Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Falls Apart ❯ The Mistakes We Make ( Chapter 1 )

Falls Apart

 

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto nor the song used. Though I wish I owned Kakashi-sensei. *glomps the masked wonder* *squees*

 

 

Change Of Hearts Lyrics by Four Tops
Hey girl,
He treats you bad

Leaves you at home on your own while he roams.
Said he was out with the boys
smells like sweet perfume

Lipsticks on his collar
his pockets ain't got a dollar.
He staggers and he falls asleep
In the same clothes that he wore in the street

Wakes up and demands to eat
you're in this thing mighty deep.

What you need is a change of heart
What you need is a change of life

I know you got to have a change of man - change to me.
What you need is a change of heart
What you need is a change of life
In fact I know you need a change of man - change to me.

Every Saturday night he wants to start a fight with you

Either she ain't treatin' him right
Or just because he's high as a kite.
He blames you because the sun didn't shine
And he blames you for what's wrong with his mind.
He uses you as a scapegoat

If you can't see it
let me pull your coat.

He uses reverse psychology on you

Remember when you caught him with Nona?
Didn't he accuse you of being with some creep?
Girl, you're in this thing mighty deep.

What you need is a change of heart

Start me thinkin' about it
he never says he loves you

And I don't think he does,
do you?
I think he only thinks of you as he would an old worn out shoe.

Change to me - think about it baby
- change to me!
Change of heart - change of life - change of man -
change to me

----------------------------------------

 

Chapter One: The Mistakes We Make

 

----------------------------------------

 

She looked up from where she was weeping on the floor to the dark, drunken man standing in the door way. Her lips quivered as she took in his disheveled appearance, the smell of lavender perfume all over him, mixed with the tequila he had obviously been drinking earlier. Red lipstick was smeared all over his face and he looked flushed for reasons other than being drunk. Tears flooded over from sea foam green eyes. This had become the ritual over the past few years since they had gotten married, after he had returned…the disappearing in the early evening, the returning in the middle of the night, covered in the smell of other women and hard liquor, then…then…

 

She didn't want to think about it. All she could do was shut off feeling, entering a corner of her mind that was tuned out from reality. She would wake up from her daze sore the next morning, sometimes covered in bruises and cuts, only vaguely remembering the cause of why the ache in the juncture of her legs had settled there. Most of time, she didn't want to remember, not after she remembered the first time this had happened. She'd been knocked out for days afterward, recovering from what he had put her through in a drunken rage.

 

She flinched as she saw him stagger forward, that hungry look settling in his eyes for the thousandth time. The second he grabbed her by the hair, she retreated into the back of her mind to escape the pain, her body going slack so he could have his way with her. Almost every night, unless he was gone on a mission…

 

Haruno Sakura hadn't slept in years…

 

----------------------------------------

 

She snapped out of her daze the next morning, blinking as the bright sunlight filtered through the window onto her face. She turned her head to the side, looking out into the world beyond the window from her prone position on the futon. A few stray pink strands of her hair shifted into her eyesight. She wasn't surprised to find herself alone in the bedroom, and she knew the house to be devoid of life except for her. He always left before she woke up, leaving her to grieve in loneliness.

 

Groaning as she finally shifted to sit up, she took inventory of all the familiar aches and pains that resided in her body. Besides the usual ache between her legs, she found two hickeys on her neck, numerous bruises on her arms and stomach, some possible bruised ribs, and cuts up and down her back, with a few on her forearms.

 

With out a sound, Sakura rose from the low futon to wander into the attached bathroom. She immediately turned on the hot water as hot as it would go and waited for the small room to fog over. After a few minutes, satisfied that the water was hot enough, she stepped into the scalding liquid, her skin immediately turning an angry red. She didn't wince though, having grown used to pain. It was hard to feel anything anymore. She leaned her forehead onto the black and white tile of the shower and let the water envelope her, allowing her mind to drift into oblivion for a few minutes, forgetting the world.

