Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Colour of his... eyes? ❯ Chapter 1: The Terms and Conditions ( Chapter 1 )

A/N: I decided to post Chapter 1 up today, because I thought it would be mean to leave it on the Prologue. Anywho…
Naruto: Ha! On with the show!
Sasuke: -smacks- Usuratonkachi...
Warnings: Again, just foul language. It's too early for smut.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. At all. And I never will. -sob-

 

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Chapter 1: The Terms and Conditions!

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~*~ The Orphanage ~*~

It had started off as a normal working day for Umino Iruka; getting up at six o'clock, showering and dressing before rousing the lazy Tsunade at six thirty. As per usual, the buxom blonde was being extremely stubborn, pulling the blankets up around her head, dislodging poor Iruka until he crashed against the wall with her inhuman strength.
“Go `way Iruka. Too early,” she mumbled from the sheets, soft snores being emitted just seconds after her uttered words.
With a frustrated sigh, Iruka bent over near her head and hollered, “WAKE UP TSUNADE! THE RACES ARE ON TV!”

He quickly jumped backwards as the aforementioned woman scrambled wildly about in her bed sheets, flying out of the bed to land in her bedrooms small sofa seat in front of her Tele, not willing to miss a second of the… non-existent horse races?
“Damn it Iruka! I nearly had a fucking heart attack when I thought I was missing the races,” she growled, punching him right out of her bedroom with a loud huff.
Picking himself off the floor, Iruka sighed softly, at least content to know that the blonde woman wasn't going back to sleep after that little episode. Checking his watch, Iruka noted he had only about ten minutes to start breakfast before he had to go and wake the others, or more specifically, Naruto.

No doubt the others had heard his and Tsunade's loud morning argument and had roused themselves. However, this morning, Iruka was met with an extremely odd sight. On the table in front of him in the kitchen sat all six of his orphans, his precious children, with breakfast already made, albeit slightly burnt, angelic smiles on their faces.
“Happy father's day, Iruka-san,” they all cried, Naruto the loudest, running over to hug the man he had, and always would, consider his father.
Iruka felt tears build in his eyes and he tightly hugged the sixteen year old in his arms, motioning for the others to do the same.

One by one, they all came up, presenting him with all sorts of little gifts, and then they sat down to eat together, Tsunade finally making her appearance, also laden down with gifts for Iruka, as small cheeky smile on her visage.
“Now, itadakimasu(1)!”

Once they were finished, it was around half past seven, so Iruka sent the children out to play, knowing that he would need to get the cleaning done before the big dinner tonight. A huge game of hide'n'seek ensued, and that was when Tsunade received the flying, her excited shouts piercing the air and penetrating into the midst of Iruka's dusting, making him worry that something bad had happened to the kids, hurrying outside in his pink apron. However, his sights were glued however, to the form of a running Tsunade, her busty frame drawing ever closer to him at an alarming rate.
“QUICK IRUKA! We need dresses for the girls, both of them,” she shrieked, ushering him inside (more like dragging).

“Wait, what?” he questioned; still trying to get over the fact that he had just seen Tsunade running.
“There is going to be a ball for Prince Sasuke; his parents want him wed. All eligible maidens from any sort of background are aloud to attend. His parents believe that the Prince is bound to find someone he loves somewhere,” she squealed, already plans of one of her girls getting married to Sasuke formulating in her mind. She handed the flyer to Iruka who peered at it cautiously.

After a couple of minutes, in which Tsunade got rather antsy and starting tearing up some scrap paper, Iruka finally looked up with a raised eyebrow.
“Have you read the fine print?” he asked her.
“What fine print?”
Iruka sighed; he should've known better than to ask a gambler about fine print.
“It says:
The ball will take place in a month's time. However, only 100 lucky maidens can make it through. There will be a series of tasks designed by the royal family in which only a maidens with a particular style of thought or dress can make it through. The girls must arrive in teams of three for the firs challenge, then they will go unto individual challenges. If you haven't got three maidens for the first task, then your group shall be disqualified. You can, however, join with another group to make up a complete group. Remember, only a hundred maidens can win, regardless of status or background.

“NANI(2)?!” Tsunade screeched, watching all her dreams melt away.
Sympathetically patting her on the back, Iruka sat down on the couch in the living room, signalling for her to do the same.
“We only have two girls, Tsunade. We wouldn't be able to enter,” he murmured soothingly, trying to placate the fiery blonde next to him, the one who was muttering `fuck' over and over to herself. Suddenly, she sat up, her eyes sparkling mischievously.
“All is not lost. Which of the boys have the most girly figure,” she cried, whisking around to stare menacingly at Iruka.

“I'd have to say Naruto has,” Iruka replied, not quite catching on to what she was thinking.
“Oh, make three lots of dresses Iruka. I'm off to town to buy our three girls a new wardrobe, and some wigs and make up! Ja ne(3),” she called, blowing him a kiss and vanishing to her room to get ready. It was only when she was out the door did Iruka catch on to what she was planning, but by then, it was far, far too late.
“Kuso! Gomen, Naruto-kun (4),” he mumbled, wearily returning to his cleaning.

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~*~ Meanwhile, at the Castle ~*~

“Ugh, I can't believe they did that to me,” sulked one Uchiha Sasuke, currently sat in his private quarters with his two most trusted guards, who were in fact Knights for his family, one of whom was his cousin.
“Yes, but cousin, it is for your own good. You are sixteen now, you should be happily married,” said the aforementioned cousin, pale purplish eyes focused on his sulking family member.
Sasuke just turned towards him, glaring his famous `Uchiha Death Glare' at him for saying something which was so utterly, in his not-so-humble opinion, stupid.
“Alright then Neji, if you are going to side with them, how come you're not married, Mr. Seventeen-and-waiting-for-the-right-one-to-come-along Hyuuga,” he spat out, still pouting in his corner of the sofa.

