Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Forced Fate ❯ "I Miss You; I Need You." ( Chapter 9 )

Tayuya lay in Sasuke's bed, clutching his pillow to her face. She was inhaling his scent. It had been a month since he left on his mission, one month since she'd seen him. One month since she'd held him… one month…

"Hhh." She sighed longingly, her mind filling with memories of the dark haired ninja: his hot breath panting against her ear, the warmth of his body as it hovered over her, his rich voice as he whispered her name in pleasure…

She buried her face in his pillow, hugging it to her as if it were a living thing that could lend her warmth. 'God I miss that son of a bitch.' She thought as she let his lingering smell surround her, comfort her.

There were a thousand different things running through her mind and haunting her thoughts. His warmth, the feel of his beating heart as she lay holding him, the sound of his breathing… She'd felt so safe, so protected with him. She felt like even Orochimaru himself couldn't touch her. But he was gone and he might never come back.

It was a bit unsettling that she missed his presence so much, his warmth. She wasn't a being meant for companionship, for a serious relationship… Neither was Sasuke. But she could feel the pain of his absence. Her gut hurt, her chest hurt… She wanted to stay curled up in his bed, hugging that pillow, reveling in his smell until he came back.

'And if he doesn't come back?' Her mind taunted.

Unbidden, tears fell down her face. She missed him, and she felt certain she'd fallen in love with him. That was the last thing she'd ever wanted to do. Hell, it was the last thing she ever thought would happen.

They'd totally despised each other when he first came to the Sound. They were always arguing shooting out snippy comments to each other, physically fighting one another out of pure irritation and dislike.

One morning they'd been especially violent with each other. They'd been arguing, but what about she couldn't even remember. She'd been acting petulant, he arrogant. They started bickering over something trivial that soon led to physical pushing, smacking, blocking…

Somehow they'd ended up on the floor wrestling, pulling hair, pinching. They both gripped each other not wishing to let the other get away. He pushed. She scratched. They did whatever they could to hurt one another.

There was something erotic about the way they wrestled, limbs tangling, breath coming harder and faster from exertion, holding each other down, pressing each other into the floor…

After fifteen minutes or so they slowed in their wrestling; pushing became caressing, pinching became grabbing… The pissed off growls became wanting moans. The pained grunts became pleasure filled gasps, and before they knew it they were kissing open-mouthed and hungrily.

Realizing their wrestling match had turned into something totally different had them both frozen in wonder. They looked into each other's eyes, searching for a reaction, or a cue to continue.

Suddenly he wasn't the new jerky hotshot, but a very attractive male trapped beneath her. She could clearly remember wanting him to kiss her again, to touch her... But she wanted him to do it because he wanted to, not because it just happened.

Staring deep into Sasuke's eyes she watched as his hand reached down to caress her most intimate part. His look was arrogant and almost challenging. Daring her to stop his hand, daring her to not find his touch appealing.

She was extremely excited and pissed off at once. She wanted to violently wipe that egotistical look from his face, but at the same time she found it extremely erotic. And she was curious as hell about what he was going to do with that hand.

He pressed his hand against her and all thoughts of kicking his ass fled as a feeling like she'd never known before shot through her, making her gasp. His touch was absolutely euphoric.

Instinctively she rubbed against him, whispering his name in wonderment and bringing her mouth to suckle his neck.

He'd closed his eyes and tilted his head to the side, allowing her full access to his neck. She felt so empowered seeing him surrender to her in such a fashion. It had been euphoric to say the least. The all-powerful, ever-cold, Uchiha Sasuke offering her his neck.

Neither knew what hit them. It was as if all their animosity and irritation toward one another morphed into need and want. They were so used to grappling and hitting one another that their close proximity and touches seemed natural, different, but natural.

Their exploration hadn't gone too much further before Kabuto inadvertently interrupted them, summoning Sasuke for Orochimaru. Slowly they'd parted ways staring into each other's eyes, making silent promises for more later.

After that incident, it had become a game with them. Sneaking away, experimenting with each other's body, seeking pleasure from one another. Each time they got together, the "game" got more intense, building to a near unbearable tension, charging the air around them with lustful energy.

