Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Fetish? What's A Fetish? ❯ And His Name Was Tony ( Chapter 21 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

-----Author’s note: I’ve been sick for close to a week, now. Someone save me! Oh, and thank you very much, everyone, for your reviews and favorites. They are all, of course, personal bests that continue to get beaten. Tell you what, there have been a few of them that make me smile every time I recall them, no matter where I might be. Thanks! ...Wow, too sentimental. I hope this chapter doesn’t end up that way, too, damn. I do not own Naruto, but any other characters and ideas are my own. Enjoy...-----


Four hours. It had been four long, grueling hours. Naruto and his comrade in boring, Hinata, had been crouched in a bush for the last four hours, staring at their ingenious albeit failing tiger trap. Clutched loosely in his hand Naruto held a string which snaked its way out of the bush, across the ground, and finally to a stick, which it wrapped itself around. The stick, you see, was holding up a wicker basket. So if the string were pulled, the stick would fall, and the basket would lose its support and thus fall down, trapping any unwary being that might find itself below. What you have no doubt discerned by this point, gentle reader, is that the desired being was the tiger they were hunting.

But what would a tiger be doing lounging around under a wicker basket, you are surely asking. A pivotal point to this problem, and one that had not gone unaccounted for. The bait was waiting patiently, all but perfect in its existence and placement. It was a tiger’s favorite food. Sitting there was a half-full (or half-empty, if you’re one of those kind of people) container of Oscar Mayer bologna, the top peeled back so as to release the sweet scent of chicken, pork, water, corn syrup, and lots of other things that were much harder to spell. There was only one detail that remained.

What was to keep the tiger from busting free from underneath the basket? It was really quite simple. While a tiger was usually very powerful, it would almost certainly be slothful and lax after feasting upon the bologna. That being the case, application of extra weight to the basket ensured the trap’s success and, ultimately, their victory. ...Basically, they were going to run out and sit on the basket.

“But what do we do after that?” Hinata asked, still trying to process the new knowledge that bologna was a tiger’s favorite food. Naruto assured her that it was so.

“After what?”

“After the tiger gets caught and we’re holding the basket down. Then what?”

“...Then it’s over, what are you talking about?”

The girl’s face grew noticeably more concerned, “We have to get it back home, somehow!”

“One could argue that the tiger is more at home out here.”

“N-Naruto!”

“Right, I know, sorry. ...Well, crap, why didn’t you say something before now?!”

Her head hung low, the girl apologized several times in splendid stuttering fashion. Assuring her that it was all right, Naruto pat her gently on the shoulder. It was at that point that Hinata finally understood that Lonely Island song about jizzing in her pants. Pretty much a normal reaction for Naruto touching her. When the boy turned his attention back to the doomed to fail trap, he was enraged to find that the bologna was missing!

“Well, gee,” Hinata huffed, “That wasn’t very nice at all! It makes me so gosh darn mad!”

Ignoring the G rated crap his company was barfing up, Naruto sprang from the bush and surveyed the scene as quickly as being a ninja would allow. Sure enough... “Tiger tracks...He’s a clever bastard, but I’m cleverer...er.” As he pondered just how difficult it was to say cleverer, he picked out the direction of the tracks. “Come on, Hinata! The bologna will slow him down!”

And so the two set off after the tracks, in high spirits despite their initial defeat. They chased after them for at least an hour, though it felt like many more. Several times they found themselves losing the tracks in the increasingly dense forest, only to pick them back up a few moments later. That was when something happened that neither of them expected.

“There are two sets of tracks...” Hinata mumbled, watching as the tracks split up and went in opposite directions.

“There’s only one missing tiger, though, right?” When she nodded the affirmative, Naruto let out a sigh. Still, he managed to smile. This was getting more interesting...a challenge! “It looks like he’s setting up fake tracks to throw us off. ...I’m starting to like this guy. Alright, all we have to do is split up and follow both tracks, right?”

“That sounds just like what he wants us to do...” Hinata cautioned, “We should stick together. Let’s try and figure out which ones are the real tracks.”

After finding that both tracks went for at least the next fifty yards in either direction, they decided to go with a GUT FEELING Naruto had. Sure enough, the tracks never vanished from them, and they felt confident they had made the right choice. ...And then their old problem resurfaced.

“The tracks split up again. ...There’s really only one tiger? I mean, it’s not cloning itself, right?”

Hinata, shaking her head, said, “Absolutely not! They definitely would have told me if more than the one got away...I think.”

