Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Epic Battle...Or So We Thought ❯ Act 1 ( Chapter 1 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]



Me (aka. Sai) and My Brother (aka. Yasha) fighting Naruto Style.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto and i do not hate any of the characters. I'm just making this funny!

Characters:
Sai: 19-year old, sister to Yasha, long brown hair tied in mid-height pony with bangs hanging in face, brown eyes
Yasha: 13-year old, brother to Sai, shaggy brown hair tilted to the the left in a skater/emo-ish kinda way, brown eyes, not emo
You know the rest

Act 1. Begin fight
setting in large field, spring, daytime. Sai and Yasha stand at opposite sides of field
Sai: "Ready for a beat down, Little Brother?"
Yasha: "Ha, you wish!" *flips hair out of eye*
Sai: *puts hand on hip and leans on one leg* "Psh! Emo brat."
Yasha: *points at Sai drastically* "Fuck you!"
Sasuke pops up out of fucking nowhere
Sasuke: "Did somebody say emo?"
Sai: "Shut your whore mouth, Sasuke!"
Sasuke sobs emo-like and then cries while running away like a girl
Yasha: "O....kay..... Anyway!" *turns to Sai* "I'm gonna take you down!" *charges at Sai*
Yasha reaches Sai but Sai side steps him just before he punches. He loses balance and falls flat on his face, in the mud."
Sai: *laughs uncontrolably*
Yasha: "You fucking bitch." *stabs Sai's leg with kunai*
Sai: *falls on ass* "You asshole!!"
Yasha: "Muwahaha!" *rolls away then stands*
Sai: *dislodges kunai and stands* "No more playing around!" *throws kunai at Yasha's head* "Shadow clone jutsu!"
Yasha: "Woah!" *dodges kunai. sees clones* "Oh shit."
Shadow clones attack Yasha. He does well to dodge and block. then all clones poof away leaving cloud of smoke. Sai's fist comes down and hits Yasha in face. Yasha goes POOF!
Sai: "Shit! You little bastard!"
Yasha: *sitting in tree* "Hahaha, idiot!" *jumps down* "My turn! Fire style! Pheonix Flower Jutsu!" *fire spurts at Sai*
Sasuke runs across field still crying. He runs into the fire accidentally and is now on fire. Sasuke screams and runs away...on fire...falls in lake. not on fire anymore.
Sai: *looks at Yasha questioningly* "What the fuck is his problem?"
Yasha:
*Shrugs* "Ummm....I don't fuckin' know!"
Sai: "Oh well. Back to our fight."
Yasha: "Right!" *charges at Sai with Kunai in each hand*
Sai: *throws marbles on ground*
Yasha: *slips on marbles. stabs self in arm.* "Owwwww!!!! Fuck!"
Sai: "Fucking idiot!"
Yasha: *stands up holding bloody arm* "Owwww...*
Suddenly the two feel a tremor across the field. They look up to see Sasuke running towards them. He is being chased by a giant human boulder, aka Choji. Sai and Yasha jump out of way. Sasuke screams in a girly high pitch as he runs by. Behind Choji is Sakura running along.
Sakura: "No Choji! Don't hurt him." *suddenly has personality change* "If you flatten him I'll kill you! Cha!!!" *suddenly falls over.*
Yasha had thrown a rock and hit Sakura in back of head. She is bleeding...a lot. Rock Lee comes up out of fucking nowhere.
Sai: *walks to Yasha* "Nice throw!" *high fives*
Lee: "Sakura NOOOOO!!!!!!" *cries*Gai-sensei comes out of fucking nowhere
Gai: *in an over dramatic tear filled voice* "It's okay, Lee! We all go through a time when we lose a loved one! But you must continue on living! Don't give up or her death will be in vain!"
Sai: *talks in whispers to Yasha while watching Lee and Gai* "Why are they talking about her being dead? I can see her breathing."
Yasha: "I don't fucking know! It's Lee and Gai why the fuck would ask me?"
Sai: "Why don't we tell them she's alive?"
Yasha: "'Cuz this is way too fucking funny!"
Lee: "Oh, Gai-sensei!"
Gai: "Oh, Lee!" *embraces Lee and they cry.*
Sai: "I think they're gay."
Yasha: "That would not surprise me."
Sai: "I'm fucking done! These guys are retarded. We can't even fight in an empty field!"
Yasha: "Yeah I'm going home. I'll pown your ass tomorrow."
Sai: "Yeah, you fucking wish!"
Random medical ninja takes Sakura to hospital as Sai and Yasha turn in. Lee and Gai are still crying in each other's arms. We don't know where Sasuke is, but we can still feel tremors so we assume Choji hasn't run out of chakra yet.


Thanks for reading Act 1! Please review and stay tuned for Act 2! Coming soon!