 

She felt the water slowly start to lose its heat and sighed. Turning the water off and stepping out of the shower she grabbed a red towel and dried herself off. Glancing at a clock, she found herself with plenty of time to prepare for some sparring with her ex-teacher.

 

Over the years, Sakura had developed into one of the most respected jounin in Konoha. Her training from Tsunade had finished in record time, her abilities passing even that of the Hokage herself. She had also gained a physical strength that surprised the entire village, and a speed that could put the poor Lee to shame. Soon, the only challenge in sparring she found was from Kakashi. She had become very powerful indeed, but not enough to face her worst fear: one Uchiha Sasuke.

 

He had returned several years after the defeat of Orochimaru, and bore the evidence of his slaughtering the Akatsuki. Upon that return, Konoha took him back as their hero and he had asked Sakura to marry him, apologizing profusely for ignoring her so long. He said he couldn't have any distractions, that he had done it to protect her. Sakura had been overjoyed, and had leapt at the chance to marry her life-long love.

 

How wrong a decision that had been. Naruto had even approached her, saying that he still didn't trust Sasuke, that something still seemed off with the Uchiha boy. Sakura had blatantly ignored him, and in less than a month, had moved in with Sasuke. At first, it had seemed wonderful, like she had always imagined it to be. He was a gentleman, taking her out on dates, wooing her. And she had fallen right into the trap. After discovering her grievous mistake, it was too late to back out. She was too terrified and ashamed to attempt an escape. A fool she was, and her way of exacting her revenge for being foolish was to pour all her concentration into pushing her body to its limit, to feel the pain when she had gone numb.

 

And this resulted in her becoming one of the most powerful ninja in the village. But it didn't take the numbness away.

 

Haruno Sakura hadn't slept in years, but she hid it from her village and friends.

 

She had become the master of deception.

 

Sighing, Sakura wrapped the towel about her lithe form and walked into room filled with painful memories, opening drawers and pulling out clothes, laying them out on the unmade futon. Dropping the towel, Sakura began to dry her long pale pink hair. Time had removed more and more of the pink, her hair almost white now. The pale strands had grown down past her knees, for that was something Sasuke liked. Everything for Sasuke, no matter how much it hurt her. Satisfied that her hair was dry enough, she pulled the smooth, damp strands into a simple braid, her chin length bangs left out to frame her face.

 

Turning to her laid out clothes, Sakura began to dress. She first bound her bruised ribs, wincing as she pulled the bandages tight to prohibit further damage. She then pulled on her underwear followed by a short black skirt with slits up both sides. A long, billowy sleeved red shirt went over her torso, hiding the hickeys, bruises and cuts. Pulling on fingerless gloves, black boots, and her forehead protector as a headband, Sakura walked out the front door of the shared apartment. She felt some of the tension and numbness leave her as she moved to meet Kakashi at the bridge so they could train.

 

This was her routine, this was how she deceived, and none was the wiser, not even Kakashi could read into her well versed, perfectly acted lies. Except for one pair of intelligent brown eyes. Eyes of the genius of the Konoha Village. Nothing escaped his observation.

 

`How long until you break Sakura? How long until the numbness fades and the pain consumes you?' he thought as she walked past him to the bridge as she did every morning Kakashi was in town. `And when you break, will you finally let someone help you escape your nightmare?'

 

----------------------------

 

Sakura rolled her shoulders and took a new inventory of her aches and pains. Bruises on her shins, some new ones on her arms, one on her cheek…she smiled wanly though. She'd left more pain on Kakashi this round though. After a few hours of intense sparring, Sakura had K.O.ed her old sensei with a well timed roundhouse kick to the back of his head. They never used weapons or ninjutsu. It was about brute power and speed. And Sakura was slowly surpassing the older jounin. She pondered on this as she slowly walked back through town, intending to return to her hell and wash the sweat and blood from her body. Was Kakashi getting too old? Or had she really gotten that much more powerful?