Again, they chose a path to follow, but this time the tracks did end rather abruptly with no tiger to be found. Aggravated, Naruto punched a hole through a tree and then, consequently, took a few moments to tend to his throbbing hand. Of course, Hinata spent this entire time fawning over Naruto, and thus neither of them noticed anything being amiss. Sure enough, when they were both composed enough to follow the tracks back and pursue the other path...

“The tracks are gone.”

“...Looks that way.”

“I think we’re being toyed with.”

“...I’d heard it felt better than this.”

The two tried their best to get back to where they had been, but the forest was so overgrown and difficult to navigate this far in that they became hopelessly lost. The encroaching darkness did nothing to help their case, either. They might be ninja but, really, compasses aren’t mandatory equipment and Naruto slept through most of his classes. Hinata might have been able to find her way home, but so enamored was she with the idea of spending the night in the wilderness with Naruto that she sort of...slept through those classes too, or something. Whatever he would buy.

Defeated, lost, and wishing he had brought a little more instant ramen with him, Naruto finally caved. “Alright, I guess we’ll have to find a place to set up camp for the night.”

Never having heard any other words that excited her more (that she hadn’t recorded , anyway), Hinata was quick to agree. “We should find some water. I’ve been hearing some for awhile. Probably a little stream, but it’s just what we need.”

Not ready to admit he hadn’t heard a damned thing, Naruto dipped a little and extended an arm, “Lead on, then!”

Sure enough, the heiress led him right to a brook leading out of a small body of water nearby. The water, itself, was surprisingly clear considering the location. Hanging branches and rustling leaves created a ceiling-like canopy. Thick roots popped in and out of the ground like moles, most eventually penetrating the brook’s edge for a drink. And even though the leaves above moved under an unseen hand, no wind could break through the solidity of the forest to chill them.

Setting his supplies down on a firm, dry patch of earth by the brook, Naruto exhaled deeply and said, “I’m real sorry we didn’t find the tiger, today. But I’ll try even harder tomorrow! No dumb cat’s gonna outsmart me!”

“N-No, it’s ok, really! I don’t mind at all. And things got a lot tougher...I mean, what kind of tiger makes fake tracks, after all?” The girl set her things down with Naruto’s, wondering if her face gave away how excited she was.

“Yeah, that was weird. I don’t know, I just kind of feel bad about it. I mean, you can’t go home because of your dad. Not without the tiger, anyway. But what’s worse is that I feel kind of stupid for not being able to find my way back home. I would have definitely let you stay at my place, tonight. I mean...Whoa, hey, are you ok?”

“Oh, yes,” Hinata, beet red from both frustration at learning this (she could have gotten them home, noooo!), and from her mind instantly leaping to conclusions, had caused herself an intense nosebleed. “This happens, sometimes, I just need some tissues...”

Naruto handed the thoroughly embarrassed girl what little spare cloth he had to tend to herself and continued, “You just seem like someone who prefers to be indoors and clean, as opposed to outdoors and, well, covered in dirt. ...And blood.”

“Th-That’s not...well, I guess I don’t really like being covered in dirt. And blood. But I’m ok, really. You’re here, and that’s-” Had she had a gun, which didn’t even exist, Hinata would have shot herself there on the spot. Who says stuff like that!? CRAP, she was blowing it! And not even in the way she had imagined she might actually get to if she played her cards right!

Naruto, too, felt a wave of awkwardness crash over them. They were both dirty, sweaty, worn out from their fruitless struggles, and one of them was soaked in her own inexplicable nose blood. Hinata was a wealthy girl, but here he was making her sleep outside because of his own incompetence. Feeling very much like he had let her down and, to a lesser degree, himself, Naruto decided that he would at least try and make tonight comfortable. All of those factors taken into account, he said, “Hinata, why don’t we take a bath?”

Hinata’s nose had started to bleed again, but it only got worse when Naruto created three shadow clones. Each boy gave her a thumbs up and said, “I’m gonna take good care of you, tonight!”

-

Lee rolled over, eyes creaking open. Groggily, he muttered, “The nice guy pose...never fails...” He fell back to sleep with a smile.

-

“This is a technique that the pervy sage taught me,” Naruto explained, finishing up the writing on the once blank tag. A little ways up the brook they found a wider, deeper stretch of water that would serve well as a bath. The well-meaning ninja set the tag on the edge of the water, grinning broadly. “Check it out.” He pressed a finger to the tag, and the water began to bubble and warm up. “It’s a homemade jacuzzi!”

