Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Carry on Naruto! ❯ Halloween, Part Deux! ( Chapter 8 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Sakura: HEY! Is that my dress?

Voice behind door: But Tenten-chan, you're so cute!

Tsunade: JIRAIYA!

Naruto: Ero-sennin?

Hinata: Sensei?

Tsunade: That perverted old bastard!

Itachi: 0/_\o Pink haired boo-boo kitty fuck?

Sakura: Wait... *Hushes up* Jiraiya likes me? EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW *Holds Ino for dear life*

Kakashi: Well who can blame him *Leer*

Iruka: HEY! *Slaps*

Naruto: That pervy sage...

Ino: *Enjoying the hugging* Tenten why are you dressed like Sakura? Did you give her something? *Glares at ShikaCho*

Itachi: *Drools* BOO BOO KITTY FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK *Leaps towards Tenten*

Shika: Nope, nothing

Tenten: *Still in shock* GAH! *Punches Itachi*

Asuma: What the fuck is going on? I go on holiday for the first time in 7 years and now all kinds of random shit is happening

Tsu/ Kura: You really don't wanna know

Itachi: *Gets knocked out and falls into Kisame*

Kisame: God damnit! Every fucking time!

Hinata: I-I knew I should have brought my video camera *Eyeing out cold Kiba*

Kanky: *Eyeing dogboy's panties* I think we should give him a trial. In Kura's bedroom. Now

Temari: Now now, all work and no play makes Hinata have nosebleeds

Kura: OH HELL NO!

Neji: YEAH THE ONLY ONES USING THAT BEDROOM IS US!

Everyone: 0_o HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH?

Jiraiya: That sounded important, what did you just say? *Still behind door*

Kura/Neji: Shit...

Kaka: Btw, what are you dressed up as Kura?

Kura: Er, well you see.... I'm...dressed as...Betty Page! *Shows undies*

Jiraiya: *Kicks down door* That's better!

Tsunade: WHAT THE FUCK?

Naruto: Huh? Pervy sage?

Jiraya: YARHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Kakashi: Wow, he's a pirate

Sasuke: of men's pants...

Jiraiya: The only booty I plunder of are ladies! Arrrrrrrrgh

Tsunade: Oh dear god *Downs a bottle of sake*

Jiraiya: YARH! I see you've come as wench Tsunade.

Gai: Fear not, lovely Tsunade, I shall protect you and your Amazonian bosom! *Nice guy pose, teeth sparkle*

Lee: Yay, Gai-sensei! I shall also protect my beloved *Glomps Gaara*

Gaara: *Tiny smile*

Kisame: Something tells me you've got nothing to worry about, catapillar brows

*Boots off Itachi and grabs a 6-pack*

Asuma: Sweet, beer *Goes over to Kisame and grabs a beer*

Tsnuade: *Punches both Gai and Jiraiya until they lay on the floor near death*

Sakura: Go sensei

Tsunade: Pssht men

Ino: *To still shaking Tenten* What did that perv do?

Shika: *Opens the sake he brought* Something tells me this will be a slow business night, Chou

Cho: *Sighs* I know, never mind. Think of it as a night off *Kisses his cheek*

Shika: *slight smile* You're very un-troublesome you know *Puts his arm around his cushiony bf*

Tenten: I was on my way to the party, and it started to rain so I took shelter nearby until it stopped. Next thing I know, grabby hands!!! And no kunai I summoned would stop him! I thought old people like him were put down!

Itachi: *Twitch twitch*

Jiriaya: What, thou hast a fine pair of cannons...*Spots TemaHin* ........................................................................... ...................................................I've died haven't I? I've gone to a heaven with some very naughty angels *Knocks back more sake*

Temari: Don't even think about it....

Neji: *In over protective cousin mode* I wouldn't if I were you...

Kura: *Smiling at Neji* Awwww, he's so cute when he gets like that

Temari: I know the feeling... *Points to Gaara and Kanky who are sending glares of death towards Jiriaya*

Naruto: I'd give it up if I were you pervy sage...

J: fine... *Spots something poking out of Itachi's pocket* YARH! Plundering time!

