Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Epic Battle...Or So We Thought ❯ Act 2 ( Chapter 2 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Disclaimer: Don't own anything in here except the characters Sai and Yasha


Act 2.
Morning. Sai and Yasha sit for breakfast. It is very quiet and peaceful. Yasha looks at Sai
Yasha: "Dude, it's way too fucking quiet. I feel like something's wrong."
Sai: "Yeah, I know what you mean."
Dramatic Pause. Suddenly their front door gets kicked in by a screaming Naruto. He runs to the kitchen where Yasha and Sai are.
Yasha: "Naruto what the fuck is your problem?! Get out of my house!"
Naruto: "I'm being chased by a... by a...a..."
Sai: "Spit it out you tool!" *Grips Naruto by collar*
Naruto: "An Alien!" *cries*
Yasha and Sai look at each other. They shake their heads and sit back down to eat.
Naruto: "Guys I'm serious! It's big and blue and ugly!"
Yasha: *kicks Naruto in face* "Get the fuck out."
Naruto: *sobbing on floor rubbing cheek* "B-b-but..."
Sai: "No buts, Naruto. Go home!"
Gun shots sound from outside
Yasha: "Was that a gun? There are no guns in Naruto."
Sai: "I know that, dolt!"
A big alien runs through the kicked-in door followed by a black armored halo soldier. They enter the kitchen. The soldier shoots the alien. Alien falls. Naruto squeals like a girl.
Sai: "Holy fuckin shit! Who the hell are you?!"
???: "Tex. I've been tracking this sucker for a while. Finally got him."
Yasha: "How do you know it's a him?"
Tex: "That." *points to area*
Sai: "Holy crap is that his...?"
Tex: "Yep. That was my reaction."
All stare except for Naruto who is huddled in a corner rocking back and forth.
Yasha: "Okay get out of my house. And take your creepy alien with you."
Tex shrugs and drags alien away.
Sai: "Are we ever gonna have a normal day around here?" *Kicks Naruto out of house*
Yasha: "Probably not. I'll meet you at the field for our fight today."
Sai: "Kay. See you there."

Narrator on Spongebob: "One hour later."

Yasha: *in a cocky voice* "Ha so you acctually showed up."
Sai: "You fucking moron I told you I'd be here."
Yasha: "Right. Well. Shut up and fight me!"
Sai: "Fine!" *pulls out halo gun. shoots at Yasha.*
Yasha: *dodges* "What the fuck? Did you steal that from that chick with the alien?!"
Sai: "Maybe."
Yasha: "That's cheating!"
Sai: "Oh fine!" *throws gun on ground. gun goes off.*
Scream in the distance.
Yasha: "Was that a man or woman?"
Sai: "I think it was a Sasuke."
Sasuke: "I've been hit! Ack!" *walks towards them clutching bloody side. falls to ground."
Suddenly all Konoha girls pop up out of fucking nowhere and cry about Sasuke dying.
Yasha: "Fucking idiots."
Sakura: "Oh Sasuke! You can't leave me!"
Ino: "Leave you?! He's leaving me!"
Sakura: "No he's leaving me you whore!"
Sai: "They are fighting about someone leaving them. Are they stupid?"
Yasha: "Yes."
Sai: *yells to girls* "Did you dumb bitches ever think that he's still alive and you should bring him to a hospital?!"
Ino: "You don't know anything, old hag!"
Yasha: *slowly steps back as Sai's face turns red.*
Sai: "Alright ya little bitch... Yasha, I think our fight will have to be put on hold."
Yasha: "OKay, no prob." *runs about 20 yards away to watch at safe distance.*
All Konoha boys show up and sit with Yasha and eat popcorn watching the soon-to-be masacre of fangirls.
Sai: "What was that you fucktard?"
Ino: "I called you a hag."
Sai: "Okay, just because you haven't hit puberty yet, little brat, doesn't mean i'm an old hag."

Back with boys

Naruto: *last to arrive* "What are you guys doing?"
Yasha: "Shut the fuck up, Naruto!" *throws popcorn and hits Naruto in face*

With Girls

Sai is fighting all girls and is totally kicking ass. She's about to stab Ino when Kakashi pops out of fucking nowhere and grabs Sai's wrist.
Sai: "What the fuck, Kakashi?"
Kakashi: "I can't let you go around killing all of the Konoichi in Konoha."
Sai: "I'm not killing all of them. Just Ino."
Kakashi: *pulls Sai into his arms* "Well Don't."
Sai: *blushes fiercely* "Okay."

With Boys

All sighing because fight is over
Yasha: "Man! Kakashi ruins fucking everything. He's such a dumbass." *rock hits him in head.* "Ow! Fuck!"

With Girls

Sai had heard Yasha and threw a rock at him. Kakashi leaves. Most girls are severly injured. 20 Random medical ninja show up and take them to hospital. They forgot Sasuke who is still bleeding.

All boys leave and Yasha walks up to Sai.
Yasha: "Feel better?"
Sai: "Yeah, but now I don't want to fight you."
Yasha: "Me neither. I'm gonna go make Naruto hate himself even more."
Sai: "Okay, just make sure your home for dinner."
Random Medical Ninja: "We forgot one." *grabs Sasuke and leaves.*
Yasha: "Okay, I'm leaving."
Sai: "Yeah, I think i'll see if there is a mission for me."
Both leave. It's only 10 in the morning and they no longer wish to fight thanks to the retards who live here.



Thanks for reading as always. And a special thanks to today's guest stars: Tex and Psycho Alien from Rooster Teeth's Red vs. Blue.

Stay tuned for Act 3! Guest Starring A special character from Final Fantasy. I'm not telling you which one. You'll have to read the next Act. Thanks again!