“W-Wow, that’s im-impressive...” Hinata admitted, dipping a toe into the water. Sure enough, it was the perfect temperature.

“Gotta hand it to him. I thought it was a dumb move that wouldn’t ever really come in handy, but look at that. The old perv’s coming through for me, finally!”

“U-Um, what about...what about the other three? Are...Are they going to join us?”

Mistaking the hope in her voice for confusion, Naruto replied, “Oh, no. They all have other jobs to take care of. Number one is going to take care of dinner, number two is in charge of making our place to sleep, and number three is checking the area out to make sure the tiger’s not around, just in case.”

Thoroughly impressed with her crush’s taking care of business, the girl could only stand there timidly, blushing and smiling.

“Well, I guess you go ahead and...you know, take care of the whole bathing thing. I’m gonna go and see if any of them need...What?”

“You mean you’re not...not gonna be joining me?”

“Uuuhhhh...” The boy’s brain popped and fizzled for a few seconds before it finally caught and started back up. “I hadn’t planned to, I mean...I don’t know, it seems kind of boundary crossing and...not like something I would normally do.”

Hinata’s throat was doing its best to close up, despite her best efforts at not letting it. ‘Come on, come on, take the chance! I’ve never had this much time with him, and it feels right! Just ask him to join you! You can DO IT, come on!’ “I-I just wouldn’t feel right...you’re doing all of this nice stuff for me...Helping me look, and now taking such good care of me, even though you don’t have to at all. I’m...I-I’m not getting in here unless you do, too. You deserve it, t-too. After all, it’s dark, and I trust you...” And Hinata’s balls finally dropped, and she became a man. ...Only in woman’s terms.

And something in Naruto told him to go ahead and do it. Of course, common sense and decency told him it was foolish, but something else in there suggested that it was not. She was insisting, after all, so it would be rude at this point to protest any further, wouldn’t it? Then that something...it wasn’t concerned with being rude. In fact, it was telling him to start undressing. Now. What the heck was going on? “Well...Ok, I guess if that’s the way you want it.”

-

Naruto number 1!

“I know I saw those dumb mushrooms around here, somewhere...” The Naruto was scrounging around on his hands and knees, trying rather futilely to find the fungi he had spotted earlier. They were very good for you, he recalled. The pervy sage had told him so. What were the exact words he had used? It was hard to remember...

‘Naruto, these mushrooms are very important, and you would do well to recognize and grab them whenever you can. They are edible, and it’s always important to make sure you have a sufficient store of food with you. Also, for the times when you can’t, it’s good to know what you can take from the land. But these mushrooms dwarf all of that. They’re important for what they do. These mushrooms, my young pupil, will completely energize the eater in the most important of ways! It will give you enough energy to go all night long, and fill you with the desire to work and grind harder than you ever have. It’s an extremely powerful aphrodisiac. Seriously, they’ll make you so hard you could just stick it right in a bowling ball, and bowl a full game. No lie.’

While some of that didn’t make sense to him (what the heck did aphrodisiac mean?), the rest seemed pretty good. They were exhausted from their journeys during the day, so to be completely re-energized sounded cool. He loved working hard and grinding out a full days worth of activity. And bowling? Who didn’t enjoy bowling a game every now and then? “I bet I could make a mean stew out of these things if I could just...THERE!” He plucked up a couple of fistfuls of the red and white-speckled mushrooms. He sat there for a second, then groaned in disappointment. “Mario picks up a mushroom like this and doubles in size. I pick one up but do I double in size? No, of course not.” ...Well, not yet.

-

Naruto number 2!

“Na, na na na nah, na na na nah, na na nah, na na nah, na na na nah!”

Dancing and throwing things around seemingly indiscriminately, the Naruto continued to rock Ini Kamoze’s not-present face with his rendition of the Hotstepper song. ...We’ll stop there.

-

Naruto number 3!

As luck would have it, this Naruto actually had picked up on some fresh tiger tracks. Even better, they led out to a small clearing where, clear as day, there was the tiger. Only it wasn’t alone. There were two other tigers with it! One of them was lost in deep sleep, but the biggest of them was wide awake, perched up behind the other non-sleeping tiger. It was rocking around awkwardly, in a position that didn’t look particularly natural. ...Or, geez, maybe it was way too natural...

“Oh, oh God, that’s great. Yeah, I definitely needed to see that,” Naruto grunted to himself, trying and failing to pry his eyes away. Yeah, those definitely weren’t off-colored tennis balls.