She looked around his room, searching for any personal effects other than the pillow. It was a painful sight. His room was so empty, so… clean and organized. She wanted to see traces of him everywhere but there were none, just a tidy unpersonalized room.

'That's his way,' just the necessities, never excess.

'If he never comes back... What will I do to keep him with me? What keepsake can I have to remember him by?'

"Tsk." She clucked out, clearly showing her irritation with her train of thought. This wasn't supposed to happen. She wasn't supposed to miss him, or be fond of him, or anything. He was pleasure that was it.

Gritting her teeth in tight irritation she turned her gaze to the ceiling. God she hadn't even been able to sleep since she found out he was missing. How many nights had she lay away staring up at that ceiling waiting for sleep to claim her? Too many. She'd grown very intimate with the details of his ceiling these past weeks.

They'd both swore that their relationship was and would always be strictly physical. They didn't want love; there was no place in there life for love. They were creatures of the same kind, cold, distant, angry… those kinds of creatures didn't cuddle or miss each other, and they most certainly didn't love.

What was the use? Their first loyalty was to Orochimaru, always. Should the snake ask her to kill Sasuke she would. She wouldn't like it. It would probably disturb her, but she'd do it. And she was certain Sasuke would too. They were completely loyal to him. They lived for one life, one loyalty, and one master… Orochimaru.

'What a disaster.'

She'd unknowinly betrayed her's and Sasuke's "this-is-only-for-pleasure" creed. Though it wasn't until she learned she'd lost him, quite possibly forever, that she realized it. She'd felt panicked at the news. Her stomach roiled with anxiety, her hands twitched with nervous anxiousness. She'd felt... heartbroken.

When Kabuto had told her the news she'd numbly scuffled her way to his room, shocked at how strong her reaction to the news of his disappearance was. It had caught her completely off guard. Some time when she wasn't looking, Sasuke had become important to her.

Somehow, through their coupling and contact she'd begun to see him as a permanent fixture in her life, one she'd come to count on. Sure, their relationship was very physical, but it was more too. It gave her companionship, comfort, understanding… 'He was mine. Only mine, and I want him back.'

It didn't really matter to her that she would cuddle against him in bed and he'd just allowed her, never returning the favor. It didn't really bother her that he'd shrug at her suggestion to sleep in his bed with him, not really showing whether he wanted her to or not.

His overall aloofness didn't offend her, because when he made love to her, yes made love to her, she knew she was the only one to have been so intimate with him, to have been touched by him, kissed by him… Because in that moment he was no longer cold and aloof, but sensual and attentive. And it was only with her. She felt like she belonged to him and he to her.

Their intimacy was something that had belonged to only them. It was something not even Orochimaru could share in. That's what made it so special, so addicting, because it was theirs and theirs alone. They lived in such a way that nothing was their own, not even their own lives. But this… this belonged to them.

She paused in her thoughts, deeply inhaling the scent of the pillow again. The scent was fading. Soon it would be gone and she'd be left with nothing but her memories of him, and soon they'd fade too. She'd forget what he looked like, forget exactly what his voice sounded like, forget what he smelled like…

Closing her eyes, causing her gathered tears to fall down her cheeks, she tried to recall her time with him. She remembered times waking up with her arms around him, her face buried in the back of his neck enjoying his warmth, his essence.

She remembered the night they gave themselves to each other fully. It was one of her most treasured memories, and though the thought of it brought her pain she recalled it anyway.

He'd just returned from a diplomat assassination, and was rummaging around in the kitchen. The moment she'd stepped into the room with him the air became thick with undertones of desire.

She watched his black clad figure rummage around in the kitchen. She had no idea what he was looking for, and she really didn't care; she just wanted to look at him. His black top, the one he wore for especially stealthy missions, molded to his form in such a way that she could make out the cut and shape of his perfect abs and pectorals when he moved. It was not skin tight, but it hugged his torso sinfully, and left his muscled arms blissfully uncovered.

