Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Funky's Special Show - Naruto Addition ❯ Legal Matters? ( Chapter 3 )

[ A - All Readers ]
It’s me again! Up with chapter 3, down with people whose heads are shaped like turnips! Uh, no offense if your head IS shaped like a turnip. I was just saying something weird. Anyway, this chapter is about Sakura, due to popular demand
Inner Self: Are you just flattering yourself again?
AS I was saying, it’s...well, just read it. I found Sasuke particularly fun to annoy...but I find them all fun to annoy.

Disclaimer that I forgot to do all other times: I don't own Naruto, or my brother, Funky. I do own a Nintendo DS and a COPY of the Kingdom Hearts game, but not the actual thing. I don't own Quigley Quagmire. Or that idiotic show Bobobo-bo-bo-bobo.

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“And we’re back!” shouted Funky, waving a plastic spork. “And look what I got from that spiffy commercial! Anyway, today it’s Kakashi’s turn!”

There was a pause, and then Funky said again, “I said, KAKASHI is our Special Guest!”

Still another pause, longer, when Funky shouted, “WHERE THE HECK IS KAKASHI!!?”

“Uh...” a woman walked on stage with a clipboard and whispered something to Funky. Then she took his spork and ran off the set.

“Um, according to the mike lady Kim, Kakashi can’t be found at this particular time. So...” Suddenly Funky paused and looked down at his hand. “HEY! MY SPORK!!!!”

“Well whose turn is it?” shouted Viewer #1, biting her nails.

“I’ve gotta know!” cried Viewer #2.

“And I really need underwear!” whined Viewer #3.

“Shut up!” said Panda from the corner of the room. She was punching buttons on her Nintendo DS. “I really need Namine to DIE!!!”

“Oh, yeah.” Funky suddenly remembered what he had been talking about. “It’s Sakura’s turn! Please welcome Special Guest Sakura!”

Sakura walked onto the screen from the side. “Hi! I’m Sakura, and I-”

“Enough about you. We all know that you-” But poor Funky wasn’t able to say what he knew about Sakura.

“HEY!!!!!” she yelled, lunging at him. “I WAS TALKING!!!” She started punching him in the head.

“Ow!! Hey, it’s against the rules to punch the Funky!” Funky cried, trying to shield himself from the anger of a girl. “Sasuke!” he yelled, running around.

Sasuke once again sauntered onto the screen. Sakura stopped dead and started drooling over him. Again.

“Whew!” said Funky, whipping his forehead. “Anyway, the first thing to do is, well, you all know how much Sakura drools over Sasuke, so, get him to do something mean. Which, for Sasuke, isn’t hard.”

“Sasuke, I-” started Sakura, but was cut off by Sasuke.

“Would you SHUT UP and LEAVE ME ALONE?!?” he yelled, smacking her in the face with a golf club.

“OW!” Sakura yelled.

“YES!” Panda cried.

Sasuke walked off. Then Naruto walked on.

“Sakura thinks Naruto’s a dweeb,” Funky continued, motioning to the side, where Naruto was walking out. Suddenly Funky was hit on the side of the head with a golf ball.

“Sorry!” called Sasuke.

“Anyway,” muttered Funky, rubbing his head, “it’s a clash of the...er...two people who don’t get along!”

“Hi, Sakura!” said Naruto, eating a bag of cheesy chips, like the ones on that annoying commercial with the little kid who cries, ‘Cheese!’

“Urg,” said Sakura. Then she talked to herself in her head, but for some weird reason everyone could hear her like they do on TV and in books. ‘Naruto’s so annoying, but since we’re a team, I should try to be nicer to him. After all-’

“I SAID, HI SAKURA!!!” Naruto screamed in her ear.

“GOOD GOD, NARUTO!!!!!!!” Sakura screamed back. “WOULD YOU SHUT UP!?” Then she pulled out a hairbrush and started beating Naruto with it. ‘OH YEAH,’ said her split-personality. ‘I ROCK! TAKE THIS, NARUTO!’

The screen went black.

“Woah,” said Viewer #2.

“Sakura’s scary,” said Viewer #3.

“Hey! Why am I last? I’m Viewer #1!”

“Oh, shut up,” growled Panda from the corner.

“What’s wrong with her?” Viewer #3 asked Quigley.

Quigley shrugged. “She’s mad because Sora believes Namine.”

Suddenly Panda grabbed Quigley. “Don’t. Say. That. NAAAAAMMMMME!”

Viewer #2 winced.

“Hey! Stop that!” said Viewer #1. “I’M #1!!!!!”

Funky’s Special Show reappeared on the TV screen. This time Sakura was tied to a nearby tree.

“YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME!!” she screamed, kicking at Funky. “I’M A NINJAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!”

“Well, I-” Funky started to say.

“I WANT MY LAWYER!!” yelled Sakura.

A man with big glasses and a combover ran onto the screen. “Excuse me,” he said to Funky, setting up a card table and opening his briefcase.

“Wait a...if you’re a ninja, why do you have a lawyer?” asked Funky.

The screen once again went black. Letters appeared on the screen.

“Finally!“ said Viewer #1. “I’m back in first!”

“Then READ the dang thing!” said viewer #2.

“Due to legal matters, Funky’s Special Show has been posponed for as long as it takes Funky to get out of the entanglement of the legal system,” read Viewer #3.

“Whatever. My brother’s way too dumb to know what to do in a court hearing.” Panda pressed a button on the remote. “Ooh, look, it’s...WHAT IS THIS???”

All four people watched in horror as a guy with a huge yellow ’fro ran around with a weird orange thing and an annoying girl with pink hair, doing weird things.

“THIS IS TERRIBLE!” cried Viewer #1.

“MY EYES!!!!” screamed Viewer #2.

Viewer #3 just did an eye twitch.

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Okay! I know there wasn’t much annoying Sakura, but I need some good ideas! So review! And, well, next is Kakashi, and...how do I say this...how do you annoy KAKASHI? He seems more like the type who would annoy other people...so please! I need ideas before the next chapter can go up! I’ll be waiting!