The tiger must have felt the stare on his balls, because it turned to look over it’s shoulder at Naruto, who was peeking over a bush. The tiger never stopped doing its thing, but their eyes met and intentions were most certainly exchanged.

Tiger: Holy-! What the f...Get the hell outta here! OCCUPIED, OCCUPIED.

Naruto: The gigs up. I’ve caught you, mister.

Tiger: Oh my God, dude...Don’t be that guy.

Naruto: You put me through a lot of crap, today.

Tiger: Seriously, you don’t know what kind of crap I’VE been put through. I haven’t busted a nut in MONTHS. I broke these bitches free for this, I need this shit!

Girl Tiger: Who you callin’ a bitch?

Tiger: Not you baby, not you, you’re great, I was talking about that sleeping bitch over there.

Naruto: You know you’re coming back with me, right?

Tiger: Man, I’ll go with you anywhere if you let me have tonight. I swear to Hello Kitty, I’ll go with you tomorrow.

And so the moment passed. Naruto nodded once to the humping tiger, and the tiger nodded back. The ninja then left them in peace.

-

“So...”

“So...”

“...Come here often?”

Hinata couldn’t help but laugh. It had been excruciatingly awkward for the first couple of minutes, but Naruto had begun to say random things like that to help ease the tension. Between them was one of the thirsty tree roots, providing just enough room between them that they could only see the other’s neck and face. Under the root, however, was nothing but water. All the girl could think about was how perfect it would be to hold his hand. Not to mention how simple a task it would be to do so. Unfortunately, sometimes it just happened to be that the simpler something was, the more impossible it felt.

‘Come on, Hinata, just reach out and grab his hand! I know I can do it!’ Well, at least that’s what she kept telling herself. The reality of it was that every time she tried to do it, her arm lost all of it’s feeling, save for an extreme tingling, as though it had fallen into a heavy sleep. ‘Oh my gosh, I’m such a loser!’
“Hinata, have you been...wanting something from me?” Naruto asked, glancing sidelong at her from over the root.

Unsure of how to process the question, properly at least, Hinata replied, “I-I couldn’t ask for anything m-more! You’ve been so wonderful to me, always. I...I’ve always admired you, and...um, n-no, why!?”

He cast her a grin of relief, “Nah, it’s nothing. I just had this crazy idea in my head...I’ve sort of been working myself up over something someone said to me a little while ago. It was just a joke, too. I mean, a half-joke. And uh...hahaha, it seems kind of silly, now, when I really think about it. Let me just that for the first time in awhile I feel...happy. Really happy.”

“R-R-Really?” The boy nodded back to her. “B-Because of...me?”

“I think so, yeah. Most everything I’ve done lately’s been because of you, actually. Now that I’ve talked to you and spent some time with you, I feel so much better.”

Taken aback so far she was almost back aforward, Hinata’s mind shot out the gate like a racehorse towards everlasting sugar cubes. ‘Was that a declaration of love!? I mean, it must have been! Why else would he say something like that!? And, and, and, he’s doing all of this stuff for me, and now he says that everything he’s done is for me!’ Newfound resolve and a burning hope in her gut gave Hinata the strength she needed to finally regain control of her arm. It was time. Time to hold his hand. And so the girl closed her eyes, blushed her deepest blush, and reached over, taking a hold of the first thing she found. Funny how little it felt like a hand. In fact, it felt more like...

“HELLOOOOOOO!” Naruto howled.

Realizing what she had done and what she currently had clutched in her hand, Hinata’s head snapped back and blood burst forth from her nose in spectacular fashion. It was like a red firework had gone off in her face. She went belly up in the bubbling water, though her hand never released its captives.

“OW, OW, OW, OW, OW!” Naruto tried to move as best he could to ease the horrible pain the girl was unintentionally inflicting upon him. His hands initially shot out to his sides in fright, but he quickly redirected them down low to pry Hinata’s hand off. Good God, why did girls have such long nails!? Once he was free, he swept over to the floating girl and scooped her out of the water, all the while keeping his eyes either closed or straight ahead. “I’m not looking, I’m not looking!” He repeated to himself.

Naruto number two rushed over, towel in hand. They quickly bundled the girl up, both doing their best not to peek at anything they shouldn’t be peeking at. Once she was all covered up, the two carried her over to the makeshift camp where their dinner was waiting, along with a homemade tent of sticks and leaves. A tiny fire was up, and all four Narutos were reunited.

