into the wild so we can go have some wild sex

Hinata: O-Okay *Henge*

*De-foamed fangirls* Wha-What just happened?

Sakura: Okay girls break it up, nothing to see here... wait is that Orochimaru?

Sasuke: 0_o

Orochimaru: *Paedo-TELEPORTATION*

~kukukukukuku, such lovely photos....~

Sasuke: ...Urge to kill rising...

Kakashi: Well now everything seems back to normal, I think we'll be heading home, right my little Chuunin? *Gropes Iruka*

Sasuke: *While no one is looking, mutters* Lets get out of here, dobe

Naruto: *Dazed from what's been happening* Huh?

Sasuke: *Still a little red, awkwardly* Let's go. I think we need to um...talk

Naruto: Oh... okay *Blushes slightly* Lead the way teme

*Leaving the chaos at the school behind, Naruto and Sasuke slip away*

*Later that evening…*

Sasuke: So...um. Do you still want Ramen?

Naruto: Uh sure... *Bites lip* Hey, Sasuke... that whole thing at the school, with Hinata... how did you know it was her?

Sasuke: I figured the girl was about our age, and Hinata is the only girl we know that stutters, and she only stutters around people she likes. Plus the voice was a bit of a give away. *smirks*

Naruto: *Frowning* Yeah, but I mean... how did you know someone was stalking me and?

Sasuke: Um,*cracks knuckles nervously*...Because...I...have always noticed you

Naruto: *Thinks hard for a minute*... Well duh, I'm very noticeable. My clothes are bright orange!

Sasuke: *Jaw goes slack for a minute as he realises Naruto has missed the point yet again* Yeah...*Smirks* Like an eyesore

Naruto: Pfft yeah, and you'd know all about eyesores now would you Sasuke, you and your damn eyes. Stupid teme... but seriously, why?

Sasuke: *Slightly red still * Well, uh, it was pretty obvious that she likes you. Or liked, anyway

Naruto: Huh? *Thinking for a minute* I don't get it. I mean I know I'm hot and all but...

Sasuke: But what?

Naruto: ...Well, I mean... I'm not well... gah, teme don't make me say it!

Sasuke: *Stops walking* Naruto...say what?

Naruto:n... I'm not.. well you. Why would someone want to stalk me when they can stalk you? I know I'm awesome and everything, but you're the pretty boy here

~Kyuubi: and he doesn't smell like ramen~

Sasuke: Pretty?

Naruto: Well yeah, *Coughs and looks away to hide a blush* I mean that's what all your fangirls say right?

Not that I think you're pretty or nuffink

~Kyuubi: Denial ain't the river in Egypt kit, so get your butt out of it! *Mental bitch slaps Naruto*~

Sasuke: I'm...well, I'm kinda surprised that you think no one would be interested. Because you...*Going red again* I mean, uh...you're…really cute

Naruto: *Stops* HUH? 0_0

Sasuke: I think...you're really cute. And *Uncomfortable* I really respect you

Naruto: *Backing away slightly* Er... teme are you okay? You're not acting your usual asshole self. Did one of those fangirls bite you or something? *Gasps* Holy crap maybe you've gotten rabies or something. We should get you to Baa-chan fast! *Grabs Sasuke's arms and starts to tug him toward the Hokage's office*

Sasuke: You baka

Naruto: Teme, Come on you could be like dying or something! *Puts the back of his hand to Sasuke's head* You're burning up!

Sasuke: *going super red* I'm fine

Naruto: No you're not, there's no way my Sasuke-teme would ever say that stuff to me, unless he was really sick! Or an impostor...

Sasuke: How about if I set you on fire with a Katon jutsu, would that convince you? You're so dense!

Naruto: Hey I'm not dense, I'm serious! How they do I know it's the real Sasuke. My teme would never say I was cute or tell me he watches me and stuff like that. *Pulls out a kunai* you could be one of those creepy fangirls trying to do something to me!

Sasuke: I'm going home to train, you're such a baka yarou I'll probably punch your stupid face right now *Stomps off*

Naruto: Hey wait! *Runs after him and jumps in front of Sasuke, grabbing both of his arms so he couldn't move* OI!

Sasuke: What!?

Naruto: I'm not moving until you prove to me who you really are!

Sasuke: Do you really think I'd never say anything nice to you??

Naruto: Sasuke can be nice, but cute? No way!

Sasuke: Why? What makes you think I wouldn't call you cute? You just called me pretty, or are you too stupid to remember? Did you finally switch your tiny brain for a spare bowl of ramen!?

Naruto: Hey I did not call you cute! And my brain is fine thank you very much you teme-wannabe! *Holds his wrists tighter* Now fess up, who is this really!

Sasuke: I'M SASUKE! Do a dispel jutsu if you don't believe me!

Naruto: Pfft I'm not falling for that one, soon as let go you'll try and kill me.

If you're really Sasuke, prove it!

Sasuke: Like?

Naruto: I dunno... something Sasuke like!

~Kyuubi: You are a total moron, you know that kit?~

Sasuke: What was that?

Naruto: Huh? What was what? Stop trying to confuse me damnit and stop avoiding the question! Who are you and what did you do to my Teme?