Kisame: Oh, shit I wouldn't touch that if I were...

J: *Picks up weed*

Kisame: Too late.

Itachi's: *Eyes snap open, Sharingan blazing with a murderous, pyscho look in his face* First Boo Boo kitty fuck and now my weed... foolish old man.

Sasuke: Now can everyone see why I hate him?

Naruto: Woah that's scarier than that time I saw Baa-chan naked

Tsu: When the Hell was that?

Naru: Last Halloween, it was horrifying! *Cheesy grin*

Sakura: ...Lame, Naruto ¬.¬

Itachi: *Does super top secret ninjustu to beat Jiraiya to a pulp {We don't hate Jiraiya, we luff him, but my God does that man need a slap sometimes!}*

Itachi: *Evil energy drained, slumps* Dude

Sasuke: You dick, wasn't that slight overkill?

Tenten: Itachi-San! *Eyes well up* Did you really beat that pervy sage up for me?

Itachi: No one touches my weed... *Looks at Tenten* Or my boo boo kitty fuck... but mainly the weed

Sasuke: Moron.

Tenten: *Stomps off*

Kakashi: But you'd do that if Naruto was being molested

Sai: Why hello Naruto, wanna be marked by me?

Sasuke: *Chakra flares around him and he lunges for Sai* BASTARD!

Kisame: What is with Uchiha's and being overly possessive with stuff?

Kura: Bloody men…Tenten-chan, come back, I'm sure he means you mean a lot to him! *TT has locked self in loos*

Saku: Yeah, I mean he's not even noticed me yet

Tenten: *Sniffs* I buy him WEED, disgusting drugs, and he still doesn't know my name!

Tsu: Come on out and take off that stupid pink wig as well...

Neji: *Scowling at Itachi* Now look what you've done you stupid stoner!

Itachi: B'uh?

Hinata: You made her cry!

Sasuke: See I told you he was a bastard!

Shika: Oh for God's sake *Drags Itachi to the bathroom door*

Ino: This is why I've gone off men!

Sakura: Damn straight

Itachi: Huh, what's going on, what did I do?

Shino: ...

Kisame: *Rolls his eyes* the pot head gets the girls without even trying and he still manages to mess it up, what a fucking moron

Asuma: I hear that, stupid bastard...

Kanky: Well at least he isn't a slut like someone we could mention...*kicks still out Kiba*

Kiba: Ouch!

Tenten: *Sniffles* All I wanted was him to notice me and and-

Kiba: *Fuzzily* What's goin' on?

Sai: I'm not sure really, is this what's called a 'cock-block'?

Chouji: Uh...no. This is the part about talking about feelings I think. I'm not too sure, Shika and I never really talked about feelings

Lee: So how did you two get together?

Chou: He rolled on top of me one day and put his hand down my pants

Everybody: ...

Ino: I wish he was lying, but I walked in halfway *Gags*

Iruka: How...sweet

Kakashi: Reminds me of us...

Iruka: Kaka-bastard, don't talk to me, I'm pissed at you!

Itachi: Er... *Rubs his head* My bad?

Tenten: *Starts wailing down the house*

Kura: This is not how I intended on spending my Halloween…

Sasuke: Wow, she's wails louder than you dobe when we've run out of ramen

Naruto: I don't wail like a girl, Teme!

Orochimaru: Ohhhhhh Sasuke

Sasuke: *Screams like a girl and jumps into Naruto's arms*

Neji: HOLY SHIT It's MICHEAL JACKSON!

Iru: What the Hell!

Everybody: *Screams* [even TT in the loo]

Orochimaru: EH HEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Cha moan!

Jiraiya/Tsunade: GO THE FUCK AWAY OROCHIMARU!

Tsu: You're banned from Halloween remember?

Orochimaru: Cha moan mother licker, I'm here for mah bitch

Sasuke:*Whimpers*

Naruto: Like hell you are!

~Kyuubi: Sweeeeeeeeeeet show time!

Asuma: Oh ewww, what is that?

*Gaara holds Lee possessively*

Kisame: I can't believe I used to work with him, and after he molested Sasori as well...