 

Lost in her musings, Sakura jumped a bit when a loud voice called to her from a ramen stand. Knowing only one person who would be there at this time of day, Sakura plastered on her perfected fake smile, the one everyone recognized from when she could still feel, and moved over to sit next to her favorite blonde friend.

 

“Naruto,” she said, eyeballing the piles upon piles of empty bowls, “You haven't changed one bit. Aren't you going to get sick?” His appetite never ceased to amaze Sakura, even after all these years.

 

Naruto grinned at her, his blue eyes shining in mirth. Over the years, he too had changed quite a bit. The Kyuubi sealed within him had finally merged with the blonde, leaving him with slit pupils, broad stripes on his face, and sharp claws on his fingertips. He had also shot up a foot or so, his muscles filling him out handsomely. His wild blond hair reached his shoulders and was restrained in a low ponytail. But his loud colored choice of clothing hadn't changed and neither had his trouble making attitude. He still disrespected Tsunade every chance he got and still sought to be Hokage. He had also stopped pining over her, and was now happily with Hinata. They had married before Sasuke had returned.

 

“Ne, Sakura-chan, are you going to stop by and see Hinata? She's due in a few months and she doesn't get out much. She's been craving female companionship for the past few weeks, and we don't see much of you anymore. Please?” She hadn't realized that a full grown man, and a member ANBU, was capable of giving puppy dog eyes. Sakura forced out a believable chuckle. “Of course Naruto. I'll stop by later. Let me shower first and get a change of clothes. Just stop looking pathetic please.”

 

Naruto pouted a bit, but quickly smiled again. “Alright! Ino-chan, Chouji-kun, Kiba no inukoro, and Shikamaru-san should be stopping by also. Maybe we could play a card game or two, swap some mission stories. Just catch up you know?” Sakura nodded, though inside she was wincing. That was a people overload for her. The less people, the less work it was to hide her secrets. Especially with that lazy genius jounin. Whenever he was around, he would study her with half-lidded eyes, making her think he could see right through her front. It bothered her to no end. She didn't want anyone to know of her shame, of her foolishness, of her numbness.

 

Realizing she had zoned out a bit, Sakura turned and gave Naruto her word that she would stop by, said goodbye, and walked off. Naruto watched Sakura walk away, worry clouding his clear blue eyes. After all these years and no proof of foul play, he was still uneasy with his best friend being with an old traitor to the Konoha Village. He still sensed something off kilter with the dark-haired man, and he feared it had something to do with Sakura. But there was absolutely nothing incriminating for him to act on, and Sakura still acted like her normal self. So he could do nothing but hope that his instincts were wrong and that it was still a hatred for the Uchiha heir that tainted his perception.

 

----------------------

 

A few soft knocks sounded on the front door, and Shikamaru moved to answer it first, sensing the familiar, freakishly strong chakra on the other side of it. Slowly opening it, his lidded brown eyes clashed with guarded sea foam green. They stood there staring at each other for long drawn out seconds, his eyes trying to delve out the secrets he knew her to be hiding, and hers struggling to block his thorough search of her soul. Finally he stepped aside to let Sakura in.

 

Doing everything in her power not to bolt past him, she walked through the spacious home to the living room where Naruto, Kiba, Ino, Chouji, and a very pregnant Hinata were sat comfortably on chairs and couches. Sakura gave her patented fake smile as they all greeted her, Ino standing up to hug her old friend. Sakura returned it with a practiced naturalness, before disengaging the embrace. She felt the presence of Shikamaru loom behind her and she moved to where Hinata was sitting before he could do any more of his investigating.