Sasuke: I told you, I'm Sasuke. I've known you all my life, insulted you ever since we became genins, and you are probably the stupidest shinobi in the history of Konoha

Naruto: *Pushes his face closer to Sasuke's* You certainly look like teme, you have his eyes, sound like him too.... but he would never call me cute!

*Still not convinced at all* And I don't think there's anything you can do to prove it either, so I'm taking you to Baa-chan right now!

Sasuke: Geeze, dobe. I wish you had someone to give you a psychic bitchslap every now and then!

~Kyuubi: I try *Shrug*~

Naruto: Come on! *Starts to try and drag Sasuke toward the Hokage office and trips up* AH!

Sasuke: Oh fu-*Both tumble to the ground*

Naruto:*Lands underneath Sasuke* Owwwww

~Kyuubi: why do I have to get stuck with such a klutz?~

Sasuke: Stupid idiot...

Naruto: *Snapping out of it, starts to blush* Gah not again!

Sasuke: *Staring at Naruto* ...

Naruto: *Muttering* This is just like the time when we were kids only... only we're at the academy and you were Sasuke *Blushing madly*

Sasuke: *Leans down to Naruto's face* I am Sasuke... you dobe

Naruto: *Blushing more and more so his face is bright red* No...

~Kyuubi: KISS HIM YOU FOOL!~

Sasuke: Why no?

Naruto: Because Sasuke wouldn't call me cute, he wouldn't want to and he would've gotten off of me already and started calling me names and yelling I had cooties, and his face wouldn't be close like yours right now...

~Kyuubi: Kit, seriously stop being dense and kiss him already. DO IT!~

Sasuke: *Why do I bother with this moron?* Usuratonkachi... *Leans down*

*soft brush of lips*

Naruto: 0_O *Eyes drift shut before breaking the kiss.* Sasuke... *Blinks* It IS you!

Sasuke: *Rolls eyes* I had to kiss you for you to finally believe me? We only kissed once, when we became Genins!

Naruto: Yeah, but I'd know those lips anywhere, you never forget your first kiss!

~Kyuubi: You're such a girl...~

Sasuke: o.0 You, you...

Naruto: ....What? *Tilting his head to the side*

Sasuke: I've...run out of insults, your stupidity is so overwhelming

Naruto: Hey! I AM SO NOT STUPID! >_< See if you ever get kissed by me ever again, stupid fucking teme, kissing me then tellin' me I'm stupid for knowing it was him... Ya know most people would be flattered that to hear that someone can tell who they are by kiss alone, but no. You just have to be a bitch about it. Well fuck you, I ain't kissing you no more *Pushes Sasuke off him and storms off*

Sasuke: *Growls* Well I just had to convince you who I was! Did you really think it was so impossible I'd find you cute??

Naruto: *Stops dead* Eh... shit, you really think I'm cute? Oh…

Sasuke:*sighs throwing his hands up in the air* Yes I do!

Naruto: *Blushes all over* Well... I mean you don't like me that... do you?

Sasuke: *Slightly red* Well, you...oh fuck it, this is why I never talk about anything. I like you, you're a dribbling idiot, but I do. I hate a lot of things and a lot of people, but not you. There, go ahead, laugh your fucking head off *Stands, starts to walk off the opposite way*

Naruto: *Shaking* Hey, you know I like you too ya know. *shuffles feet* I er... really like you. Ya know, 'LIKE' Like..

Sasuke: *Stops, looks at Naruto*...

Naruto: ... Er... *Rubs his neck* So yeah.

Sasuke: *Hesitates for a moment, starts walking back* So I like you, and you like me *Stops right in front of the blonde* So what should we do?

Naruto: Er... I don't really know *Giggle nervously* Any ideas teme?

Sasuke: *Hesitantly lifts his hand to touch Naruto's face*

Naruto: *Leans into the touch* Hehe teme

Sasuke: ...Say my name

Naruto: Er... Sasuke?

Sasuke: *Leans closer* Again...

Naruto: Sasuke, what the?

*Sasuke kisses Naruto deeply*

*Naruto leans into the kiss and wraps his arms around Sasuke's waist whilst the Uchiha captures the blonde's face with his hands*

Naruto: *Breaking kiss* Oh I get it now... *Grinning* Sasuke, Sasuke, SASUKE!

~Kyuubi: FINALLY… uh oh~

*Sasuke smirks slightly* Well, if you insist *Takes his hand and leads him to nearby wall. Pushes Naruto slightly to the wall and kisses him again, pushing his body against him*

Naruto: *In between kisses* Teme...

*Somewhere else in Konoha Village*

Hinata: My nose is bleeding again!

Temari: Oh God not again *Reaches for the Kleenex tissues*

*Little do Sasuke and Naruto know they've been watched this whole time from the rooftops*

Iruka: Well, thank God for that

Kakashi: Makes me proud *Watches as Sasuke molests Naruto, scribbles notes*

Iruka: ¬.¬ Will you quit with the notes? You writing the next Icha Icha book?

Kakashi: Hell yeah. Icha Icha Fangirl over load!

Iruka: *Grumbles under breath*

*And as the two boys continued to make out and put hands in places that are naughty and X-rated, little did they know that the groaning of a thousand fangirls could be heard drawing ever nearer...*

OWARI

A Saffron and Spoony Production.