“I'm not a Prince, so I'm allowed to get old without marrying,” smirked Neji, amused to see his usually composed cousin in such an uproar.
“It's not as bad as you're making it out to be your highness,” the other guard, Kankuro, mumbled, not really seeing what the huge fuss was about. Sasuke simply sighed; he really didn't want to get married, he just wanted to lead a normal life, and he also knew that most females annoyed the hell out of him, save for a few of them.

“Ano(5)… I hate to interrupt, but you highness is being asked for company by Itachi-sama,” Hinata almost whispered, blushing as her cousin turned towards her.
“Hinata-san, you don't have to act like a servant. You're only his personal hand-maid, you know,” scowled a rather miffed Neji, wondering how the hell she was deemed the next to inherit the great Hyuuga line.

“Gomen nasai(6), Neji-nii(7),” she replied with a bow before excusing herself.
They all stared at her retreating form until Sasuke turned back to face the two in the room with him.
“I know she is only here to gain experience to become a woman, but sometimes she acts so much like a servant, I almost forget she's not,” muttered Sasuke, shaking his head slightly.

Neji coughed slightly, a dark blush tinting his cheeks until Sasuke put him out of his misery.
“I must go and see what this bastard of a brother of mine wants,” he declared before storming out of the room, his anger to what had taken place that morning between himself and his brother not forgotten.
Approaching the door to his brother's private quarters, Sasuke knocked twice, as was custom, before entering, eyes scanning the room for any sign of danger.
“No need to look so frightened, oh little kitten,” his brother's voice floated out from somewhere, making him shiver in fear; he sounded like he was up to something.

Sasuke turned wildly, trying to see where his brother's voice could possibly be coming from, when the said man appeared in front of him, wearing a traditional robe with his hair up in a top knot on his head.
“What the hell are you cosplaying for?” Sasuke asked, wrinkling his nose slightly as he took a step back from the over-perfumed man in front of him.
“Ah, so mean dear brother,” mocked Itachi, pretending to be hurt, complete with crocodile tears.
“Oh shut up and tell me what you summoned me here for you asshole,” Sasuke managed to choke out, huffily throwing himself, rather inelegantly, into a chintz seat.

“Tut tut, Sasuke,” he replied, completely disregarding the question, “You'll never get a wife with that attitude.”
“Oh, bite me!” was the snarky reply he got in return.
“I just wanted to ask you if you had heard about the terms and conditions of the ball,” Itachi said, finally getting semi-serious, placing himself in a chintz directly across from Sasuke.
“What? Oh dear God, what?” he cried out in alarm, grabbing the flyer out of Itachi's hand when he was offered the papery material. After five minutes of silent reading, Sasuke slumped forward in his chair, his usually dignified air completely gone, soaked up by his despair.

“Sorry Sasuke, but at least you only have to dance with 100 maidens on the night,” snickered Itachi behind his hands, laughing even more when he received Sasuke's death glare.
“Yeah, but I have to spend a whole month with a whole lot more than a hundred of them. And what if Lady Sakura, or Lady Ino came? I'd be torn in two,” cried Sasuke, eyes widening in horror as he imagined himself slowly torn in two, one half being held by Sakura, the other, by Ino.

He felt the blood drain from his face, and the last thing he saw before the blackness was Itachi's worried face popping into view as he passed out on the floor.
“SASUKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

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~*~ Back at the Orphanage ~*~

Tsunade had returned from her trip into town, arriving back laden down with bags upon bags of shopping, She knew she had spent more money than should have, but the repairs on the back garden could wait till another time. Hastily, she put the stuff down and went to the back door.
“Naruto! Tenten! Temari! I need you for something,” she hollered from her perch, only waiting for a few seconds before the three teens burst out from the hiding places. They were all over sixteen, yet they still enjoyed playing such childish games; Tsunade felt a small smile tug at her lips, and she let it spread across her face, lighting up her features.

“What is it, Tsunade-baachan(8),” Naruto asked, confusion etched across his face, bright azure cerulean eyes widening as he took in the amount of shopping behind her.
“Now Naruto, I don't want you to protest, but the Prince is throwing a ball for all eligible maidens in the country and I want Tenten and Temari to go.”
She paused as the two girls began squealing, already guessing what was in those bags. However, Naruto's confusion just grew to a new height.
“Why would I protest?” he asked, nervously scratching the back of his head.

Tsunade sweatdropped before replying, knowing she had to get it over and done with sooner or later.
“Well, there was some fine print. It said that you had to enter in groups of three, and we only have two girls so…” she drifted off, hoping he would catch on. It was obvious the other two caught on straight away as they both began to snicker, but it took Naruto a couple of moments longer. However, when he did find out, boy, all hell was let loose.
“NANIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII?!”
& #8220;I thought I told you not to protest!”
Whack!
“Oooow! But… but…”
“No buts damn it!”

And so, that was how Naruto found out he would be playing dress up!

TBC…

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A/N: Argh… I'm so tired. Well, I hope this chapter gave you a bit more insight. Right now I'm trying to set up the ball and how everything came to be, more funny stuff coming up soon. I promise. Don't you just love my sneaky twist in the plot with the fine print and everything?
(1) Let's eat!
(2) What?!
(3) See ya!
(4) "Shit! Sorry Naruto!"
(5) "Um..."
(6) Formal way of saying "I'm really sorry"
(7) Nii = short hand for brother (not by blood). Despite being cousins, she often refers to him as that.
(8) old hag