 

“Hinata-san, you look wonderful!” Sakura exclaimed, kneeling down next to the black haired woman. Hinata blushed, her shyness still prevalent after all these years. “Th-thank you Sakura,” she stuttered, before leaning forward a bit to give her friend a light hug. Sakura truly returned this hug, happy for her friend. “I'm sorry that I haven't been stopping by. I've been terribly busy with the hospital and training. I promise to stop by more often. I'm sure Naruto's been driving you crazy.” Sakura smirked and an indignant “Hey!” was sounded from the blonde sitting next to Hinata. She let go of the hug, taking in the small grin on Hinata's face.

 

“You're right, he can be rather troublesome at times.” Naruto now hunched over, crossing his arms and sulked. Everyone laughed heartily at Naruto's expense except Shikamaru, who only let a smile escape. He hadn't stopped observing Sakura the whole time. He was determined to figure out exactly why Sakura put up with the behavior of Sasuke, and put an end to her abusive relationship. He had observed many times a drunken Sasuke stumbling back home through empty streets, often covered in lipstick from his nightly conquests of infidelity. Shikamaru, though he often whined about women, still knew that Sakura didn't deserve the treatment she was receiving.

 

He would free his fellow ninja. Even if she hated him for it, he would see her free of that destructive relationship.

 

Sakura could feel the quasi-glare from Shikamaru on her. This make her hackles raise in a movement of self-defense. She didn't know how he could see through her elaborate act that had everyone else fooled. But then again, that was why he was one of the first of her class to reach jounin. By no stretch of the imagination was he stupid. The perfect strategist, he could read enemy and friend alike better than any sharingan could. Which is why she now itched to remove herself from his presence. He was looking for evidence of the abuse Sasuke put her through. Of evidence of the bad relationship she was going through.

 

The group sobered up and Naruto had stopped his sulking. Now grinning, he looked at everyone in room, taking note of how Shikamaru was staring down Sakura like a hawk, before asking what everyone wanted to drink. After orders were taken, he stood and walked into the nearby kitchen to pour drinks. Ino, from her spot next to her beloved Chouji, looked over at Sakura who had filched Naruto's old seat and asked, “Ne, Sakura-chan, how has work at the hospital been going? Any interesting or weird injuries come your way?”

 

Sakura sat and thought about it, finally coming up with one that had seemed rather odd to her. “I remember Iruka-sensei admitting himself one day. He had some interesting bruises and cuts on his arms and back. When I asked him about it, he turned beet red and mumbled something about Kakashi and `being rough.' I didn't want to ask beyond that because I spar with Kakashi almost every day. I don't want any bad images entering my head to distract me. Besides, I just really didn't want to know…” Sakura shuddered a bit as everyone laughed again.

 

Naruto entered again and passed out the drinks for everyone. He then grouched at Sakura for stealing his seat next to Hinata, and turned about to find that there were no more seats available. Sighing, he moved to stand next to Hinata, sitting on the armrest and taking her hand in his.

 

The group talked for hours about what had happened to them since they had last been together. Soon, Sakura realized that it had started growing dark outside. Quivering at the thought of going home, but even more terrified of having Sasuke find her not home, she turned to her group of friends with a sad smile. “I must apologize, but I need to be getting back home now. Sasuke will be heading back in an hour or so.” Everyone nodded and said good bye, though Naruto's worried look returned. He stood, gently placing Hinata's hand down on the arm rest before approaching Sakura. Placing his hands on either shoulder, he looked her in the eye with a searching glare akin to Shikamaru's. “If you need anything, and I mean anything, Hinata and I would be more than happy to help you. Got it?” Naruto broke up the serious moment with one of his trade mark grins. “Be good Sakura. I'll see you around.” Sakura nodded and walked to the door. As she put her hand on the knob to turn it, she felt another's cover it, stopping her from leaving. Dread filled her and her hackles raised again as Shikamaru's now gravelly, low voice filled her ears. “Let me walk you home Sakura. Wait just a moment and I'll be back.” The hand left hers and she froze as Shikamaru turned and gave his goodbyes to the group.