She watched him move from cupboard to cupboard. He was a tall lithe figure. His movements smooth and graceful like a panther. Yes… Sasuke was a beautiful but deadly creature. And she wanted him. She wanted the Uchiha so bad she'd kill just to have one hour with him. She watched the muscles of his exposed upper arms contract and flex with his movements. She could imagine herself gripping those arms… She licked her lips.

He turned to her and smirked. It was such an arrogant and teasing smirk. It matched his personality perfectly, and she loved it. He knew she was watching him, knew what she was thinking.

At the time she remembered thinking he had to be the sexiest thing alive. She didn't love him, and she knew he didn't love her, neither of them would be fool enough to let that happen, but she didn't need to love him to want him. And oh how she had wanted him.

Only now she loved him. She had stupidly, ignorantly, idiotically fallen in love with him.

Recalling the wicked gleam in his eyes, she knew he had wanted her too.

That night, they'd christened the kitchen table with their first time. It had been fierce, passionate… wonderful. She smiled at the memory.

Tayuya lay back on the table wanting to see her lover more fully. Her eyes drank in his taught muscles, marveled at they way they stretched and flexed as he moved over her. He was so beautiful, so perfectly sculpted, and he felt so good inside her.

She sat up, gripping his hair roughly, feeling his hot breath ghost against her skin as he breathed heavily in her ear. "Your mine Uchiha. If anyone else even dares touch you… I'll kill them." She growled out when she heard him whisper her name in bliss.

She had felt so possessive of him at that moment. She still did. The thought of another even visually appreciating him made her blood boil with jealous anger. 'If anyone should ever touch him…' that thought absolutely blinded her with rage.

They were probably too young to have experienced such coupling, but what did it matter when your existence was not your own. When your life hung by a thread every day, and you only breathed another day because your master decreed it should be so or you happened to strike first.

When all hope is for a future is gone, when all the love in you has been burned out or buried so deep it can never surface what does a few more sins matter. With such a precarious existence does age really matter? When the joys in life are too few as it is, if existent at all, what harm would allowing yourself enjoy such wild pleasure do?

And it had been pleasing, too pleasing. It became a daily event when both of them could be together. She'd even taken to sleeping in his bed with him, no longer leaving after their bliss was spent. He hadn't minded, at least he never alluded that he did, but he never seemed pleased either. It just was.

She'd thought her ability to love burned out of her, buried, but now she felt the sting of its blade in her heart. She hated herself for letting the dangerous emotion in, allowing it to hurt her, but at the same time the world seemed brighter, more beautiful and she found she didn't resent living as much as she had before Sasuke. She hated herself and felt reborn at the same time.

'Where are you Uchiha?' She needed him back.

---

Naruto kissed her neck, caressing her curves. She absently rested her hands on his sides, stretching her neck to give his lips more room to rove. They were spread out on her sofa, the TV on but neither watching it.

For the past month she'd allowed Naruto more freedom with their kissing, allowed him to kiss other places, caress other places, like he was doing now. She made small sighs, and absently rubbed his sides in to feign enjoyment. She didn't want him thinking she didn't want this even though she didn't.

Her reason for allowing her blond companion to increase the intimacy level of their relationship was despicable. She was terrified he'd find out about the man in the other room. She was willing to do whatever necessary to keep the blond blissfully occupied, and this definitely worked. A bomb could have went off outside and he wouldn't realize it let alone a comatose man locked in her bedroom.

Naruto was incredibly dense and easy to fool, but he was also nosey and extremely determined. If he caught a whiff of something out of place he'd sniff and bully until he found out what it was. And there was only so long Naruto could be fooled, kept at by. He was absent-minded and a bit dense but he wasn't stupid, just slow to catch on.

Sakura dreaded the day he finds out about Sasuke. She was crippled with fear at what he might do. She was certain he'd be happy, but knew he'd tell the hokage or Kakashi, and she didn't know what they'd do to the dark-haired man. She just hoped that day never came. But then what was she going to do with Sasuke?

It had been one month since she found Sasuke unconscious, slumped against the door to her apartment. He'd been absolutely covered in blood, the cursed seal spread across his face and body, and he was extremely pale. She'd thought he was dead, thought her stupidity had robbed him of a chance at survival.