Naruto: *Starts to go Kyuubi* No one is touching my Teme. In the name of Ramen I will Punish you!

EVERYONE; 0_o

~Kyuubi: Whyyyyyyy? Kit that is so not cool

Kiba: Cooooooool, I needs me a transformation sequence!

Naruto: *Pulls out sceptre from Hammerspace* Prepare to be defeated!

~Kyuubi: I'm so embarrassed~

Hinata: Where's that that music coming from? A-and all the pretty sparkles!?

Orochimaru: Gah! WOMEN!

Naruto: RASENGAN!

Orochimaru: Nooo, non-underage men!!!

*Gets blasted back to sound where Kabuto will be waiting in an apron with a hot dinner and Oro's pipe and slippers*

Sasuke: My Hero! *Glomp*

Itachi: Duuuuuuuuuuuuuude

~Kyuubi: I seriously need a new host~

Kura: Great, now there's a hole in my wall

Kaka: That was possibly the gayest thing I've ever seen

ain't it Iru-chan?

Iruka: Hmmph *Looks away*

Gaara: Impressive...

Sakura/Ino: Wow we should totally form a Magical girl group! *Squeals*

Neji: Look at all the goddamn glitter everywhere

Gai: Are you okay my Queen? *Offers Sake*

Tsunade: Disturbed. So very disturbed…

Tenten: *Pokes her head outside the bathroom* What happened?

Kisame: A paedophile tried to crash the party

Sai: Then Naruto went super-gay on his ass, proving his lack of penis

Sasuke: Trust me, the dobe is well endowed *Grabs Naruto and starts to make out with him*

Itachi: Dude, Meatball girl?

Tenten: *Still a bit teary* Um, yeah?

Itachi: Er... want a toke on my joint?

Kisame: 0_o

Tenten: ...I don't take drugs Itachi-san

Itachi: ... B'uh? You don't?

Kisame: Oh lord...

Kisame: Real smooth, Itachi

Itachi: But if you don't smoke then....

Tenten *Tearing up again*

Itachi: That means you won't steal my stash!

*Everyone falls over*

Lee: WHAT!?

Neji: That's just pathetic!

Gai: Well, he's trying...I think

Kisame: You fucking moron!

Naruto: HAHA, you Uchihas are so damn retarded *Huggles his Uchiha*

Shino: ...This makes us 3 look normal in comparison

Sasuke: I resent that!

Naruto: Well you take your damn sweet time making your move, I mean yeah you did make a move, but 4 YEARS!!

~Kyuubi: You've just conveniently forgotten that you repressed your lusts for that long too, kit~

Naruto: *Mutters: Shut it*

~Kyuubi~ You love me really

Kiba: Really? Damn Naruto, I had my hands down Shino's pants in 6 months!

Shino: And they'll never be down there again

Kiba: *Whines, watery eyes*

Tsunade: Now that's a fine grudge. By the way Kakashi have you figured out yet that Iruka's pissed at you?

Kakashi: Iruka? *Puppy dog eye* Why are you mad at me?

Iruka: You've been eyeing up women for ages, AND putting me in skirts! I'm not about to be replaced by some girl!

Kura: And why the hell is everyone here?

Sakura: Isn't this a party?

Gaara: This is some good wine...

Cho: Yeah where's the music?

Itachi: Yo, I got that covered...

Kisame: Oh god no...

Itachi: *Pulls out a set of decks*

Kura: NO! Now all of you, what the hell do you think you're doing here? I never sent out flyers or anything!

Temari: You didn't? Ppulls out an invite* But it says right here...*Hands it to Kura*

Naruto: Yeah, I mean we all got one...

[It reads: HALLOWEEN BASH AT KURENAI'S PLACE!! BRING A BOTTLE AND YOURSELF IN YOUR BEST COSTUME! MUSIC! BOOZE! GIRLS! BOYS! GENDERBENDING! PTO for address and directions]

Kura: ...And this invite didn't strike you as weird HOW?

Everyone: *Shrugs*

Neji: *Pointing at Itachi and Kisame* And how exactly did you get an invite?

Kisame: Well...