“So...what the heck happened?” One of them asked.

“Well, she grabbed my peep and dangles and then blacked out. Y’know, after losing enough blood that I’m wondering how she survived.”

Another one asked, “What, you means eh had a nosebleed?”

“Yeah.”

“...Like the pervy sage does when he’s doing something pervy?”

“No, she told me earlier that she just has nosebleeds sometimes.”

“Oh yeah, she did say that earlier,” Naruto four put in. “Right after...oh, right after you said you would have taken her back to your place.”

All four Narutos fell silent, each looking at the other nervously. One of the four finally said, “You don’t think she took that the wrong way, do you?”

“Uh, I’m not so sure, now.”

“Yeah, that is kind of a weird coincidence.”

“Hinata always was kind of an odd girl.”

“Well then does that mean she had a nosebleed because she grabbed peepers or what!?”

“Oh, dude, that means she liked it!”

“Did you like it!?”

“No, holy crap, it hurt! She has a death grip, I’m telling you!”

“The only time anyone should be grabbing that is when they need to go. Period.”

“Let’s not even use that word. I can barely stand it, anymore.”

“Oh, hey, while we’re on the subject of, you know, balls and the like, I found the tiger. He was with two girl tigers. They’re gonna meet up with us in the morning.”

“Oh, awesome! Nice work. But...wait, how do you know he’s gonna meet up with us?”

“Oh, trust me, I know.”
“I guess that sort of explains how he was able to make fake tracks so quick without us having time to catch up.”

“Oh yeah, I wondered about that. The forest’s so thick that we must have missed the other tracks and thought it was only one tiger. Remember, we even lost them a couple of times.”

“Yeah. That, or they were going piggy-back.”

Naruto laughed for a moment before saying, “I love you guys.” He then released the seal and found himself alone with Hinata. It turned out that everything worked out for the best, after all. Except now he had the mental image of the tigers getting it on. Yeah, could have done without that. He noticed the girl shiver slightly and asked, “Hinata? Are you ok?” He received no response. “I guess you’re really worn out, huh?” That and she’d donated enough of the red stuff to the brook to open up a new blood bank. Though she didn’t speak, the girl did shiver again. He knew what he needed to do.

The blond scooted the naked but toweled girl as close to the fire as he safely could, then ever-so-gently dabbed away the beads of water from her exposed limbs and face. His fingers lingered by her cheek, only falling away to slide a wet lock of hair behind her ear. “Hinata...” He whispered. Still, she did not stir. She was so soft. He always knew she was gentle, but she seemed so cute and innocent, then. He thought back to his kiss with Sakura. Her lips had been so warm and soft...When Temari had kissed him in that bar, hers had been the same. So...would Hinata’s?

He was hardly aware of it, but the entire time he had been thinking, he had been slowly lowering his face towards hers. He got to the point where he could feel her soft breathing on his lips. He was ready to find out if she was as warm and soft as he thought, as gentle and as sweet as he imagined. And before he found out, before all thought and reason flew from his mind, one little memory flashed through his head. “After all, it’s dark, and I trust you...” I trust you.

Just slivers away, Naruto pulled back and let out a deep sigh. He conjured up a shadow clone and started, “I need you to do a couple of things for me. First, I just can’t eat right now and Hinata’s not gonna be, either. Let’s save the food for another time. Second, please put any spare blankets on Hinata so she doesn’t get sick. Third, make sure the fire is well contained after you do the fourth thing. The fourth one is the most important...”

-

Hinata woke slowly, comfortably. She was covered in blankets and warm as she could want. She practically jumped out of her skin when she found a tiger on either side of her, however, still deep asleep. As quietly as she could, she rose from her sleeping place, blankets and towels falling away, to find Naruto a few yards away. The biggest tiger was curled up next to him for three cats in all. Most perplexing of all, however, was that Naruto was bound up tightly in rope, sleeping peacefully. “N-Naruto!” She gasped, confused and nervous.

Naruto’s eyes fluttered open. He looked around, glad to see the tigers had shown up, after all. His gaze then fell on Hinata’s naked form.

Upon seeing the crimson flow from his nose, along with his enormous eyes, the heiress looked down at herself. Naked. Of course.

“KYAAAAAHHHHH!!!”


-----Author ’s other note: Ah, super Mario mushroom soup of doom. I wonder when you will be unleashed upon the world? Thanks for reading...-----