 

He was surprised to return and find that Sakura hadn't bolted yet. He figured that he would have to chase her down. She was still frozen, hand on the door knob, still staring at the wood in front of her with a shocked expression. “Sakura.” No response. Sighing to himself and inwardly grumbling about troublesome women, he recovered her hand on the door knob with his large palm, curling his fingers around and gently twisting the knob. Sakura jumped a bit upon contact, surprised that he had touched her.

 

The door swung open silently, knob removed from both of their grasps, but his hand still covering hers. The contact remained for a few seconds before Shikamaru removed his hand and stepped around Sakura to the outdoors. He turned and looked at her, his face wiped of any expression, but his eyes searching Sakura once again. “Are you going to go home or not?” He asked quietly. Sakura jumped again in surprise. She had been shocked at his audacity to touch her, much less invite himself to walk her home as if she wasn't able to take care of herself. Seething a bit, her body stiffened up and she strutted past him to the street. “Nara-san, I don't know what you're up to or what you possibly could be thinking, but stop. I'm not a puzzle to be figured out and I'm more than capable of taking care of myself.” Shikamaru did not answer, but after closing Naruto's front door, followed her silently. The silence that reigned between the two jounin was tense and uneasy. At least for Sakura it was. Glances out of the corner of her eye revealed a completely relaxed Shikamaru, his hands dug deep into his pockets, eyes straight ahead. Those glances had also revealed to her how Shikamaru had grown into a handsome man. He shoulders had filled out and he had gained quite a bit of muscle weight, abandoning the scrawny look he had as a gennin. His attire had changed also, trading out a sleeved shirt for a mesh sleeveless one, though retaining his chuunin flak vest. Loose black capri cut pants clung to his lower half and sandals clung to his feet. It appeared that he had let one ear's earring holes close up and added another to the other ear. His hair style remained the same, though it was a little bit longer.

 

Sakura returned her wandering eyes back to the darkened road ahead of her. She jumped a little as Shikamaru finally spoke. “I've seen him you know, stumbling down the street. Almost every night he's home.” Sakura winced inside, but kept her face impassive. “So? He enjoys partying.” Shikamaru turned his eyes to leer at Sakura as she casually brushed his statement off. “You know he's cheating right? Sometimes I can glimpse the makeup that rubbed off on him. He doesn't even try to hide it before going home.” Sakura's eyes narrowed in anger as he probed her. “Shikamaru, stop poking your nose where it doesn't belong! You don't know anything!”

 

“I know that you're hiding something. You are very good at covering the abuse with training with Kakashi. But if everything came from the training, why do you hide the wounds? You never used to wear long-sleeved shirts, now you can't be found without them.” Sakura snarled inside at his observation, but it was easy to shut that one down. “Maybe my style's changed over the years. Maybe I like long sleeves.” The look Shikamaru sent clearly stated the he believed otherwise. “So you like wearing long sleeves while training in 100 degree weather with Kakashi? I wonder if he's seen any of the bruises he knows he didn't put there.”

 

Sakura stopped walking and faced Shikamaru, rage now clouding her eyes and her body quivering with the effort to not hit him. “Listen and listen well Shikamaru. There is nothing wrong with Sasuke and I's relationship, nor has there ever been.” Shikamaru also stopped and looked at her with an eyebrow raised. “Who are you trying to convince Sakura? Yourself, or me? You may have everyone else fooled with your act, but I know better. Even Naruto senses something wrong, but he respects you too much to say anything about it.”