Itachi: We just followed the little dudes *Smiles and smokes on his J*

*Everyone turns to look at ShikaChou by the buffet table*

Shika: *Lights a cigarette*

Chou: Keep the customers happy for repeat business, I read it in a book!

Asuma: That still doesn't explain who wrote these invites

Neji: And why would someone do that any way? I mean Sasuke's house has more room

Kura: Unless someone was having an enormous cosmic joke on me...nah, can't be

============================================================

+In da afterlife, all the previous Hokages are laughing their celestial arses off+

2nd: Man, you were right, this was the best prank ever!

4th: Ithankyew *Bows while giggling*

3rd: I still didn't see Kurenai's boobs T_T *Sulks with pipe*

1st: Oh cheer up, ther'es still that 'Leaf after Dark' catalogue hanging around somewhere.

============================================================

~Kyuubi: That 4th, what an asshole~

Naruto: Huh?

~Kyuubi: Nevermind~

Kisame: I need a damn drink… Now I know you've had you're fun, so can you guys please leave before someone else destroys something else!?

Neji: Yeah I wanna get some

Kaka: ...That reminds me, if Neji was putting his stuff in the bedroom, where is it? I never saw anything of his

Iruka: Hey why were you and Neji in the bedroom together any way? *Jealous*

Kaka: Irukaaaa, I wouldn't cheat on you! I just noticed him that's all. I would have said earlier but I got distracted by your fine ass!

Sakura: Such flattery ¬.¬

Neji: Honestly, I wouldn't touch him with a ten foot pole

Sai: I don't think your penis is that big...

Kiba: If only-eep! *Covers mouth*

Kanky: *Curious* So, c'mon, is something going on?

Neji/ Kura: Huh?

Shika: If you mean, 'are they fucking' there's a 98.9% chance they are

Shino: That's ...specific

Shika: *Shrugs* Know your village, know your customers

Tsunade: Thank god, then Neji can finally stop being so anally retentive!

Jiraiya: Was I really that bad?

All girls: YES!

Kura *Looks at Neji* Might as well…

Neji: FINE! *Sighs* Yes we are seeing each other and before you guys showed up I was going to see a lot more of her!

Naruto: now there's an image I didn't need in my head

Kiba: You're telling me

Hinata: *Nosebleed*

Kakashi: So you're not dressed like Betty Page. You're just in your undies *Stares, scribbles in notebook*

Iruka: *Punches Kaka through the hole in the wall* KNOCK IT OFF

Kura: Okay that's it, you guys have got to go!

Tsu: wow, Iruka that was impressive, we should talk...

Naruto:*Whines* but its Halloween, where are we supposed to go?

Gaara: Let us go out into the night and scare small children

Kanky: You do that any way....

Asuma: And adults too, to be honest.

Lee: Gaara-kun *Rubs his legs as a cat would, whispers something in Gaara's ear*

*Nar and Kiba hear* Oh, eeeeeeeeeeew

Gaara: I can use the machine again? *Awed*

Lee: Uh huh

Naruto: Oh god I wish I never showed him that...

Lee: *Pokes his tongue out* Jealous!

Gaara: WE GO NOW *blots out*

Lee's voice fading: `thank you for your kind hospitalityyyyyyyyyyyyyy'

Gai: FAREWELL FAITHFUL STUDENT!

Kura: Now can you all do what they did and leave!

Ino: Come on Sakura, we can go play warrior princess *Leer*

Sakura: You, me, forest?

Ino: Hell yeah

*Picks up a keg* Let's go Ino-pig, I mean, Gabrielle

Ino: Sure thing forehead girl, I mean Xena

*The two run off together*

Temari: You've been very quiet Hinata... oh dear

*Hintata on the floor in a pool of her own blood*

Temari: *Sighs* Why does my girlfriend have to be such a pervert?

Kanky: Think you better take her to the hospital?

Temari: Yeah, I'll just take her to her usual room, they know what to do with her. *Pulls fan out of hammerspace*

Temari: *Picks up gf* See ya later everybody *Takes off*

Kura: 0_0 Hey hey hey you didn't clean up the blood! It's gonna stain the carpet goddamn it. Glitter everywhere too…

Kisame: Well we better head off to before Itachi yet again makes an ass out of himself *Grabs the stoner and exits the apartment*

Itachi: See ya later Tenten!