That night still haunted her…

She strolled along the Konoha streets almost leisurely, kicking small stones that dared rest near her feet. She ambled along toward her apartment at a snail's pace, not yet wanting to enter her small dark apartment.

She'd run from her home with every intention of seeing Naruto, rushing to the hospital to spend time in his warm embrace. The hospital staff had looked at her as though she were insane when she requested to see her blond companion. They politely informed her that it wouldn't be possible; the hour was too late. Like an idiot she hadn't realized it was past midnight.

As she walked down the street, their horrified, pitying faces kept flashing through her mind. Their expressions had said it all. 'Poor girl. She must really be out of it…' Everyone at the hospital had stared at her, pitied her. Poor weak little Sakura can't get along without her boyfriend.

That kind of pissed her off. She hated to be thought of as weak, but more than that it had been embarrassing. She couldn't help the bright red flush that colored her cheeks at the memory of it.

What a horrible night. She had just wanted someone to talk to, to occupy her, make her forget her heartache for a while. She was even feeling desperate enough to seek out Ino, but it was so late. Her childhood friend might be awake, but most likely not. She didn't want to go knocking on the blonde girl's door at such an hour anyway.

She knew Ino would welcome her, would never complain about the hour. But honestly, Sakura had better manners than that. Her parents had taught her better than to pound on someone's door in the middle of the night for no good reason.

'Sorry for the late hour Ino, but I had a distressful dream?' What was she a two-year old for goodness sake?

Sakura froze in her tracks. Her previous thought echoing in her mind. 'Her parents had taught her better than to pound on someone's door in the middle of the night for no good reason.'

"For no good reason." She whispered.

A sudden chill filled her, like she'd been doused with ice-cold water. Who had been at her door? Who had pounded no less than three times? Who had come to her in the middle of the night?

'Oh God what have I done?' After waking from that dream she'd been so stupidly absorbed in self-pity she hadn't stopped to think. She wanted to berate herself for her selfishness and idiocy, but there was no time. She ran for home.

A million scenarios ran through her mind of who might have been at her door as she rushed down the streets to her small apartment. She thought of reasons from something happening to her family or one of her friends, to Kakashi or Tsunade needing a favor, to an emergency mission summons…

Nothing she could think of came close to what she'd found.

That was when she'd found him. How long had he sat there in pain, waiting for her? What had happened to leave him in such a state? A million questions had run through her mind. Questions she still didn't have answers to.

She had dragged him into her apartment, allowing instinct to take over. She was a medical ninja, this was where her expertise was. Naruto and Sasuke instinctually fought, she instinctually saved. Not that she couldn't fight, she was very strong and more than capable, but instinctually she was a healer.

Everything after that was a blur. Her body just moved of its own accord, like she'd done this sort of thing a million times, and she had. Mostly in training, but she had some real life experience as well.

She had saved him that night, though how she didn't know. She was pretty sure the cursed seal had helped. In fact she suspected that without it he would have died. Well, he had died… twice, but she'd managed to bring him back. Unfortunately he never gained consciousness Even now, a month later, he lay comatose in her room.

Something about having Sasuke in the room next to where she and Naruto were groping and making out seemed wrong, completely and utterly wrong. She wanted Sasuke to kiss her like Naruto was, touch her like Naruto was, but she was allowing some other man to do it. She felt cheap.

For the first time, Naruto's touch made her feel dirty. She realized she never really wholeheartedly kissed him, but she'd never felt dirty… until one month ago.

And she didn't want Naruto to touch her so intimately, but he was. And she didn't dare stop him, but she wanted to. And she just wanted him to stop. She wanted Naruto near, and she didn't mind cuddling with him, but he shouldn't be touching her so intimately. It wasn't his place, that right belonged to another.

'Please stop! Please. I'm begging… stop!' She mentally chanted, feeling her panic rise. She couldn't breath; she felt so trapped.

She screamed out, "Stop!" And a loud thunk sounded in the other room… 'Sasuke!'

Panic definitely settled in.

*Thanks to all for reading and reviewing!