 

“Then why don't you show some respect and back off! I don't need help because there is nothing for me to need help with! And why are you spying on Sasuke?! Don't you have anything else to do with your time than try to ruin a perfectly good relationship? Besides, weren't you dating Temari-chan?” Shikamaru snorted at the name of the Sand kunoichi. “She left me a long time ago after finding that she felt nothing more than a deep friendship with me. Besides, I worry for you Sakura. No one else may notice the changes, but I do. Whenever I see you on the streets, there is a disconnected, lost look in your eyes. Your body stance is much tenser than it used to be before Sasuke and you've been distancing yourself from everyone but Kakashi, and even he says you've drifted away. He says you push yourself mercilessly. He'd even gone as far to say that you don't even try to avoid some his blows, like you want to be hit. What is going on Sakura? You won't be able to hide it forever.” Shikamaru had taken a few steps toward Sakura, leaving half an arm's reach between the two jounins. Sakura had abruptly quieted, her eyes listlessly staring at the ground below her feet. He was hitting too close to the mark, and he had his proof. But she was too scared to admit it, too scared of what Sasuke might do. She no longer loved her husband, but fear held her in place at her side. The man had defeated the Akatsuki single-handedly. Surely she was no match for that, much less the entire Konoha village combined.

 

Shikamaru noted her lack of response where there had been anger before. That listless, lost look was back in her eyes. Slowly he reached out and pulled Sakura into a hug, her head neatly fitting below his chin. He closed his eyes and gently squeezed reassuringly as shakes began to seize Sakura's form. “Please Shikamaru, don't pry anymore. I'm afraid of him and what he would do if I tried to walk away. Don't tell anyone, not Naruto, not Tsunade, not Kakashi. If Sasuke can defeat the Akatsuki, think of what he could do to this village if angered. We're powerless against him.” Sakura wrapped her arms about Shikamaru's still slim waist, clinging to him for dear life, for once her numbness yielding to the true pain deep inside. Shikamaru's anger grew. So he was right. Sasuke had been beating Sakura, cheating on her…every possible thing to drag her name through the mud. But in a sense, Sakura was right. There was nothing to done. Sasuke was the most powerful ninja of his time. His sharingan trumped any and all abilities of the Konoha village. Even Neji would have problems, for Sasuke could read every move before the Byukagen user implemented it. So what had he gained by learning Sakura's secret? Nothing. There was nothing he could do. No strategy could outwit eyes that saw the future. He drew Sakura closer, hoping to calm her down. “Even though you can't escape, you have friends who are more than willing to help keep the pain at bay. We would all give out lives for you, much like how we almost did trying to get Sasuke back.” Sakura sobbed into his chest. “I wish I had known. I'm a fool Shikamaru. I deserve this for not knowing any better, even if I become numb.” Shikamaru grimaced at her proclamation. “Sakura, you deserve nothing more than to be happy. After all the hell that Uchiha boy put you through, you deserve nothing more than to be happy.” He release one arm from the hug and softly grabbed Sakura's chin, forcing her to look at him. Tears poured from her eyes, pain darkening the normally light green eyes. “I promise I will do everything I can to get you that happiness. You of all people should not have to suffer. If you need to talk, come find me. I won't tell anyone else unless this…relationship…becomes a threat to your life.” Sakura sniffled, amazed at the loyalty Shikamaru was exhibiting. But then again, he had shown that same loyalty after he had failed the attempt to bring back Sasuke, resolving to quit because his choices had hurt his friends. Something he never wanted to do again. She finally stepped back from the comforting embrace. “I need to go. He'll be suspicious if I'm not home before him. Goodnight Shikamaru, and thank you. But don't try anything. I don't want anyone dying because of me. I've survived thus far, and I will continue to do so.”

 

Sakura turned and walked away to the house she hated that was looming nearby. Shikamaru watched her go, feeling a combination of anger, sadness, and a surprising amount of possessiveness as she walked out of his sight. `Sakura, I will make sure you are free of that Uchiha bastard, even if it kills me. You will finally be able to rest peacefully at night without fear of being violated.'

 

Little did he know, Sakura hadn't even fitfully rested in years…

 

…but he soon would.

 

To be continued…

 

A/N: Neh, I don't know what brought me to write this, but I do know that I love this pairing right next to a KakaSaku pairing. If you haven't guessed yet, this is a ShikaSaku pairing. They're so adorable together! *squees and glomps unsuspecting Naruto characters* Review and ja ne!