Tenten: He DOES know my name, yatta!

Sasuke: You women are so damn confusing!

Naruto: Yeah

Neji: Well at least she's happy now, but seriously guys move it or lose it

Jiraya: TO THE STRIP JOINT!

Asuma: I hear that!

Gai: I will not join you in your raucousness, I will continue to court the fair Hokage! *_*

Tsunade: No...go...or I kill you

Gai: .................................................................Kill me with your breasts?

SUPER TSUNADE CROTCH-KICK!

Sasuke: I think I'm going to be sick

Naruto: Goddamn Baa-chan did you have to do that?

Tsu: Yes, yes I did

*Gai emits a sound only heard by squirrels miles away*

Jiraiya/Asuma: Poor man...TO THE STRIP CLUB! *Leave chanting 'strip club!', dragging a wounded Gai with them {We don't hate Gai either, man just needs to take a clue}

Shika: Well there's no point in us sticking around, there's no more suckers, unless... *looks at KankyShinoKiba*

Kanky/Shino: Hell no!

Kiba: No?

Kanky/Shino: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Shika: Oh well, come on Cho I think the stores still open. Lets get some munchies and watch Saw

Kanky: You haven't learned anything at all, did you think we'd fall for frilly undies?

Shino: ¬.¬ ....

Kiba: Really? You did?

Kanky: Errr

Naruto: *To Sasuke* It's like they're talking in code...

Sasuke: I know, now how about we go home and er... *Whispers in Naruto's ear*

Naruto: Isn't that illegal!?

Sasuke: Who cares?

Naruto: Okay then *Leaps into Sasuke's arms* Lead the way my horny little emo boy *Kisses cheek*

Tenten: There go the cosplay hookers...Wow, there's a sentence I never thought I'd say

Chou: Bye everyone! *ShikaChou make off with a lot of snacks and booze, leaving the 'treats' behind*

Tsunade: Come on then Tenten lets go before someone else tries to grope us ne?

Iruka: Yeah, I better go. Got class in the morning too

Kakashi: but but but *Eye wide* What about sex?

Iruka: What about sex? *Cold shoulder!!*

Tenten: Godaime-sama, the Sakura outfit was a bad idea wasn't it?

Tsunade: Yeah pretty much. I don't get what you see in that stoner?

Tenten: He's cute, and kinda sweet in his own way...

Sai: Hey what about me, where should I go?

Tsunade: I don't know and I don't care. Now go bother dog boy...

Kiba: Totally! We should have a foursome!

Sai: I'm game, can I keep on the costume?

Kiba: *Drools* Hell yeah

Shino: He really doesn't learn does he?

Kanky: Now hold on, we still haven't said if we want you back yet

Kiba: But I said I was sorry! and apart from the day I got dumped, I haven't slept with anybody! making it...*Counts* 9 days!

Shino: Wow

Sai: Really, that's not what the toilet walls say

Kiba: THEY LIE!

Kura: They probably don't, you little whore bag. But whatever I just want you to go!

Neji: Would you guys just kiss and make up already?

Kiba: I know I have a bad rep, but I haven't actually cheated, except I was with you two...

Sai: Need a spade for that extra deep hole?

Kiba: *Sighs*

Shino: Come on let's go, Neji looks like he is going to explode

Sai: In what way?

Kanky: Whatever, lets just go!

Neji/ Kura: NOW!

*They scarper*

Neji: fiiiiiiiiiiinally

Kura: Jeeze, I'm exhausted, all that random is tiring

Neji: *Twitch* Huh? *Whimpers*

Kura: Oh, poor baby *Hugs* Let's go to bed

Neji: *In his head* Hehehe, ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh riiiiiiight giggity

*They go into the bedroom, turn off the lights and get into bed*

Neji: So where were we Kura-chan ...Kura? …Kura? Kurenai?

*Pokes her with finger*

Kurenai: *Snore*

Neji: Oh.........DAMN IT!

OWARI

A Spoony and Saffron Production.

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